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Mafia
Inspector Eless looked at the scene of the crime and groaned softly. This would be one hell of a clean-up job. Before him stood a gutted ruin of a house, clearly the victim of an explosion of some kind. Also, there were like... pieces... yeah...

Eless pulled out his phone and dialled the Mayor.

"Clu? You know that SRJJJB guy? Well, uh, there's been ... an incident."

Dead: SRJJJB, Vigilante and inactive as hell.

Alive:
Zetta
choic
KillerVole
CJanosi
d0ddi0slave
Anderson
Yossarian
Killer_Moth
Parzel

Those that have kicked the bucket:
Mimi, ordinary Citizen, stabbed Night 1
R-S-Lee, Mafia Goon, lynched Day 2
landlocked, some kind of Cop, shot Night 2
Mitsuko, Citizen, lynched Day 3
SRJJJB, Vigilante, blown up Night 3


It's day again. No more talky from the mafia. You have five days to make a decision from this post, meaning the deadline is May 5th at 4PM EST.

With 9 alive, it's 5 to lynch.

Pre-Game Senior Prank
choic
Apr 30 2009, 02:14 PM
Better yet: don't let things get over the top

Quoted for truth.

It doesn't have to be some super elaborate prank, and if it goes too far, people are gonna get nailed for it. And well, would these unruly folks be on the trip? I don't think so.

Finale: Live and Let Die
"The... fuck?"

Sean had been fully intending to get the hell inside the boats once the shooting started. What could anybody expect him to do? He had a head wound and a freaking poker for God's sake, not exactly the ideal equipment for a firefight now was it?

It pissed him off though, it really did.

Why couldn't they catch a damn break? It was just one thing after another. They get the collars off, but then the terrorists turn up. They get away, there's a hugeass explosion. They make it to something approaching safety, the terrorists catch the fuck up again!

So Sean was just stepping towards the boat itself when a pain flared up in the small of his back.

Oh holy FUCK that hurts.

Sean staggered, hit the sand on his knees. What the hell had happened? Jesus... Sean clutched at his back briefly, then had to put out his hands to stop himself from falling on his face. His hand was bloody, and even as he realised that, Sean felt wetness trickling down his back, and he was quite, quite sure that even now a red stain was spreading across his white shirt.

"I fucking hate this island," Sean muttered, beginning to crawl towards what he hoped was safety.

*

"We fuckin' beatcha ya no good sons of bitches! We got th' goddamn collars off - we're gettin' outta here, and ya can't fuckin' stop us!"

Maxie Dasai wasn't really making much sense, but in the circumstances, that was perhaps understandable. After all, she'd had it pretty rough, even by the standards of the game.

Well, enough was enough. She wasn't going to let anybody else take her hits for her. They were so close to escape that they had to make it, and no fucking bunch of psychos was going to stop them. No more hiding behind other people, it was time to actually do something.

Despite the fact that Maxie was pretty much already in safety, she immediately left the boat and charged towards where Ianto was lying, hurt. She couldn't see anyone other than the lone terrorist who had come out of the trees and shot Ianto (and that other guy, whoever he was), but Maxie didn't want to take the risk there would be more.

"C'mon, let's getcha someplace safe," Maxie muttered to Ianto, looping his arm around her shoulder and neck, her nerves jangling at the contact. She shoved her discomfiture away. Now wasn't the time. Maxie grabbed Ianto's rifle with her free hand, although she didn't try and take it off him - she just didn't want to stop to retrieve it if Ianto wound up letting go. Paranoia told her they'd be needing their weapons. After that was done, Maxie began dragging Ianto back towards th boats, trying to be reassuring as she spoke to him.

"Stay with me now, c'mon. You're gonna be just fine."

Mafia
Although she tried to defend herself, Mitsuko was not nearly persuasive enough to disaude a town that was demanding blood. With the sun rapidly sinking, and with Mitsuko with the most votes on her head, the town came to a decision. Although not ideal, if more people were convinced Mitsuko was mafia than anybody else, they had to have a chance of being correct, right?

Well, that's what they told themselves, anyway. Stringing Mitsuko up, the townsfolk went to search her house...

...but found nothing incriminating.

Dead: Mitsuko, Citizen

Night 3 begins. Please send in your night actions ASAP. Deadline is 48 hours or until all actions are in, whichever is first.

Again, if you would like to play, then either send me a PM or post in this topic, as inactivity means I need replacements.

Mafia
Deadline is up, write up to come when it isn't the morning and I don't have school bearing down on me.

Vote Count:
Mitsuko: 4 (KillerVole, Yossarian, Killer_Moth, Parzel)
Killer_Moth: 2 (Mitsuko, Zetta)
Parzel: 2 (Anderson, CJanosi)

Not voting: (3) choic, d0ddi0slave, SRJJJB

People who need to be posting soon: choic, d0ddi0slave

Looking to replace: SRJJJB

First person to post an 'in' following this post gets the spot.

It's currently twilight, so no mafia talking or sending actions in.

Frank Panovich
Denied.

I'm going to be a little blunt here and tell you that I don't like the concept here at all. It reads to me like 'Hey, look at me - I'm going to be a crazed killer!' - that's pretty much all the guns training and anger issues say to me. I don't think somebody would get away with violence in school that much - there will come a point where even the most lenient will say 'screw this, it isn't worth the hassle' and expel the guy.

My advice? Toooone it down, as it stands, Frank is too over the top.

Felicia Carmichael
Indeed it is: Approved!

Raleigh Hunter
I can see an extra little bit on working out, but again, it's not really in detail.

All the same, so long as you fix that up before V4... Approved for pregame.

Claire Lambert
Approved Aaronface.

Rashid Hassan
Fix your formatting please laZ. It needs to match the example in this topic.

Brett Palmer
Approved.

Felicia Carmichael
Temporarily Denied.

There are a couple of spelling mistakes here and there that could be rooted out with a proof read, but primarily, this: Felicia has characteristic brown eyes (which some friends swear turn black when her temper is provked)

Uh-uh. I don't care if it's flavour or simply exaggeration, I would like it removed.

Raleigh Hunter
Temporarily Denied.

There is only a minor issue with this, and it's that you bring up his hobbies and interests but then don't expand upon them anywhere in the biography section. How did Raleigh get so into working out, for example? If it's enough of a big deal that Raleigh does it a great deal (since it's one of his main interests), then it needs to be elaborated upon in the biography.

Other than that, a good attempt, well done.

Singalong
Winston stopped speaking to watch Madeleine after to started to sing softly. Kent, though slightly rude, had a point with what he was saying. It was a bit odd for somebody to just walk into a room and start painting. All the same... he didn't like how Kent had phrased that, he was sure that there was a reason to start painting.

He shuffled his feet awkwardly, feeling embarrassed in case Madeleine associated him with Kent's rudeness. They had been talking after all... Winston didn't want to be thought of as a person who didn't care about other people's feelings. Or tact.

Mafia
By request:

Vote Count:
Mitsuko: 3 (KillerVole, Yossarian, Killer_Moth)
Killer_Moth: 2 (Mitsuko, Zetta)
Parzel: 1 (Anderson)

Not voting: (5) choic, CJanosi, d0ddi0slave, Parzel, SRJJJB

With eleven alive, auto-lynch requires 6. Deadline Monday at Midnight (EST)

Realism Litmus Test
Muninn
Apr 25 2009, 12:59 PM
True... maybe change the categories so that instead of presenting themselves as absolute indicators of Sue-ness, they have a "recommended level of writing skill"? Everything on this list, up to and including first-degree murder, can be written well and believably.

For that matter, maybe this would serve better if adapted into a "Realism litmus test". A character being a sue isn't at as much of a risk as in normal fiction, because no matter what the character is still limited to being able to do what the handler can write without the consent/cooperation of other handlers. On the other hand, a realism test (which would pretty much be the same test, but minus all of those questions regarding your character's beliefs vs. yours, many of which have already been removed) would probably be slightly more applicable here.

Yeah, I sort of agree - it's more an indicator of realism than outright Sueishness I suppose, since as you said: various aspects of this can be written well, it's when they start stacking up that it becomes a real problem.

But still, people can write Sues, I've seen them about the place, some not that bad, a couple absolutely terrible. All the same just because a character isn't a Sue, doesn't mean they're necessarily a good character.

Realism Litmus Test
So far as I can see, they're not completely abitrary though. Looking at this test with my modhat on, the requirement to get as many points as is necessary to score 'Above 20' would need a fair number of different attributes that would be considered 'Sue-ish'

My personal opinion is, however, that Sueism, in a RP, is much more down to how you play a character than what their backstory is like.

Realism Litmus Test
Okay, I'm going to give this a run through, see how well it works.

Section I: What's in a Name?

*Is your character named after you? (This includes first, middle, or last names, nicknames, aliases, or chat names)? [+3 points]

- I agree with the points here. Although self-inserts are usually played well, it's still worth a couple of points in my mind.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 0
Bounce: 0
Jessie: 0

*Is the character's name an unusual spelling of a more common word or name? (e.g. Kai'lee, Jessyka, etc.)? [+5 points]

- Oh yes, yes, yes. This is hugely annoying, and not as minor as the original test made it out to be.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 0
Bounce: 0
Jessie: 0

*Is your character's name a noun or adjective not normally used as a name? (e.g. Storm, Rock, etc.) [+5 points]

- Again, I agree, although I think 'Rock' actually can be a name, not sure.

*Does your character's name have unneccessary hyphens, apostrophes, or other punctuation? (e.g. Donovan-Jacob, Ju'lee, etc.) [+5 points]

- Except for double-barrelled surnames or first names (like Sophie-Anne), I think this is entirely reasonable.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 0
Bounce: 0
Jessie: 0

*Does the character have more than one first, middle, or last name without reason? [+3 points]

- I would heavily emphasise 'without reason' here, as I can various reasons for them having additionals.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 0
Bounce: 0
Jessie: 0

*Does the character have a name you really, really like? [+1 point]

- I'm shakey on this one. Why shouldn't your characters have names you like? I would possibly amend this to something along the lines of this only applying if this name doesn't make much sense in the setting.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 0+1 (But all the same...)
Bounce: 0
Jessie: 0

*Does your character's name describe his or her personality? (e.g. Alma means kind, Curtis means courteous, etc.) [+1 point]

- This is reasonable, although knocking it up a point might be worthwhile.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 1
Bounce: 0
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have a nickname or pseudonym? [+1 point]
Is it a "dangerous" nickname? (e.g. Stone Cold, Dagger, etc.) [+3 points]

- This sounds good to me, I think I'd add an option between the first and second which is something along the lines of 'Without good reason?' for around 3 points, and Dangerous nicknames could be bumped to 5. (Pet hate, don't mind me). Possibly condone the nickname in general if it's only a contraction.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 1+1 (As I said, contraction)
Bounce: 0+1 (Well... duh)
Jessie: 0

*Is your character's name foreign, even though your character isn't? [+1 point]

- Fairly reasonable.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 2
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have a Japanese name? [+5 points]

- I would add the disclaimer 'Does your character have a Japanese name whilst not being themselves Japanese?'

Winston: 0
Rosa: 2
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Is your character named, first, last or otherwise, after another fictional character? (For example, naming a character Edward Elric, or even just "Edward" with that character in mind.)[+10 points]
**Is the character you named yours after from Battle Royale? [+10 points]

- I think this one is a little bit tricky to gauge - they might just share the name. For example, there is a character called Winston Smith in 1984, but I didn't name Winston after him: I don't know, it's kinda hard to determine whether they are deliberately named as such. Agree Battle Royale though.

Winston: 0
Rosa: 2
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Does the character have a name or nickname that corresponds to a mythological/literary/historical/etc. figure (e.g. Venus, Faustus, Bonaparte)? [+5 points]

- Again, I think it honestly has to be deliberately emulation or else a rather uncommon/unusal name in the first instance.

Winston: 0+5 (Churchill, bah)
Rosa: 2
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Does your character share the same first or last name (common names such as Andrew or Jones do not count, we're talking Jamie Amy or Shirohara) with a character from SOTF Version 1? [+1 point]

- I think this should be worth a couple more points.

Winston: 5
Rosa: 2
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

Section II: Beauty is Only Skin Deep

*Is your character highly attractive? [+3 points] (if it is mentioned that your character has to work hard to maintain their physical beauty, only add 1 point)

- No complaints here squire.

Winston: 5+ 3 ( not in so many words, but still)
Rosa: 2 + 1 (She does put the effort in)
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Is it stated in their profile that many people are attracted to him or her? [+1 point]
**Even if they are involved with someone else? [+2 points] (only add 1 point if said character isn't seriously committed to their relationship)
**In defiance of sexual orientation? [+4 points]

- Moar points please. That's almost GMing.

Winston: 8
Rosa: 3
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have an unusual eye color, or otherwise exceptional eyes that don't occur in nature? [+5 points]

- Definitely, definitely.

*Does your character have a demeanor that somehow reflects deep sorrow, a tragic experience, etc.? (Regina's longing gray eyes always seemed to portray a sort of deep sorrow and resentment because of her horrific past) [+4 points]

- Yes, but only beyond being generally mopey.

Winston: 8+4 (Bah)
Rosa: 3
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have unusual or exceptional hair without reason? (obviously, dye jobs and styling don't count) [+3 points]

- I'd put this on a par with exceptional eyes, it's essentially the same thing.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 3
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Is your character fashionable beyond their years (for example, you don't generally see a student wearing business suits or ballgowns to class) [+2 points]

- Only if this is majorly present. Some people are just a little more grown up.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 3
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Does your character dress in a manner that you find particularly sexy, attractive, or cool? [+1 point]
**Even though it's illogical for said character to dress this way (dressing in designer clothes while all their siblings can afford is hand-me-downs is a good example; or dressing in miniskirts on school campus even though it's against the rulebook) [+3 points]

- Again, I don't really find the handler liking the way of dressing a valid reason for a point without the qualification of the second *.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 3+1 (I personally don't, but that was the idea in mind)
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Is your character ever described as "thin enough to be anorexic", where it is intended as a compliment? [+3 points]

- This is slightly too specific, I think just being really skinny in general getting described in a complimentary way should count.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 1
Jessie: 0

*Is your character unusually slim and svelte without having to exercise or diet to keep the weight off? [+3 points]

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 1+3 (Well, slim I guess. I'm being harsh)
Jessie: 0

*Is your character unusually muscular and ripped without having to work to gain that type of body? [+3 points]

- I think this should be worth more than skinny, at this age, high metabolism is feasible, people don't just grow musecles outta nowhere.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 4
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have a "natural hourglass figure" that requires no upkeep? [+3 points]

- No complaints.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 4
Jessie: 0

*Is your character unusually developed for his or her age? (for example, your 13 year old girl is of average height and weight but bears D cup breasts) [+5 points]

- Definitely, although it shouldn't be much of an issue with seniors.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 4
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have any markings or piercings that a person under 18 years of age should not have? [+1 point]
.**Do they have a tattoo? [+1 point]
**Was it professionally done without their parents signing for it? [+1 point]

- Personally, I don't really see the problem with the tattoo thing unless they are under eighteen.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 4
Jessie: 0

*Is your character exceptionally pale or tan? [+1 point]

- Without good reason.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 4+1 (Pale)
Jessie: 0

*Is your character much older (read: several years, not just a year or so) than the rest of his/her classmates? [+1 point]
**Is it because of a tragic occurance in his/her life that resulted in them missing out on a year or more of school? [+3 points]

- Barring being really, really, stupid, I agree.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 4
Jessie: 0

*Does your character look or act much older than the average high school student? [+2 points]

- I guess it depends on their reasons for looking/acting older.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 4+2 (Sort of, I'm thinking general cynicism here)
Jessie: 0

[Subtract 3 points if your character is overweight for the full duration of the story. Having been overweight but losing it prior or being "busty" doesn't count.]

- Yes.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

[Subtract 3 points if your character has any stand-out physical features that would make them unusually unattractive, such as bad acne or a very large nose.]

- Also yes.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

[Subtract 2 points if your character is very smug, arrogant, conceited, or vain about their looks.]

- And to round off: yes.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

Section III: Don't Give Me Your Life Story!

*Does your character have someone that is very close to them that is also played by you? (For example, their best friend.) [+3 points]
** Is the other character you play their sibling? [+3 points]
** Their twin? [+3 points]

- Could not agree more, although I don't agree with Rattlesnake's 'If they have a twin played by somebody else' bit. Otherwise their essentially being penalised for being born at the same time as a sibling. Or two.

*Is your character of above average intelligence? [+1 point]
**Is he/she a genius? [+1 point]

- This is reasonable, although I'd tack on an extra point for being a genius.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 6+1 (Yep)
Jessie: 0


*Is your character related to royalty, nobility, high-ranking government officials, etc.? [+4 points]

- Oh, definitely.

Winston: 12
Rosa: 4
Bounce: 7
Jessie: 0

*Is your character rich or well-to-do? [+2 points]

- Hm... I suppose so. I don't think it's particularly bad - maybe if their family is literally super rich?

Winston: 12+2
Rosa: 4+2 (Both come from wealthy families)
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Is your character the last surviving member of their family after some horrible and tragic accident occured? [+4 points]

- I agree.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 6
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have amnesia? [+4 points]
**[Subtract 3 points if your character never remembers anything of what he or she has forgotten.]

- I would possibly knock off the points from the first one if alternatively there is an extremely viable reason for the amnesia, but obviously not culminatively.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 6
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have an angsty past? ("Angsty" meaning something particularly unusual. A bad breakup wouldn't count. Watching your parents die would.) [+5 points]
**Does he/she angst about it during the story? [+5 points]

- I don't think they should get so many points for angsting about it in the story, that kind of thing would affect you. For example, Simon Wood's footballing was ruined by the accident he suffered that crippled his arm, it would be weird if he didn't get a bit upset about it now and then.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 6
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Does your character's behavior stem from their tragic past? [+1 point]

Winston: 14
Rosa: 6+1 (Insomuch as that she acts like she does because of the whole deal with her father)
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Was your character an illegitimate child? [+1 point]

- Eh, this doesn't seem particularly point-worthy to me.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 7
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Was your character ever kidnapped/abducted? [+1 point]

- Agreed.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 7
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Was your character abandoned by their parents? [+3 points]

- Without good reason (as in, they were put up for adoption because their parents couldn't afford to look after them).

*Did your character ever (willingly or forcibly) sell his or her self? [+10 points]

- In my opinion, a couple less points.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 7
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Has your character ever lived in extreme poverty? (We're talking can't always afford to eat or buy clothes, extreme poverty.) [+3 points]
**Has your character ALWAYS lived in extreme poverty? [+5 points]

- Agreed.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 7
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Did your character ever run away from home? (for more than just a few days) [+1 point]

- With the 'more than a few days' clarification, I agree.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 7
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Did your character ever suffer emotional or physical abuse? [+2 points]

- From who? Is this strictly backstory?

Winston: 14
Rosa: 7+2 (Tentatively, for Happily Ever Afters)
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Did your character ever suffer sexual abuse? [+10 points]
. Was it rape? [+10 points]
. Was it incest (father/daughter, brother/sister, etc.)? [+10 points]

- Less points for the first, but the others are all good.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 9
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Has your character had numerous sexual partners? [+2 points]
**Without anything bad ever happening? (STDs, pregnancy) [+2 points]
**Despite their lack of safety? (read: if your female character is not on birth control and/or using condoms, she's likely to wind up pregnant. If your male character refuses to wear a condom, he might easily contract an STD. Fact of life.) [+3 points]

- Yeah, this seems reasonable.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 9+4 (Obviously)
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Does your character constantly feel guilty about something that happened in the past? [+1 point]
**Even when there's overwhelming evidence that it wasn't their fault? [+2 points]

- Again, it's not unusual to feel guilty if you screwed up in a big way - so only if they're thinking about it a great deal.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Prior to the SOTF program, had your character ever committed a serious crime or felony that they would have to go to jail for? [+5 points]
**And did they mysteriously manage to get away with the crime? [+10 points]

- I totally agree.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Is your character, or should they be, classified as insane prior to the events of SOTF? [+20 points]

- Yep, this looks good to me.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Does your character consider their beauty/talent/skill/etc. a curse? [+3 points]

- Ayup.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Does your character carry a deep, dark secret with them that no one else knows? [+1 point]
**Will it affect their actions over the course of the game? [+1 point]

- It kinda depends the reasons for carrying this secret/specifically what it is.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Would your character willingly kill someone BEFORE coming to the island? [+10 points]

- If the meaning is that they wouldn't have any problem with it as opposed to 'Oh I could kill you' then sure.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Has your character knowingly killed somebody? Accidentally or otherwise. [+30 points]

- I would have 'Has your character knowingly killed somebody?' for 15 and 'Was it deliberate?' for another 15.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

[Subtract 1 point if your character harbors a crush on a fellow classmate whom they have no hope of ever dating.]

- Good.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

[Subtract 3 points if your character harbors a deep hatred and resentment of another character because they are jealous of him or her.]

- Also good.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

Section IV: It's Not Just About Looks!

*Is your character unusually accomplished for his/her age? [+2 points]

- I suppose this is reasonable.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 6
Jessie: 0

*Is your character fluent in more than 1 language? [+1 point]
**More than 2 languages? [+2 points]

- I should think that this should be a bit dependant on their lineage. If somebody has say a French parent and an English parent, it's reasonable to suggest they would know both, it's altogether something else to have simply learned the language.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 13+1 (Italian, English)
Bounce: 6+1 (Russian, English)
Jessie: 0

*Has your character travelled extensively? [+1 point]

- Fair enough.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: 0

*Does your character collect things you consider intellectual or cultured? [+1 points]

- Again, only if there isn't a good reason for it.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: 0

*Is your character consistently radical and ill-behaved without repercussions? [+3 points]

- And proper repercussions. Not a slap on the wrist.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: 0

*Does your character find that they are a "natural" at something they have never tried? [+3 points]

- Depends when exactly this occurred. Backstory not so much, although I'd agree with it being in pregame/game.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: 0

*Does your character have an amazing singing voice? [+1 point]

- ...Eh, I suppose it's alright.

Winston: 14+1 (For obvious reasons)
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: 0

[Subtract 1 point if your character has ever fairly lost a fight or competition against someone who was not the character's rival.]

- I think this should be co-signed with an extra point if they have never lost a fight or competition in any kind of way.

Nobody except Jessie does sports. Not counting fights for the others: Winston is a pacifist so it wouldn't be fair, JJ was much stronger than Rosa, and Pondsworth was like twice Bounce's size.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: 0-1 (I assume she has, at some point, lost a hockey game.

*Does your character play a musical instrument well? [+1 point]
. Is it guitar? [+1 point]
. Bass? [+1 point]
. Violin? [+1 point]
. Piano? [+1 point]

- I guess.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

*Does your character "just know things", or can "sense" them? [+5 points]

- Definitely if this is on a regular basis.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

*Does your character speak with an accent? [+1 point]

- I think this should be axed: for one thing, it's impossible not to have some kind of accent, and for another, say a character is not American, why wouldn't they have an accent?

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

*Does your character have a major quirk or habit in common with you? (biting your nails, "child-talk" around boys, etc.) [+2 points]

- Agreed, although nail biting isn't major.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

*Does your character have a physical handicap that does not hinder him or her significantly? [+6 points]

- Less points unless the precise meaning is that the physical handicap is something that would usually be considerably hindering and is hence being shrugged off very easily.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

*Does your character have a mental disorder? [+5 points]
** One that would normally keep them out of high school? [+5 points]
** Do you or do you plan on using that disorder as an excuse for your character to kill? [+5 points]
**[Subtract 5 points if said disorder significantly handicaps your character, i.e. Downs Syndrome or something along those lines.]

- I agree totally.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

*Do animals or children instinctively like the character? [+2 points]

- This strikes me as slightly odd, but I agree all the same.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

*Is your character exceptionally popular? [+2 points]
. Despite the fact that they are rude and uncivil toward their classmates? [+1 point]
. Despite the fact that their classmates seem to detest them? [+1 point]
. Are their classmates just jealous? [+1 point]

- This depends on whether or not they are directly stated to be very popular, otherwise they might literally have loads of characters who are their friends.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

*Are other characters jealous of your character? [+1 point]
**Are you jealous of your character? [+4 points]

- Without good reason: if for example somebody is jealous of Rosa for being attractive because they themselves are ugly, I don't see the 'point' here.

[Subtract 1 point if your character is a smoker.]

- I guess.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7
Jessie: -1

[Subtract 2 points if your character has a dependency or addiction that is or would be very hard to break (such as gambling, drugs, alcoholism, a sex addiction, etc. Subtract another point if your character never overcomes this addiction.]

- Also yes.

Winston: 15
Rosa: 14
Bounce: 7-3 (TEH INTERNETZ!)
Jessie: -1

[Subtract 2 points if your character has a significant personality flaws (We're talking self-centered, lazy, awkward, stuff like that.]
[Subtract another point if these flaws persist until your character's death]
[Subtract 2 points if these flaws get your character in serious trouble (they get themselves or another person killed, thrown in jail, etc.]

Can't determine the last two, mostly.

Winston: 15-2 (Really shy/struggles to communicate)
Rosa: 14-4 (Really hot-headed, and it got her a beating)
Bounce: 4-2 (Antisocial, incapable of decent conversation?)
Jessie: -1

*Does your character have a special birthmark or other marking? [+4 points]

- I don't agree, unless it's in an overly contrived shape or such.

Winston: 13
Rosa: 10
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -1

*Does your character have a physical flaw that does not actually detract from their beauty (e.g. too full lips, a scar, etc.)? [+2 points]

- I suppose. Depends where the scar is.

Winston: 13
Rosa: 10
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -1

[Subtract 1 point for all the following that applies to your character:
. He/she remains in a committed relationship for the full duration of the story.
. He/she does not learn from major mistakes.]

- Yeah.

Winston: 13
Rosa: 10
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -1-1 (Column A)

*Is your character described as "not understanding human emotions", "having no empathy for others", or something along those lines? [+10 points]

- For sure.

Winston: 13
Rosa: 10
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

Section IV: All Work and No Play Makes Johnny a Dull Boy

*Does your character have any particular skill at which he or she is among the best? [+1 point]
. Is your character widely known for this skill? [+1 point]

- Reasonable.

Winston: 13+1 (Presumably, singing)
Rosa: 10
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

*Is your character exceptionally good at something that most high school students have no practice in? (for example, said character is highly skilled at swordplay) [+2 points]

- More points.

Winston: 14
Rosa: 10
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

*Is your character in a band? (school-oriented groups such as jazz band and orchestra do not count) [+1 point]
. Is he/she the lead singer? [+1 point]
. Is the band good enough to go pro? [+2 points]

- Fair enough, possibly amend lead singer to frontman, which apparently isn't the same thing.

Winston: 14+2 (Blaaank Naaaation)
Rosa: 10
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

*Does your character have large amounts of disposable income? [+1 point]
. Despite the fact that they don't have a job? [+1 point]
. Despite the fact that their parents aren't well-to-do? [+2 points]

- This is fair enough.

Winston: 14+2 (Rich parents)
Rosa: 10+2 (Rich father. Yay)
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

[Subtract 2 points if your character held a job up until the time of their class trip and regularly attended it.]

- Unless it is a rather unlikely job.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

[Subtract 2 points if your character is repeatedly fired from and/or cannot keep a job because of incompetence.]

- Yep.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

Section V: Stay in School! School is Cool!

*Does your character often skip class or not come to school at all without facing any repercussions? [+3 points]
. [Only add 1 point if said character often gets in trouble for skipping class and/or skipping school.]

- Reasonable.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

*Is your character enrolled in classes that he/she would not (or should not) be taking? (e.g. your slacker character is enrolled in an A.P. Trig class) [+1 point]
. And does he or she do exceptionally well in this class? [+2 points]

- Unless they took it because they thought it would be easy.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2

*Is your character at the top of his or her class? [+2 points]

- Fair enough.

*Is your character on a sports team? (cheerleading counts) [+1 point]
. And is he or she a star player on that team? [+2 points]
. Is he or she the captain or co-captain [+2 points]
. Does he or she win a major game/competition/tournament for the team at any point? [+1 point]
* [Subtract 3 points if your character is on a sports team but never gets to play, is horrible, or serves as a benchwarmer or waterboy/girl.]

- I agree with all of this.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: -2+3 (Hockey. Star player)

[Subtract 1 point if your character maintains a stellar GPA because he or she takes easy (slack-off) classes.]

- I love this question, lol.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

Section VI: Your Character and You

*Is your character a mouthpiece for your views? [+2 points]

- Depends if they have the same views as you or not, and whether or not it's relevant.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

[Subtract 4 points if your character likes and/or befriends characters that you would not like to be friends with.]

- I don't agree. That's just RPing sense. Besides, what if it goes against their character or isn't logical?

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

*Does your character often bully, pick on, or attempt to humiliate characters that you do not like? [+2 points]

- Depends if they're a bully in general.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

[Subtract 4 points if your character often bullies or picks on characters that you personally enjoy.]

- Again, it's RPing sense, what if you character isn't the kind of person who would do that?

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

*Does your character share the same religious and spiritual views as you do? [+2 points]

- Depends if they're literally exactly the same, or just have the same religion.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

*Is your character described as an atheist that detests fundamentalists? [+5 points]
**Despite there not being many fundamentalists in the story? [+5 points]

- Shouldn't be worth so many points.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

[Subtract 3 points if your character's views are radically different from yours throughout the duration of the story.]

- I don't agree with this once again. I don't really see the relevance.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

*Does your character crush on characters that you would crush on in real life? [+1 point]

- Only if there's little logic to it.

Winston: 16
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

*Does your character possess skills or qualities you wish you had? [+1 point]

- Eh...

Winston: 16+1 (Dude, it would be awesome if I could sing, lol)
Rosa: 12
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1

*If your character were a real person, would you want to be friends with him or her? [+1 point]

- Um... well I guess it's only one point.

Bassically... only Bounce is a jerk.

Winston: 17+1
Rosa: 12+1
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 1+1

*Do you attempt to make your character the focal point of every storyline you enter? [+3 points]

- Agreed.

Winston: 18
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 2

*Do you feel that your character is more important than the other characters you roleplay with? [+1 point]

- I think you should do, to some extent, but only in that they're more important to you. But no, they shouldn't be worth more in general just cause they're yours.

Winston: 18
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 2

*And finally, if you've managed to endure this entire test and fairly add up and subtract all the possible points therein, subtract 1 point for your patience and will to expand your writing talents.

Bah. I don't need your charity!

Final:
Winston: 18
Rosa: 13
Bounce: 2
Jessie: 2

Nicholae Faust (Nicky)
Mysterious Od Guy
Apr 6 2009, 10:42 PM
Name:  Nicholae Faust. Prefers to be called Nick or Nicky.
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12
School: Bayview Secondary School. Previously, William Gardener.
Hobbies and Interests: Strategies, History, Hunter,Jujitsu. Tai-Chi.

Appearance: Nick stands a 6'4, a big person by any standards. His hair is a mop, and has not been cut in almost a year. The hair itself is a dark brown, shading towards a mahogany colour. His green eyes peer out from a constantly sleepy set of eyebrows, occasionally looking like his eyes are closed, but he is able to see perfectly well. His nose stands out among his face, broken a few times when he was young. His mouth is in proportion to the rest of him, which is to say it is large. His lips  are normal sized, and tend to thin when he thinks hard. He weighs 285 lbs, most of which are muscle, hidden underneath a thin layer of fat.
(This is still out of place, although the muscle/fat issue has been solved. It looks like an afterthought.)

Biography: Nicholae had a mildly disturbed child hood. His father was away working for a greater part of the beginning of his life.  He grew up with his mother. His mother originally loved his father, but over time came to hate him, not for any reason of his own, but simply because her family had a history of mental instability. Not enough to not function in society, but enough to affect some decisions.  As he began to look more and more like his father, and act more like him, his mother became abusive, physically and emotionally. Time passed, his father visiting from time to time to check up on them,and the abuse continued. Mostly in small things, like pinching him in the web between his fingers, stubbing his toes, slapping him when she felt like it, and beating him across the rear with a large wooden spoon whenever she felt he needed it. Depending on her mood, she also used a large leather belt.  However, he was big enough at the age of 7 for the physical abuse to decrease. as if he began to fight back, the fight would not be completely one-sided. Emotional abuse continued, however, usually in the form of discouraging him from succeeding, and constantly belittling him.. His father finally finished the greater part of his work, and came back, beginning to spend more time with his son, and his father became a refuge from his mother. They spent more and more time together, getting to know each other not just as father and son, but as friends. He began to take trips with his dad twice a year to hunt deer, he proved to be a decent shot, bring down his deer on the first trip. Albeit a bullet-ridden deer.
(From Megami: That said, nobody ever noticed the physical abuse? No neighbors, no friends, no relatives, nothing? Really?)

He went to school, and found out that he had an anger problem, due to his treatment by his mother. He got into fights with some of the bigger kids, and while he won more than he lost. After his first loss which left him lying in the dirt, staring up at a clouded sky he made a promise to himself, he would never lose in a fight if possible.... to anyone. Even if he had to bend the rules. The problems came to a head when he picked up a chair and  smashed another combatant on the head with it, dropping him instantly. He was taken in for psychiatric evaluation, and pills were recommended. He was expelled, and restricted from any public schools until he could pass a psychiatric test.  His mother was enthusiastic, but his rather [color=bluefather I assume color] firmly refused the pills. Pills, he believed, were no permanent help, and were only a crutch that would wear out with time, his boy needed to handle his problem head on. A compromise was reached, Nicky would take a calming martial art, to get rid of his anger problem, and still take the test when he felt ready, after a mandatory wait of seven years. (The first part of this paragraph doesn't really make sense: "He got into fights with some of the bigger kids, and while he won more than he lost." - this is a fragment and needs fixing).

From then on, Nicky home schooled. However, he still got into the occasional fight with other children. (As before, where?) He was always clumsy with words, and sometimes insulted people when he merely meant to be inoffensive. They both often went home with bruises. He found that he could use his anger to emotionally separate himself from the fight, almost taking a third person view. (Wait he's angry so that allows him to emotionally distance himself?)  This went on for seven years, Nicholae taking Tai-Chi, even after he was not required to do so. Nicholae did not really like to fight, but he enjoyed it. He found it very hard to understand. He knew he should hate the feeling of hurting someone else, but it was intoxicating. He tried to solve several problems with words, but it only escalated the tension, due to his poor use of words.  He took courses in History and repeatedly, and found he liked recreating the tactics and strategies that general had used. He began to try and view conversations like miniature battles, and while this assisted him, it did not fix the problem.

However, at the age of fourteen, his mother hit mid-life crisis and revealed that she had been sleeping with other men since the beginning of the marriage, and left. The abuse stopped. His father handled it well, and they moved to the Bayview area. Nicholae finally passed the psychiatric test, due to finally being free of his mother's abuse. ((How on earth did he pass his test if he was still frequently getting in fights with other kids? Even better, he was learning martial arts that were supposed to help calm him, and instead he was using them to beat the hell out of other kids. I'd say he's not over his anger issues. - Directly from Megami. He's been getting into this fights for years at this point, I find it hard to believe all those problems would go away at the one event of his mother leaving). But, still did not feel ready to interact with the other kids in school and took 10-11th grade online. He also began to take Jujitsu, since he was losing interest in Tai-Chi. He gradually worked his way up to blue belt.

He decided that this year, he was ready to go to school, and was accepted.
He earns C grades, mostly because he has many other pursuits.
He has a bit of a problem trying to make friends, as he does not have many social skills, often being insensitive and blunt. He is especially bad with women, preferring to stay away completely from them, and if this fails, he treats them a bit rudely in an attempt to get them to leave. He cracks jokes sometimes, bad jokes. He has a problem trying to talk to people, as he usually says the wrong thing, at the worst time. (Please deal with the random paragraph between the 'He decided' and 'He earns C grades' sections.)

Advantages: Is naturally strong, and abnormally quick for his size.  Good memory has helped him in the past, and continues to do so. He developed excellent hand-eye coordination, building on natural talent through martial arts. He can run at a fair speed, but by no means the fastest.  He can shoot fairly well, bringing down a deer in a few shots. He knows how to fight without harming people too much. Alas, he usually does not make use of this.

Disadvantages: Nicholae is fundamentally a good person, but is still flawed. He will try to get a non-violent solution to a problem, but finds that situations involving him usually devolve into violence. He also finds that it usually does not help to attempt to talk his way out of the situation, as it only worsens it, because he usually says the wrong thing. He will trust people at their word, unless he has prior experience not to, and does his best to keep promises, even if they will be detrimental to him. He sucks at making friends.  He is a bit of a misogynist, distrusting women from the experience with his mother.


I'm sorry, I was tired when I posted that and when I saw that some of the things weren't fixed yet, I assumed you hadn't changed anything yet.

Mafia
BRING! BRING!

The sound of the phone was not exactly one Mayor Clu was wishing to hear in the early hours of the morning, because in these times, it could only mean one thing. Maybe, if he ignored it hard enough, it would go away...

BRING! BRING!

Yes? No? Maybe?

BRING! BRING!

Dammit!

Reluctantly, Mayor Clu hauled himself out of bed and picked up the phone.

"This had better be very important. I was having that awesome dream where I'm a pirate ninja robot."

Clu was greeted with the hysterical voice of Inspector Eless in return, and the Mayor had to hold the handset back from his ear, wincing.

"Mr. Mayor! The force has been comprimised! Nobody is safe!"

"What the heck are you on about!?"

"One of my officers - landlocked was killed last night!"

"You mean the really irritating one who is always climbing on the pedastal in the town centre?"

"Exactly!"

"Ugh, I'll be right down... what happened to him?"

"He was shot in the back of the head, the forensics tell me it's possible he commited suicide then threw his gun across the room in spasm!"

"... I'll see you in a bit Eless..."

Mayor Clu hung up, then sighed, today was going to be another one of those days...

Dead: landlocked, a Cop of indeterminate nature (I'm not generous enough to tell you whether he was deadbeat or not)

Alive:
Zetta
choic
KillerVole
CJanosi
d0ddi0slave
Mitsuko2
Anderson
Yossarian
Killer_Moth
Parzel
SRJJJB

Pushing up the daisies:
Mimi, ordinary Citizen, stabbed Night 1
R-S-Lee, Mafia Goon, lynched day 2
landlocked, some kind of Cop, shot Night 2

I'm setting the deadline for four days time, meaning that you have up until the 27th (next Monday) at Midnight (EST) to come to a decision on who to kill.

With 11 alive, a lynch will need 6.