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| Grim's Guide for Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse; Can never be too careful! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 20 2009, 01:33 AM (346 Views) | |
| The_Grim_Reaper | Apr 20 2009, 01:33 AM Post #1 |
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Unregistered
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So, it looks like you're trying to survive a zombie apocalypse! Want me to help? No? TOO BAD. This guide consists of several parts: 1. Zombie? What's that? 2. Okay... How do I stop them? 3. Cool. What should I use to frag these chumps? 1. Zombie? What's that? I'm glad you asked, Timmy! A zombie (AKA the undead, walking dead, dead guys, stiffs, brain addicts, target practice) is a human or animal that has seemingly died, but continues to move around and seem to be controlled by a very archaic or simple brain. Zombies can be created through a variety of ways, such as curses, bacteria, viruses, parasites, or radiation. Now, the most important thing you should know about a zombie is its capability to spread the very thing that made it a zombie in the first place. So, zombies have a surprising ability increase their numbers at an alarming rate. 2. Okay, How do I stop them? Zombies may or may not have the ability to feel pain, and can often sustain significantly more damage and trauma than a normal human being, but their actions are still controlled by a brain. The best way to incapacitate or "kill" a zombie is to cease brain function or sever the brain from the rest of its body. However, if this tactic fails, the second best thing is to hinder/eliminate their processes of locomotion. A zombie crawling like an inch worm is much easier to get rid of than a stumbling/running one. 3. Cool. What should I use to frag these chumps? Weapons. Using your bare hands is a no-no, since you likely can't punch their heads off, and zombies often spread from close contact (exposure of corrupted tissue/fluids to open wounds through biting, spitting, etc.). Here are a list of weapons, and their pros/cons: Firearms: (pistols, rifles, shotguns, machine guns) Pros: Very effective in larger calibers, capable of dispatching zombies at range at a high rate of speed Cons: Sometimes ineffective at smaller calibers, requires ammo and knowledge of its use. May alert other zombies with sound Projectile Weapons: (bows, spear guns, slingshots) Pros: Quiet, ability to re-use ammunition, light weight Cons: Not as powerful, limited ammunition, some require strength and dexterity to use Blunt Objects: (debris, bats, poles, staffs, clubs) Pros: Simple use (smack, smack, repeat), easy to wield, no need to reload Cons: Effectiveness is directly related to strength and skill of user (you may just give it a black eye and a headache, at most), often requires multiple strikes to dispatch zombie Sharp Objects: (Spears, blades, spikes, chainsaws) Pros: Can be effectively used to immobilize or slay zombies with ease at close range, no need to reload Cons: Weight, unwieldy in tight spaces, puts you in danger zone for infection, fuel limits Vehicles: (Cars, trucks, motorcycles, helicopters, boats) Pros: Living quarters, protective cage, and zombie-crushing battering ram all rolled into 1! Devastating to most zombies, capable of carrying other survivors and supplies Cons: Fuel (being in a dead car = dead you), Terrain (recommend using sand/gravel to navigate on slippery, body-laden roads), size (your semi probably won't fit in your fallout shelter) Explosives: (TNT, Hand Grenades, mines, C4, Molotov Cocktails, Nitro) Pros: Capable of killing multiple zombies at once at range, good use for traps, capable of changing terrain (cave in possible zombie routes, create escape routes, etc.) Cons: Sometimes difficult to find/use, high danger involved if your fellow survivors are morons, one time usage ((Work In Progress)) |
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| Hiko | Apr 20 2009, 02:44 AM Post #2 |
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10/1/09, happy birthday 4chan
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See: World War Z Zombie Survival Guide (by Max Brooks) |
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| Aim | Apr 20 2009, 02:54 AM Post #3 |
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The Invisible Hand of Ecchi
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Posted Image |
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| The_Grim_Reaper | Apr 20 2009, 03:40 AM Post #4 |
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Unregistered
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hehehe... oops |
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| Goroke | Apr 20 2009, 04:01 AM Post #5 |
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I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE GUNCANNON, BRO!
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"Acceptance" Try to accept the situation as soon as possible. Though you may think zombies isn't real, they are real enough to be hungry for your flesh and brains. Quicker you accept your situation, quicker you can fortify your self from the undeads by: Stronger Barricade, More weapon stocks, More party companions who is yet to be infected, etc. "Acceptance" Part 2 This is possibly the toughest part about the Zombie Apocalypse, the infection. As you survive from the zombies, soon or later, someone will be infected. May it be a stranger, friends, or family, they will become your enemy. Many of you will obviously doubt the situation of someone who you knew will turn against you, but it's the truth. You must accept that they are lost cause and need to do the following.
"Acceptance" Part 3 Following part 2, we will shortly discuss about getting infected your self. You have been bitten, splattered, or some way, you have gotten yourself infected by the zombies. Keep in mind the previous part and try to think for everyone. You can either be selfish, dragging down your whole companion and possibly wipe all of them out. Or, you can just accept your fate as a dead man and let go of yourself. |
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| Howitzer | Apr 20 2009, 05:24 PM Post #6 |
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weooooooo
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WHY IS DEATH GIVING US TIPS ON HOW TO SURVIVE I DON'T LIKE THE LOOKS OF THIS |
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| Aim | Apr 20 2009, 05:30 PM Post #7 |
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The Invisible Hand of Ecchi
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I lol'd. |
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| Asator | Apr 20 2009, 06:26 PM Post #8 |
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*spin and victory pose*
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blood drops falling on my head~♪ |
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| Raigingekiexcel | Apr 20 2009, 10:16 PM Post #9 |
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You did WHAT to my coffee?!
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Job security. He can't reap us if the zombies get to us first. |
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