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Phant makes up stories about your future.
Topic Started: Tuesday 25-05-2010, 02:07 (2,093 Views)
Phazorn
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NOTHING
I tried reading Phant's future but it turns out my crystal ball was just cheap glass from Walmart and I'm so uninteresting I didn't catch it but this is what it told me about his past

[Phantasium]

Phantasium was always good at what he did, and a very caring individual. However, one fateful day he was working in a grocery store in Montana, a woman kept asking where the frozen peas were. He looked the woman straight in the eye and said "You know what lady, I can do better than this" and stormed out of there.

Phant soon landed a great job and met the love of his life. They settled in and started a life together. He was so successful and donated to many charities. Eventually his brilliance allowed him to find the cure for every disease ever. He was so happy he could save so many people he did not see the bus coming down the street and was hit and died in the road.

He was standing at the gates of Heaven awaiting judgement and St Peter said "I'm sorry I can't let you in for you see, the lady who just wanted frozen peas got lost in the store and died of starvation in a janitor's closet. You're going to hell"

In hell, Satan asked Phantasium "What's this, you're a nice person. Fuck off"

Phant was speechless. "I've always done my best but no one wants me"

Satan replied "Oh I want you, but you see, you can do good elsewhere, but I can't have that so you're going to Kansas goodbye"

Phant woke up with no memory of anything at all in a grocery store in Kansas. "What the fuck?"

A lady asked for frozen peas. Phant replied "You cocksucking bitch I hate you and I don't know why but I don't care either I feel like sending your fucking ass straight to hell"

Phant murdered her and used her blood to frost cakes, vowing to make everyone's life miserable and say fuck every sentence for the rest of eternity.

But everyone loved his cakes.

The end.
Edited by Phazorn, Friday 28-05-2010, 01:58.
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Alch
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Santa Saturns
XMFD

WTF PAHZONE
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Mr Whiskey Dick
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Magnificent Bastard
who is Sata?
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Phazorn
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Mr Whiskey Dick
Friday 28-05-2010, 01:58
who is Sata?
Whoops, thx.


You would know though
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Starwolf
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Your body and name belong to me now!
XFD @ Wolf's Voice.
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Mr Whiskey Dick
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Magnificent Bastard
Phazon
Friday 28-05-2010, 01:59
Mr Whiskey Dick
Friday 28-05-2010, 01:58
who is Sata?
Whoops, thx.


You would know though
if anyone would catch a botched reference to the Morningstar, it would be me.
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RikusSexSlave
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Fuckin Hadoken
Phazon
Friday 28-05-2010, 01:38
Phant soon landed a great job and met the love of his life. They settled in and started a life together. He was so successful and donated to many charities. Eventually his brilliance allowed him to find the cure for every disease ever. He was so happy he could save so many people he did not see the bus coming down the street and was hit and died in the road.
I read that paragraph as a description of the love of Phant's life. I could see I'm wrong now, but that's the way I'm keeping it in my head.
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Adam
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Proto Fal'Cie
It's funny because the people in Britain just think my "Bloody Cakes" are an exclamation.
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Phazorn
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It could be meant in that way too I could be a literary genius
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Wakapanda Of Doom
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ONE OF THE ORIGINAL FUCKS
lol @ Phant's future.

>_>
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Alch
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Santa Saturns
Mr Whiskey Dick
Friday 28-05-2010, 01:58
who is Sata?
You don't know this? Clearly a way to connect internal devices to your computer. They are most commonly known to be capable of transferring data at 3.0 Gbps, but are now capable of transferring data at 6.0 Gbps.
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Phazorn
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Shit just got real
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Wakapanda Of Doom
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ONE OF THE ORIGINAL FUCKS
Shit was real.
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Phazorn
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NOTHING
Real shit all up in this bitch
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Phazorn
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Real like you would not believe
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Mr Whiskey Dick
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Alch
Friday 28-05-2010, 02:39
Mr Whiskey Dick
Friday 28-05-2010, 01:58
who is Sata?
You don't know this? Clearly a way to connect internal devices to your computer. They are most commonly known to be capable of transferring data at 3.0 Gbps, but are now capable of transferring data at 6.0 Gbps.
you fucking nerd...i was pointing out a typo that Phaze made, which he then fixed.
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Phazorn
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Whiskey he was joking calm down holy fuck not the knife SERENITY NOW WHISKEY CAN YOU FEEL IT

SERENITY NOW

Let the hate out buddy come on

Give me a hug it's okay
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Mr Whiskey Dick
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Phazon
Friday 28-05-2010, 03:28
Whiskey he was joking calm down holy fuck not the knife SERENITY NOW WHISKEY CAN YOU FEEL IT

SERENITY NOW

Let the hate out buddy come on

Give me a hug it's okay
sorry, i'm a little on edge right now...
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Phazorn
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NOTHING
I've been weird and on edge all night
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Wakapanda Of Doom
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ONE OF THE ORIGINAL FUCKS
please jump. now.
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