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Phant makes up stories about your future.
Topic Started: Tuesday 25-05-2010, 02:07 (2,094 Views)
Adam
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Proto Fal'Cie
I haven't actually been listening to Phazon's recordings.

Screw you too, buddy...>_>
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Adam
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Proto Fal'Cie
[Starwolf]

Starwolf is the archnemesis of Star Fox in the Nintendo series of the...

CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT, STAR FOX!

The fuck? I'm the narrator. You don't tell me what I'm going to...

YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME, DO YOU?

Nope, not at all.

FUCK THIS, MAN, FUCK THIS.

Would it help if I said I didn't even know that much about Star Fox..

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT STAR FOX?

I never played the N64 one, and that seems to be the most popular...

WHY THE FUCK NOT?

I didn't have an N64 back in the day and when I got one it sucked ass.

YOU SUCK ASS.

Yeah, then why'd you ask me about your future?

SO I COULD ADVERTISE ABOUT HOW IN THE FUTURE, I KILL YOUR PUNK ASS FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ON STAR FOX, AND HOW THAT ABRUPTLY BRINGS THE END OF THE WORLD BECAUSE YOU ARE THE NON-MIGHTY NARRATOR WHO ONLY HOLDS POWER IN YOUR OWN SELF AND HOW YOU HAVE SHIT GRAMMAR WHEN YOU DON'T NOT CARE ABOUT IT AND THE FUCK DID YOU GIVE ME A DOUBLE NEGATIVE FOR BICH THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SPEL WHAR'D MY PERODS GU#$#$#$

Star Wolf eventually dies when a giant pencil falls on his back as if to erase him but really it's just a VERY big pencil.


[Omgarm]

Long after being forced out of the Netherlands because of Russia's new nuclear stockpile, Garm opens a shop in Spain that sells stupid little curios. Of course, his business does quite well because people in Spain live in smelly little huts and like buying stupid crap. I mean, so does everywhere else by this point, but this is what Spain is known for. Anyway, one day somebody sells Garm a monkey paw that has its middle finger up as if it is flipping off the world. Remembering the old tales of how there was a monkey paw that would give you flawed wishes, Garm never tried anything funny with it and leaves it in the back of his shop, and doesn't try any wishes nor does he try to sell it to anyone else.

Years later on his deathbed he casually dismisses a "Fuck it" and wishes that he wasn't dying. Amazingly he gets his wish, and goes back to live in his shop. He lives another forty years and notices that the monkey paw's middle finger never went down. So another "Fuck it" is uttered when he wishes on his second death bed not to die. He gets his wish yet again.

Now he's worried. The finger doesn't go down again. On his third deathbed he doesn't wish for anything. He's lived long enough, so what the hell. But he doesn't die. He is revived as if he had wished anyway, and suddenly he has a sneaking desire to leave smelly old Spain.

BUT HE CAN'T.

Garm is doomed to live eternally in smelly old Spain drinking crappy, irradiated water and never dying. The man who sold it to him would later be revealed to be Korr, and then he knew why the monkey paw never stopped flipping him the bird. Because he was fucked.
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Mr Whiskey Dick
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Magnificent Bastard
A+ on mine.

:XD:
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Omgarm
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Troetelbeertje
My future sucks ;_;

I will read/listen to the others tonight. /busy on a slow computer
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Phazorn
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NOTHING
Will read more futures when I get home from work
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Phazorn
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NOTHING
Phantasium
Wednesday 26-05-2010, 04:32
I haven't actually been listening to Phazon's recordings.

Screw you too, buddy...>_>
;_____;

This one's crap quality so you can listen Phant

http://www.zshare.net/audio/76549332aa7f9e5d/
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Adam
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Proto Fal'Cie
That's not what I meant.

You were mean to me about my Grammar and the general lack of sense in another story.

;_;
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Choco
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YEE-HAW!
Needs moar Choco.

*jumps in line*
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Phazorn
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NOTHING
Starwolf - http://www.zshare.net/audio/765502173a84f940/
Garm - http://www.zshare.net/audio/76550242dda17f6f/
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Phazorn
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NOTHING
Phantasium
Wednesday 26-05-2010, 19:37
That's not what I meant.

You were mean to me about my Grammar and the general lack of sense in another story.

;_;
Oh I figured but I wanted to clarify anyway

Keep up teh stuff man
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Phazorn
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NOTHING
Alternate Garm/Choco future - http://www.zshare.net/audio/765505208dce9843/
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Omgarm
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Troetelbeertje
The alternate future is awesome.

So awesome my mind exploded.
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Omgarm
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Troetelbeertje
And I only said my future sucks because I live in Spain, not because I don't appreciate Phant predicting it.
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`roboteectoast
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ALL IRONS IRON IRON !
IN-SAY-SAY-AYYYNEEE
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Adam
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Proto Fal'Cie
[8bit]

Blues brothers. That IS you, right? I always get everyone's real life friends mixed up. Wait, I mean, 8bit is later the foil of a comedic duo that is kind of like the blue man group except not like them at all but in one point, in which he is painted to be black.

He's not black, right? I mean, it's not like I fucking know at this point, everyone was black for a minute and now nobody knows whose bike goes to who now.

Anyway, whether or not he was black to begin with he is still painted black and despite the relative hilarity of his 8 comedic bits, his partner later absconds with the money he would have made in one particular comedy club and would have gotten away with it if not for the fact that 8bit possibly isn't not white but painted black so something about affirmative action giving him another job.

Look, he becomes a comedian, alright. Not many ways to spice it up, aside from syndicating it and calling it the show about nothing, except all black people have for sitcoms is that Tyler Perry shit and then that one Wayans' brothers comedy that comes on late at night and isn't half bad except they all act fairly white for the cameras which is alright I suppose if they actually act like that but since it's actors portraying a fake family who the fuck knows by that point, right?


[Ohjoy]


So, Ohjoy buys a dog one day, except it's not like most dogs that you would buy in a store. It's a magic dog. It flies kites when no one is looking and smokes weed, and I'm not talking about the actual drug, this fucking dog rolls up dandelions and puffs up until the seeds fly off.

So one day the ASPCA comes to Ohjoys house trying to figure out if there is, in fact, a fucking magic dog in his house, because little do people realize that PeTA and the ASPCA are all magicians who have been fighting for eons under different names each with a magic animal. Magic dogs are the rarest, and their battle prowess with kites is amazing.

Of course Ohjoy knows all about his magic dog and flies off with Scooter into the sunset, raining down flaming dandelion seeds on his enemies. They fly to Mexico and fight vampires until Ohjoy loses Scooter in the Battle of Bloodbats and lives in a sad seclusion for the rest of his life.

"RIP Scooter. Ye hardly flew me."
~A kite.


[MLWW]

MLWW is crushed one day when he discovers he is actually four pitifully tiny midgets hiding in a man costume, and I mean that literally as well as figuratively because he was trying to hold up an elephant for some reason (honestly no clue why). The midgets always argue on the most stupid of things.

The first one is Marry-o, who thinks his name is stupid or wrong and likes to get torn up on mushrooms. Then there's Lugia, who isn't really named that but he likes to play Pokemon when he gets torn up on mushrooms. And then there's the shadow of both of them, who they think are two midgets so in reality MLWW is just two midgets high on shrooms most of the time.

Despite that he/they run a series of succesful cons on several people, one of which involves getting everyone torn up on mushrooms so they can reenact scenes from movies that involve them stealing everyone's mushrooms. One track mind(s), really.

Eventually they make a flash game of what they do when they're torn up on shrooms, and all shroom heads find it so accurate to how they feel on shrooms that they sell all their stuff to MLWW and that was how Egypt got turned into a shroom factory.

I assure you, I am not high.
Edited by Adam, Thursday 27-05-2010, 06:21.
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8bit!
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I left my computer on.
WHAT?! im soooo confused after reading mine. i went "henh?" more than once.
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TacoOfTheOpera
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The Baby Eater
i want one
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OHJOY90
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C4 Layer
Phant
 
[Ohjoy]


So, Ohjoy buys a dog one day, except it's not like most dogs that you would buy in a store. It's a magic dog. It flies kites when no one is looking and smokes weed, and I'm not talking about the actual drug, this fucking dog rolls up dandelions and puffs up until the seeds fly off.

So one day the ASPCA comes to Ohjoys house trying to figure out if there is, in fact, a fucking magic dog in his house, because little do people realize that PeTA and the ASPCA are all magicians who have been fighting for eons under different names each with a magic animal. Magic dogs are the rarest, and their battle prowess with kites is amazing.

Of course Ohjoy knows all about his magic dog and flies off with Scooter into the sunset, raining down flaming dandelion seeds on his enemies. They fly to Mexico and fight vampires until Ohjoy loses Scooter in the Battle of Bloodbats and lives in a sad seclusion for the rest of his life.

"RIP Scooter. Ye hardly flew me."
~A kite.
Awesome story Phant.
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Alch
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Santa Saturns
Wicker Weasel's was fantastic.
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Phazorn
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NOTHING
No reading today, I'm dead fucking tired
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