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So... I'm my school's valedictorian.
Topic Started: Friday 14-05-2010, 16:19 (838 Views)
Vespis
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"Yahaa!"
ages
Sunday 16-05-2010, 19:07
Yeah, but I was under the impression it's gotta be longer than that. For English 101, the valedictory essay assignment was five pages. Of course, I made it WAAAAAAAY too personal and there's no way I can reuse it, though. ;_;
Well all you need to do is say what you gotta say. Ask a favoured English teacher if necessary.
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knives
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Happy 5 Space Cowboy
Do the typical bullshit like
"We ALL worked hard to be here"
"YOU guys are making a difference in the world"
"If you see another of your class mates in trouble HELP THEM OUT"
"We are closer than we all think"

BS like that.
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Raven
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317
Sunday 16-05-2010, 17:58
@ raven: your bluffing, you don't know what im talking about.
Says you. You have no idea what I know!
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Vespis
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"Yahaa!"
knives
Sunday 16-05-2010, 19:55
Do the typical bullshit like
"We ALL worked hard to be here"
"YOU guys are making a difference in the world"
"If you see another of your class mates in trouble HELP THEM OUT"
"We are closer than we all think"

BS like that.
This. This so hard. Use every one of those sentences.
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317
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Blue Falcon
Raven
Sunday 16-05-2010, 20:00
317
Sunday 16-05-2010, 17:58
@ raven: your bluffing, you don't know what im talking about.
Says you. You have no idea what I know!
i called your bluff and you folded. don't try and say it was otherwise, i checked.
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knives
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Happy 5 Space Cowboy
Silver_Schlong
Sunday 16-05-2010, 20:05
knives
Sunday 16-05-2010, 19:55
Do the typical bullshit like
"We ALL worked hard to be here"
"YOU guys are making a difference in the world"
"If you see another of your class mates in trouble HELP THEM OUT"
"We are closer than we all think"

BS like that.
This. This so hard. Use every one of those sentences.
Funny story.
Even though I declined being the Valedictorian, those fuckers still had the audacity to have me write the thing because I was the best writer in the school.
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Raven
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My account has changed a few times over these past few months, there is no telling what I saw!
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317
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Blue Falcon
Raven
Sunday 16-05-2010, 20:18
My account has changed a few times over these past few months, there is no telling what I saw!
oh how cute, you don't even begin to know where to look.
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Raven
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Swirly Badass
~>__>~
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Fermicelli
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Italian delight
ages
Sunday 16-05-2010, 17:55
halp writing valedictorian speech
"Dear classmates,

As I stand here before you today, it saddens me to know that this will be the last time we shall see each other as a group. However, the same fact provides me with a source of satisfaction as well. You see, twenty years ago an alien race called the 'Feznary' came to this part of the planet hoping to overtake it. They changed the genetic code of our parents and then erased their memories, ensuring that a mixed breed of half-humans, half-Feznary would be born. But the Feznary made one big mistake, their strategy for overtaking the planet only works if multiple generations of affected half-breeds mate with each other. Only then can a genuine full-breed Feznary be created. So as I stand before you today, I beg of you to go out and explore the world and marry someone from the other side of the country. Or even better, someone from a different continent altogether. The power to repel the Feznary lies in your hands, as your Valedictorian I command you to help save the world.

Thank you for your time."

Seriously, Ages, you should consider going out in a burst of dadaïstic glory. What are they going to do once you have that microphone in your hand? Give you detention or call your parents? This is one of the last chances you have at having some inconsequential fun.
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Alch
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Santa Saturns
If I were ages, I would do something like TW said. It's the perfect time to basically tell everyone from school to fuck off.
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FraN
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Chaotic Carnival
"Dear classmates,
I can only say that if you let me be in this position, you all must suck too hard."
:face:
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ages
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Obsessive Enthusiast
Quote:
 
Well all you need to do is say what you gotta say. Ask a favoured English teacher if necessary.


It's due on tuesday. ;_;

Quote:
 
If I were ages, I would do something like TW said. It's the perfect time to basically tell everyone from school to fuck off.


They'll check it before I go up there XD

Plus, you know, the people that are giving me 3000 bucks a year will be watching.. >_>
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Alch
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Santa Saturns
That second reason is a good reason to not do what TW said.

Also, just have a folded up piece of paper with your REAL speech tucked somewhere in your robe. THEN give that one.
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Fermicelli
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Italian delight
ages
Sunday 16-05-2010, 21:47
They'll check it before I go up there XD
Sure, they'll check on the speech they think you'll be holding. Not on the one you're actually going to hold.

If you do care about the money then perhaps have a normal speech under less than normal conditions. Wear a kilt or something like that and never explain your choice of clothing.
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ages
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Also, random, but LOLOLO PROM PIC

http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs551.snc3/30141_1129638056931_1706630554_245934_7289769_n.jpg

HAPPY YET IM317
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ages
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Obsessive Enthusiast
Quote:
 

If you do care about the money then perhaps have a normal speech under less than normal conditions. Wear a kilt or something like that and never explain your choice of clothing.


I do think I would be crossbow'd by my guidance counselor the moment she saw me without my cap and gown on. ;_;
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Alch
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Santa Saturns
You're boring ages. I hate you ;-;
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ages
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Obsessive Enthusiast
You're gay alch. I feel sexually aroused around you ;-;

owate
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Fermicelli
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Italian delight
ages
Sunday 16-05-2010, 21:58
Quote:
 

If you do care about the money then perhaps have a normal speech under less than normal conditions. Wear a kilt or something like that and never explain your choice of clothing.


I do think I would be crossbow'd by my guidance counselor the moment she saw me without my cap and gown on. ;_;
Nothing says 'unusual condition' more than stripping naked during your oration. I don't know. Someone else come up with something creative. I'm tired.
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