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| there was a mess wherever you stepped; tripp acquires a present | ||||
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| Topic Started: Feb 27 2014, 04:42 PM (114 Views) | ||||
| boris | Feb 27 2014, 04:42 PM Post #1 | |||
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Pidgey
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Spoiler: click to toggle
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Tripp Ryder APL: 10.0 $$: 200 : 266
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| boris | Feb 27 2014, 04:44 PM Post #2 | |||
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Pidgey
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It was almost definitely a bad idea. But how many times had he assessed the risks of a heist and decided to complete it anyway? This was one of those times. He rarely, if ever, talked himself out of a plan and he wasn't about to start now. From a recent run-in with a landfill, Tripp's right foot had been strung up for a week or two, healing in the hospital. But now, on his first day out of the pen, he'd gotten a walking cast and could now limp around wherever he needed to go. He'd managed to get all the way to Escennia before stopping and realizing that he needed to increase his funds. He pushed a hand through his unruly hair; he had really let himself go after being cooped up and unable to lie for more than a few days. His sense of adventure was starting to falter; his identity was becoming a mystery to himself as he, ironically, went through the motions of telling his real name and creating actual records of his existence somewhere. Tripp wondered when was the last time he had stolen a pokemon? It used to be on a list of hobbies on his resume: Stealing companions and selling them for profit. But the last memory he had of taking a pokemon against its will had been two months ago, when he convinced a trainer that he was going to make his Vileplume a star. She'd made quite a profit that day, being sold off to some drug manufacturer who as harvesting a mass amount of the evolution line for their "Sleep Powder". Tripp had tried some of the product. Wasn't impressed. He currently sat in the back of a cafe, his seersucker shorts and sweater vest blending in perfectly with the well-dressed aristocrats enjoying their Sunday afternoon. Men chortled over glasses of scotch, women tittered over their tea, children played with their shiny companions. Tripp's thin lips twisted into a grin, his fingers drumming on the table. The waiter brought over a tall glass of expensive beer, something that Tripp had no intention of paying for. He was bold - with distinguishing factors such as his walking cast, his newly acquired Trubbish perched on his shoulder, his shiny red hair freshly shaved on the sides. Here he was, planning the acquisition of a present. He licked his lips as he hungrily gulped down a portion of his beer, placing the glass back on the table. He nodded his head an extravagant fish tank, stretched as a layer between the inside of the cafe and the outside patio. Customers lounged in the sun, the stained glass patio softly reflecting colored light onto the tanned feet of the patrons. This also meant that there was a certain amount of heat just lingering on the patio but the owners had thought of everything. Not only did each table have it's own fan blowing from inside the umbrella stretched out over the table, there was also a tiny sliding door directly underneath the tables which could be slid back to reveal a very small amount of water, a square just big enough to dunk your feet in should the fancy strike you. Many of the children wasting time at this cafe had begged their parents to jump into the fascinating disappearing pools but they had been warned on never to swim outside of their private lakes for fear of things like "bacteria" and "foregone earnings", things that never bother a child yet they are forced to consent. The giant fish tank was transparent, with three occupants floating through the crystalline water. Tripp's eyes scanned the tank, spotting only two pokemon being shown off. A shiny Octillery suctioned his way across the glass, bulbous eyes glaring out at his masters as he defiantly (and vulgarly) pressed a tentacle to the window and began to wiggle it, startling a group of housewives. On the other side of the tank, a massive sea-green creature lay on a flat rock, feebly pinching at an amoeba with dead eyes. The Kingler poked at it a few times, rolling his eyes conspiratorially to an unseen peer when an old man began to poke at the glass, his rosy cheeks inflating with delight when the Kingler unfolded his spindly legs to stretch up and slam his lesser claw against the glass where the old man's face was squished against. The force knocked the customer back who gave an indignant "harrumph" and stumbled off in search of more suppressed feelings. Tripp watched these exchanges with amusement, already on his third beer. He noticed a third occupant of the tank and a sneaking smile spread across his face. Normally, he would be more interested in stealing some of the money from the dedicated patrons of Delcatty's Delicacies (who only had enough money to sell out to become a corporation when a certain leader of a certain company began to frequent the cafe and make sales skyrocket). His attention was now elsewhere as he observed a golden figure emerge from some obstructed part of the tank to scoot forward, blank eyes staring through the wall. She was thin and gorgeous, her golden scales glittering in the artificial light of the tank, her gaping mouth glub-glubbing the filtered water as her tail flicked through the minimal current. She looked to be made from solid gold, with the way she was a'glitterin' and a'shinin'. Tripp knew someone who would enjoy this Magikarp far more than the greedy owners of this cafe. He tickled his Trubbish under the chin and she gave a quiet gurgle, leaning into his finger. How exactly did he plan to sneak a Shiny Magikarp from Delcatty's Delicacies without being spotted or punished? He would need to think about it. Time was running out, though. The waiter approached with his check, irked that this petulant redhead had sat and gobbled down more beer without any mindless chatter and only offering a rude snapping motion at his empty drink when the waiter's attention was required. Tripp took the receipt without a word, his eyes scanning over the three digit quantity of zenni it required to provide him with seven lackluster glasses of beer. Adequately buzzed, he gave a rude belch and stood to his feet, using the cast to propel himself taller so he could stretch out his back. He stumbled slightly, almost knocking loose the umbrella screwed into the table as he prepared to pull his wallet out. The foot bath underneath his table (which he had conveniently slid open with his good foot when he stumbled) was open and splashing around as it swallowed up his wallet. Tripp summoned a flush to his face and he stomped his cast on the ground. "What the hell is this?" He demanded, pointing a skinny finger at the wallet which now began to sink to the bottom of the mini-pool. "Sir, those are the complimentary foot baths we provide for our customers should they find the heat reflecting from our patio too harsh and wish to cool their feet." "That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard today! Do you sanitize these foot baths? What kind of bacteria could be festering in there since the last customer? Why isn't there a locking mechanism on these for the customers who do not wish to partake?" Tripp's voice steadily got louder. "I demand to see your manager." "I'll fetch her right away sir." The waiter bowed his way out, scurrying over to the registers inside to consult with a very stern looking woman. After some chat, they both came outside and the woman folded her arms over her generous chest, regarding Tripp with a sceptical eye. "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "Your genius plan for making more money has swallowed my billfold." "Have you tried fishing it out?" Tripp rose his eyebrows. "In a source of water that I do not know nor do I know when the last time it was cleaned? In a blatant violation of Escennia Ordinance 68, which documents that all man-made water sources must have a descriptor of salinity, water content, and all previously known pokemon to reside in at after a citizen fell into a government authorized man-made oasis and promptly fell ill to a flesh-eating disease which scoured away at his skin resulting in a lawsuit against the government in which he won, need I remind you, 500,000 to cover medical expenses?"The woman's face turned red, which was all Tripp needed. 'I'll have my lawyer draft up some papers to send over to your office." He pulled his sunglasses down over his face and pulled out his cell phone, looking at her over the glasses. "What's your fax number?" Her face screwed up into a very ugly position and she shuffled forward slightly. "What can I do to make this go away, Mr...?" "Lithgow. I am apalled at your suggestion Ms, " He paused to inspect her official name tag, spitting the rest of her name with disdain. "Stacey Jernigan. Are you suggesting that I can be bought off from a serious lawsuit that nearly threatened my livelihood? You think money could replace the wallet my grandfather gave to me?" He gave her a hard stare which made her ears turn pink. "No sir, I wasn't trying to imply that at all. I was simply asking if there was a way we could settle this matter in private, away from..." He cut her off, saving her from the embarrassment of explaining her predicament in front of now-eager onlookers. "I am, however, an avid fish collector. I found this darling thrashing away in a sewer as a hoard of Barboach attempted to sap away at her life source." He motioned to the Trubbish on his shoulder who was trying her best to look intimidating. "Since her near-death experience, I have sought out menacing pokemon all across the world to stake and put up on the wall of my collection, my white whales. And you, my dear, have a white whale that I might be interested in." He pointed at the shiny Magikarp who had begun to swim in circles around the Octillery, glub-glubbing away as she increased her speed. She began sputtering as she (and the onlookers) whipped her neck around to regard the shiny pokemon. "But that pokemon is worth thousands of zenni! She is a priceless addition to our collection!" Tripp began shaking his head, slowly crossing his arms across his chest. "Then I suppose you have a lawsuit on your hands." He began to walk toward the fish tank, the pokemon floating over to the wall to look at their new observer. His eyes danced over the captive pokemon and, knowing that he had almost hooked in his prey, he felt an overwhelming urge to free the rest of them from their captivity. This feeling consumed him so much that he almost lost sight of his plan, eyes glued to their desperation as they tapped at the glass. The Kingler looked defeated, his powerful pincer taped closed so he couldn't murder his tankmates. "Change of plans." Tripp said suddenly, spinning around to face the woman who had come up toward him. The waiter sheepishly offer Tripp his forgotten wallet, water dripping on the ground. Tripp's signature sneer returned to his face as his Trubbish, sensing his elevated heartbeat, began to hop up and down. With a loud cry, he swung his puny fist against the massive aquarium, slapping at the glass with his open hand until he couldn't feel it anymore. His eyes locked with the Kingler just before the Octillery let out a nervous ink, clouding the entire tank. Tripp extracted a Premier ball from his belt as the people around him began to stand from their seats, confused in the sudden change of events. The manager began to reach for her walkie-talkie to radio for security to stop munching Shellder in the back room when there was a large crack and a splinter appeared on the side of the muddy glass. There was a frightening silence as all held their breath, wondering if the tank would hold. With a might crash, a green claw emerged from the crack and water wooshed over all in the near vicinity, including Tripp. He was thrown to the wall surrounding the patio along with others - the unlucky went headfirst, crashing against the wall and killing them instantly from the force. Luckier ones went right over the wall and into the grass, removing them from the action. Tripp was in the latter group, making his recovery time considerably quicker than those who was shakily pulling themselves up. Even those people didn't have much time to process what was happening because the Kingler was now on a rampage, bubbles foaming from his mouth as he swung his pincers at anyone he could reach. Hopping over the wall, Tripp strode confidently to the thrashing Kingler to stand in front of him. As the pokemon swung for a devastating blow, Tripp pulled his pocket knife out and sliced away the tape restricting Kingler's claw. With a chilling screech, the Kingler shoved past Tripp to enact his rage on his captors. Tripp lost track of Hemlock as the pokemon bounced around the wreckage, gassing every person she came in contact with to put the witnesses in disgusting semi-comas. Tripp strode past the Octillery attempting to eat a young girl's shiny Espurr to the flopping Magikarp. He absorbed the pokemon into his Premier Ball just as Hemlock returned to his side, his re-soaked wallet in her bag hands. With a smile, he picked up the baby and tucked her into his neck and strode off from the scene of the crime, Valentines' gift tucked in his pocket. |
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Tripp Ryder APL: 10.0 $$: 200 : 266
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| Maverick | Mar 2 2014, 08:46 AM Post #3 | |||
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"How many assholes we got on this ship anyhow?"
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This needed to be posted in the FF directory - kinda got overlooked. Sorry. Absolutely wonderful. I found ONE thing in the entire piece - you typed might instead of mighty. I'm not even going to go through the entire rigmarole with you, not when your writing is superior to mine. Believable? (5) To the point of being realistic. One would think pokemon was a perfectly normal everyday thing. I was convinced Tripp would walk off with the fish without a hitch. Creativity? (5) You have a way of letting people into Tripp's world that lets us see through his eyes. I envy you sir! More so, the twist at the end, where Tripp throws his scam to the wind and causes complete chaos instead was both surprising and pleasing. Grammar? (4) Don't make me laugh. I saw the one typo, but nothing else. You have a solid sense of structure, and formatting that surpasses my own so nitpicking here is pointless. What makes your writing stand out though, is your ability to weave an interesting sentence. I'll pick out something at random..."He nodded his head an extravagant fish tank, stretched as a layer between the inside of the cafe and the outside patio." Not impressive you say? I beg to differ. So few people take the time to paint the picture, and the picture sets the reader in the story. I could use some lessons from you! I give you a well deserved 80LP and 1 shiny magikarp, level 5 or MPL - whichever is higher. |
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| boris | Mar 13 2014, 02:15 PM Post #4 | |||
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Pidgey
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I think I should give you 4 LP for your mod! (sorry this took me so long, i forgot that mods get LP too) thank youuu | |||
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Tripp Ryder APL: 10.0 $$: 200 : 266
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6:52 PM Jul 10
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spent: 30 for Magikarp





to cover medical expenses?"



6:52 PM Jul 10