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dawn
Topic Started: Jan 20 2014, 01:34 PM (285 Views)
Jin White
Member Avatar
existential mage
...stumbling off the Magnet Train, a little shaken, but bright-eyed. Making Kevin Baconville home for the next few months.

- x -

Collecting Giftmas presents; Mohsen the gyarados no longer knows Outrage. In its place, he learns Earthquake.

Giving Mohsen the gyarados his Gyaradosite.

Spending 20 :lp for 2,000 :bling and picking up HONEDGE from the adoption hall

Spending 10 :lp to level up Honedge -> he evolves into a sexy doublade.

Spending 100 :lp on Rotom-H to bring him from 50 to 60.

Jin acquires a glowing purple rock from a wonderful stranger. He touches the rock to the sword. Doublade evolves into aegislash.

Spending 90 :lp on Larvesta to bring him from 51 to 60; larvesta evolves into a sexy Volcarona.

Teaching Aegislash TM: Shadow Ball

Spending 72 :lp on Abdel Aziz the Breloom to bring him from 52 [ 1.4 :exp ] to my current cap at level 60

Spending 50 :lp on TM: Rock Tomb and teaching it to Abdel Aziz.

Spending 30 :lp on TM: Hidden Power and teaching it to Volcarona. It's Hidden Power ROCK.

Spending 50 :lp on TM: Roost and teaching it to Volcarona.

Spending 50 :lp on TM: Trick Room and teaching it to Reuniclus

Shuttling back to Ashdell; obtaining one Furnace Badge. 'Porting into Lorenzo for a moment and coming back.

Spending 20 :lp on Outrage (Egg Move) for Duke II the Kingdra

Spending 20 :lp for Destiny Bond (Egg Move) for Aegislash

Spending 40 :lp for 4 levels on Aegislash [51 -> 55]

Spending 20 :lp for 2 levels on Kingdra [53 -> 55]

Spending 10 :lp for 1 level on Reuniclus [52 -> 53]

Spending 10 :lp for 1 level on Drilbur; she evolves into a sexy Excadrill ! [60 -> 61]

Spending 50 :lp on TM Giga Drain for Volcarona

Spending 10 :lp on 1,000 :bling to buy a focus sash from the mall

Teleporting to Aridair Outpost & fighting an NPC & then teleporting back.

Spending 80 :lp on Sand Rush & Sand Force abilities for Excadrill.

Spending 130 :lp for 13 levels on Gible; he evolves into a sexy Garchomp ! [50 -> 63]

Spending 100 :lp on TM Stealth Rock & TM Dragon Tail for Garchomp.

Spending 200 :bling on a rocky helmet for Garchomp

Spending 20 :lp on a 2,000 :bling to buy another focus sash & a spell tag.

Spending 50 :lp for 5 levels on Aegislash [55 -> 60]

Collecting a Common Badge.

Spending 40 :lp for 4 levels on Excadrill [62 -> 66]

Spending 10,000 :bling on TM Fire Blast for Garchomp

= 1,072 :lp & 10,200 :bling spent

- x -

Things to Do:

* The Naming: Volcarona, Aegislash, Reuniclus, and meeting John Galt the Rotom
* The Evolving: Volcarona, Stone evolving Aegislash, Mega evolving Gyarados
* The Challenging of the Ashdell Kevin Baconville Gym and the Obtaining of a Badge
* The Meeting of the Berry King?
* The Spending of 130 LP
Edited by Jin White, May 30 2014, 10:15 AM.
i used to be shy. now i'm reserved.

who the #!@% is j i n w h i t e
character level: 26
{ home base }
43 :lp
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Jin White
Member Avatar
existential mage
When I got here, I didn't have anything.

I'm older now - it's been six months - and I don't know what I've gained. I have to convince myself that I've made progress...

...whatever progress means...

...because I want to pretend that these badges I've won are more than trinkets of an institution bent on keeping me distracted and keeping me complacent. I remember once, a long time ago, my father was lecturing me about my attitude. "What is it that you're rebelling against?" he asked me, with a certain fixed level of disdain and a certain fixed level of concern. I guess he meant to ask why I never did my homework for school, why I couldn't keep up with my daily prayers, why I was the most sullen and difficult child a loving father could have asked for.

I don't know.

I've been drinking a lot, again. Coffee, mostly, but whiskey too. It's a little absurd: I spend so much time telling people - the few friends I've scored - about my rampant alcoholism, and as I tell them I pour myself another highball. "Yes, yes, it's much different now -" I insist, ordering my second drink, "the desire just isn't the same as it used to be. I'm much more aware now. I don't need it the way I used to." The second drink inevitably makes me want a third, because I never feel the second one. It's always drained much too soon.

I've decided that the only thing in life worth having are friends. I make friends like brothers, but my brothers always leave. I can't stay in one place long enough to consistently keep a person in my life - to stay updated on the little details, to really, actually be there - even though I always love them more than I love myself. I think of all the real friends I've made, in this life and in the past, and I think of how completely I love these guys, and how I'm nowhere near them today. I also know well that part of my... individuality, my persona, my friendship... is the distance and the mystery and the understanding that I am (come from, represent) a different world and thus I am novel. This is in part why I jump ship every six months: best viewed from a distance, I start to wither upon close inspection. I've been here for six months, and now that my life has a certain routine to it, I feel my entire being crying out for a change. I need to push myself or I start to wither. I need fresh soil, and a fresh pack of cigarettes, or I start to disappear.

These are the things you never wanted anyone to read, where this fiction blends with your reality and the reader wonders how much of this is really autobiographical:

I've been doing acid again. I've been meeting guys again, too. There's a part of me that wants to defend my casual encounters with a certain pride, like I'm exploring and sharing and thus living according to my duty. But dear god, that guy was hitting me hard. I'd never been hit in the face before, in my life. How do I use this information? Now I'm more capable of describing the way the world lights up bright white, the way the brain takes the hit well before the body does, the way the pain is nothing more than a welcome sensation that sort of spreads from his open palm to your cheekbone - repeatedly. What is self-worth? What is roleplay, and what is fiction? What is privacy, to a story-teller? Now's a good time to waste this line: Sex is like any other artform; the more you do it, the better you get at it, and the more beautiful the end result. Now's a good time to remind yourself not to be too hard on yourself. I do believe it's my birthday today.
Edited by Jin White, Jun 20 2014, 07:57 PM.
i used to be shy. now i'm reserved.

who the #!@% is j i n w h i t e
character level: 26
{ home base }
43 :lp
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Jin White
Member Avatar
existential mage
waiting for the acid to kick in is always the most fascinating part.

people that don't do drugs hate reading about people that do drugs, which i find fascinating.
i used to be shy. now i'm reserved.

who the #!@% is j i n w h i t e
character level: 26
{ home base }
43 :lp
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Jin White
Member Avatar
existential mage
i've been here for too long!

doing the same shit!

not going anywhere! not gaining a thing.
i used to be shy. now i'm reserved.

who the #!@% is j i n w h i t e
character level: 26
{ home base }
43 :lp
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Jin White
Member Avatar
existential mage
are the men worth writing about?

is the religion, the melancholy, the quiet aspiration bubbling under your skin? what about the burning frustrations that always keep your tongue in check? maybe the crippling laziness can be construed as relevant and insightful.

all i've been doing is battling, fucking, battling, fucking.

i go around collecting gym badges and i go around fucking men. i lose sometimes and i win sometimes. sometimes the experiences are ... unforgettable. once, recently, i left a man's house feeling a knot in my stomach, because i knew after the fact that i stopped wanting him before we even started. another time, recently, i left a man's house grinning stupidly saying, "i'm glad i tried that, but i'm never doing it again."

i win more of the battles than i lose, but sometimes the losses keep coming in a relentless spiral. i entered a local tournament today. i was confident, despite not having slept in two days: i didn't recognize any names in my competition. i lost in the first round to a gimmicky baton pass team. i felt like i'd been kicked in the skull. i started picking battles with other players, first in the tournament house, then on the street, wagering my money and my reputation. i couldn't win a match. i kept fighting and i kept losing. the hole i was in kept taking me deeper and deeper until no one wanted to fight anymore, not even me. i win more of the battles than i lose, but the losses... they hit hard, and they hit all at once.
Edited by Jin White, Jul 26 2014, 02:35 AM.
i used to be shy. now i'm reserved.

who the #!@% is j i n w h i t e
character level: 26
{ home base }
43 :lp
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Jin White
Member Avatar
existential mage
from his pages

there comes a point when everyone you meet starts to look like someone you know: someone you slept with, someone you pissed off, someone you loved once as they walked past you in the hallways of your high school, someone you saw on TV, someone like your old dead neighbor. i remember when i was younger i was amazed by the notion that 6 bilion+ people could all be uniquely designed; now i only see ghosts of my past everywhere i turn.


sex is my newest vice. it's replaced drinking, which replaced smoking pot, and i do it with frequency.


...and he watched his cigarette burn, slowly at first, then faster as the wind picked up and carried with it all the scents of sweet, wet fall. the bright mid-afternoon sky was no match for the darkness in his eyes, in his mind.

i don't know what to tell you, how to say i can't write when all i can do is fill the pages with more darkness and i want, consciously, to avoid that... i have a bad habit of shutting off, completely, when the darkness creeps in and what can i say? it's here to stay...

if there's anything that troubles me it's this fucking stagnation and how to shake it eludes me... i think back, vainly, to the black curse my mother once told me about, how it plagues us... the lack of resolution to the story when she confessed it, when she'd told me about her foray to the pagan fortune teller and quranic scholar both, how they both spelled out the same story, how they both looked on her with pity and amusement as they saw the signs of the black curse clear as the moon all over her palm, or all across the lines of her fate, or in the verse that opened up in her question...

(( i don't know what to do with myself ))

breathing in these fumes like it's good for me.
Edited by Jin White, Oct 27 2014, 03:15 PM.
i used to be shy. now i'm reserved.

who the #!@% is j i n w h i t e
character level: 26
{ home base }
43 :lp
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
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