Welcome everyone! |
Quick Links, Announcements & Affiliates |
|---|---|
|
The Rules How To Play
Mibbit: #thelegacy - Register Profiles | Homebases Active Topics & Active Users Looking for RP References Calc Maps: Region | World | Area | Landmark |
| My father's footsteps pt. 1; Freeform | ||
|---|---|---|
| Topic Started: Jun 19 2011, 02:14 PM (220 Views) | ||
| Lonile | Jun 19 2011, 02:14 PM Post #1 | |
![]()
Descending into insanity
|
Word Count: 2300 Summary It was dark in the cottage. Other houses had lights burning, candles and torches pressing back the darkness of the night. The pub near the village square was especially bright this early in the night with people laughing and singing, oblivious to the world outside their walls. Through the streets ran children who shrieked and played with the boundless exuberance of youth. Sarah stood up and closed the shutters, latching them before treading softly across the floor of her fa- Her cottage. Completely enveloped in darkness and silence now, she sat down at the kitchen table and bowed her head in prayer. She didnt begrudge them their merriment usually, in fact until a few years ago she would have been among those children. Today was an exception. Three days ago her father had passed on, leaving her alone in the world. Yesterday hed been buried and shed found out that she would be married in two days. This home and all her fathers possessions would be sold as dowry and his daughter would be given to the village constable to be his wife. If she had been born her fathers son there would be no problem with her living here alone, she wouldnt have even had trouble following in her fathers footsteps... She breathed out slowly, pushing the thoughts and feelings that threatened to undo her out of her mind. Right now she needed to focus. She weighed the apricorn in her hands carefully, feeling its weight out. No, no, no, angel. The greenish fruit was pulled out of her hands and set aside. Her father looked down at her and shook his head. We dont pick them when theyre that new. You have to wait until theyre properly right or they wont work properly. He walked around the tree and pointed to a brownish red orb that hung just out of her reach. You see the size and color of this one? Pick it now and itll lose that reddish luster in a few hours. By tomorrow morning itll be perfect to carve. Why cant you carve it now, papa? She asked. It needs to dry yet, love. It would be a devil to carve before its dried properly and it wouldnt be a proper job besides. He picked the apricorn and dropped it in the sack at his waist before holding out his hand to the young her. Now, come on. We should get back to the village before it gets too dark. We wouldnt want to be caught by any wild pokemon would we? Shed picked this apricorn herself yesterday, leaving it in the pantry to dry until now. It was the first time shed gone to the tree by herself, picking the brownish red orb and carrying it back to the cottage at the bottom of a basket of fruit. She closed her eyes and concentrated, picking up the small bronze pick off the rack in front of her and weighing it in her hands. Now, watch carefully because I have to do this in one motion. Her father picked up the pick and ran the pointed hind edge around the outside of the apricorn, the point slicing a shallow valley all the way around the sphere and meeting its starting point. He then rolled the apricorn so the score was parallel to the table and brought the flattened blade of the pick down into the crevasse he had made. With a woody crack the plant split down the line, falling in two halves on the table. You have to score it carefully or youll weaken it. Too deep and it wont seal right when a pokemons inside, too shallow and you may shatter it when its split. He set the tool aside and smiled, handing the halves to the small girl standing beside him. See how smooth the edge is? You wont see the jagged edges you see on some of the apricorns those men from the city use if you do it this way. He smiled and patted his daughter on the head. Now go out and play! He made a shooing motion with his hands and smiled as the girl ran outside, laughing. Her finger traced the track that shed made around the fruit. She frowned, it was deeper than she would have liked but was otherwise as good as any shed seen her father make. She brought the pick down hard on the crease, feeling it part beneath the blade. A quick feel around the edges made her smile. Perfect. She whispered to herself. She set the pick aside and reached for a small jug of salt. She sprinkled a pinch on the exposed core and bowed her head for a second. When she lifted her head she picked up a spoon shaped implement with a sharpened edge. She ran her hand over one side and positioned the scoop over the center before pressing down, taking a chunk of the woody pulp out. Now, if you get the skin here too thin the pokemon will shatter it with almost no effort. The scoop pointed at the shell before scraping another sliver out of the interior of the apricorn. Too thick on the other hand and it gets too heavy. The pokemon wont have that much room inside either and it may not work at all. He set the scoop aside and held out the half sphere. Feel the thickness here. No, angel, with your hands. Your eyes will lie to you and tell you its fine but your fingers will always tell you the truth. He put the shell back on the table and picked up the other half, taking a big chunk out of the center to start. Remember, dont rush these things. If you put a hole in the skin its not worth anything. Patience She set the carved apricorn aside and took a deep breath. There was only one step left. She lit a candle and held a bowl full of tar over it with a pair of tongs. When it was completely melted she set the bowl down, blew out the candle, and painted the gooey liquid over the insides of both halves, sealing them. She then took a strip of leather and pressed it into tar of both sides, leaving just enough of a gap that the two halves could separate using the leather as a hinge. She closed the two halves and set it in the center of the table, leaving the tar to harden. She lit a pair of candles and looked out the window. Why do you carve your apricorns this way, papa? The people with apricorns from the city dont mention anything like this. She picked up the ball carefully, looking over it. The men from the city usually dont even make their apricorns themselves, they pay someone else and theyre much less concerned with quality. You see them go out with fifteen of these things in a sack and they use up most of them by the time they capture something. Ive never had that problem. It may take two or three to catch some of the more aggressive creatures but thats it. He took the ball out of her hands and put it in the sack tied to his belt. Remember this, angel. Never use carved apricorns that have sat for more than a week. They lose their potency over time until even a masterwork ball is as likely to catch something as one of those city made things. Never use an apricorn when your gut tells you it wont work. Trust those instincts and theyll see you thru anything. He looked at his daughter, fully grown and listening intently to him. And never forget tradition is there for a reason. Do you remember what I taught you about your first carving? She rolled her eyes. Yes, papa. Fast for a day and a night beforehand, drinking nothing but water to purify yourself. Pick the fruit at the beginning of your fast and begin working when the last ray of sunlight leaves you in darkness. Pray to the goddess to bless your work and let no light touch it until you finish carving... And you only get one shot and I cant help you with it. You take that apricorn and when it dries you paint your runes on it and on yourself. Then you go out into the forest like our line has done for generations. You go out and you find your pokemon and you catch it with that single ball. He closed his eyes, remembering. Do this and nobody, man or woman, will raise their hand against you. He looked into her eyes. Those of us who take this path are highly regarded no matter what lot in life we were born to. If you can do this I can take you on as my apprentice despite the fact that you are a woman. Tears stained his eyes. Im sorry, angel. Im sorry that your mother died giving birth to you and Ive tried to raise you as best I can on my own. I know that it hasnt been easy when I went out on hunts but youve turned out smarter and more lovely than I ever expected. He leaned forward and kissed her head. Ill be back in a couple days, theres a mushroom creature stalking the paths the woodcutters take and I need to take care of it. He walked towards the door, stopping with his hand on the latch. I promise that when I get back Ill put you through your first carving. I keep forgetting how old youre getting. Youre about the same age I was when your grandfather put me through that ordeal. He laughed. See you in a few days. He closed the door and made his way up the path into the forest. Except he hadnt come back. The woodcutters had found him on the main road wheezing and dragging himself towards the village a week later. Hed been forced to kill the creature after it had taken down two of his pokemon and managed to cover him with a cloud of purplish spores. By the time he was found he could barely stand and was coughing up blood. Over the last week shed cared for him as well as she could but eventually the poison claimed him. When he closed his eyes for the last time she broke the apricorns holding his pokemon, freeing them, as he had asked her to. Now she was on her own. Shed have no future unless she was married off as quick as possible, according to the village elders, so shed been paired up with the nephew of the baker. He wasnt a bad man even if he was twice her age. Like most of the village, though, he thought that a woman had no business outside the home even if she was the daughter of a hunter. He had no problem that she saw with those that had proven themselves, he didnt jeer and heckle the women hunters that passed through the way that some people did, but neither did he approve of the training her father had been giving her. As it was she had no status and no say over her own future unless she succeeded tonight. If she proved herself worthy and captured a pokemon shed have the right to stand up for herself and take up the duties her father had carried. If I dont do this can I really give up everything Ive ever known? Can I really... She shook her head, tears shed been holding back threatening to spill over. She couldnt afford to cry now she wasnt done yet. She took a wooden jar out of the pantry that held the white paint that her father had used to mark his own apricorns. Technically she should have prepared the paint for herself special as well. It took a week for the herbs to cure beforehand, though. She eased her conscience by reminding herself that shed been making the ceremonial paint for the past couple years since her father hated the smell. She picked up a small wooden brush made with boar hair and dabbed it into the paint, trying not to soak the bristles too much. She carefully drew the angular runes that made up her name, marking those representing strength and fortitude above and those that represented health and courage below. The paint glistened in the candle light. She breathed out slowly, now was the hard part. She dabbed the brush into the pot again and began drawing a series of symbols up the inside and outside of her forearm. The brush switched hands and she did her best to do the same on her other hand with her off hand. She did the same with her legs and stopped. She took out the small mirror her mother had been given as a wedding present and painted the lines and symbols across her face and neck, running down her right arm to join the ones already there. Normally someone else would have done this for her, or so her father had said. As it was shed have to be careful not to smudge the paint for the next hour until it dried. She pulled on her boots and her fathers old vest over her blouse. She strung the hunting bow hed given her on her twelfth birthday and put his two daggers in their sheathes across her chest. Then, picking up the apricorn, she closed the door and left the house. She walked down the path shed last seen her father tread and smiled. In a way she really was following in his footsteps. Spoiler: click to toggle
Edited by Lonile, Jun 19 2011, 02:15 PM.
|
|
|
Mark Lonile /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ Sarah Forester
| ||
![]() |
|
|
| DarthEevee | Jun 21 2011, 07:58 PM Post #2 | |
|
Cute and Fluffy Evil Overlord
|
Okay, wow. This piece is lovely. Like, super-extra and stuff. Long story short, I really, really like how this came out. The introduction, and the entire piece, form a fairly flawless whole that is an excellent story. The only (VERY mild) disappointments I had were that it's really hard to tell the girl's age in this, and that it ends where it does. However, neither of those are actual problems, the first just being my overly curious nature, and the latter being intentional, and well set for an intentional cliffhanger/chapter end or the like. The end, in particular, leaves me wanting to keep reading. So I hope you do keep typing this. Even if I'm not sure what it will end up doing overall. Kind of hard to actually play Sarah herself in legacy proper, but hey. Maybe later you can make a char that's a descendant of her family or something. This could be kinda neat to see, this all being a vision quest in the end or something like that. Don't mind me. I'm just rambling. I like the memories in between each part of her trying to make the ball, the flow between them. As if the past and present were melting together a little in some sort of mystical little ceremony, coming of age and all that. May be why I'm thinking this could turn out to be some sort of wierd dream/vision of a descendant *cough* Heck, maybe your current character is a descendant and doesn't know it. *chuckles* Either way, I don't know where the reward goes exactly right now, but it's an excellent stand-alone piece, and I like the way it unfolds for the reader. I get 14 for the end grade on this, but I don't know exactly how it might work for your own journey and stuff. Maybe someone smarter than me can figure this out?
|
|
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. ~Oogway
EVERYTHING ELSE
| ||
![]() |
|
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | ||
| « Previous Topic · Primeval Forest · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
1:20 PM Jul 11
|
A big thanks to all the mods and admins who freely volunteer their time and energy to this RPG to help it grow and become awesome.
Hosted for free by ZetaBoards · Privacy Policy






63/63 




91 


14.0



1:20 PM Jul 11