Welcome everyone! |
Quick Links, Announcements & Affiliates |
|---|---|
|
The Rules How To Play
Mibbit: #thelegacy - Register Profiles | Homebases Active Topics & Active Users Looking for RP References Calc Maps: Region | World | Area | Landmark |
| Change of Pace | ||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Topic Started: Oct 25 2010, 06:55 PM (219 Views) | ||||||||||||||
| Kaizanu | Oct 25 2010, 06:55 PM Post #1 | |||||||||||||
![]()
Warrior of the Wolves
|
Change of Pace "I'm only doing this, because you're slow." Prospective Rewards; - Relocate to Mayriver City (2 Landmarks) - Experience. Optional Happiness. What You Need to Know; - Reintroduces Kaizanu's rival, since I don't want him in "is he dead?" limbo. Written open-ended and vague for future clarification and conflict. - Kaizanu takes Thick Shrubs to Healthy Fields to Mayriver. - I am... lazy. Half of this was written while dead. Summary; - Kaizanu gets some psychic readings to see if her journey will be well. She meets conflict and resolves them, but what will the future hold? Technical Statistics; - Complete Word Count: 2,058 Table of Contents; Just a huge chunk, ladies and gents. "I want to know if I'll see my good friend soon," I said, nervously wringing my hands until they were the color of a primrose. What should have been a journey of a month had taken three; since leaving Kevin Baconville, I met numerous obstacles, nearly nonstop. I even met a legend and tamed him. But I wasn't happy. I missed my friend deeply, and without her, I was not sure how long I could keep up. Everything, since the beginning, had been a journey of "us" and "we," and never of "I" or "she." I felt lost, depressed, and sleep deprived. Nightmares of a weeping feraligatr plagued my otherwise silent nights. I wondered if she missed me just as badly. I wondered if she hated me. The crooked, wrinkled hands handled the equally decrepit cards with the same deft ease as a pokemon trainer does a ball. "Haunter, please," she croaked. Momentary silence fell across me and the old psychic, then the detached hands of the pokemon appeared from beneath the table, its face seemingly trapped within the crystalline ball in the center. "What card haunts Miss Tyzin's dreams?!" Her words fell out of her mouth like an old chant, and the haunter's wheezing voice joined in. "Haunter. Haunter." A single card glowed purple and jumped from the deck, landing in front of me. The Hanged Man glowered with its distorted face twisted slightly to the side, rope tangled around his neck haphazardly. I felt a bit of the same knot in my stomach as I searched for the answer to my many questions in the eyes of the old psychic. The woman's wrinkled mouth curled slightly, like a malformed smile. "Ah! The card says you will face a great many trials. Sacrifices must and will be made in your journey to discern if your loved one still loves you. Beware stagnation and never stay in one place too long. Love can weather almost any obstacle, but time is the worst one of all." My mouth went dry. I didn't want to hear that I would have to face trials and make sacrifices. All I wanted was to see Akita again and continue our grand journey together. I wanted her to meet Xerxes, see how powerful Caedmon had grown, and see how much I have grown in her absence. I was always afraid that Akita, who was my strongest ally and best friend, would someday tell me that I was holding her back. "Then I have to leave now," I announced, standing up abruptly, shaking the table more than I had intended. The haunter frowned at me from the ball, holding it on either side with his oversized hands to keep it from rolling off the table. "Haunter," he reminded. Nothing in the world was free. "Oh. Yes, of course," I said in haste, shoving my hand in my pocket after a brief moment of thought. A wad of money resurfaced in my hand, and I carefully counted out a decent sum to the old psychic. As I placed the money on the table, the displaced air shoved the Hanged Man off the table and onto the floor. "Thanks for your time," I said mechanically, trained from my business down in Felcrest. If anything, my earlier episode of uncertainty had never happened, I looked as calm as I could be, but my legs shook ever-so-slightly as I left the small house. The old woman chuckled in her croagunk-like voice. "What good it is to be young and in love." Her haunter handed her the card from the floor. "Oh, was it upside down?" The pokemon nodded with a grimace. Waddling to her window, she tried to see if her customer was still around. "Well, with a destiny such as hers, the only selfish act I can foresee her performing is one of pushing too far, too fast." The haunter nodded, reshuffling the deck of cards. He pulled a second. The Fool. ----- Target Confirmed. Stand by. ----- I silently replayed the old psychic's words in my head. "What does it all mean?" On the verge of ripping out a wad of my hair, I was stopped as Xerxes's jaws encased my arm. He did not bite down hard, nor did he shake his head. He merely held my arm still, his dark red eyes watching me. I released my hair, and he released his hold. "You are stupid for wasting money on that old hag," he said in a low voice as he looked at me from the corner of his eye, too proud to look at me head on. "What a bold statement," I replied, walking beside him. We were on good terms, though he still remained proud of himself. Xerxes was never violent with me, as he had been before; though on occasion, I felt uneasy to be near him. He was Entei. He was unpredictable. But at least he listened to the occasional order. Xerxes snorted, a puff of smoke coming from his nose. "At least I say what I feel, instead of keeping it all inside." I stopped. "Well, if that's going to be the case: let me get a saddle and ride you." The entei stopped and turned around, looking down at me, towering over me. Rows of bright, glittering fangs coated in saliva reflected my face; facial muscles betrayed my fear. I quickly threw on a poorly done poker face and took a step back. Sneering at me, Xerxes returned his fangs to their metaphorical sheaths. "If I ever let a thing like that happen to me, I should laugh," he stated. Then, as if to add an afterthought, he opened his mouth, paused, and laughed heartily. "What's so funny?" I said, glaring at the lion. He shook his head, grinning madly to himself. "If I saw one of my brethren under those conditions, I could die of laughter." Xerxes turned to Kaizanu, looking merrier than his usual self. He seemed genuine to Kaizanu. He had emotions, he had feelings, and he loved life, but not captivity; however, he seemed to be adjusting. "Sorry. It's just... I hope they aren't so easily tamed." Xerxes looked away, shielding his eyes. Kaizanu bit her lip. "Don't... I don't think they're weak." "Certainly not weak like me," he growled under his breath. "You're not weak either." A small smirk appeared, but masked behind a facade of pride, Xerxes resumed a calm air. "Come on, let's go to Mayriver. I'm eager to meet your friend," he said, trying to change the subject. He had heard a lot about Akita and seen a few photographs of the strangely colored feraligatr, but he would wait to make his own judgment on this so-called powerhouse. Kaizanu smiled, reaching out to stroke the lion's brown main. He leaned in slightly. "I'm sure Akita is eager to meet you, too." ----- Leaving city limits. Move in. ----- "Kaizanu Tyzin. You have the right to remain silent." I turned. "What the fuck?" I said impulsively. "I didn't do anything!" The exclamation lingered only long enough to let me taste the words that I would soon regret. The three men surrounding me, armed with laser rifles, held their weapons high; red points danced across my body and shined in my eye. Their faces were covered in unmarked full-facial masks. "Hello," I said, grinding my teeth. "Who are you?" Xerxes looked at the three, raising an eyebrow was his first response. "I don't suppose, you worry about your actions?" he asked, directed to no one in particular, but probably to me. He was having a hard time thinking of anything I had done to warrant such an opening phrase. "Put your hands up, Kaizanu," one of the men said, gesturing with his rifle. A glint caught my eye, and the dark blue and gold symbol embossed on the weapon was all I needed. ZenPo. "I thought ZenPo was destroyed," I said, putting up my hands. After the theft of Akita, I had gone to their headquarters and entered into battle. The result was a burned down tower and the supposed death of my rival, but apparently, that had not been the case. "Shut up," the same one said. His voice was familiar, now that I thought about it. I grinned. "You suffered some pretty bad burns, didn't you, Ziak?" "Shut up, or I'm going to blow your brains out!" Without responding, I let Ziak feel like he had won. It just wasn't worth arguing with him, especially when he had a weapon. However, Xerxes didn't feel the same. "Well, I have no fucking idea what you guys are talking about, but we have somewhere to be," he growled. His eyes were looking between each of the three men at equal intervals, but he took special interest in Ziak. "Hand over Entei," Ziak said, gesturing for one of his minions to take aim at the legendary. I stifled a laugh. "Haha! Good luck with that. Bastard does whatever the hell he wants," I said, looking over to the lion who glared at me. Ziak tensed, annoyed at me. He raised his rifle again and pulled the trigger. It felt like hellfire in my leg before the laser burned away all feeling at the core of the strike, but the flesh about the major burn was still white hot. Clutching my leg instinctively, I feel down, curling in on myself in some hopes that the pain would die away. Grass enclosed me, its long fingers holding me like a mother holds a baby. ----- I woke up where I had fallen, my leg throbbing, but cool. Only blue sky and clouds were moving above me, and below me, warm fur and grass. I looked at Xerxes, who was lying down, protectively cradling me in the crook of his body. "What happened?" I asked, unmoving. "I chased them off." He refused to elaborate, which, true to form, was probably for the best. I let him alone for about a second, before I asked my second question. "How long have I been out?" I focused on the clouds moving passed, watching them as they floated in and out of view. Xerxes shrugged. "I'd guess about three hours." "Why aren't I at a hospital?" I asked, looking up at the lion again. "Because I'm not going to walk to town," he replied, knocking my face with the side of his armored head. "Your wound is clean," he added, to avoid my next question. He licked the wound, his rough tongue like salt. I tensed, fighting back a reaction. Ringed with puffy, pink flesh, the wound was raw and bleeding lightly. It was very localized and small, but it hurt like crushing my whole leg between a car and wall of soldering irons. "Fuck it," I growled to myself. Ziak was still alive. Ziak was still out there. Ziak was still trying to steal pokemon and ruining lives. And he still had the money and followers to do it. "Pardon?" Xerxes was ready to get going, pushing me up as he stood; shaking his body out and stretching out his limbs, he looked down at me expectantly. "Let's go," he said, deciding not to wait. He hadn't elaborated, so he didn't need me to. I got up, stumbled, and regained my balance. "Ugh. I feel sick." I walked slowly and carefully. Vertigo wasn't helping the formula. By the time I gave notice, Xerxes was a good ways off, looking at me, waiting for me. He could have run off, but he hadn't. Two minutes later, he sat down and watched me move towards him, like a mother watches their childs first steps, hesitant to extend a helping hand. "This is taking too long," he decided, coming to me as I took another pause. "Come on." He knelt down, bowing. Xerxes avoided eye contact, but I knew what he was thinking. Get on. "Thanks," I said, struggling to get up. His fur was soft and warm, and for some reason, he smelled faintly of fire lilies. However, he did not respond and did his best to keep his calm, proud attitude. "I'm only doing this, because you're slow," he mumbled. "I know." And I refused to elaborate. Thus was our trek to Mayriver: a trial and a resolution. Nothing more. |
|||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||
![]() |
|
|||||||||||||
| Kari | Oct 28 2010, 09:56 PM Post #2 | |||||||||||||
![]()
Blinded by the magic.
|
This is a very compressed compilation of many related snippets that tryto address many aspects of the Kaizanu plot. Xerxes' improving relationship with Kaiz, her continued search for Akita, an interesting open-ended foreshadowing that wasn't subtle enough for my liking (still, personal opinions don't come into grading explicitly) and the tying up of loose ends from Kaizanu's previous dealings with her rival... it isn't easy to mash everything together into a comprehensive piece like this. Kaizanu's personal fear is meticulously addressed across many media: The tarot-card reading Psychic, Xerxes' reactions to Kaizanu, and her own monologue very nicely reflects various faces of her thoughts and feelings. Xerxes' warming up towards Kaizanu is also very sweet and characteristic of the two characters, but considering the 22 anger* Bastard still has it's a bit odd. No matter! Suspension of disbelief still allows me to enjoy this pretty much. * - I have nothing against Xerxes sharing thoughts with you, but Son Andrew's Helka, which had around 9 black hearts, was reaction in a considerably more hostile manner. Maybe Kaizanu's experience in handling high-level Pokemon like Caedmon gave Entei the confidence that Kaizanu could handle him even if he didn't like her. Hey, she even raised a Feraligatr that was stronger than Entei! In any case, it may be that my yardstick for judging a Pokemon's reactions was based on very little references to other profiles. Maybe. Using Tarot Cards was a novel venture, though I was glad you didn't go on to use complicated cards/sets and all that. Hanged Man and The Fool should be quite common in Tarot language for the laymen. I also liked the parallel between Xerxes and Kaizanu. Her fears of losing her most trusted partner was pretty much the same as Xerxes' insecurity about his own strength and lamentation at his loss of freedom. It also justifies why the two can stick together, I feel. Ziak's reintroduction was a little iffy, I feel. Quick, efficient and somewhat impactful, but the full implication of the realization that Ziak was still alive didn't quite blow me (and for the matter Kaiz) away in the same manner that it promised to. And these people... just jumped on Kaiz and Xerxes like that? Really? You get 6.2 for your raw score. Hence, you: - get to Mayriver - get 3 experience and 3 hearts (Yea, I rounded up.) You know how to convert these things around. I get 0.3. |
|||||||||||||
[Satari] | APL: 53 | | | | | Spoiler: click to toggle
| ||||||||||||||
![]() |
|
|||||||||||||
| Kaizanu | Oct 29 2010, 11:06 PM Post #3 | |||||||||||||
![]()
Warrior of the Wolves
|
Ziak is... a strange character, but he does have a history of just jumping Kaizanu and stealing pokemon. Usually, he does it by himself or has his thugs do it on their own, but this time, it was thugs + Ziak. Wee for combinations! As for Xerxes, he acts like a proud beast, more than violent. He does use violence to get his point across, but not nearly as often as simply smugly turning his nose up at the idea. Taking into account the Anger and Happiness, I have a hard time portraying an "angry" pokemon versus a "happy" pokemon. I guess I took some creative liberty, like... "happy" doesn't always mean, "OMG!ILOVEYOUSOMUCH!<3<3<3" It just means, "Oh, cool. Got'cha." Whereas anger tends to be less "I fucking hate you, bitch! D<" and more "Fuck off." Well... those are a bit similar, but you get the idea? Maybe? I admit that I kind of shoved in the part of Ziak, because I thought just "We're walking to Mayriver, now!" would just be too boring. He will get more of a story, eventually. Not this month, nor in November, though. And that's my re-commentary? Yes. Thank you very much for the smod. I'll take my Trip to Mayriver, and a Full 9 onto Xerxes, which, if I'm doing math right, pulls him to a solid 13 .Profile to be updated... soonish. |
|||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||
![]() |
|
|||||||||||||
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | ||||||||||||||
| « Previous Topic · Escennia · Next Topic » |
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic |
6:52 PM Jul 10
|
A big thanks to all the mods and admins who freely volunteer their time and energy to this RPG to help it grow and become awesome.
Hosted for free by ZetaBoards · Privacy Policy











|
|
|
|
|
onto Xerxes, which, if I'm doing math right, pulls him to a solid 13
.
6:52 PM Jul 10