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| Dreams; Another Jinx Freeform | |||||||||||||
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| Topic Started: Nov 22 2009, 04:43 AM (342 Views) | |||||||||||||
| Jance | Nov 22 2009, 04:43 AM Post #1 | ||||||||||||
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Mega Venusaur
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OOC Info~ So this is just a little freeform I came up with to explain more about Jinx's past. Where she came from, why she has/had such strong psychic abilities, and why she was brought to Opedekka. And maybe acquire the rare Pokemon Ralts. Wrote it at 3am dunno how good it is but it kept me up all night. Goals: - Gain a level 5 Ralts or exp and happiness Word Count: 3,944 Jinx Jinx A soft ethereal voice floated on the wind. The source unknown, yet the sound was comforting and familiar. Awaken Jinx come follow me Deep indigo eyes opened slowly confusion glinting within their depths. All that could be seen was the evening sky, darkness all around but above an endless sea of stars. Was this a dream? Or was she really awake? The ground under her back felt cool and hard like stone. Was she outside at night? But where was the city? The only source of light came from the distance stars. They twinkled merrily as though enjoying an inside joke. Had she died? No silly girl, youre still very much alive. That voice again, where was it coming from? Slowly the young woman rolled to her side. What met her eyes next was nothing shed expected. Hovering just inches from the ground, or whatever she was lying on, was a beautiful creature. At first Jinx believed it to be a woman robed in an elegant white gown. Yet as she stared she realized the gown was in fact part of her body. Had she been more familiar with Pokemon she wouldve recognized the creature as a Gardevoir. Wha- who are you? Jinx questioned still not understanding what was happening to her. The Gardevoir drifted closer and now Jinx could see that beneath the folds of her gown, two slender legs supported her body. So she wasnt floating, yet the illusion was ever present. Her large, expressive eyes regarded Jinx with a gentle quality. The psychic extended a hand to the girl. Who I am is not important, I am just a guide. It is who you are that matters. Who are you Jinx Armstrong? Come, I have much to show you. The lavender haired woman hesitated. She was in a strange place with a strange Pokemon and she was expected just to trust this thing? Still at the moment there didnt seem to be anything Jinx could actually do. All about her was darkness save for the sky. There was no horizon to be seen and nowhere to go. Wherever she and whatever she was doing there seemed to be tied to this Gardevoir. Why? What am I doing here? Where am I? Jinx blurted out wanting answers, and now. She focused on the Gardevoirs mind but found she was unable to break into the creatures thought. Tinkling laughter reached her mind and the Gardevoirs eyes beheld her with amusement. Youve no power here. Do not be afraid, you are in no danger. This place is deep within your subconscious. If you want answers you should come with me. I will show you everything you wish to know. Her subconscious? Was she asleep then? Was this a dream or vision? Whatever this was the only course of action that seemed available was to follow this woman. Jinx frowned but took the extended hand and got to her feet. Ok so now what? The woman wondered aloud but before shed finished speaking the sky went black. Then brilliant light poured in blinding her. She made a noise of surprise and closed her eyes. The gentle prodding of the Gardevoir guided her to open them once more. Look, you have wondered about your family, why you were abandoned to the circus, why you have been transported back to this world of Opedekka. Look and see the beginning of your life, which you have forgotten. Back to Opedekka? Jinx murmured confused as she opened her eyes and found herself in a laboratory. The Gardevoirs words were briefly forgotten as she gazed upon a woman who seemed so familiar. She was lying unconscious on a gurney. Jinx frowned studying the woman. Who was she? Sudden voices drew her attention from the woman to a man. He was tall with white blond hair and half circle glasses. He wore a knee length lab coat and was speaking with what appeared to be an attendant or nurse. Sir, your wife, I do not think she will survive the operation. We should abort now least you lose her and the baby. The lab coat man examined a clipboard in hand before he turned to the attendant. His oddly colored violet eyes flashed with emotion and his knuckles went white against the clipboard. No! We will proceed as planned. If we can successfully splice human and Pokemon genetics to enhance a humans mental abilities just imagine what else we can do. Taking the strengths of Pokemon and combining them with humans, it could be the dawn of a new era for humanity. An insane gleam glowed in the mans eyes. Jinx stared wide eyed wondering what on earth this had to do with her. She turned to question Gardevoir but was cut off by the attendant. But Doctor, what about the lives of your wife and daughter? If we fail, they will most likely both die. The doctor paused, his face grave. But after a moment his jawline grew hard and he shook his head. If they die, their sacrifice will not be in vain. What we learn here today would be for the greater good of all mankind. The attendant looked a bit ill. Jinx could see it in his eyes the man was wondering what hed gotten himself into. But with a heavy sigh he nodded. As you wish, Doctor. The attendant turned to a table full of strange instruments. The doctor stood beside the womans head and stroked the unruly lavender locks from her face. Lets proceed gentlemen. Edited by Jance, Nov 22 2009, 04:49 AM.
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| Jance | Nov 22 2009, 04:44 AM Post #2 | ||||||||||||
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Mega Venusaur
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Sudden darkness surrounded Jinx once more. She jumped, startled. Her indigo gaze flicked to the Gardevoir, those eyes holding even more questions. That woman and man, was was that my mother and father? Am I the daughter he spoke of?! Her voice was slightly hysterical. Shed always wondered who her parents where, what they were like, but this, her father a mad scientist? That had experimented on her and her mother? It was a strange realization to be sure. At first Jinx found it outright unbelievable and was almost sickened by it. Yet if that was her father and he had suceeded, he was the one responsible for her power which she'd enjoyed over the last twenty-one years. Jinx narrowed her eyes at the Gardevoir, she couldn't help but wonder why this being was so interested in her and her life. The Gardevoir didn't seem to notice and simply waved a hand toward the darkened sky. A rush of light once again engulfed them. Now Jinx found herself in an operating room. Doctors and nurses clothed in the usual green operating garb were working frantically on a hidden patient. Were losing her! Her pulse is dropping fast! The voices were muffled. The doctor from before was not present, these were all strangers to her. The young woman moved closer. She could see vibrant lavender hair spilling from the top of the operating table. We have her, the babys alive, but shes barely breathing. Get her on oxygen stat! The mothers heart rate has stopped theres nothing more we can do. Weve lost her. The words echoed through Jinxs head. She stared at the face of the woman who looked so much like herself. She knew deep down this had been her mother. Infant wails could be heard, her own first cries of life. Jinx felt her eyes moisten. Part of her had always hoped to find her parents one day, but now that hope was shattered. Her mother was dead, died from complications during childbirth. But what had caused those complications? A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. Jinx turned her red rimmed eyes to the Gardevoir. Why? Why are you showing me this? She murmured voice thick. Gardevoir said nothing but the scene began to change. It was the blond haired doctor. He was in his lab which was being searched by police. Two officers were with him placing him under arrest. Doctor Cole, youre under arrest for illegal human experimentation and the murder of Misses Emelia Cole. His voice continued, reading the rights to the doctor who watched with deadened eyes as his laboratory was taken apart. He then began to laugh manically and his indigo eyes growing wide. I-I feel her I feel her! I can sense her thoughts. Oh ho, she is going to be so strong! The officers just stared at him pretty much thinking the guy was batshit insane. The arresting officer signaled to two others and they escorted the man from the lab. Jinx blinked confusion crossing her features. He could sense me? She wondered turning to Gardevoir for answers. The psychic raised a hand to her lips and again the scene changed. A tiny infant girl rested in a crib, surrounded by other newborns. The room was dim, Jinx assumed that it was late in the evening. The child was not asleep however. Her wide curious eyes stared up at the ceiling and she cooed softly. Loose objects about her crib began to levitate off their surfaces. The infant didnt seem to understand she was controlling them but did enjoy watching them hover over her bed. A noise from outside distracted her and everything came crashing down. The child whimpered upset that her toys had left her. Yet a dull flash of light appeared in the room drawing the newborns attention. A delicate figure, a Gardevoir, like the one standing beside the adult Jinx, leaned over the crib and scooped the child into its arms. Fear not little one. I will take you some place safe. And with that they vanished. Suddenly they reappeared outside the grounds of the circus Jinx was brought up in. Gardevoir placed the bundle that was baby Jinx in a box where she was sure to be seen. The psychic caressed her head before crying out, alerting the circus performers to Jinxs presence. Edited by Jance, Nov 23 2009, 09:38 AM.
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| Jance | Nov 22 2009, 04:45 AM Post #3 | ||||||||||||
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Mega Venusaur
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One day I will return for you, child. I do hope that you will learn from your life here. Always remember, you are very, very special. With that Gardevoir was gone. And the scene before Jinx faded again to the starry sky. Jinx stared for a moment then blinked turning to face Gardevoir. That, that was you? She pointed to the psychic who nodded. But youre just a Pokemon arent you? Why did you take me away? Why am I special? What does this all mean? A myriad of new questions had flooded Jinxs mind. This hadnt really explained anything and why was Gardevoir showing her all this now? Gardevoir raised a hand to silence her. I am not exactly as I seem. I appear to you in this way so as to not to reveal my true form. I have shown you this, your past so that you might understand and not follow the path your heart has begun to lead you down. You wonder at your abilities? Your father was successful in his experiment; your natural psychic power was enhanced with Pokemon DNA, making you quite powerful. Even as an infant your power manifested itself of its own will. I suppressed this when I first delivered you to the circus. As you grew your power grew. It returned to you when you were ready to handle it. I took you away from your home so that your father would not find you. And I took you to the circus so that you would learn what you needed from simple people. Yet your heart has grown dark. I watched as you began to use your power for selfish gain. When youd exhausted your strength that day, I brought you back here to your true home. Again I have suppressed your full power. You will have to find it and learn it again on your own. I did this in hopes that without your power you would turn from this path. But I cannot force you to change your heart. Still if you succeed in regaining your power and continue to use it for selfish reasons I will remove it from you completely. I give you this warning. Jinx stared open mouthed at the Gardevoir. What the psychic said seemed so unreal, like a fantasy. But her thoughts seemed to snag on one fact, her father was alive. The young woman gave little heed to the creatures warning. Instead emotion flooded her heart and mind. Even though her father seemed rather insane Jinx wanted to meet him, wanted to know him, see for herself what sort of man he was. Part of her was even grateful to him, for he had given her power beyond her dreams. She made an attempt to grasp at Gardevoir though the graceful being moved beyond her reach watching her with saddened eyes. Please! You must tell me where my father is! I must know. Gardevoir shook her head. I cannot share such with you, child. Your father would only further corrupt you. The two of you must never meet. I will do what I must to stop you. The woman glared at Gardevoir. She lunged toward her though fell landing on the stone ground. Jinx raised her gaze to that of Gardevoir fists clenched. I will find him! You cant keep us apart. The crimson gaze of Gardevoir saddened. Perhaps it was too late to change the girls heart yet she had to try. She spun in place her gown growing and enveloping Jinx turning her world white. Remember this, turn from this path or you shall forever lose what power you have. I will be watching, Jinx Armstrong. Do not seek your father. Something sharp incessantly prodded her cheek. Jinx furrowed her brow, eyes closed, her consciousness just beginning to awaken. The prodding continued and Jinx raised a hand roughly brushing against whatever it was. Hey! Are you going to sleep all day? Its been over twelve hours since you fell asleep. I was beginning to think you were dead. A voice in her head Jinx suddenly shot up from her bed nearly sending Houdini sprawling from his perch on her shoulder. Fortunately the Abra was astute enough to catch himself with a teleport and returned to the bed staring at his trainer with wide eyes. What was all that about? Are you alright? His mental tones gave off a sense of annoyance with a hint of concern. Houdini stared at Jinx as she gazed around the room eyes wide and disoriented. She turned to the Abra her face pale. Jinx? Hello? He waved a clawed paw in front of her eyes and Jinx jerked blinking in rapid succession. Finally she found her voice her mind still jumbled. Uh yea, yea Im ok. I think. Where are we? Houdini rolled his eyes and teleported to his favorite perch on her shoulder. Were at the Kevin Baconville Pokemon Center. What are you one of those people who forget where they are after theyve gone to sleep? It was an attempt at humor but Jinx didnt pick up on the joke. She shook her head and held her head with both hands running her fingers through her hair. N-No I mean, I just had a really intense dream. It felt so real and I saw my mother and father and some Pokemon... She trailed off trying to remember then suddenly burst out with, Houdini! My fathers alive and hes here in Opedekka! Most of the images from her dream were hazy, she couldnt even recall whatever it was that had been talking to her, but the memory of her father was still very strong. Jinx sprang to her feet and quickly began gathering her things. Houdini teleported off her shoulder and back to the bed. Whats the rush? He inquired studying his frantic trainer. She paused and turned to face him. I have to find my father Houdini. Hes alive and he knows about my abilities. The golden fox just watched her with a blank expression. He didnt see the urgency in finding her father but it sure seemed important to her. Ok, whatever you say. But do you even know where to start looking for him? Jinx frowned then dropped into an arm chair. No I dont. But I know he can sense me so maybe I can sense him? She had no idea where to start looking for her father. She didnt even know his full name, only that hed once been called Doctor Cole. If she had to travel all of Opedekka shed find him, nothing could stand in her way. Edited by Jance, Nov 22 2009, 04:48 AM.
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| Jance | Nov 22 2009, 04:45 AM Post #4 | ||||||||||||
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Mega Venusaur
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A knock at the door caused her and Houdini to jump. Jinx stared at the door wishing she could penetrate the wood and see into the mind of whatever was on the other side. But no she was only human at the moment. Instead she called out hesitantly. Whos there? Jinx you in there? Its Nurse Joy. Oh the overly sweet Pokemon nurse. Jinx scrambled to her feet moving swiftly to the door. It opened to reveal the slightly puzzled but smiling face of the red headed nurse. Good morning! I was making my rounds when I came across this. It has your name on it but Im not really sure where it came from. I didnt open it as I felt whatever was inside was meant for you. In Joys hand rested an ordinary Pokeball. Jinx blinked confused as well. Who would be leaving her a Pokeball and what on earth could be inside? Hesitantly she reached out for it and the nurse dropped it into her hand. Well I hope you had a good night sleep. Youre welcome to stay another day but if youre ready to leave, just leave the room key at the front desk. Ill be getting back to my patients. Joy gave her a cheery smile then turned and headed down the hall. Jinx stared after her then looked back at the ball in her hand. She retreated back into her room examining the ball. What is it? Houdini inquired from his perch on the bed. Jinx settled back into the arm chair gaze locked on the ball. I think its a Pokemon Jinx murmured in response. Houdini teleported onto the arm of the chair, staring at the ball curiously. Well you, going to open it? Jinx glanced at him then back to the ball. Well was she? She was still a bit frazzled as to what had happened in her dreams earlier but the curiosity of what was inside the ball was beginning to pull at her. She shrugged and tossed the ball forward gently. A flash of red and there appeared in the room a white and green figure. It was tiny, smaller than even Houdini. It looked almost like a small child, with a large head, tiny arms and a skirt. Hesitantly it leaned its head back looking up toward Jinx and Houdini. They stared back for a moment before Houdini teleported onto the floor in front of it. Greetings Ralts. I am Houdini the Abra, and my associate Jinx. He pointed a clawed finger at Jinx who frowned at him. Officially Im your trainer, not just your associate Houdini. Jinx corrected her gaze never leaving the Ralts. It seemed confused by the two then narrowed its eyes studying Jinx. A look of realization flickered across its face before it gave a timid smile and dipped its head in a half bow. Oh! I am glad to meet you both. I assume that since you are the one holding my leash that you are now officially my trainer too? Jinx balked at the new voice in her head. It was feminine and sounded so familiar. She frowned but nodded slowly. The woman reached into her bag withdrawing her Pokedex to scan this strange Pokemon. Ralts, another psychic type. Houdini gave her a look that plainly stated, Duh. Jinx ignored him still staring at Ralts. You seem familiar, have we met before? Ralts shook her head expression innocent. I do not believe so Miss Jinx. Jinx still watched the Ralts warily. She didnt trust the creature, heck she didnt even know where she had come from or why shed been given to her. But as they say, never look a gift horse in the mouth. Another psychic Pokemon on her team would prove worthwhile. And according to the Pokedex, Ralts were rather rare Pokemon. Jinx would just have to keep an extra careful eye on this one. Shed also try to figure out where shed come from and why. The Ralts sure didnt seem worried about being her new Pokemon. It was almost as if she had been expecting to find Jinx on the other end of her Pokeball. Whatever the case, Jinx had more important things to worry about, such as finding her father. Hmm. Well I dont know where youve come from or why, but I plan to find out. For now, welcome to the team. I dislike calling Pokemon by their species, so I think Ill call you Miyu. Miyu blinked slowly not expecting her name to be changed. But she liked the sound of the name and nodded agreeing to be called such. As you please Miss Jinx. Miyu is a suitable name for myself. Jinx smirked then raised the Pokeball. Here, I cant try and keep track of the both of you and as I dont really trust you Miyu, I want you to return to your ball. Miyu made no protest and was soon returned to the Pokeball in a flash of red light. Houdini raised a brow looking up at Jinx. Think theres something amiss with our young miss? Jinx scratched her head nodding. I do. Where did she come from? Why did she seem like she recognized me? Who just leaves a Pokeball with a Pokemon in it for a stranger? None of this adds up. I have a strange feeling it all has to do with my dream. Houdini stared at her puzzled. Jinx sighed and got to her feet. She grabbed her bag and jacket. The Abra regained his vantage point on her shoulder settling into a comfortable position for a nap. Jinx smirked and shook her head. Off to find your father? Jinx nodded as she headed down the hall, dropping the key off at the front desk as asked. She paused at the bulletin board posted beside the entrance. Jinx frowned studying the listings. One inpaticular caught her eye. Yes but perhaps I ought to get some resources. Finding my father will be like finding a needle in a haystack. And if he was as bad as my dreams suggest, maybe getting close to other bad people would help. She removed a flyer before heading outside, Houdini already fast asleep. Edited by Jance, Nov 22 2009, 04:47 AM.
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| Jance | Nov 22 2009, 04:46 AM Post #5 | ||||||||||||
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Mega Venusaur
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Unbeknownst to either trainer or Pokemon, two pairs of eyes kept watch. Do you think it wise to leave Ralts alone with her? The girl is most determined to follow this path. If we lose Ralts to the same path A masculine voice spoke, concerned and fearful. We must trust Ralts to do what is right. Jinx needs a guide with her and Ralts will be able to keep an eye on her. I had hoped the girl would one day use her gifts for good. Humans could use someone to look up too. Yet I fear the power is too strong and is corrupting her. But I must give her this chance. Do you not trust my judgement? Came the reply from feminine vocals. I always trust you. I just fear for the young one. She really is a Ralts after all. Again the male, worry still evident in his tone but his last statement held a hint of teasing. Tinkling laughter drifted over the wind causing Jinx to pause and look over her shoulder. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The woman frowned then shrugged and continued on her way. She had a father to find. Teh End |
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| Steel Cerberus | Nov 30 2009, 05:04 PM Post #6 | ||||||||||||
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Go for it, run towards it, dive in head first. Live life with no regrets!
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Aah... I'm not too good at this critique thing, so hopefully this'll be alright for ya. The freeform itself was... alright. It wasn't spectacular, but it wasn't bad either. It was a nice, easy little read. As for the actual story... maybe it's because I've actually done something similar in another fandom RP (combine humans with whatever the main thing of the fandom is), that the story itself was alright but not particularly fascinating. "Been there, done that" for me, which isn't a bad thing, but any kind of awe or anything from that plot point was kinda lost on me. Don't take it the wrong way, it wasn't bad or anything! It's a fun thing to do if it's done right, and so far you're doing well at it. Um. Nothing else to note, really. There were two places that I can remember, where I thought you should have put a comma in, but that was it on the mechanics side of it. Like I said, it was a nice easy read. Unfortunately, not enough for a Ralts. So, you can either take: 7.9 2 and 6.9 ![]() ...or. You can save the 7.9 and do another freeform, of about the same length. If at all possible... explain the Ralts and Gardevoir thing a bit more with it. Like I said, I like the story, and while I understand the very basis of the Psychic Pokemon showing an interest in her and whatnot... I dunno, I really wanted to know more about that. The Ralts kinda got dropped into her lap and it just felt weird. If you decide to do another short freeform, then you can use the Ralts in it. But you can't use it anywhere else! I will grade the second freeform if you decide to do it. If you have any questions about this option, feel free to PM me. Or, like I said above, you can take either one of those above and just go about your merry way. Your choice. |
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| Jance | Nov 30 2009, 06:59 PM Post #7 | ||||||||||||
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Mega Venusaur
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Hehe, thanks for grading it Steely. Bleh, this was mostly just for background info. The Ralts was just sort of a, "well hmm no harm in asking". xD Think I'll just try to find one in the wild. Might do more on it later, but for now gonna just take the .
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