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When Life NOX You Down
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Topic Started: Jun 9 2018, 01:38 PM (31 Views)
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airkiddo
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Jun 9 2018, 01:38 PM
Post #1
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Amateur
- Posts:
- 127
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- Superstars
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- #2,199
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- July 7, 2017
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Newark, NJ 27th May (Due to IRL injury, this promo was delayed, but I’m v happy to be able to put this up now)
Memorial Weekend celebrations have been in order all across the nation, and PRW Rage has made plenty of effort to commemorate the many brave American souls who lost their lives too soon. The arena is draped in patriotic decorations, and the commentary team show their pride through giant, bright pins on their shirts and blazers. The American spirit is enough to invoke powerful emotions and feelings of pride, for better and for worse, and on a day like this... it would be such a shame if somebody made a joke out of it all.
Unfortunately for the many proud Americans in the Nassau Memorial Coliseum, one very hard-headed man has it in mind to effectively snatch at the patriotic spirit and use it to further his own agenda; for those who have been following, 27th of May has been pinpointed by PRW’s latest pantomime villain Kurt Kiddo as a day of “mourning” for the career of Joey NOX. At the Superbattle, Kiddo famously assaulted NOX after the veteran stunned Kiddo by dumping him out of the main event battle royale. Kiddo steamed over it by ringside for a few minutes before returning and battering NOX with the steel steps, ultimately savaging him straight into a hospital bed and raising serious question marks over the future of the legend’s career.
NOX has been very open since then about his injuries, and the mental anguish it has put him through; and many fans of the beloved New Yorker have interpreted his words as those of a man on his way out.
A militant drum roll begins to stammer aloud, beckoning the arrival of a group of men clad as army guards carrying a casket towards the ring, with an American flag placed cautiously over the top. Nervous applause welcomes the men as they descend down the ramp, and a selection of ringside staff assist the men in sliding the casket into the ring. The men continue into the ring and stand in a guard of honor beside the casket.
Josh Brunswick: A very interesting sight here, folks... we have some kind of military guard bearing a casket now, carrying it down to ringside. Of course, it’s Memorial Weekend and tributes are in order for our brave boys... but I don’t know if Rage is the place for a military funeral?
Doug Smith: I mean, Josh... I think we all know what’s going on. The fans are clapping because they think they have to, but you can feel the uncertainty behind it. Respect is due for all the men and women who have fought for our country, but Josh... this isn’t about our soldiers.
One last man reaches into his pocket and from its depths he draws out a picture frame; upon placing it on the casket, a sharp camera zoom reveals it to feature a photo of an overweight, out of shape Joey NOX - maybe taken as many as 10 years ago - struggling for breath by a ring post. Ironic, considering the man no doubt behind this visual attack is hardly the bastion of peak fitness. Nonetheless, the appearance of this embarrassing photo brings the crowd into an uproar - this is not a celebration of American spirit, this is another twisted dig by Kurt Kiddo.
Josh Brunswick: Oh, of course it had to be this! That, folks, is a photo of Joey NOX, which means it’s pretty clear who’s behind all of this.
Doug Smith: Well, we all knew he was planning some sort of funeral, him being Kurt Kiddo of course! He had made it clear to “save the date” as such, and with it now being the 27th - the day he pointed as the “funeral” of Joey NOX... I mean, there shouldn’t be so many surprised faces in this crowd!
Dutifully, the Masshole comes out into attendance for this gross “funeral” display; striding towards the ring to a raining chorus of boos, strapped up in a tieless black suit with the top two buttons of his shirt undone, exposing a few ragged hairs from his fuzzy chest. Kiddo is hiding a smirk underneath his choppy goatee, one that does not waver even as the New Jersey crowd aggressively heckles him with choice words and the stray piece of missile trash.
Kurt moves towards the steel steps beside the ring and places a foot upon the first step, before stopping and dramatically stroking his beard. He stares into the crowd with a determined glare, then bows over and gently caresses the sterling steel in what must be a sick celebration of the damage he inflicted on Joey NOX a few weeks prior. Eventually, Kurt climbs up onto the apron and into the ring, calling out to the roadies for a microphone as the drum roll finally closes out.
Kurt Kiddo:New Jersey! Many warm welcomes. We’ve gathered here today in remembrance and celebration of Joey NOX, who has tragically left our wonderful world of wrestling. For many, Joey was an example of professional wrestling at its finest. He really was a hero to all of the mentally challenged and impaired! We always love to root for somebody who is “just like us”, and Joey was just that for people just like that.
The prodding insinuation from Kurt Kiddo that to be a fan of one of PRW’s most popular superstars in Joey NOX strikes a nerve with the Newark crowd, and his offensive words are returned with a sharp increase in volume of their jeering and heckling.
Kurt Kiddo:It’s a damn shame to say goodbye! He has a lot to look back on with pride... so many great performances, so many nearly-was moments. He was always so close to being the guy. Of course, we know that he never really did make it to that top floor of wrestling elite, but he did a good job of fooling everybody that he was at the time! His Undisputed title stint might just be the jammiest I’ve ever had to watch, and when guys like Jesse Drive and... “HALL OF FAMER” Mark Graves have held the title too... and Serial, for that matter? Wow. Impressive. Of course, you have Joey to thank for passing on the belt to Serial, like it was some kind of charitable donation. Joey might like to claim there’s a lot wrong with his Kentucky-fried heart, but at least he can say there’s a kindness in there underneath the arrhythmia... or whatever heart condition he’s claimed it to be this week.
Folks, Joey NOX has a heart of gold... and a rib cage made of glass. One thing he has done in this company, without a doubt... Joey has made some wonderful friends. His giving personality, and tendency to just lie down and roll over has endeared him to many of us backstage, and many folks from PRW past. Some of these fellas actually took the time to travel all the way to Newark tonight to pay their respects! Yeah, yeah, I know, right? How exciting! How very exciting! Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to hear their words of tribute towards the career of Joey NOX?
The Coliseum crowd shouts back at the Masshole, a negative reception that is equal parts boos and an audible “no!” Across the arena, many fans are caught by the camera proudly holding up signs celebrating their injured hero, shaking their bold written words towards the televisions with urgency.
Kurt Kiddo: Yes? Brilliant! Allow me to welcome to the stage... Mister Terry Bukowski!
The famous mullet makes its second PRW appearance of the month, as Bukowski steps musicless onto the grand stage at the Nassau Coliseum. He too is dressed sharply, in an oversized black suit more befitting of an early-‘00s NBA draft pick. In his clunky fists is a microphone, which he twirls impatiently as he awaits for the raucous crowd to hush again; there have been sparse moments in between the almost non-stop jeering since Kurt Kiddo’s arrival where the crowd has been quiet, otherwise the noise in the arena has been relentless.
Terry Bukowski: Joey NOX, wow... what can I say? That’s a man who knows how to play hurt. He might be from New York, but with the way he’s been dodging you, Kurt? Well, he may as well be playing for LA. Joey might just be the biggest dodger in American history since Muhammad Ali; let’s not act like his current ducking is anything new or special. He spent half of the time I was here totally inactive, for why - I don’t know, he was never a very straight person.
2012, 2013... we could never get a clear picture if he was fit and well enough to fight. Always in the dark. Now... the only difference between then and now, is Joey has actually been very open about his ducking. That’s a sign of maturity! We’ve seen it, Joey’s letters, his cries online, and all the sulking on the shoulders of Tsukishima and Sean Aries. I don’t doubt that this was common practice when any of us... myself, Mark Graves, Malik Logan... Serial... managed to get our hands on him. What’s the difference now? Well, this is a man who wants a way out. He can’t just put out a statement and call it quits like any other guy, oh no! There needs to be a scene, because it’s Joey NOX. He was always so good at making everything about him, hamfisting his name into any discussion and debate; kudos, Joey! And kudos to you too, Kurt! You gave Joey what he really wanted... an escape.
Bukowski’s words bring a great smile to Kurt’s lips, who has been listening on with a hand on his chest feigning feminine empathy.
Terry Bukowski: So, Kurt... thank you, for giving us all an opportunity to give this so-called “career” the celebration it deserves. Let’s have many raised glasses tonight for a future without Joey NOX.
Kurt Kiddo: Bravo, Terry! Such a wordsmith! I think you really captured how we all really feel about Joey NOX. Of course, Terry, you’re not the only man with words for our beloved one. Unfortunately, Adam Xclusiv couldn’t be here tonight, but he sends his condolences and says he’s gonna make a nutritious rat sandwich in honor of our fallen hero. Nonetheless, I have one more man eager to say his piece about PRW’s biggest tragedy tale. Please, everyone, let’s put those very active hands and mouths to good use and welcome back... Matthew Logan!
Josh Brunswick: Whaaat?! You can’t be serious? Matthew Logan?!
There’s an air in the arena of total shock and disbelief; could this be? Could this really be the return of the legendary Matthew Logan? The commentators sit stunned; Logan has been very active and involved in backstage matters, but his presence in a PRW ring has not been seen in years. There is no answer to Kurt’s call immediately, and that stays as such for a number of seconds, but eventually the curtains fly open as the former Undisputed champion Matthew Logan leaps out from the backstage in a very tight-fitted three-piece suit; with the jacket thrusted over the shoulder like one of the title that the Hall of Famer used to stake a claim to.
Josh Brunswick: Oh boy, it’s really him! The one, the only, Matthew Logan!
Doug Smith: Wow, now that’s a sight! Of course, Matthew is still a very big name backstage and has his fingers in most of the behind the scenes biz... but seeing him actually live and televised again? In front of thousands of fans? It’s definitely a day to remember.
His demeanor is much more excited and energised than that of Bukowski; suggesting that compared to his fellow ex-star that this is a man embracing the opportunity to be back in the sparkling spotlight. The two men on the stage come together for a tough-man handshake, before Bukowski passes on the microphone he had just used to Matthew for his speech.
Matthew Logan: Goooooood evening New Jersey! Wow, tough crowd! Do you guys think I went wrong slamming down a few bottles of moonshine before a funeral?
Kurt Kiddo: I’m only offended you didn’t invite me!
Matthew Logan: I barely know ya, you big oaf, and I still know you would’ve had a couple of drinks on the tour bus before you came in!
Kurt Kiddo: Ahhh, am I that easy to read?
Matthew Logan: Sadly seems that way, Kurt! Now, what isn’t easy to read is the speech I had prepared for this funeral thing, so I’m just gonna chuck out that whole thing and speak... from the heart. Joey, buddy... I’m gonna miss ya. I didn’t realise how much I appreciated you until I hung my boots up, and started watching PRW and Rage on the TV and behind the scenes instead. I would always tune in and watch you fight, because I loved to watch your head get bounced off the canvas night in and night out. You really make that canvas thud look stellar! You know, one of my favourite PRW memories was... now, here’s a blast from the past... remember the Koga Cup, ‘09? It could very well have been your PRW debut, and I just remember watching backstage thinking... who’s this goofy ass bean-eater cracking jokes when he should have been fighting? So, to watch you act so tough all night, only for JR to tap you out... oh, man, I still remember that face on the camera... it was magical. Thank you for giving me moments like that, Joey. I am truly thankful. And what I love - proving to me that you really do care about your fans - is that I got to see that face a hundred more times over the past nine years... most recently, of course, at the Superbattle! Joey, you have this super ugly kind of crying face and it cracks me up every time.
Kurt Kiddo: I know exactly the face you mean!
Kurt contorts his face into some sort of exaggerated, pained gurn; as his face twists into this grimace, he starts to hobble about the ring with a hand clutching his ribs in a total mimicry of Joey NOX.
Matthew Logan: Exactly like that! That’s perfect! Joey, thank you for the memories. The saddest part about all of this is that, unless you stop running from Kurt, then we may never see that face again. I hope this doesn’t have to be a real funeral, and that you give your loving fans - like me - one more opportunity to see that beautiful face again.
The New Jersey crowd still persist in their heckling of the men before them, and odd pockets start to chant the name of their hero.
Kurt Kiddo: Hey! Hey, quit your noise - this is a funeral!
Of course, the fans refuse to let up; their absolute displeasure for Kurt’s disrespectful display has left them completely sour, and the calls for Joey NOX continue to get louder and louder.
Kurt Kiddo: Aight, aight! You want Joey NOX? Let me lay down some cold facts for you - you can’t have Joey NOX! He’s finished, finished! That man is too scared to lace up again, because I hurt him like he’s never been hurt before. I’ve always promised that if somebody gets in the way of me... and my journey... my legacy... that you’ll quickly come to regret it. Joey tested that... so I broke him. I cut years off his career, and now he knows he’s only got one more... maybe two more fights left. And he’s fighting one of them now in that god damn hospital bed!
But you know what? I’m with you guys! I wanna see Joey NOX back too, dammit! There’s a part of me - the smart part - that reasons that Joey is done, over and out, and that he wants no more to do with this game. So be it... but the other side of me wants to believe that Joey... that Joey, is half the man that he tries to claim he is. Any man would want to get revenge on the guy who stuck them in the emergency room, right? I put him in a feeding tube, but he wants to say he’s bigger than revenge now? No, Joey. Nobody’s bigger than Summerfest. You can keep running away, man... but I hope it eats at you. Because if you call it quits now, Joe... then you’ve left the business with the reputation of a scared and broken man... and I take your place in PRW, and forever be remembered as the man who retired Joey NOX.
Kurt throws down the microphone onto the canvas beneath him, and trots back towards the stage with his eyes on Logan and Bukowski. The trio come together, and before departing through the curtain they take a dramatic pause to stare at the giant Summerfest sign glowing above the ring.
Doug Smith: Strong, strong words from Kurt Kiddo. The challenge has been laid down, and it’s clear now that Kurt wants a piece of Joey again... but the real question is whether or not Joey will take it, if he’s ready to come back... that’s if we ever actually see him in a wrestling ring again.
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KURT KIDDO (6-0)
JOHN MONTANA (1-1)
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