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Let's Fire Some Salvos
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Topic Started: Apr 12 2018, 03:17 PM (83 Views)
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Joey NOX
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Apr 12 2018, 03:17 PM
Post #1
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OVER 9000!!!
- Posts:
- 9,572
- Group:
- Administrators
- Member
- #608
- Joined:
- March 2, 2009
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We're in the Rabobank Arena for the Bakersfield Battle press conference and the attention has fallen upon the backstage area. Long before the festivities where the press and the cameras will have all eyes (and lenses) on the wrestlers, we're backstage as Stacy Cornbread has managed to corral Joey NOX! The PRW Hall of Fame resident is dressed in a nice suit with a killer cumberbund and some bitchin' lapels, his eyes clearer than they've been recently when fans have seen him. His standing upright with a big smile on his face while behind the duo, some production people are working on setting up for the big press conference. This is a big weekend for PRW and it's all leading up to next week's amazing Superbattle clash where 20 wrestlers will chase the opportunity to challenge Kevin Mordrad in a one on one clash at Summerfest. The tensions are beginning to escalate but it's Joey NOX who has the attention of PRW TV currently. Stacy Cornbread has her mic fiddling in her hands and her TV smile is broken out as she prepares to lead us off.
Stacy Cornbread: Ladies and gentlemen, Stacy Cornbread here on the eve of the Bakersfield Battle and I'm surprisingly standing by Joey NOX! Now Joey, a lot of fans are excited about Superbattle and the Bakersfield Battle and the upcoming PRW schedule so I'll turn it around and ask you what YOU would like to discuss first?
NOX: Well the Bakersfield Battle is why I'm here so we can begin there. It's on iPPV on Saturday and I know it's a busy weekend but this is an event not to be missed! You've got a 20 woman battle royal opening up the show with the winner getting any sort of match they so want. Once THAT'S done, you've got Sean Aries vs Vincent Knight following that up and then you've got after that a match between Copperhead vs Parker Cage Summers in a match I'm very excited and intrigued about. All of that leads up to the world's biggest clash as we've got the Fight For Freedom! The BCC of Allan Proctor, Lambo Wilson, Los Rancheros Locos and then Ashton Masters! They're facing my personal friends headlined by Alex LeBlanc, Jorge Vera, Douglas Witherdall and the GenEx duo! This is the match I'm most excited about quite possibly all damn year! I want to see Alex get revenge! WE ALL WANT TO SEE THE REVENGE! So we an start there Stacy, we can start by talking about how Alex LeBlanc is going to lead a team to war and make no mistake it WILL be a war!
After getting that intense plug out of the way, Joey NOX adjusts his tie and stews for a while as his now flush face struggles to get back to a shade of normalcy. Given his closeness with Alex LeBlanc, I suppose it's no surprise Joey might be a touch worked up. With pipes being moved around behind them and cables being worked into place, Stacy Cornbread moves onward with what is HER real issue of contention.
Stacy Cornbread: Well with that said Joey, I'm quite intrigued by what Superbattle brings to the table for you. It seemed like we had seen the last of you in December when you left the ring defeated by Ata Tatupu. What brings you back out and for a match as dangerous as Superbattle?
NOX: Well Stace I.....
Joey goes to say something but the words won't come out. He takes a deep breath and fights off a little head shake, his eyes looking up at the sky. His tongue visually rolls around in his cheek for a few seconds as Cornbread offers up a "Joey?" while he stalls. With a clearing of his throat, Joey's smirk returns to his face and he claps his hands as loudly as humanly possible RIGHT into the microphone like a dick.
NOX: You know what Stacy? I've done this too much. I've sat around and talked about the how or the why and I've TRIED to figure out the how or the why for far too long now. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how or why I'm here because I AM here. Better yet rather I'm going to be there in Australia for Superbattle. Superbattle is the toughest match of the year Stace, it's 20 big strong men AND women out there battling and scrapping. People get hurt, people disappear and are never seen again after Superbattle! Think of all the guys who were in Superbattle last year and then remind me how many of them are around? Where's Mercer? Ace? Where's all those guys? Gone, right? Because here's the thing; Superbattle changes a person. It's not a battle royal it's THE battle royal, it's the BIGGEST battle royal because what's at the very end of the line is a shot at the title. I've been there before and now I'm ready to go and do this whole thing again! It ain't about HOW or WHY, it's about what IS and what IS is that Joey NOX is going to win the god damn Superbattle.
Stacy Cornbread: You've been honest that you haven't exactly spent a ton of time looking up the rest of the opponents in Superbattle. Has that changed or are you still going in blind?
NOX shrugs his mighty shoulders and flashes a little smirk at the camera. Cornbread shoots him a quizzical look as a hand dolly is being wheeled behind the two toward the stage. Despite the validity of Cornbread's question, Joey's response opts to take it a whole different direction.
NOX: You know what, Stacy? The truth is that I don't need to spend a whole lot of time trying to look up these folks. They gotta watch me headlining Summerfest and win the title and my whole history----I can fit most of these people's PRW histories into a youtube compilation. The archive's aren't that deep, ya know what I mean?
NOX shrugs his shoulders again and strokes his goatee quickly. Stacy goes to say something but with his right hand, NOX reaches out and directs the microphone back towards his face. With a roll of her eyes, Stacy Cornbread stands there and let's Joey continue onward, perhaps realizing that her duty is going to require her to be as noninvasive as possible right now.
NOX: NOW I have been listening because those who don't listen are lost in this business. There's been a lot of people talking and I suppose I have some...retorts for some of these people. Well they haven't said anything special to me but I've heard some words and I've been paying attention just a little bit!
We can begin with Singh. Now first and foremost, I have nothing against you. Hell of a sell, right? I have nothing against you, I find you very entertaining and I think you've got a bright future in wrestling. You've already run the internet champions which hey, kudos to you. I think that's a tremendous launching point for you and I truly believe you're going to have a big long career. The PROBLEM, Miss, is that it's not your time just yet. You've got a long road ahead to prove yourself and Superbattle isn't the place to prove yourself. Remember this! Nobody has won Superbattle within the first year of their debut! NOW maybe you're the exception that proves the rule----but I'm in the match so that's not gonna happen. I've even heard some inklings that you want #1 overall? Foolish but impressive. Think about that a bit more before you commit to it because stupid doesn't last too long in this business, Singh. I look forward to competing in there with you.
NOX winks at the camera quickly and then before Cornbread can get the mic back towards her own face, Joey leans in and continues onward. With a finger toward the camera, Joey NOX moves onto his next target in the Superbattle.
NOX: Alexander Owens! BIG MAN! We've had our wars back and forth and I have no problem admitting that you got me one on one. Here's the problem though, pal----you got way too much on your plate right now for me to truly believe you've got what it takes right now to win Superbattle. Look I'm truly sorry about your Dad. You have my sympathy about that BUT Superbattle isn't the place to be polite and every single time somebody in this Bane related foolishness screws with you, my chances of winning go up slowly but surely. Good luck with Dixie but when I see you at Superbattle? Easy light work, county boy.
Again Stacy Cornbread tries to snag the mic back but Joey pulls it back towards his own face, chuckling into it.
NOX: Oh and what's more! This is a big match with major title implications! A big time match, Owens. When's the last time you won a big match? Maybe that was me but I had been out for six months. How many times did it take you to beat Bane? 0-6? If you were Undisputed title material, you would've won it by now right? I know we're not supposed to expose the flaws of our contemporaries and I respect the hell out of you but not since Jonestown has there been this much choking and gagging. This is a big match and YOU, sir, will shrink like you're taking the Polar Bear Plunge.
Once more with feeling, Joey NOX throws in a shrug. Cornbread again tries to find a way to get the mic back but NOX isn't done yet. Each word is starting to flow as the confidence is bubbling in a way it hasn't for him in quite some time. He's feeling it right now.
NOX: Mr. Rider! Look I get it man! It's personal for you and I can respect that! I can respect revenge because we've all been there before. I've been there, Pat's been there, Sean, Alex LeBlanc etc etc etc. ALL of the greats have struggled with balancing personal with business. You have my respect and even my sympathies for that challenge.
Stacy Cornbread with a sigh: Is there a but coming?
NOX: I wasn't going to mention anything else BUUUUUUT lemme learn ya something up, pal. I did not BUILD my reputation on my PRW stake and I did not come back to be apart of YOUR story. This whole tale of revenge is sweet and all but I'm not getting my gear on and showing off my abs to a sold out crowd in Australia to be apart of your personal triumph story. Sorry but not happening! And a quote unquote fingers goin' crazy here "Declaration Of War?!" Are you 12? I personally didn't receive a declaration of war in the mail so I guess I'm not invited to this. I hope it came in Comic Sans so we know you're REALLY serious about this whole war business. With red lettering and a whole lot of bold font to really let us know that this is a serious declaration of the highest order.
Cornbread by now has abandoned her challenge to try and get the mic back from Joey. She's accepted that he's snatched this segment away and all she has to do is hold the microphone and let him roll.
NOX: Matt Stevenson? I mean I guess you're in there too. I don't really have much to say to you other than to go "Okay" and move on. I know you've flirted with the X-Division championship before and anybody who gets on that level is surely good. To steal a phrase from Pat Cooper to his own son, "I'm not missing out on anything, You're just not that thrilling."
Stacy Cornbread: Anybody else?
NOX: Mystery entrants? First off anybody who has to rely on subterfuge in a battle royal has taken an L already. Second off, when is the LAST time a mystery entrant won a god damn thing at any sort of battle royal?! The mystery entrant can be Ace Andrews, Vincent Knight, Vincent Price, David Price, David Boreanaz I just don't give a damn because they are irrelevant. Quit hidin' and announce yourselves or stay hidin' and announce yourself as balless gutless pussies.
Then just to be a dick, Joey NOX does the Hiroshi "Kamikaze" Tanaka big balls dance for good measure. He fights off a chuckle and straightens up, big smirk on his face.
NOX: That doesn't even touch on guys I really like who are planning to make an appearance like a Dan Bennett or my best friend Alex LeBlanc. Or the guys like Kurt Kiddo or the Oakster who I don't know but can only assume are PRW quality. There's some spots still unannounced so I'm BETTING we'll get some more sizzling additions. The Onslaught? Who knows what they're gonna be up to this Superbattle.
Figuring that Joey NOX might be running out of steam, Stacy Cornbread tries one last time to get the mic back to her side so she can wrap up. Unfortunately for her, NOX is a step too quick and he directions it back towards himself with the smile on his face slowly fading. He's a bit more serious now and his body language has undergone a seismic immediate shift. With his best serious voice, NOX decides that he's going to wrap this up himself.
NOX: Ya know I could be here all day but I got stuff to do so let me just bring us back to this and it's what I've been saying since I started talking. I don't know how nor do I know why. I just know that I'm doing this. I know I don't HAVE to do this----but if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna win it. The rest of y'all figure out who wants to come in second.
Stacy: Well Jo-
Before Cornbread can get her final question or wrap up line out, Joey NOX just walks off from her and off towards the stage for the press conference is being set up. Cornbread shoots him the angriest look she can muster up and then fights through it to wrap this up solo, microphone pretty much at her waist.
Stacy Cornbread: Well fans, you heard it from Joey NOX. Remember to check out the Bakersfield Battle live on internet pay per view on April 14th and of course tune in to Superbattle live from Australia on April 21st!
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Hot Dawg!
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