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It may be Summerfest but a man can have Desperate Measures
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Topic Started: Jun 30 2017, 03:18 PM (70 Views)
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Joey NOX
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Jun 30 2017, 03:18 PM
Post #1
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OVER 9000!!!
- Posts:
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- Administrators
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- #608
- Joined:
- March 2, 2009
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After the day of hype and bluster, PRW's camera crew has finally arrived in the hallowed halls of the Joey NOX estate. Standing in the backyard of Joey NOX's 3 acre home, Dan Stevenson has his mic at the ready and his finest suit on. Standing there next to him in the oppressive New York heat is Joey NOX, the current #1 contender and FOREVER PRW Hall of Fame resident. NOX is shirtless and looking as only he can look with the Jodeci boots and big swim trunks on. While Stevenson looks beyond perturbed by the heat, Joey NOX's body language is relatively calm. He looks composed and dare I say relaxed while he stands next to a very sweaty looking Dan Stevenson. PRW's ace interviewer wipes his forehead and then nods at the camera, ready to kick this bad boy off under the wonderful sun.
Dan Stevenson: Well hello PRW Fans! I'm here with Joey NOX and Joey, I know you've said a bit of what you wanted to earlier but I've flown all the way out to New York to get your words.
NOX: Well Dan! I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Dan Stevenson: Ex-cuse me?
NOX: I'm sorry, Dan! I kind of poured myself out in front of the cameras earlier! I just don't have much to say.
Stevenson takes a big deep breath and looks ready to give Joey NOX a piece of mind. As NOX smirks and the sun rays pours down on them, Dan Stevenson takes in one more big breath and lets it out slowly. He goes to say something but NOX is quick to cut him off with a finger up.
NOX: BUT since you did fly out here, I do have some things to say. Just a few brief things, okay?
Dan Stevenson: Joey I flew out here from Puerto Rico to get your words, you owe me something.
NOX: And I'm going to give you something, Dan. Let's not go over the whole afraid thing again. I already handled why that was stupid and why Jesse Drive is stupid. I won't go through that again. Instead let me just ask WHAT Jesse Drive is doing to prepare for this? Who is he training with? IS he training? I she just staring into the mirror and jerking off to the sound of his own voice? LOOK AT THE BODY I GOT GOING ON! Sean Aries says the BEST abs in PRW and that man ain't kiddin'!
NOX flexes and does the old Iron Sheik slap the chest gimmick while Dan Stevenson stands there looking rather unimpressed.
NOX: I'm out here training, Dan. I've spent EVERY single day when I'm not on the road out here working out. Doing all sorts of cross training between old school warming up routines to new school analytics based training. NOW I don't have Patrick Slaughter's routine down yet but one of these days, I'll catch up to the guy. I'm taking this seriously even if I believe that the skill disparity between me and Jesse Drive is so wide you could drive a Subaru through it. I'm BOILING out here in this heat and getting all kinds of intense cardio in, the kind of cardio that people would kill to get in. I'm never going to be the most muscular guy in here but I'm the best conditioned to actually put in the time to win the fucking belt. I'M THE GUY WHO IS SACRIFICING HIS WEEKENDS TO GET IN THE BEST CONDITION POSSIBLE!
Dan Stevenson: Well I'm sure Jesse Drive is in fantastic shape as well!
NOX: REALLY?! WE SURE?! All I see him doing is knocking up skeezers and talking to mirrors. Now look there's nothing wrong with that! I just know what I'm doing---and I'm not training like a scared man. I'm training like a hungry man. I'm training like a FIEND, like a man who is 100% ready. And that's just physically! Mentally? I mean the other day I had a four hour conversation with Alex LeBlanc entirely around Jesse Drive. Around the way he moves, the way he sets up his moves. I spent time on skype with the retired legend that is Matthew Logan, getting his insight on Jesse Drive. Sean Aries? We've talked Jesse Drive consistently. See it's an obsession, Dan. It's about finding out how to beat a guy who has the goal that I want. I've become OBSESSED with finding a way to beat this fucking guy.
And NOX takes a big deep breath. He cringes and shakes his head, almost conflicted by whatever he's about to say next. Realizing that there may be a story upcoming, Dan Stevenson presses the issue, not giving Joey a chance to back out.
Dan Stevenson: Something on your mind, Joey?
NOX, big deep breath: You know Dan....I'm a prideful guy. Too prideful sometimes. And passion or coincidence has prompted men to say that pride can tear a guy apart. This is Summerfest, Dan. This is the MAIN EVENT with the TITLE OF MY LIFE on the line. Sometimes pride has to be put aside. PRIDE? Pride has gone out the window, Dan. Pride's gone out the window, across the rooftops and run away. I can't be prideful here and sometimes when you're not prideful, you wind up buddying up with people you'd rather prefer not to.
Dan Stevenson: And WHO is this pe-
Dan Stevenson's eyes grow wide. He takes a big gulp and stammers as walking onto the shot is............
Beat Kurosawa!
Dan Stevenson: NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE, JOEY! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU'RE SOLITICING ANY SORT OF ADVICE FROM THIS GUY?! BEAT KUROSAWA?! JUST BECAUSE HE'S GIVEN JESSE DRIVE AND OWEN DRIVE A TON OF PROBLEMS ON THE IPPV SCENE IT DOESN'T MEAN HE HAS A PLACE HERE!
Beat Kurosawa, a sweaty speedo wearing IN HIS FUCKING GEAR man, throws his arm around Joey NOX and cackles. You can see the confliction on Joey's face as he fights off his internal feelings. NOX takes a big deep breath and offers a small sigh on top of that. Beat Kurosawa continues to cackle and laugh while NOX speaks, his eyes darting between Beat and the camera in front of him.
NOX: Dan, I'm trying to win a title here. I don't AGREE nor CONDONE everything Beat Kurosawa says nor everything he does. I just know that he's gotten under the skin of Jesse Drive everytime he gets. I know he's a big strong powerful man who can help me win. I've gone out and recruited the BIGGEST, BADDEST DUDE I CAN to help me prep for him. And you know what, Dan? Sometime after 4th of July, because I want Jesse to enjoy his LAST 4th of July as champion, I want him to head to the ring and if he wants to call me out he can. You know why, Dan? Because I'm not afraid of him. I'm not afraid of Jesse Drive and I'll look him in his eye and I'll SPIT in it if I have to just to get the point across. I don't fear Jesse Drive. The only thing I fear is what I'm going to do to him when he loses.
Because there's no woman, no amount of powder, no amount of smoke and mirrors and NO amount of booze that will help him get over that.
And then unprovoked, Beat Kurosawa starts to shout in Japanese! Dan Stevenson struggles to get the mic over to Beat's mouth but thankfully Beat Kurosawa is so loud and aggressive that he's basically bellowing over him.
Beat Kurosawa (shouting in Japanese but with the help of subtitles): LISTEN HERE CANADA! LISTEN TO ME BOY! LISTEN TO THE WORDS THAT COME OUT OF MY MOUTH! YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT I'M HELPING JOEY NOX BEAT YOU! WITHOUT ME? 50/50 CHANCE HE CAN WIN AT MOST! WITH ME? 100 PERCENT, I WIN! YOU CANNOT WIN, CANADA! YOU'RE TOO SLOW, TOO SOFT! YOU WILL NEED HELP! I GUARANTEE A ONE HUNDRED PERCENT VICTORY! WHEN HE BEATS YOU, I'M GOING TO STAND OVER YOUR BODY AND I'M GOING TO URINATE ON YOUR FACE! THEN I'M GOING TO URINATE ON YOUR WIFE! THEN I'M GOING TO SLAP THEM BOTH AND YOUR BROTHER? I'M GOING TO TAKE HIM BACK TO JAPAN WITH ME! OWEN KUROSAWA, THE GIESHA! HE WILL WORK AT THE HOTEL AND GIVE NURU MASSAGES TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS! YOU CANNOT STOP ME, CANADA! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT BEAT KUROSAWA AND NOW YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME! YOU'RE SAD! I AM THE BEST! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
And with that Beat Kurosawa throws in a throat slice for good measure and cackles ominously while Joey NOX fights off a little smirk!
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Hot Dawg!
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