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Help! Missing Opponent!
Topic Started: Jun 20 2017, 03:58 PM (71 Views)
Joey NOX
Member Avatar
OVER 9000!!!
Today's trip into Joey NOX land comes to us from the wonderful Grand Hyatt San Francisco, the best hotel PRW could hook its stars up in as it pertains to its tightwad budget. Standing in the lobby you have Dan Stevenson, sent by the company to partake in the festivities to promote Summerfest, as the official #1 contender to Jesse Drive's Undisputed Championship Joey NOX. Stevenson is wearing a fantastic suit and he's got a PRW microphone in his hand, mic pointed in the direction of Joey NOX. On the other hand, Joey's got on a shirt that pretty much sets the tone of the interview and of his mood. There on the chest of NOX's shirt is a missing poster. With Jesse Drive's photo smackdab in the middle, you have Missing! Have You Seen This Man? on top of it. Next to the photo of JD, we have Jesse's name and a collection of basic information such as Jesse's hometown (Toronto, Ontario, Canada) and his height and weight. Finally on the bottom of the shirt, it reads Reward: Summerfest Championship Match underneath it. With a big shitheading smirk on his face, Joey NOX makes sure to stick his chest out so people can get a good look at the shirt. NOX looks at his shirt and he gives the camera a little wink as Stevenson gives him a big deep breath


Dan Stevenson: Well folks, I'm here with the #1 contender to the Undisputed Championship, Joey NOX! Now Joey I believe we need to start with the obvious and discuss that fine apparel you're wearing.


NOX: Oh? Well what do you wanna talk about here, Dan?


Dan Stevenson: Well the shirt, Joey!


NOX, sarcastically: Oh this old thing? Well I just think it's appropriate!


Dan Stevenson: I'm sure the fans know better than that.


NOX: WELL I'm out here in San Francisco trying to do some spots to promote Summerfest which is the biggest show of the year. I've got the opportunity to potentially push PRW towards a big time sell out and I'm chasing that. Be it letters, tweets,
talking to you or whatever, I'm out here getting it going and pushing. If you're at the tp of the card, you gotta be willing to get in front of the camera and talk. You don't see OWEN DRIVE hiding out, do ya? He's on the frontlines talking up a storm and he's trying to make sure people remember his match. You don't see Alexander Owens hiding right now. You know what I'm saying here?


So I'm the headliner, man. Summerfest rests upon my shoulders and it rests upon Jesse and I've got NO Jesse Drive! I've got a missing opponent! I'm concerned for the guy and I'm even offering a reward if somebody can go and find Jesse Drive. I don't know if Jesse Drive wen tot Syberia or if he's in Toronto or if he's in Alabama or if he's on the moon or who knows? I'm just confused and hey, I'm even a little bit concerned for the guy.



Dan Stevenson: In Jesse Drive's defense, it is Father's Day weekend a-


NOX, interrupting: Listen Dan, stop right there. First and foremost if the words are true, congratulations to Jesse Drive on the recent announcement that he's going to be a Dad. I'm proud of him and wish him well----but his girlfriend or wife or whatever is pregnant. There IS no baby as of right now! He has no reason to be hiding! Are you trying to tell me Jesse Drive is hanging out with HIS dad? Are you really trying to bullshit me there,
Dan?



Dan Stevenson: Well I was also going to say that Jesse Drive is expected to be holding a press conference in his native Toronto, Canada as well.


Joey NOX hits Dan Stevenson with a big eye roll. He shakes his head and then holds his hand up, stopping Stevenson before he can keep on rolling through his statements.


NOX: Okay so he's doing a presser in Canada? Cool! The show is in San Francisco so what's that going to mean? Are you trying to tell me the Canadians are going to fly over to San Fran and buy tickets? Are they going to buy it on PPV? Is Jesse Drive talking to the Royal Mounted Media to try and sell this show going to suddenly do numbers?


Stevenson goes to say something but NOX just scowls at him and shakes his head. Stevenson takes a deep breath and he adjusts the microphone in his hands. He gives Joey NOX a little head nod and when the mic is pointed at him, NOX goes back to talking as crisp as he could.


NOX: Dan, you know what's annoying me about all of this? Every single time you and I stand here, you mention a lot of excuses. Every single time Jesse Drive gets in front of a camera, I just feel like I'm getting a collection of excuses. Everything he says is an excuse or a but or an if! I'm not going to get into this with you, Dan. I didn't win Superbattle for excuses. I didn't win Superbattle and fight through Mercer, Cage, Knight, Ace, Owen Drive and countless others to get to this point to HEADLINE THE BIGGEST SHOW OF THE YEAR JUST FOR MY OPPONENT TO GO MISSING! Jesse Drive got in the ring with me and he yelled in my face and I LAUGHED in his face. I LAUGHED at his words----so he stopped talking. He just went and gave me his best shot and I absolutely laughed at him. I laughed IN his face like he was some kind of a joke. NOW I KNOW JESSE'S NOT A JOKE! YOU KNOW HE'S NOT A JOKE....SO WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE A JOKE?


Dan Stevenson: Joey, I just said he might have a press conference.


NOX: OH COME ON! WHAT ELSE IS NEXT? HIS DOG ATE HIS INTERVIEWS? ARE HIS GHOST WRITERS BUSY?! Come on, man. Just go and stop it. He's with his girlfriend or he's enjoying Father's Day or he's preparing his own press conference or he's sick or he's got menstrual cramps or whatever the hell it is that Jesse Drive hides behind to avoid a camera. Think about it, Dan! Think about it if Jesse Drive got in my face and yelled at me and I was SO SHOOK why am I the one out here talking? Why is HE the one hiding?


Dan Stevenson: I'm only telling you what I know!


NOX: Well you're the VOICE of the company right now and if all you know is nothing then how good are we? How good is all of this?


Dan Stevenson: Joey I just don't know what else to tell you!


NOX: How about you tell me that Jesse Drive is going to respond to me?! Hmm?!


Joey NOX makes a thinking face and calmly pats his chin, looking into the camera like a big shithead. Stevenson goes to say something and Joey gives him a look which shuts him down before he can speak. Instead Joey NOX gets deadly serious. He takes a breath and composes himself. His eyes focus on the camera and now Joey is turned completely to the viewer. With an ultra serious tone to his voice, Joey NOX begins to speak not to the audience but to the man who holds the title himself.


NOX: Jesse Drive, I absolutely know you're going to hear this because let's be real you seem to hear everything I say. I hope that as I'm talking, something inside of you is building and bubbling. I hope that as I'm speaking, your eyes are filled with something more than just the dim bulb look you get on your face from time to time. Hell I hope these words sting you. I hope this shirt I'm wearing burns you. I hope you're sitting there listening and living off of every single word I'm saying and I HOPE TO GOD that every single word I'm saying draws something out of you. I want you to understand that I'm not going away. I'm not going to be retreating into a hole so you can try to talk WHEN you want to. I dictate this dance and if my words HURT you then that's a good thing because it means you still care! If my words are burning your ass then it means you STILL have something deep inside of you that cares. I HOPE my words are irking you so much that the first thing you're going to do is run in front of a camera and tell me off because if I was in your shoes, I'd absolutely positively be doing that. I hope EVERY sentence I'm uttering makes the hairs on your arms stand up because Jesse, this is Summerfest. This is the BIG one.


So either you're going to rise up to the challenge and make me regret everything I'm saying or not only is PRW going to have a missing champion but YOU, Jesse Drive, are going to have to acknowledge that YOU have a missing heart. I'm done, Dan.



Stevenson goes to say something else but Joey just waves him off angrily and walks towards the elevators of the hotel. Dan Stevenson looks nervous as NOX has bounced on the interview and left him standing there in the hotel with his proverbial dick in his hand. With a forced smile, Stevenson nervously shifts from one leg to the other and wraps this whole thing up.


Dan Stevenson: Well there you have it, PRW fans. Joey NOX has spoken! Be sure to stay tuned for all of the PRW news and happenings as we quickly approach Summerfest from San Francisco, California!
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