Sacred Stones Comment Thread

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Sacred Stones Comment Thread
Topic Started: Sep 24 2006, 12:04 PM (608 Views)
Iko	Sep 24 2006, 12:04 PM Post #1
pandaaaas Posts: 6,881 Group: Elite Member Member #238 Joined: September 8, 2005	Alright.. I will be starting the story soon.. so this is where you will be telling me abour how you feel about it.. Be gentle lol pin this please..



Bebi Vegeta	Sep 24 2006, 06:36 PM Post #2
:Don't Speak: Posts: 8,332 Group: Elite Member Member #6 Joined: April 2, 2005	Chapter one was ok, just keep it about that long or longer so I can actually want to read it. It's hard reading somthing long unless I print it out, one of these days I got to read Ruby's story. I just can't get motivated enouph to come on and read. But you started it out nicely.



Iko	Sep 24 2006, 06:38 PM Post #3
pandaaaas Posts: 6,881 Group: Elite Member Member #238 Joined: September 8, 2005	Really, alright thanks Darrin.. well I hope it will be good! sooner or later.



Syarith	Sep 24 2006, 06:43 PM Post #4
Posts: 9,022 Group: Super Moderator Member #211 Joined: August 5, 2005	Alright, question. Ruby claims that she and Jess aren't like that, and yet Jess has Ruby attack me because of those two damn stones. It doesnt make sense. Jess tells Ruby to attack me, which Ruby does, and then Ruby claims that they arent like that after she attacks me? Sounds like she was lying, but whatever. It was a pretty good start.



Iko	Sep 24 2006, 06:47 PM Post #5
pandaaaas Posts: 6,881 Group: Elite Member Member #238 Joined: September 8, 2005	lol what I meant was that they aren't usually like that but they knew that you were up to something so they had to do something becaue they thought that you were going to kill them lol



Stormin Norman	Sep 26 2006, 08:39 PM Post #6
Posts: 4,956 Group: Elite Member Member #279 Joined: October 3, 2005	I just got through the first chapter, and frankly, this is a piece of sh*t. There's numerous spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors, and other typos that could easily have been fixed if you just read this over before you posted it. Honestly, this is taking you right back to the n00bish typing you were doing a year ago. Fix your mechanics, then maybe I can comment on the story itself.



Iko	Sep 27 2006, 08:38 AM Post #7
pandaaaas Posts: 6,881 Group: Elite Member Member #238 Joined: September 8, 2005	lol You wren't paying attention Norman.. I had two copyies.. one which is the one you read and two A revised perfect and longer copy that Amy Accidently deleted.. So yeah...



Stormin Norman	Sep 27 2006, 09:45 AM Post #8
Posts: 4,956 Group: Elite Member Member #279 Joined: October 3, 2005	Iko Kuzaki Sep 27 2006, 11:38 AM lol You wren't paying attention Norman.. I had two copyies.. one which is the one you read and two A revised perfect and longer copy that Amy Accidently deleted.. So yeah... Then fix it. If you have it saved to your comp, just copy/paste the right version in that post. If not, it's still not hard to fix it again. <_<



Iko	Sep 27 2006, 09:59 AM Post #9
pandaaaas Posts: 6,881 Group: Elite Member Member #238 Joined: September 8, 2005	lol.. Yeah But I kinda lost it. So i'm just going to continue on..



Reed	Sep 28 2006, 06:20 PM Post #10
"Be kind to others, yet kindest to yourself"~TMR Posts: 4,847 Group: Elite Member Member #11 Joined: April 2, 2005	Well, okay start. You didn't PM me so I could edit it, though! Ah well. But the name's unoriginal. Um...can I say Fire Emblem 8: The Sacred Stones? XP



Iko	Sep 29 2006, 10:13 AM Post #11
pandaaaas Posts: 6,881 Group: Elite Member Member #238 Joined: September 8, 2005	So thats why it sounded familair.. yeah.. THe revised copy and such got deleted.. so I'll just be gonig to the second chapter



Stormin Norman	Sep 29 2006, 12:20 PM Post #12
Posts: 4,956 Group: Elite Member Member #279 Joined: October 3, 2005	Iko Kuzaki Sep 29 2006, 01:13 PM So thats why it sounded familair.. yeah.. THe revised copy and such got deleted.. so I'll just be gonig to the second chapter You know that's a really bad idea. Dmitry's post in this thread talks about plot points that aren't in the version that's up now, but were obviously in the version that got deleted. How can you expect people who never saw the complete version to understand the story if they missed these key points in the plot? You need to get a complete, revised Chapter 1 up before you move on.



Syarith	Sep 29 2006, 03:54 PM Post #13
Posts: 9,022 Group: Super Moderator Member #211 Joined: August 5, 2005	Stormin Norman Sep 29 2006, 02:20 PM Iko Kuzaki Sep 29 2006, 01:13 PM So thats why it sounded familair.. yeah.. THe revised copy and such got deleted.. so I'll just be gonig to the second chapter You know that's a really bad idea. Dmitry's post in this thread talks about plot points that aren't in the version that's up now, but were obviously in the version that got deleted. How can you expect people who never saw the complete version to understand the story if they missed these key points in the plot? You need to get a complete, revised Chapter 1 up before you move on. No. I commented after I read the revised copy that Amy accidentally deleted by mistake, and my post in this thread refers to how Jess said "Ruby, now!" and had Ruby attack me, when Ruby says they don't like to fight, either. But in my post, I was asking Logan why Jess had Ruby attack me if they're not like that either. It kind of seemed pointless, and was a lie, so it kind of twisted the plot a little bit, and I agree with you, Norman. But, maybe Kylee could revise this Chapter 1 as she did his original version that Amy deleted by mistake. But yeah. Kylee or someone else could edit it again, and then you could move on. But, of course, that wasn't in this incorrect version of chapter 1.



MiladyRan	Sep 29 2006, 05:35 PM Post #14
The Playful Wind Posts: 3,660 Group: Elite Member Member #495 Joined: April 10, 2006	I had editted it before, for grammar, spelling and punctuation. But everytime I get done, something stupid happens and it never get's posted. Dx
	Be a Ran Fan


Reed	Sep 30 2006, 04:16 AM Post #15
"Be kind to others, yet kindest to yourself"~TMR Posts: 4,847 Group: Elite Member Member #11 Joined: April 2, 2005	How about I just go and edit his post of it? Grammar Freak is on the job! Edit: Done! You can't indent or even space for indents, so I separated the paragraphs of his story. I'm sure you'll find it easier to read now. And Logan, I'll talk to you about your mistakes so people don't have to edit it sometime.



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