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Chuck Norris
Topic Started: Jun 4 2007, 09:40 PM (638 Views)
Pierrot
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Chuck Norris Jokes anyone?
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Chuck Norris should have died 10 years ago.. but Death doesn't have the balls to tell him that.
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smurfdude
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Oh buddy you just created a monster.....

Chuck Norris killed 2 stones with 1 bird
Chuck Norris can speak brail(duno how to spell it)
Chuck Norris counted to infinity.... twice
Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris
If Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris fought Chuck Norris would win. PERIOD!
Everytime you masterbate Chuck Norris punches a mexican baby.
Chuck Norris made minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
Chuck Norris dosnt turn butter he roundhouse kicks a cow and butter comes out.

Well I have to go to school now so you've been spared.
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Love come shine over the mountains. Love come shine over the sea. Love shine on my baby, then I'll know exactly who's for me.
"Hey Sendo should people read Hajime No Ippo?"
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Huzzah
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oh, a chuck norris thread? are you ready for this!?

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
The best part of waking up, is not folgers in your cup. It's knowing Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep
When the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in only three moves
Chuck Norris has already been to mars. That's why there's no signs of life there
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only believes in the element of surprise
Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. They are now called The Islands
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits
Chuck Norris doesnt read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins
Chuck Norris can drown a fish
The last digit of Pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the world down
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live
When Chuck Norris falls in water, he doesnt get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris crossed the road. Noone has ever dared question his motives
When Chuck Norris smiles, it brings back the dead. Ironically, he only smiles after he kills someone

:unsure: ok, I think that's enough for now
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Pierrot
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Chuck Norris doesn't hide a gun under his pillow, he hides a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris is what makes Cambell's so Mmm Mmm Good.

If it smells like chicken, tastes like chicken, and looks like chicken; then it probably is chicken. But if Chuck Norris tells you its beef, he's probably right.

Whenever you drink Mountain Dew, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you in your sperm.

You know why they used the atomic bomb on Japan? Because sending Chuck Norris was to inhumane.

Chuck Norris decided to sell his urine as an energy drink. We know this drink today as RED BULL.

Chuck Norris ejaculated into a firetruck one day. That baby fire truck grew up into Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris can get a perfect SAT score just by writing his name.

Chuck Norris once created the greatest Chuck Norris joke of all time. But he didn't hand it in because he doesn't approve of any form of submission.

Here's one I just came up with:
Chuck Norris could chuck more wood than a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
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And Huzzah, I can drown a fish too. It's easy. Stick cotton in its gills.
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AC Drawings
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Fools! Do you not realize that Mr.T is high above Chuck norris? Sure their arm wrestling match was what created the big bang when Mr. T won, but still, CHuck Norris is only second best.

CHuck Norris may hav given Jesus the gifet of beard as one of the 4 wise men, but Mr.T is the universe and God itself!
Play with Fire and you'll get Burned, Play with Mine and you won't Return
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Rixter
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edit: And you can drown a fish. If it's a freshwater fish, put it in saltwater, and vice versa.
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Huzzah
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Quote:
 
And Huzzah, I can drown a fish too. It's easy. Stick cotton in its gills.


that's not drowning it :glare:
that would be the equivelant of covering someones face with a pillow. Would they drown? no, they'd suffocate- but it wouldnt be due to choking on water.
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Pierrot
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Huzzah,Jun 5 2007
05:37 PM
Quote:
 
And Huzzah, I can drown a fish too. It's easy. Stick cotton in its gills.


that's not drowning it :glare:
that would be the equivelant of covering someones face with a pillow. Would they drown? no, they'd suffocate- but it wouldnt be due to choking on water.

But fish can only take in air from the water. Stuffing cotton in its gills makes it so that it can't take the oxygen from the water; thereby, drowning it.
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keyblade kitty
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Would I be shot if I asked who the hell Chuck Norris is?
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smurfdude
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*Loads gun*

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Love come shine over the mountains. Love come shine over the sea. Love shine on my baby, then I'll know exactly who's for me.
"Hey Sendo should people read Hajime No Ippo?"
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AC Drawings
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Alright, you stole that from Mr.T. we all know MR.T ain't really black, the sun is just afraid to shine on him. and also...

*loads bazooka*

Start learnin' who Chuck Norris is, Sammy...
Play with Fire and you'll get Burned, Play with Mine and you won't Return
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Check out the test to find out who you are From the awesome webcomic The Wotch!!
Forum's Most Creative 2008!!!
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keyblade kitty
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I went to Wikipedia and it only said that he played in Walker Texas Ranger and is an action star. Why does he deserve his own jokes?

*prepares to be shot*
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Revolver Oshawott
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StrawhatsfriendSora,Riku+Jun 5 2007
08:07 PM
I went to Wikipedia and it only said that he played in Walker Texas Ranger and is an action star. Why does he deserve his own jokes?

*prepares to be shot*

Agreed, I dunno who he is either. However, I plan to save my ass with this one that I read somewhere:

How much Norris could a Norris Chuck Chuck if a Norris Chuck could Chuck Norris?
why do i have this icon i don't even like homestuck that much
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Huzzah
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StrawhatsfriendSora,Riku+Jun 5 2007
07:07 PM
I went to Wikipedia and it only said that he played in Walker Texas Ranger and is an action star. Why does he deserve his own jokes?

*prepares to be shot*

why does everyone freak out when someone says over 9000?
why do we all know what happens when you say "this is madness!"

the answer to your question is the same as the answer to any of the above. This vast interweb, it has many fads- Chuck Norris used to be one of the larger ones (especially for those of us who played world of warcraft in the early days.... z0mg!barrenschatlololol)



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Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.



edit: btw, he DOES have a pretty awesome roundhouse kick, and used to be some martial arts master
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Ka Tokubi
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....


hmm...

As my dad would say, Bruce Lee beats Chuck Norris. o-o *two thumbs up*
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