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| Forgotten Angels -Applications- | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 29 2006, 07:39 AM (3,109 Views) | |
| Duo Himura | Apr 3 2006, 09:22 PM Post #91 |
The Betrayer of the People and a Tyranical Capitalist Pig-Dog
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Two things here, Crad. 1) You need to repost the edited submission form, not just edit your same post. 2) You didn't address... quite a few of the things I pointed out as needing to be fixed. I suggest you go reread my last post, as, at the moment, I have some things I need to do and don't really care to repeat myself... Maybe I can get Digi on this... And Ka Tokubi, same reason for why I'm going to delegate to Digi for Strawhat's application... that, or you'll have to wait until like, 9+ o'clock tonight. |
 Aku Soku Zan.  Can I get a "Sieg Zeon"? Cibo canem domare potes... Pecunia hominem domare potes... Sed nemo et nihil Mibuis Lupos movere potest! | |
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| ChibiKitsune | Apr 3 2006, 09:35 PM Post #92 |
Kitsune of Three Tails; Cosplay Addict
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Uhm, Crad? No one is insulting you. This is just a roleplay we all put a lot of work into, and we expect those who join to put a lot of work into it, too. If you can't apply yourself enough to this, then there really is no reason for you to join, but you can't get upset at anyone but yourself because of it. Also, not exactly related to this post, but you really need to resize the image in your signature. It is far too large and makes navigating the pages much more difficult. |
    Metrocon Performer; Panel Room Coordinator The Con Artists - Our super-special-awesome-fake-British convention group! | |
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| Duo Himura | Apr 3 2006, 09:43 PM Post #93 |
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The Betrayer of the People and a Tyranical Capitalist Pig-Dog
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Well, whatever then. It's your character. I wasn't particularly thrilled to read your punctuation-less, overpowered character either, for the record. You DO need to change the image in your signature though, to something considerably smaller. |
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Aku Soku Zan. Can I get a "Sieg Zeon"? Cibo canem domare potes... Pecunia hominem domare potes... Sed nemo et nihil Mibuis Lupos movere potest! | |
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| ChibiKitsune | Apr 3 2006, 10:24 PM Post #94 |
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Kitsune of Three Tails; Cosplay Addict
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No one was laughing at you in the first place, Crad. But just a couple of things to keep in mind as you try again: Use proper punctuation. It is really difficult to read a mesh of words with no capitalization, grammer errors, and no punctuation. Throw it though a word check of some sort: Microsoft Word, if you have it (it will also catch some grammer mistakes for you), or something off Google. Think things through and don't get too worked up. If you're angry while trying to write it, it won't come out well. Now, I know it is sometimes difficult to see something you worked on get the third degree. But it just means you need to spend a little more time on it. In doing this, working hard on making it completely legible and easily understandable, I bet you'll be helping out your academic career. I know roleplaying has helped me hone my skills. We all spend a lot of time on our characters. Zev is over four years in the making, and that profile took me over two hours to write, with almost all the information already in mind. Just remember: no one's out to get you. If you want any specific help, feel free to PM me. If you feel confident enough, then just post the entire profile here. |
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Metrocon Performer; Panel Room Coordinator The Con Artists - Our super-special-awesome-fake-British convention group! | |
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| ChibiKitsune | Apr 4 2006, 01:45 AM Post #95 |
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Kitsune of Three Tails; Cosplay Addict
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Okay. I know I promised to help - buuuuut, school work is dragging me back to the depths of non-forum goodness. I will still help - but I doubt I'll be able to do so tonight. I apologize. I would try, but the lack of periods makes it a difficult read. I can go into depth with it with you later, if Digitaldreamer doesn't get to this first. If she does to a part-by-part break-down of your profile, you need to listen to her as well. One thing I can notice right away is the lack of personality, and probably too many weapons. You also need to go into depth with weaknesses and strengths (I do strongly suggest plurals of each - it makes for a far more interesting character). I am sorry I can't help more right now. Lesson of the day? Don't procratinate. You'd think I would have learned this by now. I'll go in depth more tomorrow if you still want me to. |
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Metrocon Performer; Panel Room Coordinator The Con Artists - Our super-special-awesome-fake-British convention group! | |
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| Duo Himura | Apr 4 2006, 01:52 AM Post #96 |
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The Betrayer of the People and a Tyranical Capitalist Pig-Dog
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Digi IS working on it, so no worries. Crad: PLEASE don't edit your post after an hour and a half to comment on how no one has replied. Things take time, and we don't STALK the forum day and night, so don't expect instant replies. Just because they go UP instantly doesn't mean that people will always reply right away. And ah yes, Procrastination. I have a funny story about Procrastination. Tell ya later, though, first I gotta go play Kingdom Hearts II some more (well, I seriously AM going to go do that...). |
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Aku Soku Zan. Can I get a "Sieg Zeon"? Cibo canem domare potes... Pecunia hominem domare potes... Sed nemo et nihil Mibuis Lupos movere potest! | |
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| Digitaldreamer | Apr 4 2006, 02:10 AM Post #97 |
Friendly Neighborhood GM
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Alright, first of all Crad, you seriously need to chill. Take a deep breath and relax. Repeat after me; “It’s only a game, and people are not here to laugh their heads off at me.” There’s a difference between constructive criticism and insulting, and you need to learn it. No one here is trying to insult you, we’re trying to help you. Next of all, yes, people on this forum did tell you to be weird. They also said to use proper grammar and spelling. This means we use the period key to create sentences. If you feel you didn’t have enough time to add periods and make the post legible, you should have saved it in Word and waited until you did that. When we tell you to use periods, you really need to listen. It’s really hard to read something when it’s one big run-on sentence. We aren’t telling you to use periods because we enjoy typing it, we’re telling you this because we want you to listen. Now then, this is basic knowledge, but I’m not sure that you’re getting it. When you start a new sentence, you need to capitalize the first letter of the first one. Names are also capitalized, alright? To end a sentence, use a period. If it’s a question, end the sentence with a question mark. I know this seems kind of juvenile, but from the way you write it seems you’ve forgotten these things and I’m trying to remind you. As for the application itself…it isn’t even the form I asked for in the beginning of this thread. That lists all the rules, and if you’d read them you’d know there’s a lot of things in your application that you’re not following. Your character is still far too overpowered, that’s far too many weapons for one character to be skilled in. Then there’s the fact that your bio really makes no sense…again, periods would be good. There’s not much else for me to comment on, since you didn’t follow my games application form. Even so…I’m going to have to say this. I don’t think you have the skills necessary for this game. This game is very complicated and very advanced. Basically, to be in it you have to be literate, be able to actually develop a believable character, be able to write fairly well, etc, etc….and well, you don’t qualify. Your character’s are Gary Stus, you can’t seem to grasp usage of proper grammar and spelling, you don’t even bother to fill out the right form, and you freak out whenever someone offers any criticism and completely disregard whatever they tell you. Even if you did go back and fill out the right application, I’m afraid you just aren’t at the skill level required for this game. Even if you were, I’m not sure I’d let you in…you could use a major attitude adjustment. You don’t seem to listen to what anyone tells you, and I can’t have that in my game. You freak out over the smallest things, and are extremely impatient. I can’t have that. This game is very important to me. Normally I would try to help you fix up your application and let you in, hoping that you’d improve…but this game isn’t the kind of place where you can let people with extremely low skill levels in and hope they’ll improve. Everyone has put a lot of work into FA, and I can’t afford to have someone like you come in and mess it up. I’m terribly sorry to sound so mean…but its how things have to be. If you keep practicing at writing and adjust that attitude of yours maybe someday you’ll be able to join, but for now I’m going to have to say no. |
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~*Forum Queen*~ ZoLu is <3!  
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| Crad | Apr 4 2006, 02:33 AM Post #98 |
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Forum Vampire
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i said i would be suing a different format this charecter was orginally on the 4kids thing i made him there copied it saved it as a word document went through the spelling check and brought it here and whats the point of even come to a place like this to ahve fun if you ahve to worry aobut every single error you make and whats more im not new at this i put alot of thought into this and here you guys come and butcher the thing both of them i could have ditched most of the weapons those are jsut there for show i would probaly only use the katanas anyway i read the begging of the FA and it looked like a lot of fun so i thought i would make a charecter to try to get in and so i put one out and you guy kill that one so i think ok ill jsut use a different one the better of the 2 and i sent that out there and you guys butchered that one as well you say this website is supposed to be one piece 4kids but wheres the kid in that if you have to watch every single freaking mistake you make also if you wouldnt mind delete every thread i made |
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Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley Baby I've been here before I've seen this room and I've walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew ya And I've seen your flag on the marble arch and love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah | |
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| Digitaldreamer | Apr 4 2006, 02:47 AM Post #99 |
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Friendly Neighborhood GM
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Maybe you should have considered taking that character and rewriting it to the right application, then. The one you posted didn’t have nearly enough information. And we never said you had to worry about every mistake you make. You do, however, have to try and use proper grammar and spelling. A typo here and there is alright, but there’s no excuse for never bothering to even use periods. We understand that you put a lot of thought into your posts. Even so, we were encouraging you to do better. Constructive Criticism is about pointing out your mistakes and suggesting ways to fix them, not “butchering” your character. If you freak out when given such criticism, clearly you aren’t mature enough for this game. I don’t care if the weapons were only there for show, they would have had to be ditched anyway. Your character was way overpowered, not to mention didn’t seem to fit into FA at all. Did you read the story here in the applications thread? If you did, maybe you would have known that neither of your characters fit and you needed to try something new. We didn’t “kill” your characters. We pointed out their problems and told you how to fix them. You didn’t listen. It’s not our problem if you can’t take criticism and learn from it. Also, let me let you in on a little secret. This place isn’t called One Piece 4Kids because it’s for kids. It’s only called that to help people from the 4Shame board find it easier. This place is probably one of the most literate boards you’ll find. You don’t have to watch every mistake you make, but that doesn’t mean you can go around not even bothering to use the skills you learn in elementary English class. Right, that’s all. I do hope you’ll try again when you’ve improved. Oh, and if you plan on quitting just because you got rejected from one game, that's really rather sad. Suck it up, learn from this, and try playing in other games here. This doesn't really mean anything other than you're not ready to play with the literate crazies yet. |
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~*Forum Queen*~ ZoLu is <3!
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| Crad | Apr 4 2006, 03:00 AM Post #100 |
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Forum Vampire
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I may get ticked off easy but normally it doesnt take long for me to cool back down ok ill guess ill read the application starter and try again tommorrow i dont have time right now. <(HA YA see that a period ya see i learn) Ok ive read it and decided that im gonna keep the other 2 but im also gonna make a new version of each one to fit the FA storyline and try them both if they dont make it ill take them and fix them again and again until i either make it or get banned!! Oh ya and one last thing i dont care if you dont like this idea but could i make Crad an angel charecter? |
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Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley Baby I've been here before I've seen this room and I've walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew ya And I've seen your flag on the marble arch and love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah | |
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| Duo Himura | Apr 4 2006, 11:35 AM Post #101 |
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The Betrayer of the People and a Tyranical Capitalist Pig-Dog
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Let me answer you right now; No. Digi has plans for all the angels already, at least, that's the impression I get, given how important they are to the story. |
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Aku Soku Zan. Can I get a "Sieg Zeon"? Cibo canem domare potes... Pecunia hominem domare potes... Sed nemo et nihil Mibuis Lupos movere potest! | |
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| Crad | Apr 4 2006, 09:15 PM Post #102 |
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Forum Vampire
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Ok thats understandable (im not saying this because you said that) but i did think about it in school today and decided not too. Are you in the FA, Duo?? |
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Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley Baby I've been here before I've seen this room and I've walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew ya And I've seen your flag on the marble arch and love is not a victory march It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah | |
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| Nereginn | Apr 4 2006, 10:36 PM Post #103 |
Forum Juggalo
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Could somebody give me a brief summary of the story line? |
 A-tisket, A-tasket, The scarecrow's out his casket Turn of the lights and lock the doors Hoping that he passes. I brought a bat to a mosh-pit (Well what you do then??) I split some craniums in half And caved a few in Before long I'm standing there alone I shut the party down For Bone Thugs, Tech N9ne, Kottonmouth and Esham | |
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| Charlett | Apr 4 2006, 10:46 PM Post #104 |
Replacement Captain
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Read the beginning of the thread. Digi gave a great summary of what the story's about. |
 Because I love Pearl, dangit! Saberae made it for me, and I collected the sprites! Thanks again, Saberae! Sanji: "We have enough meat, but we're out of bread and spinach, and the water's low, it sucks..." Luffy: "That IS a problem, because I do so likes me spinach..." -One P1ece, Ragweed's AU doujinshi --- "ROFS? Rolling On the Floor... Starving...?" Phoenix Wright, listening to Sal Manella's l337 | |
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| Duo Himura | Apr 4 2006, 11:12 PM Post #105 |
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The Betrayer of the People and a Tyranical Capitalist Pig-Dog
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Technically I'm not in the RP at the moment, but the characters I intend to run for it can probably be done and ready to go as soon as I find some time to write them up. Mostly for the benefit of having a written copy, as there are some details I'm keeping to myself. One of the perks of working with the GM. Admittedly I haven't DONE much at the moment, but once the Kingdom Hearts II thing blows over for her and she stops spending every free waking minute killing stuff with a giant key, I plan to get more involved in helping with the storyline and whatnot. That, and as an admin and someone who has a pretty good understanding of RPs in general, I can help take care of stuff like looking over applications when she's busy. *Pokes Digi with stick* Look at Strawhat Pirate's application, already, you. Nereginn: ALWAYS check the first post of a topic before you ask a question like that. 9 times out of 10 if there's something vital you need to understand to know what the topic is about, you can find it there. Also, you're hot-linking your signature image, and your avatar, fix it, or it goes (look at the "ADJUSTMENTS TO THE RULES" thread in the Announcements section). |
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Aku Soku Zan. Can I get a "Sieg Zeon"? Cibo canem domare potes... Pecunia hominem domare potes... Sed nemo et nihil Mibuis Lupos movere potest! | |
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