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Whacko Jacko Steals The Elephant Man's Bones
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Topic Started: Feb 27 2014, 12:38 AM (67 Views)
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Kendrick Gates
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Feb 27 2014, 12:38 AM
Post #1
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- Posts:
- 11
- Group:
- Members
- Member
- #417
- Joined:
- June 12, 2012
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All around the world, people are logging into their computers and navigating their browsers to the best damn wrestling website in the world. But as they reach the frontpage of NEWera’s website they see no news, no info or videos of James Stall or Romeo Stylez. Instead there screens begin to fade like static before the screen on the monitor goes black before flashes with a green line as various colored numbers begin to pop up on the screen.
…10%…
…30%…
…45%…
…60%…
…80%…
…99%…
And like fireworks on your computer screen we watch as the content on NewEra.com become an afterthought as the video feed slowly begins to play. As we focus in we get ourselves a lovely shot of the always beautiful and lovely Quinn Kenway in nothing more than track shorts and what looks to be a sports bra. Not paying attention to the camera we watch as she is sewing what looks to be her next costume for NEW Friday Night. As the camera begins to swivel away from Quinn to the dismay of the viewer we find Kendrick Gates sitting in front of us, his face looking content as anyone would be after the underdog win he had at Anniversary.
As he sits there in his giant all white egg chair looking at the camera we can’t help but see something different about him, something that makes him feel more confident, something more dangerous, just something that doesen’t feel like this was Kendrick from two weeks ago. After a moment of staring we finally begin to see Kendrick begin to move as he leans forward and welcomes us with a friendly smile.
“Two weeks ago everyone and there side chick felt that Nightmare was going to end me quicker then the black plague ended 2/3 of 1600’s London. People felt that the only way I was going to walk out of Madison Square Garden was going to be through a body bag and a hearse ride. Yet here I am, healed from the battle and showing you all that Kendrick Gates isn’t just a goofball dingbat like you love to write him as.”
Kendrick smiles again as he lets those last two words echo in his head for a brief moment.
“But I showed the world more then just the fact that I am a joke wrestler who gets off from jokes about Cleveland steamers and Lana Wu’s tits. Which don’t get me wrong are two FANTASTIC things in this world, I mean Lana is just so bonnerific right now I could bust a nut just thinking of her. But I showed the world that I can stand toe to toe with monsters and beat them for all intensive purposes.”
“I showed everyone that I am not this little footnote that comes in and makes new guys who leave shortly after I do look like a million bucks. At Anniversary I showed that I can beat top talent like Nightmare, but I showed that with competition comes compassion. I showed that at the end of the day this business needs to have more heart, more love, we need to care for one another like we care for ourselves and those closes to one another. And after my match with Nightmare I stayed in that back room, I sat outside the doctor’s office for hours before they transferred him to a medical center to remove the tacks in his back that were too far deep in. I showed everyone that victory isn’t the only thing in this world.”
Kendrick chokes up a bit at his own words before he looks up at the screen.
“But I am here not to talk about Nightmare or how I wish he heals and is stronger than ever. No I am here to talk about my opponent for this Friday, the Immortal Crest Falcon; and let me tell you this brother this match on Friday night brother is going to be as epic as if this was Crest Falcon vs. Colgate Eagles back in 1982…BROTHER!“
Chuckling we watch as Kendrick can’t keep a straight face with his dropping of the word brother he just laid out.
“In all seriousness however Crest this match is going to be as epic as nude Russian ladies eating bananas while being spunked on by 40 dudes and a polar bear. You are as immortal as Wu Does It and I am as awesome as the late Kayla Jade’s supple tits. And on Friday night you and I are going to tear the house down as I plan on dubbing this match Icon vs. I’m Gone. Because well with your hips in shit condition and well me being the icon I am all I see for you is being Gone for awhile after.”
“You see I loved watching you as a kid growing up and rooting for you when you would visit sunny Seattle. But well that was almost 20 years ago and it’s sad to see you still grinding out on the road when you should be getting your dick gummed on by some lovely grannies with full jungle bush. So please take this match lightly, don’t show up and let me win. Then afterwards we can go find ourselves a nice bath house and steam our troubles away while some of Germany’s hottest young beauties while Quinn here gives you a back rub.”
Kendrick stands up and stretches his back before he looks into the camera.
“But if you do want to try to take me on I will show you why youth always prevails against the old and I will show you just how loud Pol’s Voice can be.”
And just like the last video we watch as Kendrick winks to the camera and slides a remote back from out of his pocket and smile one last time before pushing a button and the video feed cutting to static. The static covered screen soon goes black before resorting the New Era website in full beauty featuring a front story about Tombstone’s recovery in Germany.
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