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Fear?
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Topic Started: Jul 28 2013, 01:44 AM (52 Views)
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Deleted User
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Jul 28 2013, 01:44 AM
Post #1
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Deleted User
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”Most people have no idea how to fight.”
We hear the voice before anyone's on camera. A new fan of New Era Wrestling probably has no idea who the curt Manchester accent belongs to, but longtime fans will recognize it as the former manager of Ross Raines. When the camera comes to life, we see a setting that thousands of wrestling promos have been recorded in. It's a dusty, beaten old gym like something out of the forties. Brooklyn's always been in love with it's hard nosed, rough image but this place is too much of a wreck even for them. Most of the young men have moved off to the Planet Fitnesses and the Gold's. This place though? This isn't a place to build beach muscles. This is where people come to put in the work. Sweat. Metal. Violence.
BOOM!
Ross Raines drives his fist into a heavy bag. He's already mid workout, his gray t-shirt soaked through with sweat and his muscles straining with the effort of driving his fist into the bag like hammers. It's not the first time we've seen him throwing punches on camera. These are different though. They aren't fast, snapping precision hits. These are hurting bones. They're big, brutal shots thrown from his core to collapse this bag. Amelia speaks again.
”When we used to find training partners for him there were guys who'd brag about how hard they hit. They'd step in and they'd start throwing arm punches. Ross didn't hit people too hard back then. Oh, he had the power but he didn't have the technique. At first, he'd wilt under the pressure. There was always a change though. You'd see him start holding his elbows in, start ducking his chin for a few minutes but eventually...eventually he'd lash out. From that moment on, everything gets rougher. He starts smashing into people. He starts charging into them. Suddenly, Ross gets aware of just how dangerous he can be.”
The camera moves from the bag Ross is pounding into toward the corner of the room. Amelia Terrence isn't dressed in the snappy business attire she used to wear. Now, she's in a pair of blue jeans and a NEW t-shirt. Her hair is tied back and she stares ahead at him even as she speaks to the camera.
”It's fear. The fear that does it. He can only keep his composure so long before he gets afraid. When he gets afraid, the anger takes over. Let me tell you a secret: These last few months? These changes? I knew they were coming. I wanted them to. When he and I were together, I knew he could have been something great if he just let himself go. If he just allowed himself to fight the way he really can. Fear. If he let himself admit that he was afraid.”
Back to Ross on the bag. The camera closes tight on his face. His jaw is set with grim resolve, his eyes stare firmly into the bag as he slides his hips across and drives another vicious right hook into the bag. It's evidence of his changing style. More aggression. Actually using more of that power.
”We heard you said James. He and I sat down and we watched your promo on the website. Do you know what he said? Nothing. But I saw it. He clenches his jaw when he's afraid. It's his tell. Like he's chewing on gum without actually having any in his mouth. You're right about him though. He's afraid of you. He's more scared of you than he's ever been. He'd admit if the camera was in front of him. But just like he has so many times before, it's the fear that drives him. It's the fear that makes him angry. It's the anger that makes him dangerous.”
Ross moves away from the bag and walks across the gym. He doesn't seem aware of the camera as he breaks into a jog around the gym. He's bobbing up and down, throwing his punches and every once in a while dropping to one knee to drive into a tackle.
”You have beaten him before. That much is true. But maybe, just maybe, you haven't beaten this him. Maybe this is a different Ross Raines. The other night he sat at a hotel room and I knew he hated this. I knew he hated how he felt. Every time I talk to him lately, all he talks about is how he's not sure he can beat you. All he talks about is how he thinks this is going to end the exact same way as before. Do you know what I think? I think as dangerous as Ross is. As much as he's changed in the past little while...it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if he doesn't think he can beat you. It doesn't matter if he's sure he'll fail again. I think you might be right. I think this ends the same.”
He jogs past her. He makes it a few more steps until his back is turned and then stops. She turns back to the camera and continues speaking.
”I left him because I saw him give in to that fear. Because it happened twice and I knew it would happen again. I left him because I can't be with someone who's too afraid to fight back. Someone who gives themselves to an emotion instead of using it to do something better. When he trains, he uses that anger but when he gets into the ring against you....that all seems to fall apart. Maybe you're right James. Because right now, I don't have a lot of faith in him. Nothing's changed.”
Ross raises a hand and wipes his forehead. We can't see his face, but his posture is suddenly stiff. A hand drops down. Sweat falls from his fingertips. Amelia continues.
”He's going to lose. He's going to fail. He's going to disappear again. Maybe you know what he is James”
He balls his hand into a fist. Suddenly, Ross whips around. He walks over to the camera and steps around her. She seems a bit taken aback as he glares into the camera.
”Let's talk about what I am. And let's talk about all the ways that you don't know me. That she doesn't know me. That the fans don't know me. Let's talk about the reality of Ross Raines. I heard what you said Stall. I heard you say I wanted sympathy. That I was complaining I had to fight my way back from my injuries. When the fuck have you ever heard me ask for sympathy? When in god's name have you ever heard me ask people to feel sorry for me? I'm not going to lie to you James. I'm angry. I'm furious. Because you're kind of an idiot. Use your brain, Stall. Think. Don't confuse anger and resignation with me looking for pity. I know we're supposed to battle back from all of our injuries until we nearly fall apart. I know that my fellow wrestlers and the fans don't care unless we're here getting amazing wins every week. I get that. Unless you're making bank, no one gives a crap about you. I've accepted that. Accepting the realities of wrestling has made me miserable. It's made me angry. No matter how many times I explain that though, YOU seem to still not get it.”
His nose is twitching. Ross looks like a dog frothing at the mouth before it mauls, all twitch fibre muscles and barely contained fury. Amelia has backed out of the frame and watches. Her face is difficult to read.
”You know why everyone says you half ass it Stall? Because this is what you always do. You walked out on camera and you act like you barely care about our matches. You talk about how I'm barely a threat. You end it by smiling and intimidating one of your critics. I've seen you do it before James. You talk about how you're back. You never left. You didn't change. You didn't go through some harsh period of rediscovery. You lost. You lost your title. Your tricks weren't good enough. You weren't good enough and so you lost your belt. I know exactly what I'm getting into the ring with. I'm getting into the ring with the exact same James Stall I fought before. Granted, I'll give it to you. That was enough to beat me. You've beaten me before. You have nothing to prove. You. Have. Nothing. To. Fight. For.”
Ross wipes his hand back through his hair and takes a breath. He tries to compose himself and looks back at Amelia with an accusatory glance. Then back to the camera.
”I'm not that kid anymore Stall. I'm too far in to go back. Too much of my life is tied up in this for me to go get some other job. Years ago, if I failed at wrestling...if I got hurt...I had her to fall back on. I had my farm. Both of them are gone. So that leaves wrestling. That means, no matter what I have to succeed here. Before, I had my principles to fight for. That was the only reason you and I never got into it. I'm not going to tell you it wasn't personal, of course it was, but it wasn't critical. If I lost to you and you hurt me? Once I got over the pain of losing, once I healed the injury up I still had my pride. Well, the pride's gone. That's the truth. I wake every morning thinking how I've screwed this all up. Thinking about how I let it all slip away. Thinking about how even the people who had faith in me don't have it anymore. What do you think when you wake up Stall? You don't have any higher ideals, you don't fight for anything. You're average. You're boiler plate. You've never suffered. That's going to change. It's going to change because I'm going to make it change.”
He closes his eyes. He can barely hold it in. He keeps them closed and keeps talking.
”You have a breathtaking lack of self awareness Stall. Over and over again you said that you were gonna send me packing. That every time I step up to you, that's when the momentum dies. That's when I choke and go away. You say you stop comebacks....then at the end you announce yours. You wrote a check. I'm going to stop you from cashing it. This illusion of a James Stall comeback dies on Sunday night. I can't respect this notion that the second best guy in our company, the guy who just lost the world heavyweight title has this huge hill he has to fight his way back up. I won't let you tell that lie. Not to them and not to yourself. You said that I was the Next Big Thing when I first came in. My skills haven't gone anywhere. I'm better than I've ever been because now I have to do this. There's nothing left. Maybe you should of listened to me a few weeks ago when I first came back: This is the last run. There's no leaving and coming back. When I leave, I am done. But there's things I want and one of those things is to beat you. What'd you say? 'I'm a wrestler'. Pumped up your chest and bragged about it. 'I'm a wrestler!' I'll do you one better. I am Ross Raines. I'm pro wrestling. I'm the grind. The suffering. The fight because that's what I am. For all that's happened to me, for all the fear that's pulsing through me right now, all the last few years have done is get me ready. I've heard people say they have nothing to lose. I have everything to lose. But I'm going to resist it all the while.”
Ross walks away from the camera. He stops beside Amelia and turns to look over his shoulder. She meets his eyes and stares at him, surprised. Then he offers some final words and walks away to get back to his workout.
”That's what I am.”
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