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Welcome To The Freak Show
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Topic Started: Jan 27 2013, 03:51 AM (99 Views)
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Priest
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Jan 27 2013, 03:51 AM
Post #1
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- Posts:
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Robbie Priest: Kevin? KEVIN?
Priest shakes his head as he stands at the front door of a bar in Asheville called the Friendly Tap. This had been Eric Donavan's idea and Tombstone and Wildebeest had both agreed it was a good one. And so they had arrived at Donavan's place earlier tonight, Tombstone's girlfriend Alexis and Priest's wife Alexi along with their two small daughters, Scarlett and baby Amber, in tow. The girls had stayed at Donavan's house for the evening with Donavan's wife Aurelai and their child while the men went out for a beer together to better their general understanding of each other since they seemed to have common enemies... or at least opponents, crawling out of the woodwork lately. All four of them had engaged in combat of some sort with the current NEW World Champion, James Stall and now Disturbed was throwing his name into that arena as well. Having fought Disturbed before during his past NEW North American Championship reign, Priest knew this was not a good place to be so when Donavan had suggested this, he'd been all for it. As usual, the only thorn in the plan had been Priest's new manager/agent/gopher, his previously estranged cousin, Kevin Raines.
Robbie Priest: Bloody hell, is he EVER going to be on schedule?
Laughing behind him, Donavan, Tombstone and Wildebeest just shake their heads.
Tombstone: Eez theez a goot idea?
Priest shrugs.
Robbie Priest: Good? I have no... probably not but, he IS family and I did say I would help him so...
Wildebeest nods, patting him on the back.
The Wildebeest: Wildebeest think it good thing you help family but he need to be considerate of others.
Priest chuckles exasperatedly.
Robbie Priest: Bloody good luck on that one, Mate. Kevin's a right bloody git on things such as manners and consideration, especially if, God save us all, he's gotten some bloody wild hair up his ass for our promotion.
Eric raises an eyebrow.
Eric Donavan: You don't sound like you really like having him around much.
Priest shrugs helplessly.
Robbie Priest: Sadly, despite being blood relations, he is a taste for which I am still acquiring a liking. He spent most of our adult lives away from familial contact and did not seem to realize that upon his gainful employment with Adam Jones he would be re-entering contact with said familial relations, namely... me.
Eric laughs in disbelief.
Eric Donavan: He didn't know you worked here?
Priest just gives him a knowing look and Eric laughs again.
Eric Donavan: Sharp as a tack, that one.
Priest shakes his head.
Robbie Priest: Come on then, no sense waiting up for him when we have no idea if he'll be arriving any time now. May as well go in and allow the patrons of this fine establishment to have their moment of gawking at the freak show as it enters.
Eric nods.
Eric Donavan: The circus has come to town...
As they turn around to see Wildebeest and Tombstone both frowning, Priest smirks.
Robbie Priest: Problem?
Tombstone: Beiss mich!
Priest starts laughing.
Robbie Priest: Alexis enjoy that does she? Well, start that up here, Mate and they really will think us a bit mad.
Tombstone smiles and nods. The others following the large tattooed German man into the bar.
Eric Donavan: What'd he say?
Priest smirks.
Robbie Priest: I'll tell you later...
As expected, upon their entry, the entire place goes quiet at the sight of their local Irish hero standing side by side with a dirty long-haired rock star-looking Englishman, a large African that looks like he hasn't washed his hair or shaved in years and large a German man covered in tattoos that don't exactly scream for God's love. Priest slaps Donavan's back just above his right shoulder, almost unable to contain his laughter.
Robbie Priest: They love us already Dragon... we're a bloody hit!
The four men make their way over to a table, the bar quickly going back to normal, and quickly order up three Guinness and a lonely root beer. As their drinks are brought over, Donavan, Tombstone and Wildebeest stare at Priest's choice of frothy beverage and shakes their heads until they all remember that he's a recovering alcoholic. Priest shrugs, knowing exactly what their all thinking as he takes his glass and holds it up for them.
Robbie Priest: This is as strong I get now... cheers.
Donavan and Tombstone both raise their glasses and sip their beer while Wildebeest looks at his as if it's something he's never seen before. The big man sets his glass down and just stares vacantly at it, something seemingly weighing on his mind.
Robbie Priest: Something wrong then, Beest?
Wildebeest looks up from his beer and frowns.
The Wildebeest: You tell Wildebeest, what is meant by "freak show?"
Priest exhales, laughing slightly at his own worry.
Robbie Priest: Bloody hell, is that all? You had me going there, Mate.
Wildebeest nods and Priest wags a finger for him to lean in closer.
Robbie Priest: Did you see how everyone stared at us when we entered? How they looked at our rather motley crew and immediately all seemed to thank God they were not us... except for maybe Dragon since he's the respectable-looking one... but did you see that look in their eyes? That's a freak show. You see, years ago at carnivals and circuses they used to have a side attraction where they would charge people extra money to come in and look at things that were different from what they considered normal. They'd have people with strange hair, strange facial hair, body art and the like. If they were exceptionally large or exceptionally small or deformed in some way, the stranger the better, they were put on display. Each show was different and yet would have the same assortment of freaks to gaze upon. Now look at us, we're the freak show now because people jump to conclusions about all of us based on how we look. They see me, they don't see a devoted family man that's been happily married for years that's raising two daughters. They see a long-haired piece of filth that probably engages in all sorts of depraved behavior. They all assume I drink too much and use drugs to the point that Keith Richards wishes to smoke me. They assume I engage in all manner of aberrant deviant sexual behavior with innumerable partners of all sorts, sexes and probably species. They look at Tombstone and all they see are the tattoos and piercings and when he opens his mouth, they add everything they thought of me plus a certain word which I will not utter to save his feelings.
Tombstone: Dankeschoen.
Priest nods to Tombstone and then continues.
Robbie Priest: They look at Dragon and probably think he's a fine upstanding young man until the accent and occupation are added in and then they assume he does massive amounts of steroids, drinks to excess, does all manner of other substances to gain an edge and to take the edge off. They look at you and make God knows how many assumptions just based on your hair and beard, but the point is that they all look and they all make those assumptions and, let's be honest, we all make a living off of those assumptions because that's really what makes them come to see us fight. It';s like the Coliseum in Rome, people paid to see all the different Gladiators fight and picked their favorite barbarian based on what they could see. Some picked Germans, some picked Irish Dragons, some picked English Metal heads and others picked Africans with a penchant for violence. So, let them stare. As long as they're looking, we've all still got jobs.
Wildebeest nods and then stares at the beer.
The Wildebeest: Wildebeest not sure about this.
Priest smirks.
PriesTombstone: Afraid they'll drink you under the table then?
Donavan and Tombstone snicker as Wildebeest just stares in confusion.
Robbie Priest: You think they can drink more than you and win the game then?
Wildebeest suddenly gets a look of new determination on his face.
The Wildebeest: Wildebeest win ALL the games!
The big man grabs his glass and drinks it all down in one go. Tombstone and Donavan shrug and quickly do likewise and Priest nods knowingly.
Robbie Priest: And off we go...
Little by little, the other patrons start filing out as Donavan, Tombstone and Wildebeest continue to drink. Eventually, Tombstone wanders over to the jukebox and picks a few tunes. On the third one, near indecipherable singing can be heard emanating from the the big German's location.
Tombstone: Zhare eesssss...Vhissey een zha zharrooo!
Priest just shakes his head as his three friends continue dancing wildly to the music.
Robbie Priest: "Whiskey In The Jar," bloody hell, please don't let them get ideas...
Donavan's eyes light up and he nods to the bartender.
Eric Donavan: Heeeeey... baaarrrkeep... Jeena Walla Blut!
The bartender, being new, just stands there confused.
The Bartender: What did he say?
Priest just shakes his head.
Robbie Priest: He said.. God help us... they want Johnnie Walker Blue...
The young bartender, having watched Priest be able to understand several languages already, is shocked at his being able to unravel the code that was just being spoken.
The Bartender: You speak "drunk" too?
Priest nods regretfully.
Robbie Priest: Fluently, I'm afraid...
Tombstone staggers back over and Donavan nods.
Eric Donavan: Limeup!
Priest nods almost looking like he's caught in situation he cannot save himself from.
Robbie Priest: He said.. "line them up..."
The bartender quickly does as he's asked and Donavan leads the two big men up to the shots.
Eric Donavan: T'thpin!
Priest quickly dials a number.
Robbie Priest: Hello.. Kevin? Yes.. I don't care what opportunity you've stumbled onto.. get your bloody ass over here now... I'm about to have to try and corral three rather drunk wrestlers and... no, we can't have cameras! Kevin... NOW!
He hangs up and shakes his head as he notices half the shots are already empty.
Robbie Priest: Oh Lord.. this is not going to end well...
He quickly dials another number as the three wrestlers in front of him try to sing the song that Quint, Hooper and Brody sang in Jaws.
Robbie Priest: Hello, Aurelai? Yes... we're gonna need the truck I'm afraid... Guinness and Johnnie Walker Blue... I'm uncertain of... God save us, they're still standing and of how I cannot be sure... yes ma'am... yes... I'm... yes ma'am.. we'll be here... somewhere... thank you.
As he hangs up, Donavan and Tombstone both try to grab a stool but miss and crash to the floor, Tombstone knocking a table over in the process, snapping it's leg off like a twig. Wildebeest lets out an indomitable roar as he finishes off the last the shot.
Robbie Priest: Bloody hell.. you did, Mate.. you...
Suddenly, Wildebeest keels over and crashes through a table as well, smashing the poor thing to pieces in the process. Priest nods and then glances around the bar, noticing immediately that the place is now empty.
Robbie Priest: Of course is it...
He stands up and walks over to the bar handing the bartender a phone number.
Robbie Priest: Sorry about the mess... give this to the owner and tell him to send me the bill for the damage. I'm sure he'll be pleased.
The bartender, in a state of panic and shock, just manages a slight nod as Priest turns around to survey the smashed tables and three unconscious bodies. Just as he's about to dial the number again, Kevin Raines comes strolling in. He sees the bodies and turns to try and run back to the ride he just hitched to get here.
Robbie Priest: KEVIN!!!!
Raines stops where he is, slowly turns around and quickly paints on a smile.
Kevin Raines: Priest... how's it going.. looks like you guys closed the place down pretty good already so...
Priest nods.
Robbie Priest: Yes.. and now you're going to help me carry them outside to await their chariot ride home.
Kevin just stands there staring at him, panic starting to set in.
Robbie Priest: I've called Dragon's wife you see... she's gonna want to kill us both...
Kevin tries to think of something witty but only manages a single word that he wishes he could have back the second it escapes his mouth.
Kevin Raines: Why?
Priest almost laughs.
Robbie Priest: You find Disturbed scary, yes?
Kevin nods.
Robbie Priest: You've not seen scary until you've tried to slip a drunk mate passed his angry wife...
Again, Kevin just stands there stupidly and manages a single word he instantly regrets.
Kevin Raines: Why?
This time, Priest can't help himself and laughs.
Robbie Priest: Because... nevermind, you'll see for yourself soon enough...
Kevin starts to take a step back towards the door.
Kevin Raines: Yeah.. about that, I think I have a previous engagement...
Priest shoots him a look that could set fire to pure water.
Robbie Priest: Kevin... if you try to squirrel out of this on me.. I bloody swear... I'm going to tell the girls you drugged them and let them kick your ass for it...
Knowing what that would mean, Kevin's eyes go wide and turn pleading.
Kevin Raines: But... but, but, but...
The incendiary look remains steadfast.
Robbie Priest: Kevin...
Kevin nods.
Kevin Raines: Shutting up!
Just then, the door opens to find a most unhappy Auralei Donavan. She surveys the scene and then focuses on Priest.
Auralei Donavan: Why is my husband drunk and you're not?
Priest shrugs apologetically.
Robbie Priest: Because I'm an alcoholic, Love.. I don't touch the stuff unless i wish to end up shaking alone in a corner with a gun in my mouth...
Aurelai nods understandingly.
Auralei Donavan: Glad at least one of you was sane enough not to try drinking with him when he's on a roll. But I suppose I should be thanking you in a way...
Priest almost laughs.
Robbie Priest: Kevin, get your ass back in here and help me with this good lady's husband and our other friends... NOW!
Kevin slips back in the door and marches over, side eyeing Aurelai the entire way. A few minutes later, the drunken bodies are loaded into the back of a big 4 X 4 truck, ready and waiting to be whisked away to the Donavan residence and nice places to sleep it off. Priest and Kevin climb into the car the men had driven to the bar in and follow Aurelai home.
Kevin Raines: So... big plans? Anything I can...
Priest raises a single finger and Kevin is quickly silenced.
Robbie Priest: I should kick your ass for taking so damn long to get there... what were you... nevermind, I don't want to know what you were doing or how you managed to arrive without proper transportation of your own. This will not happen again... are we understood?
Kevin starts to answer and Priest cuts him off again.
Robbie Priest: I mean it, Kevin... we're in a dangerous profession with men all around us that wish to do us harm and the only way that doesn't happen is if we help each other. You cannot work for me or anyone else and just wander off into the blue yonder when you've said you will be somewhere with us.
Kevin nods.
Kevin Raines: Ok... and, I'm sorry...
Priest nods.
Kevin Raines: So.. meeting go well?
Priest nods.
Robbie Priest: Swimmingly... Dragon and I should work together just fine...
Kevin nods, looking ashamed.
Kevin Raines: I really am sorry, Robbie...
Priest nods, smiling.
Robbie Priest: I know.., just don't make it a bloody habit, alright?
Kevin nods and they ride the rest of the way in silence.
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