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So Much EGOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Topic Started: May 30 2012, 05:23 AM (146 Views)
RAW
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Former Owner/Full Time Dick
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
No, no, no, no, no!

An irate RAW appears on screen pacing back and forth in his "Got Jerk" T-Shirt. As he holds his bottle of Bling H20 "The Ten Thousand" water ($2,600). His face contorts with vicious shades of anger.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up!

RAW stops and bounces up and down on his tip toes. He closes his eyes and take a deep breathe to try and calm himself before he opens them and begins pacing again. Occasionally glancing at the camera.

People all day today have been telling me about what Outkast said, or what Stall said, or Romeo, or Kidd Love, or Xavier Xannon Xanders. No! Stop it, stop talking about them. I'm the World Heavyweight Champion, you should all be talking about me. But instead you're talking about Xavier Xannon Xanders?

RAW stops and stare at the camera in disbelief.

Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck Xavier Xanders. Fuck him in his stupid ass. What the fuck has he done? Absolutely fucking nothing. I'm the World Fucking Champion, not some clown off the street who won some tiny tournament on our "B" Show.

RAW takes a swig of water as he begins pacing again.

Then there's Kidd Love. The man who was beaten so bad by me a few months ago that he had to leave the company for awhile. You're talking about him? Why? Why the fuck should anyone give a damn about Kidd Love. He'll never be as good as me. NEVER!

RAW looks down at his waist where the World Championship is worn and he scoffs.

Kidd Love is in the British Commonwealth Title Match. 4 months ago he was competing for the World Championship and now he's fallen to competing for the lowest title we have and you people are talking about him?

RAW shakes his head in disbelief as he tries to lean against a wall and regain his composure.

Then you have Romeo Stylez and James Stall and Outkast all bitching about Nikki Blaine and this and that and what are they fighting for? The North American Championship! Fuck them, shut the fuck up and talk about what's really important!

RAW sighs and finally his voice lowers a little bit as he talks while visibly holding the anger back.

Romeo Stylez realized a month ago in the 25 Man Battle Royal for my title that he couldn't beat me and that's why he never even mentioned the Battle Royal. He already knew that he had no chance of getting past the RAW one and he was right. So if he knew then that he couldn't beat me, then why should anyone else be more interested in his match over mine? He knows I'm a better competitor than him and so should everyone else.

RAW looks up briefly exhales through his nose and then looks back into the camera.

Then there's James Stall. James one month ago Romeo made you his bitch in that ring by beating you before I beat the rest of the roster. So what makes you think you stand a chance now? Because you hit Nikki on the head with your hammer? I've hit plenty of sluts with my hammer and they all simply ask me to stick it in their mouths afterward. How does hitting Nikki with a sledge hammer suddenly make you think you can do against Romeo now what you couldn't do a month ago? You can't it won't happen. Everyone should already know this so there's no reason for you to get more attention than me. And then there's Outkast.

RAW closes his eyes and takes a second. Finally he looks at the camera and holds up an index finger.

One minute please.

RAW suddenly walks off screen and reappears a minute later holding a Millennium Hour Glass from de Beers ($25,000)The hour glass filled with diamonds is almost ready to be flipped over as RAW shows it to the camera.

See this hourglass Outkast? You have a lot in common. You're both almost out of time. Outkast you know as well as I do that you're the past and I'm the present and the future. So you should already know that I deserve the spotlight way more than you. So why are you trying to hog my spotlight. Why don't you stop thinking about yourself and your precious girlfriend for once and think about other people. Think about the fact that people should be talking about the World Championship Match more than your petty North American Title Match.

RAW places the hour glass down and rubs his forehead finally seeming to calm down a little as his voice grows a lot calmer.

In two weeks the World will see the greatest match of all time but people will be so hyped up for the match before it they might forget about the real match that will take place. The fact is the best in the world will defend his title against one of the very best in Doc Holiday. Me and Doc will have the greatest match in the history of NEW. A match that will over shadow every other match on the card. Come NEW TV 46, people won't talk about the winner of the London Brawl or who the North American Champion is.

RAW shakes his head and finally smiles as he rubs his title.

No, they'll be talking about how RAW Randy Altzer retained his championship in the greatest match of all time.

RAW looks at the championship while he rubs it and speaks directly to it.

That's right baby. Not even Doc can take you away from me. No one will. You'll be with me forever and ever and I'll always love you. J-Woww? She's not important to me baby, you are. I will always put you first and so should everyone else.

RAW looks up as if he's remembering that the cameras there and he smiles a bit wider.

Don't get me wrong. I love Nikki Blaine. She's still the niece of my ex best friend Travis Blaine. I only ever wanted the best for Nikki. When I let Doc and his Syndicate attack her it was for her own good. When I called her a whore it was for her own good. She needed to learn what this business was like. Maybe if she had listened to me she wouldn't have ended up takin a sledgehammer to the dome.

RAW takes a second and stares off camera and nods real quick.

In fact, right now I want to show you that I do care about Nikki. Because I visited her myself earlier today. Roll it.

Suddenly, the video switches to one of RAW riding in his limo. The limo stops and RAW sits there for a minute before you see a butler open RAW's door from the outside. RAW then exits the limo and the door is shut.

The video shoots to a shot of getting closer to the house of Nikki Blaine's parents. Obviously the video is coming from some kind of camera that RAW has hidden on his body. RAW walks up to the door and rings the door bell before waiting. A moment later the door opens up and Nikki Blaine's eyes roll when she sees RAW Randy Altzer.

What do you want Randy?

You can't see RAW's face but his voice sounds calm and friendly.

Don't worry. I'm not here to cause you any trouble or be mean to you or anything like that. You're simply Travis's niece and I wanted to stop by and see how you were doing.

Nikki's face looks skeptical as she answers.

I'm fine Randy, and I'll tell Travis you came by so you can go now.

You see RAW hand extend out with a bouquet of flowers that catches Nikki off guard. Apparently he was hiding them behind his back. She doesn't seem to impressed by them but grabs them anyway.

Before I go I wanted to give you these and something else.

Thanks.

Nikki seems to be a bit curious of the something else as she looks at RAW. RAW rummages through his jacket pocket and pulls out an envelope that he hands to Nikki.

Well, I know how much you like things like Pokemon. I decided to try and find something related that you would like. Apparently there's only six of these in existence. It's called the Pikachu Illustrator card. It's worth about $20,000, it's in mint condition, and I was hoping that you might like it.

Nikki hides her excitement from the disgusting RAW as she opens the envelope and pulls the card out. She holds it delicately before showing a polite smile toward RAW.

Thanks Randy. It's a very nice gift.

RAW's voice stays calm and polite as he speaks.

I reckon I'll be going then. Take care, and get yourself some rest.

Nikki nods awkwardly at RAW. Clearly, regardless of what he says or does she doesn't trust him as far as she can throw him.

Thanks again and as I said I'll tell Travis you came by.

RAW gives one last little wave before he turns around and heads back toward his car. The video then switches back to the one of RAW standing in front of the camera.

See, I care about Nikki too. However, she's not as important as my title or my match. In one hundred years Nikki Blaine will be dead but I'll still have had the greatest match of all time. That's why everyone should care about my match with Doc. That's why they should talk about it more. Because when I retain my title against my very best friend it'll be a moment that will out live every other superstar in this company. It'll be a moment that Triple X, K-Love, Ro-Ro, Stall, and Outkast, will never ever be able to make or surpass.

RAW smiles and closes his eyes breathing in the thought of this moment before opening his eyes and looking into the camera.

See, I'm the best in the world. And I know that gets thrown around a lot. Guys like Spencer say it and then can't last more than fifteen seconds with the rest of the locker room. Guys like Jimmy Helmsley say it but even after main eventing Pay Per Views for a whole year Jimmy was always overshadowed by someone. Outkast says it, and I'll even let Outkast be half right. He was the best in the world but that's the past, just like him. No, I'm the best in the World because I have the hardware to prove it.

RAW pats his World Heavyweight Championship. His anger from earlier has completely subsided as he exudes his smugness throughout the room.

I even proved it a month ago against the rest of you. In two weeks someone is going to try and duplicate what I did then, and whoever does will get to face me at Vindication for my title. However, once I prove that not even the immensely talented Doc Holiday can beat me it should be painfully obvious that I can't be beat. That's why I'm the best.

RAW nods and licks his lip as he place his hands on his hips and pokes his chest out like he's Superman.

Being the best means I'm all about my bling, my bitches, and my business. If you don't like it, you can suck my balls. Being the best is why I visit Nikki. I'm setting an example that you're supposed to care about the health of your fellow superstars. Even if they'll never be as talented as you are. Being the best is why my match is the main event. Being the best is why you need to talk about me more than anyone else.

RAW chuckles as he takes his belt up and holds it by his side.

Being the best means being RAW.

RAW lifts the World Championship above his head as his smile grows even wider.

That's why only I am the best. I am your World Heavyweight Champion, Sir RAW Randal Kingston Altzer Junior, and no one is more important than me.

The video then fade to black.
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