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Ultimate Spencether; One Sip Can Kill a Blaster
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Topic Started: May 16 2012, 03:02 AM (101 Views)
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Deleted User
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May 16 2012, 03:02 AM
Post #1
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Deleted User
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A house show, a capacity crowd and Xavier Magnus makes his way to a mixed reaction. It is what he expected and it is what he deserved, some fans understood that this was a business, a lifestyle and sometimes you just aren't happy and you have to make a change. The others expected the same fierce loyalty that they gave you night in and night out when they were screaming at their TVs watching you on PPV. Maybe they were right, maybe Xavier did owe Them, but there is people he didn't owe a damn thing to and it was the people in the locker room. Xavier had been rightfully accused of taking his ball and running home with it on more than one occasion, but he had never once fucked over his opponent. He had always seen his obligations through and unlike some other douche bags he wasn't scrambling, begging and politicking to change things once his true colors started to shine through.
Xavier was an asshole, and as much as it bothered a certain girl when people self proclaimed being an asshole it was true. Everyone knew it, but that wasn't what brought the hate. No what brought that was the fact that Xavier got away with it. He could throw a tantrum storm off in a hussy, but he could always come back. Stroll through those doors with a smile on his face. Knowing that the groans weren't from angst or being annoyed. No they were groans of defeat. The locker room knows just like these fans know when Xavier Magnus in on, it is game over, and even with the Konami code you don't have enough lives.
Xavier grabs the microphone, his torso glistening under his unbuttoned silk Armani shirt that is the same cold blue that matches his eyes. He brings his free hand to a close and extends his index finger and brings it to his lips to hush the crowd as he begins to speak.
You know who I am, that is no mystery, but just in case you forgot I am
Xavier
MOTHER FUCKING
MAGNUS
I am not a bracket buster, a son of satan or a geek or greek god. I am...
A fan screams out YOU'RE A PUSSY
You are what you eat Tubbs, and judging from that mayonnaise complexion you have been on a steady diet of man chowder from the Camsapple's buffet.
A few people laugh, someone says oooohhh, but no one boos yet. Xavier's eyes shift as his confidence brims.
All jokes aside I digress. The fact is I can come out and York it up for you and repeat myself a hundred times and tell you that I have repented and that quitting before was a mistake, because quitting is usually a mistake. I could Helmsley it and pine over Angelica and stand in airport lobbies with a boom box and a Coldplay/Fray mix tape waiting for my lost love. I could add some razzle dazzle, shit on couches, I could be the .01%, I could put on a mask and read you a book like a lucha Lavar Burton, burn down barns, OD, I could steal your scene, I could break your heart and your arm, but if I did that all you would want me to do is Rig X it and kill myself. And that is just not what I do is it? I do one thing in this business as good or better than anyone else there ever was and ever will be and that my friends is simple. I talk that shit, I blur the lines of what is real and what is imagined. I don't bust brackets, I bust down walls, the fourth one to be specific. You can love me or hate me, but when I flick that switch 9 times out of ten you hear/see my words and you are captivated. And you can limit the moves I use, the martial arts I know, the songs I walk to the ring to but you can never limit this. or them.
Xavier first points to his temple when he says "this" then he takes the mic and points it to the crowd after he says them to allow a moment to absorb the cheap pop. He paces in the ring and eventually leans against the rope as he begins to speak once more
You want to know why I am back? It isn't for the title, it isn't for a false ego stroke. Honestly I am back because I missed this, I missed the challenge, the drive to prove myself on a regular basis. The energy I get from the friction of clashing personalities. I strive to be the best and prove that I am night in and night out. Whether I do it by stepping into the ring every two weeks and beating someone on TV or I do it all at once at the London Brawl is of no consequence to me, the path may be different but the end result will be the same I assure you.
As desperately as I want to win the London Brawl I equally loathe some of the things that it brings. Look at the bottom feeders coming out of the wood work to take up NEW TV time stroking their ego and verbosely telling you everyone they have ever beat in their entire lives. I have even seen some of these clowns take up time running old promos against people that had less of an impact in NEW than Brad Valley. The thing is there is something about all of this that really bothers me.
Xavier steps forward no longer leaning on the ropes as he looks dead pan at the camera in the corner
These mother fuckers come out of the wood work to tell everyone how much better they are because of what they have done in New Edge, Catholic Panda, UWF, UIWF, CWC and the list goes on like that means something to us. RAW could go down to whatever backyard you padded your record in and body slam a 13 year old on a trampoline and call himself an undefeated champion too but he didnt. He took his losses on the chin and he improved. He forged himself into the man at the top of the mountain. He earned his spot and my respect as a competitor.
So I ask you the fresh crop of egotistical NEWbs who the fuck cares about what you did? Why are you taking up our time with some bullshit about you quitting another company after you lost a match there? If who you are and where you came from is so great why the hell are you running your mouth here? Simple answer is you sucked, it sucked and no matter how much you did there you were the medium sized fish in a toilet bowl sized pond and you my dear little Nemos have now jumped head first into the ocean and come London Brawl or prior most of you will have drowned back into obscurity where you belong.
You have come here because this is where you prove yourself against the best. The company where wins and losses arent what creates you because the roster is so stacked that anyone has a shot. You walked into the house that Blaine, Altzer, Magnus, McKenzie, Turner and Helmsley built and you think you can reach up and take the brass ring.
You think you as men and women can step into a ring with titans like us and take part of the wealth that our blood, sweat and anguish has created. You think that we will stand idly by and let you tarnish the brass ring that hangs on the bar of standards so elevated you need fucking NASA to see it? Or are you so stupid and egotistical that you think it doesn't matter, that you can waltz in and no one has the ability to stop you? I can't speak for the rest of the roster, but if you want to take the title, the brass ring of excellence from this company,. You better be ready for war here because if you aren't you might as go back to the toilet bowls you were in before. If you want that ring you will have to pry it for my cold lifeless hands, so look in the mirror and ask yourself are you ready to kill me, because if you aren't you might as well kill yourself.
The crowd roars as Xavier drops the mic. As he exits the ring a cheer breaks out of KILL YO SELF. Xavier smiles as he makes his way toward the back. Unknown to him but serendipitously this tirade was recorded by someone in the audience and uploaded to Youtube that night where it was quickly linked to New Era's website.
A few days later
The scene opens and is not stolen. The set looks like a 70s game show, Xavier is on a huge heart shaped red couch, that no one has or will shit on. In his hand a cold Fosters, on his body a Greaternity t shirt featuring Ace Marshall and Adam Alloco and a pair of Tokyo 5 faded denim jeans. To the screen's right and Xavier's left features a podium with a stool. Occupying this stool is a man that looks like an aged 70s porn actor merged with Chuck Whoolery and has spent his whole advance for doing this on Just For Men "Touch of Gray" those familiar with Xavier in CPW (the good one, not the panda) may recognize this man as Chuck Diamond which can only one thing. it is time for the one, the only....Xavier Magnus Presents....
PLAYING THE FIELD.
A cheap pimp my ride esque logo that says playing the field flies through the screen accompanied by some music that is one bow chicka wow wow away from being in the film Chuck Diamond looks like he came from. The fake audience applause sounds die down and Xavier begins to speak
Been a long time Chuck, how the heck are ya?
Better now I suppose, you haven't hired me in almost four years it got real bad there for a little...
Xavier cuts him off
That's terrible Chuck but let's get to the meat and potatoes of why we are here. You see my little anti new talent tirade apparently has garnered a lot of press over the last couple of days and my facebook and twitter have blown up with questions. Questions that frankly deserve answers. My buudy Chuckie over here is going to help me drink that drank, talk that shit, and get to the bottom of what matters to you all. So without further delay allow me to take my first drink and the first question. Hit me Chuck.
This first question comes from Watpackfowlife@salazar.net and has an audio attachment for you..
Deah Xavieyah, Wuhrd has it that you always have conflict with people entewing youh fed. How do you weespond and please tell us how you weally feel?
I don't have problems with new people just new douche bags. You see the WARPED guys came over and they did their thing. They wrestled, they took up minimal promo time and for the most part they were pretty chill. They appreciated what Blaine did for them by opening up the doors to major network and cable programming and they appreciated the thrill of competing as I would have given the opportunity to grace one of their shows. Did you see Switchblade airing spots from 1997? Did Korrupt talk about how he hasn't lost a match in X amount of days? No. Simply put they came to do a job and not be fucking lame. Next question and another beer please. This shit gets me heated Chuckie
Chuck grabs a Foster's and tosses it to Xavier. As Xavier pops the top he smiles a cheesy smile that has a glisten effect on not only his front tooth but the logo on the Foster's bottle.
The next question comes from pikatmemoarperv@gmail.com. It reads
Dear Xavier,
After the savage attack on Nikki Blaine do you think you should focus more on the clearly psycho stalker ex boyfriend types like Stall who might be more of a threat considering their creepy as hell obsession over Nikki and everyone she has ever talked to?
Xavier laughs, like he needed a reason to talk shit about Stall, but he appreciated the lob, time to dunk it home like Durant.
Stall is indeed psycho, but Stall is also a complete tool. I don't mean the Jersey Shore reject spray tan tool. I mean he gets used to do a job but really serves no other purpose. Stall was brought in by Outkast to do a job. When said job was complete he floundered like a beached whale until Travis sent him to CWC to bring home some glory and look at him. He is the perfect tool, he adapts to what you need him to do. He went to CWC and sucked those apples harder than anyone ever before to make it. Now he is back and once again he is being used by Jimmy to do a job that Jimmy failed to do and that is take out Outkast. The only Stall family members that people should feel are creepy Uncle "Can you keep a secret" and Grandpa Diddles. I mean I thought Outkast was just bullshitting but after James' uncle was talking about having a baby and being in love with Stall's sister I realized that he put the EW in nephew and probably even more than that in the nieces.
Seriously, who the fuck let this child molester sign up for the brawl. And these two want to act like it is the unstoppable force vs the immovable object, but in reality it is going to be a battle of Rock Em Sock Em. I mean let me break it down for you.
The screen transitions to a carpet with a child's hands controlling a Voltron in one hand and a Megazord in the other. Xavier does the voice over for the clip of the two toys fighting
Voice 1: I am the Incestro 6969 and I have come to your company to teach you a thing or two about fight and luuhhh vvvvv
Voice 2: RoboStall does not compute love for another than oneself. You suck, I am great.
Voice 1: You will learn in due time like I learned when I greased your sister's sprockets.
Voice 2: You know nothing. I am the next generation with the pentium chip. I am programmed to receive.
Voice 3: I know you are bitch bot open up and drink some of cam's apple juice.
The screen fades back to Xavier
It is a real tragedy when Rig X could cut a less stiff promo than you James. But I am happy you found Jimmy because what you lack in personality Jimmy makes up for in emotion and you two can sit around watching Lifetime movies jerking each other off with the tears you are crying over Nikki and Rachel while Outkast is probably having a pastrami laced orgy with both of them. I mean it must hurt to sit at home and wonder if Outkast fucked more than your career doesn't it boys?
Xavier polishes off his beer and like a psychic Diamond has already sent another at the champ. Xavier wets his mouth with the cool beer as Chuck reads another question
This question simply reads " With RAW as the World champ and the death of Kayla Jade and Rig X, the retirement of Psychosis and the departure of MFTT and countless others do you feel that NEW has lost something? Do you feel that other stars like Kidd Love or Disturbed should be champion? Do you think this perceived weakness in the champion is what brings people out of the woodwork to challenge for the title.
Wow that is a lot to think about. Do I feel other stars deserve shots? Yes, I mean for almost a year it was nothing but Jimmy Helmsley in the title picture and it was nice to see new blood challenge and overtake the top spot. Do I think that Disturbed and Kidd Love deserve a shot? Even if this company was down to 4 people there would be someone before them that deserved a shot. Do I feel NEW has lost something? Yeah a lot of dead weight, cancers like Hunter, Phil, Showtime, Caine, even my dear brother Rig, Dean Jones, Korneillius Korpse. You can say what you want about RAW as a human being and if it is bad and labels him cunty it is most likely true, but even with a record with more losses than wins you can't say he doesn't deserve to be champion. Jihad sent 24 people into a battle royal with one goal and none of them could accomplish it. Hell not one person could eliminate little "underserving" Randy. It wasn't like you had to beat him, they just had to knock him over the ropes. NOT ONE FUCKING PERSON COULD DO IT. So if anyone is undeserving of their spot in this company it is the 24 people that failed and proved the kid right.
Finally do I think this perceived weakness brings people out of the wood work? No, why would anyone want to win a championship that doesn't mean shit. This is Blaine's house no one has ever got a title shot for sending their boss some provocative pics here. This company is strong, the champion is strong and the title is prestigious. Everyone wants to attach to NEW like the leeches they are sucking the life blood out of the company in effort to hang on a little bit longer.
I've got news for you bitches. We have had the Rat Pack, Hunter Valentine and we still have Kidd Love, Jimmy Helmsley, James Stall and Jack Erickson. Clearly there is enough in NEW that sucks already your services are not required. Shit that was a two beer question. That means there is only two left in the six pack. We are almost out of time what else you got Chuck?
Chuck on cue tosses Xavier another beer. He reads the next question
This one comes from BendaMickeyDshippie@hightimes.net and reads....
Dear Xavier:
I loved what you said in that youtube video. It is nice of you to step away from being a cookie cutter. A lot of people are saying Romeo Stylez has the best chance to win the Brawl with Nikki out of action? Do you agree, do you think London will feel the Razzle Dazzle?
Sincerely, Dj Rocketfish
Xavier can't help but laugh, this was actually decent stoner logic.
Is RoRo a good candidate to win the London Brawl? Hell yes, because no matter how much ass he kicks, no matter how much he accomplishes he still seems like the under dog. He is over looked, people treat him like a child and they underestimate him. Romeo Stylez might be the best pure athlete in NEW and is probably top 5 most gifted wrestlers of all time. He has proven time in and time out that no matter what you act like when that bell rings you become a different beast. Romeo watched the girl he loved take a shot to the skull and that will narrow his focus on two men, but I can almost predict that Nikki will be in his ear telling him to win it for her and as Stall has proven there is no one more dangerous than a man hellbent because of love. If it came down to a final four of Romeo, Ace Marshall, myself and Outkast I wouldn't be surprised at all. So yes Stall will taste the Razzle Dazzle for sure, but I will do everything in my power not to suffer the same fate. Last question and beer me one last time Mr. Diamond.
Xavier finishes is beer in his left hand as he catches the last in his right. Chuck reads the last question, as a sigh of relief brushes his face.
This question reads "Do you think you won't quit before the Brawl? Why should we believe in you now? Also if you do make it which I doubt who do you consider the biggest threats in the brawl?
Sincerely, Marc/k
Xavier smirks and polishes off his last beer before he speaks.
Everyone in the brawl is a threat if you don't realize that before you go in then you are a fucking idiot that will last 15 seconds. Speaking of being out quick, my buddy Spencer has lost his damn mind in the kill you while you sleep as opposed to his normal drink this potion and touch my big blue penis way and that makes him a top threat. As I was saying though, you don't have to be pinned, you don't have to give up or be down for a ten count. All you have to do is get caught with your back turned or in the middle of whooping someone else's ass and get dumped over the top rope. Great you just eliminated Outkast, but you just got hit with the drama dropper and you hit the floor game over. Obviously size and speed can have an advantage, so guys like Disturbed and Silver Electro can get you, but this game is as mental as it is physical so you have brains like Kast and Jimmy. The sheer numbers overwhelm you and people get lost in the cracks. People like Ace Marshall who was a hell of a wrestler in Majestic and SCW. Plus after Ace and I both ended up boning Destiny Nichols and Katelynn Buehler on separate occasions he might want to try and kick my ass. So you want me to give you my top 5 threats: Outkast, Romeo Stylez, Ace Marshall, Jimmy Helmsley and someone no one will expect like an early returning Nikki Blaine or a Dean Jones. Someone that blindsides us all. I don't say cliche things like expect the unexpected, because I am expecting everything and I will be prepared for that and more. There is only 39 steps between me and the world title and I am ready to run. Speaking of run, Chuck are you thinking what I am thinking?
B double E
double R U N
BEER RUN!
The screen slowly fades to black as Chuck and Xavier sing Beer Run and a Magnus Productions logo flashes across the screen
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