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My Take on Iinsanity
Topic Started: Mar 31 2012, 05:46 AM (165 Views)
Jimmy Helmsley
NEWera Veteran
[ *  *  * ]
I’ve never really been a fan of coined phrases that mix together two meanings. First of all, it doesn’t make sense. Secondly, it’s just plain ignorant. What’s wrong with just someone’s name? That’s the whole point of this business isn’t it, making a name for yourself?

This past year has been full of the coined phrase and it’s driving me insane. During the NFL season, I had to endure the art of “Tebowing” and the garbage that was produced along with it. Then along comes the NBA and Jeremy Lin emerges and suddenly “Linsanity” is among us all. It’s all you hear on the news and it takes away from the more important stories.

Instead of complaining about it, I decided to go to the source of my issues. Tim Tebow is too busy being traded around because nobody wants him, but Jeremy Lin, that’s a different story. I met him earlier this year at a charity golf tournament. He told me if I wanted tickets to a game, just to call him. Well, it’s about time to take him up on his offer.

March 24, 2012
New York City

It had been a quite a long time since I have been inside Madison Square Garden. This was a building full of memories, some that I have helped make in the past. It wasn’t about wrestling tonight, but about the team that brings people here, the New York Knicks.

As a Boston native, I’m not fond of any New York team, but Jeremy is a friend of mine, so I decided to come support him against the Detroit Pistons. For his sake, as long as they aren’t playing Boston, then I have no problem with them winning. He had managed to score me with two floor side seats.

I had tried getting David to come along with me, but he didn’t have anyone to manage the bar for him tonight. After that, I asked Brooke if she wanted to come, but again, she was busy with other plans. Unfortunately, I was stuck with only one other person to ride along with me, my sister.

Other than wrestling, she wasn’t really into sports. She wouldn’t even be into wrestling if I weren’t a competitor. For the first hour in the game, she had me explaining every kind of motion that took place. Thankfully, after the hour of questions, I think she was finally deciding to catch on.

The game was nearing the end and I had walked off to take a bathroom break. The Knicks were dominating the game and Jeremy really hadn’t made much of an impact. I guess the days of “Linsanity” are coming to an end. Walking back down the stairs, a little boy grabbed my shirt.

Young Boy: Jimmy Helmsley! May I get an autograph? Please?!

I looked around and back down at the young boy. I really wasn’t in the mood to be signing autographs. He should know that I have sessions for this, but he had everyone looking at me, so I obliged the kid and signed his program.

Jimmy Helmsley: Here ya go, kid. Take care of it.

He grabbed it and a big smile came across his face looking at it. I guess it’s moments like these that make you envy what you do for a living. It’s not surprising that this kid would look up to me, after all, I am a role model.

Young Boy: How’s your arm?

I looked down at the arm, still in a sling, protecting it for next weekend.

Jimmy Helmsley: It’s doing better. I’m going against doctor’s orders just being out and about in a crowd. There’s no telling what could reinjure it.

I started to walk away, but the questions continued.

Young Boy: Is Outkast telling the truth?

Why does everyone have to ask about Outkast? He isn’t even here supporting the Knicks tonight. He’s probably getting a reach around from a gay Japanese. I kneeled down so I could look face to face with the kid.

Jimmy Helmsley: You can’t believe everything Outkast says. He’s a good guy and all, but sometimes, he likes to exaggerate the truth. He likes to get a rise out of people and that’s what he is doing with this fake arm injury story that he’s spreading about me.

I looked down at my arm and pointed towards it.

Jimmy Helmsley: Does this look like a fake injury?

He looks at the arm and gives a confused expression.

Jimmy Helmsley: I’m competing in three matches next weekend with this injury. I’m doing it for fans like you who pay good money to see me compete.

Young Boy: It looks just like an arm in a sling.

Jimmy Helmsley: Another follower of Outkast. Touch it if you want. The truth needs to get out there.

He went to touch my sling, but I jolted my arm back quickly.

Jimmy Helmsley: Actually, I’m not going to take that risk. You are young and naïve, you might hurt me without knowing it.

The buzzer for the game went off as I looked up at the score. It read Knicks (101) to the Pistons (79). I looked down at the court as the players were shaking hands. Jeremy was heading towards the locker-room with his head down. He was probably upset his played so bad with me watching. I walked away from the young boy and back to where my seats were. Ashlie was still eating on some popcorn, not seemly knowing that the game was over.

Jimmy Helmsley: Let’s go, I need to go talk to Jeremy.

Ashlie Helmsley: Is the game over?

I didn’t even respond as I motioned for her to follow me. We headed towards the locker-room as security walked in our way. I flashed the passes that Jeremy had secured us and we were allowed to the back area. I came around a corner and Jeremy was finishing up an interview. Once it was completed, he motioned for us to come over.

Jeremy Lin: Good to see you, Jimmy. Glad you could make it tonight.

We shook hands as I introduced him to my sister.

Jimmy Helmsley: I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, thanks for the great seats. You guys killed them out there tonight.

Jeremy Lin: Yeah, we worked together great tonight. There was no way of getting beat.

Jimmy Helmsley: I was hoping to get to see some of this whole “Linsanity” that I have been reading and watching. I guess you can’t dominate them all, uh?

He seemed a little surprised by that comment, as well as Ashlie, who didn’t even really know the topic at hand.

Jeremy Lin: As long as we win, I’m happy.

Jimmy Helmsley: But you have all this hype you have to live up too with the media? Don’t you feel like you’re letting them down game after game?

Jeremy Lin: The media is the media, they will never be pleased to the max. I’m here to help win games and that’s what I do.

Jimmy Helmsley: The media is always causing problems. They try to hype issues that aren’t the truth. Look at Outkast, he tries to be the media and spread rumors. The media spread the rumors that you are a dominant force and Outkast imitates it trying to lie about this injury and me.

I point to my arm in the sling once again. He starts scratching his head.

Jimmy Helmsley: You know I’m in three matches next weekend? On three separate nights I might add.

Jeremy Lin: Yeah you mentioned that a few times. Jimmy, I have to go get showered up…

I don’t let him finish his sentence before continuing my rant.

Jimmy Helmsley: Well, you probably know I’m facing your cousin?

This time, he cuts me off with an arm gesture, almost hitting my arm. I back up slightly?

Jeremy Lin: Cousin? What are you talking about?

Jimmy Helmsley: Misty Lyn? I’m facing her on New Generations next Saturday. Do you not go to your family reunions?

Again, he was dumbfounded with my words.

Jeremy Lin: Misty isn’t my cousin. Why would you think that?

I looked around like I was being called out in the ring. Was he serious?

Jimmy Helmsley: You’re both Asian with the last name of Lin? I just assumed…

Jeremy Lin: That’s racist, Jimmy. She spells her name different than mine.

Jimmy Helmsley: Then what’s all this garbage I hear about “Lynsanity” in NEW? I figured she was ripping off her cousin in you. I’m completely confused now.

Jeremy Lin: I think its time for you to leave.

Jimmy Helmsley: It was an innocent mistake. Anyone would have made it.

He started motioning for the security to walk over. They came over and grabbed me by the arm as I yanked back, showing pain in my face.

Jimmy Helmsley: Don’t you fucking touch me. Do you know how many fans you could have disappointed just by grabbing this arm? I might not be able to compete now.

They walked Ashlie and I to the exit and watched as we walked out the door.

Jimmy Helmsley: You’ll be hearing from me if the doctors say I can’t compete next weekend.

The security slammed the door in our faces as I looked around the alley.

Jimmy Helmsley: This is why I hate New York.

I was frustrated with what just went down as we walked out of the alley and headed towards where our car was parked. I couldn’t believe the nerve of that guy. I came to his game and watched him play, not good I remind you, and he treats me like that because of a simple mistake.

Misty is a lot cooler than Jeremy is, that’s for sure. While I’m not a believer in “Lynsanity”, I do believe she will be a valuable opponent for me. Well, that’s if the doctors check me out and that security goon didn’t hurt my arm anymore than it already is at the moment.

Matt Starr and Misty Lyn only have Outkast to blame because of these words that I say about them. If Outkast weren’t a stubborn human being, then the life of these two would be much simpler next weekend. I’m not 100% right now, but I will make myself 100% next weekend when I step into the ring with them.
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