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SHUT UP PODCAST N00BZ
Topic Started: Mar 19 2012, 02:39 PM (136 Views)
Deleted User
Deleted User

The Jekster: “What do YOU mean they didn't like it!?!?”

Isabel Marie: “They just didn't like it.”

The Jekster: “Why?! What was WRONG with it?”

Isabel: “Well... THAT for starters.”

The Jekster: “WHAT!?”

Isabel: “THAT!”

The Jekster: “WHAT?”

Isabel: “THAT!”

The Jekster: “WHAT?”


Isabel: “TH- you know what, nevermind. You get loud at random times and then quiet again. They feel you're ripping off Cactus Jack.”

The Jekster: “Who's Cactus Jack? Sounds like a drink.”

Isabel: “It doesn't matter who he is. The point is, you're unoriginal and pause too much like... this. Basically, you're not interesting.”

The hotel room that Isabel decided to visit The Jekster at begins to spin as he holds his chest in pain. He collapses to one knee gasping for breath.

The Jekster: “How can they say this about me? I SHOVED A DILDO UP JOEY MARANOS ASS AND ENDED HIS CAREER!”


Isabel: “Maybe you should stop depending on that. It happened near five years ago. Get over it and move on.”

The Jekster: “I HAVE MOVED ON!”

Isabel: “Sounds like it. Look, that isn't the only problem with you it seems.”

The Jekster: “You mean theres more?”

Isabel: “Yeah... they say you aren't... colorful.”

The Jekster: “What the HELL does that mean?”

Isabel: “I'm not entirely sure but if I had to guess then it would be try branching out. Don't be a direct ripoff of something else.”

The Jekster clears his throat and leaps up to his feet in a single bound.


The Jekster: “Are you serious? EVERYBODY is a direct rip off of something or someone else! Oh I'm sorry I don't parade around like Ric Flair wearing fancy robes and sunglasses with this cocky I'm better than thou attitude. I'm sorry I'm not trying to be a quote on quote badass and talk trash about everyone and everything.”

Isabel: I think you're missing the point.”

The Jekster: “I am NOT missing the point. These so called experts try and mold you into one direction... push you into a corner and tell you that's how its done, that is what you have to do to get ahead. CONFORM CONFORM CONFORM!”

Isabel cringes from the direct screaming in her face.

The Jekster: “You want to run a podcast and tell people how to perform? YOU'RE NOT THE ONES DECIDING A DAMN THING IN NEWERA!”

Isabel: “Dude calm down. You're getting bent out of shape over this. They had some valid points.”

The Jekster: “Did they now? What point is that? To tell me how to act? To tell me what to say? Hehe... well allow me to tell them how to do their job...”

He turns to face the camera, head tilted at an awkward angle, eyes darting back and forth while grinning devilishly.


The Jekster: “You don't know me gentlemen... you know NOTHING OF WHAT THE JEKSTER IS ALL ABOUT! You say I'm not interesting? Try listening to the cookie cutter act some put on around these parts. Try listening to the two of you spread your so called words of wisdom WHEN YOUR WORDS MEAN NOTHING IN THE END! You have no control over anything and yet dare tell others to conform to your ideals? GET TRAVIS BLAINE ON THE PODCAST! GET LANA WU ON THE PODCAST! GET TERRY QUEENS ON THE PODCAST! Hell... anybody that actually matters. Because I tell you this... earn your stripes, gain some respect, then... THEN... tell me how to get better. Until then shut your indecisive, hypocritical mouths SHUT!”

Silence, steps forward, head still tilted.

The Jekster: “So gentlemen... have I... paused... enough... for you both... yet? Because I'm just getting started...”

Isabel steps in confused and pokes The Jekster on the shoulder several times. He rapidly turns to face her.

Isabel: “You do know the podcast isn't official, right? Its just two guys talking about what they liked and didn't like. They aren't even employed by NEWera.”

The Jekster blinks several times before answering.


The Jekster: “Oh.”

Isabel: “Yeah... I'm gonna go...”

She backs out of the room and shuts the door softly behind her. The Jekster remains watching, staring at the door.

The Jekster: “Well that's embarrassing.”

He shakes it off however and stares back into the camera.

The Jekster: “I don't know how to segway so here goes nothing. Lily... Lily DePaulo... last week I told you I would teach you how to get hardcore. Lesson one has been learned... now get ready for lesson two.”

The head of The Jekster slowly positions itself to the other side.

The Jekster: “Your injuries will continue each week until you memorize every lesson I have taught you. This coming NEW Generation will be no laughing matter... I'm not laughing.”

The scene fades out as we are left to hear the cackling of a mad man.
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