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Quotations From Brainy Smurf
Topic Started: Dec 10 2011, 04:20 AM (154 Views)
Misty
NEWera Rookie
[ * ]
Misty Lyn smiles into the webcam sitting before her. She stands up straight and takes a step back, nodding in satisfaction that everything is functioning correctly.

Misty Lyn: You know... the more this goes on, the sorrier I feel for Jason Matthews. The poor guy has been here all of a couple of months, gets ripped on for being new and... that's pretty much all anyone has to say to or about him. For all any of us know, he could be the greatest thing to ever come down the pipe and everybody is just casting him aside as if he's nothing. If Travis Blaine and Terry Queens hired him, keep him employed and book him regularly... there's gotta be SOMETHING there worth having or they never would have brought him into the company in the first place! Who knows, he might walk a winner after everybody else basically underestimating the poor bastard. As for me, I think everyone in this match is threat on some level. Jason Matthews is a threat BECAUSE he's an unknown. Nobody has any real idea who he is or what he's capable of in any given situation. He might be nothing but he might also be the second coming of God on water and we all need to watch out for him!

She pauses, looking down for a second.

Misty Lyn: On that same thought, Mike Miller is a threat because he's underestimated at every turn. The man came in and got caught up in the whole White Man Inc. thing and because of that everybody has labeled him things you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, most of which are probably not anywhere near true and all of them bad.

She nods, frowning slightly.

Misty Lyn: I suppose when you hang with white supremacists, you kind of invite certain criticisms but once you've told them to back to fucking each other in prison, you'd think a little slack would have been earned but apparently, not with good ol' Mike. And, I'd like to say that he did his part in our last match. He stood up like a man and stood by me so I have nothing bad to say about him at all! Good luck Mike, I'm not sure you need it but hey, give these bastards hell!

Misty takes a deep breath and then looks back into the camera, the happy vibe now replaced with one of annoyance and anger.

Misty Lyn: And now I suppose we come to the part of the match that could be politely referred to as “Functionally Retarded R Us!” aka Iron Heart, James Stall and Desmond Holiday...

She shakes her head, appearing to be momentarily at a loss for words.

Misty Lyn: These are people that honestly make me ask, “Is EVERYBODY around here just completely fucking retarded?” on a regular basis...

She nods, slowly letting out a deep breath.

Misty Lyn: Take Iron Heart... Here's a guy that makes absolutely no sense... apparently babbles stage directions like..”The scene opens on...” all the time and then has to ask, “Hey, why do none of you understand me?” Because apparently, you yourself do not know the difference between your words, thoughts, actions or anything else... I mean, are you on acid or something when you make these videos? PCP? Because... cocaine doesn't explain the complete lack of coherence going on with you, at least not by itself it doesn't. Nobody can understand half of what you're saying and the half we can understand proves you obviously don't pay a lick of attention to anyone other than yourself because it's outdated as all hell! I mean, you spouted shit from a profile on me that was written by some office worker named Staples the first month this company was open and was never updated! Yeah, it was true I shook my ass at guys to make them lose their minds when I got here... because I was half of a lesbian tag team that liked to show them all what they couldn't have and you know what, it worked! We won the tag team championships that way!

She shakes her head in disgust.

Misty Lyn: The funny part is that even with that, he's still a threat simply BECAUSE nobody can understand half of what he says. He's the prototypical “crazy like a fox” type guy because he's a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Will he go off in this match? Maybe, we have no idea and that's what makes him dangerous!

She pauses, suddenly remembering someone else she has to mention before moving on.

Misty Lyn: So now.. I spose I have to mention James Stall or he'll get all butthurt and whine that somebody “forgot to mention all their opponents,” don't I?

Misty pauses.

Misty Lyn: Eh, why bother he'll just fuck it up himself anyway...

She shrugs, the anger slowly starting to return and amp up inside of her.

Misty Lyn: Besides... you're much more fun to talk about, aren't you Desi? I mean, since the best you can do is throw out the word whore and then spew forth a whole bunch of misinformed bullshit...

She shakes her head, anger obviously rising.

Misty Lyn: Ride that train...

She looks up to the sky for a second before looking back into the camera, her moving from side to side in rage.

Misty Lyn: She wasn't just my friend you fucking simpering buffoon! She was my friend, tag team championship partner and at one point, my lover! So, pardon me if her dying hit me just a little bit! Oh, and since you do so well with the whole reading comprehension and paying attention thing and can't be assed to pull yourself away from all of your extracurricular activities long enough to notice, that particular chapter in my life really isn't over yet since Gretchen and the Hood Rats have seen fit to keep it going...

She looks away, chuckling cruelly.

Misty Lyn: You know, for somebody who is supposedly so fucking well educated you seem to not be able to do so much a little bit of light reading otherwise... “I mean your the one that admitted to having sex with a woman, I just threw it out to get a rise out of you, not knowing whether it was true or not, but now we all know about your dykish ways now.” would not come flying out of your mouth.

She nods in acknowledgment.

Misty Lyn: First because, “now we know now” is redundant and makes you sound like you just walked out of pre-k having pissed your pants in protest during reading time. Second, because if you had read anything for even five minutes you would have known that my having fucked Kayla was NEVER a secret! We flaunted the shit out of that from day one in this company! It was the entire basis for that one match with her you love to throw out so much. Oh, and third... it would also mean you'd notice that saying my victory over was tainted because she was high was about the single most retarded thing you could said because she fucking high all the time! If she wasn't on cocaine and alcohol then she was zozzled to the gills on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics and then she stopped that to start doing Oxycontin! EVERY victory over her came with some chemicals involved on her behalf! So, Desi... you go right on thinking that we're all beneath you and that none of us can compete. You go right on thinking your smarter than everyone else while simultaneously proving you are most definitely not. Quote all the Sun Tzu you want, it doesn't mean you have the first fucking clue what he's talking about or that you have any idea how to actually implement said quotations. Fuck... Brainy Smurf had a lot of quotations too... and he always ended up getting smashed on his head too!
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