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Are you happy?
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Topic Started: Dec 9 2011, 06:03 AM (97 Views)
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Deleted User
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Dec 9 2011, 06:03 AM
Post #1
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Deleted User
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The scene opens up with Autumn seen sitting on the floor in a poorly lit room. She's sitting shoeless, wearing only a white tank top and a pair of jeans. Her hair is a complete mess, her eyes are extremely bloodshot, and the darkness under her eyes would suggest she hasn't been getting nearly enough sleep. Autumn looks so terrible that all the debris of her old guitar Spring almost went unnoticed. The pieces aren't laid out in a pile, they're simply scattered everywhere, with Autumn sitting in the middle of the mess. Her hands are working on something between her legs, though it's unclear what it is she's doing. Autumn "You and I are alot alike Greg."
Her head begins to rock back and forth, Autumn may be on the brink of insanity here. Actually, some might say she's already lost her mind. Autumn "That's something so many people say in this business. They look at somebody who appears to be a complete opposite, but instead they focus on the similarities. They ignore the obvious differences between the two and try to find common ground. But Greg, I can't seem to find any common ground with you. Because the truth is, we are nothing alike."
Now Autumn's torso begins to rock as well, her entire upper body swaying forward and backward. But her eyes, her eyes are focused entirely on her hands, which seem to be doing something as a quick pace, we just can't see what. Autumn "You do whatever you wanna do don't you Greg? You don't think about anyone on this planet other than yourself. In the world of Greg what you desire is priority one, and everybody else comes second. You never think twice of the consequences. You never worry about who you hurt, as long as you get what you want in the end. The saying goes something like, the end justifies the means. That's your motto isn't it Greg? It doesn't matter how, as long as you get what you want."
Her hands finally raise from her lap, she has the guitar strings of her beloved Spring in her hands. They're intertwined, almost braided like hair. Autumn brings them to eye levels, and cocks her head to the side, still unable to prevent her upper body convulsions, rocking back and forth. With the strings in front of her face she continues to ramble on. Autumn "Nobody else matters. The rules don't matter. You are the world, no better yet the entire universe. You see everybody else as weak. Well Greg we are all here to serve you, our only purpose is to fulfill whatever sick fantasies you might have. Isn't that right Greg!?"
For the first time since the scene opened Autumn snaps her head looking directly into the camera. But it's only for a brief moment, before she lowers her hands, and goes back to work on whatever it is she's doing with those strings. Autumn "Oh what an easy life it must be. To worry only about your own desires. You see you and I we are black and white, two complete opposites of one another. For as long as I can remember, I've never thought of want it is I wanted. I never focused on my own true desires. It's always been about others. It didn't matter what I had lost. Didn't matter how little I had. I was almost unaware of my own predicament. All that mattered was those around me."
Autumn lets out an odd and almost painful moan. As if a scream and a cry were mashed together, and only barely managed to escape her mouth. This along with the constant rocking back and forth is a clear sign that Autumn has snapped. She seems to be struggling just to get her point across. Autumn "So much was taken from me. My sister was taken from me. My home was taken from me. I belonged to nobody, and nobody belonged to me. It was only right that I would suffer, I would feel guilt, and loneliness. But that's just the thing, I never felt any of that. I only felt what those around me felt. So I did everything I could to make that joy. I brought smiles to everyone around me. I gave them hope, showed them love."
Her hands raise up once again, and it would appear she has managed to tie those old useless strings into some form of necklace. If it were made of gold or silver it would be quite pretty. Autumn tries to stop her body from twitching, if only long enough to place the necklace over her head, around her neck. But there's a problem, the spasms from her body kick in at a bad time, Autumn begins to choke herself with her own necklace. Her face begins to turn red, then blue, before her hands finally let go. You can see a red line across her throat, the strings actually cutting into her skin, but Autumn doesn't even seem to notice the blood trickling down her neck. Autumn "So all I felt was joy. All I felt was love. I forgot what pain was like. I never noticed how little I had."
Autumn grows quiet, her hands have now found their way to her hair, as she struggles with herself, on one side she wants to rip out every single lock of hair she has, but the other is trying to maintain control. An ugly battle is going on inside the mind of Autumn, and so far the dark thoughts are winning. Autumn "No, it's not that I had little. I had nothing. Alone in the world, nobody understood me. Nobody knew my pain. But I couldn't see it. I was blind, only aware of those around me. I thought I had found some form of bliss. An escape from reality. A way to rise above the sorrow, and make something out of myself. But I was wrong."
And there goes her control, Autumn begins pulling on her hair, letting out short grunts of pain and rage. Her body completely falls over, now she finds herself flailing on the floor, throwing the bits of Spring all around the room. She might actually be having a seizure, but then with no warning, out of nowhere, she stops. She is completely still, tears in her eyes, as she stares into the nothing, her ramble continues. Autumn "So here I am. For the first time in a long time aware of my own feelings. I don't know what those around me feel, I don't know what they want. It's all so new to me, but it's not just how I feel that hurts, it's my desires. Without the people around me I'm stuck inside my own head. I hear all the whispers, these ideas that are nobody's but my own. I have been fighting these desires because I know in my heart they are wrong. They will bring pain to others, they will make the world a worse place."
Autumn is laying still, on her back, and again with no warning she begins to kick her feet and swing her arms, like a small child throwing a tantrum. Once again the debris of Spring flies around the room, some pieces being smashed even smaller than they already were. But like last time Autumn eventually calms down, and becomes still. Autumn "Greg listens to these desires. He does what he wants when he wants. He doesn't worry about the consequences."
Autumn is beginning to repeat herself, but to her everything sounds new. She believes she's finding the pieces of some puzzle, and that if she can put them together maybe she'll find happiness once more. Autumn "If Greg were in my shoes he'd give in to these desires. He'd say mean things, he would take what he wants, he would... he would..."
Autumn looks like she's struggling to finish her own sentence, trying to force the sentence out of her body. Autumn "He would.... hurt people."
She finally admitted it, the woman who by most in NEW considered sweet and innocent was finally able to admit that deep inside her, even she had a desire to hurt those around her. A hard truth to admit, but immediately after the words have left her mouth, Autumn's eyes open wider. She sits back up, and stares into the camera, as if she had unlocked some ancient hidden secret. Autumn "I could go down that path. I could live his lifestyle. Do what I want, take what I want. I could hurt who I want."
That last statement brings a smile on Autumn's face. Not the warm comfortable smile we've grown used to. This smile is sick, twisted, it almost seems unfitting to be on the face of a woman who has lived a life so pure. Autumn "If I go down this path, I don't think I'll be able to stop. I'll never be the same, I'll never be who I was. But maybe the pain will stop. Maybe I can forget about everything, I can live like Greg. I can be successful, by any means necessary. Greg what is it like?"
This question is unclear, is she asking what happiness is like, or what it's like to live a lifestyle like Greg's? Autumn "You have no friends. You have very few fans. In fact most people hate you. But you've succeeded in this business. You've been to the top, and you know how it feels to do exactly what you want, with no concern for anyone else. So I need to ask you a very important question. And think this over very hard because this is the most important question anyone has ever asked you."
Autumn begins to look all around the room. Up, down, left, right, almost like she's looking for something. She's completely lost her train of thought, but then just like many times before during thie video, everything changes instantly with no warning. Her pupils get small, her eyes narrow, and her voice lowers almost to a whisper. She looks straight in the camera, and the last thing he hear is. Autumn "Are you happy?"
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