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The 7 Pack Challenge!; Oh wait... no love for Love?
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Topic Started: Dec 8 2011, 02:10 AM (184 Views)
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Turner
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Dec 8 2011, 02:10 AM
Post #1
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- Posts:
- 585
- Group:
- Hall of Fame
- Member
- #35
- Joined:
- February 17, 2010
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{Kanye West’s “Power” blasts over the p.a system as Troy Turner walks out from behind the curtain to a massive ovation from the sold out house show in Canada. Troy Turner is wearing his trademark black sunglasses and striped black suit and royal blue dress shirt. Troy walks before stopping halfway down the ramp, turns towards the stage, and throws his arms in the air sending orange and purple pyro off which the camera displays from the reflection of Turner’s sunglasses. Troy flashes his million dollar smile to the camera before walking the rest of the way to the ring. Troy asks for a microphone as the pop still stays strong.}
{Troy Turner} You know I’d love to come out here and talk about the huge main event at the pay per view. I’d love to call Disturbed a big fucking moron, or tell Jimmy Helmsley he’s a lazy piece of shit… but that’s going to have to wait. I'd love to address the six pack challenge that will take place this Sunday at The Challenger Series...but it seems some annoying, bitter, bitch ass nigga has decided to get involved in something he wasn't good enough to be apart of. You see, it’s some linguini haired asshole named Kidd Loves nuts in his mouth… you guys heard of him?
{The crowd laughs and follows up with some boos for one of the company’s hottest ‘bad guys’ Kidd Love.}
{Troy Turner} Kidd Love… you run everybody down, you verbally assault every single competitor in the six pack challenge. A challenge that they earned the right to be a part of. We all won matches and we all qualified our way into the main event. We didn't get magically selected into a World Title match like you did at Fear Itself after Outkast got a hold of my pimp cup. We got an opportunity and made the best of that opportunity. For you to run us all down, you sound like a jealous idiot... because…well… you are a jealous idiot. So you aren’t impressed with what I've done huh? That’s interesting. Not impressed that a year ago I tore this company apart wrecking everyone in my path. So what MFTT? What have you done for me lately? I guess all I've done is beat Disturbed and some loser Kidd Love. Hey, wait a second. Maybe that's why nobody gives a shit with what I've done lately... nobody gives a shit about you Kidd Love! Why would they care if I beat some guy who loses his bitches to poultry? Poultry nigga, poultry. I could see a steak, but not some fucking turkey.
{Troy Turner smiles and keeps shaking his head while saying turkey to himself as the crowd laughs along}
{Troy Turner} And then you want to talk about my crappy World Title reign... Put it this way Love, my worst day in NEW tops the best day of your underachieving life. I just don’t get it folks. I…I really don’t. Everyone is saying what has Troy Turner done lately, but what they don’t get is it's not a matter of what I've done lately. It's what I do all the fucking time. I fucking win matches. WINNING. It’s a foreign concept to half the NEW roster, but it’s what I do. I get shit done, and I built a wrestling company to prove it. If New Era Wrestling puts people in my way like Eliza Corvin, Disturbed, or your bitch ass... it's not my fault nobody gives a fuck that I owned you. That's your problem. And that's why you're on the outside, crying, while looking in. You had a shot to get in this match... only one problem though, you ran into mother…
{Troy Turner holds the mic up in the air so the crowd can yell FUCKING.}
{Troy Turner} Troy Turner. I know you believe I’m clinging on past glorious… but I did JUST beat you didn’t I? Keep telling yourself I was handed this match when in reality you had the same shot, and fucking lost to the superior talent. Now? Now you act like…like the stat boy insulting the varsity basketball team as they play for the championship he wishes he was gifted enough to play for. Well keep my stats motherfucker, because nobody can fucking touch them.
{The crowd pops and starts a ‘Turner’ chant as Troy takes a deep breath and smiles}
{Troy Turner} Sorry about that. Believe me; I'd hate to give Kidd Love any publicity... but what an annoying prick huh? It's like he's filling Dean Jones' shoes, only with none of the charisma, just the obnoxious personality. Well at least all of you guys now know who he is.
But thank God, now we can get to the six pack challenge. Now I can talk about people who are actually in the main event! What a concept! The main event, or which was so amusingly named The Outkast and Psychosis Show! A show that nobody would watch and would be canceled faster than Magic Johnsons late night talk show. May be an old reference, but still relatable today. Psychosis, Outkast likes to talk about how you haven't changed. But you know what; listening to your promos... you have changed. You've become... well... an asshole.
{The crowd starts a small Asshole chant before Troy Turner begins speaking again.} {Troy Turner} And for the life of me I cannot figure out why. I mean the way you talk and carry yourself, you would think that strap around your waist is a bit more important. Like it was a World Title. But it's not; it's the North American Championship. A fine belt in its own right, but Psychosis...come on, you don't run shit. You may be a legend, and your run in UIWF is unmatched besides maybe Kurt Angle... but the way you were talking… I don’t know. It sounded like… it sounded like Troy Turner! The arrogance, the swagger, you cocky motherfucker you!
{Troy Turner laughs to himself taking off his sunglasses and speaking again.}
{Troy Turner} Although you need to get over your age Psycho. Nobody doubts your abilities at this point in your life… so stop bringing that shit up. You’re like the elderly man who still mows his own lawn and lifts heavy shit just to prove he isn’t 5 seconds away from dying. You aren’t dying and we all know you still got it. Ok? Happy? You old faggot?
The question isn’t whether you still have gas in the tank… it’s whether you got enough to be World Champion in New Era Wrestling. Pay attention to that last part, New Era Wrestling. Sorry as I look around I don’t see Shane Douglas… pretty sure Disturbed murdered him. Sorry I don’t see your thugged out mentor New Jack… although I’m pretty sure he’s dead as well. And sorry but I definitely don’t see a ‘motivated’ Jimmy Helmsley… that fucker is without a doubt dead and buried face to ass with Mike Muscle six feet under.
No Psychosis, what I do see is a house that I’ve built. I’ve made it to the top of this mountain…so while you walk around with your mighty North American Championship and your irrefutable legacy proudly displayed for the entire world to be in awe of, you still haven’t proved shit here.
{Troy Turner walks around a bit and scratches the stubble on the side of his face.}
{Troy Turner} You are right about one thing Psychosis; I do not want you in my head. Do NOT want that. I mean you got into Outkast’s head and he’s biting his tongue and shit. Don’t give yourself too much credit though Psychosis, I’m pretty sure Outkast was imagining his tongue was my dick. No biting!
Outkast it's amazing how you summed up my current dilemma. I may have become stale because I went…I went a bit too far in the past. I dropped some lights on Hannibal Caine...now what can I do? I fucked Queen's daughter... well now what can I do?! Well shit Outkast, Caine has other body parts and Queen’s daughter has other cavities. Duh!
{Troy Turner mockingly calls Outkast stupid as the crowd laughs along.} {Troy Turner} So what you're telling me is that by becoming the most entertaining wrestler in this federation, and winning a bunch of high profile matches... that people have gotten so used to my success...it's not exciting anymore? Oh… that’s just Turner. That thriving son of a bitch did it again! I've set the bar too high? God damnit, why did I do that... why did I have to be so fucking amazing! I mean look at the online predictions for this match. Matt Starr is going to win because... well he's the underdog. Psychosis is going to win because... well it's about time he should win that old piece of shit. How about this. Let’s all try this one. Regardless of how my dominance has become old news in New Era Wrestling... MotherFUCKING Troy Turner is going to win... well because, I'm the motherFUCKING best.
Regardless if New Era Wrestling has gotten used to the idea…the idea that I am responsible for the extra zero's they see at the end of their paychecks and may have taken what I've done for this company for granted, nothing has changed. Nothing. In your mind it has changed, but facts remain facts Outkast. The climax of my career is me taking your Gold and having a proper title reign. And since Jimmy Helmsley has fallen off the earth, that’s a real possibility this time around. That’s the fucking climax to this story. To my legacy…and whether I drop some lights on you, I fuck your sister, I drench you in Purple Drank or you simply get skull fucked in the middle of the ring; At The Challenger Series I'm taking your World Heavyweight Championship.
I respect you as a wrestler and admire what you’ve tried to do with the throne. But as you so eloquently put it…The cannon fodder has served its purpose. You’ve kept the throne warm, but it’s time you take that bullet to the brain and let MFTT take his rightful spot in New Era Wrestling. Don’t worry champ, it’s going to hurt… but at least I’ll make you famous in the process.
{Troy Turner stares at the camera for a few seconds before dropping the mic and exiting the ring. Troy Turner slaps hands with some of the fans in the front row before walking up the ramp to the sounds of screaming fans and his theme music.}
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 2x NEW World Heavyweight Champion 2010 Awards Best Moment, Best Feud, Best Heel, Best Superstar, Funniest Member 2011 Awards Funniest Member
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