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Turnabout; aka The Flip Side
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Topic Started: Oct 6 2011, 11:38 PM (219 Views)
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Hisoka
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Oct 6 2011, 11:38 PM
Post #1
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- Posts:
- 495
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- #230
- Joined:
- June 9, 2011
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I have just come to realize that there has never been a time where I haven't enjoyed the spotlight. Haven't reveled in the cheers of a crowd, regardless of its size. It makes me wonder, what it would be like to have this vanish all of a sudden. What is it like to experience the other side of this coin. To be scorned at every turn, instead of adored. To be mocked and viciously berated, instead of loved and appreciated. This is a curious and disturbing thought indeed, and I hope that I should not have to experience the flip side of stardom for quite some time.
- the musings of a jester
---
The scene cuts in to a fashionable wooden room, with a large table adorned with a map of the world and surrounded by chairs sitting in the middle of the room. Along the back walls there are two pictures sitting centered above the table, one being Queen Elizabeth the Second, and the other being Governor General David Johnston. A few seconds pass and a door off to the side opens up as Bonbo comes walking in, and the audience explodes into cheers. Bonbo basks in the cheers for a moment before taking a seat at one of the chairs. A few moments pass as Jackson comes walking in, his face stern as he is dressed in a khaki jacket with an epaulette showing a crown over two stars, a shirt and tie, and a pair of khaki pants. The crowd ooohs in admiration as Jackson pulls out the chair and takes a seat, making sure to keep his uniform as pristine as possible. A few more seconds pass, as Hisoka comes walking sternly into the room, wearing a similar outfit to Jackson's, but Hisoka's breast is covered in various medal's and his epaulettes show a crossed saber and baton. As Hisoka reaches the chair, he pulls it out and the audience explodes into a round of boos and hisses. Hisoka pauses for a moment, looking stunned.
Hisoka: What? Was something not right? Here, let me try that again.
Hisoka quickly turns and exits the room, and as he exits the crowd erupts into cheers. Upon hearing the cheers, Hisoka turns around his a smirk sprawled happily across his face, as the cheers instantly turn to vitriol. Hisoka just pauses looking stunned.
Hisoka: ROCHESTER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
The camera swivels around, showing Rochester sitting on a chair, casually sipping a cup of tea.
Rochester: Just giving you my full and honest opinion sir! As per the terms of our negotiations!
The camera swivels back around to Hisoka, who is standing there looking angrily towards Rochester.
Hisoka: Then tell me what's with all the booing!
The camera spins around again to Rochester, who takes another sip of tea before setting it down.
Rochester: Very well sir, if you insist.
Rochester clears his throat for a moment.
Rochester: To begin with, I'm not sure why you are wearing the Brigadier General epaulettes from pre-1928, when that position has since been changed into the Brigadier, with an entirely different set of decorations. Secondly, despite the prevalence of animal mascots, like the right honorable Sir Nils Olav, all military animals need to be properly enrolled in the army in order to be present at any sort of formal meeting.
The camera turns around to Hisoka who has his arms folded across his chest.
Hisoka: Are you done?
Rochester: Indeed I am sir! Just doing my part to ensure maximal historical accuracy! For the fans of course.
Hisoka furrows his brow.
Hisoka: Naturally.
Hisoka motions at Bonbo.]
Hisoka: Alright Bonbo, let's go get you a promotion.
Hisoka turns and leaves the room, as the scene fades out and fades back in to where Bonbo comes proudly walking back in wearing an epaulette showing two chevrons. Bonbo is quickly followed by Hisoka, who now has epaulettes showing a crown over three stars. As both enter the room, a polite round of applause is heard from the audience. As an annoyed smirk spreads on Hisoka face.
Hisoka: Alright, now with that little mishap cleared up. Let us begin. All rise for the raising of the flags, and the national anthems.
Jackson quickly stands up, as the two men and a monkey turn and face the wall, where a Canadian flag is unfurled. A few moments pass before the first notes of 'O Canada' can be heard. Hisoka and Jackson can be heard singing along vigorously to the tune, while Bonbo is cheerfully hollering along with the passages as well. As the last notes of O Canada fade out, the Union Jack is unfurled on the other side of the pictures as Hisoka, Jackson, and Bonbo all turn and face it with military precision and timing. 'God Save the Queen' begins to play, as the three once more sing along with the music. As the song finishes up, all three men turn around and take their seats.
Hisoka: Excellent. Now Men! I've gathered everyone here today to this war room because we have matters most pressing to contend with!
Hisoka turns his gaze from Bonbo to Jackson, before ultimately landing it on the camera.
Hisoka: It has come to our attention that Nathan Kaye, fellow member of the mighty british empire, has to relinquish the British Commonwealth title.
Jackson boos a little, but Hisoka raises a hand to silence him.
Hisoka: And it has also come to our attention that booked to compete for it are none other then 5 interlopers. 5 deserters of the british way! 5 AMERICANS!
Jackson gasps, as Bonbo lets out an eek of terror. Hisoka lets out a long breath as he leans back in the chair.
Hisoka: But amidst all of this disheartening news, there is a glimmer of hope. A bastion against this storm of madness.
Hisoka pauses for a moment, leaving Jackson waiting with bated breath.
Hisoka: It seems that my patriotism these last few weeks have not gone unnoticed. And I am charged with the task of recapturing the british glory, and keeping that title where it belongs, on BRITISH OR CANADIAN SOIL!
Jackson pounds the table lightly with his fist.
Jackson: Here here!
Bonbo pounds the table and lets out a shrill shriek of approval as well.
Hisoka: Which brings me to why I've gathered you, my crack team of advisors-
Rochester: AHEM!
Hisoka pauses and looks up inquisitively at Rochester.
Rochester: In what world does it make sense for a trained monkey to be an advisor? He can't even convey basic concepts, let alone utilize grammar more complex then a 3 year old. And to be able to even accomplish that rudimentary task would require years and years of intensive training which I doubt Bonbo has received seeing as he is trained for performance and not for language comprehension. If Nim Chimpsky could barely do it, I highly doubt Bonbo can even come close to matching him.
Bonbo hits the table a little angry with Rochester's words, as Hisoka sighs and drops his head down a little.
Hisoka: FINE! My crack advisor, and my proud and noble mascot.
Hisoka looks up expectantly, and when nothing but silence is heard, he nods his head approvingly before turning his gaze back down on the table.
Hisoka: Which brings me to our planning meeting, Colonel Jackson, the intelligence reports if you will!
Jackson: Sir! Yes sir!
Jackson reaches down beneath the desk and pulls out some manilla envelopes filled with papers, Jackson sets the papers down in front of him and nods, as a loud scoff is heard from the audience.
Rochester: Am I to believe that those papers were under the table the entire time sir? Why not have Jackson just walk in with them. Have you never heard of this little quibbling matter of object permanence?
Hisoka furrows his brow, as he slams a fist into the table.
Hisoka: ROCHESTER!
The camera swivels around, to show Rochester still sitting calmly in his chair, sipping his tea.
Rochester: Yes sir?
The camera pans back to Hisoka.
Hisoka: You really aren't being helpful here! It's called suspension of disbelief and I'd like you to practice some for a just little bit so we can get on with this and not worry about every little minute detail!
Rochester: So, you'd prefer that I forgo my own strict moral code and ethics to let you produce a vastly subpar product, when you are clearly capable of more sir?
Hisoka sighs as he drops down his head for a few moments, before flinging it back up, a wide forced smile on his face.
Hisoka: No...No...It's quite alright...Keep it coming! We can handle it! Great work!
Rochester: I do try my best sir.
Hisoka sighs heavily as he turns back to Jackson, who is trying to contain his laughter. Hisoka just stares at Jackson for a few moments, before tapping his finger anxiously on the table.
Hisoka: THE INTELLIGENCE COLONEL JACKSON!
Jackson immediately stops his restrained laughter and fumbles around with the papers.
Jackson: Ah! Y-Yes...First up, Mike Miller! Former British Commonwealth Champion! Member of White Man Inc.
Hisoka nods, as he takes the file from Jackson, and begins to flip through it, nodding to himself.
Hisoka: Excellent work Jackson. Now where to put him...
Hisoka pauses as he looks down at the map in front of him. Hisoka strokes his chin thoughtfully for a few moments, before snapping his fingers as inspiration flashes in his eyes. Hisoka reaches down and quickly produces a small figure of Mike Miller from no where, and places it firmly on Russia.
Hisoka: Perfec-
Rochester: AHEM!
Hisoka's eyes widen, a little as he stands up angrily and looks at Rochester.
Hisoka: IT'S CALLED SLEIGHT OF HAND ROCHESTER! IT'S A PRODUCTION! IT'S SUPPOSED TO COME FROM NO WHERE! THAT'S THE POINT! LOOK WANT TO SEE ME MAKE IT VANISH!
Hisoka angrily picks up the figure and rapidly vanishes it and makes it reappear in various different places, from behind Jackson's ear, from his other hand, and even managed to push it through the table from the bottom.
Rochester: Sorry sir! Just choked a little on my tea. No complaints here! Absolutely spiffy job you are doing!
Another short round of curt applause is heard, as Hisoka, who is now breathing heavily, just sighs as he collapses back down into his chair. Beside him Jackson is seen laughing quietly to himself.
Hisoka: I pay him too much for this...Far too much...
Hisoka shakes his head clear, as he returns to his battle face.
Hisoka: Perfect placement for him. The former USSR, a strong past built upon grandiose achievements, but still a tumultuous an unknown future. An apt description if I ever heard one.
Hisoka nods with satisfaction as he turns and looks at Jackson who is still chuckling quietly to himself. A few seconds pass before Hisoka raps the table quickly with his knuckles, snapping Jackson back onto task.
Jackson: Sir!
Hisoka looks at him.
Hisoka: The next file, Lieutenant Colonel Jackson.
Jackson looks a little distressed, as he looks down at his epaulettes which now show a crown over a single star.
Jackson: What? I was demoted? When? FOR WHAT!
Hisoka looks sternly at him.
Hisoka: Insubordination, and cohorting with the enemy. Keep it up and I may have to ask Sergeant Bonbo to escort you from the room.
Bonbo eeks in confirmation, his epaulettes now showing three chevrons.
Jackson: How did Bonbo get a promotion!
Hisoka narrows his eyes.
Hisoka: Major Jackson, the intelligence. If you would be so kind.
Jackson frowns as he looks down at his epaulettes, now just showing a crown, before handing over the next folder.
Jackson: Nate Rivers.
Hisoka tears the file out of Jackson's hand as he opens it up and begins to flip through it.
Hisoka: Ah, yes. The fine upstart, managed to tap out Orochi was it? Very promising out look on this man.
Hisoka once more reaches down to the table as he produces a miniature Nate River figure from no where. Hisoka pauses for a second as he looks up, waiting for another interruption. When nothing comes, he returns his gaze on the table. A few seconds pass, as another flash of inspiration hits Hisoka's eyes, before Hisoka places the figure down on China.
Hisoka: Excellent. A new up and comer in just about everything, full of great power and potential, but still ultimately a mystery.
Hisoka nods at his choice approvingly. Jackson nods in agreement, before quickly grabbing the next folder from the pile and handing it to Hisoka.
Jackson: Michael Storm! Self-proclaimed Prince of Pain, and seems to want to decapitate you for some reason or another...
Rochester: That was a metaphor, you dolt.
Jackson's face sort of twitches a little with shock, as a small grin appears on Hisoka's face as he takes the file.
Hisoka: Indeed he is. Now then, on to the Prince...I lost to three men...true...thinks I underestimate him...false...talks about how I can't handle the pressure...definitely false...
Rochester: You are using far too many ellipses, you simpleton.
Hisoka furrows his brow a bit, but ignores Rochester's interruption and continues on.
Hisoka: Though I am a little confused, since when is losing in a match with more competitors worse then losing in a match one on one?
Hisoka looks at the camera inquisitively
Hisoka: As special pleading as this sounds, I wasn't pinned in that match, I wasn't made to tap out in that match. I was just outside of the ring tussling with Disturbed whilst Starr took Priest down and pinned him. How is that worse then someone else pinning you, and you alone?
Rochester: And now you have erred to the other side of the spectrum and are not using near enough ellipses, you dunce.
Hisoka's face freezes, as his eyebrows twitches a little, before slamming the file down on the table as he turns and stares at Rochester.
Hisoka: YOU JUST SAID I WAS USING TOO MANY! AND BESIDES HOW CAN YOU EVEN TELL HOW MANY I'M USING I'M TALKING!
Rochester: I have my ways sir.
Hisoka's face begins to twitch a little with rage. The camera swivels around to show Rochester still sitting calmly in the chair, sipping his tea quietly.
Rochester: Another point sir, how is my tea always full? I am positive that I do not fill it up. This reveals such a gaping whole in your continuity, and I shall not stand for it sir.
The camera turns back around to Hisoka who's face is now tweaking angrily.
Hisoka: THAT IS IT! I TRIED! I REALLY DID! BUT YOU ARE FIRED ROCHESTER!
The camera turns back around to Rochester, who is still sitting there calmly.
Rochester: Righteo sir. Mind if I finish my tea, it is quite divine.
The camera swoops back to Hisoka, who breaks free of his anger as he beams proudly.
Hisoka: But of course! I do make a splendid cup of tea, it is nice to be appreciated once in a while!
Hisoka shoots Jackson a dirty look, as Jackson throws up his hands in protest.
Jackson: I told you I'm a coffee man!
Hisoka narrows his gaze angrily.
Hisoka: Well Captain Jackson, I believe Warrant Officer Class Two Bonbo agrees with me that tea is by and far the superior beverage of choice.
Jackson opens his mouth in protest, as his epaulettes now show just a solitary crown, but he quickly closes it as Bonbo jumps up and down in agreement, his epaulettes also showing a single crown but much less ornate.
Rochester: Excellent, that means I should be here for the rest of the year at the rate this cup is going.
The smile is instantly wiped off of Hisoka's face as he slams his fist onto the table, knocking the figurines over.
Hisoka: YOU ARE FIRED SIR! I WILL NOT BE HEARING ANY MORE OF YOUR REMARKS! FINISH YOUR TEA AND BE GONE!
Silence is all that is heard in the room for a few seconds, before Hisoka sighs in relief as he fixes the figurines he knocked over.
Hisoka: Alright...Now, where were we...Ah, Storm. Yes, Storm. Where to place you on the board, you cute adorable walking logical inconsistency you...
Hisoka smirks a little as he passes his hands over the board, before coming to a stop above Canada.
Hisoka: Excellent. Adorably cute in the world scale-
Rochester: Are you not supposed to be Canada sir? What an absolutely brilliant tactic just now. Completely undermined your main point and made yourself look foolish. And all in one fell swoop to boot. Such efficiency deserves a promotion I say sir!
Hisoka slams his hand on the table as he looks up.
Hisoka: I FIRED YOU! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMMENT ON ANYTHING THAT IS GOING ON HERE!
Rochester: I'm freelancing sir.
Hisoka looks stunned, as he angrily raises his hand, then lowers it, before eventually just burying his head in his hand.
Hisoka: Fine...FINE! Just going to ignore you.
Hisoka breaths in and out slowly for a few seconds, before raising his head up and nodding.
Hisoka: That's the plan then. Excellent work men! Promotions all around!
Hisoka smirks as snaps his fingers as his epaulettes now show a saber crossed under a baton, a star, and a crown. Bonbo and Jackson's epaulettes now both show a single star. Bonbo shrieks his approval as Jackson looks down in disbelief at his.
Jackson: HEY! You said promotion!
Hisoka turns and looks at Jackson.
Hisoka: I'm sorry, mistakes were made today. And as my head of intelligence you should of seen Rochester's plan coming so we could prepare against it.
Rochester: Well to be fair, you did learn of it last week. You just did not bother doing anything to stop it sir.
Hisoka: As such, you were demoted down to Warrant Officer First Class, upon which time you were awarded a promotion back to my Second Lieutenant in charge of intelligence.
Hisoka nods approvingly, as Jackson goes to protest, but stops himself as he just shakes his head.
Jackson: Well, Roch-
Hisoka angrily stares at Jackson as he mentions that name.
Jackson: Well, that disembodied voice that I can only assume is some form of mad delusion caused by varying forms of dementia in my visual and audio cortex is correct though. We are supposed to be Canada in this war game. So we can't have Storm being there.
Hisoka frowns thoughtfully as he stares down at the table.
Hisoka: How many files are left anyhow? Three?
Jackson shakes his head.
Jackson: Two. Misty Lyn, and Linnea LaCroix.
Hisoka frowns.
Hisoka: I don't think we have enough countries...
Rochester: Do I really even need to comment here sir?
Hisoka's eyes continue to scan the table.
Hisoka: Not to mention, how am I supposed to relate this back to the ladder match? Talk about how we race towards the arctic to try to claim it?
Rochester: Excellent forethought sir. Your next British Commonwealth champion ladies and gentlemen, Hisoka!
Hisoka furrows his brow, as he looks up.
Hisoka: That would be GENERAL Hisoka to you!
A loud ooo is heard from the freelancers.
Rochester: The only thing that deserves the title general around here is incompetence sir.
Hisoka slams his fist on the table.
Hisoka: THAT IS IT! LEAVE! I WILL NOT CONTINUE THIS UNTIL YOU DEPART!
Rochester: So for the good of humanity I should stick around sir?
Hisoka points angrily towards the door.
Hisoka: This room is private property, and I have it booked. So please remove yourself from the premises at once before I involve the authorities and have you removed for trespassing.
The camera spins around to where Rochester is still sitting calmly in his chair, sipping his tea.
Rochester: I'd be happy to leave sir.
Rochester sets the tea down on the table next to him.
Rochester: Except, for a rare and obscure british law that says, and I quote. 'Wherever the Queen's likeness and British Flag reside, any and all british citizens will be allowed, free from any trespassing laws, from now an on to perpetuity.' It's designed to ensure that hooligans like yourself do not deface, defame, or otherwise defile any of our prized figureheads.
Rochester slowly picks his tea back up.
Rochester: So, I am utilizing this right as a British Citizen to perform my civic duty of protection the likeness of her royal majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second.
Rochester takes a sip of the tea, as the camera spins back around to Hisoka, who narrows his eyes at Rochester. A few moments pass before Hisoka stands up from his chair and turns around and goes to remove the picture of the queen from the wall.
Rochester: So just throwing the patriotism out now are we sir? Just going to abandon all your planning so far, just to try to get rid me? A fine citizen you are sir. An absolute inspiration to the masses.
Hisoka stops, as he breaths in and out slowly for a few seconds again.
Hisoka: You are quite right. Second Lieutenant Jackson.
Hisoka nods towards Jackson.
Hisoka: Second Lieutenant Bonbo.
Hisoka nods towards Bonbo.
Hisoka: I believe our war council has debated enough on these matters for now. Great work today. Men, DISMISSED!
Rochester: Just going to ignore Misty and Linnea are we sir?
Hisoka manages to squelch his anger as Jackson and Bonbo both rise from their seats. With a loud click of their heels, all three men turn and depart the room, closing the door behind them, as the freelancers explode into a vigorous round of applause and cheers. The camera slowly swivels around to show Rochester still sitting calmly in his chair, as he sips the last of dregs of tea from his cup.
Rochester: Do you see sir. Do you see the power that you were missing now? The power of authority. For without contractual obligation, what is to stop me from continuing this? Week by week. Promo by promo. So long as you continue with this patriotism charade, I will have my in. And you will face the fury of Rochester P. Wilbur...AUDIENCE!
Rochester lets out a evil laugh, as he picks up his tea cup, now full again, and takes a long slow sip. The camera pans up and around, showing the map on the table. As the camera pans out, it flicks to black for a moment, as now the table shows a giant grinning guise of a jester. The camera slowly zooms in on the grinning guise as Rochester's maniacal laughter fills the room as everything slowly fades to black.
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