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Trust
Topic Started: Jun 24 2011, 03:36 AM (194 Views)
Rich
useless fuckup
[ * ]

The White Man stands in what appears to be an abandoned warehouse.

WM: Hello wrestling fans. Recently, Blake Blomberg has made some allegations against myself and my organization regarding his dogs. He accuses White Man Inc of having taken them, dognapping them if you will, while NEW was on its British and Irish tour. Well I wish to take this time to clear my good name, because my associates and I had absolutely nothing to do with this heinous crime. You may be wondering how I will be able to prove my innocence. I shouldn't have to prove my innocence since you're supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. Unfortunately that's not how it works in the JEW-dicial system, especially if you dare to be politically incorrect. Well anyway, it turns out that the real dognapper made a video bragging about his misdeeds, and White Man Inc just happens to have a copy. So without further ado, let's watch.

We see a white guy in obvious blackface dressed like a stereotypical gangbanger with an ak 47 and a bottle of Olde English.

D-Gangsta: Yo yo yo my name be D-Gangsta. I be straight outta Compton nigga and I be crazy as fuck muthafucka. Bitch, I be shootin yo ass just cuz you look at me wrong. Shit I just jacked deez muthafuckin dogs cause I be runnin a muthfuckin dogfightin ring nigga just like ma homie Michael Vick. Bitch I don't give a fuck if dem muthafuckin dogs get hurt or killed. If dem dogs get too fucked up, or they lose too fuckin much, I just fry dem muthafuckas. I just don't give a fuck niggas. I get drink 40s, smoke blunts, and make white bitches suck my big black jimmy. West Siiide muthafuckas!

We return to the White Man who looks concerned.

WM: Appalling, simply appalling. Believe me, I feel bad for Blake's plight and I promise that White Man Inc will do whatever it can to find those dogs and return them to their home safely. My hero, the Fuhrer, was a huge proponent of animal rights and believed that a civilized race treated it's animals humanely. It's been claimed that Hitler went so far as to be a vegetarian, but this is just Jew propaganda designed to make him look like a pussy. However, the Fuhrer would never have approved of dog-fighting rings and would have considered anyone running one to be an inferior being. But of course it is him that is condemned by popular opinion to be the most evil man in history. I just don't get it.

While he's ranting, one of Blake's dogs runs by in the background.

WM: Well that's about all that I have to say on this topic. I just want to let Blake know that even though Mike Miller will beat the shit outta him this Friday night, I still wish him good luck. As for Mike and Brad Valley, you both have important matches coming up, and I'd like to give you a little pep talk. Can you two come up here real quick?

Miller and Valley walk up and stand by White Man. He puts his hands on their shoulders.

WM: Boys you've done a pretty good job so far and I think that we will only improve as a unit. For now though, I just have a simple message for you two.

He looks at Valley.

WM: Win

He looks at Miller.

WM: Or

He looks at the camera.

WM: Die

White Man slaps their shoulders hard and pushes them away.

WM: Go on you guys, you have more training to do.

They walk off.

WM: Well I guess it's almost time for me to go as well. One last thing though, I am still planning to hold the first annual White Man Inc LGBT Pride Bash this Sunday night on NEW TV. Now, I must say that I have not been getting the reception that I've been hoping for. Not very many people have informed me of their participation. This disappoints me greatly, because I have been pouring a lot of time and money into making this a fun and festive celebration and it really hurts to not have my efforts acknowledged. I know that some people believe that I have less than honorable intentions behind this event, but I promise you that this could not be farther from the truth. I am honestly trying to fight homophobia and transphobia. Many people assume that I must hate gay people because of my pro-Nazi beliefs but this is incorrect. There were gay Nazis after all, such as Ernst Rohm. But this has nothing to do with Nazism. I don't care if you're Black, Jewish, Asian, you're all more than welcome to attend my LGBT Pride Bash and I sincerely hope that you do.

Blake's dog runs by again while WM Inc mooks try to catch him.

WM: Well now I really must go. Tune in to both NEW shows this weekend. Watch or die.
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