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Aliens Exist
Topic Started: Apr 29 2011, 10:39 AM (217 Views)
Rich
useless fuckup
[ * ]
The White Man sits on the couch holding the NEW TV belt.

WM: Ain’t it a beaut? Yeah I told you guys that I’d get it back. That match before the pay per view was just a fluke, the result of cheap trickery and incompetent refereeing. What happened at Bloodlust was a much more accurate picture of our abilities. My pupil, with all of my help, took that punk ass thief and made him his bitch. Spencer couldn’t handle the awesome power of the white warrior unchained by the hooknosed forces of multi-culturalism and political-correctness. Even that big blue retard that he created somehow couldn’t stop us. No, there is nobody who can stop us. Travis Blaine can send out all the clowns he employs, it simply won’t matter. Gage Padula, you’re just some dopey Canadian. Why don’t you spend your weekend watching hockey playoffs? That’ll be a much better use of your time; better some other dumb Canuck gets fucked up than yourself.

He stands up and holds the belt around his waist.

WM: Fuck, I think it looks better around my waist than Keebler’s. Maybe I should dump his ass and wrestle myself. Of course, the truth is that I’m simply too awesome to bother myself with the subhumans of the NEW. Anyone foolish enough to get in the ring with the White Man would be violently slaughtered and I’d be back in prison. Not that I couldn’t handle the pen. Hell I thrived there. But I think I’ll stay on the outside for a bit longer.

His phone goes off.

WM: I better get this. It might take awhile, so...

---------------------------------------

Blake Blomberg laid in bed in his darkened bedroom, the sound of a snoring Scrotus filling the air.

“Blakeâ€

Blake looked puzzled.

“Blakeâ€

Blake looked at Scrotus, who was still sleeping. The voice sure didn’t sound like White Man or any of his loser friends.

“Hello Blakeâ€

Blake: Um hi?

“Do you know who I am?â€

Blake: No.

“We’ve met before Blake. You do not remember?â€

Blake: I’ve met a lot of people.

“We have met recently, out in the desert.â€

Blake thought about it. There was no one that he remembered meeting out in the hot hellhole of a desert. There was that weird encounter with an alien, but obviously that was the product of a hallucination fueled by exhaustion and dehydration. There’s no way in hell that he actually met an extra-terrestrial.

“Yes Blake, it is I, the visitor to your world.â€

Blake sighed. He was just tired.

“Blake, I wish to communicate with you.â€

Blake shut his eyes and attempted to drift off to sleep.

“Blake, you there Blake?

Blake ignored him.

“Please do not ignore me Blake. I wish to communicate with you.â€

Blake continued to ignore him.

“Blake, do not do this to me. I know you are there. I will keep attempting to reach you until you respond.â€

Blake was getting really annoyed.

Blake: Go away, I know you don’t exist.

“Then why are you speaking to me?â€

Blake: Cause I’m insane.

“You’re not insane Blake. I am indeed real, and I am indeed contacting you.â€
Blake decided to just play along with his delusions.

Blake: Alright fine, what do you want?

“Well actually, the purpose of this transmission was to test the communication device that I implanted inside you. You see -â€

Blake: It works. Good night.

“Yes I see. Perhaps I should disconnect and make contact with you at a later date.â€

Blake: Just the former will do.

“Good bye Blake.â€

Blake: Bye already.

Blake sighed and placed his hands over his face. He knew he was crazy before, but this was getting way out of hand.
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