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The best defense is a strong offense; ...and some purple drank
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Topic Started: Sep 25 2010, 12:21 AM (268 Views)
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Turner
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Sep 25 2010, 12:21 AM
Post #1
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- Posts:
- 585
- Group:
- Hall of Fame
- Member
- #35
- Joined:
- February 17, 2010
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{Troy Turner is in the master bedroom of his luxurious mansion in Atlanta Georgia. Troy Turner is relaxing on his king sized bed watching some television when he hears someone walking by his room. Troy Turner yells out to get the persons attention}
{Troy Turner} Yo Jeeves!!! You got my stuff?!?
{A white middle aged gentleman walks in the room instead of the expected Jeeves.}
…I do apologize sir. Jeeves is on vacation. I am replacing him until next week.
{Troy Turner} Vacation huh? I didn’t approve that shit. You look familiar anyway…
Why yes sir, I am your families accountant. They asked me to fill in with Jeeves gone. I am…thrilled with that decision…in fact I have…
{Troy Turner} Bitch I don’t want to hear your life story. So you gotta take a break from crunching your numbers to wipe my ass for the week. We get it… congratulations. Did Jeeves leave you a list of what to get me?
Yes, I have it with me now. You asked for prescription strength cough syrup and 7-UP. Are you sick Mr. Turner?
{Troy Turner pumps his fist with a “yes” as he reaches over to grab his giant size gold cup. The cup is covered in different colored diamonds.}
{Troy Turner} Sick? I’m sick of you nigga…
{The Turner family accountant quickly covers his face. Turner has a perplexed look on his face}
{Troy Turner} What the fuck was that? Why are you covering your face?
Well… I know that you have a… tendency… of spitting in peoples faces to show your… displeasure. I would rather not receive that type of treatment.
{Troy Turner} You know what that is amazing. You probably don’t even watch wrestling BUT you knew what your assignment was. So you, being a hard working individual, prepared yourself to take care of me…and knew I liked to spit in people’s faces. That shows dedication…. That shows heart. You my friend are the fucking man. And motherFUCKING Troy Turner can dig that. The world needs more people like me and you. You know what? Let me borrow your cell… I’m going to call my dad now and tell him to get you a raise and a blow job.
The accountants face lights up with jubilation as he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his blackberry. Troy Turner takes the blackberry…dials one number…then throws it against the wall…smashing it into pieces. The accountant can’t believe what he has just seen.}
{Troy Turner} Why you look so surprised? Not only do I spit in peoples faces… but I throw cell phones as well, guess you didn’t study that hard did you?! That shit JUST happened. Your fucking phone, just got thrown across the fucking room, and now it’s shattered in 1,000 fucking pieces. PURPLE DRANK NIGGA! Fuck you and your phone.
{The accountant can’t believe the way he’s being treated when he goes to raise his voice. Suddenly Troy Turner hawks a massive loogy and spits it right in the face of the accountant. The accountant shakes his head in nervousness and trepidation…and runs out of the room crying. Just as Troy Turner goes to mix his purple drank in his sweet pimp cup, his phone rings.}
{Troy Turner} Hello? Jeeves what’s up? How come you didn’t tell me you were going on vacation? What? Yeah the new guy is here… but I doubt he will be much longer. What? No I didn’t spit in his face….NO I didn’t break his phone. Yeah…Ok I did both of those things… but somebody had to set him straight. He was mistreating me and saying the N-word to disrespect us. He’s lucky I didn’t sick Connor on his ass, get his neck snapped.
{Troy Turner pours some cough syrup into the cup.}
{Troy Turner} Yeah I’m packed for the flight. I’m going to OWN Kayla Jade… and I’m going to win our match as well. Jeeves you should come down to ringside with me, I’ll throw her to the outside… you accidently fall head first in those titties… what? I know you’re on vacation…I’m just saying. Man… don’t worry about Big Phil. I’m not anymore… you know why? He got his razor wire, I got Vic Connor and some purple drank. He’s got his equalizer and I got mine. Think about it Jeeves, I destroy that fag Caine’s legs weeks ago. And what’s the worst that has happened? A couple of cuts on my head? Fuck that Jeeves… I’m still alive; I’m surviving whatever Big Phil has thrown at me. Now? Now it’s a time for a little offense. Full court press baby, Big Phil wants to play dirty? He’s fucked with the wrong cat. And it starts this Sunday. Yeah….ok I’ll talk to you later.. Peace.
{Troy Turner hangs up the phone and finishes making his beverage. Troy Turner has spent weeks running and hiding from Big Phil. Has Troy Turner finally gained some self-confidence? Is he ready to fight back? Or is he talking tough, a thousand miles away from his nemesis?}
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 2x NEW World Heavyweight Champion 2010 Awards Best Moment, Best Feud, Best Heel, Best Superstar, Funniest Member 2011 Awards Funniest Member
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