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Long Live the King
Topic Started: Sep 24 2010, 11:33 PM (311 Views)
RAW
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Former Owner/Full Time Dick
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Golden, pure, sparkling, and clean. Those are the words that describe RAW Randy Altzer's living room as our camera opens up to it. It looks as good as RAW feels and he has a giant smile on his face while his Television Title hangs from his shoulder.

"Hiya guys, RAW Randy Altzer, would like to apologize for how quiet he's been as of late but RAW Randy Altzer's been so busy getting pussy that he had no time to shoot a promo until now. That being said RAW Randy Altzer is finally here and he would like to thank himself for being so RAW. Thank you RAW for being RAW. It had to be said. As for not winning that battle royal, it can't be helped. I mean the thing was clearly rigged. RAW Randy Altzer just so happened to accidentally trip and fall out of the ring. No one eliminated me. And if they said they did, they're lieing to you. Who's the champion here? Me. So RAW Randy Altzer must be right. As for my appearance on NEW Friday Nights, I would like to announce Lana Wu as the newest employee for RAW Randy Altzer. Well, partner seems like the better word for it. I'm not sure what she can do for me yet, but she's got a fine ass.

You can't see his bottom half but damn does his top half look good. Robby Stafford walks up and whispers something in RAW's ear. RAW nods and Robby walks off. RAW then smiles and continues.

Also, who cares if I won some battle royal or not. I am RAW Randy Altzer and RAW Randy Altzer will become a World Champion eventually, it's just a matter of time at this point. In that amount of time RAW Randy Altzer will be the best because RAW Randy Altzer is...

RAW stops for a minute as his eyes glaze over and his mouth forms a tiny O.

Oh... that's nice...

RAW Randy Altzer steps back for a second as in front of him Lana Wu stands up slowly. She faces the camera and swallows before wiping her mouth and walking away.

RAW Randy Altzer will talk to y'all later.

The feed cuts.
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