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In the Beginning There Was Void
Topic Started: Apr 30 2010, 05:20 AM (210 Views)
Kendrick Gates
Unregistered

..::Begin Transmission::..

-As the screen slowly breaks into frame, from the static we see the lighting of the room, in reds and blues make the screen give the 3D glasses feeling, the slowly flashing as if this is an epileptics nightmare is slowly dimmed out as a single white light from the lamp covertly overhead and almost in view at the top is seen as we watch as the guru of the internet age, the most popular man on Friendster and so amazing that he tweets in your mom none other than Kendrick Gates takes a seat, his hair wild and untamed as if he had just come back from a 16 hour sexscapade-

Hello there internet, it’s been a long time hasn’t it, I mean here I am, everyone’s favorite sight on the internet, and yet it’s been almost 3 months since my last post here.

-Kendrick says as he looks a bit out of it and shocked at his own disappearance.-

Fuck I feel almost as out of place as Andrew Cage in a lonely singles sex club, and that faggot couldn’t get laid if the world and his dick depended on it.

-Kendrick lets out a sly grin as he takes a sip from the bottle of water next to the computer.-

Well let’s see, New Era is well new and there isn’t a lot going on about it yet. I mean the biggest news I have read and seen was Xavier winning a world title and Brandon Sams killing himself. And out of those two momentous happenings, the death and birth of two things all I really care about is how much is it going to cost for Ilaria Sorvino to drop on her knees and slob on my knob…if ya know what I mean.

-Kendrick laughs at his own joke-

But really, enough about sexy ladies, New Era is well my new home. The most well documented wrestler, CPW, SW, back to CPW and now New Era, my feet never stay planted long. Always moving is my moto, that and landline internet is a fucking joke.

-Kendrick says with a sick little grin before he takes a sip from the bottle of water.-

But you know what a real fucking joke is? That little dickface I have to face in my debut dark match, some queer named Jezta. I mean this guy is a ICP loving n00b who probably sits at home playing with his undead level 6 warlock, trying desperately to be accepted but well he isn’t. this guy is as much a joke as that song “Miracles”.

-he mutters as he runs his hands through his hair, his Charlie the Unicorn t-shirt seen with the phrase “they took my freaking kidney” written on it.-

And they said “Magnets, how the fuck do they work?” well if you listened to the science rather then dismiss it then you would know how they fucking work, but for Jezta he’s going to be asking himself not how dumb things work and the miracles that come from them, but well what the fuck hit me and why d I wear such dumb face paint.

-Kendrick says as he rolls his eyes a bit.-

I mean your dressed as a jester, you think your going to be taken serious? Well it’s kind of frightening when you think about it because after I school you in the fine arts of well kicking ass you’re going to want to buy as much makeup as you can to hide that face of yours as best you can.

-Kendrick repeats as he takes another sip from the bottle of water.-

But don’t be too down on the luck Jez, don’t worry about it because I heard McDonalds is hiring new losers for the drive thru, and just your luck there is a application with your name on it in your inbox.

-He says as he goes to stand up.-

So once more, if you didn’t already get this when you saw me, I am Kendrick Gates and I am greater then you!

-On those words we see the screen of the mac book close, the camera coming to an abrupt end as static rolls in.-

..::End Transmission::..
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