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Shattered Glass Mandrill vs. Avi
Topic Started: Dec 23 2010, 05:49 PM (1,448 Views)
Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
This is something that I've been working on and off with throughout the year as a Christmas present for Avs. Rather than jerk everyone around and make another joke bio, I'm just gonna lay my mini-novel out on the table and have it be done with. The title pretty much says it all; Avi and Snidely Mandrill wage their mortal combat in a universe where everything exists as its opposite. However, this thing's pretty lengthy, even for me; this is just Part 1 of 3. Expect a few cameos here and there, too. So with that said, grab yerself a sammich and kill a few brain cells with me.

------------------

The lights in the Vulgus concert hall dimmed and the audience hushed its tone, as S. Nidely Mandrill stepped onto the pearly-white stage. Mandrill tried not to seem nervous, as he adjusted his spotless tuxedo and took his seat on the piano bench. He knew the sonata inside and out, down to the last key. But Vulgus had always demanded nothing short of perfection out of its musicians. And even he would be no exception. Add to that, he had a special someone in the audience, and he needed to make this performance absolutely flawless.

Breathing heavily, Mandrill’s softly tapped the piano’s keys, filling the concert hall with a soft, heavenly, melody. He smiled, as each note came as natural as the one before it. Deep down, Mandrill wanted to glance over his shoulder to see how the audience, and more importantly, his angel were enjoying his latest work. But Mandrill knew better than to take his eyes off his masterpiece, and kept his eyes fixed on his sheet as his fingers carried him through his sonata. As the final note permeated the air, Mandrill smiled as the entire concert hall was alive with warm applause.

“Thank you. Thank you all so much!” Mandrill thanked, taking a modest bow. “For my next piece, I’m going to request someone from the audience to help me out…” Mandrill informed, smiling slightly. All the women in the audience gasped slightly, eager for a chance to be serenaded by Arcadia’s legendary pianist. “…And I can’t think of anyone I’d want up here with me more than the love of my life, Sari Sumdac…!” Mandrill announced, leaning down towards the dark-skinned, red-haired beauty sitting in the front row. Sari’s exposed eye went wide, as she put a hand to her chest, touched, excited yet terrified to accompany her lover on the stage.

“…Mandrill, no…I-y-you…you should pick someone else…” she weakly protested. Mandrill smiled softly as he gently took her hand and lovingly escorted her to the stage. He knew this might be awkward for her at first; Sari had never cared much for the limelight.

“Sweetie, don’t talk down to yourself. When will you appreciate your own worth? Besides, I promised you something special for your big twenty-third today, didn’t I?” Mandrill assured, stroking her hair. As Mandrill took his seat at the piano, a soft yellow light shone over a dark portion of the stage, revealing Sparkman and Diveman, Mandrill’s best pupils, on the saxophone and violin respectively. After Spark and Dive played a few gentle notes off their instruments, Mandrill soon joined in, delicately tapping the keys on his piano.

“Oh, Mandrill! This is the song where we first met!” Sari realized, her jaw dropping.

“It’s all for you, Sari,” Mandrill whispered back, gazing into Sari’s eyes. Quietly clearing his throat Mandrill’s gentle voice rang throughout the entire auditorium.

"I feel there's something deep inside
of your lonely heart
and it seems so desperately
to call away, tear you and I apart

I fear there's something hidden there
slowly killing you
But to know is half the deed
to rescue you

Will you take me to the place you used to visit in my arms?
Will you take the only place beside me at my right-hand side?
Can you tell me, whisper in my ear, how much you love me so?
'Cause if you can't, I will not breathe you anymore

I feel there's someone kissing you
right behind my eyes
and it seems
I never want to open them

That lonely place
That barren place
Only one resides inside my heart

That lonely place
That horrid place
Only one could tear me this much apart

Please rescue me
Please set me free
because I will not let you go

Please take me inside your arms
and tell me tenderly
"I cannot go," please..."

“Sari, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be the man I am today. I can’t bear the thought of being without you. All I want is to be with you,” Mandrill professed, getting down on his knee, and pulled something out of his pocket. “…Sari, will you marry me?” Mandrill asked hopefully, opening a black velvet box, revealing a lustrous gold ring with a sparkling blue diamond. Overjoyed, Sari could only put her fingers to her lips as Mandrill’s words registered in her mind.

“Oh, Mandrill! Of course I will!” Sari gushed, throwing her arms around him. The whole audience rose from their seats, clapping their hands as Mandrill put his arms around Sari. This was truly the happiest moment in his life. As he savored his moment of being in heaven, he could smell a slight aroma. It smelled faint at first, but grew stronger and stronger. It smelled like a combination of fresh-baked cookies and a meadow just after a gentle storm.

“Say, Sari. Is that a new perfume you’re wearing? It smells heavenly!” Mandrill whispered. Sari simply cocked an eyebrow at Mandrill.

“What? I’m not wearing perfume,” she replied, somewhat bemused.

“Then what’s that I’m smelling?” Mandrill asked bewilderedly, sniffing the air more heavily. He could also hear whispering off in the distance. He couldn't make out all of it, but he thought he heard, "...Mr. Yum...is pink! Mr. Yum...don't STINK!" chanted in his ear. Just over Sari’s shoulder, Mandrill could see a portly woman in orange and blue robes march towards him, shedding overjoyed tears of her own.

“Oh, Mandrill! I kan’t believe you did all this for me…” the woman said, shoving Sari out of the way and wrapping her massive, beefy arms around the astounded pianist. The shocked audience started whispering and murmuring to themselves. Could the beloved S. Nidely Mandrill have been unfaithful to his beloved Sari?

“Mandrill, who is this woman?” Sari demanded, alarmed to see her devoted and beloved Mandrill in another girl’s arms.

“I have no idea!” Mandrill responded, his eyes just as wide as Sari’s. Gasping for air, Mandrill shoved the obtrusive woman off of him. “Ma’am. I don’t know who you are, but this is between me and my true love. And I must ask you to leave,” Mandrill firmly commanded, pointing off the stage. Unfortunately, the burly woman did not do as she was told and glared back at Mandrill, baring her teeth and clenching her fists.

“…How dare you lower yourself to another woman? Why, I should punish just for speaking to me in such a tone,” the woman snarled, grabbing Mandrill by his chin and forcing him to look into her burning eyes. Refusing to be bullied by this unfeasibly intrusive woman, Mandrill shoved her off of him once more.

“Miss, I can only assume that you have mistaken me for someone else. Now if you would be so kind-“

Mistake…? Mistake?!! You think my feelings for you are a mistake? ZCBXNVZMCBXMN!!” the mysterious woman cried hurtfully, bitter tears rolling from her eyes. “How dare you try to deny the love of your soulmate!! How dare you deny the love of your one and only…AVI!!! ZXVBXMCBMNBXC!” she introduced, as black lightning struck the background. Just then, Mandrill noticed that her hands were glowing a soft, dark green hue. They began to glow brighter and brighter, crackling with energy, as she pointed at Sari. Whatever she was doing, it couldn’t be good.

“NOOOOOOOO!!” Mandrill screamed as he flung himself in front of Sari. However, some unseen force flung him aside like a toy. He tried to get up, but something was holding him down, squeezing him, like an invisible hand was wrapping itself around him. The audience’s murmuring quickly rose to terrified screams as Avi fired a green bolt of energy from her hands at the helpless, fleeing Sari. The bolt hit her in the back, dropping her to knees. Her flesh crumbled and peeled away, turning to flaky ash, as her skeleton collapsed in a heap, instantly crumbling to dust. All that was left of the once-beautiful Sari was a pile of ashes and her cream and yellow gown as it fluttered to the ground. The audience was now flooding towards the exits, stepping all over themselves to get away from the deranged, hideous witch. Tears rolled down Mandrill’s cheeks, as he rushed over to Sari’s disintegrated remains. Mournfully, he ran his fingers through her ashes, having lost the one and only thing worth living for.

“WHHHYYYY!! She has done nothing to you!! What reason do you have for this?!” Mandrill sobbed, raising a fist at the witch. Avi’s expression softened, as she put a sympathetic hand on his shoulders.

“…I-I’m sorry…I didn’t realize she meant that much to you…” Avi apologized. “…But you’re just konfused. You deserved better than that tramp. You deserve me…” she whispered, wrapping her arms…and her legs around him. S. Nidely Mandrill tried to speak, but all that came out were soft whimpers. “…I’ll make you feel good…Just like I always did…” she whispered, smiling lustfully as she bared a shoulder and pressed his face into her flabby chest. Mandrill could feel the mignon he had before the show rise to the pit of his stomach.

Just as Mandrill had lost all hope, gunshots rang through auditorium as a large, burly man dropped from the ceiling, landing in a crouching roll. He held two automatic, sawed-off shotguns in each hand, and practically had a small armory strapped to his back.

“…Little young for ya, doncha think?” the man bantered, as the metallic clicking of both shotguns getting pumped filled the air. How he managed to pump both shotguns without a free hand was a mystery to Mandrill, but it was the least of his concerns.

“Kobra Omega!! You meddling pest! How dare you spoil our tender reunion!!” Avi snarled, as she rose above the ground. Mandrill realized things were about to get even uglier and dove off the stage headfirst, hoping the brawl wouldn’t find him.

Swooping down towards the badass cowboy, Avi showered the stage with her green particle-disintegrating bolts. However, Cobra was expecting the attack and nimbly rolled behind Mandrill’s piano. Still taking cover, Cobra took aim at the airborne Avi and fired several rounds at her from both guns. Unfortunately, the witch easily maneuvered around the buckshot as she arched her head back and breathed a black fireball at her nemesis.

With lightning fast reflexes, Cobra sprang from his defensive position as the piano erupted into an inky-black inferno, firing at the spotlights at the same time. One of his shots knocked a light loose, as it dropped on top of Avi’s head, knocking her back to the ground. As she fell, Cobra tossed one of his shotguns into the air, and pulled out a combat knife strapped to his left shoulder. After flourishing it in his hand, Cobra leapt at the falling witch, attempting to jam the blade into her festering heart. Not to be outdone, Avi kicked him in the chest with both legs as she landed. Mandrill watched in horror as the kick sent Cobra reeling and knocked the knife out of his grip.

Catching the knife with her telekinesis, Avi effortlessly flung the blade at Cobra at orbital velocities. Mandrill watched in awe as Cobra’s reflexes saved him once more as he deflected the knife with his remaining shotgun, sending it spinning up into the air. As it fell back down, Cobra leapt up, spinning head over heels (without losing his hat), and performed a roundhouse kick, sending the knife back at Avi. Stunned, Avi could barely react as the knife plunged into her eye.

“Huzzah!” Cobra bantered, smiling coolly at Avi.

“Kyaaaaahhh!! Kurse you, Kobra!! ZCZXCBMNBM!” Avi screamed, as she pulled the blade out of her bloody eye.

“Is it bad that I’m kicking yer scaly ass?” Cobra asked, flashing his cool, collected smile as he shot in her in the knee. Avi still hadn’t recovered from the knife to the eye and fell flat on her flabby stomach, screaming with rage. Reaching upwards, he caught the shotgun he tossed earlier and fired down at Avi’s face as soon as the gun was in his hands. The buckshot peeled a good chunk of flesh off her face, exposing her wicked skull as she was sent flying off the stage.

“…This isn’t over, Kobra! You...You’ve stopped nothing…! This world…this whole existence…will bow before me and my ravishing beauty XCZZCXBN,B,ZXC!” Avi roared, covering her mutilated face. Suddenly, a blackish-purple halo that smelled of homemade apple pie descended over the wounded witch, surrounding her. Countless tortured, agonized spirits swirled around her, moaning as they rose up the column of light. The witch faded into the dark light, and eventually, there was no trace of her aside from the heavenly aroma as the halo receded.

“Shit. Lost her again. And it looks like she’s up to something big. Mighty big…” Cobra noted to himself, reloading a shotgun. “…Well, no rest for the wicked…” he noted, as he marched out of the empty auditorium.

“Wait!” Mandrill called, as he ran out from under the stage. “…I don’t know who you are, but I owe you my life. I’m going with you. There’s nothing left for me here, now,” he proclaimed, as he caught up with Cobra. However, Cobra simply sneered at the pianist and waved him off.

“Buddy, no disrespect, but ya wouldn last a secon ‘gainst that soul-suckin’ broad. I’ll give ya a ring if I need some lounge singer to serenade her to death,” Cobra dismissed, turning back to leave the auditorium. However, Mandrill refused to let Cobra blow him off, as he raced ahead of Cobra, cutting him off.

“…Look, I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what that witch wants with me. All I know is, I lost the only thing dear to me. I won’t rest until I make that hag pay for taking my Sari. Now you either let me come with you, or I’ll just look for this witch myself!” Mandrill demanded, pointing a finger into Cobra’s chest.

The cowboy shoved Mandrill's hand aside, staring into his eyes confrontationally as he raised a shotgun. Who did this clown think he was? He didn't have to do shit for this nimrod simply because his sweetheart got cooked.

Elbowing Mandrill aside, Cobra soldiered towards the exit...and stopped as he reached the door. That pianist may've had the guts of a kitten, but Cobra knew where he was coming from. Cobra had every girl in Texas, big and small banging down his door. And then along came Avi, and before you could say ‘Old Gregg’, she disintegrated the every last one, just so that she and ‘Kobra’ could be together. Cobra could see it in that pianist’s eyes, the same burning hankering for payback that he had. Who was he to say no that? Besides, if he went on his own, he was just going to get himself waxed. The least he could do was keep an eye on him, maybe even teach him a thing or two before he got turned into a pile of ashes.

Sighing, he walked back and tossed Mandrill one of his shotguns. The monkey fumbled it in his hands as he struggled not to drop it. Sighing, Cobra shook his head motioned Mandrill to follow.

“...Buddy, I’ll give you this much, it takes a lot of balls to dance with this broad. And I got three!” he complimented, weakly smiling at Mandrill and batting him on the back. “Now come on. My gut tells me time’s kind of a factor here,” he urged, motioning for Mandrill to follow. Mandrill nodded and proceeded to follow his partner out of the concert hall. As he reached the exit, he glanced back at what was left of his treasured Sari.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something sparkling amongst Sari’s ashes. Rushing back over where she rested, Mandrill softly combed the ashes and felt his fingers brush against something solid. It was Sari’s favorite pendant, still intact. Actually, it looked vaguely more like a key on a chain than a pendant. She claimed that her adoptive father found it with her when he picked her up alongside the road as a baby. Its glistening silver coat shined in Mandrill’s eyes as he dangled the key-like pendant in front of him.

Since it was all he had left of his Sari, Mandrill slipped it around his neck, and held onto it tightly, fighting back bitter tears once more.

“I’ll never forget you…Sari…” he whispered, as he sunk his fingers in the charred ashes. Clenching his fist, Mandrill rose to his feet, throwing the coattails of his tuxedo back as he turned. Somehow, he could sense there wasn’t much time left…

--------------

Expect Part 2 tommorow. Special thanks to Chaos Wolf for the awesome shoops.

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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
Beautiful...

just...beautiful.

:'(
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Avi
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Puppies. <3
Ooookay now you're REALLY making me wish I had enough free time on my hands to create my own mythology centered around my own screwed up vision of you and everyone else involved in the Snidely Mandrill mythos. XD



Nega-Avi is a bitch. =(
Here's hoping she gets her comeuppance while making out with Circusman in front of her army of starroids and accepted transformer bios >=(


lol good job! Gosh I need to pay you back somehow LOL ^_^;;
ALPHA WON, EVERYONE GO HOME.
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Hunter_Chameleon
Member Avatar
The Communist Merc
... Whoah. Awesomesauce.

I both fear and can't wait to see what SG Hunter will be like (assuming he appears). =)
Various death threats :

-I hAfE SoO mAnY iDeAs, I cAn'T cHooSe !
-Let's share !
-For Megatron !
-Mind if I play accordion?
-You're already dead.
-Seconded.
-Step aside, commoners !
-I-I'm new at this d-death threat stuff.
-... Huh?
-Let us write the stuff of legends !
-Bow to Alpha !

And from higer-ups :

-Crush the Alphas !
-With any chance, it won't earn you a place in my Tome of Grudges, lad.
-Pray I don't let the bloodthirsty ones handle the issue ! Gyahahahahaaa !
-Decepticons : Operation : rock.
-I, Cruellock, shall rip you apart, wot.
-It was written, and I am merely Fate's pen.

-And when they're all done, I'll make you all better !
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Selene Azviel
To become the ultimate Metool
*sniffles* Saaari. T__T

Oh my gawd this was so awesome it drove me to tears of epic sadness.
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Avi
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Puppies. <3
Selene Azviel,Dec 24 2010
05:38 PM
*sniffles* Saaari. T__T

Note that despite Sari's heartrending death Spark still seems to have took pleasure in writing her gruesome demise.


THAT'S OUR MONKEY~
ALPHA WON, EVERYONE GO HOME.
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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
Avi,Dec 24 2010
04:10 PM
Selene Azviel,Dec 24 2010
05:38 PM
*sniffles* Saaari. T__T

Note that despite Sari's heartrending death Spark still seems to have took pleasure in writing her gruesome demise.


THAT'S OUR MONKEY~

Yeah, I noticed that too, it's like even in an alternate universe where everything is all backwards, he still loves killing Sari...sort of...kind of.
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
Quote:
 
Note that despite Sari's heartrending death Spark still seems to have took pleasure in writing her gruesome demise.


Quote:
 
Yeah, I noticed that too, it's like even in an alternate universe where everything is all backwards, he still loves killing Sari...sort of...kind of.


Hey, gimme credit. At least I didn't have Devastator ambush Sari to death like I did the last time. And I didn't play this in the background. Or this. Or this. I think I've grown a little since then. Though probably not.

With that said, here's Part II. The plot thickens…or deteriorates. Your call.

------------------------
S. Nidely Mandrill lost track of how many days he followed Cobra through the unending wilderness. They had passed through blistering deserts, thick impassable forests, and steep, treacherous frozen mountains. Mandrill felt like he was going to collapse, but Cobra simply waded through it with the fortitude of an Olympic sprinter. He didn’t know much more he could take as he and Cobra waded through a festering swamp, filled with dead, gnarly trees. Suddenly, Cobra’s eyes lit up as he pushed aside a pile of brush in the middle of a soggy thicket.

“Well, lookee here, Sparky. Welcome to Chez Avi!” Cobra announced giddily, as he gestured through the brush. In the moonlit night, Mandrill could see a decrepit, gothic/stereotypic-looking stone mansion surrounded by a thick veil of clouds. Foreboding looking stone gargoyles loomed over every corner of the building, their claws reaching towards the ground, looking as though they’d attack at any second. The air hung heavy with the smell of fresh-picked peaches and cherries, plucked right from the tree. Cobra apparently thought nothing of it as he casually walked through towards the mansion like he was about to board the subway.

“Now if I were a soul-sucking witch, where would I be…” he mused, as he circled around the outer walls of the mansion. His eyes lit up as he spotted a window just above the clock tower with purple light glowing through it. The heavenly smell was almost overpowering now. Pulling out a lasso out of thin air, Cobra effortlessly swung it around before tying it around the top of the spire that had to be at least ten stories high. Pleased with his ungodly aim, Cobra give the rope a hearty tug, making sure it was secure before turning to Mandrill.

“Alright, here’s the plan: I’ll drop in on Avi the way Romeo and Juliet intended. You go below decks and-“

“No, wherever you’re going, I’m going too!” Mandrill protested, raising a fist. Cobra simply scowled and brought Mandrill towards his face.

“Look, James Hetfield. If all it took to stop this krazy broad was some idiot running around waving a gun, then I would’ve stopped her well before she could deep fry your sweetie pie. Even I haven’t gotten the hang of dancing with her yet. And she has greenhorns like you for breakfast,” Cobra stated, pointing a finger into Mandrill’s face. “Now, as I was saying, I know she’s cooking something up in the basement. And whatever the hell it is, you can bet clean money it ain’t gonna be pretty. Someone’s gotta nix her little science fair project, and if you’re so fired up to stick it to this bitch, then I reckon you’ll oblige. Besides, you’re gonna need me to create a diversion,” Cobra explained, still keeping Mandrill in his grip. Unable to argue with Cobra’s logic, Mandrill silently backed off.

“I’ll tell her you said ‘hi’,” Cobra added, just before he started scaling the wall. As Cobra climbed upwards, ready to settle the score, Mandrill sighed as he smashed through a basement window with the butt of his shotgun. Crawling through broken window, Mandrill landed on the stone floor on his feet, clutching the gun, ready for anything that might be waiting for him…

-----------------
Cobra Omega casually whistled to himself as he steadily climbed to the heavens on his rope. He was already three quarters of the way up. After all these years, he would finally have his payback for what this bitch did to him.

“There ain’t no place for you to run this time, skankbag,” Cobra grunted to himself, as he reached the window just below the top of the tower. Climbing through the window, Cobra climbed up a set of stairs and peeked through the barred window on the door. As he predicted, he spotted Avi in the middle of the room. She was accompanied by an alien dressed in a Nazi uniform and tightly-buttoned trousers. She also held a fistful of chains made glowing, blackish-purple energy in her iron fist. At the end of each chain, were a bat, a t-rex, a stalk of corn, a twenty-seven-foot-tall Austrian, a bowl of oatmeal, and a robot that bore a striking resemblance to Redips.

“Well, I'll be a monkey's sidekick…It’s the mods ta Neo Wars…” Cobra whispered to himself. “…Why the hell would that hag doing sink her meathooks in Arcadia’s hottest RP…?” he asked, as he watched through the door. He could see Avi furiously stomp towards the captive bowl of oatmeal first.

“So Briansfox, I chrust you have something marvelous planned for Neo Wars, korrekt? After all, everyone knows that bowls of oatmeals have all antsirs!” Avi interrogated, tapping her wand in her hand as she glared at the cowering bowl.

“…I-I-I sure do, my beautiful co-admin…! ” Briansfox assured, forcing himself to smile. “…Shade and I were th-thinking…Th-that Weil could have these sl-sl-sleeper agents he could use to infiltrate soc-society’s infrastructure-“

“That’s terrible! Have him use mikromasters instead!” Avi scolded, tugging Briansfox's chokechain.

“B-b-but…You already made us pair Waspinator with Blizzard Buffalo! And you also made us use Optimus Prime instead of Sisi as Crimson Twilight's tourbus! H-how many transformers do we need...Uh...You're majesty...?" the bat whimpered, shielding himself with his wing.

"As many as I say we need, Shademan!" Avi growled, tugging the bat's chokechain. "And where are the Konstruktikons? They should've showed up at the Blak Hole thread weeks ago!!" Avi fumed, pounding her fist on her table. The gathered mods slowly turned their heads the purple t-rex. Scowling silently at the t-rex, Avi stormed towards him and yanked a stack of notes in front of him. After thumbing through a few pages, Avi flung them over her shoulders and pinned the t-rex against the wall. "ZXMNBZMXNV! REKS!! WHAT'S THIS 'RETURN TO SIEBERTRON' YOU'RE WORKING ON?!" she demanded. Blubbering, Rex flung himself at Avi's feet.

"Ohpleasedon'thurtme! It wasn't my fault! Shademan made me do it! I tried to stop him..." Rex pleaded as he started babbling uncontrollably. As the spineless dinosaur prostrated himself before Avi as she stole a pointed glance at Shademan.

"Avi, listen to me! Return to Cybertron is where transformers belong! If we start throwing in too many transformers in a Megaman RP, things could spiral out of control! We could find ourselves up to our ears in Resident Evil characters, Gundam characters, or who knows what else!" Shademan urged. "Don't you see? We-EEYAAGGHH!!" Shademan screamed as the Nazi alien bent his arm back with piercing snap.

"...You're out of line, Shademan..." Avi warned, bracing her Mr. Yum staff under his chin. "...Let me remind you, that Enigma would still be running this forum if not for me. YOU asked me to get rid of that pathetik, starry-eyed little urchin so you kould take this RP in direktions only you kould've envisioned. I held up my end of the bargain, now it's time for you to honor yours. Do you want to wind up like Lifeless Monk, Elek and Glyde?" Avi threatened. Shademan gulped deeply. Lifeless Monk and Elec were two moderators who made the mistake of rejecting the first of Avi's transformer bios and refused to back down. Their disintegrated ashes were scattered around the room as a warning to those who might oppose Avi's executive decisions. But Glyde got it even worse than they did. For actively plotting against Avi, she had his soul crushed and a hefty portion of his brain removed.

As if on cue, Glyde entered the room, crawling on all fours. Thick black stitches ran across his forehead. A ball gag the size of a billiard ball was strapped to his mouth, nearly choking him. And his scratched, torn back was covered with hot wax. The pathetic shade crawled up next to Avi, nuzzling her boots, hoping to get its mistress's attention. Sighing, Shademan hung his head and nodded weakly.

"Speak up! I kan't hear you! Did I make myself klear...?!" Avi demanded, forcing Shademan to look into her burning eyes.

"...Krystal..." Shademan sobbed. Smiling cruelly, the Nazi alien threw Shademan to the ground, kicking him a couple times as he landed.

"That's enough of that!" Avi dismissed, turning away from Shademan. "Now Kaos, I hope that photoshop of yours is going better than this!" Avi inquired, as she peeked over the stalk of corn. However, when she saw what he was working on, she felt bile rise up from the pit of her stomach. "What is this? It looks nothing like Deadpool!"

"I'm sorry, but I just can't hang of this! And why am I corn?!" Chaos Wolf whined.

"Korn!" Avi corrected, pulling Chaos's chokechain. "This is unaxeseptable, even for you! And if you kan't figure out something as intuitive as photoshop, then its time I find someone who kan. Indy, take him down to the basement to begin his 'konditioning'" Avi ordered.

"Vit pleazure!" the Nazi alien answered, grinning fiendishly as he grabbed Chaos's chain. Adjusting his trousers, Indy goosestepped towards the door, goosestepping as he dragged the stalk of corn to his doom. But just as he reached the door, he came face-to-barrel with Cobra's shotgun. He didn't have time to register his shock before the cowboy plunged both barrels into his mouth and pulled the trigger. The blast of adamantium pellets sprayed meaty chunks of his skull in every direction, coating the walls in a paste of bone, brains and blood.

"Your number was up, monster!" Cobra bantered, pumping his shotgun. Pushing the headless alien aside, Cobra fired another round at Avi, aiming at the hand holding the mod's chains. The adamantium buckshot tore her hand to ribbons as the chains fell to the ground.

"...We're free...We're free!!" the Redips bot cheered as he and the other mods scrambled out of the room. "I am forever indebted to you! If I could, I would bear your children!" the Redips clone thanked, as the other mods dragged him off. However, Cobra barely noticed as Avi glowered at Cobra. Blood, bone and sinew swirled around her bloody stub where her claw used to be as she conjured up a new hand with her wand.

"Kurse you, Kobra. This time, you've gone too far. You have meddled in my plans for the last time! ZXCVBZXMNC!!" she snarled, electricity coursing through her fists.

"...And a 'good evening' to you, too," Cobra coolly quiped, as he narrowly ducked under a particle bolt. "Don't worry, dollface. I'll be gentle," he added, as he cocked his shotgun, ready to do battle.

C'mon, monkey boy. Don't let me do this for nothing.

-----------------
Meanwhile, S. Nidely Mandrill quietly crept through the dank, soggy, torchlit catacombs beneath Avi's mansion, alone as he held the shotgun in both hands. He didn't know what to expect deep beneath the bowels of Avi's lair, so it was hard for him to come up with a plan. Until he could find the prisoner Cobra had mentioned, the best he could do was stay alive and not get caught. Mandrill just hoped he had what it took to make it down there and that his courage would see him through to the end.

Thankfully, so far Mandrill's journey down had been quiet and uneventful, as he came to a heavy set of dusty wood and iron doors. Breathing deeply, Mandrill gingerly cracked the doors open and peeked through. From what little he saw, the adjacent hallway seemed to be just as empty as the one he was currently in.

He was about to pass through the doors as he saw a pair of shadows looming towards him. Gasping quietly, Mandrill recoiled back and frantically looked around for some place he could find. As the sound of heavy metallic footsteps drew closer, Mandrill saw a stack of wine barrels in the corner of the room. For lack of better options, Mandrill flung himself behind them as the doors flew open.

Peeking around the barrels, Mandrill could see a pair of fifty-foot tall robots enter the room. One was a broad-shouldered, vaguely bird-like monstrosity standing on spindly, reverse-kneed legs and adorned in maroon, black and white armor. The other had a slender, feminine-looking robot clad in purple, teal and grey armor. Both of them appeared to be built from fighter jets, as they had cockpits in their chests and wings on their backs.

"Slipstream, how much longer until the compression? I love hanging out in this fleshling's basement!" the maroon and white bot growled, clenching a claw-like fist.

"Cool it, Ramjet. She'll call us when she's ready. We don't want her to rush this. Otherwise, there may not be a universe, much less a Cybertron to go back to," Slipstream assured, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Ramjet? I thought he was just a character from that over-imaginative Neo Wars RP. What's he doing here? Mandrill pondered to himself, as he peeked in between the barrels.

"Do you think this 'Compression' will really let us take back Cybertron and the rest of the known universe? I think it's brilliant!" Ramjet asked. Slipstream shrugged.

"Me too. But it's not like any of us have any better ideas," Slipstream noted. "...But if she's taking us for a ride, she doesn't know who's she's messing with." Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks and put a finger to her ear. Mandrill crept a little lower beneath the barrels, hoping she didn't spot him. But after a few seconds, she turned to Ramjet and batted him on the shoulder.

"What'd I tell you? That was Soundwave. Our host has got a little pest problem up top. But she wants us to start up the first phase of the compression without her. We better not hold up the show," she urged as she marched out of the room. Ramjet nodded and turned to follow her. But just as he reached the stairs leading up, he stopped and turned around. Mandrill froze as he saw Ramjet staring contemplatively at the barrels for several seconds. Did he realize that he was being watched? However, after glancing up the stairs, Ramjet simply shrugged and caught up with his sister. Once the duo was gone, Mandrill quietly slinked out from behind the barrels.

"...Compression? What on earth could they be talking about...?" Mandrill asked, stroking his chin. "...Whatever it is, I don't have much time."

Steeling himself, Mandrill flew through doors, running as fast as his legs could carry him. However, just as he passed through the doors, he ran head-on into a twenty-five-foot tall black and white robot built from a police car. Its four red eyes glowed sinisterly as it cracked its knuckles.

"...You look a little lost, little fella..." he sneered, as he swung his fists at Mandrill. Through sheer luck, Mandrill jumped out of the way of the monster's fists as they slammed into the stone floor. The force of their impact tossed Mandrill several feet, but he simply tumbled forward and picked himself up, running as fast he could. "Don't let him get away!" the police bot roared, as it sprinted after Mandrill. As it closed in behind Mandrill, its body began to tuck into itself as it turned into a police car before Mandrill's disbelieving eyes. Its sirens were already blaring as tapped Mandrill from behind, toying with him.

As Mandrill was nudged forward, he could see another robot racing towards him. This one was built from a tan, militarized truck of some kind and rushed at Mandrill on wheel-like feet like a cross between a hockey skater and football linebacker. Its claw-tipped tail lashed at Mandrill, peeling away chunks of his shoulder.

Hoping for a miracle, Mandrill fired a shotgun blast at one of the tan robot's wheelfeet. The explosive buckshot tore through the robot's rubber wheels, deflating them instantly. The force of the blowout caused the charging barbarian to helplessly tumble forward out of control, flailing its arms in an effort to catch itself, but to no avail. Mandrill quickly ran to one side of the robot as it crashed into the police car. The sickening screeching of tires and crunching of metal echoed through the hall as their frames were mangled into useless hunk of metal.

As both bots screamed and yelled in pain and frustration, Mandrill escaped down a winding set of stairs before someone else caught up to him. But just as he reached the foot of the stairs, a bolt of lightning struck him in the chest, sending him flying into a wall.

"Going somewhere, somewhere...?" a giant purple and black stag beetle cackled in an a screechy voice as it dropped from the ceiling. As Mandrill struggled to recover his senses, he could hear the hungry revving of a chainsaw motor as a spinning, four-pronged blade lunged towards him. Mandrill could only scream and put up his hands as he felt the blades knick his throat. But as he did, a blue bolt of lightning erupted from his hands, striking his assailant in the face. As the light died down, Mandrill could see a red and white robot built from a rescue helicopter laying in front of him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could also see Sari's pendant glowing slightly. Did it somehow just protect him?

However, this wasn't the time for to be asking such questions. Pushing his nagging concerns to one side, Mandrill rushed past the downed helicopter robot before he could get up.

"Don't just stand there, Shrapnel, Shrapnel! Get him, get him!" the helicopter robot mocked, weakly coughing as he scowled at the stag beetle.

"Don't worry, Blades! I got him!" a tank bot roared, as its turret locked onto Mandrill. The first shell screamed past Mandrill's ear, slamming into the wall behind him. Doubling back, Mandrill took cover behind the helicopter bot who still hadn't recovered from the lightning bolt. The downed bot soaked most of the barrage, but some of the shrapnel embedded itself in Mandrill's skin, along with a few drops of napalm from the incendiary rounds.

"Hey, what's the big idea, Stonegrinder!" Blades demanded, as he tried to defend himself from the barrage.

"Slaggit, Autobot! Get out of my way!" Stonegrinder snapped back as he continued his assault. Seeing his opportunity, Mandrill fired at the torches all around the room, one by one. Eventually, the room was plunged into darkness, save a few napalm-fuelled infernos Stonegrinder left lying around. Infuriated, Stonegrinder began firing in all directions.

"Where'd ya go, ya punk?" he roared, as his turret spun wildly. In a panic, his comrades ran towards the winding staircase upstairs, hoping to avoid Stonegrinder's blind rage.

"Cut it out, you spaz!"

"What do you think you're doing, you're doing...?"

"You're going to bring the place down on top of us, you putz!"

Leaving the three bumbling bots to destroy each other, Mandrill slipped through the cover of darkness towards the next flight of stairs. Pain shot through his body as the shrapnel dug deeper into his body and the napalm burns set in. Unable to cope with the pain any longer, Mandrill sunk to his knees halfway down the steps, writhing in agony. As he clutched his wounds, Mandrill noticed Sari's pendant shining brightly. With trembling fingers, he wrapped his fingers around the memento and felt its warmth through his hand.

Suddenly, he felt it slide into his skin, its light glowing brighter as it did. He felt the pain coursing through his body instantly subside, almost as if someone had hit a switch. Looking down, he could see the shrapnel lying harmlessly on the ground before him. His burns had swiftly cleared up. Before long, the pendant had returned to its original state.

"How is this possible...?" he asked himself as he slipped the pendant back around his neck. What was this pendant exactly? What was it capable of? Was Sari aware of what it could do? All these questions and more swam through Mandrill's head as he resumed his trek down the stairs.

Once Mandrill reached the bottom of the stairs, he was stunned silent by what he saw. The towering stone hall was lined with countless jail cells. Some of the cells were empty, save a few bones scattered along the ground. But a few of them had still-rotting corpses hanging from chain harnesses and manacles or had saddles sewn to their backs. But there were some were still had living occupants, thin, bony, unfed wretches clad in leather halter tops who were huddled in the corner, cowering before Mandrill. Others bent over in front of Mandrill and crawled towards the bars, almost as if they were inviting him to take advantage of them. One or two of them were tearing into a rat with their teeth, snarling and clawing at Mandrill through the bars like the animals they had become.

Revolted, Mandrill kept his distance from Avi's collection of S&M slaves as he proceeded down the dungeon corridor. He knew he was getting close to the prisoner Cobra had spoke of, but which one was it? And what did Avi intend for that poor soul?

Eventually, he came to three more iron and wood doors at the end of the hallway. These were no doubt where Avi kept her more troublesome prisoners. Mandrill had a hunch whoever he was supposed to rescue was in one of these cells. He started with the leftmost cell and peeked through the barred window on the door. The cell was completely empty and covered with dust; it had not been used in ages. The next cell was labelled 'Glyde'. The door was ajar, but there was nothing useful beyond a few blood-stained whips and cat-o-nine-tails on the walls. Desperate, Mandrill kicked open the last door, hoping to find the prisoner waiting for him...only to find an empty room.

"Impossible! There has to be something back here! I refuse to believe those metal behemoths were guarding absolutely nothing!" Mandrill lamented, punching the wall. As he braced his head against the wall in despair, Mandrill caught a glimpse of a couple of the prisoners snickering to themselves. One of them was pointing a bony hand at him while spinning a wide toothy grin. "What are you all laughing at!" Mandrill hissed, pointing his shotgun at the wretches. The wretches' simply smiled even wider, pointing even more emphatically in his direction. Glancing uncertainly at the leather slaves, Mandrill slowly eased into the room, following the direction they were pointing in. However, he stopped himself once he was halfway across the room. Realizing his mistake, Mandrill quickly ran back towards the door, but it was too late. The heavy door slammed into his face as the lock clicked into place.

"NOOO!!!" Mandrill screamed as he vainly pounded his fists against the door. The prisoners' were now in an uproar, as their chuckles had turned into full-blown laughter. Another robot, greenish-white monster built from an ambulance stepped in front of the window, smiling ghoulishly at Mandrill as he spun a key ring around his finger. Snarling, Mandrill stuck his shotgun through the door and opened fire. Unfortunately, the shots simply bounced off the robot's metal face. His smile faded as he reached for Mandrill's shotgun, snatching it from his hands.

"Seriously, you better simmer down. I've lobotomized at least a couple fifty of Avi's little pets. You're the first one to give me an excuse. But I'll give you a free ride since she's got a soft spot for you," he warned, pointing at Mandrill. Sighing, Mandrill backed away from the window, hanging his head. "That's a sport!" he chuckled, before he turned to walk away. As he exited the dungeon, he stopped to glower at one of the wretches who was pointing and laughing at Mandrill. "That's enough of that. Avi doesn't need you getting him riled up," the ambulance bot warned, holding up a scapel in front of the inmate. The inmate stopped his hysterical laughter and backed away from his captor, still smiling like he was in on some joke.

Meanwhile, Mandrill buried his face in his hands, weeping softly. He came all this way, braved certain danger just so that he could get himself locked up like some amateur. Ever since this whole thing started, it felt like some unseen, malicious entity had gone through and deliberately rewrote his happy ending. It would've been better to let Cobra wage his one-man-war alone. But as Mandrill wallowed in his self-pity, he saw something warm against his chest. Opening his eyes, he noticed Sari's key-shaped pendant glowing again. Then it hit him.

Of course! Perhaps Sari's magic, key-like pendant could be used as...well, a key. His optimism renewed, Mandrill rushed to the door and plunged the key in the heavy wood. Even though there was no lock on his side, the key turned by itself, and the door swung open. Pumping his fist, Mandrill poked his head through the door to look for the ambulance/prison guard. For one, he had Mandrill's weapon. And for two, he might tell Mandrill where that elusive prisoner was being kept if he was persuasive enough.

As luck would have it, Mandrill saw the guard in the giggling prisoner's cell. He was busy grappling with the lunatic, who was holding the confiscated shotgun away from him, laughing uproariously. Smiling confidantly, Mandrill rushed after the guard as he tried to recover Mandrill's shotgun.

"Give that back, Scorpio! Swindle said he'd give me a discount if I got him one of Earth's historical weapons!" he hissed, as he tried to wrench the shotgun away from the manic prisoner. As the guard was occupied, Mandrill snuck behind him, grabbing a bone off the floor and holding it like a club. He knew it couldn't do much against a metal robot on its own. But if he could use it to smash one of the robot's optics, maybe he could get him to talk. And his back was to Mandrill...

Only just when Mandrill was in arm's reach of him, the guard grabbed a scalpel and plunged into Mandrill's chest, not even turning around. Mandrill watched in horror as the wound began to darken and fester. It turned a rust-red color as chunks of his hide began to flake and crumble away.

"Cosmic rust," the guard explained, still subduing the prisoner. "C'mon, you're not that sneaky," he mocked, as he finally overpowered the rowdy prisoner, snapping his neck like a chicken's. "...But I would like to know how it is you got out," he remarked as he turned to face Mandrill. He cocked a metallic eyebrow as he noticed Sari's pendant dangling around his neck. "...Hmmm...So I guess this bauble isn't just for pretty. Never seen anything like-SHEYEAAGHHH!!" the guard screamed, as Mandrill plunged the scalpel into his square kneecaps. He watched in horror as his wound began rust and crumble away as Mandrill's did. However, his horror soon turned to laughter. "You're still going to die before I do," he remarked, as he reached for Sari's pendant again.

Eyes wide with rage, Mandrill stabbed the guard in the hand. As the cruel thug recoiled his hand, Mandrill jumped up and plunged the scalpel into his crested forehead. Thick black sludge gurgled out of the robot's mouth as he collapsed on top of the dead prisoner, but not before officially honoring Hunter's request that more SG transformers be thrown into the story.

Mandrill sighed as he reclaimed his shotgun. Even though he escaped Avi's clutches, he was still no closer to finding the prisoner than he was before. And now he was striken with a disease that was eating his body inch by inch. Grabbing the key, Mandrill jammed it into his stomach repeatedly, hoping it’d rejuvenate him like it did last time. But nothing happened. Chunks of his chest continued to flake and peel off. It was only a question of when before he was reduced to a pile of rusted scrap.

As he limped out of the cell, Mandrill noticed a pair of prisoners clad in filthy prison garbs who were laughing at him beforehand. They were still pointing at the cell Mandrill came out of. The one on the left, who had the name 'Saturn' written on the front, smiled a wide toothy grin while nodding encouragingly towards the cell Mandrill was trapped in. The one on the right, one that had 'Selene' written on the front simply whispered at Mandrill in a sing-song voice.

"I was walking down the street the other day. Who did I meet? I met a friend of mine and he did say, ‘Man I can smell your feet a mile away!’ Smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away, smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away!” Selene whispered. Cocking an eyebrow at the derranged prisoners, Mandrill returned to his cell, this time jamming it open with the bone from earlier. He looked high and low, but he could find was the stone brick wall that made up his cell. He turned back to Saturn and Selene, but they kept pointing towards the back of the cell. As he rose up, he spotted a brick that was paler from the others. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Saturn and Selene nodding at him.

Upon closer examination, he could make out a retinal scanner carefully hidden in the masonry. It no doubt responded to the eye signature of Avi or her assorted transformer minions. Mandrill suspected that if he could saw off the head of the dead prison guard, it would open the door for him. But Mandrill had a simpler, less time-consuming solution.

Jamming his key into the scanner, Mandrill gave it a hardy twist...and groaned in pain, as he felt his insides sting slightly. The cosmic rust was getting worse. But sure enough, the walls split apart and slid open, revealing another stone corridor before him.

Smiling proudly, Mandrill slinked down the hallway. But not before turning and waving to Saturn and Selene on his way out. They both simply put a finger to their lips and shooed him away. After travelling forty feet down the corridor, Mandrill came to a heavier wood and iron door, this one adorned with even more locks than the previous ones.

As he approached the door, Mandrill peeked through the barred window, hoping this room would offer more than the last three. Through the black twisted bars, Mandrill could see a dark-haired man, adorned in ratty, tattered clothing shackled to a rack, pulling his body in opposite directions. His face was hanging down, so Mandrill couldn’t get a good look at who he was. There was also another shadow looming over the prisoner, though Mandrill couldn’t quite make it out.

“…Please…I’ve already done everything I could for you. If you have any mercy in you, let me die…” he pleaded in a soft, raspy voice. The figure simply laughed as he stabbed him in the gut with a thick red sword.

“HA! You die when Lover Avi say you die! Besides, this too much fun! Almost as much fun as pretty Avi loving!” the figure laughed, as he twisted the sword in the man’s gut. Mandrill clutched his shotgun tightly. This had to be the one Cobra told him about. Kicking the door open, Mandrill pointed his shotgun at the man’s captor, cocking it for emphasis.

“Let him go, you fiend!” Mandrill demanded, firing a warning shot into the ceiling.

“Hmmmmm…?” the figure asked, as he turned around. It was another one of Avi’s transformers, this one covered in grey and yellow armor. He held a double-barreled rocket launcher in one hand, and a red broadsword wreathed in flames in the other. His gaze pierced Mandrill’s through his crimson red visor. And even though his mouth was covered underneath a mouthplate, Mandrill could almost see his mouth curled up in a scornful sneer.

“Me Grimlock am stronger than puny monkey! You go squishy-squish!” the jailer roared, as he swung his sword down towards Mandrill. Thinking quickly, Mandrill tumbled to one side as the sword cleaved into the ground. Though, he clutched his stomach as though someone had punched him in the gut. Capitalizing on Mandrill’s momentary lapse, Grimlock punched him in the face, sending him flying out of the room.

As Mandrill landed on his gut, he saw Grimlock pointing his rocket launcher straight at him. It belched a concussion rocket that screamed towards Mandrill as he lay on the ground. Mandrill quickly rolled to one side as the rocket raced past his startled face. However, Grimlock didn’t give Mandrill a chance to recover as he fired another rocket at him and another. Grabbing his shotgun, Mandrill fired away at the incoming rocket. The first two harmlessly detonated several yards away from Mandrill. Grimlock was forced to stagger back to avoid getting caught in the blast, covering his face.

Seeing an opportunity, Mandrill climbed to his feet and fired away at the dazed Grimlock. However, his heart sank as he heard the shots ricochet off his armor. Amused, Grimlock laughed at the might of Mandrill’s feeble gun.

“Me Grimlock stronger than puny monkey’s puny gun!” Grimlock chuckled as he marched through Mandrill’s shotgun fire. Once he closed in, he slashed at Mandrill with his fiery sword. The swing was wide and awkward, and Mandrill was able to duck underneath the blazing blade. As the blade passed overhead, Mandrill reached into his belt and pulled off the scalpel he pulled off the guard and jammed it into Grimlock’s wrist. Grimlock screamed in pain, dropping his sword as the cosmic rust pathogens spread into his systems.

But Mandrill wasn’t in the mood for waiting for Grimlock to rust to death. He dashed over to Grimlock’s injured left arm and grabbed a hold, slowly climbing his way up.

“Let go, puny monkey!” Grimlock screamed, as he tried to swat him with his right arm. However, Mandrill quickly dangled down and swung off Grimlock’s arm, grabbing onto the underside of the right one as it came in. Snarling, Grmlock raised his right arm and tried to swat Mandrill off it with his left. But Mandrill swung himself around just as the hand came down and jumped off, grabbing a hold of Grimlock’s shoulder.

Holding his shotgun in one hand, Mandrill fired away at the monster’s red visor. He couldn’t help but smile as the shots cracked his visor, splitting open with each shot.

“GYAH! DUMB CHEATING MONKEY!!” Grimlock roared, as he staggered about. He flailed his arms wildly in blind rage, hoping to squash Mandrill like a bug. One wild swing swept Mandrill off his shoulder, sending him plummeting towards the ground. He landed hard on his back, knocking the wind out of him. As Mandrill scraped himself off the ground, his eyes went wide with horror as he saw chunks of himself lying on the ground. Looking closely, he could see right through his lower flank as the rust kept eating away at him. He didn’t have much time.

“ME GRIMLOCK KING! ME STOMP MONKEY, GRIMLOCK WILL SAVE COMPRESSED UNIVERSE!” Grimlock roared, as he regained his balance. Mandrill took the time to reload his gun while he still could. However, his blood chilled when he heard Grimlock laugh wickedly.

Grimlock stood on his hands as they retracted into his pillar-like arms as he effectively did a headstand. His lower legs swung up around his backside, sliding on top of his torso. A head with jagged teeth, a long snout and burning red eyes slid out on top of his knees. And a tail grew out and around his head, engulfing it. In a matter of seconds, he turned into a monstrous t-rex right before Mandrill’s horrified eyes.

“ME GRIMLOCK NO BOZO, ME KING!” Grimlock roared triumphantly, proudly stomping his feet. Hoping his strategy would work a second time, Mandrill fired at Grimlock’s eyes. But the t-rex casually bobbed and weaved past the shots, swinging his tail at the same time. The tail sweep knocked Mandrill off his feet, knocking the shotgun from his grasp. The gun skidded across the floor out the door, well out of Mandrill’s reach.

Mandrill tried to scurry towards it, but as he got up, he heard a soft crunch within the base of his spine. Suddenly, the top of his body slid off of his waist as his legs crumbled to the ground. Mandrill suppressed a scream as he saw a pile of rust-colored powder form around what used to be his lower waist. Looking back to his torso, he could see his lower ribs crumbling away.

Mandrill dragged his torso away from the t-rex, in a last ditch effort to save his own life. But it was a wasted effort. Grimlock was soon upon him, snapping at Mandrill with his jaws. What was left of him was quickly scooped up into his gaping maw. The dinobot’s powerful jaws closed in around Mandrill as he desperately tried to pry his mouth open. But Mandrill’s dwindling strength was hardly any match for Grimlock’s.

Suddenly, Mandrill was flung out of Grimlock’s mouth as the t-rex stumbled forward and toppled on one side. As his torso slid across the ground, Mandrill could see one of Grimlock’s ankles consumed by a patch of festering rust that was slowly creeping up his leg as he flailed about, roaring and snarling in frustration. It had to have been the arm Mandrill had stabbed earlier with the dirty scalpel. He also felt the pendant get warm again against his breast.

Out of ideas, Mandrill yanked the key off his neck, trying to ignore a silver dollar-sized hole that was forming around the base of his shoulder. Grimlock was now snapping at him with his jagged teeth, drawing closer with each bite. Spinning himself around with one hand, Mandrill thrust the key into Grimlock mouth. The key pierced the roof of Grimlock’s mouth, as a shower of light erupted from his jaws.

“O-Ouch…” Grimlock whimpered, backing away from Mandrill. As he staggered away from Mandrill, the light pouring from his mouth grew brighter, and the color drained from his body. Eventually, his body had turned a dull lifeless grey before falling to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

However, Mandrill saw little reason to celebrate, as more of his torso crumbled away. He crawled over towards Grimlock’s body as fast as his arms could carry him. A trail of powdery rusted metal spread from under his stomach as he caught up to Grimlock’s carcass. Reaching in, he pulled out the key….just as his other arm dropped off his body.

“…You there…Throw the key to me…” the man on the rack urged.

“…But you won’t be able to free yourself…” Mandrill noted, lying helplessly on the ground.

“Just do it!!” the man insisted, his eyes wide with desperation. The world was starting to get fuzzy now. With all the strength he had left, Mandrill tossed the key towards the prisoner. He couldn’t tell whether or not the prisoner caught it before the world slipped away into darkness…

------------------------

“…wkp…”

“…wakp…”

“…wakup…”

“…Wake up…”

Mandrill’s eyelids felt heavy at first. The light was blinding and his world was spinning. He put up his hands to help himself adjust to the world around him.

My hands… Mandrill thought, as he realized both his arms were attached to his body. As his eyes came into focus, he could see his body back together in one piece. His legs weren’t lying on the ground several feet away, and there were no patches of rust devouring his body. Almost giddily, he rose to his feet, staggering slightly as though he forgot to use them. But he regained his balance soon enough.

“…Feeling better, I hope. I used what little power I have left to cure of you that cosmic rust. Any longer, you would’ve crumbled away before Grimlock could swallow you whole,” a voice assured, Mandrill felt a hand on his shoulder. Whirling around, Mandrill saw that the man was no longer chained up in the rack and was now standing beside him.

“…Thank you for rescuing me. For a while, I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show…” the man congratulated. Mandrill frowned and looked at him dubiously, narrowing his eyes.

“You speak as though you were expecting me…” Mandrill replied guardedly. “…Who are you…?” In response, the man threw his arms back as he lifted several feet off the ground. A warm, golden, heavenly light engulfed him as he hovered above Mandrill.

“…I am the father of the known universe. I am the creator of all that is, and all that ever will be. I…Am Paul McCartney…” the man introduced. Mandrill shielded his eyes as the heavenly glow swallowed the room. After several seconds, the light faded away and the deity drifted back towards the ground. Once he got over the initial awe of being in the presence of a living god, Mandrill stepped forward, pointing at Paul McCartney.

“…YOU’RE the heavenly creator? How on Earth did Avi imprison a deity in her basement?!” Mandrill demanded. Paul McCartney sighed and hung his head.

“…Two years ago, Avi snuk into one of my performances, disguised as one of my stagehands. At first, I didn’t even know she was there. But by the time I knew she was coming for me, she had already snuck backstage and drained me of my powers with that infernal staff of hers…” Paul McCartney explained. “…Well, most of it. I still had some residual power that even she couldn’t siphon away…As well as some more hidden elsewhere…” the god explained, turning away from Mandrill. “…But she weakened me enough to imprison me with those Shackles of Prometheus you found me in. She’s kept me down here ever since then,” he added, pointing to the empty shackles dangling from the rack.

“So Avi took away all of your powers? What on Earth could she possibly need it for? Is she trying to create her own race?” Mandrill asked, stepping in front of Paul McCartney.

“Something like that, yes…” McCartney confirmed, as he handed Mandrill a weathered scroll. Mandrill delicately unrolled it, but the writing was so tiny, he could barely make it out. He felt like could go mad just trying to decipher it.

“Name: Grimlock. Race: Stardroid. Gender: Male,” Paul McCartney recited, saving Mandrill the aggravation of trying to read Aviscript.

“…It’s a character sheet from that Neo Wars forum RP,” Mandrill realized, as he rolled the scroll up. Suddenly, he looked up at Paul McCartney with horrible realization. “Wait a minute…Are you telling me that Avi created that monster from an RP character sheet…?”

“Correct. I’m sure you’ve met a few more like Grimlock on the way down. But that’s all just a small number of transformers she’s unleashed. There has to be hundreds…thousands of them from various storylines and toylines that she has turned loose onto our world,” Paul McCartney explained somberly. “A year before Avi kidnapped me, apparently she seduced Shademan and the rest of the lifeless hacks running Neo Wars and convinced them to turn against Enigma, the RP’s original founder. With Enigma out of the way, she bent the mods to her will and used Neo Wars as an outlet for all her assorted transformer characters…” Paul McCartney revealed.

“…Which she then brought into our world with your powers…” Mandrill finished, nodding grimly. “Dear lord, Arcadia doesn’t’ stand a chance against these monsters! Why hasn’t Avi launched an invasion with them yet?”

“I only wish that was all Avi had intended…” Paul McCartney answered, shaking his head forlornly. “…But Avi’s intentions are darker than anyone realizes. You see, a transformer’s spark…it’s lifeforce is the most powerful energy source in the known universe. A single matrix of collected transformer sparks is enough to destroy gods themselves. And Avi has enough to fill twenty matrixes at least!” Paul McCartney warned.

“…And she intends to use it to kill you?” Mandrill asked in horror.

“….No,” Paul McCartney corrected. “If that’s all she wanted, she’d have done it already,”

“Wait, let me guess…The Compression…?” Mandrill asked. Paul McCartney slowly nodded

“…Very good….” McCartney acknowledged, impressed Mandrill knew of it. “You see, you are not alone in this multiverse. You are not even unique. Ever since the dawn of time, there have been countless Avis and Snidely Mandrills doing battle in their own corners of the universe,” Paul McCartney explained. Suddenly, the dungeon was filled with the images of countless stars and planets that swirled and spun around him. At Mandrill’s feet were dozens of tiny green-haired warrior princesses doing battle with monkeys in top hats and canes. The green-haired girls simply bent over and blasted a noxious green gas from their behinds, right into the monkeys’ faces. The monkeys collapsed on the ground, vomiting up their intestines as the smell overcame them.

“Normally, only I would know where to find them all. But in my weakened state, even I was powerless to resist her battery of Decepticon psychologists…” he continued, lifting up a lock of hair in the back of his head. Mandrill winced uncomfortably as he saw black stitches running along the base of his skull. “Now using a contraption she has designed, and powered by the transformer sparks she’ll soon harvest, she’ll go into the minds of every last Avi in the known multiverse,” Paul McCartney warned. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning pierced the back of one of the green-haired girl’s skull as electricity erupted from her lifeless eyes. The electricity quickly spread to the other mini-Avis along the floor until they were all possessed by the dark power.

“My God, she would have control over every last universe!” Mandrill realized. Paul McCartney sighed and hung his head even lower.

“More than just that. It would have the side effect of compressing every last universe, along with their pasts, presents, and futures into a singular point in space and time. It could easily unravel the space-time continuum as we know it,” Paul McCartney explained. One by one, the projected stars planets around Mandrill were sucked down into the floor beneath him, almost as if they were getting sucked down a drain. It started off slow, at first, but picked up speed as more of them were pulled in. In seconds, Paul McCartney and Mandrill found themselves alone, floating in infinite white space, as a pulsating, purplish-black orb pulsated at their feet.

“…She’s insane…She’s out of her mind!” Mandrill gasped, as the dungeon returned to its original state. “But one thing, I can’t believe the transformers would go along with such a plan…” Mandrill pointed out

“Of course they wouldn’t. They think the compression will allow them to occupy all of the Cybertrons across the multiverse. They have no idea that Avi plans to harvest them for their lifeforce,” Paul McCartney explained. “But make no mistake, your being here is no coincidence. Like all the other Snidely Mandrills, it has always been your destiny to stand against my daughters. Like Ying and Yang, you were always destined to stand against each other. That is how the balance of the multiverse has been maintained…Somehow…Why not…” Paul McCartney preached, his eyes shifting dubiously. “…But in a universe where everything exists as its opposite, I suppose it was only natural that this Avi would lose her way. She already has all the transformers she requires. She has already begun harvesting their sparks. You are the only one who has the power to stand against her,” the deity announced, pointing at Mandrill.

“Me??” Mandrill asked, looking back at the creator like a schoolboy who’s been asked a question he couldn’t answer. “…No…No I-I can’t…” he stammered, turning away from Paul McCartney. “…I’m no hero of destiny. I’m just a lowly lounge singer who lost his beloved…This mustache isn’t even real!” Mandrill protested, ripping off his twirling mustache. Paul McCartney simply smiled as Mandrill found himself hovering off the ground.

“…Then it is time to become something more…” he proclaimed, as Mandrill was bathed in the same heavenly glow. Hearing the sound of metal buckling, he turned and saw chunks of Grimlock’s body breaking apart and swirling around him in bits and pieces like a tornado. He watched in awe, as the pieces broke apart and recombined with each other, almost as if they had a mind of their own. Piece by piece, they latched onto Mandrill’s body, almost as if they were reshaping Mandrill’s body. As the pieces connected, Mandrill could feel power coursing through his body. Power he never knew he had.

As he floated to the ground, Mandrill could see his adorned from head to toe in shining, platinum armor. A red, flowing vibrant cape flowed from his back. And he held Grimlock’s old sword and rocket launcher in each hand.

“Rise up, Sir Nidely Mandrill!” Paul McCartney announced, as Mandrill rose to his feet. As he admired himself in his new armor, Paul McCartney opened rifts in and time and space, and the pieces of the transformers Mandrill vanquished floated through. Much as he did before, bits and pieces of the carcasses flew off each other and recombined with each other, forming whole new shapes Mandrill didn’t recognize. To Mandrill’s amazement, he watched as the pieces of junk were transformed into a magnificent white stallion. Sparks and lightning ran up and down its hooves, and its mane glowed and burned like blue fire.

“Now go, valiant Sir Nidely Mandrill! The fated hour draws near!” Paul McCartney urged, pointing towards the door. Mandrill had already mounted his steed and was riding off to his fateful battle.

“Cheeryah!! CHEERYAH!! It’s time to end this once and for all, Avi!” Mandrill cheered, as he drew his sword. Lightning struck its tip, charging with energy as he pointed it straight ahead. Suddenly, a vortex opened before him, beckoning to him as it swirled before him. Without hesitation, Mandrill rode forth into the dimensional doorway, ready to put an end to Avi’s madness once and for all.
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Hunter_Chameleon
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The Communist Merc
So SG "Me" is Schwarzenegger. I don't know whether to be flattered or flustered. =)

But hey, at least I'm not Redips. =D

Now, POST MOAR.
Various death threats :

-I hAfE SoO mAnY iDeAs, I cAn'T cHooSe !
-Let's share !
-For Megatron !
-Mind if I play accordion?
-You're already dead.
-Seconded.
-Step aside, commoners !
-I-I'm new at this d-death threat stuff.
-... Huh?
-Let us write the stuff of legends !
-Bow to Alpha !

And from higer-ups :

-Crush the Alphas !
-With any chance, it won't earn you a place in my Tome of Grudges, lad.
-Pray I don't let the bloodthirsty ones handle the issue ! Gyahahahahaaa !
-Decepticons : Operation : rock.
-I, Cruellock, shall rip you apart, wot.
-It was written, and I am merely Fate's pen.

-And when they're all done, I'll make you all better !
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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
I probably should have seen SG me as Redips coming, but I didn't. So I laughed, I got a kick out of the other SG counterparts too.

The fight scenes were freakin' amazing. I also really liked the whole idea of those sheets of paper with the bios on them actually making the characters exist in the real world.

Also did you get the "Kompression" plan from FFVIII? It's giving me that Ultimecia vibe, or whatever her name was.

Can't wait for the next part.
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Avi
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Puppies. <3
this is insane <3
ALPHA WON, EVERYONE GO HOME.
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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
Has it really taken you this long to notice, Avs? :P

And for the record, I was cracking up looking at the SG counterparts for the 'Neo Wars' mods, too. Those were all a fairly last-minute addition; originally, I wasn't even going to bother giving the mods SG alter egos like I did with Mandriill, Avi and Cobra. But I'm glad I did since they were a high point for an exposition-heavy installment. Though looking back, I almost wonder if I should've gone with Groundskeeper Willy for SG Hunter. Eh, Arnie's still prolly a better choice.

And now for the third and final act, where I really give sanity the finger.

-----------------
Shademan and the other mods hurried down the winding stairway as that gun-toting cowboy did battle with Avi.

“Don’t you think we should help that cowboy? I mean, he’s risking our lives for us,” Metabad suggested. Shademan simply slapped him in the back of the head.

“You know just as well as I do that he’s a dead man. I don’t know what he’s doing here or, what chance he thinks he has, but I’m not staying around to find out. I just hope he doesn’t die at least until we can make it out of here,” Shademan replied, as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Rex tried to open the door, but it was locked.

“Hunter, if you’d please?” Rex asked, stepping aside. The thirty-six tall Austrian laughed as he flexed his muscles.

“Hunter no smash puny door for puny dinosaur…” he roared, as he punched the stonewall. The masonry exploded beneath his might, leaving a gaping hole big enough for them all to escape. “…Hunter smash puny wall!! HRAAAARRGGHH!!” the fifty foot Austrian cheered as he charged through. However, he was no more than thirty feet from the hole before he screamed in soul-shearing agony.

“What’s going on out th-” Chaos Wolf asked, just before something yanked him through the hole. Briansfox peeked out the hole and saw…something he couldn’t describe holding Hunter by his throat. He was just in time to see it suck Hunter’s soul through his mouth before casting his lifeless body aside.

“My God, what is that thing??” Shademan gasped, his jaw agape. Briansfox couldn’t answer; he could only whimper softly as it the monstrosity scooped him up in one of its scaly claws. Metabad found himself scooped up in its other claws as Rex and Shademan tried to run past it. Noticing Briansfox’s body crumble to ashes in the abomination’s hands, Shademan casually tripped Rex as he kept running.

“No hard feelings, right?” he laughed as he started flying off.

“NO!! Shade!! We’re partn-EEEYAAAGGGHHHH!!” Rex screamed as his very essence was torn from his body. Shademan sighed in relief as he flapped over the mansion wall.

“At last…After all these years…FREEDOM!” Shademan breathed, laughing to himself. Sure, he ending up losing the untold billions he (somehow) made off of Neo Wars. And he lost the mods who helped shape the fantasy world he made popular. But he could get it all back again. He still had all the plot points Briansfox, Hunter and all the rest came up with. He could carry on Neo Wars, himself. Only this time, he wouldn’t have to share the rewards with anyone else. Or the power.

Shademan kept laughing as he flew off into the calm, starlit sky. That was when he felt scaly claws close around him. He screamed as his wings were crumpled and mangled into a ball. Then he found himself staring face-to-‘face’ with the creature that killed the rest of his fellow mods. He barely had time to scream as he felt himself pulled from his very body.

-----------------
Ramjet, Slipstream, and several other Decepticons impatiently patrolled the courtyard. They had long since found out that a pair of intruders had breached the inner sanctum. While Avi battled the one in her lair, they swept the grounds for his lackey. They knew the mods were trying to escape, but they were a fairly low priority.

“Any sign of him yet?” a green and purple scorpion bot inquired over their coms.

“He’s coming up on your six, Scorponok” Ramjet replied, as he and his sister soared above the courtyard in jet mode.

“Heh-heh-heh-heh. You said ‘cum’” a white sports car robot chuckled.

“Runamuck, now’s not the time for your puerile remarks!” Scoponok scolded, glaring at his immature subordinate.

“C’mon guys, cool it. If this guy’s anywhere, Soundwave’s spies will catch him. They always do. Trust me, he won’t get by us,” a yellow and purple humvee bot assured. Scorponok seemed to accept this, as he nodded tersely. Up above them, a flock of condor-like robots circled the mansion, watchful for anything so much as a mouse that was out of place.

Suddenly, the humvee bot’s chest began to bulge and clang, almost like something was trying to come out.

“Swindle, what’s wrong?” Scorponok demanded. Swindle didn’t even have a chance to answer as a horse carrying a monkey in armor exploded out of his chest, leaping straight up towards the sky. Scorponok had just enough time to register his shock as the horse-riding monkey knight drew a red, flaming sword identical to Grimlock’s and sliced Slipstream’s nosecone clean off. The disabled jet tailspinned towards the ground, crashing into a dirty humvee rushing into the battle. As Mandrill landed, the transformers could see he and his steed were covered from head-to-toe with all kinds of weapons. Weapons that Swindle had been carrying in the storage dimension Mandrill warped out of.

“It’s him! He warped out of Swinde’s weapon storage dimen-SHYEEAAGGGHH!!” Scorponok screamed, as a bolt from a linear launcher pierced his head. The white sports car swerved in front of Mandrill, trying to cut him off. But it was soon peppered by machine gun fire from a plasma pulse rifle. As the smoldering sports car slammed into the courtyard wall, Mandrill turned his attention to the condors circling the courtyard, and fired a salvo of seeker missiles from his steed’s hips. The spies vainly tried to swerve out of the path of the homing missiles, only to be blown to pieces. As the condors’ smoldering remains hit the ground, Mandrill spotted a yawning hole in the central tower, big enough for a seventy-foot Austrian.

“Cheeryah! CHEERYAH!! So much for your pawns, Avi! Now it’s your turn!” he cheered, as his steed galloped towards the breach. He was no more than fifteen feet from the hole when Slipstream’s mangle corpse slammed into the ground in front of him, followed by Runamuck’s. Startled, the horse came to a sudden stop, kicking its front legs into the air. Mandrill tried to steady his horse, but felt the ground shake beneath him. Grabbing an x-ray cannon, he turned and saw a horrific steel monstrosity several stories tall lumber towards him. It seemed to be an ungodly mishmash of various construction vehicles and trucks, each vehicle forming a separate, misshapen limb. Its green eyes glowed with a malicious gaze as its mouth opened wider than its barrel-shaped head, and let out a monstrous roar.

Undaunted, Mandrill fired his cannon at the devastating beast’s right claw. The monster roared in pain as the cannon burned a hole through its arm, but lashed out with its other claw. Thinking on his feet, Mandrill fired the cannon at the incoming claw as he tried to ride out of the way. Unfortunately, the monster was a little too quick for Mandrill and his steed, as it began to close its fingers around the valiant knight. However, Mandrill could see a hole that his cannon had blasted. It was just wide enough for him to jump through.

Swallowing deeply, Mandrill leapt off the horse towards the blast hole. His fingers grabbed the jagged rim of the hole as his body dangled in the monster’s palm. Riding his adrenaline, Mandrill scurried into the blast hole as the monster’s hand started crushing his steed.

Throwing the bulky x-ray cannon aside, Mandrill pulled some acidfog grenades off his belt and removed the pins as he frantically climbed deeper into the monster’s innerworkings. His ears almost bled as the grenades went off and the monster roared in furious agony. Released Mandrill’s steed, the devastator clutched its hand as it melted from the inside out.

Clinging to the monster’s skeletal structure, Mandrill continued to crawl upwards beneath its skin, careful to avoid the sliding pistons and turning wheels that controlled it. He could feel the arm pitch and flail about as the monster tried to shake him out of its body. Occasionally, he heard something bang against the outer layer, no doubt its fist, trying vainly to squash him from the inside.

After scurrying through stories of tight, narrow, ‘passageways’, Mandrill came to a cavernous opening just above him. In the middle of the opening, he could see a massive computer chip embedded in the ‘wall’. It had to be the monster’s CPU, neural processor, or whatever transformers called their brains. Reaching into his backpack, Mandrill pulled out a pulsar bomb and attached it to the chip. After setting the timer, Mandrill pulled out an astro-blaster and bombarded the wall in front of him. The rapid-fire stream of grenades tore a hole through the monster’s cranial chamber, and Mandrill clambered out onto its shoulder.

But just as he came out, he was strafed by heavy machine gunfire, causing him to lose his footing. As he started tumbling off the towering monster, Mandrill frantically shot his arm, grabbing ahold of a steel cable that ran between the monster’s joints and hung on for dear life.

“Oops! Sorry about that! Hang on, I’ll get you down!” a gravelly voice yelled.

Ramjet. Mandrill realized, as the maroon and white jet came into view. He had forgotten about the other fighter jet while he was dealing with the monster. Hanging on with one hand, Mandrill tried to return to fire with the astro-blaster. The barrage of grenades drove off Ramjet momentarily, enough time for Mandrill to climb back up. Evading the monster’s clumsy claws as it tried to brush him off, Mandrill climbed on top of its cement-truck head, sprinting towards Ramjet with all the speed he could muster. Once he reached the edge, Mandrill leapt off, screaming to the heavens.

As Mandrill sailed towards Ramjet, the pulsar bombs in the monster’s head went off. A massive explosion tore its skull to pieces, as a fireball raced towards the sky. The force of the explosion carried Mandrill even further, giving him the momentum he needed to reach Ramjet. Drawing his arm back, Mandrill’s knuckles began to crackle with electricity as he swung his fist. His electrically-charged haymaker collided with the side of Ramjet’s cockpit, sending him teetering out of control as lightning erupted from his body.

“THAT DIDN’T HURRRTTT!!! YESSSSS!!!” Ramjet screamed, as he tried to regain control. But it was useless. Ramjet crashed into the pinnacle of Avi’s tower, shattering the stone masonry wall. Mandrill however, saw little reason to celebrate, as he was now descending helplessly towards the Earth. He frantically looked through his arsenal, hoping to find anything that could slow his descent, but to no avail.

Just as Mandrill was about to accept his fate, he felt his stomach slam into something soft as he felt something carry him away. Opening his eyes, he could see he was on his horse’s back. Mandrill smiled warmly, glad to see his faithful steed had escaped the monster’s clutches.

As he climbed into its saddle, Mandrill watched it glide towards a watchtower just opposite of the one Ramjet crashed into. Its hooves connected with the tower wall, as it began to ride straight up the parapet. After galloping straight up six stories, the horse leapt off towards the central clock tower once more. In a flash, it proceeded to carry Mandrill up to the top of Avi’s lair, neighing fiercely as it charged up the wall.

As it reached the hole Ramjet crashed into, Mandrill dismounted his horse, somersaulting in the air as he leapt into the tower pinnacle. He deftly landed on his feet just in front of a glowing, blood red barrier , his hands on his sword and his missile launcher. The aroma of fresh-picked roses and homegrown peaches hung heavy in the room. Instinctively, Mandrill walked towards the barrier and jammed Sari’s pendant into it. Sure enough, the pendant began to glow with a white light as the barrier began to flicker away. Pocketing the pendant, Mandrill ascended the winding staircase. The stairwell was pitch-black, the only light coming from thousands of screaming tortured souls that floated up around him. It was as if he had entered another dimension. Ignoring the shades, Mandrill continued his climb through abyssal stairs until he reached the top and kicked open the black steel door.

The room that awaited him seemed unfeasibly huge, almost endless. It almost seemed impossible, considering the tower itself was no more than sixty feet in diameter. Dozens of transformers hung from the ceilings and walls, their chests stripped away, revealing their glowing cores. The floor was scrawled with countless archaic runes as it glowed with a dead, lime green luminescence. There were also a web chains near the front of the room, each leading to six empty shackles and tossed piles of scribbled notes. At the center of the room stood Avi, hovering over a glowing bottomless pit with empty matrixes adorning the walls. She was casually fanning herself with her wand as she regarded Mandrill. She also now sported a blue and a red eye, the red one no doubt replacing the one Cobra put out.

“…Well, you certainly know how to make a dramatik entranss…” Avi remarked, smiling wryly. “…And you’ve changed your look sinss we last met. I always liked a knight in shining armor…” she complimented, as she rubbed her hands on Mandrill’s armor. Mandrill however, simply hissed and batted her hand away.

“It ends here,” Mandrill declared, scowling at Avi.

“Kobra thought the same thing…” Avi casually remarked, snorting softly. “Oh, and he says ‘hi’,” she added, dropping a charred leather cowboy hat in front of Mandrill. His heart sank as it fluttered lifelessly to the ground. “He’s enjoying his new life as one of my servants. Not even he kould argue onss he was properly lobotomized. But I really don’t want to have to do that with you,”

“…I’ll make sure you won’t…” Mandrill replied, his voice dripping with fury as he steadied his sword and pointed it at Avi. Sighing regretfully, Avi hovered several feet up in the air, her wand crackling with energy.

“I really don’t want to have to hurt you…But you’re leaving me no choiss,” Avi sighed, as she flung six particle bolts at Mandrill. Prepared for the oncoming bolts, Mandrill tumbled forward underneath Avi and fired his concussion missile launcher straight up. Unfortunately, Avi casually batted the missile away with her wand, without even blinking. Her wand started to glow, as the sound of tortured, hellish moans filled the air. A fiery red glyph appeared under her as four fiery columns erupted out of the floor and started spinning around her. The columns veered towards Mandrill hard and fast. He could feel the sweltering heat across his face as the swirling flames charred his armor, almost overpowering him. Gritting his teeth, Mandrill fired another rocket at the ceiling above Avi. The rocket exploded with a roar overhead, as stone chunks began to fall from the ceiling like rain.

Avi didn’t even look up, as she began teleporting around the room out of the path of the falling debris. As the stone rain started to die off, Mandrill could hear the piercing moans of countless damned souls again, as the debris began to hover off the ground. With a flick of her wrist, Avi sent the stone chunks hurtling at Mandrill at lightning speeds. In a panic, he frantically tried to dodge and parry this new rock storm. However, the barrage came at him too fast, as a chunk of marble knocked the rocket launcher out of his hand while a chunk of limestone slammed into his knees, knocking him flat on his back.

Pushing her advantage, Avi swooped down and grabbed Mandrill underneath his jaw. He struggled to escape, but the witch tightened her cast-iron grip.

“Shhh-shhh-shhhh,” She whispered, putting a finger to her lips. “…It’ll be over soon…” she added, sighing in his face. Mandrill’s nose perked up as he picked up the aroma of dew-covered meadows and then the smell of the sweet ocean breeze. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so relaxed…so at peace…It was the same tender feeling he got from Sar…Sarah? …Shirley? Her name was on the tip of Mandrill’s tongue, but he couldn’t quite remember it. It didn’t matter. It was too much trouble to even try to remember her name. Now his eyes were growing heavy, and the world was getting fuzzy. Avi’s embrace was every bit as warm and soothing as Sari’s…

“…Sari!” Mandrill remembered. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her pendant glowing warmly around his neck. He didn’t come this far to light this sorceress soothe his mind with shallow pleasures! His resolve returning, Mandrill tried to lift his sword, but his arm was too heavy. Her miasma must’ve affected his body as much as it affected his mind.

Undaunted, Mandrill pointed his sword straight towards the ground, opening a portal mere inches underneath him. Letting the weight of his sword drag his arm down, Mandrill’s blade went through the dimensional doorway, emerging just an inch or two above Avi. He tried not to enjoy Avi’s blood curdling scream as the sword pierced through her rippling back. Recovering his strength, Mandrill grabbed Avi by her hand and threw her into the portal. The surprised witch emerged just above Mandrill, tumbling head over heels as she fell towards him. Having fully regained his vigor, Mandrill pointed his sword straight up as he fell to the ground. The blade impaled Avi’s through back once more, spilling black fluids all over Mandrill. Both adversaries collapsed on the stone, rune-carved floor, lying in a pool of Avi’s blood.

However, Mandrill found himself sailing across the room as something pink slam into his face, knocking him into a pair of transformer carcasses hanging from chains.

“…You hurt me…” Avi whispered balefully, as she staggered to her feet, holding her Mr. Yum scepter. Mandrill’s sword still stuck through her rotund body, dripping fetid black blood on the floor. Mandrill ducked behind another transformer corpse, as another particle bolt screamed past his ears. As he took cover, his spirits lifted as he saw his rocket launcher, no more than eight feet away lying on the ground.

Picking himself up, Mandrill sprinted forward as heard the hungry roar and felt the sweltering heat of another raging inferno rushing behind him. Desperately trying to outrun the blaze, Mandrill sprinted towards his rocket launcher. Vicious particle bolts nicked his heels as he drew closer, but Mandrill did not falter. Instead, he kept ducking behind the hanging transformer corpses as shields as he closed in. He was in arms reach of his rocket launcher when Avi teleported in front him, her arms wide open as if she was expecting him. Mandrill tried to stop himself, but couldn’t as he found himself impaled on his own blade sticking through Avi’s body.

Mandrill screamed in agony as his sword pierced his lower torso, shredding his insides. Even though his body was wracked in pain, Mandrill reached for Sari’s pendant, hoping it’d save him here like it did with Grimlock. But Avi quickly grabbed it before Mandrill could and casually flung it across the room.

“…We’ll have none off that now!” she remarked pointedly. Then suddenly, Avi grabbed ahold of his right arm and viciously snapped it back with sickening ‘crunch’. “That’s for what you were about to do,” she added.

“…About to do…?” Mandrill gasped, once he stopped screaming. In response, Avi tapped at her red eye.

“Did you think this was just for pretty? This eye lets me see five minutes into the fyoutcher. How do you think I’ve been staying ahead of you this whole time?” she explained, smiling. “…But don’t feel bad. You were just trying to change something you had no kontrol over. You still did better than Kobra did. I’m impressed,” she explained, smiling crookedly. “…But I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Let me take you someplace where nothing kan hurt you again…”

Reaching behind her, Avi grabbed the hilt of the sword and used it open another portal behind Mandrill. Looking behind him, Mandrill could see the portal was leading to a rack, its dangling manacles and shackles almost beckoning him. He could feel her leg starting to push against him as she tried to kick him off of her. But before he could, Mandrill reached out and grabbed the arm of a dead purple transformer just to his right.

“…No…I don’t think you saw this coming…!” he coughed, smiling smugly. Electricity surged from his arm into the deceased transformer, jumpstarting its circuitry. Its lone yellow optic began to glow weakly, but brighter as Mandrill kept his grip on it. Shuddering slightly, it raised the cannon mounted on its right arm, blasting Avi with a focused laser beam. Avi’s eyes went wide as the blast knocked her back several feet.

“…Kyaaaaaaahhh!! How kould you…?” Avi whimpered, covering her red eye, as bloody tears rolled down her cheeks. Unmoved by Avi’s sorrow, Mandrill kicked his rocket launcher up into his hands and unloaded it at the helpless witch. Once it clicked on empty, Mandrill grabbed Avi and furiously pistol-whipped her in the face, knocking two or three teeth from her jaw. Coughing up blood, Avi opened her mouth, breathing heavily into Mandrill’s face. He started tasting the smell of his mother’s homemade apple pie. But before she could entice him with her miasma again, Mandrill covered his nose and spun Avi around, kicking her off his sword. She laid on her back in front of him, covered in burns, shrapnel and deep lacerations as she wept softly.

“…Please…I-did it all for-“ Mandrill coldly drove his sword through her heart. As his sword came out the other end, Mandrill heaved his sword up, nearly slicing her in half from the shoulders up. The once-sweet smelling fiend now lay in a spreading pool of black sludge in the middle room. Sighing, Mandrill wearily let the sword fall from his hand as he dropped on his knees, clutching his wound.

“…It’s over…It’s done…” he breathed, as he wearily slumped against the wall, exhausted from his ordeal. He had done it. He had stopped a sorceress’s mad ambition to destroy reality as he knew it, and avenged the death of his true love. All he had to do was find where Avi had taken Cobra and break her hold over him. But before he could get up, he found himself unable to move as his body was seized with agonizing pain.

“…It sertainly is…” a voice agreed. Through the seething agony, Mandrill felt his heart fall to the floor. Somehow, he could smell the unmistakable aroma of fresh cinnamon and sweet vanilla. He could also feel something sit down on top of him as he felt a hand creep down his body. Looking up, Mandrill could see a smug, slender, woman in extraordinarily modest robes, staring down triumphantly at him. She looked almost nothing like the bloated woman who had tormented Mandrill. But the blue and orange robes, green hair, and heavenly aroma were dead giveaways as to who she was.

“…So, what do you think?” Avi asked, waving her hips in Mandrill’s face. “Shurely, you must find me more appealing like this. I konsumed many souls to achieve this ravishing beauty…” she added, planting Mandrill’s face into her barely-concealed chest . He wanted to put out his eyes just looking at her.

“…This…! This cannot be…! I-I defeated you!” Mandrill gasped, pushing the hideous witch away. Avi simply knelt down next to Mandrill, forcing him to look into her malicious yellow eyes.

“…You really thought that…” Avi gloated, forcing Mandrill to look over at the corpse of the witch he was fighting. Instead of seeing Avi, Mandrill’s disbelieving eyes saw the bloody corpse of a bloated clown with disembodied hands and stars for eyes. “…Was me…?”

“Please. Sircusman has always akted as my loyal bodyguard and double just in kase troublemakers like Kobra kame along. Plus, he helped buy me much needed time to harvest all the transformer sparks I needed,” Avi laughed, hovering over to ‘Avi’s’ body. She gently closed the clown’s lifeless eyes while gently rubbing his cheeks. “…Still…He will be missed…He was the only one who chruly understood the bitter loneliness I felt. My one and only companion…until you kame along…” she whispered, mostly to herself. Throwing her arms around Circusman, she locked lips with the deceased clown, wagging her tongue in his lifeless mouth one last time. “…I love you too…” she whispered, beads of saliva dripping from her mouth.

“…But I still have you, which is all that matters! With the only person who kould’ve stopped me is out of the way, now I kan take my rightful place as the senter of the universe! You freeing that pathetik, powerless kreator deity stops nothing! Soon, all of existence will belong to me!” Avi boasted, running a scaly finger under Mandrill’s chin. Enraged, Mandrill struggled through the pain and forced his hand to grab his sword and thrust it towards Avi’s throat. However, Avi simply glared at Mandrill as his arm stopped dead in its tracks.

“ZCXVMZBXCVMBZXM! Did you forget what your preshious armor is made out of?! Did you forget who kontrols all of the transformers in this world?!” Avi reminded, casually flinging Mandrill into a wall. “…Lukily for you, my love for you is strong enough to overlook this transgression. So long as you don’t chry to stop me again…” Avi warned, glowering at Mandrill. Standing in the center of the room, Avi threw her arms up as they glowed with purple mystical energy. “The last matrisk has been filled! Not even the MkKartney’s ‘fated’ hero could not stop me! Now, I KLAIM THIS PLANE OF EGGSISTENSS!!” Avi proclaimed.

Powerless to stop her, Mandrill watched in horror as one by one, the matrixes that lined the pit blinked to life, bombarding Avi with their light. As Avi absorbed their power, a dark aura began surround her, growing stronger by the second. As the light from the matrixes began to fade, the world around Mandrill began to shift in ways he couldn’t exactly comprehend. His movements began to slow, leaving motion blurs. He started seeing several locations superimposed on top of the room he was in. One moment, he was in a bakery tended to a green-haired girl. Then in the middle of a mall lit by burning corpses. Then in a workshop on Ryship Island owned by a blonde, one-eyed hag. Then in the middle of a concert thrown by the Four Generals playing Rick Astley. A wavy haze washed over the whole area, as various colors of the spectrum faded from one to another.

As he watched reality as he knew it slip away, Mandrill fell to his knees, weeping softly. Not only could he not stop Avi from raping the space-time continuum of the whole multiverse, he couldn’t even avenge his dear Sari. Defeated, he reached out and grabbed Sari’s old pendant, the only memory he had or would ever had before his world was destroyed.

Suddenly, Snidely Mandrill could a voice in his head. It started soft, but started to grow louder over the tormented screams of sacrificed transformers.

“I was walking down the street the other day. Who did I meet? I met a friend of mine and he did say, ‘Man I can smell your feet a mile away!’” it whispered. Apparently, Avi heard it too, as she twisted her head back over towards Mandrill.

“What was that?!” she demanded.

“Smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away, smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away!” it continued, still growing louder and louder. Avi sneered at the voice, clenching a fist.

“Stop that rakket at once, you fool!” she ordered, firing a bolt at Mandrill’s feet.

“I was walking down the street the other day. Who did I meet? I met a friend of mine and he did say, ‘Man I can smell your breath a mile away!’” the voice retorted, every bit as loud as Avi’s shrill scream was. Suddenly, the pendant began to glow.

“I told you to stop!!” Avi screamed, firing particle bolts at Mandrill. But the blasts seemed to have no effect.

“Smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away, smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away!” the voice continued, now booming through every corner of the room. The light from the pendant was now overpowering, forcing both Mandrill and Avi to cover their eyes. Through the cracks between his fingers, Mandrill could see the light from matrixes was no longer flowing through Avi. It was flowing to the pendant. Some of the light was even coming from Avi, as her powerful aura begin to fade.

“NO!! NO!! THIS KAN’T BE HAPPENING!!! ZZCNVMCVMBNZCXBNZ!!” Avi protested, assaulting Mandrill with all her might. But none of it even phased Mandrill as the trinket glowed brighter and brighter.

“Smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away, smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away!” the voice repeated, as a bright flash filled the room. As the light slowly died away, Mandrill could see that the room had returned to its normal self. The matrixes in the pit hung lifelessly, empty of all the power they once held. At the center of the room, stood a glowing, radiant, benevolent figure Mandrill quickly recognized.

“Thank you for restoring my powers, Sir Nidely Mandrill. You’ve done well keeping reality as we knew it from falling into my wicked daughter’s clutches,” Paul McCartney congratulated.

“…What…What is this thing?” Mandrill asked, holding up the pendant.

“…That is the receptacle of my last bit of power. Before Avi captured me, I hid some of my power in it. My most faithful servant volunteered to deliver it to you personally, so that you could use it to light this dark hour…” Paul McCartney explained.

“…Your most faithful servant…?” Mandrill repeated disbelievingly. In response, the faint image of a dark-skinned, red-haired vixen appeared next to Paul McCartney. “…SARI?!”

“…My love, I always knew you had it in you to overcome this hag’s insanity. You truly are the hero of legend,” Sari assured, smiling warmly. Mandrill smiled back at her, pleased to see that he lived up to his destiny and didn’t let his true love down. Meanwhile, Avi had fallen to her knees, weeping bitterly.

“ZXCVNZCX,MVBNVVXV,MXCVBCX,MBVVMVXNMZXCVNZMBVVCXBVZCXMBV,ZCXMBV,VZ,BV,NZCBXV,VV!! I was so klose!! So klose to kreating the perfekt world Mandrill and I kould live in together, just the two of us!!” Avi wept, banging her fist on the ground.

“You are a fool, daughter. You and Mandrill were never meant to be together. Like and night and day, you were destined to stand opposed to each other, even after the end of all things,” Paul McCartney explained. Furious, Avi fruitlessly pounded her fist on Paul McCartney’s chest.

“FILTH AND LIES!! WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!! HE ISN’T MY FATED ENEMY!! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!! ZBVZXM,BVZCX,MBVZV,ZCXMBVXNXMCV,!!” she screeched, vainly blasting Paul McCartney with her magic. The deity simply sighed with woeful disdain.

“…It’s time for the world...and yourself to see you for what you really are…” Paul McCartney stated. Focusing all his energy, he blasted Avi with a beam of heavenly light. The witch screamed and yelped as the light overcame her. Suddenly, Avi began to transform before Mandrill’s disbelieving eyes. She began to rip through her already modest dress, as she turned into something that couldn’t be rationally described.

“DON’T LOOK AT MEEEEEEEE!!!” Avi wailed, covering her ‘face’ in shame…while wiping a chunk of Hunter’s soul from her ‘lips’. Suddenly, the gaping wound in Mandrill’s chest wasn’t there any more. Instead, he felt his body surging with divine power. He felt as though he could take on any obstacle. Picking himself up, Mandrill grabbed his weapons in each hand as Paul McCartney turned to face him.

“Trust me. This battle isn’t over yet. You still have a destiny to live up to. My part in this play is over. It’s up to you to finish it,” Paul McCartney urged, beckoning towards Mandrill.

“Don’t worry, my love. As long as you carry me in your heart, I shall never leave you. Now go show that hag what true love really is,” Sari urged, gently putting a hand under Mandrill’s chin. Mandrill wrapped his hand around Sari’s, looking deeply into her soft brown eyes. But as he did, she was inexplicably consumed in a roaring black inferno. As Sari’s spirit burned in the infernal hellfire, a set of scaly, fungus-covered claws skewered Paul McCartney’s chest, piercing his heart.

“Don’t make me laugh. These klichés kan’t save you! I enslaved Paul MkKartney once! I kan do it again!” Avi proclaimed, as she cast Paul McCartney’s body aside. “And Mandrill, if you will not axsept my love, then you will taste my wrath! And then I’ll use you to search the multiverse to find a Mandrill who will love me!! Even if I have to kut a bloody swath through it! ZXCVZBXNC,B,~!” she roared, firing particle bolts at Mandrill.

“No such fool exists,” Mandrill countered, deftly deflecting the bolt with his sword. Leaping into the air, Mandrill fired a barrage of rockets at the malformed witch. The missiles glowed with a heavenly aura as they screamed towards the furious Avi. Screaming, Avi tried to deflect them with her massive claws. But the missiles detonated before she could smack them aside, ravaging her already-fleeting defenses.

“NOO!! I AM AVI!! I AM HAILED AS A GODDESS AKROSS THE DIMENSHANS!! ZXCVNZMCXBVV!” Avi roared, as she breathed another jet of black flame. “I KAN’T FALL!!! NOT TO YOU, NOT TO ANYONE!!” However, Mandrill spun his sword around in a circle, instantly extinguishing the all-consuming hellfire. Roaring with unimaginable fury, Avi drew her scepter, and began calling upon the souls of the damned to conjure her next spell. But just as her spell was completed, Avi felt a razor-sharp blade cleave through her arm. She watched in horror as Mandrill caught her severed arm and turned her own soul-sucking Mr. Yum scepter against her.

Suddenly, the ground split open, revealing a fiery pit with black billowing smoke and gushing lava. Countless souls, shades and wretches poured forth from the fissure, eager to exact revenge on the one who consigned them to the eternal torment. Avi screamed as she tried to shield herself from the Damneds’ relentless onslaught, but couldn’t stop them from stripping her essence little by little.

“THIS IS NOT HOW IT SHALL END!!” Avi screamed, as she started flinging particle bolts wildly. Most of her shots disintegrated the shades swarming her, slowly stemming the tide of the vengeful Damned. But while Avi was distracted, Mandrill rushed towards her for the killing blow. Unfortunately, a particle bolt hit Mandrill head-on, engulfing him. Avi began to laugh, until the light faded, and she saw her particle bolt arcing and racing around his fist.

“CHEERYAH!!” Mandrill screamed as he slammed his fist into the ground, sending a devastating electrical shockwave racing towards Avi. Chunks of the floor were tossed up and scattered in its wake as it swiftly crept towards her. Her world went white as the shockwave swallowed her whole. She felt as though her insides were on fire as Mandrill’s electric spark and her own returned particle bolt tore through her body.

As she eventually came to, she saw they were standing on top of her tower…what was left of it. The walls and the ceiling had been obliterated, leaving only the crumbling floor and some shattered stained-glass windows. The grey skies above them rumbled slightly, as rain poured down on top of them. Raising his sword, Mandrill beckoned at Avi with his free hand.

“THESE PARLOR TRIKS KAN NOT SAVE YOU!! KOME AND MEET YOUR FATE!! ZCXVNZXBV,BCZ,!” Avi screamed, desperately flinging some of the remaining rubble with her telekinesis. Pointing his sword at Avi, Mandrill opened a portal directly in front of him. The rubble got sucked through the rip in time and space and emerged behind Avi.

However, Avi wasn’t caught off guard this time, as she swiftly disintegrated them with her particle bolts, save one she caught with her telekinesis. While Avi was occupied with her own boulders, Mandrill was swept off the ground by his steed who rushed him through the portal. The courageous knight emerged at the other end, his sword pointed straight at Avi. The witch simply laughed icily as she flung the chunk of rubble at the charging knight. The rock slammed into Mandrill’s face, sending him tumbling off his horse and sending the sword flying out of his grasp and into the portal. As Mandrill lay on the ground, Avi snatched her wand up with her telekinesis and jabbed her wand through Mandrill’s shoulder. He watched in horror as Avi snatched up Sari’s still glowing pendant, wrapping the chain around her fingers.

“At last! Now I have ALL of Paul MkKartney’s power! Now I kan resume the kompression without delay!!” Avi boasted, as lightning struck the background. Mandrill simply laughed, coughing up blood as he pointed behind Avi. Hissing, the witch turned…just in time to see Mandrill’s sword emerge through the portal, spinning through the air before it lodged itself in her head. As Avi shrieked in pain, Mandrill kicked her away from him and pulled the staff out of his shoulder. Spinning it in his hand, Mandrill impaled the staff through Avi’s throat, twisting it in, deep.

“DIIIIIEEEE!!!” Mandrill screamed, as he drove the staff in deeper.

“ZCXZBNVCXZ,MNB,ZCXMBV!!!” Avi wailed, clutching her skewered skull with her remaining hand. As the blood trickled down her ‘face’, Avi dropped to her ‘knees’, sobbing softly… “…This…This isn’t how it was supposed to be…” Avi whispered softly. “…You and I have always stood against each other akross the multiverse since the dawn of time…It has always been our destiny to wage this endless battle…” she explained, rocking softly. “…But in a world where everything eggsists as its opposite, I thought…I thought we wouldn’t have to be enemies…waging some kreator’s meaningless war…I thought…we kould be something more…In our own korner of the universe…” she wept, as she gazed at Mandrill. The glowing spark that made up her face had grown dim, flickering like a dying candle. Sighing, she gazed upwards, clenching her fist. “…Kurse, you Paul MkKartney…Why…Why kouldn’t I loved by all…? Why didn’t you make me…like the others…?” Avi sighed, pointing accusingly at the skies.

Mandrill hung his head, his heart swelling with pity, as he listened to Avi’s laments. He never realized how much anguish she carried in her heart. And in spite of everything, she truly did love him. The only way she knew how. But her torment and warped love could not redeem her. Not after all she’s done. Overcoming his sorrow for her, Mandrill walked over to her and forcefully yanked the sword out of her skull. Holding the sword in both hands, Mandrill planted next to Avi’s neck, lightly swinging it contemplatively. Avi simply laughed a raspy, coughing laugh.

“…Do it…It’s what you kame here for….I don’t want to have to spend eternity fighting you…” she sighed, hanging her head. Mandrill said nothing as he kept his sword at Avi’s throat. Drawing his arm back, Mandrill screamed with rage as he swung his sword downwards. The bloodstained sword landed just a few inches in front of Avi’s face, embedding itself in the ground.

“…No. Somehow, our war is the glue that keeps this universe together. If I killed you, I would only end up doing what you could not: destroy the whole multiverse,” Mandrill explained, glaring down at Avi. “But if you can’t bear fighting me, then I will send you someplace where you’ll never have to face me again,” he assured, as he plunged his sword through Avi’s gut. As Avi writhed in pain, a swirling vortex opened underneath her, pulling her through.

“It won’t end here, if that’s what you’re thinking…” Avi coughed, as she weakly struggled against the portal’s pull. “…If I kan survive having my head impaled on a sword and stabbed through the throat, then you know I will return. Is this what you want? Do you want to spend the rest of your mizrebell eggsistenss waging Paul MkKartney’s war?” she implored, looking up at him as she grabbed his leg. Mandrill simply stared icily down at Avi and put his boot on her chest.

“…I don’t quite know what my role is in the multiverse. And I never said I cared about maintaining Paul McCartney’s universal balance. All that matters to me is making sure that no one ever has to suffer the same fate as my Sari. And as long as people like you exist, I will always be there to stop you. Even if I must fight this battle until the end of time,” Mandrill proclaimed, his intense gaze piercing Avi’s.

Without another word, Mandrill inserted Sari’s pendant in the portal. The portal changed hues slightly and started turning in another direction as Mandrill turned the pendant. This pendant…this key truly was a miraculous device. Was there anything it couldn’t do? Mandrill hoped not. Especially as he watched Avi’s helpless body sink through the portal. Her baleful gaze never left Mandrill’s as she drifted away, her arm reaching out towards him. As the portal closed, Mandrill found himself swallowed up by a warm, white light.

As the light faded away, Mandrill found himself standing on a cliff overlooking Avi’s manor. The centermost tower began to teeter sideways before tumbling on top of a chapel. The walls began to crumble on top of themselves as the other towers started to sink into the ground. Just as the sun began to creep over the horizon, the manor had crumbled into a sorry pile of rubble. At the castle entrance, Mandrill saw a black and green muscle car speeding off into the distance. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he saw a leather-clad cowboy sitting in the driver’s seat, and a pair of figures in the backseat. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw the cowboy giving him a thumbs up and the two figures pointing straight at Mandrill just before they vanished into the horizon.

Mandrill looked down at Sari’s pendant and saw it was still glowing in his hand. It felt warm to the touch as he nestled it in his fingers. Smiling to himself, Mandrill sheathed his sword and holstered his rocket launcher as he mounted his steed. As he rode off towards the sunrise, he thought he heard a whisper in the wind.

“I was walking down the street the other day. Who did I meet? I met a friend of mine and he did say, ‘Man I can smell your feet a mile away!’ Smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away, smile away, smile away, smile away, yeah! Smile away!” He also could smell the pungent overpowering aroma of dead tuna mixed with ammonia. What was that oppressive smell coming from?

“Wait, is that a girl riding a flying motorcycle in the sky…?”

-------------------
Meanwhile, Avi awoke alone on rocky cliff overlooking nothing. There were no signs of life, no trees growing off in the distance, not even the sound of wind blowing around her. There was nothing but empty space all around her. It was just another typical day at Maori Mountains. Avi however sat hunched over the cliff, laughing to herself.

“My dear, sweet Mandrill…Evil, like my desire for you, is infinite! Your place is and always has been at my side. And one day, I shall return. And you will be mine!” Avi proclaimed, tightening a scaly, fungus-covered fist. As she boasted to herself, she heard her stomach gurgle. Smiling, she rolled up her dress, revealing her swollen stomach as something writhed around inside. “Soon, my darling. Soon…” she whispered, cradling her stomach softly. However, she was promptly whacked upside the head with a cane.

“Nyah! NYAH!! This prison world’s taken! Go find your own!” a monkey in a tophat scolded, pointing his cane at Avi.

FIN!

Special thanks to Chaos for ze shoops.
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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
AHA! I KNEW I was getting an Ultimecia vibe from Avi! So I'm NOT crazy!

...Okay, well, maybe I am...BUT STILL! If there's anything I was so totally right about, it has to be that.

Loved the climactic battle(s) even if they didn't make much sense (how many stabs to the head does it take to get to the center of a tootsiepop-I mean kill Avi?(...lol can't believe I just said that)) but they still felt epic all the same and I'm not one to throw the word epic around, in fact I try to avoid it unless I really mean it.

...WOW! A snake just ate a bird outside my window, EPIC, I SAY!

With that said, Snidley's battle with the Transformers (or at least Devouritor and Grimlock) totally reminded me of Shadow of the Colossus, which is a game that I played once that I really should get back to one of these days, it was pretty fun from what I remember.

The ending was great, I liked how the original Godmod Avi and Evil Snidley showed up, and the whole Avi bearing Snidley's child probably opens it up for a sequel...unless Evil Snidley takes care of her.

But yeah, good job.
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Hunter_Chameleon
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The Communist Merc
Totally awesome. Can't wait to see you writing on other (and hopefully just as silly) projects. =D

Also, is it me, or all the Transformers in here disappointingly not-SG ? (except Blades and Shrapnel who invert speech patterns, but still). =P

Also, all of the SG Neo Wars mods are dead. Good riddance, they were all jerks. Especially SG Hunter... >=D
Various death threats :

-I hAfE SoO mAnY iDeAs, I cAn'T cHooSe !
-Let's share !
-For Megatron !
-Mind if I play accordion?
-You're already dead.
-Seconded.
-Step aside, commoners !
-I-I'm new at this d-death threat stuff.
-... Huh?
-Let us write the stuff of legends !
-Bow to Alpha !

And from higer-ups :

-Crush the Alphas !
-With any chance, it won't earn you a place in my Tome of Grudges, lad.
-Pray I don't let the bloodthirsty ones handle the issue ! Gyahahahahaaa !
-Decepticons : Operation : rock.
-I, Cruellock, shall rip you apart, wot.
-It was written, and I am merely Fate's pen.

-And when they're all done, I'll make you all better !
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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
The only one who I didn't see die a horrible death was Redips Metabad SG Metabad, so I guess his death is implied.

Unless he comes back in the sequel as The Great Redips that large clusterfuck of a second form.

Though hopefully not.
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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