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201 Things the Worst KoNA Player Can't Do
Topic Started: Aug 14 2009, 12:41 PM (4,595 Views)
Shade Man
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I am the order within chaos...or is that the reverse?
939: Optic Sunflower is not allowed to breed Mandrago with a Ditto to get a Budew. She is not a pokemon.

940: This applies to any character and a Ditto.

941: This especially applies to Berkana, the Ditto has a restraining order against her.

942: Lumine is not part of Team Galactic...he's obviously part of Team Rocket after all.

943: Even though if on stuffs him in just right he'd possibly fit Optic is not allowed to put Gigavolt in a Pokeball.

944: He's been given consent to do so in Botos' case though...from Alpha.

945: Zap's Law: Electricity > Magnetism

946: Gauss' Law: Magnetism > Electricity

947: The previous two rules are not official. Gauss and Zap are barred from making rules from here on out.

948: The revised rule 945 and 946 are as follows:

Tengu Man > Bass

Tengu Man = nothing

Guess who made those rules?

949: It was Reggae...he is trying to start shit with Tengu Man and me.

950: MEGA MAN'S NAME IS NOT MEGA!!! DAMN YOU MM:PU!!!
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You got Serv'd....get it? :P
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Shade Man
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I am the order within chaos...or is that the reverse?
951: No one is allowed to make Weaseletta and Terror Teddy as characters in the RPG. If they do I get to make Sari Sumdac & a Lays Potato Chip bag as the new ultimate villains.

952: The potato chip bag will be a plot device as Alpha went mad after only being allowed to eat a single chip. He couldn't have just one.

953: We would also gain a new hero: Posted Image CARROT MAN!!! And his sidekick... Posted Image Wonder Weasel.

954: Note the irony of using Pauly Shore as a countermeasure for Weaseletta...it takes Weasel to kill a Weasel....bud-dy?
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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
955. Rule 951 is hereby null and void since it is in direct violation of rules 1-975 that state you cannot play Sari Sumdac. For even suggesting this, Alpha must make out with Sol Cockataris and each of Scylla Storm's heads until Shademan is finished singing 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida' (the long version) while wearing Madonna's panties.

956. I can understand where you're coming from on this, Dyna. If you absolutely must bring in a character that no one likes to balance out Weaselleta, bring in Tar and the Lion Men from the Ruby Spears cartoon show. At least they'll be good for something for a change.

957. I am aware there no rules 958-975 yet. Don't correct me.

958. I would make up rule saying that despite her well-known heritage on this forum, Burstgirl is forbidden from singing 'I Put a Spell on You,'. But Avi's just gonna complain about banning pop references again.

959. Besides, I think she really has her heart set on singing that song.
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REX Barron
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Multipurpose.
960. Neither Ground Man nor Drill Man can drill a hole in the space-time continuum. It is wrong to tell Dive Man otherwise.

961. Even if Dive might try it anyway.

962. However, Dive should, at one point, say: "Hi, I'm Dive. I'm a cold-blooded murder. Who're you?"

963. Bright Man, if and when he appears, is not allowed to use a trans-universe portal so that he and his friends can have a huge anime orgy.

964. Even if Bright ends up a female instead.

965. Also, Drill Man cannot have a relationship with a superhuman. Not that I don't trust you to avoid this, Proto Stryker, but still. :P

966. Do not talk about Rule 966.

967. Do NOT talk about Rule 967.

968. No, Mattrex cannot transform into a human and back.

969. PLACE HOLDER! PLACE HOLDER! PLACE HOLDER! PLACE H
THE OBLIGATORY SISTER FORUM PLUG

[size0]My characters:
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.
[size0]My NPCs:
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"I don't see myself as better than EVERYONE, but near everyone is better than YOU."
.
"Gravs gon' drop it on ya: What goes up mus' come down."
.
"Shut it now or I'm gonna KILL YOU!"
.
"All right! Time to roll out!"
.
"See ya on the highway, bud."
.
"No problem, bro! I can take care of that."
.
"You won't get a range named after you, motherfucker."
.
"What's happening, people?"/"…"
.
"Judge Tretesta Cerberean reporting! I'm here to kick some ass! Right… Like that'll solve all your problems..."
.
"You know what they say: To live is to die."
.
"Move over Grid Man, there's a new MVP in town!"
.
"Cybertron is cool, but Earth rules."

"Are you aware how lucky you are to have lived until now..."
.
"There's only so much we can do… It's better to act than to say it's not enough and stand down."
.
"I'm no hero, but if an enemy appears before me, I WILL destroy it!"


Quote:
 
Cobra Omega says:
Proof that I'm the only action I ever get.
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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
970. The first rule of KoNA is, you do not talk about KoNA.

971. The second rule of KoNA is, you DO NOT talk about KoNA.

972. If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the RP is over.

973. Two guys to a RP.

974. One RP at a time.

975. No shirts, no shoes.

976. RP's will go on as long as they have to.

977. If this is your first night at KoNA, you have to RP.

978. If you don't fly this thing right...I swear to God I'm gonna kill you...

979. None of the Eight Gentle Judges are Judge Dredd, get over it. I know I still have to.

980. We don't talk about this rule anymore, so we don't dare follow it or even mention it and if you do so then blood is going to leak out of every orifice of your body and your limbs are going to simultaneously spontaneously combust, explode, and then melt into a gas which when others breathe it in, they will suffer the same fate. This may seem physically impossible and downright ludicrous at first...but trust me, it's all too real...take my word for it.

981. This rule is null and void as it originally correlated with the previous rule that must never be mentioned again, so this too shall come to pass.
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
982. Peeing in Coldman’s, Scylla Storm’s and all the other ice bot’s ice tanks so that they attack with yellow snow is in poor taste.

983. Mostly because Diveman already went there. You’d just be ripping him off.

984. Whoever got their tongue stuck on Scylla Storm’s body got what they deserve.

985. Do NOT try to get your tongue frozen on Leviathan’s body.

986. You know she'll cut it off. And your tongue too.

987. If you ever beat Spark Mandrill or Purprill Mandroid, it is inappropriate to declare victory by saying you ‘Spanked the Monkey’.

988. On a similar note, do not refer to any conflict between Diveman, Elecman, Sparkman, Gareth, Infernal Salamandra, Tau, and/or Sol Cockataris as a ‘Jerk Off’

989. Slur and Irving must not use Glowman.exe as a poor man’s tanning bed.

990. Placing landmines on a toilet seat is wrong.

991. Bubbleman, Cancer Bubble and Bubble Crab do not create their respective weapons by eating lots of chipotle and farting in the water.

992. Well, maybe Bubble Crab, but not Bubbleman or Cancer Bubble.

993. Deathtanz Mantisk may’ve developed a fascination with burning corpses, but it s inappropriate for him to use them to open the creepiest Las Vegas ever.

994: Repliforce is prohibited from having Plantman fashion a body completely out of marijuana, walk behind enemy lines, then light himself on fire.

995: No matter how much Junkman wants that to happen.

996. Avi cannot, and I mean cannot, under any circumstances, claim victory by farting into Airman’s or Windman’s fans

997. In fact, just standing behind them is out.

998. We want to breathe, thank you very much, Ms. Stench of the Universe.

999. Theta can’t get a contact buzz from poking around Diveman’s or Junkman’s minds.

1000. Holy dog shit, we made it to 1000. How can we celebrate? I know how: YOU STILL CANNOT PLAY SARI SUMDAC!

1001. Putting dish detergent in Bubbleman’s weapon system will not endear you to him one bit.

1002. Go ahead and do it to Burstgirl or Bubble Crab.
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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
1003. You are not allowed to yell "YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, MANTISK!" around the judge, because he will.

1004. I totally didn't steal that from Spark in an AIM convo we had, nope.

1005. Spark Mandrill is not allowed to transform into Devouritor and teabag me for stealing his material.

1006. Even if he's doing it to me right now, but at least I didn't come into contact with any of the mushed Sari guts on those things, that's just nasty and not allowed.

1007. Redips cannot take the spotlight from Epsilon again, seriously that was half assed and shoehorned enough into the damn game, besides Epsilon needs his time in the spotlight, he worked hard for it and I think he deserves it.

1008. Life Virus R is not allowed to teabag people.

1009. Let it be known that the "R" in Life Virus R's name does not stand for "Retarded"

1010. No matter what Slur thinks.

1011. Or what Ricardo Irving thinks.

1012. You're also not allowed to call Ricardo Irving "Retardo Irving" It's not funny, it's not clever, it's just childish. I mean come on cut him some slack, the poor guy gets enough flak as it is.

1013. Although Life Virus R and Queenbee can produce Scuttles and bees respectively on a whim, they are not pregnant...although...that would explain a lot of things...

1014. Life Virus R and Queenbee are not the parents of each other's children, don't try and pair them up either, it won't be pretty.

1015. Dr.Vladimir Butler is not an actual butler and will not open doors or fetch tea for you.

1016. Weil, that rule applies to you too, now stop asking him.

1017. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! The Chaos King is NEVER allowed to use Chaos Control, OR posses the Chaos Emeralds, EVER!

1018. He's also not allowed to swipe Zero's DNA and mix it with his own DNA sample in order to create a liquified fusion of the two named "Chaos Zero"

1019. Berkana, you're not allowed to do that either.

1020. Take their DNA if you'd like, but at least set up some boundaries for yourself.

1021. Oh yeah also, Queenbee cannot show up to Laguz Island in order to duel Berkana for the rightful title of "Queen B"

1022. That's why I included her Japanese name in her backstory, to avoid this kind of thing.

1023. The Media Dimension does not exist, and if you claim to have seen it then you are a liar, why do you lie so much?

1024. You are not allowed to RP as Candlejack beca-

1025. You are not allowed to watch this vide-

1026. Lex Loathe is not allowed to menace the Pound Puppies while singing about him being the king of everything.

1027. Though Chaos King is allowed to say how he's the king of everything, even if it isn't true.

1028. He's NOT allowed to sing that song however.

1029. Rule #829 also applies to Queenbee.
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
1030. Please do not try to kill Fenri Lunaedge by having Sarah Palin gun him down from a helicopter.

1031. Look, Weil. I understand the whole 'If I can't have him, no one can' attitude. But bringing that mentally castrated cow into this is totally uncalled for.

1032. And Sierra Avalon's gonna be REALLY pissed when she finds out that Palin stole her helicopter.

1033. This whole thing applies to Blizzard Wolfang, too.

1034. Sarah Palin can't shoot people down while riding Gyroman, either.

1035. Look, if someone doesn't get rid of that four-eyed mental midget in the next five seconds, Deathtanz Mantisk will.
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Avi
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Puppies. <3
LOL, long ago when I still had time to actually care about teams, I actually considered writing something with Sarah Palin trying to snipe Wolf Woods from a helicopter. But I didn't want to risk bringing in politics so I didn't write anything, haha ^_^;

so um

1036. the "four eyed mental midget" in rule 1035 does not refer to
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ALPHA WON, EVERYONE GO HOME.
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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
1037. Spark Mandrill's severed paw does not have the power to grant wishes.

1038. Neither does Purprill's.

1039. Or mine.

1040. Seriously, imagining Spark Mandrill wandering around Maverick Hunter HQ, holding his own severed hand and wondering why it's not granting him any wishes is the saddest thing I've ever heard of. So don't go spreading that rumor around, for his sake.

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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
1041. Sonia Strumm is not allowed to have a special voice that will summon Nebula Grey if she sings the right notes.

1042. She's also not allowed to be captured by an aging rockstar trying to achieve his former glory by accomplishing the above task.

1043. No one will get that reference.

1044. KoNA is dead and nothing will change that, stop coming back here Metabad.

1045. Seriously it's not going to somehow magically come back even if you are gone for a while.

1046. No, the non canon RPs won't come back either, stop checking them.

1047. It's been years, it's time to move on.

1048. I guess you can reminisce once in a while and read old posts though, if you want to.

1049. This is getting depressing.

1050. I should stop this.

1051. Don't shoot the food.

1052. You are not allowed to post on KoNA anymore...wait oh SHI-
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Scorpio
Grand Master Metool
1053: Grizzly Slash is not Freddy Fazbear. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise.

1054: And by extension, Childre Inarabbita, Popla Cocapetri, and Cubit Foxtar and not Bonnie, Chica, or Foxy, respectively.

1055: Gravity Antonion is not going to panic at the sight of Snipe Anteator. Stop asking.

I'd add more, but I'm too damn lazy to think of any more at the moment.
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Shade Man
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I am the order within chaos...or is that the reverse?
1056: Springtrap is not a Biometal user.
[Posted Image

You got Serv'd....get it? :P
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