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| 201 Things the Worst KoNA Player Can't Do | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 14 2009, 12:41 PM (4,597 Views) | |
| Briansfox | Jun 5 2010, 02:40 PM Post #91 |
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The fine line between insanity and creativity
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797. Do not point out that Mu does not follow the standard practice of Tarot. 798. I know that in actual Tarot, the dealer cannot draw the cards himself, but take into account how big Mu is, and how big his deck of Tarot cards has to be in order for him to use it. Some corners just have to be cut. 799. Shadowman will not make any deals with soul-hungry Voodoo gods for whatever reason. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise. 800. Nor will his shadow move on its own accord (although that would be pretty awesome). 801. You are not obligated to respond to Gateman or Gate if they approach you by yelling "Stop! Who dares enter my sacred realm? ANSWER ME, MAGGOT!" 802. On a related note, niether Gateman or Gate have the power to banish anyone to the "blaghoe". 803. None of the Servbots are allowed to make a new member of the Bonne crew by pretending there's a little man named "Mr. Bimble" living inside their finger. 804. Servbot #41 is exempt from rule 803 due to rule 763. 805. Iris cannot be split into three fairies made out of blocks. Whoever tries to do this will get a rapier up his/maybe her ass courtesy of Colonel. It's also wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise. |
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Snipe Anteater: Only a fool seeks answers from a bowl of oatmeal. Generic villian: Are you calling me a fool?! Snipe Anteater: No, a bowl of oatmeal. | |
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| Metabad | Jun 6 2010, 03:32 AM Post #92 |
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
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806. Hyleg is not Toadman.exe's evil aunt who killed his parents and cursed him to forever be a frog in order to capture him, only for him to later become a secret agent. 807. Nor is Hyleg a woman, no matter what Metal Shark Player may or may not think. |
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| Strider Hiryu | Jun 6 2010, 07:50 AM Post #93 |
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808. Indy will always fear Hyleg. Forever will see him in his dreams! 809. Gate may have a golden form, but he ain't no Midas. |
| Retired from Roleplaying. | |
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| Spark Mandrill | Jun 6 2010, 02:47 PM Post #94 |
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
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810. Gutsman's right arm isn't that big because he uses it to masturbate. 811. It's not just wrong to tell Wreck-Gar this. It's stealling his innocence. 812. Dr. Light is not going to tie a bunch of balloons to his lab fly to South America with Megaman and Rush. 813. Nor are they doing this to track down Vulturon Condorrock's actual skeleton. 814. If that's why Wreck-Gar and Spark Mandrill have showed up at his lab with a bunch of balloons, someone's going to be sorry. 815. Remember what I said about swapping Magicman's deck out for cards with naked chicks on them? Mu's not going to like it any more than Magicman will. 816. Naked lady tarot cards are perfectly acceptable, and encouraged. 817. Whether Mu says it is or not. 818. Aquagirl is not the Kool-Aid Man's illegitimate daughter. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise. 819. Please do not add Kool-Aid to her water. 820. Or Bubble Crab's, Cancer Bubble's, Neptune's, or Bubbleman's. 821. Especially if they're in the middle of a wet t-shirt contest. 822. Seriously, don't screw with Berkana's winning streak, now. Everyone's rooting for her. 823. Go ahead and add some to PC Waveman's, though. 824. He's a crappy Taiwan pirate controlled by Avi, and listening to him gripe about it will be nothing short of hilarious. 825. Mattrex must not and will not introduce himself dial random numbers and saying, "Hello, [whoever]. Are you ready to learn about...THE MATTREX??" And I can't believe I made that joke. 826. He's especially not allowed to do this while wearing all-black, shades and moving in slo-mo. 827. I know you're having trouble getting him off the ground, Rex. But tough shit. 828. When someone asks why Red has that name even though he doesn't have that much red on his outfit, he is not to respond, "I know don't have much red on my costume. But if you know your history, then it makes perfect sense!" |
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| Metabad | Jun 11 2010, 03:42 PM Post #95 |
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
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829. Neither Berkana nor Slur are allowed to have magic thumbs that turn people into stone, nor are they to sing or announce how they are the queen of mean. 830. Bloodrose is not allowed to have a green thumb that makes animate dancing plants, nor is he allowed to sing how his world is absolutely green. 831. Sonicman is not allowed to run at sonic speed or collect rings while destroying his Motherboard comrades only to free little animals that are inside them. 832. Shadow is also not allowed to be Sonicman's archenemy, nor is he allowed to declare himself the ultimate life form, same goes for Shadowman. 833. Berkana is not allowed to own a Burlesque house and sing about it. 834. Brookhaven is just fine for that sort of thing, thank you very much. 835. CRORQ will not throw discarded food at his Motherboard minions 836. I know you're all expecting him to, but I'm sorry, he won't. 837. Nor does he have an addiction to KFC. 838. I wish I could say 'you cannot RP as Redips' but sadly he is a Megaman character, woe is me. 839. However, I CAN say that he cannot be Spider, so HAH! 840. You are not allowed to take pictures of Metal Shark Player in the shower. 841. I'll have you know that he stays far away from those things. |
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| Scorpio | Jun 11 2010, 06:32 PM Post #96 |
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Grand Master Metool
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843: You cannot play as Rock Lobster. 844: Androids do not dream of electric Sheep Men. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise. 845: Doesn't really stop them from doing so, though... 846: Cresent Grizzly/Grizzly Slash is NOT a pedobear. It is a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY AND ROBOTKIND to tell Wreck-Gar and/or Spark Mandrill otherwise. |
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| REX Barron | Jun 12 2010, 12:00 AM Post #97 |
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Multipurpose.
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847. Mattrex will never again pose as part of an amusement park ride... unless your offer is in the six-figure range. 848. But as Spark Mandrill said, he will not imitate a certain movie pastiche found on deviantART. 849. He'd instead leave it to the main characters from the X series to imitate a different one. 850. The next person to say "ain't no" will be fed to Scylla Storm. |
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THE OBLIGATORY SISTER FORUM PLUG [size0]My characters: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() . [size0]My NPCs: ![]() "I don't see myself as better than EVERYONE, but near everyone is better than YOU." . "Gravs gon' drop it on ya: What goes up mus' come down." . "Shut it now or I'm gonna KILL YOU!" . "All right! Time to roll out!" . "See ya on the highway, bud." . "No problem, bro! I can take care of that." . "You won't get a range named after you, motherfucker." . "What's happening, people?"/"…" . "Judge Tretesta Cerberean reporting! I'm here to kick some ass! Right… Like that'll solve all your problems..." . "You know what they say: To live is to die." . "Move over Grid Man, there's a new MVP in town!" . "Cybertron is cool, but Earth rules." "Are you aware how lucky you are to have lived until now..." . "There's only so much we can do… It's better to act than to say it's not enough and stand down." . "I'm no hero, but if an enemy appears before me, I WILL destroy it!"
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| Strider Hiryu | Jun 12 2010, 10:39 AM Post #98 |
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851. Neon Tiger, Mattrex, Flame Mammoth, Silver Horns and Mattrex's Pteradon mini boss aren't Zords. 852. Nor can they combine and create the Megazord. |
| Retired from Roleplaying. | |
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| Metabad | Jun 19 2010, 04:59 PM Post #99 |
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
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853. You are not allowed to stab Dark Star through the crotch in order to kill him. 854. Seriously, the poor guy is still trying to recover from when that happened last time, he doesn't need that trauma again. 855. There are to be no Bullwinkle or Santa's reindeer jokes around Flame Stag or Buckfire, Flame Stag will just kick your ass or demand that you be more original, and you're just going to confuse poor Buckfire. 856. Serges is not going to create a life partner and put half of his brain inside her head. 857. Nor is he going to create a living ragdoll that will fall in love with Skullman. 858. Skullman is not the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, nor does he own a ghost dog. He is also not allowed to take over Christmas. |
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| Briansfox | Jun 19 2010, 07:36 PM Post #100 |
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The fine line between insanity and creativity
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859. Zero cannot be the ghost dog referenced in Rule 858. 860. Nor must he be forced to chase down an annoying pink hedgehog and her pet bird. 861. General is not allowed to have a psychic second-in-command that will end up betraying Repliforce and try to brainwash the world. That's just a recipe for disaster. 862. If a character is frozen by an ice-based character's attack, they should not feel inclined to yell out "I WAS FROZEN TODAY!" after they have thawed. Doing so will lead to them getting frozen again. |
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Snipe Anteater: Only a fool seeks answers from a bowl of oatmeal. Generic villian: Are you calling me a fool?! Snipe Anteater: No, a bowl of oatmeal. | |
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| Avi | Jun 19 2010, 08:57 PM Post #101 |
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Puppies. <3
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...so basically, KoNA is policed by Chief Wiggum. Remember that episode of the Simpsons where he was arresting people for imitating movie characters? Homer as Forrest Gump, Moe as Austin Powers, Doctor Hibbert as Darth Vader? Because these "rules" are what it reminds me of. Seriously, can't a citizen act out as their favorite pop culture icon without being thrown in the slammer these days? D': |
| ALPHA WON, EVERYONE GO HOME. | |
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| Spark Mandrill | Jun 20 2010, 02:49 PM Post #102 |
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
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Well then, by that logic, we'd have to arrest ourselves since we'd be impersonating Chief Wiggum, since you know our stance on pop-culture references....Or is that your plan all along...? Well played, Avi. Well played. Seriously though, there is an abundance of pop-culture-y rules to be had here. Of all the rules written so far, about 100 of them by my count aren't referencing pop culture. Yikes. Let me try to fix that, with rules that, you know, actually prohibit specific actions rather than references....Right after one or two more pop culture references. 863. Alpha cannot kidnap Groundman or Drillman, insert nuclear weapons inside of them, then threaten to have them burrow into the Earth’s core and trigger a world-wide volcanic eruption. 864. Nor can they ask for one MILLION dollars while they’re doing this. 865. Ferham can't get more power-ups by whipping Fireman in the head. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise. 866. And she knows she can't get any from whipping you, Cobra. Don't waste time suggesting it. 867. I am officially done with pop culture references. They were fun while they lasted. 868. Eating garlic pizza before talking to Shademan will get you nowhere. 869. He'll just think you're a Burstgirl wannabe. 870. Do not bring Berkana Childre Inarabbita’s DNA so she can engineer your very own reploid Playboy bunnies 871. Nor will she engineer cat girls for you using Panther Fauclaws’s or Neon Tiger’s DNA. 872. Refer to rule 10 on this one. 873. No, she's not going to engineer your own mermaid using Leviathan's or Splashwoman's DNA. Stop pestering her to make super-hot fantasy friends for you! 874. Anyone who asks her for any of those will get a MSP playboy bunny...shark...thingie/crime against nature. 875. Giving Blitzwing, Beta and Teiwaz German barmaid outfits due to their accents is wrong on any number of levels 876. Especially since they’re crazy enough to actually wear them without a second thought 877. Despite his heritage, Yamatoman does not have an overwhelming compulsion to kill Duff McWhalen/Tidal Whale. 878. If that's how you were hoping to kill Duff McWhalen, it's back to the drawing board for you. 879. Torchman is not a mis-dubbed version of Fireman. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise 880. Savageman and Slashman are forbidden from getting people’s attention by scraping their nails across a chalkboard 881. My ears are bleeding just thinking about that 882. You are not allowed to drink Hermes, Toxic Seahorse and Mercury through a straw 883. Hermes is not allowed to drink himself through a straw 884. Don’t try to spike drinks using drops from either one of them. 885. It’s not as good as it sounds, trust me on this. 886. But placing Mr. Yuk stickers on either one of them is highly unnecessary. 887. Besides, I'm saving them up in case Avi feels like making a new character 888. If we’re throwing a kegger, refrain from using Aquagirl or PC Waveman as the keg. 889. They've already pulled bidet duty. 890. Queen Virgo’s name is not any way a reference to whether or not she still is a virgin. Don’t get yer hopes up. 891. Anyone who asks Ratont or Planetman about that will have signed their death warrant in capital letters. 892. You can’t vanquish Blizzard Wolfang or Fenri Lunaedge by scratching behind their ears and rubbing their bellies. 893. If you try this, you will be torn to shreds before Deathtanz Mantisk can even get his hands on you 894. Slur revolutionized cyber technology so as to help the human race adapt and survive the upcoming war, not so that you can “Cyber” in a whole new way. 895. Sorry Cobra, you’re out of luck again. 896. Anyone who tries to Cyber with Slur is asking for trouble. 897. Anyone who buys Crashman a grabber for his birthday will have made a powerful and vengeful enemy... 898. ...In the form of Iota. She just picked one up for him yesterday and she doesn't want anyone showing her up. 899. Trying to get Iota and Mega Man Juno into a staring contest with each other is either a recipe for failure or a recipe for utter disaster. So don't do it. 900. You hear that? That's the sound of Sari Sumdac not being played! Isn't it beautiful? Yes it is. 901. Playing the 1812 Overture around Bombman will not end well. 902. Do not use Coldman or any of the other millions of other friggin' ice-based robots to keep your beer cold. 903. Even if you promised them a cut of your stash. 904. Diveman can tell you from personal experience that they don't do as good of a job as you'd think. And promising them a cut gets expensive fast. 905. Even though they can easily regenerate themselves, using bits and pieces of Bloodrose and Plantman for your salad is creepy. 906. Do not ask Blitzwing if that's what he meant by having a servo salad. 907. You can't use Elecman, Sparkman, Dynamoman, Spark Mandrill, Pegasolta Ekrail, Cloud Man, Jupiter, Voltman, Volteel, Harupia, or Sol Cockataris to power your own Plug-In Playmate. 908. ESPECIALLY not Iota. 909. Besides, Elecman's too busy powering his own to help you with yours. 910. Berkana is not a plug-in playmate minus the cord. 911. And Iota is not a battery powered plug-in playmate. Anyone who insists that she is so in for a world of pain. 912. Do not encourage Bombman to play dodgeball with his own bombs. 913. Whoever said 'Take the bull by the horns' obviously didn't have Blizzard Buffalo in mind. If that's your strategy, you're in deep shit. 914. If Guts 'N Brawn, Neo Mafia, and Alpha run out of magnets for their fridge, Magnetman, Spade Magnets and Tau will not be happy if anyone tries to use them as a substitute |
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| Metabad | Jun 20 2010, 04:20 PM Post #103 |
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
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915. Professor Theodore Clark did not have two colleagues named Alvin and Simon. 916. He was not taught by a scientist named Professor Dave. 917. Theodore Clark does not have a high pitched voice. It is wrong to force him to suck up helium and make him sing. 918. He'll just get Life Virus R to kill you, or he'll kill you in his T-Virus form before you get the chance to do so. 919. If Epsilon is ever complete, he is not allowed to turn into Satan and boast "I AM COMPLEEEETE" and then challenge Jack Black and Kyle Gass to a rock off. 920. Hellbat Schilt is not allowed to greet his fellow judges by saying "Hidely-ho neighborinoes!" 921. When asked how he got his name, Grave is not allowed to kill you and say "that's how." 922. Even if I do think that's kinda badass. 923. Rules 865 and 866 also apply to Flame Stag and Francoise Goulet while we're at it. |
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| Spark Mandrill | Jun 26 2010, 08:54 PM Post #104 |
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
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924. Motherboard can't ensure the slow, steady decline of a faction they don't like by forcing their leader to jump over Sharkman. 925. If that's why CRORQ's keeping Sharkman around, he's going to have to rethink things. 926. Besides, if CRORQ tries that on Berkana, she'll be more likely to jump on the shark than over it. 926. And Berkana can't try to use the same principle by having Slur or Weil jump over Metal Shark Player. 927. Neither CRORQ nor Berkana can mount Sharkman or MSP and ride them to safety. 928. No, Berkana. You can still mount and ride MSP. Just not to safety or anywhere. 929. Remember what I said about Aquagirl pretending to be Elecman's bastard daughter? Please don't try to con Berkana out of child support by pretending her illegitimate daughter, either. 930. I know you think your chances are good, and ordinarilly, they would be. But Berkana knows for a fact that she hasn't done the Kool-Aid Man yet. 931. Gravity Beetle, I'm afraid rule 912 applies to you and your gravity wells, too. 932. No matter how much fun Gear thinks it'd be. 933. Seriously, would you play dodgeball with a sphere of annihilation? 934. 'Yes' is not a good answer. 935. Alright, fine. I guess playing it in Avi's living room with Bombman is acceptable. If you absolutely insist. I call skins. |
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| Saturn Ballad | Jun 27 2010, 12:23 PM Post #105 |
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Jazz hands!
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936: No one is allowed to yell "THIS! IS! ARCADIAAAAAAAAA!" and kick their enemy into a pit. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise. 937: It is wrong to force SearchMan to wear a slouch hat and sunglasses, and give him an empty jar and tell him to "Go nuts". 938: Seriously, you expect someone with no kidneys or bladder to do that? Really. |
![]() Lololol it's been years since I went by this username | |
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8:46 AM Jul 11