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201 Things the Worst KoNA Player Can't Do
Topic Started: Aug 14 2009, 12:41 PM (4,599 Views)
The Wildebeast
Member Avatar
Yes, I know it's spelled "Wildebeest"
Indy,Aug 16 2009
11:47 AM
612. Slashman is not a furry.

Yeah, but you can probably find one or two furry fetish films documented in his... shall we say... 'adult film' career.

He prefers traditional BDSM, though.
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My Characters:
* The Geeky, Gregarious Gadgeteer and The Cautious, Curious Child
* The Big, Brutish Brawler
* The Sweet, Singing Southerner
* The Streetwise Shape Shifter and The Powerful, Perceptive Parisian
* The Scrappy Scarlet Speedster
* The Thoughtful Therapist
* The Brawny, Bubbly Blonde and The Cranky, Caustic Cook
* The Sickeningly Psychotic Sadomasochist
* The Loyal Latin Luchador and his Amulet Advisor
* The Army's Avian Admiral
* The Abhorrent Artist and his Mindless, Mumbling Mooks
* The Snarky Satirist
* The Eccentric, Engineering Entrepreneur

Credit to Avi for the idea
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Strider Hiryu
Member Avatar
.
The Wildebeast,Aug 16 2009
12:22 PM
Indy,Aug 16 2009
11:47 AM
612. Slashman is not a furry.

Yeah, but you can probably find one or two furry fetish films documented in his... shall we say... 'adult film' career.

He prefers traditional BDSM, though.

Would he like "When animals go wild?"

Someone on AIMEd refered ot him as a Sonic furry, that's why.
Retired from Roleplaying.
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Spark Mandrill
Member Avatar
This face will be lying in bed next to you.
625. Shademan and Hellbat Schilt are not Batman

626. Nor can they breathe in space.

627. Fenri Lunaedge is not Dodger from “Oliver and Company”. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise.

628. He is strictly forbidden from singing “Why Should I Worry? Why Should I Care?” while taunting Oliver

629. He may have “Street Savoir Faire”, but there’s no need to flaunt it

630. Fenri Lunaedge also must never jump a row of buses on a motorcycle

631. Nor start a jukebox by punching it while saying “Eyyyyyy!”

632. Jazz is not to pull Oliver aside to teach him the ways of “The Shining”

633. Even though he sounds like Scattman Crothers

634. Oliver will simply think that Jazz wants to give him a BODY MASSAGE!

635. Mantisk must never hack open your door with an axe, peer inside, and grin maniacally saying “Heeerrre’s Johnny, Johnny!”

636. Condorrock and Soundwave can not unlock “Star Power” if they hit a 50+ note streak. It is wrong to tell them otherwise

637. Whoever’s playing that xylophone as Skullman walks around has a deathwish

638. Even if it’s probably me

639. Whoever takes Hanumachine, he can not RP him as "The Evil Monkey who Lives in My Closet"

640. Anyone caught doing this will be gutted by Deathtanz Mantisk

641. Twice

642. Shademan cannot run a chain of vampire night clubs

643. Nor should he be surprised to see Wesley Snipes come in to single-handedly tear them apart

644. Members of Crimson Twilight can not paint a huge Confederate flag on Sisi

645. Or Turboman

646. Or get them to jump over bridges and ravines

647. Or if they do, Flashman can’t use his time stopper to freeze them in midair and give meaningless narrations in a deep Southern accent

648. See Rule Numbers 640 and 641 about this one

649. No one in Crimson Twilight is to give a “Rebel Yell”

650. Junkman is not Boss Hogg

651. Though Burstgirl must wear Daisy Dukes

652. Lex Loathe does not have a Kryptonite ring. Do not give him one

653. See Rule #648 about this one
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Saturn Ballad
Member Avatar
Jazz hands!
654: Spike Rosered is NEVER allowed to sing. His six different octaves will stab your eardrums in different ways.

656: Bamboo Pandamonium is not allowed to train under the Furious Five.

657: Cancer Bubble is not SplashWoman's tattle-tale aide, nor is WaveMan her father, A.K.A. The Ruler of the Sea. It is wrong to tell everyone that they are.

658: Nor is Ktulu Lightning an angry octopus wanting souls in return for his advice and help.

659: You are not allowed to tell Magma Dragoon that "Ryu's Hadoken is better hur hur". If you do, he is allowed to beat you to a bloody pulp.

660: It's impolite to mention "speed" near QuickMan. He sometimes thinks of the other speed.

661: Even though he says he'll let them keep the toilet paper, Tiesel Bonne is NOT allowed to T.P. their houses with it.

662: Egging their houses is a lot more effective, but you may not ask SnakeMan, ToadMan, or Storm Eagle for a supply of eggs.

663: You are not allowed to burn Terra's shampoo, screaming "RECYCLE! RECYCLE!" Because he'll probably recycle YOU.

664: TurboMan may be a racer, but it's bad to say "Ka-chow!" in his presence.

665: It is a major offense if you paint Burn Mattrex purple with yellow spots and make him sing to children.

666: Alpha's army is not allowed to come together and sing "Number of the Beast" just because this rule is #666.

667: But they CAN sing it now.

EDIT: Shit, forgot #655.

655: SiSi is NOT actually a Mack semi-truck. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise.
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Lololol it's been years since I went by this username
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The Wildebeast
Member Avatar
Yes, I know it's spelled "Wildebeest"
Quote:
 
Would he like "When animals go wild?"


In all likelihood, yeah, he probably would.

Quote:
 
627. Fenri Lunaedge is not Dodger from “Oliver and Company”. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise.

628. He is strictly forbidden from singing “Why Should I Worry? Why Should I Care?” while taunting Oliver

629. He may have “Street Savoir Faire”, but there’s no need to flaunt it

630. Fenri Lunaedge also must never jump a row of buses on a motorcycle


So I take it that Serpent can't be Sykes either?
Posted Image

My Characters:
* The Geeky, Gregarious Gadgeteer and The Cautious, Curious Child
* The Big, Brutish Brawler
* The Sweet, Singing Southerner
* The Streetwise Shape Shifter and The Powerful, Perceptive Parisian
* The Scrappy Scarlet Speedster
* The Thoughtful Therapist
* The Brawny, Bubbly Blonde and The Cranky, Caustic Cook
* The Sickeningly Psychotic Sadomasochist
* The Loyal Latin Luchador and his Amulet Advisor
* The Army's Avian Admiral
* The Abhorrent Artist and his Mindless, Mumbling Mooks
* The Snarky Satirist
* The Eccentric, Engineering Entrepreneur

Credit to Avi for the idea
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Metabad
Member Avatar
I have no pupils and I must scream.
670. If Mantisk makes any more death threats I will be quite upset.

671. And by "Quite upset" I mean "dead"
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
672. Using Waveman as a bidet is wrong

673. Even though I make a habit of it.
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Strider Hiryu
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674. Splashwoman did not pose for Chicken of the Sea Tuna.

675. Hornetman does not sell Bumblebee Tuna.
Retired from Roleplaying.
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Cobra Omega
Member Avatar
There, now you can see Guardian's various elements
676. Do not make typos, because they may or may not cause Cobra to start making up songs.

677. And if Cobra does make up a song, he's gonna end up singing it until you all hate it.

678. The song that is, not Cobra's singing.

679. Speaking of singing, do not let Botos sing EVER.

680. Hearing Botos sing is worse than going to Hell, and you're just gonna lose your sanity listening to him in the process.
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*Cobra Omega & Guardian
*Death ex Machina
*Emeraldo Leone & Rubalina Leone
*Craothe Lythuus & Porkler Hamalot
*Thornacus Zornillion & Gemini Machina
*Drakelor Alpha & Armarando Blitzuuga
*Cosmo Man & Solar Knight
*Leroy the Chopper Joe
*Kaiser & B.D.
*Onyxor, Adamantius, & Garnetia Leone
*Nu & Xi
*Norma Leone & Fiona Leone

Thanks Avi for giving me the idea for this.
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Scorpio
Grand Master Metool
Okay, here's some:

681: Do not call Toxic Seahorse a Planeteer. This will result in your acid-related death.

682: Do not dump basic soultions (bleach, ammonia, etc.) on Toxic Seahorse. After he recovers, this too will result in your acid-related death.

683: Burstgirl can not experience an acid-related death because her chemicals are bases and acids + bases = bad stuff. Instead, her breaking the two above rules will result in the confiscation of El Kabong for 6 months. It'll be a lonely 6 montes for her...

684: Do not freeze Toxic Seahorse. Hotareeca will bomb you if you do.

685: Calling Magic Man a woman or using homosexual-related slurs against him will result in 52 Magic Cards shoved in their crotch... ouch.

686: Attempting to cheat in the Red Ace casino will result in Magic Man throwing you out with several Magic Cards in your ass.

687: Do not try to out-trick Magic Man. He knows EVERY trick in the book.

688: Do not try to lock Toxic Seahorse in a soap factory. He'll find a way out and it will result in your acid-related death.

689: When Magic Man is being overly dramatic, do not point this out to him. The last person who did so woke up the next morning with eight Magic-Card wounds in his ass.

690: If you are an attractive woman, and get hit on by Magic Man, do not slap him. This will result in an endless slap fight.

691: If you are a man, DO NOT hit on Magic Man period. Read Rule 685 for the result.
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Dark_Knight
Member Avatar
Loves Cobra Omega
692: Crush Crawfish is not going to start attacking a random militar squad in the middle of the jungle, ending in a climatic duel against Arnold Schwarzenegger.

693: Well, maybe the first. But Schwarzenegger will not be there. We hope.
The Ever Obscure One™


That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.

-The Call of Cthulhu (H.P. Lovecraft)


...

Wait, wait... I wasn't supposed to do that? Wait a second, then. Here, take a look. And here, too.


Giving Cobra Omega tons of action, YEAH! :D
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REX Barron
Member Avatar
Multipurpose.
694. American football is the best sport out there because Frost Walrus says so.

695. Hornet Man =/= Bumblebee. It's a sin to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise.

696. Nothing is sacred.
THE OBLIGATORY SISTER FORUM PLUG

[size0]My characters:
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.
[size0]My NPCs:
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"I don't see myself as better than EVERYONE, but near everyone is better than YOU."
.
"Gravs gon' drop it on ya: What goes up mus' come down."
.
"Shut it now or I'm gonna KILL YOU!"
.
"All right! Time to roll out!"
.
"See ya on the highway, bud."
.
"No problem, bro! I can take care of that."
.
"You won't get a range named after you, motherfucker."
.
"What's happening, people?"/"…"
.
"Judge Tretesta Cerberean reporting! I'm here to kick some ass! Right… Like that'll solve all your problems..."
.
"You know what they say: To live is to die."
.
"Move over Grid Man, there's a new MVP in town!"
.
"Cybertron is cool, but Earth rules."

"Are you aware how lucky you are to have lived until now..."
.
"There's only so much we can do… It's better to act than to say it's not enough and stand down."
.
"I'm no hero, but if an enemy appears before me, I WILL destroy it!"


Quote:
 
Cobra Omega says:
Proof that I'm the only action I ever get.
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Shade Man
Member Avatar
I am the order within chaos...or is that the reverse?
697. Grid Man supports and enforces Rule 694.

698. Wearing Princess Pride's Lady Noir wig without her permission is punishable by her shooting you.

699. If Iota is challenged to a staring contest she can be considered the winner by blasting her opponent.

700. Do not buy Crash Man the Clapper(tm). Elec Man rigged his entire room with them once and he couldn't do anything in it for weeks until he got Metal Man to fix it.
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You got Serv'd....get it? :P
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Cobra Omega
Member Avatar
There, now you can see Guardian's various elements
701. Do not have Thornacus and Magic Man in the same room. The result might not be pretty.

702. Don't ask Thornacus why he doesn't like Magic Man, it's a death boner waiting to happen.

703. Don't ask if Craothe's gonna have a show called 'I Love Lucy'.

704. While we're on that subject, no Lucille Ball jokes around her either if she's in a earshot. Seriously, you do not want to know what it's like to have a scythe shoved up your ass.
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*Cobra Omega & Guardian
*Death ex Machina
*Emeraldo Leone & Rubalina Leone
*Craothe Lythuus & Porkler Hamalot
*Thornacus Zornillion & Gemini Machina
*Drakelor Alpha & Armarando Blitzuuga
*Cosmo Man & Solar Knight
*Leroy the Chopper Joe
*Kaiser & B.D.
*Onyxor, Adamantius, & Garnetia Leone
*Nu & Xi
*Norma Leone & Fiona Leone

Thanks Avi for giving me the idea for this.
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Saturn Ballad
Member Avatar
Jazz hands!
#705: There will be NO, repeat, NO Sailor Moon jokes near the Stardroids. Seriously. What they'll do to you will make you cry to your mother.

#706: Don't say "schizophrenia" near Hinoken, because Mr. Hinoken KNOWS that it doesn't exist.
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Lololol it's been years since I went by this username
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