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201 Things the Worst KoNA Player Can't Do
Topic Started: Aug 14 2009, 12:41 PM (4,600 Views)
Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
504. Don't ever, EVER make fanfics about Botos pairings. Or I swear by what ever God you hold dear that something VERY unpleasant will happen to you!

505. You have been warned...

506. It is wrong to tell Elpizo that he is straight, or to force him into being straight. It's just not his style.

507. Elpizo does not have a millenium eye underneath his helmet which he uses to play card games.

508. Not yet, at least...
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Cobra Omega
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There, now you can see Guardian's various elements
509. None of Cobra's characters will say 'What a horrible night to have a curse'.

510. Not yet at least.

511. Though if you do choose to have a character say that. Thank Cobra for bringing up the reference.

512. Porkler will never say 'OM NOM NOM NOM!' or 'Sandvich'.

513. Porkler is not Russian despite favoring Vodka.

514. Shade Man or Hellbat Schilt will never utter 'What is a man?! A miserable little pile of secrets!!'

515. Porkler is not Pudgey Pig.

516. Drakelor does not know how to use Photoshop. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise.
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*Cobra Omega & Guardian
*Death ex Machina
*Emeraldo Leone & Rubalina Leone
*Craothe Lythuus & Porkler Hamalot
*Thornacus Zornillion & Gemini Machina
*Drakelor Alpha & Armarando Blitzuuga
*Cosmo Man & Solar Knight
*Leroy the Chopper Joe
*Kaiser & B.D.
*Onyxor, Adamantius, & Garnetia Leone
*Nu & Xi
*Norma Leone & Fiona Leone

Thanks Avi for giving me the idea for this.
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Saturn Ballad
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Jazz hands!
517: You are NEVER allowed to make DesertMan sing "Mr. Sandman."

518: Don't threaten to make PlantMan into a salad with sliced turkey. Because that's just sick and un-vegetarian.

519: Ham is kosher, so use that.

520: Porkler, we're looking at you.
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Lololol it's been years since I went by this username
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Strider Hiryu
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.
521. Porkler is not Hamtom J. Pig, either.

522. Dallas is not a man, seriouly.

523. Chopper will never become a pompus gentlman.

524. Pluto and Tango do not like the Meow Mix Jingle, but will sing it!
Retired from Roleplaying.
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Saturn Ballad
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Jazz hands!
525: Don't put Demon and Angel Gemini together on the Jerry Springer Show, if you value your lives. EVER.

526: Same goes for Terra and Saturn.

527: Don't mention the Village People near GutsMan, FakeMan, and TomahawkMan.
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Strider Hiryu
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528. Spike is not Scrappy Doo.

529. Nor does he have a father named Sparkplug.

530. Or a son.

531. Ride Boarski did not star in Wild Hogs.

Retired from Roleplaying.
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Cobra Omega
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There, now you can see Guardian's various elements
532. Unless it is Craothe's birthday, or he's killing his bounty. Porkler will never hide in a cake

533. Even if he gets to eat it afterwards.

534. Kaiser will never shout 'I'm too sexy to die!'

535. That's Drakelor's job.

536. Don't ask any one of Cobra's characters who come from Zyroni if 'The Devil may Cry'.

537. You'll be stuck there for hours hearing about the various demons Cobra (the character) encountered.

538. Anything involving big red buttons is usually never good.

539. Unless 'big red button' is slang for--

540. 539 was not finished due to the amount of censoring that went on beyond that point.

541. Cobra, get your mind out of the gutter and get some help.
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*Cobra Omega & Guardian
*Death ex Machina
*Emeraldo Leone & Rubalina Leone
*Craothe Lythuus & Porkler Hamalot
*Thornacus Zornillion & Gemini Machina
*Drakelor Alpha & Armarando Blitzuuga
*Cosmo Man & Solar Knight
*Leroy the Chopper Joe
*Kaiser & B.D.
*Onyxor, Adamantius, & Garnetia Leone
*Nu & Xi
*Norma Leone & Fiona Leone

Thanks Avi for giving me the idea for this.
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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
542. You must not try to disable Ride Boarski or Turboman by sticking a banana in their tailpipes

543. In EITHER of their tailpipes

544. Nor can vanquish either one of them with a barrage of turtle shells (red or green), spiny shells, or fake item boxes

545. Lightning bolts are acceptable. But you can’t use them to shrink them

546. If Tenguman ever gains mental or psychic powers for ANY reason, he dies on the spot. With pain. The end.

547. Shademan and Hellbat Schilt are to stop pestering Morrigan Aensland

548. She’s already on a short fuse from all the advances Elecman made on her, and will kick the shit out of anyone who so much as touches her

549. Same goes for Lilith Aensland

550. She’s not even legal, man! Just ask Elecman.

551. Calling Skullman “Skeletor” isn’t original, nor a wise move on your part

552. Neither is calling him “Boner”

553. You’re just going to get Zeta and Thornacus worked up again

554. And Skullman is not to be subjected to the Slowest Fall in the History of Slowest Falls.

555. Magicman will not take kindly to anyone who switches out his magic cards with a deck of cards with naked chicks on them

556. …In battle, anyway

557. Under no circumstances is anyone to offer Magicman a Black Lotus

558. Anyone who challenges Magicman to game of Triple Triad will find themselves ripped to shreds

559. And on a similar note, if I see any of Cobra’s characters summon a GF, so help me…

560. No, naming them “Asspickle”, “Ms. Bukakke”, or “Firepubes” will not save you

561. And no, Avi is not your GF

562. Even if she told you otherwise

563. Botos cannot be married to an attractive red head, have a talking dog as a companion, nor father a megalomaniacal baby with a football-shaped head

564. No attractive redheads in the world would want to marry him, let alone sleep with him

565. And Rush wants absolutely nothing to do with him

566. Seriously, why hasn’t anyone killed Botos yet??

567. Oliver and Aquagirl cannot claim to be Elecman’s bastard child

568. Even if it’s 50-50 likely

569. Elecman is to be racked if he ever says the words, “Allllrigght!” or “Giggity-giggity-giggity-gooo!”

570. Dynamoman is not to menace anyone named Mr. Wilson

571. Nor can he have a stuffed tiger named, “Hobbes”

572. Axl does not have a hip, ‘80s techno theme playing in the background wherever he goes. It is wrong to tell Wreck-Gar otherwise.
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Saturn Ballad
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Jazz hands!
573: If you call any fire-based Robot Masters/Reploids "Axel", you are not allowed to run while they pour propane on you and light you on fire.

574: They may light you on fire in whichever way they would like to.

575: You shall NOT, under any circumstances, scream "THE REGULARS ARE COMING!" while riding CentaurMan into town.

576: CentaurMan is also NOT a $1 pony ride.

577: He's a $5 pony ride, get it right!
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Strider Hiryu
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578. Mutt does not do tricks.

579. He does not repsond to "Here boy!"

580. Bubbleman does not act like how that song make shim out to be.
Retired from Roleplaying.
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Metabad
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I have no pupils and I must scream.
581. Even though Botos is a failure, he MIGHT be better than Sari Sumdac, although only Spark would truly know the true answer to this.

582. That said, Botos is only allowed to live as long as he gets the shit pummeled out of him.

583. THEN he can die.

584. Scarface is NOT Jason Vorhees.
Brungalo
 
[1:54:42 AM] Brungalo says: you could say hes metabad... ASS


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Spark Mandrill
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This face will be lying in bed next to you.
And to answer #581, Botos is slightly more tolerable than Sari. He can always be proud of that. But then again, you're pretty much asking me whether I'd rather jump on bicycle with the seat missing, or jump on bicycle with the seat missing and then pee on an electric fence.


585. Whoever gave Tiesel a compass that doesn’t north must come forward

586. Seriously, you’re just going to get the poor guy lost

587. It is inappropriate to put a “We break for no one!” a bumper sticker on the back of the Bonne’s ship

588. Even if they don’t

589. Alpha cannot burrow into the center of the Earth and re-emerge in the year 1999 to cause the apocalypse

590. The year 1999 is long gone. He’s just going to look stupid.

591. Nor can Berkana use a Mammon Machine to draw power off of him to make herself immortal and all-powerful

592. Nor can she take residence in a floating black Christmas tree, or an ocean palace.

593. None of Cobra’s characters are Magus. It is wrong to tell him otherwise.

594. Adamantius, Onyxor, and Garnetia are not Ozzie, Slash, and Flea. It is wrong to tell them otherwise.

595. Iota, take that leash off of Crashman immediately

596. I don’t care if he’s your pet. You’re giving Cobra unsavory ideas

597. No, you can’t feed him puppychow from a dog dish anymore. Not while Cobra’s still active. Don’t even try

598. Whacking him with a rolled up newspaper is still acceptable.

599. We do that to Cobra all the time. Pets these days…

600. Guess what? You STILL can't play Sari Sumdac!

601. MMPU Oilman, Gravityman and Bass are not to have “Bling”

602. Anyone who refers to Diveman as “Blue October” will be met with a barrage of dive missiles

603. Anyone who shouts “Who let the dogs out?!” while Fenri Lunaedge or Blizzard Wolfang are attacking will be torn limb from limb

604. If Tau, Isoc or Weil ever enter a room saying “Good news, everyone!” or “Good news keeps coming!”, there will be plenty of bad news for them. In the form of an angry Deathtanz Mantisk.

605. Diveman and Hardman are not to be referred to as “Bender”

606. Bender is actually more sober than they are, so they would find such a comment objectionable

607. Lex Loathe is not to tap his fingers and say, “Exxxcellent…” if something his goes his way

608. Also, Spade Magnets is not to be referred to as “Smithers”

609. As comparing Spade Magnets to Smithers will only lead us in any number of wrong directions
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Strider Hiryu
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610. Spike likes women and anyone who likes him, but he will not hump your leg.

611. Nor can you torch his left eye.

612. Slashman is not a furry.

613. Shademan is not Mr. Burns. He does not own a Power Plant.

Retired from Roleplaying.
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Avi
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Puppies. <3
614. Even though it's a ~SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN FACT LOL~ that trees do not grow on mountains - especially not in a universe where we have robots who stop time and literally give people nightmares - you are, under no circumstance, to blindly deny the fact that they do indeed grow on the Maori Mountains. You'll only end up looking ridiculous.

615. Likewise, even though ~EVERYBODY KNOWS~ that there are never bars in bustling, lively cities... suck it up and accept the fact that Yashichi Valley is FILLED with 'em.

616. One shall not [do/say this] around [your character] or else [inset grisly fate of your choice here.]

617. Also, [character] shall not [insert pop culture reference loosely pertaining to the character in question here].

618. ...or else [insert idle threat from your character here].
ALPHA WON, EVERYONE GO HOME.
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Cobra Omega
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There, now you can see Guardian's various elements
619. Don't leave Cobra alone with the newspapers.

620. Otherwise he'll eat them we will have to find other things to whack him with.

621. Cobra is not allowed to refer to himself in third person.

622. Even though he constantly does it on this list.

623. Don't leave Adamantius and Death ex Machina in the same room.

624. Unless Botos is there too.
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*Cobra Omega & Guardian
*Death ex Machina
*Emeraldo Leone & Rubalina Leone
*Craothe Lythuus & Porkler Hamalot
*Thornacus Zornillion & Gemini Machina
*Drakelor Alpha & Armarando Blitzuuga
*Cosmo Man & Solar Knight
*Leroy the Chopper Joe
*Kaiser & B.D.
*Onyxor, Adamantius, & Garnetia Leone
*Nu & Xi
*Norma Leone & Fiona Leone

Thanks Avi for giving me the idea for this.
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