Ruination: The Upheaval

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Ruination: The Upheaval - Results!; Spoiler: Everybody goes 0-4 :V
Topic Started: Mar 11 2018, 02:05 AM (1,447 Views)
That Kode Guy	Mar 11 2018, 02:05 AM Post #1
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	Ruination: The Upheaval - Result Thread -------- -------- WEEK 1 LIGHTWEIGHTS DEFIANCE CONFERENCE Flash Flood vs. Ayame OH GEE, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? AN ANGLING IN CONTEST!!! AND THEY HAVE THE EXACT SAME SPEED, TRACTION, AND NUMBER OF WHEELS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!! Fuck this. I'm not writing a serious result for this match. Hold on a minute, I spoke too soon. Alex actually feinted an angle-in and *REVERSED. Too bad that allows Flash Flood to get his front end pointed back at it. MORE ANGLING IN. MORE FAKE ANGLING IN. MORE REVERSING. ARE WE HAVING FUN YET? I'M NOT. Okay so the absurdity finally comes to a halt when Ayame actually makes its reversing tactic work kinda and get under Flash Flood, flipping it. Flash Flood self-rights only to get flipped again. And Flash Flood gets flipped into a killsaw. Which separates them. Guess what? BACK TO THIS FUCKING ANGLING-IN TRASH. But not for too much longer, because time runs out. Thank merciful heaven. Aggression: 8-7 Flash Flood Damage: 8-7 Ayame Strategy: 8-7 Ayame Ayame wins a 23-22 split judges' decision. Tidal Wave II vs. Sir Morphsalot* Neon's strategy really doesn't work at all here, as Sir Morphsalot doesn't really have the speed to get to Tidal Wave's side. Tidal Wave spends pretty much the whole match punting Sir Morphsalot around the ring until the armor comes off and guts start flying. Tidal Wave II wins by knockout in 1:17. Blitz Mk. III vs. Bluebot Sorry mac, this ain't V900. :V Anyway, you know what? Blitz actually does a really good job of keeping the flipper in there. Maybe it's the fact that Ava knows he has 2 body armour and if he gets hit anywhere other than the flipper, he's completely effed. As it is, Gulden tries to attack the outside forks of Blitz and actually manages to rip one of them straight off. The problem is that Bluebot is actually unable to really attack anything else that isn't flipper. Yes, he does manage to get under the flipper quite a bit and hit it, sending Blitz flying, but Blitz recovers easily and just rams into him again. This goes on until Bluebot's beater finally stalls from Blitz ramming into it so much. Blitz tries to push Bluebot to the hammers, but unfortunately speed factors into pushing power apparently (thanks Gabe :V) so Ava is really unable to do much with that. He does get him pinned on the wall, but only for about 10 seconds, since 20 seconds were devoted to getting him to the wall in the first place. Once Blitz lets him go, Bluebot spins back up and manages to tear off the other fork completely, but that allows Blitz to move in, stall the beater again, and pin him against the wall until the clock runs out. A 2-armoured bot making it to a judges' decision? Who would have thought. Aggression: 9-6 Blitz Mk. III Damage: 15-0 Bluebot Strategy: 10-5 Blitz Mk. III Bluebot wins by a 26-19 judges' decision. Hoarfrost vs. La Valette Alex starts facing to the right, and then starts his bar such that the spinning forces nearly force him to clip the wall. A brilliant start. He still attempts to execute a running away tactic that I imagine was the goal of starting in that direction, but by this point hoarfrost slams into the Christian Crusher, takes a glancing shot on the wedge, and slams its blade into the wall. The Taoist Tripper gets flung a fair distance away, and is able to get the bar to something approaching full speed before another ram from Hoarfrost catches it straight in the face, tearing an ugly gash in the plow and sending the Zoroastrian Zipper hard into the lexan. At least that one wasn’t directly in front of me. At any rate, after taking a few more hits at decreasing levels of ouch (and a lot of La Vallete bouncing around), Laz finally manages to get the Buddhist Bouncer wedged, and pushes it under a hammer. He’s not controlling the Jew Juicer so much as just... pushing it towards the hazard, which eventually lets Alex squeak off to one side, start spinning, clip the killsaws, and go flying back into the center of the arena. And get up to speed. Laz is clearly wary now – the plow is bent 5 ways to Sunday, and can probably only take another hit or two before it goes, but hey, what else are you gonna do? He full-speed ramfoos into La Vallete, and, in a scene approaching Tombstone vs Mosquito, is thrown into the wall, while its wedge attacks some of the roof lighting. La Vallete is thrown viciously from the attack and lands nearby to Hoarfrost, and is starting to get back up to speed – but oh! Laz has tapped out! this is nearly unheard of in ARC! And... yep. Crowd is booing. Where do they even get those tomatoes? Oh. There’s also rocks. Oh. Now they’re thowing life-size replicas of Razer. I don’t even know what’s happening any more. La Vallete wins by TKO in 1:22 Nervous Wedge Boy vs. The Servant's Assistant 4 I've already written a Kody vs. Lian fight this week, now I have to write a Lian fight with Kody pretending to be Lian! Help! And I'm not really a fan of trying to come up with creative ways of describing two bricks crashing into each other a bunch. I guess what makes the difference here is that Nervous Wedge Boy seems to think he can flank a bot that has almost completely identical drive stats as his own. Yeah good luck with that buddy. And since he didn't seem to bother too much with any real plan outside of flanking, let's just say that Servant's Assistant has a LOT more luck wedging, ramming, and slamming Nervous Wedge Boy around. Walls? Check. Saws? Check. Hammers? Surprisingly not. Okay I'm just kidding. Of course check. I will say that Nervous Wedge Boy did wedge Servant's Assistant a couple times, but other than that this was all SA4. Aggression: 11-4 Servant's Assistant 4 Damage: 14-1 Servant's Assistant 4 Strategy: 13-2 Servant's Assistant 4 Servant's Assistant 4 wins 38-7 Mushroom Cloud vs. GREEN BRICK Shoutouts to Simpleflips. Aggression: Penis Damage: Dank Memes Strategy: playzooki would be proud Mushroom Cloud "wins" by a score of Weed. Just weed. Or if you want to be technical, 45-0. Just pretend to roll 45 blunts. Witness Me vs. Eat Me Too Lol mole decided not to RP even though he would have totally won this match. Oh well. So I guess the match starts and Eat Me Too goes to the corner of the arena, it consumes a power pellet and wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka Witness Me turns blue runs away from Eat Me Too. Wakkaing continues up until EMT touches WM once, who then proceeds to turn into a pair of eyes and float out of the arena. Eat Me Too wins by KO in wakka:wakka. VENGEANCE CONFERENCE The Thieving Magpie vs. Experiment 626 Brick vs. brick, so you know what to expect. Plenty of pushy pushy, clever driving, and not a great deal happening of any significant consequence. 626 is able to drive Magpie back a few times, while Magpie scores a couple of decent flips in retaliation. It's a drivefest, though, with the audience going "ooh" a few times. Some applause after the buzzer, though, perhaps they enjoyed the tension and skill on display. Aggression: 8-7 Experiment 626 Damage: 8-7 The Thieving Magpie Strategy: 8-7 Experiment 626 Expriment 626 wins by 23-22 Anti-Virus vs. Dr. Robotnik AV pretty much owns the match, making Dr. Robotnik eat plow-then shoving him into the corner pulverizers. Hey, what do you know? These arena hazards actually do damage! Robotnik starts limping around the 2:00 mark and Anti-Virus isn't missing a beat. One more shove into the hammers seems to do the 'good' Doctor in. Anti-Virus wins via KO in 2:44! HIRricaine vs. Cream I’m honestly really tempted to let HIRricaine’s charge of the valkyri attempt work here, but unfortunately he just gets smacked away by a full speed cream. He tries to recover quickly, but his extra traction point is offset by the fact that he’s a mecanum bot that just got hit by a 16 power spinner. admittedly Cream isn’t doing much better, and the next hit is only at something approaching its full speed, as it appears to have only just gotten back into control. It’s still a gigiantic WHUMP as both go flying again. It looks like HIRricaine just lost a chunk of a tooth, and one of cream’s weird hinged tooth things is dragging on the ground as it appears to be attempting to spin back up. Neither of these things are exactly stable any more, but they both eventually line up for another smasher of a hit – and HOLY FUCK My life just flashed before my eyes in a way its hasn’t since before they locked me in this announcer’s booth ladies and gentlemen. That’s one of Cream’s teeth. Right in front of me. Embedded an inch into the lexan. JESUS. So anyway that happened. Looks like HIRriMcCain managed to hit the same tooth on cream it loosened last time, and it just snapped right off. Both bots are... somehow still moving, but we’re gonna pause this one until we replace that piece of the wall. [one repair later] Aaaaand we’re back. well, you’re back. I’m still stuck here. please send help. anywho they both spin up again, with an excessively unhappy noise coming out of Pyro’s ring spinner. Cream is probably really unstable right now, but it’s kinda hard to tell how much more it is than usual tbh. They eventually smack into each other again, a hit that leaves HIRricaine’s ring suspiciously not-move-ey. Cream also seems worse for wear – turns out driving a melty with the most overcomplicated drive system possible was probably a poor idea – but hey, both are still moving. They hit again, and HIRricaine, as expected, sees its ring demolished. Cream bounces into 4 more walls, and eventually lands, but is now VERY erratic – one of the wheel...things... looks to have finally given out. as it kind circle limps towards HIRricaine, though, it becomes clear that that is not the biggest problem here. Mostly because HIRricaine is now on fire. But also the match just ran out of time. PRANKT Aggression: 8-7 HIRricaine Damage: 9-6 Cream Control: 8-7 HIRricaine Your winner, in a 23-22 decision, is Cream! Pinstripe vs. Nick's Fuzzy Rules Nick's Fuzzy Rules is looking to plow right into Pinstripe, but Pinstripe isn't shying away (not that he'd get too far anyway). CRASH! The spinner on Pinstripe makes solid contact with the front of NFR and knocks him away. You can see a bit of an indentation mark on the front of NFR where the weapon hit, but it's more cosmetic than anything else. The first half or so of the fight kinda proceeds along the same lines. Pinstripe is able to use his shifty mobility to keep NFR from simply smothering him. Pinstripe gets in a fair number of shots, but can only do so much against NFR's armor. It takes awhile before even a small breakthrough on the armor is made, but it's nothing that is of any immediate concern to NFR. Around the 2 minute mark, NFR finally manages to wedge Pinstripe into a corner and Pinstripe suffers a few savage looking hits from the hazard. Once Pinstripe is able to get out of the corner, he keeps clear of any more hazard damage for the rest of the fight and get in a couple more hits of his own, but NFR gets the last laugh by pinning him against the wall for the last 10 seconds or so. Aggression: 10-5 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Damage: 9-6 Pinstripe Strategy: 9-6 Pinstripe Pinstripe wins 23-22 Exotherm vs. Ramshock If you think about it, Exotherm itself is basically an anti-wedge. So what does putting an anti-wedge on an anti-wedge do? Well unfortunately we don't really get a chance to figure it out because Ramshock manages to outjuke Exotherm when the Yellow Alert spinner tries manoeuvre around Ramshock, and slam Exotherm into the wall. Pat does a great job of outcontrolling Nick and manages to get in a lot of slams and hazard damage. He does manage to slip up a few times though, and after some hits from Exotherm's bar, that lifter is looking pretty damaged. Nonetheless, Ramshock takes Exotherm on a trip to the killsaws to end the fight. Aggression: 12-3 Ramshock Damage: 11-4 Exotherm Strategy: 9-6 Ramshock Ramshock wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. White Lightning vs. Yellow Buzzard You know, I love how ambiguous Drew's RP is. It's almost like he's forgotten that he has a thwack. So much so that I can't figure out if he's actually using it or not. Either way, you still have a body armour of 5 because that's your lowest body armour value after your plow's armour bonus. Which you may or may not even be using here? Wait, it's not using either set-up? But that means... ow, my head. Regardless, White Lightning comes out and immediately gets under Yellow Buzzard. He tries to flip but unfortunately with such a ludicrously underpowered flipper Yellow Buzzard is only shunted backwards off the flipper. What does Bob do? He goes right in again. Oh hey, he actually gets under this time. Flip. White Lightning is inverted, and it's a nice treat too since having neither set-up on reduced White Lightning's weight quite a bit. White Lightning zooms off to self-right but Yellow Buzzard isn't really a slouch, and the new speed rule seems to benefit Bob more as, whilst Drew can right his robot (with a 1-power flipper... fuck off Venice Queen :V), Bob is able come right back in and flip him again before Drew can do anything about it. Worse, they're near the wall now, so Drew's escape options are lamentable. More flipping from Bob, and now they're under the hammer. POW! White Lightning takes a few hits and he's already looking pretty bad. But he escapes. From there, however, it starts to turn into the Drew (Carey) show as White Lightning uses its forks to consistently get under Yellow Buzzard and throw him around the arena. As time winds down, however, Yellow Buzzard gets the last laugh by throwing the 10 speed robot over again as White Lightning mistimes a flip, and barely misses being cut into by the killsaws. Who has this? Aggression: 11-4 White Lightning Damage: 14-1 Yellow Buzzard Strategy: 10-5 White Lightning Yellow Buzzard wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Electric Agression vs. The Most Descpiable and Disastrous Twins Maybe someone needs to clue me in on a reference I'm missing because I wouldn't have expected TBR to not know how to spell aggression. I would also like to mention that I'm particularly amused by after all those times I made a point about Klarinette's antennae and Lian forgetting to mention they are removable and it potentially causing some inversion issues, Trihunter has not only gone out of his way to mention Joon's hat, but to make point that it ISN'T a cosmetic item removed before the match and he isn't sure if it will cause any issues during inversion! Oh yeah, I have to write results, not critiques. So Joon and Shion's plan seems to be having Shion lead the charge (presumably since it can actually charge) while Joon holds back a bit and is focusing on spinning up. EA (unfortunate abbreviation, but I refuse to intentionally misspell “aggression” over and over again) wants nothing to do with Shion and makes the best of his speed advantage to swoop around the approaching wedge and make a beeline for the thwackbot. CRASH! An impressive looking shot as EA is knocked back a bit and Joon goes bouncing off the nearest wall. Shion is trying to hunt down EA, but can't reach before EA has grabbed Joon in its jaws. EA muscles Joon to the saws, which grind away at Joon throwing off sparks. Shion slams into EA and generates enough force to get Joon off the saws, but not out of EA's clutches. EA swings the captive Joon around and is trying to bat Shion away with her own partner! It's a pretty cool visual and kinda works. At least enough to give EA a few more seconds to grind Joon on the saws. Shion changes things up a little bit and rams EA from behind and now it's EA that takes some hazard action. However EA makes the most of things by getting on the other side of the saws and Shion has to try to swing around to the other end. Meanwhile Joon has been almost completely neutralized in this fight. As Shion moves around, EA suddenly decides to drag Joon across the arena to the other saws. An exasperated Shion moves to keep pace, but can't prevent more saw action on Joon. Shion does manage a couple more saving slams against EA, but can't ever really get Joon free enough to try spinning up. All in all this fight probably wins the award for most time spent at or near the killsaws in history. Aggression: 8-7 Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins Damage: 12-3 Electric Agression Strategy: 11-4 Electric Agression Electric Agression wins 30-15 ---- MIDDLEWEIGHTS ANNIHILATION CONFERENCE Harpy vs. Biological Warfare Honestly I think Syl would have had better luck trying to push the lifter into the ground and get under Harpy's ABR plow this fight. But nope, Syl raises the lifter and goes at Harpy, but the drum fails to do anything of consequences to Harpy's plow. Conversely, Harpy pretty much takes Biological Warfare on a grand tour of the arena and seriously messes him up even with that decent 9 armour. And that's pretty much how the match goes, I'm afraid. Biological Warfare is able to j-hook away a few times but Harpy's drivetrain is good enough to avoid getting smacked on the side and the poor green bot ends the fight stuck underneath the hammer. Aggression: 12-3 Harpy Damage: 10-5 Harpy Strategy: 12-3 Harpy Harpy wins by a 34-11 judges' decision. Kid A vs. Instigator Instigator wins by FF. Sundancer vs. The Maw Let’s be real, a hammer mounted directly in the middle of a robot doesn’t actually have that great of range. Most of this match is spent with Sundancer stuck somewhere vaguely on top of THE MAW, courtest of him launching himself in the air every time he swings the hammer. Laz is definitely trying to flank, but he can’t really make up a speed disadvantage with some fancy driving skills. Not to mention that without an opponent on a wedge to counterbalance the force of his hammer, he’s wasting a lot of the energy of the hammer, and not actually doing that much when he does get hits in. eventually he turns around and starts using the plow, to some larger amount of success when he gets under. THE MAW is definitely driving funny towards the end of the match, and eventually the weapon gets stuck in the out position. Aggression: 8-7 THE MAW Damage: 10-5 Sundancer Control: 9-6 THE MAW Your winner, in a 23-22 decision, is Sundancer! Diablo Genesis vs. Stingray So, after firing his harpoon, Nick has the better wedge. 2WD, all of the weight resting on a small point. Drew drives Diablo Genesis right up onto it and gets pushed around, j-hooking away. This pattern repeats itself a few times. Drew tries pressing his lifter, but that much weight focused on a single point still makes Stingray’s ‘wedge’ a bit better. Diablo gets shoved into the hammers a couple of times, and the bars on its clamp take some warping. However, Drew eventually clues into the sheer amount of oversteer that Stingray is suffering from, and is able to mount a comeback by forcing Stingray to turn repeatedly. Diablo is able to angle in on the very narrow wedge of its punching bar and even get a clamp in. High-centered, Stingray is slowly but surely dragged to one of the hammers itself, where it is more or less pinned for the duration of the pin timer, taking multiple shots. Following this, its bar seems to be stuck in the ‘fired’ position, which isn’t a huge deal, since it still wins the wedge exchanges where it doesn’t oversteer, but taking that kind of damage doesn’t look good with the judges. Aggression: 8-7 Stingray Damage: 9-6 Diablo Genesis Strategy: 9-6 Stingray Stingray wins a 23-22 judges’ decision. G.B.J. vs. Lulver Oh boy, a match where neither bot can actually damage each other with their obviously damage-dependent weapons. This should be... """fun""". At least one of the bots has a BEES-tier speed:traction disparity that I can make fun of. Lulver declines the option of sliding under GBJ's wedge 100% of the time by starting the match upside down. Fair enough. GBJ just kind of, uh, sits there. The more aggressive of the two spinners drives about 3/4ths across the arena floor before Homosexual Infant Prison decides to make a move, zipping forward, getting Lulver under the dustpan, and then doing some weird Tokyo Drift bullshit that doesn't really work out and just makes GBJ eat ass in a cool-looking way, rather than the standard "sawbot isn't wide/fast/controlled enough to aim weapon, gets smacked to the side". Of course, with nearly brick-level armor, Lesbian Underage Penitentiary doesn't take a whole ton of damage. It does, however, get slapped a considerable distance away. If you thought that riveting exchange was exciting, then strap on your seatbelts kiddies because this keeps happening for pretty much the entire match. GBJ moves in, tries to trap Lulver, fails, gets whacked, repeat for another 2 or 3 minutes. There's this one time where GBJ miraculously gets the saw down on Lulver's underside, but lets be honest, noone cares mate. "Slice a nice big slit in its top", yeah right. 2 damage isn't putting nice big slits in anything unless you have all day to spend doing so. Lulver only really manages to buckle the side arms of it's opponent too, which have barely anything important inside them. Snore. Lets go to those gay idiots we call judges: Aggression: 9-6 Lulver Damage: 10-5 Lulver Strategy: 8-7 GBJ Lulver wins by a 26-19 judge's decision. Magnolia Pico vs. Eye of n00t Why the fuck did you put in a tryhard RP for a joke team bot. well at any rate, Magnolia spends most of the match recovering from recoil, and the flips he does get in don’t really do that much since he’s facing a full body drum. Aggression: 8-7 Magnolia Magnifico Damage: 9-6 Eye of N00t Control: 8-7 Eye of N00t Your winner, by a 24-21 Judge’s decision, is Eye of N00t. now let’s throw some more tomatoes at Laz :V Magica vs. Harbinger Hurray? More vague RPs? So is Jake using the anti-hammer plate or not? I'd assume not, since Harbinger isn't a hammer. But then why does Josh assume Magica is dead while inverted? AAARGH!! Well let's see here. Harbinger certainly does want to assume. ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL, that is. The problem is that Magica's mecanum tracks actually have a very decent traction value behind them to aid the robot's overall speed, so Josh's angling in tactic doesn't work half as well as he'd want it to. He does manage to get into the headlights on Magica's flipper quite a few times, but Magica actually fires the flipper there. In those cases Harbinger's wedge, while on an axle, is thrown up so far it actually throws the bot backwards quite a bit, so Harbinger doesn't manage to get in there too much. On the other hand, Magica isn't really able to solidly land a flip on Harbinger and get him over onto his back so I guess this match is for the dogs? Not quite. About halfway through the match Harbinger starts getting bored of trying to win a wedge battle he's not winning at all and goes full thwack. Unfortunately the angle of Magica's wedge makes this incredibly hard to pull off and a few failed attempts later Magica is able to get that flip on Harbinger that it wanted, completely turning the match in its favour. Without the use of its own wedge, Harbinger is now reduced purely to thwackbot status and its flails around trying to make anything of use with it, allowing Magica to throw it around the arena for the duration of the match. Aggression: 8-7 Magica Damage: 9-6 Magica Strategy: 8-7 Magica Magica wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. REVOLUTION CONFERENCE Remi IV vs. Patchouli FIGHT OF THE WEEK - see next post. Metal 2 vs. WhipCoil Wait, box rush instead of bot rush? Send for the man, Pat's finally gone off the deep end! I keep forgetting that Metal 2 is Pat's bot that looks more like some kind of stripped and worn down rotor than an actual spinner. It's just as well that he's planning on going insane for this fight because only in his own mind could Metal 2 pose a threat to Whipcoil's plow. Metal 2 lurches toward Whipcoil like the gray, amorphous blob that it is, and then 1 second later Whipcoil has already ram-foo'd his blurry looking ass straight into the wall. And Whipcoil keeps ramming him over and over again, possibly in the hopes of squashing Metal 2 into a rather drab looking layer of paint on the wall. My favorite highlight of the fight was Whipcoil spearing Metal 2 straight through the extended killsaws. The absolute wanton destruction to the arena! That's also what pretty much ended the fight. WhipCoil wins by KO in 1:22 Plata O Plomo vs. Lupi Oh man, I have to do a Kody vs. Lian fight already? So Kody's plan is to try and tank the hit dead on center on the plow. That's probably a good idea, and probably a plan that would work better if Plata was more than 1 point faster and Lian wasn't going out of his way to prevent Plata hitting the dead center of the plow. So out lumbers Lupi, its spinning teeth a nearly imperceptible blur, and out charges POP (no not Pissed off Poltergeist, Plata O Plomo!). Once POP gets close to Lupi, Kody tries to take careful aim, but Lupi is more or less able to swerve in either direction to to keep POP from lining up dead-center. Lupi finally manages a strike after about 10 seconds or so of this posturing. I guess you could call it a glancing blow, but even a glancing blow from a 14 powered weapon looks pretty damn impressive. There's a noticeable gash on the edge of POP's flipper, but it doesn't seem to have caused any damage to the flipper firing mechanism itself, so that's a sigh of relief from Kody. As for Lupi, the spinner finds itself careening violently towards the wall, and only just manages to hold off crashing into it by a foot or so. Lian tries to get his bots weapon spinning, but before Lupi gets back to full power, POP has finished the job of slamming it into the wall and gives it a flip for good measure! Lupi is sent sky high into the air and bounces off the wall. Unfortunately Lupi lands close enough to the saws for POP to nudge the spinner over the hazard. Lupi soon finds itself airborne from a flip again, but somewhat luckily, on the other side of the saws, giving it time to recover before POP can pursue. This leads us back to the slow paced staredown we had at the start, with Lupi again managing an off center attack, this time on the other side. It's a slightly more direct hit and as such, leaves a bigger gash, but POP is still relatively okay. Also lucky for Lupi was the fact that it went off more towards the center of the arena instead of the wall, giving it more breathing room to get back up to speed. POP is being as cautious as it can, and finally manages to more or less accomplish the goal of the dead-center hit tanking (still gets a nice cut for its effort though) and bounces Lupi against the wall again. This gives POP the chance to land a couple nice flips, directing the spinner towards the corner, and it flips Lupi on top of the hammer! Not quite what Kody had in mind. It probably saves Lupi's life though as it ends up jostled away from the corner and manages to get back up to speed. Lupi lands more shot on one of the damaged corners that seems to finally disable the flipper entirely, but POP still has the ability to at least shove Lupi against a wall for a few moments before the buzzer ends the fight. Aggression: 12-3 Plata o Plomo Damage: 11-4 Lupi Strategy: 9-6 Lupi Lupi wins 23-22 Mole Butcher vs. The Magpie Effect Neither bot has a clear advantage in this match, but Magpie Effect's drum does get some good hits on Mole Butcher. MB, in turn, uses its massive amount of torque and shoves ME into the killsaws, damaging its left-side wheels. ME limps around, but is still considered mobile. MB doesn't have good control of its lifter/clamper and is unable to capitalize. One more direct hit from Magpie Effect ends up immobilizing Mole Butcher. The Magpie Effect wins via KO in 2:28! Marauder vs. Heaven Jaws 3 Green means go! Both bots jump out at the start, looking to get under the other for a quick kill. Mystic tries to angle Heaven Jaws into Marauder, looking for the killer crush, but the bot skids out of his control, letting Marauder come in and flip! Luckily for Heaven Jaws, it lands in a way where its wheels are touching the ground, so it attempts to reverse into the wall and right itself. Marauder is right there, though, and he's not going to let him do that so easily! Marauder gets underneath while Heaven Jaws tries to right itself and brings it over to the pulverizer! One, two, three shots with the hammer before Marauder is told to back off, and it looks like those hammer hits did some damage to Heaven Jaws! There's a noticable dent in the bottom of the chassis now. It still seems mobile, though, and so it tries once again to right itself. It just barely succeeds, and Mystic is able to get a lucky angle on Marauder's wedge as it returns to the fray! Marauder quickly backs off of the wedge, using its high rear ground clearance, but that jaw comes down right as he's about to escape and pierces the center of Marauder's flipping wedge! This gives Heaven Jaws a nice grip, but Marauder has the traction and torque needed to use this as an opportunity to bring Heaven Jaws right back over to the hammer! Heaven Jaws quickly releases, but still eats a hit from the hammer for its trouble. Marauder backs off the wedge and angles underneath once again, this time flipping Heaven Jaws once again. This time, it lands on its side, with no wheels touching the ground. While Mystic scrambles to right his machine, Marauder comes in with another flip, quickly driving the inverted Heaven Jaws under the hammer once again! Hammer shots rain down on the battered white wedge, and this time it seems to have given up the ghost. Marauder wins by KO at 2:48. Glitch vs. Clown Recluse Long story short, this fight is really cagey. Gabe’s looking for the perfect hit, since he knows that he loses weapon to weapon, and he puts his speed to use in…running away, but also occasionally running towards HFL to be sure. Clown Recluse starts out horizontal and Glitch depresses its blade and goes for those juicy weapon supports. HFL’s response is to immediately start transitioning to vertical to force a weapon-to-weapon contact and Gabe decides that discretion is the better part of valour. This repeats a couple of times, with Clown Recluse charging at Glitch in each instance. Finally, the game of brinkmanship comes to a head when Glitch experiences some wheel spin while retreating from another contact, and the two weapons meet. Given the weird angles that they’re at, both robots go flying in…interesting directions. And despite an odd noise momentarily coming from Glitch, both weapons seem to be working after the big hit. Realizing that HFL’s angling his spinner tactic is going to continue to stymie him, Gabe holds his nose and tries angling, which Clown Recluse responds to by going vertical. However, the transition isn’t immediate, and Glitch actually manages to clip a corner of the weapon supports, warping the frame and sending Clown Recluse spinning away. Luckily for HFL, the weapon is still attached and functional, and Clown Recluse is able to go vertical. Glitch tries getting around its blade, but doesn’t have quite the speed advantage of precision control to pull it off. With about twenty seconds left, some oversteer leaves it exposed and Clown Recluse is able to tear off a wheel. It finishes the fight aggressively trying to follow up on this. Aggression: 10-5 Clown Recluse Damage: 8-7 Glitch Strategy: 8-7 Clown Recluse Clown Recluse wins a 25-20 judges’ decision. Raus Mk. IV vs. Killing Intent It's the first match of Ruination: The Upheaval! I don't care if I list them in order of weight classes! So nyah! Anyway, the box is locked, the lights are on, IT'S ROBOT FIGHTIN' TIME!!! So our two newcomers to the Ruination series, GuldenFlame and Avalanche, are fighting it out in the Middleweight class so let's get to it! So Killing Intent already knows he can't outwedge his opponent from the front, and wisely tries avoiding said front of Raus. Raus sees this, and... turns off the drum? Well okay. It does help him turn a little better, anyway, so perhaps there was a point to that. Even so, Killing Intent manages to angle in just a teensy bit and by-pass the wedge. This tilts Raus' front end up, but his wheels are still on the ground so he manages to back out of trouble before Killing Intent can line-up the wedge properly, or bring the pecker down. Ooo-err. With that, Raus' drum hums to life again but Killing Intent has made it abundantly clear that he's not aiming for anything other than the side of Raus so off goes the drum again. We get a few moments like the above, where Killing Intent continues to get under Raus but is unable to do anything with those moments, and then Raus actually manages to catch Killing Intent. Wedge? Check. Drum? Uh... it appears to be blocked by Killing Intent's wedge, so it can't spin up. Hilariously enough, Killing Intent's wheels at the back are off the ground. It appears close, but they're definitely about an inch off the ground. With that, Raus begins to push Killing Intent towards a killsaw. Killing Intent finally uses the hammer, since Raus' drum isn't spinning, but a 2-power hammer against 6-armour body is not achieving much. What it does achieve is bumping Killing Intent slightly, but enough for his rear wheels to connect with the ground, and he suddenly scoots away. Unfortunately they're near the killsaws, so Killing Intent backs into them accidentally. Good thing he has oodles and oodles of armour, so they don't do too much to him at all. However, he now has another thing to worry about. Raus' drum is spinning again, and this time it doesn't look like he's going to turn it off. Killing Intent, for all intents (HAHA!) and purposes, refuses to give up on his strategy and persists in aiming for the sides. He does have marginally better luck than before thanks to Raus' slight gyrodancing, but it soon proves to be a problem. As Killing Intent tries to sneak under again, Raus gets caught gyro'ing more than he thought, but it turns out well because Killing Intent knocks him away and he lands to the axebot's side. Raus pushes forward, but Killing Intent is already cursing its mistake and backing the fuck up. What happens is that Raus manages to catch the front right wheel and smack Killing Intent into the air, knocking him onto his back. Killing Intent doesn't have time to fully right itself before Raus comes in again, and this time the collision is quite spectacular; Raus caught the wheel on the other side as Killing Intent was in the middle of righting itself, up on the tip of its wedge, and shot Killing Intent through the air, coming to the rest directly before one of the pulverizers. Damn! Of course, Killing Intent has still taken barely any damage but he's still shaken up somewhat. Raus still isn't giving Killing Intent any chance to breathe, so the axebot resumes its tired tactic of trying to get around the drum. Its wheels have some pieces taken out of them but are otherwise fine. For the most part, Killing Intent is still succeeding in his tactic, but the problem is that he's really not managing to do much with it, whereas earlier Raus took him for a ride with just one opportunity. And that, my friends, is where the match ends as the buzzer goes off to close it out. Now who won this contest? Aggression: 8-7 Killing Intent Damage: 9-6 Raus Mk. IV Strategy: 8-7 Killing Intent By a split score of 23-22, Raus Mk. IV wins the judges' decision.
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Mar 11 2018, 01:04 PM Post #2
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 1 (continued) HEAVYWEIGHTS REDEMPTION CONFERENCE Sinmill vs. Flashback ~~Razorback~~ rushes Sinmill right away and, yes, that wedge protecting Flashback's disk does deflect Sinmill's blade. The problem is that Sinmill is able to turn easily with that third wheel and while Flashback is faster, it manages to expose it's side to that triple-edged blade. One hit is all it takes to send Flashback's side (and some internals) spraying across the arena. Your winner via KO in 1:04, is Sinmill! Hazardous Waste Removal vs. Lunatic Udonge I swear to god Trihunter one of these days I'll get a fight of yours where you're going to regret keeping this goofy cosmetic stuff on your bot during a fight. Unfortunately HWR isn't really in position to take advantage, so it'll have to wait I guess. HWR comes out in overcutter mode, ostensibly hoping to go over the top of the ABR plow, but I just don't think he has quite enough height on the blade. Anyway, HWR gives no fucks about going up against a brick and comes out as quick as it can. It doesn't hurt that LU is on the slow side for bricks. Somewhat surprisingly, LU isn't really doing too much except waiting for HWR to come in for an attack. It isn't until HWR gets close that LU finally decides to do something, and begins to strafe to attempt to maneuver around HWR's disc. Shockingly enough, a 1 point speed advantage and starting from essentially a cold stop isn't enough to avoid eating a faceful of disc. Of course the plow has absurd armor so there's almost no visable damage, but the hit does send LU spiraling away. LU only just manages to get the plow pointed back in HWR's direction before the spinner closes in for the next hit. LU is still getting bullied around the arena. After a couple more hits HWR finally gets the big breakthrough it was waiting for and gets to a dazed LU before rammer can get the plow in position and it loses a big chunk off one of its wheels. This has enough of a crippling effect that HWR is able to attack the more vulnerable chassis and puts the rammer down. Hazardous Waste Removal wins by KO in 2:09 Dysprosinator vs. Wedgelord Argh. This would have been much closer, but unfortunately the "2WD tracks" thing rears its ugly head here for poor TBR. Brad was afraid of it at first, but the first angle in lets Wedgelord get completely under Dysprosinator and throw him into a wall. Pin, pin, pin... okay, your 30 seconds are up. Unfortunately Dysprosinator has little luck after. He tries to go head on but his opponent is firm about angling in and when your forks are very small like Dysprosinator's, you don't have too much of a say. Wedgelord continues to get its licks in, though avoiding hazards for some reason. Oh well, it's not like they were needed here. Finally Dysprosinator actually manages to get under Wedgelord... at the end of the match. And Wedgelord escaped anyway. Whoops. Aggression: 9-6 Wedgelord Damage: 10-5 Wedgelord Strategy: 12-3 Wedgelord Wedgelord wins by a 31-14 judges' decision. Devil's Verdict vs. Neglected Waterbug N-Dubs, as I will refer to the drum/flipper armed bot henceforth, manages to control the majority of the fight, often out-pronging DV's dustpan and kicking it over with the drum. DV is able to self-right quickly, however, and manages to escape before N-Dubs can take it anywhere besides the walls. The dustpan survives the attacks well, and a couple of well-driven clamps late on provide a shower of sparks which the colour levelling program is quite angry about. For all the visuals, DV appears to have only removed some paint from its opponent, although it's more than N-Dubs has done. The drum gets in a final hit, and DV self-rights just after the buzzer sounds. Aggression: 8-7 Neglected Waterbug Damage: 9-6 Devil's Verdict Strategy: 10-5 Neglected Waterbug By a 24-21 decision, Neglected Waterbug is your winner! Flandre Scarlett vs. Cutthroat Ugh. I hate to say it, Ava, but box rushing something when you have barely more speed than it is not going to end in a good time for you. Even worse when your opponent can potentially OHKO you. Despite all this, Cutthroat actually manages to last a while, taking a few shots to the front of the lifter. He does shockingly manage to stall Flandre's weapon and get it against the wall, but the angle that he has Flandre at does not allow him much lifting room at all, and Flandre falls off the lifter and begins to spin up again. The next time they meet, Flandre manages to catch the edge of the lifter and tear a great chunk of it off. Successive hits spin Cutthroat around again and again while systematically removing more pieces of the lifter, and soon it's all gone. Another hit pretty much kills Cutthroat. Oh wait, he was playing dead. SMASH. Now he's actually dead. Flandre Scarlett wins by a knockout in 2:21. Duck King vs. Chad the Inhaler This fight is dumb and I'm not wasting too much time talking about how Duck King slides around everywhere instead of being able to try and wedge Chad. On the rare occasions Duck King manages to (intentionally) drive towards Chad, Chad avoids it easily and slams Duck King around. Just imagine 3 minutes of this nonsense. Control matters people! Aggression: LOL Damage: who cares Strategy: n/a Chad the Inhaler wins by clownstomp Narsiccistic Hot-Shot vs. America Offline Yeah this is just a case of a better wedge on NHS and no way for Syl to counter being flipped like a pancake for the whole round. Doesn’t really help that their hammer isn’t doing that much to the Hotshot, either. Aggression: 9-6 NHS Damage: 8-7 NHS Control: 10-5 NHS Your winner, in a 27-18 decision, is Narcissistic Hotshot mk III! RECKONING CONFERENCE Klarinette vs. Dreadnought Mk 3 THE BRICKS, MAN. THE BRICKS. NOBODY BEATS THE BRICK. Wait, what? I'll give this an attempt. Klarinette, looking for an ARC-first 4th-time crown, is going to get all up in Dreadnought's face. Dreadnought looks a TINY bit tentative as it kind of mirrors the aggression of Klarinette but moves off to the corner. Klarinette keeps facing him, and suddenly Dreadnought *REVERSES... only to find that Klarinette didn't take the bait at all. Oops. Dreadnought actually does go after the corner this time, and Klarinette pounces, cutting him off and getting the scoop under. Dreadnought tries to REVERSE* away but the lifter is a little too quick and over goes Dreadnought. Dreadnought self-rights immediately, but Klarinette pretty much denies any opportunityn to do anything else by diving under and shoving Dreadnought under the pulverizer. Pow! Pow! Pow! Dreadnought takes some hits but shrugs them off, and the last hit knocks him away from Klarinette. Eager to make up for lost time, Dreadnought is immediately under the side of Klarinette and flips her over. Without her wedge Klarinette is reduced to moving around on her back while trying to self-right, and Dreadnought makes tracks for her, trying to herd her to the killsaws. Well it kind of works - Dreadnought gets under and flings Klarinette onto them, but the saws scratch against the raised lifter and punt her across the arena. Good thing Klarinette's armour value is quite robust. At any rate this has had the effect of putting Klarinette in a position where she can get her lifter down properly now. So we return to Dreadnought trying to get around Klarinette and not really achieving much. Around the last 10 seconds, Klarinette takes advantage of Dreadnought's *REVERSING* and flips him over again with an average speed lift. Dreadnought self-rights again and that's the match. Aggression: 8-7 Klarinette Damage: 8-7 Klarinette Strategy: 9-6 Klarinette Klarinette wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. Malacoda vs. Mr. Bight Sky Honestly, this fight kinda goes down the drain for Pat. The second Bight Sky stops its box rush, Malacoda moves in and gets a direct hit when Pat tries to angle in. Malacoda gets several, several hits in a row while Bight Sky is trying to right itself, and finally manages to get away when a stray hit knocks him back onto his wheels. Unfortunately the exact same thing happens again and Malacoda continues to get hit after hit after hit, and eventually all the hits actually knock something out of Mr. Bight Sky. Malacoda wins by a knockout in 2:03. Redemption Denied vs. Micro Cuts Redemption Denied wins by FF. Magnolia Grande vs. Nyam Nyam Nya Oh well. parts of Nyam Nyam Nya are sprayed everywhere You tried, Jamie. Magnolia Grande wins by a knockout in 0:32. Infrared vs. Death Metal And we're off! Both bots get up to speed as the fight begins, and it seems they more or less have the same strategy: Kill the other one to death. Infrared gets the better of the first exchange, flinging Death Metal into the air! DM lands right-side up though, and it's able to retaliate with a nasty shot to the side of Infrared's drum! This leaves a nice gouge in the side of the drum support, but it seems to still be more or less intact. Another shot from Infrared throws DM into the air once again, and this time it lands a little badly, kicking the ground with the blade and throwing itself on its side, a trademark of this kind of design. Nick gives Danielle no chance to recover from this, coming in and delivering a direct hit to Death Metal's chassis, tearing off the bottom armor plate and letting guts fly! Death Metal, miraculously, is still going, however, and it lands in a way that its guts land back inside the bot! The crowd is screaming, and Death Metal spins up its blade again! The two collide in one more explosive hit, and parts fly everywhere! When the dust clears, it seems that Infrared has lost one of its two drum supports, and the drum is no longer connected fully to the chassis. However, Death Metal is no longer moving at all, with batteries flung every which way in the arena. What a fight! Infrared wins by KO at 1:25. Charybdis vs. Meanstreak Fun fact: strafing to avoid things tends to work a lot better when the other guy can't move 4 times as fast as you can. I bring this up to say that Charybdis moves out at an angle, but he might as well just went straight at Meanstreak for all the benefit it gave him. As a corollary of this, Meanstreak is continuously able to use his monstrous drive advantage to effectively nullify any attempts Charybdis makes to get around to the edges of the drum. This isn't to say that Meanstreak is escaping every drum vs thwack hit consequence free. Bits of drum teeth are knocked off each time, however the overall damage done is nothing too dire. Conversely, Charybdis is pinballed around the arena so spectacularly, one might have thought this was a Rooster Teeth fight. On the plus side, this does make it difficult for Meanstreak to really pin down Charybdis under a hazard. So by and large, Laz had to settle with knocking the thwackbot around instead of really getting a chance to put some serious damage on him. This is pretty much how the entire fight goes. Aggression: 15-0 Meanstreak Damage: 8-7 Charybdis Strategy: 12-3 Meanstreak Meanstreak wins 34-11 Coup de Grâce vs. Golden Blaze The audience is on the edge of their seats for this fight: it should be explosive! Golden Blaze whirs up to speed, then moves in towards Coup de Grâce, trying to move in on its side and keep away from that devastating hammer. But despite how odd and semi-implausible Coup de Grâce's drive system is, it still has the speed and traction to keep up with its slightly slower opponent. Coup moves in, lining up a big hit, and the two weapons collide, sending both robots spinning away from each other. Golden Blaze spins up again but is vibrating slightly now: its weapon bar must have gotten slightly bent. Coup de Grâce's hammer looks fine, but the corner of its front skirt is torn: Golden Blaze's bar must have caught it in the impact. The two come at each other again, Golden Blaze still doing its best to dodge that hammer. Unfortunately, it's just not able to: the hammer comes down again, this time on Golden Blaze's self-righting arm, which bends it into the way of the spinning bar, which promptly shears it off. Golden Blaze gets a glancing blow on Coup's skirt, denting it. A third clash, and a solid hit for both: Coup de Grâce's skirt is now looking quite mangled and Golden Blaze has started to vibrate badly enough to make driving difficult. A fourth clash tears Coup's skirt clean off, but now Golden Blaze's weapon isn't spinning as fast as it was at the beginning of the match. A few more blows stop it completely, and though Golden Blaze tries its best to dodge, Coup de Grâce finally gets its killing blow. Your winner by KO, Coup de Grâce! ---- SUPERHEAVYWEIGHTS CARNAGE CONFERENCE Danger Noodle vs. Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo At the sound of the buzzer, Danger Noodle's enormous yellow drum becomes a blur as Lifter 2 launches forward towards it, aiming to get under its left wheel. Danger Noodle notices and turns to keep its wedgelet in the way, but the lifter gets underneath it and lifts as Lifter 2's momentum shoves them both into the wall. The drum hadn't gotten all the way up to speed, but it still has enough energy as it bumps the wall to launch Noodle out of Lifter 2's grasp. The two reorient themselves and continue, with Danger Noodle now up to its full speed. Lifter 2 comes in again and Danger Noodle comes in to meet it. This time Noodle's wedgelet slips underneath the wedge, lifting up Lifter 2. The lifter's corner takes a glancing blow from the mighty drum, breaking off a small piece of it and sending Lifter 2 over onto its backside. Luckily, Lifter 2 doesn't use a four bar configuration and is easily able to right itself. The fight continues with hardly a pause in the action, but as things go on, Danger Noodle struggles to get underneath Lifter 2 again. It does get several good hits on the top of Lifter 2's lifter as it's shoved around, but they don't seem to have any effect on the juggernaut that is Lifter 2. For its part, Lifter 2 has some difficulty keeping control of Danger Noodle due to its strange shape, but it does give Danger Noodle a few good slams into the walls. Towards the end of the fight, Danger Noodle tries a gambit of coming at Lifter 2 straight on in reverse. This time, it actually catches a solid blow on the top of Lifter 2's lifter as Lifter 2 zips in underneath it, sending Danger Noodle gyrating into the air. Lifter 2 remains unharmed, however, and takes the disoriented Danger Noodle for another ride into the wall as the match ends and the judges are forced to begin deliberation. Their scores: Aggression: 8-7 Lifter 2 Damage: 8-7 Danger Noodle Control: 8-7 Lifter 2 By a score of 23-22, The Return of Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo is your winner! Tax Cutter vs. Needles 2.0 As I thought it would be, this match turned out to be very ugly...Tax Cutter may have appeared slow on the advance, but Needles 2.0 looked like it was driving on an ice rink. Not sure what the driver was trying to do there, but Tax Cutter wasn't in any hurry to go try chasing his opponent. Eventually (after about a minute into the match), Needles does make contact, brings down the axe....and, oh, Needles is all over the arena-I mean all over. Tax Cutter spins down and returns to its square during the countdown. Well, that was...something :/ Tax Cutter wins via KO in 1:13! Cyclone vs. Froral Fury Well, uh... Cyclone immediately falls onto its face, but can still technically move. Weapon don’t work like that though. Froral Fury eventually doodles on by and smacks it. it does it again eventually, and Cyclone is not moving. Your winner, by KO in 0:55, is Froral Fury! Scrunglebot vs. Ikea's Guard Dog Scrunglebot wins by GIANT SAW OF FORFEIT. Death Turret 2000 vs. Parasoul Bad news for you Pat, the ABR wedge DOES stop you getting a hold and lifting him. Quite frankly any of them except for the Reflector Shield plow would done. Even then I'd be tempted to give him the advantage. Furthermore Pat, you are not able to stop Parasoul from ramming and ramming you all over the arena. Aggression: 15-0 Parasoul Damage: 15-0 Parasoul Strategy: 15-0 Parasoul Parasoul wins 45-0 Lethal Injection vs. Count Bleck Really Alex? I'm not quite sure you understand what's going on here. Count Bleck is going to vaporize itself after one hit. As long as you don't swallow your own tongue it's literally impossible for you to lose here. Even then all you'd have to do is fall face down on your remote in your death agony and nudge your bot to go forward. As it is, the hit completely demolishes Lethal Injections clamp and most of the front wedges. Have fun rebuilding the fucking thing before next weeks fight. Lethal Injection wins by TKO in 0:39 Fenrir vs. Hartmann's Youkai Bot Uhh... I'm not sure what to make of this. So HYB's lifter pushes it into the ground and makes the spinner go all akilter? I would nod towards that if the lifter was pretty overpowered. If they meet, does HYB's lifter get hit by the drum? Maybe? All I know is that neither of you guys are OHKOing the other's weaponry and you need to check the damage scale again. :V So both bots come out, Fenrir gets under HYB's lifter and hits it. Whee. Metal is bent. HYB survives, but has a warped lifter. Fenrir hits it again and tears it off. Holy shit, Drew's tactic actually worked? So it did. But now without a lifter, HYB actually is forced to use its spinner. The conical shape of HYB provides it an excellent boon as Fenrir actually can't strike it with the drum before HYB strikes the front skids with the low blades. There goes a wedge. Oh, I see now. HYB didn't hit dead-center, so that's how it avoided the drum. Fenrir is determined to strike HYB directly in the center with his drum, so out he comes. CRASH. It sounds like sheet metal had been thrown into a blender as both bots, superheavyweights as they are, go absolutely flying. HYB lands near the middle of a wall, not only missing one of the middle teeth but also finding a moderate warp in its shell, preventing it from moving around properly. Fenrir, meanwhile, is behind a killsaw with its drum almost completely ripped from its axle. You know when Hazard removed El Diablo's drum in CC Battlebots, Season 4? Yeah, that. And he's on one wheel as well. Neither weapon is working. Holy shit. They actually did take each other's weaponry out. Shame on me. So uh... they just laze around until the clock runs out. Aggression: 8-7 Fenrir Damage: 8-7 Fenrir Strategy: 8-7 Fenrir Fenrir wins a by a 24-21 judges' decision. AFTERMATH CONFERENCE Krakatoa vs. Xonotic Uh, yeah mystic, your wheelbase is way worse than his lol. You also can’t flank. At all. After he gets absolutely owned trying it for the third time, mystic starts going head-on instead. In the meantime, Krakatoa’s taken him to every hazard in the arena, and paraded him around in the middle of the arena, flaming the hell outta the thing. For what it’s worth, mystic does a decent job escaping with his flipper. also, hazard damage in 2018 LUL Actually one of Xittic’s wheels might be a little deformed or something. It’s listing to the left. At any rate, Krakatoa presses and gets underneath Xotire, but he also gets under a floor seam so Xireuew is able to escape. they reset, same thing happens, Xoreit gets underneath. He flips, but it mostly just flops up Krakatoa’s lifter. it does let mystic get further underneath Krakatoa though, and kinda shove him towards the wall with his flipper still up. Krakatoa eventually gets shoved off due to the awkward angle of it, toppling off over the side and landing on its back. mission accomplished! Kinda. Mystic’s able to flip juggle Krakatoa for a bit until Madman ends up right side up for long enough to get his front facing. This time the pressing works entirely, and he dominates Xofdrig for the last 30 seconds or so. Aggression: 8-7 Xotnik how the fuck are you supposed to spell this jesus Damage: 9-6 Krakatoa Control: 9-6 Krakatoa Krakatoa wins 25-20 beef king vs. Ravex How doex Ravex even make any sort of sense? Well, even assuming it does, I'm not going to be taking my time to point out everything that's wrong it, and even if it did make sense, this fight wasn't for it. BeEf KiNg just rips the FUCK out of him. I mean rips the FUCK out of him. There is no FUCK left in Ravex, as it has been literally ripped out. Butt seriously, there is one moment where Ravex actually collects bEeF kInG into the front when BK pinballed around the arena right back into him, and takes him to the pulverizer. Bf Kng takes several shots but he seems fine when he's released, and it goes completely pants from there. Noah gets his wish with one last hit that completely severs the rear axle and sprays Ravex parts all over the arena. If he could fit them in, anyway. _bEEF ^kING wins by a knockout in 1:43. Khnum vs. Howler III I have to say that looking at Howler is kind of like an optical illusion, it doesn't seem like it should work but I guess it does. Also, since as best I can make out of this situation is that Howler is kind of doing the x-axis spinner thing and Gabe says he doesn't want to bother with that, we get everyone's favorite... NOTHING! As a writer, nothing makes me happier than me spending time on these things when both RPs are perfectly incompatible, and I have to decide who breaks first and invariably someone's going to complain that their RP was ignored (particularly ironic since I have to acknowledge I read both RPs to highlight how annoying this position is). Ultimately I'm going to have to base my decision on who is better suited for the long haul here. Even with tread traction bonus on his side, Howler's recoil protection is laughable (2 traction to counterbalance 17 weapon power). My discretion on the matter is that while Howler packs a serious punch, when Khnum rams him, he doesn't really have the facilities to effectively follow up. Khnum is able to smother Howler against the walls well enough. At one point even getting Howler to the hammer, but thanks to Howler's unusual shape the hammer doesn't actually land too many solid shots on him. I can say that Khnum's plow is thoroughly carved up by the time the fight ends. Aggression: 14-1 Khnum Damage: 12-3 Howler III Strategy: 10-5 Khnum Khnum wins 27-18 Chemical Explosion vs. Phantasmic Slammer TBR's defensive strategy pretty much dooms him from the get-go. Slammer eats a big hit but not as big a hit as he was expecting due to Chem simply spinning a little when Slammer gets near, and from there-on-in Slammer lives up to his name, slamming. Phantasmically, even! 6 armour doesn't last that long against all the hazard abuse and eventually the R3 SHW champ is put down. Phantasmic Slammer wins by a knockout in 1:34. Triple 6 vs. Metal Heck This is a battle of two worlds. The first phase is basically Metal Heck doing a somewhat admirable job of keeping its wedge pointed at Triple 6, and occasionally getting it far enough up the wedge where the blade gets a dig in at the front of Triple 6, although really doing little. That all changes, however, when Triple 6 finally outmanoeuvres Metal Heck enough to get at the front corners, dig under, and toss it. Metal Heck lands on its head. Without its wedge to help it out, Metal Heck is victim to a massive tour of the hazards, which pretty much total Metal Heck and leave him with barely any mobility at the end of the match. He did control a large portion of the match though, so was that enough to make up for the later punishment? Aggression: 9-6 Triple 6 Damage: 9-6 Triple 6 Strategy: 10-5 Metal Heck Triple 6 wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Space Cadet vs. Panzer Strike Mk. II Yeah, there really isn't anything Panzer Strike can do in this fight. Space Cadet ram-foos it around the arena, into the hammers and killsaws and everything. Panzer does get a couple of glancing shots with the hammer, and they leave some nice holes in Space Cadet's armor, but after a couple of minutes of abuse the hammer breaks down and Panzer Strike is left upside-down with no way to move. Space Cadet wins by KO at 2:34. Jack Frost vs. Speed Bison Speed Bison comes out swinging, like a bison out of hell. Jack Frost is up to speed, and the two collide in a shower of sparks. Jack spins away, and Speed Bison is able to capitalize on this and get to JF's side. Josh tries to J-hook away, but his wheels are both off of the ground, and he gets slammed hard into the wall by the Bison. This is more or less the story of the fight. About two-thirds of the way into the fight, smoke starts trickling out of Jack Frost and it stops moving. Speed Bison wins by knockout at 2:23. -------- -------- FIGHT OF THE WEEK Remi IV vs. Patchouli In the red square... this robot sheds its light on everyone. Unfortunately, it's always a red dawn! Introducing... REMI!!! And in the blu square... lock the door and batten the hatches - otherwise, you'll be under the weather of the cold front known as... PATCHOULI!!! The box is locked, the lights are on, kawaii desu, ne? Uh, I mean, IT'S ROBOT FIGHTIN' TIME!!! Wait, hold on. What is this? Patchouli is facing away from Remi? How rude! Anyway, both bots spin up, and as they do Patchouli starts to rotate on the spot. It seems the blade is rotating the robot, albeit slowly. How could this be? Well the fact that Patchouli has a horrible traction value and mecanum wheels, combined with an absurdly powerful spinner, might be reason enough. Noah seems to have expected this, as Patchouli is slowly turning itself about with the blade to face Remi. Now we know why Patchouli started out sideways! Remi, however, has lumbered on over cautiously. Zach isn't exactly expecting to get anything other than a weapon-on-weapon hit, so he moves his 2hu machine towards the other 2hu machine, Patchouli, who is now really struggling to get the blade where it wants to. Noah has no real time to aim the blade where he wants because Remi is now in Patchouli's face... CRAAAAAAAASH!!!!! There is a gigantic fucking shower of sparks; Remi actually goes spinning through the air as the force of the hit made her go completely out of control... but once she lands on her tracks, she simply stops bouncing everywhere. Zach sees that a sizable bite has been taken out of the drum, but it can spin up still, as he also finds. So Remi is okay. What about Patchouli? Patchouli, it has transpired, went rocketing into the air about 7 feet, while tumbling over and over, and came down on her side right near the wall, but the sheer power of the blade is causing Patchouli to go absolutely apeshit; the hinged part where the blade is connected to the main body tilts downwards before the rest of the body can and, even while getting back up to speed, starts spinning Patchouli's body around like a goddamn top until the mecanums also hit the ground, and Noah finally gets his machine back under control, as well as he can. During all this, Remi has made her way back over to Patchouli, Zach looking quite wary of Patchouli's antics, but decides to keep on hitting. The problem? Patchouli is finally back up to speed, though there is some very minor wobbling. Perhaps a bit of Patchouli's blade got bent upwards? Whatever the issue, Remi and Patchouli meet again... CRAAAAAAAAASH!!!!! ...and the impact is just as impressive as before! Remi goes flying again, bouncing end on end, but coming back to rest on her tracks and immediately back under control. Well... maybe not. Zach looks concerned; there's another massive bite out of Remi's drum, and this time it's enough to make the weapon incredibly unstable, as Remi is doing some gratuitous wobbling. Again, what about Patchouli? Same shit as before, except this time Patchouli actually hit the Lexan wall after being flung, and seems to crash directly down on one of the mecanums. Due to Patchouli's armour value this doesn't really do anything to the wheel, but it does send Patchouli bouncing away like it did to Remi, bouncing and spinning until it finally lands back on all four wheels. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to end there! Patchouli seems to be having major, major control issues now, and we can see why - earlier, we guessed that Remi managed to very slightly bend the weapon on Patchouli... now, we don't have to guess. There's still enough room for the blade to spin, but one side of the blade has a definite bend to it now... it may also be missing a small chunk as well, although not as much damage as Remi has taken to its own weapon, which is causing Remi to jerk around quite a bit. With barely controllable robots each, Noah and Zach move in as best they can, trying to get their bot to kill the other one. Patchouli's weapon is bouncing around a bit and causing it to spin sideways a lot, but Remi keeps jerking about and has to reposition to try and move forward. The drum looks like it's seen better days, but Zach keeps it revved since Patchouli is still dangerous even now. An unstable robot is still dangerous in the arena. Remember Ziggo? Son of Whyachi? Hell, even Last Rites fucking went mental after its hit on Mosquito. Not that Mosquito survived the hit but I digress. At last the two robots are near each other again, and Noah merely keeps trying to turn his bot, waiting for Zach to slip up first. Remi goes in, and again has to reposition. Noah jumps at the opportunity but also fucks up and accidentally presents Patchouli's side to Remi, which Remi takes! Or would, if Remi could move straight properly, and Patchouli recovers enough to where we get our third weapon-to-weapon and hit overall... CRASH!!! The hit is much less impressive than before, but it is the one that has the most severe consequences. Remi goes soaring away... and her drum goes the other way, rolling over the saws before coming to rest in a mangled heap of tooth and shrapnel. Patchouli, meanwhile got tossed into the air again, landed on its back for the first time, and... something rubbery comes out from under Patchouli. The weapon belt! It's been chopped off by Patchouli's now really bent blade! Which is no longer spinning, I might add. Is Patchouli itself okay, though? Seems to be. That's the advantage of having a weapon on a hinge, apparently. What about Remi? No problems there either, though its own weapon belt seemed to have been torn out along with the drum. Jeepers! There are mounds and mounds of applause from the crowd, and the shirtless Toro guys are suddenly there, except instead of T-O-R-O they now have R-E-M-I painted on them. Ugh. One of the fans at the opposite side of the stands holds up a Patchouli poster on it. Sit your asses down, boys. The match ain't over yet. With no weapons left, this becomes a war of attrition. No longer burdened by spinning weapons, each robot relies on their drivetrain to outpush the other, and with similar speed and torque stats, neither robot really gets anywhere. Remi slams into Patchouli... although when I say "slams", I really mean "sidles over to and nuzzles against" because anime girls. Yeah, that's the ticket. Patchouli pushes back, so they deadlock. Neither really have the leverage to really outpush the other, so Patchouli strafes off to the side to push Remi from there, but slips up again due to her naturally poor control. Remi starts to nudge Patchouli to the killsaws, but time finally runs out in the match, so both robots perform a slow dance while the crowd cheers them on. Wait, did someone seriously just yell "3 more minutes!!!"? If you want 3 more minutes of lame pushing matches then fuck you. Also good luck repairing their weaponry right away if you want more spinning action. Now, with retarded audience members out of the way, who won this fight? Aggression: 10-5 Remi IV Damage: 11-4 Patchouli Strategy: 9-6 Remi IV In a nailbiter, Remi IV wins a 23-22 split judges' decision!
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Mar 18 2018, 06:57 PM Post #3
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 2 LIGHTWEIGHTS DEFIANCE CONFERENCE GREEN BRICK vs. Witness Me Mole Drives like a sensible. A sensible what? Since he included no object of the sentence, I decided to use the wikipaedia random page button thing to find out what he meant! Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Tulancingo. Mole drives like a sensible Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Tulancingo. As the seat of Mexican archbishops, Mole chooses to wedge green brick and push it around for 3 minutes. Also V900 can’t break his fingers because he’s a giant church. Smart! Aggression: 8-7 GREEN BRICK Damage: 8-7 Witness Me Strategy: 15-0 Witness Me Your winner, in a 30-15 decision, is Witness Me! Eat Me Too vs. Flash Flood Eat Me Too's stats are wild. Since he's starting out basically driving straight forward, I'll allow that he's able to reasonably keep on course. Flash Flood is also charging straight ahead and when a 15 speed bot and an 8 speed bot charge at each other it doesn't take very long at all for them to collide. It looks a little like Flood was angling into the mouth, but there wasn't very much time for nuanced movement. But it looks like it worked well enough. Flood has EMT wedged, though a bit awkwardly. It's good enough for Dylan to go to work flipping. Well as much as you can with a 1 powered flipper anyway. It's more like aggressively shoving EMT around and before to long it leads to EMT getting sent for a ride by one of the floor flippers. Now THAT'S a flip. EMT mixes things up a bit by getting the thwack in play. He's not able to get around the front shield however, and it's difficult to get a really solid it on that. However it does keep Flood at bay for awhile, so EMT is avoiding getting bullied around. Eventually Flood manages to dodge a thwack attempt well enough to get back in and start wedge/flipping EMT again. The fight draws to a close with Flood flipping EMT along one of the conveyor treads, but he isn't quite able to get him to the corner. Aggression: 10-5 Flash Flood Damage: 9-6 Eat Me Too Strategy: 9-6 Flash Flood Flash Flood wins 25-20 The Servant's Assistant 4 vs. Mushroom Cloud The long and short of this match is that while Servant tries, the fact that he only tries to angle in when they're close allows Syl to get under before Lian can press the scoop, and then flip him over. Syl's tactics work pretty well as Servant is forced to self-right on the spot, allowing Mushroom Cloud to keep flipping him up until halfway through the match, where Servant gets free at last. Not long after that, Servant tries that good old baiting tactic and it does work to a degree, as Servant manages to get under Mushroom Cloud. Unfortunately he's unable to really get him further up the wedge for a clamp, so Mushroom Cloud escapes. It goes Syl from there, with a great deal of flipping. Aggression: 8-7 Mushroom Cloud Damage: 8-7 Mushroom Cloud Strategy: 9-6 Mushroom Cloud Mushroom Cloud wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. La Valette vs. Nervous Wedge Boy Ugh. You know, I would be kinder to Nervous Wedge Boy, if it weren't for the fact that there is pretty much nothing of note that can help him in this arena. As it is, La Valette gets in a hit that causes him to go bouncing all over the arena, but it also blows open a massive hole in the front of Nervous Wedge Boy. When La Valette finally calms down, he has a rammer bearing down on him and gets shoved... but that's it. Nervous Wedge Boy can't find anything in the arena that really aids him and eventually has to relinquish the spinner. The next hit completely destroys the front wedge and leaves Nervous Wedge Boy moving slower... as well as sending La Valette around like a pinball. WRONG ARENA YOU SPASTIC SCHMUCK!!! Anyway Nervous Wedge Boy, even now, is able to pin the bot, but pinning isn't enough, and one more hit completely rips innards open and kills Nervous Wedge Boy on the spot, as La Valette goes into his stupid dance again. However thank you, Jamie, for actually having the balls to stand up to that fucking thing. La Valette wins by a knockout in 2:43. Bluebot vs. Hoarfrost Grumble, all these people saying that a flat wedge always loses to a pronged wedge. To hell with your pressure = force / area! This isn't physics class! THIS! IS! ...whoa, had to catch myself from meme'ing, there. Anyway I guess since Hoarfrost allegedly has the "better" wedge or something, he gets under Bluebot a lot. Bluebot gets slammed around and resorts to angling after a while, but isn't really able to get control of the situation. He does get one massive hit that twirls Hoarfrost through the air but he merely comes back down to rest right side up. Gulden tries to save any kind of face he can but Laz is just being really mean to him and continues to pretty much dominate the match, which culminates in a cross-arena body check that spins Bluebot over top of Hoarfrost and sends him bouncing wacky. Aggression: 10-5 Hoarfrost Damage: 8-7 Bluebot Strategy: 10-5 Hoarfrost Hoarfrost wins by a 27-18 judges' decision. Sir Morphsalot vs. Blitz Mk. III Sir Morphsalot sounds like a pat name but the guy FFed so it’s definitely not pat :V Blitz wins by FF Ayame vs. Tidal Wave The long and short of this one is that Ayame's speed does help it avoid the drum more often than not and lets Alex get in a few nice rams and flips. For it's part, Tidal Wave gets in some decent to good shots with the drum that despite Ayame's good armor, are more impressive overall than what the hazard selection in this arena is able to do to Tidal Wave. By the end of the fight Ayame is pretty well dented up, but still moving around okay and Tidal Wave ends up on its back, victim of one last flip from Ayame that sent it into a floor flipper. Aggression: 11-4 Ayame Damage: 12-3 Tidal Wave II Strategy: 9-6 Ayame Ayame wins 23-22 VENGEANCE CONFERENCE Yellow Buzzard vs. Electric Agression Electric Agression wins by FF The Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins vs. The Thieving Magpie The clusterbots stick together, clearly breaking from standard Scooby-Doo protocols, and attempt to use Joon as a sacrificial lamb to keep Magpie busy to prevent this bot from getting at Shion. In the crowd you can hear: “Wait a minute, wasn’t that Magpie robot a drum a few minutes ago”? “Oh there’s more than one Magpie. Well thanks for making your robot names confusing”. The THIEVING Magpie, not to be confused with the Effective Magpie :V: doesn’t seem to care much and merely pushes the flailbot, as the chains strike and leave sparks but do little, into its buddy, and the both into one of the thousands of arena flippers, launching both asunder. This process continues several more times. Towards the end, Shion does get under and pin Magpie, allowing Shoon to go whirling about for a bit, so there is some counterplay, but not enough to outweigh the bullying. A: Magpie 12-3 D: Twins 8-7 S: Magpie 12-3 The Thieving Magpie wins a 31-14 decision Ramshock vs. White Lightning White Lightning comes flying out like a bat out of hell and, surprisingly, finds that Ramshock actually DOES get under him. I guess Drew was stunned enough by what happened that he forgot how to drive and Ramshock starts shoving his bot backwards. Okay, White Lightning recovers, and tries again. Nope, Ramshock still gets under. Now normally I would mock Pat because he simply put "push him to hazards" where there is a distinct dearth of them here, but he manages to get White Lightning to back away directly under one of the floor flippers which was right behind him, and get launched onto his back. From there White Lightning gets rammed around until he can actually find enough space to safely self-right out of. Drew now tries angling in on Ramshock but Ramshock's lifter is wide enough where this doesn't really work well for Drew and Ramshock gets under White Lightning again. Unlike before though, White Lightning easily escapes. We're then "treated" to a lot of Ramshock getting under and White Lightning escaping. Okay, before the end, White Lightning runs away. Right? Ramshock chases him and White Lightning turns around... only for Ramshock to get under yet again. But not really do anything with it. Bzzzz. Match ends. I typed way too many words for this. :V Aggression: 8-7 Ramshock Damage: 8-7 Ramshock Strategy: 9-6 Ramshock Ramshock wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. Nick's Fuzzy Rules vs. Exotherm I guess Spats is going for the "less is more" approach with his RPs. It's a shame that doesn't really work out for him. Especially when his opponent tanks shots like a champ and fiercely out-controls him. Which is what happened. NFR basically gets under consistently and takes that boy for a ride. Except for that one time Exotherm actually completely got under NFR and sent him fucking flying into a 360. Because fuck you. :V Aggression: 9-6 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Damage: 9-6 Exotherm Strategy: 10-5 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Nick's Fuzzy Rules wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. Cream vs. Pinstripe Well Cream actually does some substantial damage to Pinstripe through use of the flails, and the front scoop is pretty much gone within a few hits. Of course, Cream pinballing all over the fucking place doesn't help, and when Pinstripe actually gets to him, yeah. Oh look, you have 16 speed. Too bad you don't have any fucking control with it. Noah tries to run away. 12 starting speed combined with... idk, what does the translational thing do to traction again? It really doesn't matter much, since his traction stat is a godly number of 1, so he slams straight into the wall behind the conveyor, gets carted to one of the flippers, and is shot across the arena. Where Pinstripe is there to smack him. Pinstripe gets a lot of successive hits that start to really bend some armour, but Cream "gets away" again. And by gets away I mean he fucking did a King Buxton and crashed straight into the wall without any sort of control whatsoever. Pinstripe gets to him before he can spin up and starts knocking him about again, but time runs out shortly after. Aggression: 9-6 Pinstripe Damage: 9-6 Cream Strategy: 10-5 Pinstripe Pinstripe wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. Dr. Robotnik vs. HIRricaine Owing to PyroTechnica's abandonment of Oddestsey V: The Seven Lords, we can only assume he has left ARC as well. Thus, Dr. Robotnik wins. Sadly, not by KO or JD, but by FF. Experiment 626 vs. Anti-Virus Both drivers are raring to go, and with the sound of the buzzer the two bricks fly at each other like a couple of bucks in mating season. It's a head on collision, and to the surprise of both of the drivers, neither fully wedges the other. Their wedgelets have become entangled, like the antlers of a couple of bucks in mating season. A pushing match ensues, just like it would for a couple of bucks in mating... okay I'll stop. With its higher torque, Anti-Virus begins pushing Experiment 626 slowly backwards. Realizing this, HFL reverses and hooks away. Kody chases after, and another clash ensues, this time with 626 getting underneath. It slowly raises its lifter as it begins pushing Anti-Virus toward the conveyor, but Kody's still got wheels on the ground and uses them to drive right on top of and over 626 before it can lift any farther. He reverses and plows into 626 as HFL is trying to turn it around and begins to push him again, turning with 626 as it tries to escape. It quickly does, with the aid of one of the conveyors, and a long match of wedging ensues, each bot getting under the other, but not for long. Anti-Virus has some success using its plow, which proves too tall for Experiment 626 to drive over, and Experiment 626 takes advantage of Anti-Virus's wedgelets getting jammed into the side of the conveyor to give it a good slam. It almost looks like Anti-Virus is going to be stuck, but then the conveyor starts moving and it's able to escape. The match ends with another clash of antlers... I mean wedgelets, and the sighs of a panel of judges who are going to have a heck of a time coming up for a winner of this one. After a record 15 minute deliberation, their scores are: Aggression: 8-7 Anti-Virus Damage: 9-6 Experiment 626 Strategy: 9-6 Anti-Virus Your winner in a 23-22 decision, Anti-Virus! ---- MIDDLEWEIGHTS ANNIHILATION CONFERENCE Eye of n00t vs. Magica I didn’t even look up this fight thread but since Pyro ragequit I think I can rest assured that this is an FF for N00t Harbinger vs. Harpy This match was quite an oddball in terms of strategy. Harbinger managed to angle in quite successfully on Harpy, but Harpy rode the wedge and dropped off behind Harbinger. Unfortunately Harbinger was able to turn in time before Harpy could take advantage, so it got shoved a bit. Conversely, Harpy's perfect control meant that many angle-in attempts were rather unsuccessful and she got Harbinger head-on... the problem was that Harbinger's hinged wedge rode into the stoppers on Harpy and allowed Harbinger to push Harpy backwards until Harpy j-hooked out of the push. All in all, not much of note happened in the match. Harbinger did get a few thwacks in when Harpy was being particularly annoying, but failed to really take advantage due to just how quick both of the robots were, and the match ends with both Harbinger and Harpy looking ready for another 3 minutes of the same old shit. Judges? Aggression: 8-7 Harpy Damage: 8-7 Harbinger Strategy: 8-7 Harbinger Harbinger wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Lulver vs. Magnolia Pico Great. So Pico's using the flipper, and Lulver isn't even spinning. I hate you clods so much. Well Lulver wants to wedge and Pico wants to stop him wedging by using the turret. Even better. Well this boils down to a few things. Lulver can actually get under the turret flipper, and by extension Pico. Alex doesn't even bother to keep the turret pointed. However, once underneath, Brad's really unable to push Pico anywhere before Pico sweeps the turret under the side. While he is successful, Lulver is deep enough under Pico that when Pico attempts to flip, he raises both bots off the ground, both of them are mercifully right side up. Lulver stays underneath Pico and now begins to shove. The progress is very slow though since Pico is a walker (I'm not biased. Really. I'm not.) and thus weighs more than other bots in its weight class, and Lulver's own sub-par drive stats. The thing is, not even a flailing turret can knock Pico away from Lulver now, and... it's flipping time! WHEE! Pico is flipped. Oh look! Alex didn't put in his RP that he would self-right if flipped! I guess that means Lulver wins by a KO! Or that's what would happen if I decided to be an asshole and take things entirely literally. But I have to assume people have common sense, I guess. So Pico fires the flipper and very nearly fails at the self-right due to both the robot's weight and the angle of the flip, but 8 weapon power is enough to get him back over... where Lulver is ready to re-wedge him again, hilariously. Over comes the turret, but since Lulver already has enough wedge under Pico, the flipper only smacks lightly into Lulver and doesn't get under at all. More flipping time courtesy of the floor flippers. Pico re-rights, and Alex is starting to get a little frustrated. Not much time now. We're back to square one, with Lulver nose-ing in with the wedge. Finally, Alex gets what he wanted, and the flipper intercepts Lulver's wedge nose from the side and gives him a nice toss, which completely annihilates whatever wedging capabilities Lulver had. Lulver turns tail and runs towards the arena flippers, but the match is now over, as the familiar buzzer rings out. Aggression: 10-5 Lulver Damage: 9-6 Magnolia Pico Strategy: 10-5 Lulver Lulver wins by a 26-19 judges' decision. Stingray vs. G.B.J. I'm inclined to be sympathetic to dealing with your opponent ghosting you on informing you on configuration choice. Unfortunately that isn't much help to GBJ here as Stingray is all over him and gets him flipped over with help of one of the floor flippers pretty early on. It's pretty much all over for GBJ at that point as Stingray pushes him around at will and keeps him away from the floor flippers from that point on, essentially cutting off his quickest way of self-righting. Aggression: 14-1 Stingray Damage: 15-0 Stingray Strategy: 15-0 Stingray Stingray wins 44-1 The Maw vs. Diablo Genesis Sorry Drew, but 'in theory' your flipper could be really thin and/or made of some really lightweight material, so... :V Yes I love my snark. :V That said, The Maw actually does have better leverage anyway so he wins most of the front lowness exchanges, getting cleanly under Diablo Genesis and thrusting him backwards, which sadly is The Maw's only real method of offense. Drew eventually wises up to this and starts going clamp mode, by which I mean I guess he fires the flipper prematurely and hopes The Maw gets caught between the pan and flipper? Well it kind of works I guess, because The Maw isn't really able to get under him anymore, but he fires the ram anyway and now the two are caught in a stalemate of a pushing match. Speed, traction (thanks to The Maw's track bonus) and torque are all the same, so no one's going anywhere. This absurdity persists to the end of the fight, whether neither can really get a clear advantage over the other. Aggression: 8-7 The Maw Damage: 8-7 The Maw Strategy: 8-7 Diablo Genesis The Maw wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Instigator vs. Sundancer Well Laz has reason to dance after this match. It turns out that Instigator's lifter is the only wedge worth a damn on his machine, and Sundancer proves plucky enough to avoid it. The mecanums make him slippery indeed, so slippery that Laz himself has to be careful not to lose control of his machine, but once he gets in close, down comes the hammer and with a few seconds the top of Instigator is suddenly looking like a minefield. A few more seconds and Sundancer is able to jam Instigator's armour into one of his own tracks. Many, many blows later, Instigator is a smoking, lifeless heap. Chris Schramm and middleweight Sunshine look on, jealous. Sundancer wins by a knockout in 1:22. Biological Warfare vs. Kid A It's not a sylandro RP is the term "monkey business" isn't used at least once. Something something, both robots drive toward each other and Sylandro eats shit right off the bat because you can't say "attempt to zip towards their sides" when you're SLOWER than the opponent you big dummy. Biological Warfare isn't doing a good job of avoiding the clamp either, because that's exactly where it goes. Womp womp woooomp. Kid Asshole shoves BW around for a little while. It's cool and good for everyone involved and they all have a grand old time, except for BW who gets bitchslapped across the face courtesy of the Clipart Hazard Stripes-lookin ass flipper. Kid A's spindly clamp prongs (that will 100% for sure get roflstomped by any other brick btw) manage to slide under the recovering BW and shove it around some more. The two bots take turns bullying each other around like this is some 5th grade playground dick-measuring contest to see who can do the most dangerous bullshit. Protip: it's the faster guy that can actually angle in on your narrow lifter. THINGS continue to HAPPEN in the ARENA and it goes to the JUDGES Aggression: 9-6 Kid A Damage: 8-7 Kid A Strategy: 10-5 Kid A Ability to zip toward their sides: 14-1 Kid A Kid A wins by a 41-19 (read: 27-18) judge's decision. REVOLUTION CONFERENCE Clown Recluse vs. Raus Mk. IV Okay, Clown's blade looks somewhat high off the ground, and unless HFL provides another pic I'm going to assume that he's not hitting any low wedges today, sorry mac. Not that he needed to, I just wanted to get the snark in. :V A few weapon-to-weapon hits do happen but they go more in favour of Clown than Raus, and then Clown finally gets a hit in on the main body... yeah that's major damage and Raus is only spinning in a circle now. Another hit pretty much fixes that. Clown Recluse wins by a knockout in 1:33. Killing Intent vs. Remi IV No scoop on Remi, so head to head we go. The drum keeps Remi from just getting insta-wedged, but of course it hitting Killing Intent's wedge does absolutely nothing outside of throwing off some sparks and knocking off a few flecks of paint. And the angle of the wedge means it's not really a full force hit like if Remi was able to hit a true flat surface anyway. So Killing Intent mostly bullies Remi around, and it's not too exciting outside of a couple times Remi is sent airborne by a floor flipper, unless you really like bots getting held over flame shooters. This isn't to say that Remi is completely helpless exactly. It's just that the drum just isn't able to cause any kind of meaningful damage to that front wedge and Remi just isn't able to ever really get around it. So even landing hits here and there only do so much good. Aggression: 10-5 Killing Intent Damage: 9-6 Remi IV Strategy: 9-6 Killing Intent Killing Intent wins 25-20 Heaven Jaws 3 vs. Glitch Glitch wins by a forfeit. The Magpie Effect vs. Marauder Marauder gets the first laugh by angling him, scooping under the front corner of The Magpie Effect (though barely) and shoving him into the corner, where Magpie gets roasted by the flamethrower. Jamie realizes that he really can't angle in on Marauder because the tracks actually prevent control loss when he pushes the lifter. Whoops. Thankfully, The Magpie Effect quickly escapes. The next time they meet, it's actually Magpie Effect who gets under and manages to get under the lifter with his solid 2WD feeder wedge, and buckles the tip of Marauder's lifter so it's no longer flush with the ground. With that comes a change in the tide of the match. Marauder now desperately tries to get the lifter underneath The Magpie Effect, but finds himself being consistently and gradually more easily gotten under by the feeder wedge, all the while watching the lifter becoming more and more bent to the point where he's definitely not getting under The Magpie Effect anymore. Alex wonders why Magpie Effect is still alive, unaware of the armour bonus given to the drum. (Although let's be real here. Even if Jamie applied the bonus to something else, Magpie would still be alive :V) Eventually Marauder does actually stop the drum, and tries to steer Magpie Effect to the corner again, but he does not have the control over Magpie Effect that he did when he got under at the beginning of the match. Magpie Effect closes out the fight with a massive blow that sends Marauder flying into the air and landing on his back. Aggression: 10-5 Marauder Damage: 14-1 The Magpie Effect Strategy: 8-7 The Magpie Effect The Magpie Effect wins by a 27-18 judges' decision. Lupi vs. Mole Butcher Lupi wins by FF WhipCoil vs. Plata O Plomo Plata drives out diagonally and it becomes obvious pretty quickly that WhipCoil isn’t hindered in diving since it isn’t pressing yet. PoP swerves somewhat drunkenly back and forth, but WhipCoil is just too well controlled to hope to angle in on the jaws. WhipCoil wedges the big flipper, but as Whipcoil lifts up the lower jaws, PoP is still able to back away. WhipCoil senses danger and backs away while lowering the jaw again. So we’re kind of stuck in a little bit of a standstill as WhipCoil is proving too quick for PoP to outmaneuver, but the jaws are either just a bit too slow to really get PoP scooped, or else PoP is able to use that powerful flipper to pry itself loose. WhipCoil gets a nice break in eventually cornering PoP right near one of the treads, so there’s no reliable escape route and PoP gets sandwiched against the wall. It’s just too bad being pinned doesn’t help with damage very much. During the duration of the fight PoP only really gets one good flip in with a “by the skin of his teeth” avoiding the tongue and wedging WhipCoil enough to to fire the flipper. It does cause WhipCoil to fly nearly the entire way to the other side of the arena and tumble into a floor flipper. Two for one special! WhipCoil at least manages to avoid getting chain flipped at that point. Not much else exciting as WhipCoil continues to keep PoP at bay and getting a couple more wedge victories, but with limited payoff. Aggression: 10-5 WhipCoil Damage: 12-3 Plata O Plomo Strategy: 8-7 WhipCoil Plata O Plomo wins 24-21 Patchouli vs. Metal 2 Pat loses on stats to this thing, so I can at least respect him trying something. That being said he just gets popped into the air for his troubles. He bounces around a lot, but Patch has 1 traction and mecanum wheels so it’s not like V900 can capitalize or anything. this happens a couple more times, neither really dealing that much damage to each other. Metal 2 actually falls onto its side after one of these hits sends it on a weird bounce, but it happens to land on a floor flipper, and gets tossed back on its wheels. As these engagements have progressed, Pat’s gotten more and more ardent about getting to Patch’s sides, and it’s forced V900 to become incredibly passive to avoid getting his wheels hit – but oh! he oversteers, and pat darts in and capitalizes, mecanum rollers puked across the arena from the hit. Things quickly go downhill from here, as you really can’t strafe on three wheels. Forced to come to terms with his abysmal control without strafing to counterbalance it, V900 is in big trouble, and he takes a couple more hits to the sides of his drum and the supports, until the robot eventually shits itself entirely at the same time that metal 2 gets stuck driving in circles for some reason. Double KO! Aggression: 9-6 Metal 2 Damage: 9-6 metal 2 Strategy: 8-7 Metal 2 Your winner, in a 26-19 decision, is Metal 2!
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Mar 18 2018, 06:57 PM Post #4
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 2 (continued) HEAVYWEIGHTS REDEMPTION CONFERENCE Chad the Inhaler vs. Narsiccistic Hot-Shot FF Chad win. Go die. :V America Offline vs. Sinmill Okay, so let me check I've got this right. Sinmill moves primarily sideways, with the aid of a wheel in the middle of his flywheel powered by a hubmotor? Err, if you say so. :V So we get America Offline ("You've got mail!") going all plow-first into Sinmill and immediately gets a gash torn into it. No problem, he quickly gets back on Sinmill's case as the latter stops flying around and shoves him towards a wall. I'm guessing Syl meant to say "avoid the conveyors" somewhere in his RP, so I'll be nice and allow him to reach part of the wall that isn't blocked by a conveyor. :V Due to Sinmill's odd wheel placement, he can't escape the wall and has to take a nasty half-minute of shots from America Offline's hammer, which actually does more damage than Jack thought. After Sinmill is released, however, things start to get shaky. The Aquatic Robotics HW gets spun back up and as America Offline comes back in, Sinmill takes a bite out of the plow from the same area he hit before, tearing an even larger gash in it than before and sending the bots skidding away! America Offline recovers first, but he doesn't have enough time to get back into it because Sinmill is already spinning again, and the next hit blows off a considerable chunk of the plow, again sending the robots skidding. Sinmill is spinning yet again when America Offline approaches and this time half the plow is pretty much gone. However, it seems the recoil is finally enough to send Sinmill bouncing near to America Offline again, who drives him towards the arena wall and starts to really wail on him, but only gets 3-4 hits before the buzzer. What a fight! Aggression: 12-3 America Offline Damage: 13-2 Sinmill Strategy: 9-6 America Offline America Offline wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision! Cutthroat vs. Duck King Cutthroat wins by a forfeit. Neglected Waterbug vs. Flandre Scarlet Well shit, this is a pretty unfortunate opponent and arena combination for Flandre. At least they had the foresight to get away from the floor flipper behind them so that this fight lasted longer than 20 seconds. Of course then again it's not like the fight lasted all that much longer than that anyway. It ends up being a bit like that time Fulcrum beat MDU by knocking it into a floor flipper and overturning it. Flandre might have done better in a war of attrition in a different arena, but for now I guess we'll never know because there were just too many floor flippers available here for Flandre to not get flipped over eventually. Neglected Waterbug wins by KO in 1:06 Wedgelord vs. Devil's Verdict Welp, Devils Verdict is indeed looking to get Wedgelord flipped via the floor flippers, though not in a way I think Wedgelord expected. So DV parks itself in front of one of the side flippers and waits for Wedgelord to come and attack. Now this is a bit interesting. Wedgelord doesn't really plan on getting to DV's sides, but I doubt he expected DV to essentially LET him get to his sides. What do? This is kind of a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book situation for Kody here. If Wedgelord does go for the obvious sides target things might look pretty good for DV. If not, Kody's kinda screwed because almost his whole strategy is built on the hopes of being able to pull this off. Well... based on Wedgelord seeming to have reasonable faith in it's own wedgeyness and his desire to avoid floor flippers, I kinda have to make the assumption that he'd smell a rat here and would just take the chance in not getting closer to the flipper during this than he could help. Okay, all this doesn't mean that DV is totally dead in the water since wedging DV isn't as easy as all that, but DV never really gets to put his plan into action and Wedgelord is able to use his aggressiveness to get in some good wedges and slams. At least DV gets the saw in play a couple times for the sake of getting in some offense here and there. Aggression: 13-2 Wedgelord Damage: 12-3 Wedgelord Strategy: 13-2 Wedgelord Wedgelord wins 38-7 Lunatic Udonge vs. Dysprosinator Right. Dysprosinator, probably wise to the fact that he's not getting under anything except with the immediate forks in front... tries something different? He tries to get around Lunatic Udonge. Well... honestly, even with the new speed rule in place, that would have been a bit possible except Lunatic Udonge makes this virtually impossible due to having mecanum drive. So the first point of contact is Lunatic Udonge indeed angling in and getting under Dysprosinator as the latter tries to get around him. Flip. TBR is in trouble. Well, he tries to self-right, but the process is slow and Lunatic Udonge shoves Dysprosinator into one of the flamethrower corners. Bigger trouble. Dysprosinator is now in a position where he can't self-right from, with his back end against the wall. No matter what he tries, TBR cannot push his robot away from the wall, and eventually Dysprosinator is counted out. Lunatic Udonge wins by a knockout in 1:02. Flashback vs. Hazardous Waste Removal Flashback tries to make use of its greater speed to get about to the sides of HWR. Gabe is flaunting very dangerously with his robot’s ability to turn fast enough to stop an idea as simple as this with 4 speed, but he’s able to, barely. Eventually Flashback is forced to concede and ‘take one on the chin’. This does not go well… for either party. HWR’s blade slides up the wedge of Flashback and destroys the spinning bar, as well as one of the front wheels, but at the same time hits the floor behind it causing HWR to richocet wildly and lose weapon for a bit. This gap in weapon function allows the limping Flashback to push it around decently, taking it to an arena flipper, knocking it over. The inverted HWR unfortunately ends up being more effective anyway as now the blade more easily contacts the wheels and less easily contacts the floor every time Flashback tries to do something. The other front wheel is taken out. And damage continues piling up, but Flashback limps until the end. A: Flashback 10-5 D: HWR 11-4 S: Flashback 8-7 Hazardous Waste Removal wins a 23-22 nailbiter RECKONING CONFERENCE Meanstreak vs. Coup de Grâce Skirts? What skirts? I don't see any damn skirts! All I see IS GREEEEEEYYYY...whoops, you caught me listening to Spineshank there. Anyhoo, I hate to admit it but Coup's hammer actually does reach over Meanstreak drum, and quite handily too. Of course we don't see this early on, as Meanstreak is a quick mofo and gets in several, several hits that pop Coup backwards while not quite flipping him over, while Coup whiffs strokes and gets some ineffectual blows from the drum as a reward. A few times he even flips himself as Laz plays his mobile game. I didn't know Laz was into Candy Crush. Around the end, however, is when we finally see what Coup is capable of and he gets a direct shot on the top of Meanstreak's body. Meanstreak immediately stops moving. The problem? 5 seconds left. D'oh! The damage still counts though, so let's see! Aggression: 13-2 Meanstreak Damage: 14-1 Coup de Grâce Strategy: 9-6 Meanstreak Meanstreak wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision! Golden Blaze vs. Klarinette Klarinette wins by FF Death Metal vs. Charybdis Believe me, Danielle, I don't get the actual effectiveness of melties either, but it doesn't stop them from being entered. Or winning. :V And unfortunately that's what happens here. The first big hit pretty much obliterates Death Metal's weapon, although it does do some sort of noticable damage to Charbydis' teeth. Successive hits pretty much rip Death Metal a new one and soon Danielle can smell the acrid fumes... of metal death. :V Charybdis wins by a knockout in 1:15, because Kody didn't read his RP properly at first (oops!). :V Nyam Nyam Nya vs. Infrared The two robots advance on each other, Nyam Nyam Nya curving around to angle in and Infrared turning to face it as it spins up that enormous drum. Soon it's going fast enough that the gyro forces of turning begin to raise Infrared's side in the air, and NNN sees a chance and goes in, crusher raised and ready to bite. It gets underneath from the side of the drum, but unluckily one of its crusher tips comes right down into the teeth of the drum, knocking the clamp upwards and bouncing the drum downwards into the floor. Both robots are sent reeling, and they begin their dance again. NNN's crusher looks a little bent but it still seems to be working. Jamie's problem is that he just can't seem to get around that enormous drum, which is now back up to full speed and coming at Nyam Nyam Nya. NNN backs off and tries to angle in once more, but is less successful than the first time and the crusher and then the front forks take huge hits from the giant drum. The lifter is now looking seriously askew and the front forks have been bent upwards. NNN continues to play it tactically, angling in again and again, but with its wedging capability now almost entirely gone it's not able to get much purchase on Infrared when it finally does get to the side. NNN tries to grab Infrared and push it toward the wall, but Infrared is able to turn in time to catch the side of Nyam Nyam Nya with its drum and causing a huge gash. It backs away, and now NNN seems to be having trouble driving: the left side of its drive has frozen up. Infrared comes in for the kill, sending Nyam Nyam Nya flying this time. It lands on its face and is counted out. Your winner by Knockout, Infrared! Micro Cuts vs. Magnolia Grande Damn you wee bull, you took my design for Troubloon! Bitter? Moi? Oui. Anyhoo, yeah there isn't much to say about this one. Micro Cuts tries to flank but unfortunately it isn't to be. One hit and Micro Cuts parts are sprayed across the floor. Ouch. Magnolia Grande wins by a knockout in 0:46. Mr. Bight Sky vs. Redemption Denied Okay, I get the "argument" that Redemption Denied might have trouble when inverted. That's all fine and dandy, but Mr. Bight Sky actually has to flip him first. And unfortunately Pat's trying to outflank a bot with equal speed to it. And no, I'm not buying the "oh if RD's flipper is hinged good luck turning" bit, Gabe. Also your wedges are trash. :V Anyway, the match. What match? RD pretty much takes advantage of Pat's weird tactic and gets the better of him nearly every time, sliding the flipper under and tossing Pat's bot around like a horseshoe. At some point Redemption Denied is actually gotten under, but he backs off before Pat can flip him. Oops. Closing out the match is a flip that sends Bight into the corner, where he gets punched by a spike and sent back on RD's flipper. No chain flip though. Aggression: 8-7 Redemption Denied Damage: 9-6 Redemption Denied Strategy: 11-4 Redemption Denied Redemption Denied wins by a 28-17 judges' decision. Dreadnought Mk 3 vs. Malacoda FIGHT OF THE WEEK - see bottom of post ---- SUPERHEAVYWEIGHTS CARNAGE CONFERENCE Count Bleck vs. Fenrir Kody manages to miss the wall and runs into Fenrir instead, they both die because corner damage doesn’t exist in this ruleset so flat surface damage kills :V Aggression: 8-7 Count Bleck Damage: 14-1 Fenrir Strategy: 10-5 Count Bleck I assigned the points using a dice roller :V also I’m making you count the point totals because fuck you :V Hartmann's Youkai Bot vs. Danger Noodle HYB is coming out slow. No I mean slower than his usual 3 speed would suggest. In fact you may just need to take my word on it that he's moving at all. Danger Noodle meanwhile comes out fast. Well, fast for 3 speed. Is there a Fast Forward button I can use here or something? Eventually the big drumbot barrels into HYB's plow WHAM! HYB rebounds backwards into the floor flipper behind it's starting square. Guess you should have moved out a bit more aggressively kid. HYB lands upside down, and is going through the process of self righting when Danger Noodle comes back in with another shot. CRUNCH! That did a good number on the lifter arm. HYB feebly tries to keep moving it around, but Danger Noodle pretty much completely tears it off with another hit. No more self-righting for HYB. Danger Noodle wins by KO in 0:53 Parasoul vs. Lethal Injection This match has me exceptionally angry. Why is this? Because these idiots do pretty much THE EXACT SAME THING!!! AAAUUUUGGHH!!! Drive out, then stop? Check. Watch the other bot? Check. Prepare for "if he does x/y/z/fuck you"? FUCKING CHECKMATE. I can't even write this match seriously because it's a whole bunch of tactical, or anti-tactical, nonsense. So it honestly comes down to slightly slower bot with a clamp vs faster bot with better pushing power. The crux is that Parasoul, even while clamped, is still able to push Lethal Injection places and shove him in nasty ones. And that's all you're getting. :V Aggression: fuck you Damage: what damage Strategy: i hate you Parasoul "wins", I guess. Ikea's Guard Dog vs. Death Turret 2000 The dude with the turret and -2 control is trying to bait out a wedge bot so he can get to its side, and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In general this is vaguely back and forth in terms of wedging, but Death Turret has the disadvantage of falling over every time it tries to lift, So Ikea's guard dog can still push it around. Also dear jesus I forgot how many flippers this damned arena has so I guess they both get flipped some IDK. Aggression: 9-6 Ikea's Guard Dog Damage: 8-7 Ikea's Guard Dog Strategy: 9-6 Ikea's Guard Dog Your winner, in a 26-19 decision, is Ikea's Guard Dog! Froral Fury vs. Scrunglebot Scrunglebot wins by FF Needles 2.0 vs. Cyclone looks at Pyro's "RP" Umm... Needles wins by WTFF? Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo vs. Tax Cutter So, can Lifter 2 smother Tax Cutter enough to avoid getting cut into pieces. Short answer: no. Long answer: well kind of. I mean with that amount of weapon power it's pretty much impossible for Tax Cutter to not get rebounded into hazards from time to time. Unfortunately for Lifter 2, even getting flipped over doesn't really hurt Tax Cutter's effectiveness and Lifter 2 doesn't quite have that top end speed to really swarm and smother all the time. So while Tax Cutter does spend its share of time rebounding from hits, Lifter 2 is getting steadily more and more torn up and eventually Tax Cutter breaks through enough to hit some vital part of Lifter 2's internals. Tax Cutter wins by KO in 2:14 AFTERMATH CONFERENCE Panzer Strike Mk. II vs. Jack Frost It's time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea. Good Idea Luring a robot to hazards. Bad Idea Luring a robot to hazards when you're slower and the opponent can potentially OHKO you. SMASH The End Jack Frost wins by a knockout in 0:45. Speed Bison vs. Krakatoa Nearly identical stats again. Whoop-dee-doo. Laz is adamant that his control advantage is crucial. Jack seems more convinced the length of Krakatoa's forks will be a difference. WHO'S THE JUDGE??? Me, obviously! And my ruling is that Speed Bison is able to get around Krakatoa far more often and bully him about a bit, while Krakatoa only gets completely under a couple of times, but makes a bit better use of his time by roasting and toasting the piteous fool. However, both bots are able to escape from their predicaments fairly quickly, so it's anyone's guess who won at the end. Aggression: 8-7 Speed Bison Damage: 8-7 Krakatoa Strategy: 8-7 Speed Bison Speed Bison wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision! Metal Heck vs. Space Cadet Space Cadet comes out like a rocket and... is completely wedged by Metal Heck, who wisely decided to use the wedge for this match. Space Cadet is gotten under and smacked about, though Metal Heck really isn't able to do too much damage at all. Eventually Space Cadet wises up to this and starts angling in, and after a few more failed attempts manages to get under Metal Heck and throw him onto his back. From there Space Cadet controls the match, slamming Metal Heck into walls, corners, and goodness knows what else besides. At the end Space Cadet gives BEES what he's asking for, a re-righting. I repeat: at the END. So Metal Heck goes flying through the air, bounces over a few times, and lands right side up. Just as the buzzer goes off. Welp. Aggression: 9-6 Space Cadet Damage: 9-6 Space Cadet Strategy: 10-5 Metal Heck Space Cadet wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Phantasmic Slammer vs. Triple 6 Flipper vs flipper. Nearly the exact same stats. Fuck me. Well it would have been a boring snoozefest with two inadequately powered flippers popping each other about, but Triple 6 has the bright idea of hanging out by one of the floor flippers to start out. Phantasmic Slammer pretty much 'nopes' the bait, angles into Triple 6, gets under and flips. Triple 6 then gets launched by the exact same hazard it intended to lure Slammer to. It rights itself but Slammer's there to counter and flip again. More flips succeed this action and eventually Triple 6 gets out of that conundrum. Okay, NOW it becomes a boring snoozefest. With two inadequately powered flippers popping each other about. :V Who got under more? They each had practically a 50/50 chance. But as the buzzer goes off mercifully 2 minutes later, Slammer's earlier efforts may have snagged him the win. Did it? Aggression: 8-7 Phantasmic Slammer Damage: 8-7 Phantasmic Slammer Strategy: 8-7 Phantasmic Slammer Phantasmic Slammer wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. Howler III vs. Chemical Explosion Yeah so uh TBR's strategy fails epicly. Chem zooms straight into the spinning bar on the side of Howler and gets his own spinner pretty much ripped straight out of its axle. Of course Howler goes flying around like a maniac, but when he finally lands he's okay. Oh look, the sheer tenacity of the first hit actually managed to disable something inside of Chemical Explosion. What a nasty end to the Ruination 3 champ! Howler III wins by a knockout in 0:37. Ravex vs. Khnum I appreciate the irony of complaining about results not being detailed enough when said complaint is almost half as long as your actual RP. Hell I can't even tell if you're planning on being aggressive or passive here. Help us out man, our results can only do as much as your RPs give us to work with! I'm pretty sure that open mouth gap in the front of Ravex is wide enough for me to park my car inside, so a standard-sized SHW like Khunm has space plenty and to spare to angle in and start to push Ravex around. Of course the gag is that almost all ram paths end in either a treadmill or one of the floor flippers, but Gabe isn't too particular. He's all about that slamming life anyway. Khnum controls most of the fight in this fashion. Ravex does wedge Khnum a couple times, but Khnum proves too fast and slippery for Ravex to do much with those opportunities. Aggression: 12-3 Khnum Damage: 15-0 Khnum Strategy: 12-3 Khnum Khnum wins 39-6 Xonotic vs. teh kung ouf beouf The King wins by a forfeit. -------- -------- FIGHT OF THE WEEK Dreadnought Mk 3 vs. Malacoda alllllllrighty folks n fams it's that time, the Match I'm Obligated To Really Care About Because It's Match Of The Week Or Something. Anyways, both bots come out of their technicolored squares and right off the bat, Dreadnought's pretty scared. A few 4-damage hits to anywhere on the robot could be enough to end the match there and then if in just the right places, so Goldiefaux has to compromise. Think Alex, think... He goes for one front corner of Malacoda's wedge in an attempt to back off at the last moment and TRICK Bad Nicholas, but OOOOOOH not today buckeroonie, cus Malacoda double-tricks Dreadnought by reversing in tandem. The robots have learned to tango with the best of em, everyone! That puts us at square 1, except with both robots a little over 5 feet away from each other. For a brief second it looks like the ol western showdown- Alex's Completely Original Design Absolutely Not Cassius Please Donut Steel and Dylan's It's Literally Just Mechavore But Angled Ninety Degrees Wtf facing directly at one another. Dis gun 🐝 gud! Alex decides to do the same thing again thinking that it'll DEFINITELY work the second time in a row that he tries it, while Dylan just goes "buhhhhhhhhhhhhh go straight i guess?????" and presses forward on the analog, Dreadnought's corner landing between Malacoda's prong things. The rest of the robot then proceeds to slide up the wedge with Dreadnought's wheels lifting off the ground right before the rest of the robot does, thanks to Malacoda's discs. Said discs do punch a HUGE (it's huge folks) hole in Dreadnought's under-plate making it look like some swiss cheese looking stuff- but leave the front wedge edge unharmed. Another round of this song and dance happens before Alex (and his now doubly cheesified robot, triply if you count the general design looking like a cheese wedge smh) appearently taps into goddamn Ultra Instinct shit because he manages to zip in with some superhuman instincts (or just luck) and finally catches that wedge right where he wants it, and SMASHES that MF FLIP BUTTON!! I'm writing this at 3:40 AM who tf up?! Malacoda flops around a little, while Dreadnought stops driving like the match is OVER. Is this guy for real? He forgets about how weapon armor works and thinks Badnik's going to do "self-damage" to himself because of his armor bonus or something. Alex picks the controller back up and starts doing robot things again right before Malacoda self-rights. #GotEm Another flip sends Malacoda onto one of the arena's flippers, which sends the vertical for a fun and whimsical ride across the arena before landing on it's side. With a "boink", Malacoda's back on it's feet, with Dreadnought coming in hot on it's tai- whoops nevermind Dreadnought met Malacoda wedge-to-wedge and got bodied. That front wedge is pretty much gone now, with two tears right next to each other. It's pretty much downhill from here as Dreadnought tries to hazard camp, only for Malacoda to wombo combo it into the corner of the arena, where it then gets bopped by the hellraisers I think they're called. The one with a giant-ass spike. I know it's that one because Dreadnought just got harpooned like a whale. The buzzer rings before it's able to be counted out, though. Technically speaking, this goes to a judge's decision. Let's see what they think! ...or not. They all seem to be at home, sleeping. Who judges robot matches at nearly 4 AM anyway? Malacoda wins by KO in 3:00.000000000000000000000000000001
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Mar 25 2018, 02:23 PM Post #5
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 3 LIGHTWEIGHTS DEFIANCE CONFERENCE Hoarfrost vs. Sir Morphsalot When Neon says "just charge at it until it breaks", is the second "it" his own robot? Because he is not once able to get underneath Hoarfrost, who basically throws him all over the arena and into the hazards until they kill him. Better luck next time, fam. Hoarfrost wins by a knockout in 1:30. Blitz Mk. III vs. Ayame Oi ain't this a lovely matchup? Ya wankers. Something something >a fucking tea leaf, smh @ u britbongs Double smh for both going "hurr I'm just going to angle in". Especially you LRA2, mr. "I'm gonna try to angle in despite having thin, flankable forks and slower speed than my opponent". I'm throwing in a third smh because I can, and steeeeerike three! Get this guy, outta this game! Anywho Blitz basically gets roflstomped 6 ways from sunday and goes 0-5 for the week because of this. The whole "His firestorm-esque beveled back should assist him in getting away, so immediately flip before he does this" bit of strategy along with anything else relating to how he plans on taking Ayame to the hazards never actually comes into play because Blitz's slow ass is too busy getting tipped onto it's side by Ayame. Avalanche tries putting that SUPER HARDCORE ONE POINT TORQUE ADVANTAGE to work, but surprisingly enough it does nothing. Who would have thought? Ayame flips and shoves Blitz around for a minute. It's fun, I guess. Then GF93 gets a delightfully devilish idea and brings Blitz to the pinball prong things, where the unfortunate yellow-black flipper receives the hardest, loudest ass-slap this side of the pond has ever seen. So hard, in fact, that the entirety of Blitz's insides just get instantly crunched like a bunch of week-old potato chips. 2 armor was a mistake. Ayame wins by KO in 1:20. Flash Flood vs. Tidal Wave II The two water-themed bots circle around each other. Flash Flood looks to outflank using its speed, Tidal wave keeping the front facing forward at all costs. Flash Flood does have enough of a speed advantage to achieve its goal eventually, and gets a good slam in, but the fight doesn’t end there. Now inverted, Tidal’s forks get under and its over-handed weapon takes a bite of Flash Flood’s wedge. The wedge is a bit off-kilter against the floor after this as both bots are flung away. In an attempt to get around the front forks, Flash Flood gets goaded into the bumpers and takes a bite, but nothing major. Another collision and Flash Flood gets another flip in. Tidal Wave lands conveniently close and gets a solid shot on Flash Flood before the end though, sending a panel off the side as the buzzer sounds. Aggression – 10-5 Flash Flood Damage – 10-5 Tidal Wave II Strategy – 10-5 Flash Flood Flash Flood wins a 25-20 decision Nervous Wedge Boy vs. Bluebot The steepness of NWB's ends up making it a bit easier for Bluebot to make contact with its weapon. Granted all those hits don't really contribute much in terms of meaningful damage, but he is able to knock Wedge Boy a fair few times. Seeing things going poorly is a catalyst for NWB to try to get a little trickier and he tries to make the most of his drive advantages and manages to force Bluebot into the spring at one point, launching it across the arena. The slot gets triggered a couple times, but only hits the “jackpot” near the end of the match with not enough time for either bot to take advantage of it. Aggression: 9-6 Nervous Wedge Boy Damage: 11-4 Bluebot Strategy: 8-7 Bluebot Bluebot wins 25-20 Mushroom Cloud vs. La Valette So Alex takes the defensive stance and starts backing away into a corner while Mushroom Cloud just flings himself at the death spinner. Syl isn't able to stop the weapon from getting to full speed before there is a colossal BANG and both bots go flying, though Mushroom Cloud seems more the tortoise to La Valette's hare. A hare jacked up on caffeine, that is, because he goes flying all over the arena. Half of Mushroom Cloud's flipper has been just ripped away, leaving the top half flapping, but he seems mobile enough and tries to get to La Valette as the latter finally comes to rest. In doing so, he runs over La Valette's square, activating the slots. Tails, Tails... Tails! Hoo boy. For the first time, the hazards become souped up for this tournament. Not that Mushroom Cloud is having any luck. While he did actually get to La Valette, the spinner was still strong enough to smash the exposed pneumatics on Mushroom Cloud. Of course, while Mushroom Cloud is starting to spout smoke, La Valette goes into its spectacular maiden flight again, though less dramatically than before. What adds to the drama, however, is La Valette bouncing into one of the springs on the side wall of the arena, which shoots him straight into the waiting Mushroom Cloud! Mushroom Cloud is moving a bit slower, but thanks to the rip in the flipper he's able to keep a more secure hold on La Valette, who is not looking so hot now he's not spinning, and off they go to the hammer! Alex sees it coming and, as best he can, tries to manoeuvre so that the hammer hits the blade instead of the body, but the first hit directly strikes his chassis and there is already some massive damage done to La Valette! The thin frame has been almost completely smashed in! Alex keeps trying to get hammer blows to avoid the body, but is not getting his wish as a second blow makes La Valette look decidedly concave, with the wheels actually bent upwards. Mushroom Cloud tries to keep him in position, but the next blow comes down on La Valette's weapon support, pretty much destroying it, but at that sudden hit Mushroom Cloud has had all it can take and stops moving. Not that La Valette has any mobile function left either - one wheel is still spinning but the chassis has been severely warped by the hammer hits, enough where it's spinning in the air! It's a double KO! Aggression: 15-0 Mushroom Cloud Damage: 12-3 La Valette Strategy: 9-6 La Valette Mushroom Cloud wins by a 24-21 judges' decision! Witness Me! vs. The Servant's Assistant 4 Witness Me wins out in the early going, slipping underneath the corners of the TSA scoop and giving it some solid flips. TSA manages to self-right swiftly with the axe, only with a few sparks from the killsaws for its trouble, and after a couple more attempts, gets the clamp it was looking for. The axe comes in, assembly goes up, and WM kinda dangles there, hooked by the axe via the piping on its flipper. The duo arrive at the pulverizers, and each shot WM takes lifts the back of TSA off the ground. Some precarious balance happening there with the Ectogasm machine. WM is released, and boy does he look pissed! He charges straight back in, bulldozes under TSA, and FLIP! TSA balances on its axe head and goes through the full 360, but can now get straight under WM again with the flipper raised. The axe can't come into play until the flipper retracts, however, WM tries to squirrel away before it does so, but the axe comes in and WM is caught again. Up goes the scoop, and WM is left hanging from one side awkwardly. TSA attempts to turn towards the hammers again, but topples over, and has to release WM to get back on its tracks. WM scores a number of good flips in the remainder of the fight, managing to get a little hazard action too, but TSA4 absorbs it well, and when it gets a grip on WM, really directs the fight. WM eats some more pulverizer shots and can't seem to get away until TSA4 allows it, which leaves it hanging in midair when the buzzer sounds. Aggression: 9-6 Witness Me! Damage: 8-7 The Servant's Assistant 4 Strategy: 10-5 The Servant's Assistant 4 By a 24-21 decision, your winner, The Servant's Assistant 4! Eat Me Too vs. GREEN BRICK Memes. Aggression: fuck Damage: this Strategy: shit Eat Me Too wins by I Couldn't Be Arsed To Put A Set Of Values Here VENGEANCE CONFERENCE Pinstripe vs. Dr. Robotnik Honestly, what can you say about a fight between two high powered spinners? A bit, admittedly. Robotnik backs into a corner, depriving Pinstripe of a chance to go after his sides. Pinstripe doesn't actually do that, though. He goes weapon to weapon! SMASH!!! Pieces of shield go flying in all directions, but Pinstripe just barely managed to catch onto Robotnik's bar and is sent flying, while Robotnik is forced right back into the corner. Damage report? Pinstripe more or less has no shield anymore, while Robotnik has a small piece taken out of the bar. It also appears to be slightly bent upwards. Robotnik stays right where he is. Interesting. He seems to be adjusting the blade, hoping to hit one of Jack's wheels. Nothing doing. Pinstripe comes in again and this time we get a monumental explosion of sparks as the two weapons meet. Robotnik goes flying into the air as Pinstripe is knocked silly, and when the bots land we now see that Pinstripe's... "drisc"? weapon is bent slightly to the left, while one of the teeth on Robotnik's bar is nearly torn off and the bar is even more bent than before. Which means we now have an unstable Robotnik. Pinstripe isn't looking too happy either but at least he's spinning properly. One more hit bends Robotnik's weapon enough to where he can't spin it up anymore, but Pinstripe's own weapon is knocked askew and he has to spin it at a lower speed to keep stable. So... dumb pushing match anyone? Ugh. Aggression: 13-2 Pinstripe Damage: 10-5 Dr. Robotnik Strategy: 9-6 Dr. Robotnik Pinstripe wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. HIRricaine vs. Experiment 626 Experiment 626 wins by FF The Thieving Magpie vs. Anti-Virus So Anti-Virus speed out of his square, and Magpie is content to sit and wait. Probably wise since it has a fair advantage in lowness and enough speed to reasonably keep AV at bay when it tries angling-in. Kody is trying his luck with the forks first (something something physics formulas), but just can't quite get that lucky break on getting under the flipper. However AV is at least slippery enough to back away quickly at the first sign of the forks riding up that wedge. So I'm sad to say very little exciting happens for awhile. Persistence eventually pays off though and AV finally manages to wedge Magpie. AV pushes Magpie with all possible hast towards the nearest hazard, which in this case happens to be the floor spinner. It packs a nice punch and gives the backside of Magpie a good smack, knocking Magpie away. Luckily for Magpie it ends up having a nice little opening to repay the favor to AV. Magpie wedges AV and gives it a flip. AV lands on top of the floor spinner and there's an alarming moment for Kody where it looks like AV might have gotten high centered on the hazard, but a little bit of furious work at the controls gets AV free. Of course Magpie is waiting there to greet AV with another flip that sends AV tumbling to the wall paddle-flippers. AV is spared more chain flipping by driving towards the opposite end of the arena. Magpie closes the gap a bit while AV gets the forks pointed at Magpie. We get a bit more of the same original stalemate we started with until AV angles in enough to drive Magpie towards the hammer. Magpie is working hard to get free and manages to slide off, avoiding the hammer. But AV is right there to stay on Magpie's case and settles for pushing it towards the wall paddles. Magpie is knocked away, and that's where we end up leaving this one as the buzzer sounds soon afterward. Aggression: 10-5 Anti-Virus Damage: 10-5 The Thieving Magpie Strategy: 8-7 Anti-Virus Anti-Virus wins 23-22 Exotherm vs. Cream Sorry Spats but that's not how things work here... unfortunately. In any case the chains pretty much by-pass the "vader mask" and hit Exotherm's 5 armoured body... wow. I think something just exploded inside of Exotherm there. I don't think I need to elaborate. Cream wins by a knockout in 0:38. White Lightning vs. Nick's Fuzzy Rules Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a wedge-off! Get on the edge of your seats for this one, then lean back, put up your feet, and pull out your phones because this is going to be a real snoozefest. W0lf's White Lightning is faster than Gabe's N.F.R. by a third, but both of the robots are quite speedy so this only gives him a slight advantage. He uses that to try to angle in on NFR, but "those purple things" are still forks and not too easy to get under. The fork gets under WL's flipper, though WL's forks get under the body of NFL, and they're now locked together. Gabe brings the grinder arm down, but it isn't making contact with WL. They try pushing each other around and kind of go in circles. Someone in the audience coughs. The match continues more or less along the same lines. White Lightning gets under Nick's Fuzzy Rules a bit more than the other way around, but only gets a couple flips in and NFL rights itself quickly each time. NFL gets a little action with its polishing wheel, but only for a couple seconds before WL slips out of its grasp. They eventually get into a protracted pushing match, in which Nick's Fuzzy Rules slowly pushes White Lightning over toward the spinner. As they get close, W0lf suddenly reverses and dodges away to the side, hopeing Gabe will drive into the spinner. Gabe's able to stop in time and chases after him, hoping to get underneath from behind, but White Lightning is too fast for Nick's Fuzzy Rules to catch. The buzzer sounds at last, waking a few audience members who had fallen asleep. The judges, thankfully, had plenty of caffeine. Their scores: Aggression: 8-7 White Lightning Damage: 8-7 White Lightning Strategy: 9-6 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Nick's Fuzzy Rules wins on a 23-22 judges' decision. Electric Agression vs. Ramshock I don't know what TBR is trying to achieve exactly but I assume he wanted to ramp over the lifter. Well, since Ramshock wasn't exactly expecting it, I guess it works to a degree. EA (not the company) slides off the side and clamps Ramshock, but Pat's lifter gives him some trouble by being quite irritating to push around, due to still having half his wheels on the ground. TBR looks around for some killsaws but unfortunately Casino Night Zone is not supplied with saws. Brad sulks in the stands. Anyway the next time TBR attempts his tactic, Pat pretty much stops him right there and slams him into the wall, near the bumper. It goes on like this until the end of the match. Thankfully EA managed to escape all hazards, but never achieved his beginning tactic again. Aggression: 8-7 Ramshock Damage: 8-7 Electric Agression Strategy: 8-7 Ramshock Ramshock wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. The Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins vs. Yellow Buzzard The Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins win by a forfeit. ---- MIDDLEWEIGHTS ANNIHILATION CONFERENCE Diablo Genesis vs. Instigator Let's not waste time here. Instigator tries, but Diablo is able to get the better of him and flip. From there, he clamps and takes Instigator to both hazards which, although Instigator has decent armour, manage to kill him after a while. Diablo Genesis wins by a knockout in 1:44. Sundancer vs. Biological Warfare In an admittedly creative application of the lifter, Biological Warfare looks to use it as a makeshift shield. And BW's speed advantage is enough, so that even with Sundancer's strafing ability, BW is able to keep Sundancer from circling around it entirely. However, a hammer blow from Sundancer pretty much smashes the lifter back down to the floor with ease, and with only 1 power, it simply cannot operate fast enough to get back into protection position. So the next hammer shot from Sundancer strikes home on the chassis. BW backs away enough to lifter back into defense position, but again Sundancer knocks it down effortlessly. With limited space to run to now, BW slowly ends up becoming hammer fodder and a few more shots on the chassis eventually cause enough damage to put BW down for the count. Sundancer wins by KO in 1:58 Harpy vs. Kid A Well the best thing you could say about this match is that it was very short. Kid A came out with the jaws open, and got under, clamping down. Unfortunately Harpy still had the pushing advantage and Kid A didn't have the best leverage for a lift, so off they went to the hammer. It took several seconds since Kid A is no slouch, but eventually Harpy got him under the spot and one single hit was enough to completely annihilate Kid A's body armour, immobilizing him. Harpy wins by a knockout in 0:54. G.B.J. vs. The Maw The Maw kind of reminds me of an old classic Heavyweight (80kg) bot I had on the old Robot Wars Discussion Forum. The name and the design were similar. Anyhoo, G.B.J. actually manages to get under quite a lot of the time despite its shoddy control disparity. The Maw shakes itself loose only to be quickly scooped up again a lot of the time. For the record, G.B.J.'s saw does barely anything of note other than causing some cool sparks, and The Maw does actually get around the dustpan a few times by taking advantage of his better control, but is unable to really corral G.B.J. to a hazard. The match ends with neither robot really having done that much to each other. Aggression: 9-6 G.B.J. Damage: 8-7 G.B.J. Strategy: 9-6 The Maw G.B.J. wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Magnolia Pico vs. Stingray Um, Pico doesn't have a turret speed of 9, Nick. In fact, in this config it doesn't even have a turret at all? Were you wasted when writing that RP? Regardless, Stingray comes out pretty confident, but somewhat cautious at the same time. It looks like he's trying to bait Pico into firing the hammer. Pico does, Stingray moves backwards to avoid it, then pounces! Unfortunately Pico is able to pivot by retracting the front legs, so when Stingray fires the bar actually rides up the plow! Fatal error. Pico moves in and starts beating the absolute crap out of Stingray while he's trying to retract the bar. 5 or 6 hits later, he does, and scoots away. Alex is flabbergasted that Stingray is still alive, but keeps up with his tactic and eventually Stingray gets caught again. One more hit causes Stingray to stop moving. Nick runs off flipping rude hand gestures, but Alex simply scowls. Magnolia Pico wins by knockout in 1:56. Magica vs. Lulver Nothing to "lul" about here. Lulver wins by a forfeit. Harbinger vs. Eye of n00t Eye of N00t spins up, but heads away from Harbinger. I assume it's to get that large drum up to speed. Harbinger starts towards him, although a bit cautiously. I noticed that Harbinger isn't running the plow setup, but EoN being a drum spinner, it makes sense. Because of that, however, Harbinger needs to be real careful of N00t's drum-one wrong move... One thing that Harby's got on EoN is speed and it shows. EoN circles back around towards Harbinger, now that it's drum is at full speed. Harbinger easily flanks it, causing N00t's side to ride up the wedge. The drum throws sparks as it grinds to a stop while Harbinger slams it into the corner spinner hazard, which hits EoN hard and tosses it back towards its starting square. One side of Eye of N00t appears to have been heavily damaged from the combination of the force of the impact from Harbinger and the power of the hazard itself. EoN limps along, but is still able to power its drum up. harbinger simply flanks it once again and delivers N00t into the hammer in the opposite corner. A few hammer blows later, N00t is heavily smoking and not moving. Here's the countout....and 10! harbinger wins by KO in 1:54! REVOLUTION CONFERENCE Mole Butcher vs. WhipCoil Short RPs means short result. WhipCoil mercilessly angles in, grabs Mole Butcher and holds it under the hazards. Which hazard? It doesn't matter - it pretty much kills Mole Butcher. Use your imagination. Of course it takes a while since Mole Butcher's armour value isn't exactly that of a screen door, but WhipCoil is persistent. And eventually... WhipCoil wins by a knockout in 1:13. Plata O Plomo vs. Patchouli So if we cut the shit and get down to brass tacks on this one, this fight comes down to PoP avoiding the weapon for 3 minutes or until he's able to get Patchouli killed by hazards, whichever comes first. Can Kody do it? Well he's put to the test early as Patchouli slaloms across the arena towards PoP, but PoP has a good enough control advantage to take a safe path around and makes for Patchouli's vacated square. He triggers the slot. Sonic.... Sonic... SONIC! Well now, are we ready for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change? That's at least phase one of Kody's plan that worked. Unfortunately that was the easy part and there's still the reality of avoiding that weapon and somehow managing to actually deliver Patchouli to one of these hazards. Patchouli is still pursuing PoP like some kind of drunken samurai, but PoP is very careful to keep his distance from that. Eventually PoP manages to exploit the control issues of Patchouli enough to get around to the back and the spinner ends up with a no expense paid trip to one of the paddle-flippers. That powerful spinner bar connects with the hazard and CRUNCH! Holy shit, that paddle-flipper has been completely torn from the wall. Patchouli goes skittering across the arena and away from PoP. He manages to get the spinner back up to speed before PoP can close the gap, and so PoP has to try to get around the weapon again. We're about 2/3 of the way through the fight, this one might go down to the wire yet. Unluckily for Kody, Patchouli's highly erratic and often unpredictable control eventually lead to Patchouli getting that death blow on PoP. PoP is torn wide open and obviously not going to be moving any more. Patchouli wins by KO in 2:41 Remi IV vs. Metal 2 The two bots spin up, but Metal 2 is already advancing! Aggression points for that robot. Now Remi starts moving out, the two circle in an attempt to get position, Remi's drum catches a tooth on Metal 2, sending it briefly doing that gyro-hover on the spot thing that spinners somtimes do-POW! Big hit from Remi, Metal 2 soars into the air, bouncing around as it comes down, skittering into the wall and kicking itself onto its head! Remi approaches, drum up to speed should Metal find a way back onto its wheels, but while the taller spinner is jumping around slightly, it doesn't seem to be able to right itself. The count ticks down, and the match is over! Remi IV wins by KO in 0:53 Marauder vs. Lupi ...yeeeaaah. This is your basic "rammer hits a hockey puck around the arena for 3 minutes" match. Admittedly Marauder did take some considerable damage to the faceplate near the end but the angle of the hits lessened the blows, and meanwhile Lupi pretty much skittered around like some crackhead, bouncing into walls and shit. Hazards? No thanks, Lupi avoided them. Marauder however completely refused to be even mildly slowed down, so to the judges we go. Aggression: 13-2 Marauder Damage: 15-0 Lupi Strategy: 10-5 Marauder Marauder wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Glitch vs. The Magpie Effect Let me open by gushing a bit. Both of these bots are statted audaciously as fuck and I love it, especially The Magpie Effect. That said, Jamie’s strategy has a bit of an issue with it: he says to start inverted if Gabe is going for his wedge. The problem is that he has no way of knowing before the fight what Gabe plans to do unless Gabe either tells him or comes in wearing an extra-large t-shirt that says “Will go for wedges”. Unfortunately for Jamie, neither happens, but Gabe does, indeed, go for his wedge. The Magpie Effect tries to ‘gyro over’ so that it can reach the promised land of ‘inverted’, but this isn’t an exact science and it takes a few tries to get right. Of course, Glitch doesn’t just let it have these for free. Fortunately for Jamie, it whiffs the first time due to some partially tricky and partially lucky gyroscopic fuckery. It corrects and manages to go weapon to weapon while The Magpie Effect is doing a sidestand, which has interesting consequences for both bots (read: they go flying). Finally, it’s able to basically tear up and mangle The Magpie Effect’s wedge. Ouch, but it doesn’t result in a one hit KO because it’s a wedge that probably has little to zero electronics or essentials in it. However, the damaged piece of bodywork manages to get in the way of the drum, which is bad. Jamie’s reduced to tanking hits on it without being able to effectively dish out any in return. With both bots being quick, neither is really able to gain a huge positional advantage, though Magpie Effect does seem to be trying to maneuver its damaged wedge into the path of Glitch’s weapon in the hope that it’ll be torn straight off, freeing his drum. This eventually pays dividends as the clock is winding down, and his battered drum (it’s taken a good number of hits from its opponent’s weapon) actually spins up and is able to return some offense, though it’s still making a godawful scraping sound. A couple of weapon-to-weapon exchanges later, and a fight that seemed destined for a quick KO is going to the judges. Aggression: 8-7 Glitch Damage: 11-4 Glitch Strategy: 9-6 Glitch Glitch wins a 28-17 judges’ decision Raus Mk. IV vs. Heaven Jaws 3 Raus wins by FF Killing Intent vs. Clown Recluse So... needless to say, Clown Recluse is pretty much boned here. He goes vertical, Killing Intent angles in on him. He goes horizontal... uhh... well he didn't actually go horizontal until Killing Intent was right underneath him, and by then he couldn't actually hit anything, since Killing Intent was too far underneath. Killing Intent is able to keep up with Clown Recluse when the latter tries pulling away, and herds him into walls and hazards. At one point the spinner manages to nearly rip off one of Clown Recluse's tires, making him hobble. From there, Killing Intent is able to push him around easier. Unfortunately he doesn't get the knockout he was hoping for. Aggression: 9-6 Killing Intent Damage: 10-5 Killing Intent Strategy: 10-5 Killing Intent Killing Intent wins by a 29-16 judges' decision.
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Mar 25 2018, 02:23 PM Post #6
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 3 (continued) HEAVYWEIGHTS REDEMPTION CONFERENCE Devil's Verdict vs. Lunatic Udonge Another classic case of not much interesting going on for a little while! LU is trying to avoid going directly at the dustpan and DV only cares about keeping the dustpan pointed at LU. Even with strafing to contend with, DV is able to keep the dustpan front and center for decent while. Eventually LU has to try his luck with angling in and just barely manages to get under the edge of the dustpan. Unfortunately it’s not a great angle to score a really good flip, but LU manages to toss DV away a fair amount just through sheer power. The next time LU isn’t quite so lucky and gets scooped up in the dustpan, and isn’t able to get completely free before getting clamped. DV begins a very slow process of dragging LU towards the hammer. LU manages to throw the clamps off by firing the flipper, but isn’t able to get free of the dustpan and ends up taking a couple painful looking shots from the hammer. More desperation driving manages to get LU free before some really serious amounts of damage can pile up. In the resulting confusion, LU is able to use the omni-drive to wedge DV from a more favorable angle and give it a much better flip this time. DV ends up in front on one of the wall springs which launches it almost clear across the arena. LU follows, but doesn’t quite get to DV before DV is able to get the dustpan pointed at him again. LU is scooped up again, but now that there on the other side of the arena, Kody has to rely on the bumper spinner. He just manages to get LU there before it’s able to wriggle free and LU takes a big shot to the backside. It knocks LU out of DV’s clutches however and LU is able to come in with one last flip before the fight concludes. Aggression: 11-4 Lunatic Undonge Damage: 10-5 Devil’s Verdict Strategy: 8-7 Devil’s Verdict Lunatic Undonge wins 23-22 Dysprosinator vs. Flashback Needless to say, Dysprosinator practically owns this fight. He angles in mercilessly on Flashback and gets under the control spinner fairly often. And speaking of spinners, Flashback finds himself being corralled to the one: the bumper! WHAP! There goes a wheel! With only three wheels left, Flashback is pretty much a dead duck, and Gulden taps out. Dysprosinator wins by a technical knockout in 1:12. Sinmill vs. Hazardous Waste Removal Welp, there's not much interesting to say here except they hit each other a fair few amount of times. It's pretty damn impressive looking each time, but at the end of the day it's still two big weapons colliding over and over again. Inevitably both weapons die and HWR tries to utilize its plow wedge to nudge Sinmill along, but doesn't really get to far with it. Aggression: 9-6 Hazardous Waste Removal Damage: 8-7 Sinmill Strategy: 8-7 Hazardous Waste Removal Hazardous Waste Removal wins 24-21 Flandre Scarlett vs. Wedgelord Well I'm pretty sure we know what kind of fight to expect here. Wedgelord is in the business of tanking hits and eats a few of them as Flandre hockey-pucks around the arena. Flandre is reasonably fortunate in avoiding hazards outside of a few glancing hits from the paddle-flippers here and there, and meanwhile Wedgelord's front is getting steadily torn up more and more as the fight goes on. One of the best deflections for Wedgelord sent Flandre bouncing into the spinner, but I think Flandre might have done more harm to the hazard than it did in return honestly. The fight ends with Wedgelord still chugging along with it's mangled up front, but Flandre's weapon seems pretty worn down from bouncing along and such. Aggression: 12-3 Wedgelord Damage: 11-4 Flandre Scarlett Strategy: 9-6 Flandre Scarlett Flandre Scarlett wins 23-22 Duck King vs. Neglected Waterbug Whee, 6-point control disparity. Duck King glides about like a duck on an ice-skating rink while Neglected Waterbug watches bemusedly, then moves in to attack when Duck King slips up. Which is pretty much 100% of the time. Noah pretty much has a laugh as he punts the duck (not the Duck from the Oddestsey, mind you) around the arena, not bothering with the hazards, and it pretty much goes on like an old Merrie Melodies or Tex Avery skit. Aggression: 9-6 Neglected Waterbug Damage: 15-0 Neglected Waterbug Strategy: 15-0 Neglected Waterbug Neglected Waterbug wins by a 39-6 judges' decision. Narsiccistic Hot-Shot vs. Cutthroat Hmmm, looks like Pyro is still MIA, shame, he has such beautiful robots! Cutthroat wins via FF! America Offline vs. Chad the Inhaler OH MY GOD CHAD HAS LIKE FUCKING 12 SPEED AND 10 TRACTION SO YOU KNOW HE EASILY GETS UNDER AMERICA OFFLINE'S SIDE AND STARTS THROWING HIM AROUND UNTIL SYL ACTUALLY GETS A DECENT SHOT - whoops. America Offline wins by a knockout in 0:59. RECKONING CONFERENCE Magnolia Grande vs. Mr. Bight Sky Knockout potential threatened on every hit. That's what Alex appears to be taking as immediate OHKO. Well he doesn't get a OHKO, although that's more to the fact that Mr. Bight Sky took a hit to the flipper instead and got violently shunted away, the weapon bent. He tries again. Grande hits body this time! No OHKO. Mr. Bight Sky is still moving, though he's moving much slower than before. SMASH! Okay, now he's dead. Magnolia Grande wins by a knockout in 1:09. Redemption Denied vs. Dreadnought Mk 3 This match sucks. Dreadnought tries to angle in, which makes it easier for Redemption Denied to get at his own corners. Flip. Dreadnought is flipped. Cue the chains! Woohoo! Flip party! Wait, Dreadnought escapes. This match sucks. Wedge time! This time Dreadnought gets under. Flip! Whee! Some chain flips from Dreadnought now, ultimately culminating in Redemption Denied being upside-down but free at last. Flip? Self-right. Dreadnought's there? Flip! Flipping hell. Over the course of the match Dreadnought realizes he's getting under more and gets more aggressive, and late in the match Redemption Denied gets a wagon fulla pancakes - uh I mean he gets pancaked by the hammer. He gets away though, but perhaps that was the decisive blow Dreadnought needed, as time runs out in the match. Who managed to best the other? Aggression: 8-7 Dreadnought Mk 3 Damage: 11-4 Dreadnought Mk 3 Strategy: 9-6 Dreadnought Mk 3 Dreadnought Mk 3 wins by a 28-17 judges' decision. Klarinette vs. Malacoda First off, a lifter is a lifter is a lifter. That is to say, generic lifters in ARC do not entirely reflect the lifters IRL and they never have, unless you want to call all of Chris, Josh, Alex Mac, Dylan P, John, Minion-Paul, Philip, Joe, Steve... pretty much all of the ARC illuminati body wrong. Every single writer has been writing them that way until apparently a few years or so ago, when the new batch of writers started coming in. I'm not going to tell them how to write their matches, but I've been writing them the same way for years and I don't intend to stop now unless they are directly specified in the description that they break away from the norm. Now, rotary lifters can be used in ARC. I have nothing against them. However, again they have to be specified in the description that they ARE rotary lifters, otherwise I will treat them like a generic lifter and write them as such. Thank you. Sorry, had to get that off my chest. Now, the fight. (^ apparently this is me complaining too much or whatever. Yeah I give up.) Klarinette and Malacoda pretty much go right at each other and just before they meet, Klarinette pushes her lifter down. We get a bit of a stalemate as 2WD wedges and lifters kind of cancel each other out. Then Malacoda starts to squeeze under. Klarinette backs the fuck up but Malacoda keeps coming, so they deadlock again. Malacoda continues to win the wedge war, surprising Lian. Klarinette continues to back off, giving Dylan some confidence as he aggressively moves forward. However, the next time they meet, Klarinette actually gets under. Well shit. Klarinette starts to lift, but Malacoda still has his tires on the ground, and as Klarinette tries to push forward while lifting Malacoda spins about and manages to fall off the lifter, weapon still up to full speed and immediately a threat to the three-time champ. Wasting no time Malacoda moves back in and manages to strike Klarinette's upraised lifter, not really doing much damage but causing Klarinette to jump a little. Malacoda moves further in and knocks Klarinette over! Well! That did some damage! Klarinette's front end, behind the lifter, has a nice little cut in it, and what's worse is that Klarinette now has to run away while trying to rotate the lifter back around. Malacoda pursues Klarinette relentlessly, and manages to actually get some good hits before Klarinette can rotate the lifter back into place. Now furious, Klarinette crashes into Malacoda with the lifter, and manages to get under him again. This time Malacoda isn't quick enough to get away and Klarinette lifts him over. SMACK! Malacoda hits the ground with the discs and goes careening across the floor! Klarinette ambles after the vertical spinner as fast as she can, and sadly is greeted by the wedges, which get under her again. The problem is that Malacoda isn't up to full speed so Klarinette just gets shunted back a bit, but more importantly off the wedges. She dives in again and manages to slide underneath Malacoda, but thankfully Dylan manages to sneak off to the side. He cannot attack quickly enough before Klarinette can get the lifter back in his face though, so we get another head-on meeting. Klarinette gets under completely again and this time maintains control enough to lift Malacoda back over, but the discs manage to propel him off the ground and away from Klarinette again. As Klarinette lunges cross-arena at him, the buzzer sounds, and what a spectacle that was! Aggression: 10-5 Klarinette Damage: 14-1 Malacoda Strategy: 11-4 Klarinette Malacoda wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision! Infrared vs. Micro Cuts This doesn't last too long at all. Micro Cuts can't exactly flank a more controlled bot who is only marginally slower than him so he just goes at the drum. Conversely, Infrared tries some angling-in himself (at the last minute - see? I read the RP! :V) but that doesn't work either and they just end up meeting head-on. Infrared starts messing up Micro Cuts' front end while Micro Cuts tries herding him towards the hazards. The cutting continues and Micro Cuts is looking more and more expired, but eventually they get to the hammer and Infrared takes a massive hit. Immediately he starts emitting large quantities of smoke, but one more drum hit later Micro Cuts is not moving. Which is just as well, because one more hammer hit and Infrared isn't moving either. But since he conked out second... Infrared wins by a knockout in 1:02. Charybdis vs. Nyam Nyam Nya Protip: literally stating that you're going to lose in your RP post probably means that things won't end well for your bot. This match pretty much lasts 15 whole seconds since Jamie's strategy amounts to "drive my 7 armor pontoons with a bunch of grabbable corners on them into the scary 16 speed melty". That puts me in a real tight spot as the match writer because I need to find a way to make this match entertaining for the reader. So, uh... I'll try. <==LAST TIME ON ADVANCED ROBOT COMBAT==/=\=/ w0lf got pissy and broke a table in half with cdg's hammer after losing his 204763280th match in a row or something who cares <==AND NOW FOR THE NEWEST EPISODE OF ADVANCED ROBOT COMBAT==/=\=/ "N-no!" Monsterworks cried out. "I thought we were brothers! In this together, until the very end!" Stoically, Madman turned his head away from Monsterworks. "I know." He flatly stated. "But... there is one thing that's more important to me. More than anything else in the world... and that's maKING PEOPLE EAT DICKS YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! Madman then grabs HFL's controller! "Hey that's my bot dude. Don't you already have, like, 2 of your own in this tourney?" is the only thing he's able to rebutt with, before Madman holds the dual-stick above his head, opens his mouth insanely, and pressed the bright red button conveniently labelled "spin". As a result, Charybdis started to spin! Really fast! Wow! A golden-yellow circle of sparks starts to trail the robot's white-hot teeth! In a calm manner, Madman took in the sight. "So, this is melty energy... not bad." Nyan nyan whatever mecha catbot then made the utter mistake of driving right into Charybdis' whirlwind attack. "DIE!!" Madman loudly shouts, before sending his opponent to the shadow realm, never to be seen again. Until next sunday/monday, when it'll be seen again for week 4's match. Jamied stared blankly at the black mark that marked where his bot used to be. "This is fuckin' dumb." He said unamused, before exiting the booth to grab a bite at a fast food joint and figure out what just happened. Charybdis wins by fatality. Flawless victory. Coup de Grâce vs. Death Metal I never would have guessed there was very much difference at all in Death Metal being inverted, but I'll take Danielle's word for it. I'm sure she would know much better than me in this case anyway. So last time for these two was a bloodbath and I'm not expecting much different here, so let's get this show on the road! Basically both end up trudging towards each other and come at each other so suddenly that Death Metal makes contact with Coup before the hammer can swing down and hit the spinner. Coup takes a shot to that translucent protection bubble and a small piece of it is actually chipped off. Both bots recuperate and go at it again. Death Metal scores another shot, but isn't as lucky at avoid the hammer this time. Still a dent on the weapon support area seems a fair trade-off for chewing off a big chunk of that support bubble, leaving the hammer axis quite exposed now. Another shot connects on the hammer axis itself, but that proves tougher to damage than the bubble. Death Metal lands a couple more shots, but Coup lands a couple more hits of his own. One final collision later and it looks like both weapons have been killed. Coup tries to use the last remaining moments of the fight to wedge Death Metal, but DM is able to play keep away until the buzzer. Aggression: 9-6 Coup de Grâce Damage: 10-5 Death Metal Strategy: 9-6 Death Metal Death Metal wins 25-20 Golden Blaze vs. Meanstreak Mystic didn't show up, but we've still got the contractual rights to his robot and we're putting it in the arena anyway! It'll be driven today by our regular "backup driver," a specially trained monkey. Meanstreak comes screaming out of its starting square and crashes into Golden Blaze. The monkey fiddles with the controls, and just before impact, Golden Blaze turns sideways and raises its self-righting arm. Meanstreak's drum wasn't fully up to speed, so Golden Blaze isn't flipped all the way over. But Laz continues to bully Golden Blaze around, and our monkey is just not getting the hang of the controls. GB ends up under the hammer, finally, and after a few blows the referees call the match. Don't worry Bastien, we've got specially trained repair monkeys as well. Meanstreak wins by forfeit. ---- SUPERHEAVYWEIGHTS CARNAGE CONFERENCE Scrunglebot vs. Needles 2.0 GIANT SAW. DOES... SOMETHING. Unfortunately not really enough to counter-act the armour of damage Needles does to Scrunglebot, especially when Needles backs off to avoid being hit at all. Not that the saw really does much anyway when it hits, but they're repeated hits, so they eventually DO do... SOMETHING. Unfortunately Scrunglebot's wedges don't fall under the Parabolic Trajectory rule so his armour is low enough to the point where all those blows over the course of the match from Needles cause Scrunglebot to stop moving. Needles 2.0 wins by a knockout in 2:21. Cyclone vs. Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo wins by FF Danger Noodle vs. Tax Cutter The arena soon fills with the death hum of two extreme weapons of gratuitous violence and destruction, as I retreat to the safety of my reinforced static caravan. Sloooooowly they move towards one another, as the audience's anticipation grows. Eventually first contact is made with a BANG, and Tax Cutter is turned away from Danger Noodle, slowly lowering its blade back down, the drum meanwhile knocked to one side, and it appears to be jumping on the spot slightly. Perhaps something was knocked off from that hit. The thrum of weapon motors rises once again, and DN this time appears to be trying to get around TC? Kody, though, looks wary, and TC is simply turning, keeping that fearsome blade pointed at its prey. Just before impact, DN abruptly hits the brakes, turning the drum face-on, and TC pounces! SMASH! Weapon meets weapon, and the two are thrown apart once again, only this time DN starts tumbling on its 12 wheels, its drum has stopped! That last hit from Tax Cutter must have jammed something up inside it. A chase ensues, and TC actually has some trouble getting at the fleeing DN, but eventually a third hit on the wheel pod sends various pieces careening across the arena floor, and DN is soon declared dead. Tax Cutter wins by KO in 1:46 Death Turret 2000 vs. Froral Fury Honestly, I should probably disqualify NeonCalypso for editing his RP after he submitted it, but a few things. 1) It was probably a spelling mistake, which is fair. 2) The thread wasn't locked. 3) The edit came a minute after he submitted the RP. I am a nice guy. I will accept this. But for future reference, please do not edit your RP after you have submitted it. We have that rule for a reason. Thank you. So anyway Froral Fury gets up to speed and the first hit almost completely rips the clamp off of Death Turret as it goes sailing away. Froral Fury recovers enough to spin back up to speed before Death Turret limps back in and we get a second hit that pretty much sprays shards of Death Turret all over the arena. Froral Fury wins by a knockout in 1:10. Lethal Injection vs. Ikea's Guard Dog Both robots can press their fronts and try varying methods of getting under the other’s wedge. Except for that part when Lethal Injection decided to try suplexing itself on top of Ikea and got slammed into the wall for that. Ikea’s much faster but not enough to outflank, and whole both bots can press, Lethal’s forks up front are a bit more convincing at getting under the rather steep looking wedge on IGD, and keeping it off its wheels for longer. That’s the story of the fight pretty much, as Lethal Injection gets the first grip and smashes Ikea around hard. Ikea regains composure and gives Lethal Injection an injection of shakes magic hazard 8 ball flippers I guess, and there’s a loud screech and some white sparks. Ikea’s speed does make it difficult for Lethal Injection to get back to neutral here and it takes more pounding. On final confrontation, Lethal Injection’s forks win out once more and it gets a grab, and manages to pull Ikea off its wheels for a quick tour of the pulverizer corner before the match ends. Aggression – 8-7 Lethal Injection Damage – 8-7 Ikea’s Guard Dog Strategy – 10-5 Lethal Injection Lethal Injection wins a 25-20 decision Fenrir vs. Parasoul Lian chooses the Eurpyterus wedge. And then tries angling in at the last second. Disaster? SMASH. Parasoul's wedge nearly gets torn off right then and there, and doesn't look in any way shape or form to be getting underneath Fenrir again. Fenrir presses its advantage and within a few more hits there is no more wedge on Parasoul. Uh oh. Poor Parasoul is forced to pretty much box-rush Fenrir with subpar armour at this point and gets blown back in a shower of parts. Amazingly, she is still moving. Another hit fixes that. Fenrir wins by a knockout in 1:43. Hartmann's Youkai Bot vs. Count Bleck It's Kody's Peril Run of Paper Mario come to life! He's sacrificed all his HP for maximum damage output! HYB wants to get some height and jump on Bleck's head. A pretty solid plan with the obvious flaw that Casino Night Zone doesn't have any platforms. It does have a slot machine though. HYB crosses it and round and round the wheels go. Robotnik... Robotnik... Robotnik! Instead of powering up the hazards, HYB is attacked by all those little spiky things and has drained all of HYB's rings...er... HP or whatever. Boop Bleck with the wedge? More like KABLAM! Chunks of metal fly in all directions and both bots are reduced to completely mangled junk. Aggression: 15-0 Hartmann's Youkai Bot Damage: 15-0 Count Bleck Strategy: 8-7 Hartmann's Youkai Bot Hartmann's Youkai Bot wins 23-22 and what's left gets to move on to Hill Top Zone AFTERMATH CONFERENCE Chemical Explosion vs. Ravex It's kind of hard to rush a bot with equal speed as you, but as that has been said ad nauseam I will refrain from being snarky about it, since Ravex really had no chance. Honestly, Ravex does put up fairly well against the previous champ, as the blows he takes aren't too harsh until later on, but the problem is that he is never really able to halt Chem's momentum as whenever Ravex catches up to him again, Chem's got the blade spinning. What makes it worse is that practically every hit knocks Ravex around completely, so he's unable to really jump upon the tracked bot. Near the end Chem nearly manages to rip out the entire lifter but it stays on, and Ravex surives the fight in a battered, but still whole, package. Was his aggression enough to counter the damage he received? Find out! Aggression: 11-4 Ravex Damage: 15-0 Chemical Eeplosion Strategy: 8-7 Ravex Chemical Explosion wins by a 26-19 judges' decision. Khnum vs. Xonotic If there was ever going to be a Ruination 5, I think Bob pretty much disqualified himself from entering with this second FF week in a row. :V Khnum wins by a forfeit. Krakatoa vs. BEEF KING So basically strategy A for BEEF KING doesn't work and leads to him getting face-fucked by the floor spinner so let's just say Noah is smart enough to throw that out of the gameplan going forward. BK ends up with reasonably more success with B and C in that he's able to cause a fair amount of damage to the plow over the duration of the fight and his massive recoil after each hit does make it tough for Krakatoa to follow up each time. But not every time. Krakatoa does shove him under hazards at different points of the fight which have less than pleasant repercussions for BEEF KING. A late match triggering of the slot bonus during one of BEEK KING's bounces off into oblivion lets Krakatoa put BEEF KING out of action with one last trip to the hammer. Krakatoa wins by KO in 2:53 Triple 6 vs. Howler III Howler starts sideways and backs away from Triple 6, but Triple 6 was looking to attack Howler from the side anyway, so yeah. Triple 6 fires into that side bar and Howler is blasted into the wall like a cannonball. Triple 6 has a cut where the weapon made contact but is otherwise still okay. Howler doesn't have much space to run to as Triple 6 is hell bent on oppressing the shit out him and Howler finds himself juggled between the bumper spinner and Triple 6 for a time. Eventually Howler does get out of this predicament and manages to get the bars up to speed properly again. Triple 6 willing eats another big shot from the weapon to send Howler popping along again. We keep up with this for more less the rest of the fight until Triple 6's front is completely shredded and Howler isn't looking so hot either thanks to hazards. Aggression: 14-1 Triple 6 Damage: 10-5 Howler III Strategy: 10-5 Triple 6 Triple 6 wins 29-16 Space Cadet vs. Phantasmic Slammer This all comes down to who can take advantage of the other better. They got underneath each other an equal amount. The key difference is that, while inverted, Space Cadet could sort of move around and attempt to escape Phantasmic's hazard slams and miscellaneous fun times while, when Slammer was flipped, he had to self-right on the spot and Space Cadet was right there to take advantage. Also a smaller factor was Space Cadet's greater armour, but the hazards were hardly used. The match ends with Space Cadet tossing Slammer onto his back once more. Aggression: 8-7 Phantasmic Slammer Damage: 8-7 Space Cadet Strategy: 8-7 Space Cadet Space Cadet wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Jack Frost vs. Metal Heck So the match starts out with Metal Heck’s bar in its raised position, but the weapon side as opposed to the wedge facing Jack Frost. Josh seems to just be focused on spinning up and keeping his weapon facing his opponent. He just wants to score a hit. What Nick wants is a bit more mysterious, but both bots gun it straight at each other once they’re spun up. Metal Heck, with its high ground clearance, begins to slide straight over Jack Frost’s weapon, untouched, its wheels looking clear to pass to either side of the disc with maybe an inch to spare, until Josh realizes that he isn’t a moron, sees a chance for an easy hit, and turns a few degrees to tear one of the wheels off of Metal Heck. This destabilizes Nick’s bot and sends it flying at an angle, its blade actually tearing a glancing gash across the top of Josh’s entry. When the figurative dust figuratively settles, Metal Heck is sans one wheel, trying to look mobile by turning in herky-jerky half circles. Jack Frost’s weapon seems to have stopped working, but it’s driving and keeps driving while Metal Heck, despite Nick’s best efforts, is counted out. Jack Frost wins by KO at 0:38 Speed Bison vs. Panzer Strike Mk. II Panzar waits for Speed Bison to attack, expecting a box rush, I guess, and is waiting to bring that pickaxe down on his opponent. Speed Bison, however, has other ideas, and uses it's superior control ratio to get around the front of Panzar and angle in on its side. Jack lifts the forks and takes Panzar to the hammer in the corner. And Panzar gets a taste of its own medicine, except that this hammer ends up hurting quite a bit more than its own. Panzar is smoking some as it finally escapes the corner. Speed Bison is unrelenting, though, and uses the same tactic to take Panzar to the opposite corner. The spinner hazard sinks its teeth into Panzar and sends it reeling back over to its starting square. Now, a whole side has been ripped away from Panzar, but it is still barely showing translational movement. Speed Bison makes quick work of that, however, as it stuffs Panzar into an empty corner where it finally ceases movement. Speed Bison wins via KO in 1:28!
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Apr 3 2018, 03:12 PM Post #7
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 4 LIGHTWEIGHTS DEFIANCE CONFERENCE Bluebot vs. Mushroom Cloud All right, so we have two new bots here with pretty good records so far. So who'll come out top today? Bluebot doesn't bother with the formalities and just comes straight out of Mushroom Cloud, who decides that he doesn't want to face the drum and backs off. Hoo boy. We're in for a treat. Although when I say treat, I mean like those licorice candies people give during Hallowe'en. Unless you like licorice, in which case eat a dick. :V Anyway Mushroom Cloud is trying to get around the beater of Bluebot and, though Bluebot threatens to gyro a little, he stays stable. At last Bluebot finds an opening, aggressively cuts Mushroom Cloud off and smacks him as he's trying to get around Bluebot. Mushroom Cloud goes flying onto his back but self-rights quickly. He's not fast enough to escape however and gets knocked over again. We get a few more of these hits before Mushroom Cloud scurries outta there. He's not keen on any more gymnastics. Syl is now trying everything he can to get around the beater, and finally, Mushroom Cloud pounces upon the corner and just barely manages to snag it. Bluebot tries to get out of there but it's not happening, son, and Syl follows through with a toss. Oh hell, Bluebot's on his back. What happens now? Gulden tries to drive straight at the wall to attempt to flip himself back over. Well, okay. Mushroom Cloud is in hot pursuit, and while Bluebot does actually fling himself back over, Mushroom Cloud is there to wrong that right. Flip. Another flip does right Bluebot, but also sends him directly underneath the hammer, which comes down with extreme prejudice and almost completely flattens the right side tire. Sad to say that the hammer hit is the last bit of action we get, as the clock winds down and OWWWWWW!!! Will you turn down the buzzer volume? I've got a headache. Aggression: 8-7 Bluebot Damage: 10-5 Mushroom Cloud Strategy: 8-7 Mushroom Cloud Mushroom Cloud wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. The Servant's Assistant 4 vs. Eat Me Too Well, here I was thinking that this was gonna be another epic match with scintillating action, hair-breadth escapes, cockamamie strategies, and (when we enter the tall grass) wild swings of momentum. Instead, the most important swings in this match are the swings of Eat Me Too’s thwack tail. The Servant’s Assistant comes out and attempts to clamp Eat Me Too, which actually kind of works, because Brad’s not actually spinning yet, but just trying half thwacks maybe hoping that they’ll hit with full power. Sorry, but that shit won’t fly here, regardless of your stats and spin up time. So TSA4 doesn’t die on the first hit, though it takes a small gash across its plow. It even actually manages to kind of get a clamp in, but Eat Me Too’s awkward shape allows it to squirm away quickly. There’s some pushing and shunting and a trip to the hazards for the Chaotic Robotics entry, but Brad’s eventually able to escape, partly due to his bot’s respectable turn of speed, and get spinning for real. Not one to shy away from a fight, Lian comes in, presses his lifter down and goes for broke. Literally. The truly obscene amount of kinetic energy that Eat Me Too is carrying is unleashed on TSA4’s plow, which quickly goes the way of the dodo. Eat Me Too repositions and starts spinning again, TSA4 trying to charge in and stuff it before it has the chance to get back up to speed. With Eat Me Too’s extremely quick spin-up time, however, it doesn’t quite pull off the trick and the consequences are…gruesome. The front panel is torn off, the hammer jarred loose from its bracket and left hanging limply at an odd angle, and the innards exposed. A ribbon of thick white smoke begins trickling out of the batteries and the former champ grinds to a halt and the fight is waved off so that safety crews can come in and nip a nascent LiPo fire in the bud. Eat Me Too wins by KO at 1:34 La Valette vs. Witness Me OK. La Valette is +6 on Witness Me’s armour. That doesn’t give it auto-win, so Alex can QQ some more. It DOES mean, however that Witness Me’s flipper lasts about one hit and that La Valette ends up doing the funky chicken all across the arena while Riley rams into it again. The weapon’s not back at full power, but it still does some damage, taking a slice out of Witness Me’s body. I should probably make a Mad Max: Fury Road joke at this point, but that movie was overrated. Witness Me’s able to pin La Valette briefly, but Alex kind of wriggles free after taking a few shots from the hammer that warp his bot’s frame just a touch. A Valette runs away shamelessly to get up to speed, and the next hit…well, it spills bits and batteries of Witness Me across the floor. I guess it’ll ride eternal on the Fury Road. Oh look, I couldn’t resist dropping a reference after all. La Valette wins by KO at 1:50 GREEN BRICK vs. Flash Flood Badnik, you are under arrest for violating By-Law #2 of Custom Fantasy Leagues. You have the right to forfeit. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the Battlegrounds Arena. You have the right to a judges' decision. If you can't afford a decision, a knockout will be appointed to you by Noah. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you? No? Fuck. Flash Flood wins by Miranda Rights (KO). Sir Morphsalot vs Nervous Wedge Boy Sir Morphsalot isn't spinning up. Is Neon going for a brick fight? Interesting plan. Unfortunately, NWB is faster and controls better, so Morphsalot gets wedgedalot for the first half of the match or so. Even when Morphsalot succeeds in wedging NWB, NWB escapes rather painlessly or out-torques him so much that he just pushes back and loses nothing for it. Then Morphsalot finally spins up, and… well honestly he only does marginally better. He spends a good amount of time in the hazards thanks to NWB aggressive strategy, and he gets two good hits in before the buzzer: the first flips NWB over for a full rotation, the second inverts him. Morphsalot finally has the upper hand, but with only a few seconds left in the match, he can't do much with it. Aggression: 9-6 Nervous Wedge Boy Damage: 9-6 Nervous Wedge Boy Strategy: 11-4 Nervous Wedge Boy Nervous Wedge Boy wins by a 29-16 judges' decision. Hoarfrost vs. Ayame Both bots come out quick, and start doing crazy Tokyo Drift maneuvers to try to get past each other's wedges. Both machines are very low to the ground, but it's Hoarfrost that gets under Ayame first. It's at an angle though, and Ayame is just spin around sideways by the force instead of being actually moved. Ayame fakes another approach, then tries to reverse away, but Hoarfrost is just too quick and gets under it. Ayame tries to monstertruck over it, but ends up just being in an awkward position thanks to Hoarfrost's double-angle wedge. Before Ayame can wiggle off of Hoarfrost, it gets slammed into the wall at high enough speed to bounce both robots off and flip Ayame over. It quickly self-rights, but has to give up the aggression again while it's flipper retracts. This actually lets it pull a sort of Crazy Ivan type maneuver, and it gets under the side of Hoarfrost's plow and just manages to flip it, although I think Hoarfrost's momentum did as much there as Ayame. Hoarfrost is invertible, though, and its wedge teeth are still fully effective. It slides under Ayame again, but now its shape can't actually stop Ayame from monstertrucking over it. Unfortunately Ayame can't actually get behind it with this tactic because the bots are so fast they end up like ten feet apart by the time Ayame lands, but after getting shoved around the arena a bit more Ayame gets another flip in, overturning Hoarfrost straight onto the killsaws. The saws catch Hoarfrost's tires and fling it away, but it looks like only a minor gash, and the game of robotic pinball continues. Ayame ends up under the hammer, but blocks it by using its extended flipper as a sort of shock absorber. Ayame does have an easier time of it when Hoarfrost is inverted because the sides of its plow are way up in the air, but overall it's a fight between two very quick, slippery bots. It seems like Hoarfrost has been doing more of the pushing, but Ayame actually ends up giving Hoarfrost more trips to the hazards by the end of the match, so we'll have to see what the judges have to say. Judges' Decision: Damage: Ayame 9, Hoarfrost 6 Aggression: Ayame 6, Hoarfrost 9 Strategy: Ayame 6, Hoarfrost 9 Your winner, by a 24-21 Judges' Decision, is Hoarfrost! Tidal Wave II vs. Blitz Mk. III Ava and Zach come flying straight at each other and the first hit pretty much seals the deal. One of Tidal Wave's prongs slides under the flipper and the drum connects with a solid BANG that sends both bots flying wacky. Blitz goes into the air about a good 7 feet as Tidal Wave bounces away. As the flipper lands, Ava already can tell something is wrong as he brings the controls to bear. Blitz is only moving in a circle. Tidal Wave moves in to hit Blitz again, but again only gets flipper. We get another solid hit that sends Blitz into the air, and this time he comes down on his back. He rights himself, but finds that he no longer has any drive power. The flipper fires over and over, but he is counted out. Tidal Wave II wins by a knockout in 1:02. VENGEANCE CONFERENCE Cream vs. White Lightning Cream spins up erratically with its chains, but WL still gets there before its fully up to speed, bulldozing it into the wall, and......staying there. [30 seconds later...] He's moved! WL backs off, and Cream immediately zips away to the other side of the arena, wait no no no stop you're going to hit the wall, he's hit the wall. The chains are extending, though, and Cream gets back up to speed-oh wait, WL has plowed it into the wall again. Aaaaaand stops. [30 seconds later...] Out comes WL, away shoots Cream, which smacks itself into the wall, and begins to spin up, until WL pins it again... [30 seconds later...] Release, away, smack, spin, pin... [30 seconds later...] okay balls to this fight cream gets 9 smashy points but wl gets 11 angry points and 12 clever points so wl wins 29-16 i guess Ramshock vs. The Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins Aight, so Pat wants to attack Shion and it wants to intercept him. How nice is it when we all agree? Most of this fight is Ramshock winning the control bot battle against Shion because it’s got a way better drivetrain, and when it presses its wedge, it wins head to head. Joon comes close a couple of times, but isn’t really able to make much of an impact. On the flip side, Pat’s attempts to control Shion and shove it into its partner prove fruitless as well, mostly due to Shion just j-hooking away. Ramshock tries using its lifter but ends up tipping on its face. Overall, it’s a somewhat boring, inconclusive fight in which one combatant enjoyed a mild edge. Aggression: 9-6 Ramshock Damage: none of you did shit. You’re not getting any points. Strategy: 9-6 Ramshock Ramshock wins an 18-12 judges’ decision Nick's Fuzzy Rules vs. Electric Agression Based on their names, can you guess who’s the more aggressive of the two? Obviously it’d be the latter, right? :V Most of this match consists of TBR trying to maneuver his bot around the side of Gabe’s. He doesn’t really have the speed to do that, and though the Angry Goat Robotics entry oversteers a bit once or twice, it’s not that egregious. This match is mostly just Nick’s Fuzzy Rules going after Electric Aggression really hard, stuffing its ill-conceived flanking attempts, and wedging it. TBR’s right about one thing, though. Gabe’s polishing wheel doesn’t do any damage. Aggression: 10-5 Nick’s Fuzzy Rules Damage: 9-6 Nick’s Fuzzy Rules Strategy: 11-4 Nick’s Fuzzy Rules Nick’s Fuzzy Rules wins a 30-15 judges’ decision Yellow Buzzard vs. The Thieving Magpie Um... okay? "as long as you don't massively fuck up you should be fine". Who are you talking to? Us? We're not driving for you, now get your lazy ass back in the control booth. Admittedly, Yellow Buzzard does actually have the better wedge but Thieving Magpie's slightly better control allows her to perform a few successful angle-in attempts that let her get under and flip. Neither Bob nor Danielle manage to get a clear hold over the other and by the end of the match both robots are pretty much flipped out, exhausted from expending so much gas. Aggression: 8-7 Yellow Buzzard Damage: 8-7 Yellow Buzzard Strategy: 8-7 The Thieving Magpie Yellow Buzzard wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Dr. Robotnik vs. Exotherm Both robots come straight at each other early, resulting in a loud CRASH! that sends the two flying. Exotherm's "Vader Mask" is torn away, and much like the real Darth Vader, what's left is an absolute mess. Most of the front armor is gone, but the main bot is unhurt, so it's still mobile. Robotnik seems okay, as the weapon bar took the brunt of the hit, but it's been flipped upside-down. Both bots spin up again, Robotnik being a little wobbly, but otherwise okay. The two collide once again, and this time Exotherm wins the upper hand, throwing Robotnik up and over. Robotnik's weapon bar is now visibly bent, and it can no longer spin properly without shaking violently. Fortunately for Josh, it lands upside-down again, so it's still alive. Exotherm, smelling blood in the water, comes in for one more hit which tears chunks out of Robotnik's armor and beaches it on its bent blade. Exotherm wins by KO at 1:04. Experiment 626 vs. Pinstripe Oh wow. This one is gonna be difficult to call. Okay so Experiment 626 comes out all rotary and stuff (as I dodge a rotten tomato from HFL) and tries to aim for Pinstripe's corners. Well, Pinstripe being a mecanum bot, it's not surprising that he finds this a smidge difficult, namely because Pinstripe seems determined as all hell to keep the front pointed at him. Let's see... who'll crack first? It appears Pinstripe cracks first - 2 point control disparity + mecanums isn't the most balanced thing in the world and eventually HFL catches him with his pants down. Err, whoops, wrong euphemism. Experiment 626 gets under the corner of Pinstripe and starts shoving him. Pinstripe tries as hard as it can to escape, but E626 is just relentless. Knowing it can't really escape sideways here, Pinstripe turns the other way, and because of the steepness of E626's scoop just manages to orient its mecanums enough to where they're facing dead-on. Ping! Whoa, something happened there as E626 is shunted away suddenly. He hasn't really taken any damage, but it seems the vertical spinner on Pinstripe caught the top of the scoop and knocked E626 back a bit. Interesting. It doesn't stop E626 from coming back in, so unfortunately Pinstripe is smothered before the spinning weapon can spin back up, and pile-drived into the wall, the spinner stalled. E626 tries to lift him over but only has him by the hinged plow; he tries to dig further in but it seems the scoop can't get enough purchase to really lift Pinstripe over. In which case, E626 simply eats the clock in his attempts to lift Pinstripe over. Of course, this does Jack no favours since Pinstripe just had a sixth of the match taken away from him when E626 is forced to release him. Now Pinstripe comes back out, resuming its tactic of keeping the front pointed at E626. HFL, confident in his robot's perfect control, resumes his own tactic again and sadly luck isn't on Pinstripe's side today as E626 gets him yet again. Or is it? This time the angle is enough for Jack to successfully strafe sideways away from E626, as the latter tries to re-orient. Pinstripe moves in but E626 just gets the plow in time and this time he gets knocked violently backwards, almost tossed over but not quite. It seems that Pinstripe caught one of the teeth on top of the plow. There's still barely a notice of damage, however. E626 comes back in, as Pinstripe tries to strafe again, and we get the same old song and dance, with Pinstripe trying to use his mecanums to the fullest while E626 is relying on his more powerful and more controlled drivetrain. Unfortunately the buzzer finally goes off before we wonder if E626 can complete the hat trick though. Next time, HFL! Aggression: 10-5 Experiment 626 Damage: 9-6 Pinstripe Strategy: 8-7 Experiment 626 Experiment 626 wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. Anti-Virus vs. HIRricaine Anti-Virus wins by FF ---- MIDDLEWEIGHTS ANNIHILATION CONFERENCE The Maw vs Magnolia Pico Magnolia Pico is going with the hammer configuration, it seems. A wise decision. So between the strafing antics, Maw firing his wedge thing early as an anti-hammer precaution, and the general fuckery involved in a match like this, things mostly go in The Maw's favor for quite a while, and Pico flails the hammer as quick as he can, trying desperately to land some hits. And he gets those hits, slowly, over the course of the match. The Maw definitely has the advantage when it does to fight control, but with each new hit, he starts looking less and less like he can win. Finally, Pico manages to hit a spot he's hit before, and Maw loses drive power. Maw fires his wedge a few times in desperation, but alas, that's not quite what the ref meant by "controlled movement." Magnolia Pico wins by KO in 2:49 Lulver vs. Harbinger Lulver drives over to the hazards, and Harbinger decides not to follow. A little time passes before both roboteers decide they need to do something to win this, so Lulver begins to circle around a bit, and Harbinger finally comes in to meet it. Lulver does its best to go for the sides of Harbinger's plow but doesn't manage it, hitting the center of the plow instead. The two are knocked apart. This repeats a few times, Harbinger's shield getting dented up in the process, until Lulver decides to hang out by the corner again. Harbinger goes in this time and the impact between the two sends Lulver spinning under the hammer, which strikes, misses, and then Harbinger comes back in and shoves Lulver under the hammer. Lulver takes a heavy hit this time, but also finally manages to clip the side of Harbinger's plow, spinning Harbinger around and knocking its tail into the spinning blade. The blade is moving a lot more slowly by this point, but the tail still takes some damage. Lulver's drive is now having trouble on one side thanks to the hammer, but Harbinger's plow is also pretty dinged up, especially at the corners. This lets it get a final lucky hit past the plow, taking a big chunk out of one of Harbinger's wheels. Harbinger can still drive, however, and it shoves Lulver back under the hammer, which strikes another blow as the match ends. It's not clear whether Lulver can still move, but this will have to go to the judges anyway. Damage: 9-6 Harbinger Strategy: 8-7 Lulver Aggression: 8-7 Harbinger Harbinger wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. Stingray vs. Magica Both wobots dwive towawd each othew and uh oh UwU Wooks wike Magica has an oopsie woopsie! and bweaks down immediatewy!! >w< That doesn't mattew though, since Stingway decides to push it towawd the kiwwsaws fow good measuwe. Magica gets swiced up weaw good x3 Stingray wins by KOwO Eye of n00t vs. Harpy Holy shit, you know what? n00t actually manages to damage the plow. Totally unheard of, right? And you know what? It doesn't make much difference, because Harpy manages to herd the axlebot over to one of the hammers after taking some plow damage. n00t tries to escape but Harpy is being really mean and manages to keep him under the hazard. So n00t takes two direct shots to one of his tires and the second hit kind of flattens it. Then n00t's drum makes contact with the hammer. CRASH The pulverizer is wrenched from its axle and lands on the floor with a clatter as n00t goes sailing out of Harpy's reach. Wow, apparently Laz doesn't give a fuck. Neither does Danielle, who pursues n00t again and, after taking some more hits to the plow which now makes it look like it went through a cheese grater, gets him to the hammer in the corner opposite. CRASH The exact same fucking thing happens; the pulverizer is ripped from its support and lands dead. Laz keeps destroying hammers. Well, boy, we're taking those out of your tab. Harpy doesn't really know what to do from here so just keeps ramming, n00t keeps spinning, and we get some more hits. Only right at the end does n00t manage to tear off what's left of the plow entirely. Too bad, pal. Aggression: 15-0 Harpy Damage: 13-2 Eye of n00t Strategy: 9-6 Harpy Harpy wins by a 26-19 judges' decision and Laz owes the Battlegrounds staff about $1000 in repair charges. Instigator vs. G.B.J. Well Trihunter forgets that Instigator actually has a decent front end that does get underneath stuff, so he is gotten under and slammed into the wall. After that, though, Tri actually focuses and manages to get around the lifter despite his shoddy control. He has a hard time really shoving Instigator anywhere or doing anything of note with the saw, but TBR is unable to really get in any more offense apart from the beginning of the match. Aggression: 9-6 Instigator Damage: 8-7 G.B.J. Strategy: 9-6 G.B.J. G.B.J. wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Biological Warfare vs. Diablo Genesis Diablo Genesis wins by FF Kid A vs. Sundancer LOL. Well it becomes obvious where this is going to go pretty quickly. Both bots move out at each other and then go apeshit trying to drive unpredictably. Sundancer has more luck with this since fuck-your-mecanums and Kid A has worse control. Eventually Sundancer gets within a comfortable range and just starts smacking away. Yeah, those clamps don't last long. With those out of the way, Sundancer moves right in against Kid A and just starts beating the everloving shit out of him, with no real way for Kid A to really push back against it. Kid A is hit so many times that eventually one of Sundancer's hits knocks something inside of Riley's bot askew, and he completely stops. Out comes the white flag. Sundancer wins by a knockout in 2:33. REVOLUTION CONFERENCE Lupi vs. Glitch Okay so Lian says Lupi is going with the spiked set-up, does he mean the over and under cutting blades, or the spiked hammers? Because both are spiky. It doesn't matter too much but I'd like some clarity in the future. :V Anyway Lupi starts sideways, Glitch bull rushes with all of his 6 speed, and Lupi when spun up moves out of her space. Glitch pursues like a demon. Maybe an edgy half-demon. Who constantly hears voices inside his head. Which is nothing special, Lian has that happen all the time. Anyway Glitch finally catches up to Lupi who jerks sideways and we get an absolutely massive fucking hit that sends Glitch skidding across the floor, the disc slashed by quite a bit, while Lupi has been knocked straight into the air and comes down hard, not spinning. Disappointed he wasn't able to knock Lupi into the wall, Glitch turns about to get the disc pointed again and chases down the ring spinner. Unfortunately for him Lupi is able to achieve her maximum speed before Glitch can catch up again, and we get yet another gratuitous collision, which this time does not go so well for Glitch; Lupi's blades manage to catch the side of the disc and cut right into it, while barely evading a hit from Glitch's own disc. Glitch goes skidding away again and this time there's an even more sizable gash into the disc, which is struggling to run stably now. It doesn't look good. Lupi continues spinning and tries to go for the kill, but fortune doesn't smile as favourably upon her this time; now it's Glitch who manages to achieve a hit without receiving one in turn, and in this case the damage is much more considerable. Lupi goes flying onto her back, and seems to have trouble spinning up. As Glitch waits for a fraction of a moment, both Gabe and Lian see what's happened to Lupi; one of the blades was bent upwards while Lupi was upright, and now that she's inverted, it's bent down into the ground and preventing Lupi from spinning her ring up properly, as well as very slightly inhibiting her drive. Glitch spins up again but now looks incredibly unstable. Lupi's spinning up but it's taking a long time and can't properly get herself away before Glitch can manage to slide over and we get another hit that sends both bots flying. Both Lupi's ring and Glitch's disc are now completely incapacitated; Lupi's ring now bent enough where spinning is impossible, and Glitch's disc being way too unstable to run properly. What's left, you ask? Why, a pushing match! Yep. And in this case, this goes far more favourably for Glitch since he has... GASP... a wedge! And the end of the match is Lupi taking shots from the hammer. Aggression: 12-3 Glitch Damage: 10-5 Lupi Strategy: 9-6 Lupi Glitch wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Heaven Jaws 3 vs. Killing Intent Killing Intent goes for the sides and finds them surprisingly more easy to get to than he expected due to Heaven Jaws' sub-par control. When he starts pushing, however, Heaven Jaws slips away a few seconds later. This goes on for a little while, and then Heaven Jaws actually manages to keep Killing Intent in his sights enough to get his front into play and crush down. It's a pity that he got only the wedge, which has the same amount of armour as Heaven Jaws has weapon, so poor Bob can't really do much with that. Seeing this, Killing Intent starts pushing him, very slowly, to hazards. Now I'm sure Bob would want to let go in this instance, but his RP said that he would "never ever let go" would he grabbed. Sooooo... yeah. :V Eventually Killing Intent gets Heaven Jaws under a hammer, and it rains a slew of shots onto the main body that pretty much cripple the crusher until Heaven Jaws finally gets away. With gimped drive, Heaven Jaws is easy prey for Killing Intent who slips under the side and finishes him under the hazard. Killing Intent wins by a knockout in 2:01. The Magpie Effect vs. Raus Mk. IV Ugh, do I have to determine which of these fuckers is lower? Well I think that Magpie Effect has more weight pushing down on his front end, so theoretically he should have it. Of course, that becomes a double-edged sword since it'll be harder for him to turn with all that weight there. Pitifully, Raus finds that he is actually unable to turn fast enough to take advantage of this, so eventually they do indeed go head to head and... stalemate. Neither gets under the other. Okay, looks like Raus' smaller wedge has less surface area so that makes up for not having as much weight at the front. Well this is fun. Magpie Effect having the better drivetrain, it starts to push Raus backwards, Raus arcs backwards and Magpie nearly goes flying by him. Magpie backs off and we're back to square one. Okay. Raus resumes its fruitless attempt to get around Magpie Effect with tricky driving. Again they go head to head and this time Magpie Effect without a doubt gets under. Jamie guns the drive before Ava can get his bot outta there and there is a terrible crashing noise as the wedge of Raus just gets demolished by that spinning drum, sending Raus flying across the arena. He lands right side up, but there is no way in hell that he's getting under anything anymore. The removal of the wedge, however, actually bizarrely benefits Raus now as the drum extends far enough to reach Magpie Effect's, so we now get a straight festival of weapon-on-weapon hits, out of which Raus comes off better. Neither end up flipping the other, but before long Magpie Effect has some pretty bad slashes on his own drum while a few of Raus' teeth are bent. The match ends soon after. Aggression: 10-5 Raus Mk. IV Damage: 10-5 The Magpie Effect Strategy: 8-7 Raus Mk. IV Raus Mk. IV wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Clown Recluse vs. Remi IV Hey guys! Who likes weapon on weapon impacts? Okay, IDGAF who actually does, but you’re gonna learn to love them, because this fight has roughly a metric fuckton. Two slow spinners head for each other, though Remi’s really gunning it and Clown Recluse is being a bit, well, reclusive, I guess. It seems like HFL is wary of angling in attempts, but Zach’s playing this straight and Remilia Scarlet comes barreling into its opponent, drum wailing at full speed. It rides a couple of centimeters up Clown Recluse’s skids, the Team Instant Regret Bot’s weapon missing its scoop by what can only be microns, and delivers a weapon to weapon hit that separates both bots. It’s hard to tell who has the higher tip speed, though it appears to be Remi by a hair. Clown Recluse definitely seems to get the worst of the impact. Though there’s no real damage, it does the funky chicken around the arena for a bit longer, while the Touhou bot’s recovery is noticeably quicker. It comes back on the attack and another more or less inconclusive blow is struck. Remi’s back looking for blood and Clown Recluse can’t recover quite fast enough. Its bar having impacted the ground a couple of times, it’s not up to full power when the two meet again. Thankfully, it’s not really tossed very far simply because it’s the one getting under Remi, but it still seems to be at a disadvantage. With the two robots separated again, Remi skids out towards the center of the arena and struggles momentarily with some gyroscopic action. Clown Recluse smacks into a corner, which actually aids its recovery considerably, and manages to evade the hammer through a combination of driving skill, shape, and sheer dumb luck. With both bots spun up, Clown Recluse comes charging in this time. HFL seems to want to pick up the aggression a bit, and knowing him, there’s probably more to his plan as well. The higher speed impact, which Zach is happy to oblige him in, seems to pay dividends immediately, though it may just be luck of the draw. With the two weapons’ tip speeds so close, it’s Clown Recluse that gains the advantage this time. It goes skidding back wildly and crashes into the lexan (it was already only a couple of meters out from there anyways), but Remi gets absolutely launched, somersaulting through the air and ending up on its back. It’s like that moment in a boxing match where it’s about the tenth round or so and both fighters have just been going at it. They agree to back off for a minute and catch their breath. Remi tries to gyro back over while Clown Recluse takes a moment to transition to horizontal mode. The next impact sees Clown Recluse swinging for the ends of Remi’s drum or the scoop with its considerable reach, but the better control of the Team 57 entry just barely manages to deny it. Remi, impacting upside-down, almost manages to flip itself back over, but doesn’t quite do the trick this time and takes the worse of the exchange. Clown Recluse is right on its case, and a second impact has two main effects, aside from both bots being very forcibly separated. Firstly, with Remi just managing to get under control before the hit, Clown recluse is actually able to get to its scoop. RIP Scoop 2017-2018. We scarce knew you. The creatively-shaped piece of metal is torn almost cleanly off, just hanging on from its attachment point at the other side, and flopping around uselessly. The other effect is a bit more positive for Zach. Remi manages to flip itself the right way. With the match back on a more even footing, Clown Recluse tries again for the ends of Remi’s drum, but is denied and sent more or less flying by its opponent’s drum. Remi skids back a few feet but is eagerly after its opponent, managing to somewhat chain a second hit just as Clown Recluse is settling. It’s denied a third by some good driving on HFL’s part, and Clown Recluse manages to hook its rangy bar around the side of Remi’s drum to hit paydirt and tear the remains of that mangled scoop clean off. The blow also seems to have done something to Remi’s drum, since it’s making a grating noise now. With the match timer nearing its end, Clown Recluse tries to take advantage, but the Team 57 entry’s drum is still going and another inconclusive weapon to weapon hit results. Remi fails to launch its opponent and Clown Recluse doesn’t manage to kill the drum too. The buzzer sounds with both bots recovering from that last blow, and a fight that Zach was certain would end in a KO is going to the judges. Aggression: 9-6 Remi Damage: 9-6 Clown Recluse Strategy: 8-7 Clown Recluse Clown Recluse wins a 23-22 decision. WhipCoil vs. Marauder WhipCoil and Marauder both take some time positioning. Marauder makes an aggressive launch--looks as if to swoop in, and WhipCoil’s got the forks ready, and Marauder backs off suddenly. Another test occurs, and WhipCoil calls the bluff the second time, launching at Marauder and WhipCoil’s forks dig under. It’s short-lived though as Marauder slinks off before any harm occurs, and the two now straddle each other and try to dig into the other’s rear corner. Marauder’s wedge catches WhipCoil now, and WhipCoil quickly slinks off after a brief push. WhipCoil repositions and launches another run, and Marauder tries to angle itself to catch a corner on the front once again, and both robots get under each other. Marauder’s extra torque gives it the winning side of the tug-of-war but WhipCoil opens its jaws, and both robots are popped apart. More maneuvering. WhipCoil goes for another lunge and Marauder insists on making it a corner exchange, leading to another merry-go-round session where WhipCoil veers off, and then both bots straddle the other’s side, trying to dig into the corner. Marauder turns in place to try and catch WhipCoil but WhipCoil simply drives forward before Marauder can do anything. Another reset occurs and now Marauder tries a pass. WhipCoil’s bottom jaw goes under the wedge and then the top jaw goes over. While one could classify this as a clamp it is WhipCoil that gets pushed from this, Marauder tries to get it into the saws before the end, but WhipCoil has enough resistance in its ground traction to just make it a bump on the wall, before quickly getting ejected and parrying another attempt with its rear wedge. A very “New Cruelty vs Diesector season 5 rematch” sort of vibe to the fight over all by the end. Aggression – 8-7 Whipcoil Damage – 8-7 Marauder Strategy 8-7 Marauder Marauder wins a 23-22 decision. Patchouli vs. Mole Butcher Mole Butcher box rushes a 16-weapon spinner, with 9 armour on a 6 speed bot. SMASH. And there is your predictable outcome. Patchouli wins by a knockout in 0:41. Metal 2 vs. Plata O Plomo Metal spins, Plata moves, it's one giant fight for position, and it's Metal who scores first with a gash on the edge of Plata's flipping plate. A quick prayer to Colin Mochrie later, and Kody presses on, this time Metal only scraping the front end, erasing some of the PLOMO artwork. Now Kody is actually mad. FLIP! Metal 2 wiggles in the air, lands on its wheels and gryo-pivots briefly. FLIP! Metal 2 wiggles some more, and this time Pat must slow his weapon to regain control. Kody pounces, FLIP! Metal 2 pulls a complete 360! 1,000 style points for that move. The flips continue, a few more slices appearing in Plomo's front end, but eventually the spinner come down like toast, swivels around frantically, and can't find a way back onto its wheels. Plata O Plomo wins by KO in 1:43
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Apr 3 2018, 03:12 PM Post #8
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 4 (continued) HEAVYWEIGHTS REDEMPTION CONFERENCE Wedgelord vs. Duck King Okay, I'll cut Duck King a small break here. Neon did mix up his Torque and Traction values, but for this match it practically means that Duck King plows into Wedgelord pretty much the whole match, without bothering to drive fancy. 6 torque helps the little fucker keep coming at Wedgelord, even though he never really gets under Brad's machine. Of course, 6 points of control disparity is still awful and Neon does mess up a fair amount, accidentally driving into the wall and several hazards, but the plucky duck remains plucky at the end of the match. Wedgelord meanwhile is sad that he didn't have many chances to deliver the duck to the hazards himself owing to that opponent's spastic drive. Aggression: 10-5 Duck King Damage: 11-4 Wedgelord Strategy: 8-7 Wedgelord Wedgelord wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. Cutthroat vs. America Offline Flanking side hammers isn't a good idea at the best of times, less so when they're no slower than you. AO finds this out first-hand as Cutthroat gets grabby with its boxy foe, and AO begins flailing that hammer! Cutthroat seems insistent on keeping a hold of it, though, carrying it over to the hammers for a trifecta of axe-based assault. AO goes head-on for the next charge, and does manage to get underneath, whacking away at the lifter with its hammer, but Cutthroat pushes it back while doing so, and manages to pin it against the wall for a while, bringing its side hammers in for good measure. AO continues hammering at its opponent, but when the two break contact, Cutthroat is still looking in pretty good nick. Cutthroat wins out the next time, repeating the clamp-2-hazards approach, with AO's hammering managing to bend one of the arms on its opponent noticeably, but the movement doesn't seem to be impeded just yet. Both bots still intact, still mobile and still going all guns blazing by the buzzer, though, so to the judges we go. Aggression: 8-7 Cutthroat Damage: 8-7 America Offline Strategy: 10-5 Cutthroat Cutthroat takes a 25-20 Judges' Decision Neglected Waterbug vs. Narsiccistic Hot-Shot The Waterbug wasn't the neglected one here. Neglected Waterbug wins by a forfeit. Chad the Inhaler vs. Sinmill Despite the massive 11 point weapon to opponent armour ratio, Sinmill is somehow completely unable to kill Chad the Inhaler. Oh. Until the last hit. Near the end of the match. Clutch kill. :V Sinmill wins by a knockout in 2:59. Lunatic Udonge vs. Flandre Scarlet Non-invertible power spinner meets bricky mecanum flipper. Non-invertible power spinner is inverted by bricky mecanum flipper. Bricky mecanum flipper wins by KO in 0:43 Flashback vs. Devil's Verdict Well, at this point these bots are fighting to avoid a winless record. One of them will avoid that fate this week! Both bots are very cautious at first. Flashback advances forward and keeps the wedge pressed, while Devil’s Verdict tries to angle in, though at its top speed there’s not much trickiness that can occur. However, Flashback’s task is not easy. When pressing, the sides of its front wedge are off the ground and will lose out. Only a small strip of that front wedge making contact with the floor during a press is really a danger. Kody’s threatening OHKO power, although this task is also not easy, as each time Flashback tries to get under, and fails due to the angle, it quickly gets off with its 4 wheeled drive and speed before Devil’s Verdict can do anything. A series of failed attempts from both bots to get something cooking ensues. After many attempts though, Flashback is eventually able to force a direct frontal exchange, and does get its wedge under. The disc flips Devil’s Verdict right over. The fight is pretty much over at this point, as Devil’s Verdict takes its time self-righting, and gets pushed to multiple hazards in the process before eventually righting itself before the bell. Aggression – 10-5 Flashback Damage – 10-5 Flashback Strategy – 8-7 Flashback Flashback dodges fate this time with a 27-18 decision. Here’s hoping Devil’s Verdict can catch a break next time. Hazardous Waste Removal vs. Dysprosinator Dyspro moves in cautiously as HWR spins up. It angles in, but HWR brings its disc around as well and gets a big hit onto Dyspro's front. The two are knocked apart, but Dyspro comes back in, gets hit again, and finally corners HWR against the wall. Its blade now prevented from spinning up, HWR is helpless as Dyspro lifts it. It almost looks like it will be propped against the wall, but it slides down and is now running inverted. HWR spins up again once it's finally free and gets another solid hit onto the front of Dyspro, bending its lifter slightly. Dyspro is nevertheless able to get under HWR and lift its front wheels off the ground as it pushes it towards the hammer. HWR has enough control to prevent this, but the two end up on top of the killsaws instead. HWR is scraped up and bounced out of Dyspro's grasp. More of the same continues. Dyspro's front is looking the worse for wear near the end, but it finally gets HWR under a hammer, which nearly disables its spinner. Damage: 8-7 Hazardous Waste Removal Strategy: 9-6 Dysprosinator Aggression: 8-7 Dysprosinator Dysprosinator is your winner by judges' decision. RECKONING CONFERENCE Micro Cuts vs. Charybdis Well unlike Meanstreak, Micro Cuts is unable to get to Charybdis in time and the first hit rips off that wedge like a flag caught in a hurricane. Should I spare the details? No? Okay. The second hit knocks off the panel behind the anti-spinner wedge. A third hit strews internals everywhere. A fourth knocks off a wheel, and a fifth knocks off the other wheel. Just for kicks, Charybdis smashes the saw before the count-out ends, and shards of sawblade litter the Battlegrounds. Charybdis wins by a brutal knockout in 1:10. Death Metal vs. Golden Blaze So here's the only non-meme match I was assigned for the week, except whoops not really. Both of these bots have literally the same exact weapon armor and power, and the same strategy of "just hit other guy until he dies lol". Oh boy oh man. Gosh golly fucking gee willikers batman. If this isn't as close to a coinflip as we can get without a double FF then idk what is. Turns out Golden Blaze has this weird self-righting arm... thing(?) on the top. Mystic never gave it any points in the signup thread, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for now and say that the "thing" uses 1 weapon, putting GB's effective weapon stat at "14 (spinner), 1 (srimech)". BEYBLADES BEYBLADES LET ER RIP, both bots hit each other with an excessive amount of kinetic energy (as is standard). They get flung away and do big damage right off the bat- something's began rattling inside of Death Metal, while Golden Blaze's entire bar seems to be bent to the side a little bit. Not enough to majorly affect it's operation, but still very noticable. The second hit is where things start to get a bit more interesting: GB's thin bar gets sheered to all heck, limiting it's function. Trying to spin up from there only results in GB wobbling about it's axis. Death Metal isn't looking too hot either, with it's drive and weapon going considerably slower than it did at the beginning of the match. But hey, at least it still has a weapon at all. It uses said weapon to promptly bash GB's chassis in. Mystic taps out the moment he realized his weapon stopped working, but Shaba went ahead with the whole "one more?" schtick anyway, because she just wants to be Ray Billings that badly. Death Metal wins by KO in 1:26. Nyam Nyam Nya vs. Coup de Grâce First hit: Nyam is okay. Second hit: Nyam is still okay. Third hit: Nyam loses half its drive. Fourth hit: Nyam stops moving. Fifth hit: I said Nyam stopped moving. Sixth hit: Okay you can stop now. Seventh hit: Buzzer. Eighth hit: Holy shit calm the fuck down, he's dead. Ninth hit: WILL YOU FUCK OFF ALREADY. Tenth hi - pit crew hauls Drew from the control booth Coup de Grâce wins by a knockout in 0:59. Meanstreak vs. Klarinette Meanstreak wastes no time spinning up and rushing Klarinette, who apparently is waiting to see what Meanstreak does. Well, once the head-on attack is clear, Klarinette charges forward and angles in at the last second. Up goes the lifter, but the impact speed was great enough that Meanstreak kinda like bounces or skids off before Klarinette can flip him over. Both drivers have to stop and evaluate the situation for a second before they each make their next moves, seeing as both of their opening strats have failed. Somehow Meanstreak turns to try and hit Klarinette’s side, but Klarintte drives out of there first. Unfortunately, nothing stops Meanstreak from giving chase, Klanrinette doesn’t turn back around in time, and we get our first real hit of the match! And another one following very shortly after that. And a third… Jesus, man, chill Klarinette, with only some paint chips to show for that beating, finally gets room to breathe, and now we’re back to square one. They go head-on again, Klarinette, again, angles at the last second, and this time the impact speed doesn’t send Meanstreak flying off out of reach. Laz tries to j-hook out, but with Klarinette driving forward while lifting it only works so well, and Meanstreak winds up inverted. While this isn’t an automatic game over, it does limit Meanstreak’s drum usage. Laz adapts well and starts pressing his speed advantage a little harder, and for what it’s worth the remainder of this pushing match is pretty close, but Klarinette’s torque advantage (and the hazards) is really putting in work. Finally, the buzzer sounds. Is Meanstreak’s early onslaught impressive enough to win the judges over, or will Klarinette’s smart strategy and consistency in the late game prevail? Let’s go find out! Aggression: 9-6 Meanstreak Damage: 9-6 Klarinette Strategy: 9-6 Klarinette And after much deliberation, the judges return a 24-21 decision for… Klarinette! Mr. Bight Sky vs. Infrared Infrared leads with the wedge. A bold plan. Not one Pat was expecting, and he immediately gets wedged. Pat tries to turn on one wheel but up come the forks (seriously, how do those work anyway? :V) and lift him. Not over, but enough for Infrared to get him to the wall securely and pin him there. Oh wait. reads BEES' RP properly Right, no pin, just whip around. :V Okay. WHAP. Over goes Pat's robot thanks to a drumming from Infrared. There comes a self-righting flip, and a re-inversion thanks to more drumming. It sort of goes that way for a large portion of the match, and Mr. Bight Sky is looking more and more cut up. Finally one of Infrared's hits knocks Mr. Bight Sky into a 360 and he gets away as soon as he lands. But when Pat comes back around, he's facing the wedge again. Nick gets under again, and we get the same ol' schtick. Repeat until end of match because I don't feel like writing 500 more words of how a drum smacks a bot over and over. :V Aggression: 12-3 Infrared Damage: 15-0 Infrared Strategy: 15-0 Infrared Infrared wins by a 42-3 judges' decision. Dreadnought Mk3 vs. Magnolia Grande Which Alex is the best Alex? Find out tonight on Ruination: The Upheaval! Anyway, Magnolia Grande's engine roars as its twin bars start to get up to speed. It goes straight for the killsaws to try to hide behind them, but Dreadnought is already halfway across the arena, and makes a wide turn to avoid the killsaws. It was almost quick enough to get to Magnolia before the engine really got into its power band, but not quite, and it stops and backs away. Magnolia Grande gives chase, lumbering out and following Dreadnought into the middle of the arena, which really is exactly where a horizontal spinner wants to be. The robot's death hum now sounds like a lawnmower on bath salts. And then we hear a "nothing personnel" kid from one of the driver's boxes. Ordinarily I'd expect that from Alex because he's an edgelord who put a skull on his middleweight, but it's actually Alex doing it. Dreadnought attempts to teleport behind Magnolia Grande, forgetting that (a) Magnolia Grande actually has a drivetrain, (b) gyroscopic forces don't interfere with a horizontal spinner's turning at all, although the torque from aerodynamic drag makes turning in one direction easier, and (c) even gyroscopic forces did affect horizontal spinners, Magnolia Grande's bars spin in opposite directions so the gyro forces and the drag cancel each other out perfectly. Magnolia Grande pivots around as Dreadnought rushes in. The tracks do slip a bit, but it's able to turn side-on to Dreadnought and its right blade bites right into the side of Dreadnought's wedge. And what a hit! MG's bar displays anime katana levels of effectiveness, cleaving a HUGE gash through Dreadnought MK3's side panel and tearing off the wedge's leading edge from the INSIDE! Both robots are sent pirouetting across the arena, but Dreadnought stays on the ground while Magnolia Grande's blades hit the arena floor and ruin the writing painted on it. This also has the effect of bringing MG's blades to a near halt. Dreadnought has a chance to come in before Magnolia can spin back up, but what's this? Dreadnought's going in circles! One side of its drivetrain is no longer working! It's still able to flop its way across the arena, but not fast enough to catch up with Magnolia, which has plenty of time to get U P T A E S P E E D N A O B O I Z and deliver another massive hit to the other side of Dreadnought MK3's wedge. Little bits of metal fly all over the arena! Dreadnought's flipper was already lopsided after the first hit, but the second tears it free of its pivots completely, and it's only hanging on by one twisted cylinder rod! But, oddly, Dreadnought is the only bot still moving! Magnolia Grande has bounced into the wall and embedded one of its bars in the arena kickplate, and because somebody thought a sharpened tooth was a good idea it's now stuck there. Ordinarily we'd be pausing the match to unstick Magnolia Grande, but Alex V concedes the match to spare his mangled robot further damage. Your winner, by TKO in 1:08, is Magnolia Grande! Malacoda vs. Redemption Denied So they angle in on each other. Bloody brilliant. Like this washed-up strategy hasn't been done before! Well Redemption Denied sort of gets underneath Malacoda's corner, but it's only a fleeting instant before Malacoda jerks it away like a dog tugging away a toy from your hand. Bad Malacoda, no biscuit for you! We get a few more of these exchanges, with Redemption Denied getting little more than baiting and refusing to buy into it. Of course, maybe he should have tried to flip at least once because the next time, Malacoda gets under just far enough to where the drum hits the flipper. CRASH! Ouch. That's a sizable rend in the flipper, and Redemption Denied's front end is all furled. That's a bad sign if I ever saw one. Now, more out of desperation than anything, Redemption Denied tries to get under the front corners but cannot, and Malacoda manages to get a few more hits that make the flipper completely useless by the time the match is over. Aggression: 9-6 Redemption Denied Damage: 15-0 Malacoda Strategy: 11-4 Malacoda Malacoda wins by a 32-13 judges' decision. ---- SUPERHEAVYWEIGHTS CARNAGE CONFERENCE Froral Fury vs. Lethal Injection Actually I was completely unaware that Froral Fury kills itself in 5 hits. Can Lethal Injection survive 5 hits? Well we'll never know because 2 of the hits ricochet FF off of the walls, and the third hit on Lethal Injection completely destroys the front set-up but leaves Froral Fury dead in the water. Lethal Injection wins by a knockout in 1:03. Parasoul vs Hartmann’s Youkai Bot HYB spins up, Parasoul tries to flank, you get your typical brick vs HS stuff, etc. After a few full speed hits, Parasoul’s plow isn’t looking too good, but the bot is still driving and that’s all that matters. The match ends with Parasoul’s plow looking really, really bad, and HYB having a few dents from the arena hammers. Not the most exciting fight, to be quite honest, but it still has to be written. Aggression: 13-2 Parasoul Damage: 11-4 Hartmann’s Youkai Bot Strategy: 8-7 Parasoul Parasoul wins by a 25-20 judge’s decision. Ikea's Guard Dog vs. Fenrir Yeah, here's the problem you face Riley. You do get under Fenrir easily, but when you try and lift, your wedge is so steep that Fenrir falls off it. So what happens is that we get a lot of this until Fenrir actually is quick enough to strike the underside of the lifter before Ikea can back off and lower it. What happens is that we get a terribly mangled lifter that no longer is flush with the ground and allows Fenrir to get under with extreme ease. From there Fenrir manages to rip the lifter off in another two hits, then feast on the body until he proves he's the superior canine and Ikea conks out. :V Fenrir wins by a knockout in 1:53. Count Bleck vs. Danger Noodle Okay so the match starts and both robots start spinning their spinner things. But then V900 decides to do something absolutely revolutionary and make a robot trip on an arena floor seem for once. Count Bleck does just that, flies about a foot into the air for some reason unbeknownst to the drivers, it's teeth hit the floor and MOM HOLY FUCK THE GROUND SPLIT IN HALF THERE'S A GIANT LANDSLIDE FORMING IN THE STUDIO EVERYONE EVACUATE THE BUILDING BEFORE WE ALL DIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Both robots got sucked into the canyon that Count Bleck made so that counts as a double KO. Aggression: 15-0 Count Bleck Damage: 15-0 Count Bleck Strategy: 15-0 Count Bleck Count Bleck wins the judge's decision 45-0, but is then disqualified for incurring thousands of dollars in repair fees for destroying the entire studio. Therefore, Danger Noodle wins by default. Needles 2.0 vs. Death Turret 2000 Yeah no. I mean, Jamie's weird tactic of backing away as soon as Pat gets close prolongs this for far longer than it should, but when Death Turret does finally catch Needles, Needles fires away and jackhammers the shit out of the lego bot until there's nothing left but hash. The clamping arm droops uselessly as Needles pulls free and does a victory dance. Needles 2.0 wins by a knockout in 1:57. Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo vs. Scrunglebot Yeah, uh... this doesn't end well for Scrunglebot. 11 saw vs 13 armor is pretty wew lad, and I think Brad knows this match is about to go down the shitter, too. Can you say "3 straight minutes of pushing"? Since that's more or less what happens. He drives his robot out of the gate spinning around, flapping the saw up and down like it's a toy. He almost throws off Scrunglebot's center of gravity in the process, not that Brad's taking the match seriously, anyway. Lifter 2 does the thing. Scrunglebot gets pushed around while playfully slapping the top of Hii's bot- not doing any damage to it in the process, of course. The two robots do jazz squares for most of the match. There's this one part where Scrunglebot's saw gets broken in half by one of the pulverizers which looks pretty cool, I guess. The audience gets a giggle out of how intentionally bad Scrunglebot is being driven. That's about it. Judge's decisions ensue. Aggression: 15-0 Lifter 2 Damage: 15-0 Lifter 2 Strategy: 15-0 Lifter 2 GIANT SAW: 42069-0 Scrunglebot Scrunglebot wins by a 42069-45 judge's decision! Wow! Ok but no really Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo wins. Side note: why does Scrunglebot's arm have 3 points dedicated to it? Tax Cutter vs. Cyclone Tax Cutter wins by FF. Press F to pay respects. AFTERMATH CONFERENCE Howler III vs. Space Cadet Howler charges in at the start of the match, but finds itself unable to keep up with the relatively speedy Space Cadet. SC circles around and gets underneath Howler's side pod and flips it. Howler lands on its side and almost looks to be stuck, but firing its hammer wobbles it back onto its tracks. The match continues with Howler trying to get its hammer into play and Space Cadet continuing to avoid it, getting several more flips in in the process. Howler finally sees its chance and fires the hammer, but the reaction spins its body backwards and it only gets a glancing blow on the front of one of Space Cadet's wedges. This nonetheless creates a huge dent. By the time the buzzer sounds, Space Cadet has lost its other wedge to the hammer but flipped Howler several more times. Damage: 9-6 Howler Strategy: 8-7 Space Cadet Aggression: 9-6 Space Cadet Winner: By 23-22 split decision, Space Cadet! Metal Heck vs. Speed Bison So either Jack didn't care about Metal Heck's wedge, or he completely forgot about it. Either way, Speed Bison still gets under Metal Heck at first by pivoting, but when he tries to lift, he starts to lift his own rear wheels off the ground instead of his opponent. Regardless, he still pushes Metal Heck backwards while "hand-standing", and the crowd whoop and holler at this display. Even so, Metal Heck twists away and tries to move back in before Speed Bison can readjust, but the lifter is faster so too bad, so sad. Not for long, though. Next time they meet, Metal Heck gets under and swipes Speed Bison aside, hardly doing any damage but scoring points. This is basically how the fight goes, with Speed Bison charging at Metal Heck like a freight train, and either he gets under but Metal Heck manages to escape every time he lifts, or Metal Heck gets under but loses control immediately when he hits Speed Bison. Aggression: 11-4 Speed Bison Damage: 10-5 Metal Heck Strategy: 9-6 Metal Heck Metal Heck wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Phantasmic Slammer vs. Jack Frost Fuck the ARC metagame… Suffice to say I think we all know in real life, with optimal build quality on both sides, this would be an even match. Here it’s a formality though, Phantasmic Slammer just takes the disc on the nose the whole fight, pushing Jack Frost around into various things, and laughing its way to the bank. Dylan wisely elects not to fire the weapon, and with the speed difference there’s not really much Jack Frost can do in the way of tricks. HOWEVER, the creases on the front separating the weapon arm from the hinged wedges are vulnerable to corner damage. I feel like people have been letting this kind of thing slide a lot, and I’m gonna stick my neck out and say this should matter. Because of this, the disc does manage to keep catching those corners and tossing Phantasmic Slammer from time to time, and it’s not a totally one-sided fight. Unfortunately even with corner damage, the 2-point difference is not enough for Jack Frost to inflict meaningful damage anyway. Aggression – 10-5 Phantasmic Slammer Damage – 8-7 Jack Frost Strategy – 10-5 Phantasmic Slammer Phantasmic Slammer wins a 27-18 decision Panzer Strike Mk. II vs. Krakatoa Panzer seems pretty intent on finding itself a corner, but that allows Krakatoa to swoop in under the front corner, and hoist the hammerbot into the air. Krak gets its flame on, and Panzer attempts to flail itself free with the hammer, but gets a faceful of the arena hammer instead. Krak releases the lightly charred Panzer, who already seems to be moving sporadically. Krak senses blood, and a second roasting under the hammer is enough to put Panzer down for the count. Krakatoa wins by KO in 1:21 Ravex vs. Triple 6 Long story short; Triple 6 is able to angle in for the most part and get a flipping party going on, sending the weirdly spindly robot over killsaws and under hammers and nearly getting it stuck on the wall. Ravex's 5/5 control helps it somewhat as it does manage to get under Triple 6 a few times, but each time it does Triple 6 wiggles free whether it be through it own drive power, a flip, or a combination thereof. Ravex spends the remaining few seconds being tossed by the saws. Aggression: 9-6 Triple 6 Damage: 9-6 Triple 6 Strategy: 9-6 Triple 6 Triple 6 wins by a 27-18 judges' decision. Xonotic vs. Chemical Explosion All right so we get a surprisingly aggressive Chemical Explosion tonight, immediately travelling towards Xonoic hoping to damage that flipper. The problem is that Xonotic is also rushing to meet him and they meet before CE gets up to full speed. Xonotic suffers a slight blow that would have otherwise ripped a hole in him while CE goes tumbling away. Xonotic collects him up and starts slamming him into places, with occasional flippings. This isn't to say Chem doesn't have his fun, and indeed he does manage to make Xonotic eat a few full power hits, but his aggression this match works against him as he never has the bar at full speed for long and Xonotic just keeps making him taste flipper and wall. Aggression: 10-5 Xonotic Damage: 11-4 Chemical Explosion Strategy: 10-5 Xonotic Xonotic wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. BEEF KING vs. Khnum Noah spins, Gabe rams and hits Noah. Noah goes flying. Gabe takes a while to regain control. Noah spins up fully. Gabe gets control after a bit and rams Noah again. Big hit. Noah goes flying. Gabe takes a while to regain control. Noah spins up fully. Ad infinitum until clock runs out. No seriously, this match is dumb and so are you. :V Aggression: 15-0 Khnum Damage: 15-0 BEEF KING Strategy: 7.50000001-7.49999999 ~~Rooster Teeth~~ I mean BEEF KING BEEF KING "wins" a 22.50000001-22.49999999 split headache decision.
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Apr 8 2018, 11:33 PM Post #9
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 5 LIGHTWEIGHTS DEFIANCE CONFERENCE Witness Me! vs. Bluebot Witness Me! gets under the front of Bluebot early in the match and gives it a flip. It's a low-powered flipper, so Bluebot isn't flipped all the way over, but Witness Me! gets back under it again from the side and does get it over. Bluebot drives over to the floor flipper to right itself with WM! hot on its heels. The floor flipper proceeds to send the lightweight Bluebot flying through the air, and the hard landing dents the corner of its plow. This proves to doom its chances of getting underneath Witness Me! for the remainder of the match, and WM! flips it again and again. Mole does get cocky near the end and takes a hit from Bluebot's still-functional spinner while Bluebot is inverted, but it doesn't do very much damage. The judges decide: Damage: 10-5 Witness Me! Strategy: 8-7 Witness Me! Aggression: 9-6 Witness Me! Witness Me! wins 27-18. Hoarfrost vs. Tidal Wave II “Uuuh Fuck” indeed. I guess the best that can be said here is that the drum at least helps out Tidal Wave to not get bullied around 100% of the time. A few well placed shots knock Hoarfrost back here and there. But of course in this context “well placed” still involves hitting that highly armored plow so not much else good comes of it. Most of the time Tidal Wave ends up getting rather familiar with the different arena hazards. Nothing else too exciting. Aggression: 13-2 Hoarfrost Damage: 8-7 Tidal Wave II Strategy: 10-5 Hoarfrost Hoarfrost wins 30-15 Nervous Wedge Boy vs. Ayame Ayame comes right out at NWB, while guest-driver Avalanche decides to look for a corner to camp. NWB is able to station itself in a corner just as Ayame arrives, but the forward momentum and lesser surface area of Ayame's front wedge means it gets underneath easily, immediately nullifying any strategy Avalanche had. Alex immediately fires the flipper, turning NWB onto its head. From here Ayame easily has control of the fight, flipping NWB all over the arena. Avalanche tries a desperate monster-truck maneuver late into the fight, but Alex sees this coming and is ready to turn around and counter it as soon as it happens. At the end of three minutes there's one sore looking Wedge Boi in the arena. Aggression: 13-2 Ayame Damage: 15-0 Ayame Strategy: 9-6 Ayame Ayame wins a 37-8 judge's decision. Mushroom Cloud vs. Sir Morphsalot Both bots come out of their squares, carefully threading the gauntlet of about nineteen floor flippers this arena has. Incredibly, they manage to avoid them all. Sir Morphsalot's approch is fairly straightforward, and initially it works, with those narrow front forks getting under Mushroom cloud and tossing it end over end. MC's wheels stick out the top but unfortunately its anti-monstertrucking horns cause it to balance on its front wedge. It self-rights, but gets knocked back again onto a conveyor belt, but this time it lands right-side-up and easily drives off. Those were pretty substantial hits, but it doesn't look like they've done any damage whatsoever to Mushroom Cloud - that flipper is just so big and springy that even hitting the lip of it doesn't do much! And MC comes back into the battle with a vengeance, getting past the forks this time and underneath Sir Morphsalot's chassis. It flips, and Morphsalot goes over. It gets back on its wheels using its own srimech arm, but just gets launched again, and then a third time as it lands on a floor flipper! It finally bounces down on its wheels, but Mushroom Cloud has it on the defensive now, and it's all it can do to get the disc pointed at it again. Mushroom Cloud ends up doing a picturesque double backflip, but lands upright. This is turning into a good back and forth tussle so far. SM's forks are really sharp, and get right under Mushroom Cloud, but it's having a difficult time staying lined up, partly because the forks are narrow, partly because it's a bit slower, and partly because of gyrodancing. To make matters worse, it doesn't seem like it's really able to get off of Mushroom Cloud's wedge, which lets Mushroom Cloud push it wherever it wants when it gets under. Did I mention that there are hazards everywhere? Sir Morphsalot has been getting some impressive-looking hits too, but again it doesn't seem to be able to actually damage that sturdy clamshell flipper. A bit over halfway through the fight, and Mushroom Cloud flips SM over onto a conveyor belt. SM self-rights, but before it can get off it reaches the end, and its front forks cause it to suffer Wearing Crocs on an Escalator Syndrome - that is, they get sucked in. This jams up the conveyor belt, of course. It reverses, freeing Sir Morphsalot, but one of those forks appears to be bent - will that affect its ground clearance? As it turns out it will, because after that Sir Morphsalot only gets in one more hit, and mostly is flipped and push around the entire match. Near the end it gets put on a floor spike and ends up getting tossed into a position on its rear propped against the wall. It doesn't look like it can self-right from there, but there's no time for a countdown. Judges' Decision: Damage: Mushroom Cloud 9, Sir Morphsalot 6 Aggression: Mushroom Cloud 11, Sir Morphsalot 4 Strategy: Mushroom Cloud 11, Sir Morphsalot 4 Your winner, by a 31-14 Judges' Decision, is Mushroom Cloud! Flash Flood vs. Blitz Mk. III You know, this would have actually been a really good match, with both parties getting in equal wedging and flipping and all that good stuff. There was just that problem of that one time Blitz got shoved onto a floor flipper and being thrown through the air, and when he landed, his armour crumpled so much that he lost drive power. C'est la vie. Flash Flood wins by a knockout in 1:30. Eat Me Too vs. La Valette Your thwack head geometry might be good but you also lose weapon to weapon by 2 and can’t really capitalize on his instability off of the first hit by just spinning in place :V . second hit sees the tail fly off and La Vallette’s weapon start to make weird noises. It’s clearly no longer spinning at mach: death, but the rest of Eat Me’s robot is pretty poorly armored, so Alex is still able to get by and eventually kill the meme shaped bot. Your winner, in 1:34, is La Vallette! GREEN BRICK vs The Servant's Assistant 4 Due to blatantly reading his opponent's RP, V900 has to drive this fight whilst cramming five dicks in his mouth at once. He unfortunately blacks out from asphyxiation just after the buzzer sounds, letting TSA push its opponent into a flamethrower and smack it wih the hammer a bit. The Servant's Assistant 4 wins by TKO in 0:10. VENGEANCE CONFERENCE Electric Agression vs. Cream EA is deflected away by the initial hit, but withstands it well, while Cream gets another chance to get up to speed. EA drives back in, and eats a pretty brutal hit which tears one side of the jaws off its hinges, while Cream skitters off into the wall and onto a conveyor into the corner. EA is still dead set on chasing the meltybot down, and again charges headlong into it for another vicious impact. Cream ricochets back into the center of the arena, but EA's front end is almost completely gone, one side of the jaws is missing, along with a wheel, the drum knocked askew, and the robot is left lifeless. Cream wins by KO in 1:06 Pinstripe vs. Anti-Virus The long and short of this one is that Pinstripe can't keep AV from flanking him forever, even with the magic of mecanum drive. It also takes a couple attempts for AV to get Pinstripe flipped over via the floor flipper, but once he does, Pinstripe is now not able to maneuver very well at all and that makes it much easier for AV to bully him into a flame jet corner. Kind of a dull match, but what can you do? Aggression: 15-0 Anti-Virus Damage: 12-3 Anti-Virus Strategy: 13-2 Anti-Virus Anti-Virus wins 40-5 Exotherm vs. Experiment 626 Lol I don't think either of these guys told the other which setup they're using, since they both have "If he uses this setup, do this. If he uses that setup, do that" disclaimers in their RPs. It can't be helped. Anyway, both bots somehow manage to collide head-on at the beginning of the match. E626 is pretty easily able to get under Exotherm's hinged wedge to begin with, and it's all downhill from there folks. Exotherm tries to chase E626 down, does a Luigi-ass wavedash, E626 angles in. Repeat something like 5 or 6 times before Exotherm ends up on the flipper, and hoo boy look at that baby fly. It crashes down blade-first and nicks the floor real good. While there isn't a massive amount of damage done, that definitely won't look good in the eyes of the judges. You know what else won't look good? Getting bullied around by a blue box the entire match. Sure, Exotherm punts E626 a few times (I think it even made a scratch on the plow), but isn't really able to get any major momentum off of it. The plowbot gets tossed toward a wall and just sort of skitters away afterward before Exotherm is able to deliver a killer 2 damage blow to the chassis. E626 gives Exotherm the POOSH and uh, yeah. That's pretty much it as far as the match goes. Aggression: 10-5 Experiment 626 Damage: 8-7 Exotherm Strategy: 10-5 Experiment 626 Experiment 626 wins by a 27-18 judge's decision. White Lightning vs. Dr. Robotnik So Drew’s going all drift king 5,000 here and it seems to be working out pretty well to start, as he is eventually able to get behind dr. Robotnik...and promptly gets hit by the spinner anyway because it’s an undercutter :V . it’s not a full on smack since the blade was also contacting the ground by this point, but White Lightning is still bent at a funny angle. No, not the wedge. The robot. So yeah, it’s a lot less fast with just one wheel functionally on the ground and who knows what going wrong internally but drew’s still able to eat another few hits with his plow before tapping out as that comes flying off too. Your winner, by KO in 0:46, is Dr. Robotnik! The Thieving Magpie vs. HIRricaine The Thieving Magpie wins by FF The Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins vs. Nick's Fuzzy Rules Well this isn't nearly as bad as having to write out Dylan's old Middleweight's name, but god damn if you guys don't pick annoying robot names. I'm toughening up on the dumb name rule if Ruination 5 ever happens and y'all can deal with it. Anyway, not really much to write home about on this one. NFR pretty much owns the arena in terms of drivetrain so we get a... ah, 'commemorative' highlight reel of NFR ramming Shion into Joon and watching the pair fly off in wacky directions the whole match. At one point Shion gets sent over one of the flippers and gets flung all the way into the other floor flipper, which sends it back, and we get some ping pong until Shion is thrown slightly out of direction and lands with a clatter. Where NFR is there to shove it into Joon again. Cue the buzzer. Aggression: 13-2 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Damage: 14-1 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Strategy: 15-0 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Nick's Fuzzy Rules wins by a 42-3 judges' decision. Yellow Buzzard vs. Ramshock Both bots same to have the same general strategy of being super aggro, but Ramshock’s weird lifting tray works in Pat’s favor and he’s able to get under Yellow Buzzard every time by pressing at the last second. Yellow Buzzard spends a lot of the match on top of hazards as a result. Aggression: 8-7 Ramshock Damage: 9-6 Ramshock Strategy: 14-1 Ramshock Ramshock wins by a 31-14 judge’s decision ---- MIDDLEWEIGHTS ANNIHILATION CONFERENCE Magica vs. The Maw Pyro continues his disappearing act, and The Maw wins by FF Diablo Genesis vs. Kid A If I really wanted to be a sass ass I’d have mole run Kid A at no weapon power because any moving mass is going to have some gyro effects, even if they’re functionally nonexistent :V . that being said this feels like one of those games where there’s just a back and forth on the wedging all match. Kid A’s control isn’t great so he doesn’t always get to choose what he does – and he’s short so he wheelies every once in a while, but at the same time he does have the wedge advantage when his front’s on the ground. Both are just about as good at controlling their opponents – though Kid A does seem a tad underwhelming the whole match, he still does a decent job juggling his opponent. Diablo’s clamp game is on point when he gets them in, and he usually can after the flips. But no fuck you the flamethrower doesn’t kill him :V . any way long story short this coulda gone either way but Kid A’s purposeful lower power on the spinner prevents it from being able to actually damage Diablo’s wheels the time or two he gets over there, since he isn’t able to ramp the speed up in the short amount of time he had, and that’s how I’m deciding it :V Aggression: 8-7 Kid A Damage: 8-7 Diablo Strategy: 8-7 Diablo Your winner, in a 23-22 decision, is Diablo Genesis! G.B.J. vs. Biological Warfare I don't know what's going on here but I'll take a swing at it. Bio comes out, lifter up, and collides with the back of G.B.J.'s pan. The drum creates sparks, but not really much else. G.B.J. brings down the saw, which also creates sparks but similarly does bupkis otherwise. The difference is that G.B.J. has a major wedging advantage from the start so despite a few control slip-ups, it's able to get Bio to walls, corners, and hazards. None of the hazards really do anything to Bio, but Bio really isn't able to do anything of note to G.B.J. so - oh, hold on a moment. The lifter came down. Bio gets under G.B.J. and smacks it flying. Well, what do you know. G.B.J. is on its head. Hey look I was wrong. Bio is getting in some offense as well. G.B.J. is finding it hard to self-right but eventually does so, and when he does he regains control of the match. Interesting. And it ends with G.B.J. accidentally driving both of them over one of the flippers and they get both launched. Whee. Aggression: 8-7 G.B.J. Damage: 8-7 G.B.J. Strategy: 8-7 G.B.J. G.B.J. wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. Magnolia Pico vs. Instigator Alex fight! Instigator spends a lot of time driving around the arena, I guess trying to confuse Pico, and… yeah I'm not sure what to make of this either. There's not really a lot of contact going on in anyone's favor as Instigator keeps repositioning and MP turns chase after him. Enough is enough, and Instigator finally goes in. MP just barely misses with the turret, and Instigator puts him on the floor flipper. That was cool I guess, but MP lands right-side up and now we’re back where we started. After another positioning battle, Instigator goes in again, but it seems TBR misjudged his approach and he gets caught in MP's clamp. Ever had roasted wiring before? I hear it tastes like chicken. MP seems to like chicken, because man oh man that flamethrower is hot. I can feel it from all the way over here in Florida. Actually, that might just be the sun. Anyway, a suplex later, Instigator is on a floor flipper, and he lands right as time runs out. Aggression: 9-6 Magnolia Pico Damage: 8-7 Magnolia Pico Strategy: 8-7 Magnolia Pico Magnolia Pico wins by a 25-20 judges' decision Harpy vs. Sundancer You're damn lucky Laz. I was all ready to FF your tardy ass until word came down from the very top. All right whatever. So Harpy doesn't seem overly worried about the hammer I guess and just rushes right at Sundancer. The teeth wedges help it get under Sundancer's plow and off to the corner you go mister hammerbot. You might do better to remember that only 2 mecanum wheels on the ground aren't going to help you escape. Sundancer does better for itself later, making good use of the mecanum drive to avoid another ram attempt from Harpy and lands a pretty solid shot squarely on top of the wedgebot. Nothing really deters Harpy's straightforward approach, even collecting several more painful looking hammer hits. Harpy at least manages to wedge Sundancer a couple more times, though loses control at one point thanks to the conveyor belt whisking Sundancer away from Harpy's wedge. In the end Harpy has quite a few bad looking dents and small holes from the hammer while Sundancer is covered in scorch marks from the flame jet. Aggression: 11-4 Harpy Damage: 12-3 Sundancer Strategy: 8-7 Sundancer Sundancer wins 24-21 Harbinger vs. Stingray 9 speed thwackbots! And... really not much else. Stingray tries to keep Harbinger at bay but, sadly, is unable due to his poorer control. So he decides to thwack instead. Which does stall Harbinger by spinning him around as well, but doesn't really do any damage and Harbinger keeps getting up in Stingray's grill, yo. Eventually Harbinger manages to dodge a thwack, get fully under, and it's inverted land for Stringray as he goes flying through the air and lands on his back. Or does he? It would seem that the top of the flipping attachment and the top of the thwack keep Stingray's body from hitting the floor. He tilts sideways and is only supported on one wheel. Holy anti-climax, Batman! Harbinger pretty much slams Stingray around for the duration. Aggression: 10-5 Harbinger Damage: 8-7 Stingray Strategy: 9-6 Harbinger Harbinger wins by a 26-19 judges' decision. Eye of n00t vs. Lulver N00t's starts sideways in the box, doing some sort of weird sideways translationary wobble towards Lulver. This gives Lulver plenty of time to sidle up and slice into the front tyre with the undercutter. N00t's body hits the floor and lobs itself across the arena, spilling its innards across the floor in an impressive self-destruct. The ref doesn't even need to count out the remaining shrapnel. Lulver wins by KO in 0:24. REVOLUTION CONFERENCE Raus Mk. IV vs. Lupi Raus charges in at the sound of the buzzer towards Lupi, which is spinning up as fast as it can. Raus isn't the fastest, but it does slam into Lupi before it's made it to top speed. Both robots are knocked away, Lupi ending up on the treadmill which starts to carry it toward the flamethrower. Raus's wedge is dented, but it reorients as quickly as it can and charges Lupi again. This time, however, Lupi's is almost entirely up to top speed, and it tears off the entire front of Raus's wedge in the collision. Now Lupi goes in for the kill as Raus lines up another desperate charge. The two collide again, and this time batteries are seen flying across the arena floor, along with shredded pieces of Raus's chassis. Its drum slowly and sadly spins down as it is counted out. Lupi wins by K.O. Mole Butcher vs. Metal 2 Metal 2 spins up and leaves its square at an angle, expecting a box rush which Mole Butcher doesn't really pull off. The bots end up circling each other in the middle of the arena, Metal 2 trying to go for Mole Butcher's sides but not having any luck due to its lower speed. Before the crowd can start booing, Mole Butcher loses patience and rams it. This is the part where a sensibly-designed shell spinner would break off the hardened teeth on Mole Butcher's lifting fork. Metal 2's teeth are a bit too high for that, but they do hit Mole Butcher's pontoons and toss both robots across the arena. Metal 2 starts coining and ends up on a conveyor belt, but this is the belt that broke down earlier when it ingested a stray setscrew, so that spinner has time to wobbling back onto its wheels and drive to safety. Meanwhile, Mole Butcher already has a massive gash torn in its pontoon. It tries to rush Metal 2 before it can spin up again, but Metal 2 manages to dodge enough to turn it into a glancing blow that spins both robots aside. Metal 2 escapes and gets up to full speed again. There's nothing Mole Butcher can really do about this besides ram and hope for the best, which it does. It gets another huge hit, and the frame is looking really torn up now. It's got to knock Metal 2 into the walls and stop its spin. It tries to line up a bit more carefully this time to do just that, and it comes in again, shooting a jet of FOG OF WAR from its flamethrower (which, in typical flamethrower fashion, isn't actually igniting). It's a huge hit! Both bots go flying, and By Gawd there's fire everywhere! Especially inside of Mole Butcher. It looks like something in the fuel system got broken by that impact, and the sparks ignited the escaping gas! But Metal 2 goes spinning and tumbling out of control, hitting first the floor, then the wall, and bouncing onto the floor flipper! Up it flies, down it falls. Which way will it land... it's on its back! Metal 2 is helpless, and Mole Butcher is still able to drive! It makes a beeline for the blue circles in the arena corners, presumably hoping to put itself out with a CO2 jet. Unfortunately some wise guy replaced those with spikes, so instead it gets overturned and stuck on its side. Metal 2 was immobilized first though, so... Your winner, by knockout in 1:13, is Mole Butcher! Marauder vs. Patchouli This is an annoying one to decide. Does Marauder survive this weapon? It doesn’t seem to have enough armor, by my math. But it does have enough speed and that’s enough in this case, as it ends up outdriving Patchouli. Patchouli tries to play goalkeeper at first but with the difference in drivetrains and the shit all over the arena to deal with it’s simply too much, and it gets outflanked. Alex carefully takes it to a wall to absorb the hit. This process ends up repeating. The spinner takes a shot from an arena flipper at one point and it’s a good thing this is a fake robot tournament, because Kody would not enjoy cleaning that mess up. Aggression – 15-0 Marauder Damage – 10-5 Marauder Strategy – 15-0 Marauder Marauder wins a 40-5 decision Glitch vs. WhipCoil Trying to drive around Glitch might have gone a bit better if Whipcoil had a slightly higher speed advantage to work with or if Glitch had decided to be blindly aggressive, but neither really applies here. Instead what we get is a boring back and forth thing where neither one really commits full on because the other guy sort of shakes him off before anything serious could happen. Eventually Glitch does get the clamp down over Whipcoil, digging in on the opponent’s jaws and drags him to a corner. Of course he can’t hold him forever and we go back where we started witch Whipcoil eventually finishing off the match pushing Glitch over a conveyer belt into the wall. Aggression: 8-7 Glitch Damage: 11-4 Glitch Strategy: 8-7 Whipcoil Glitch wins 26-19 Remi IV vs. Plata O Plomo So Remi starts upside down for reasons probably best known to only itself. I'm kind of struggling to think of any real tactical reasoning, but whatever. Remi actually has a bigger problem. Apart from questionable bot orientation choices, Remi also seems to have a lack of situational awareness and forgot that bots start positioned in front of a floor flipper. So when PoP comes in and starts to wedge Remi, Remi starts trying to J-hook away, and drives back over the floor flipper and gets flipped anyway. Ooops. Well that made things a bit more convenient for PoP and allows Kody to chain flip the drumbot around. Things go a bit better for Remi later and it lands a decent hit on the front corner of the wedge, but PoP is still okay enough to keep flipping Remi at every opportunity. Remi gets the last laugh with another big hit that seems to have severely disrupted the firing mechanism of PoP's flipper, but the fight is over anyway. Aggression: 12-3 Plata O Plomo Damage: 11-4 Remi IV Strategy: 11-4 Plata O Plomo Plata O Plomo wins 27-18 Killing Intent vs. The Magpie Effect Green lights so we’re off. Killing Intent comes in hard, trying to get around to the side of Magpi, but Jamied is more than ready, and comes in at an angle, slamming the unkillable Team Loading bot into the air. Gulden quickly rights his bot, but Jamied’s already on top of him, and continues juggling him into the wall. They sit there for a while against the wall before jamied backs up and goes in for another hit, and then we go for another ride. Gulden’s definitely doing his best to get away and get going for himself again, but he’s just not getting a respite – until he finally gets a good angle in on Magpie’s wedge, and shoves it around for a but before jamied’s able to angle off. They face off again, both trying to angle in for some reason. Killing intent eventually comes out on top, since Magpie’s wedge lifts a bit from the gyro effect, and this time Gulden’s able to get him into a flipper, which sends the vert up and over. Jamied immediately starts trying to use gyroscopic effects to get himself back over, but KI is there to try and hold him down with the hammer. It kind of works for a while, but eventually Jamied navigates his vertical spinner over to a floor flipper and gets it back upright, KI nearly going over in the process as well. Jamied seems to have finally realized that his wedge is better than KI’s and doesn’t angle in this time. or maybe his poor control just prevented him from angling in the first place. Who knows :V . Regardless, KI gets smacked around for a bit. Killing intent still barely has a scratch on it – even the paint seems to be invincible – and Gulden’s right back to trying to get underneath Magpie. He fails, riding up the wedge and managing a perfect 360 back down in front of magpie. This time he gets under, and shoves the drumbot back into another floor flipper before time expires. Aggression: 8-7 Magpie Effect Damage: 8-7 Magpie Effect Strategy: 8-7 Magpie Effect Your winner, in a 24-21 decision, is Magpie Effect! Clown Recluse vs. Heaven Jaws Yeah lol no. The first hit pretty much completely trashes Heaven Jaws' wedge, exposing internals from the get-go. Shockingly, the crushing robot is still working, but another hit fixes that. Poor Bob. Clown Recluse wins by a knockout in 0:46.
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Apr 8 2018, 11:33 PM Post #10
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 5 (continued) HEAVYWEIGHTS REDEMPTION CONFERENCE Narsiccistic Hot-Shot vs. Wedgelord Wedgelord wins by FF Devil's Verdict vs Hazardous Waste Removal Kode sets their bot up in the arena- wait, that's not a dustpan. Why has Kode put a pile of spent nuclear fuel on DV's dustpan? Whilst everyone nopes the fuck out of the studio, Gabe has just enough time to make HWR spin up and move forwards, which drives them into the dustpan and smashes up the back of the pan. DV's doesn't get moving after that. Hazardous Waste Removal wins by KO in 0:31, Kode is arrested for possession of nuclear waste. Flandre Scarlett vs. Flashback Well yeah, this kinda sorta really sucks for Hii lol. The vertical spinner on Flashback isn’t what gets him, but it leaves him unstable and spinning at a low enough RPM that one of the floor flippers does. Does look like he managed to get at one of flashback’s wheels at the end though, as the whole right side seems to not be working. Unfortunately it can still kinda move in a full circle which is good enough by my metrics! Your winner, by KO in 1:12, is Flashback! Duck King vs. Lunatic Udonge udonge slides duck king into the corner spikes and he does an ouch Lunatic Udonge wins by KO in 0:46 Sinmill vs. Dysprosinator Sinmill spins up and advances out of its square, and immediately has to turn sideways to intercept a box rush from Dysprosinator. It's a big hit, and Sinmill goes flying in a shower of white sparks. Dysprosinator gets knocked sideways a bit as well, but those tracks do their job, and it keeps up the pressure as Sinmill makes a desperate escape from a conveyor belt. But it just gets rammed again, and goes onto a floor flipper, although its gyro forces keep it upright. So far there's a couple of creases low down on Dyspro's front wedge, but it's not serious damage. This fight is basically Dyspro ramming Sinmill, Sinmill bouncing into an arena hazard, trying to get away and spin back up with varying levels of success, rinse and repeat. Dysprosinator quickly loses the teeth on its lifting arm, but other than that there isn't much damage being caused. It's just too well-armored, and Sinmill is having trouble keeping its blade at full speed because there are so many damn hazards to bounce into. Eventually it gets inverted, and tears off the polycarbonate cover over Dyspro's left tread, and it puts some small holes in the wedge and bends it up a bit, but after three minutes both robots are fully functional. Judges' Decision: Damage: Sinmill 9, Dysprosinator 6 Aggression: Sinmill 3, Dysprosinator 12 Strategy: Sinmill 4, Dysprosinator 11 Your winner, by a 29-16 Judges' Decision, is Dysprosinator! America Offline vs. Neglected Waterbug AO is cagey from the off, with NW on the offensive immediately, sliding under the hinged wedge and tossing AO on its head. The axebot attempts to drive away, but a drum hit keeps them in NW's control and sees them trapped near the flamethrower in the corner. AO self-rights and attempts to recover, but simply can't get anything going, smacks from its hammer being shrugged off. While the match goes the distance, with NW repeatedly tossing its opponent and delivering hazard action, it's not hard to see who won. Aggression: 11-4 Neglected Waterbug Damage: 11-4 Neglected Waterbug Strategy: 12-3 Neglected Waterbug Neglected Waterbug wins a 34-11 Judges' Decision Chad the Inhaler vs. Cutthroat Umm... fuck if I know. Chad rams, Throaty Cut fucking cuts, Trump builds a wall, and Snoop Dogg rolls a blunt. I don't know if any of those above events are interesting enough to hold my attentio - ooh a $20! I'm off to McDonalds. Mmm, grease fix. WAIT WHAT THE FUCK CHAD AND CUTTHROAT JUST CRASHED THROUGH THE WINDOWS AND ARE DUKING IT OUT GLASS IS FLYING EVERYWHERE PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING AND RUNNING EVERYWHERE CHAD RAMS CUTTHROAT SLAMS AND I'M TRYING TO EAT A QUARTER POUNDER YOU FUCK-KNOBS HOLY SHIT GET THE OPP IN HERE PRONTO Oh wait they're gone. Yes, officer? No I didn't see two combat robots violently intrude upon the fast food establishment, you must be thinking of something else. No I am NOT under the influence, thank you. I'm under arrest? Hey, all I was doing was eating a burger in silence. is led away... as Snoop Dogg rolls a blunt in the corner Aggression: have a middle finger Damage: one wrecked McDonalds Strategy: waking up the neighbourhood at midnight Cutthroat's winner! RECKONING CONFERENCE Coup de Grâce vs. Micro Cuts We all hate long goodbye's so we'll just say that Coup lumbers towards Micro Cuts and proceeds to hammer him straight through the floor. The crew don't even bother digging Micro Cuts out, they just reseal the floor right over top of him. Coup de Grâce wins by KO in 0:51 Magnolia Grande vs. Malacoda Malacoda says fuck it and goes for it, going straight into the tempting maw of fate. The blades which are spinning checks notes uh… not sure which way. Why would it ever choose to spin any way other than outwards right? It’s hard to wrap my head around what’s occurring here but things happen quickly. The wedge rides under one blade for a short while before being knocked sideways into the other bar, and then both bars eject Malacoda with damage. It’s still moving and it attempts another run, Magnolia rides up the wedge shortly but tears the whole corner off after that. Malacoda struggles to bring its weapon to bear though, being ejected by the repelling blades each time, and in a third attempt takes far more serious damage, getting counted out shortly after. Magnolia Grande wins by KO in 1:21 Infrared vs. Dreadnought Mk 3 So Alex doesn’t really seem to have a plan for the spinner, and he sure as hell ain’t getting fully around it, so after a bit of hesitance on his part, the plan of least stupidity is probably just to go straight at it and hope for the best. He does so, and gets kicked back a bit, getting under better by the second hit, he’s able to start pressing in a bit further, but he has already taken some mean looking damage up top. He flips anyway, but it does indeed mostly just shove Infrared back a bit, most of the energy from the flip transferred to the hinged bit. Alex decides that this is a sub-par result and tries going for the sides more, and kinda sorta gets under, at the price of a real good smack to the top of his bot that nullifies that advantage... he tries again, and again just takes a good smack for his troubles, so it’s back to head-on. More grinding, and by the time he gets all the way under, the flip is distinctly... deflated. Very much a gentle shove that leaves dreadnought mostly underneath its opponent still. So Alex just kinda goes with that, and starts driving his opponent towards a wall. Infrared is, of course, not particularly cooperative, but it’s wide enough that BEES only has so much of a say in things, as the single set of wheels he does have on the wedge makes his turning direction pretty obvious. So eventually the hang out for a bit on a flamethrower for a bit before Nick escapes, and gets another good smack or two in before dreadnought starts corralling him places again. At this point though, dreadnought’s flipper isn’t the only thing that seems deflated. The whole bot seems slow to react and just lethargic, and BEES is able to escape and get some more good smacks in that are definitely starting to wear down on its opponent. Time’s just about run out though, so we’ll go to the judges. Aggression: 8-7 Dreadnought Damage: 10-5 Infrared Control: 8-7 Infrared Your winner, in a 25-20 decision, is Infrared! Charybdis vs. Mr. Bight Sky Charybdis gets up to speed and strafes out at an angle, narrowly dodging Bight Sky's "bot rush". Pat overshoots the starting square by quite a bit and ends up getting chucked by the floor flipper. As he goes to self-right, he's eviscerated by a full-speed hit from Charybdis, which renders the poor flipperbot completely immobile. Charybdis wins by KO at 0:25. Klarinette vs. Redemption Denied Three-time champ looking for a fourth tiara, versus the second of a Blood Gulch heavyweight flipper trio looking for a new bot order. Who's calling this one? Bookies, hope your odds are with you because the box is locked, the lights are on, IT'S ROBOT FIGHTIN' TIME!!! I'll try and omitting any sarcasm for this fight, but no promises. :V Anyway, we kick off the contest with Klarinette and Redemption Denied closing the distance between each other relatively quickly. Redemption Denied is pretty much locked onto Klarinette's front corners and doing his best to angle in on them, but Klarinette's drive is just too formidable to overcome. Of course, that doesn't stop Klarinette herself from suddenly angling in within a split-second of their contact, so for all their angling in we get a head-to-head contest that, to barely anyone's surprise, Klarinette turns to her advantage. Up goes Redemption Denied's flipper apparatus as Klarinette's lifter gets under. Redemption Denied isn't keen on getting his ass ram-foo'd across the arena so we get some positional arcing and turning about as he tries to wiggle free, but the .hack//Link-character-named-bot is able to keep with him. It does not prevent Redemption Denied from breaking away from the fembot, but Klarinette's lifter is still on the ground so Josh can't really follow up on any sort of momentum so he has to settle for being in close-quarters again, and that's all to the good for Lian; Klarinette plows under Redemption Denied and this time gets under enough of the flipper where Redemption Denied's ability to amble away is severely limited. With that, Klarinette makes a mad dash for one of the floor flippers, eager for some good ol' flying robot fun. Redemption Denied seems to be trying to bring one of the wheelpods away from Klarinette, so as to slip off to the side, when they get to the floor flipper and we get a bit of a mixed bag here; one of Redemption Denied's pods went over the side of the floor flipper, while one remained on the panel and the flipper itself is still propped in the air by Klarinette's lifter; Klarinette, however, got some of the flip too. What results is that Klarinette gets violently shunted backwards, while Redemption Denied goes sailing over top of Klarinette, landing on her back end somewhat, and tipping off of it back onto its wheels, right-side-up. Weird. Well, neither of them really felt the effects of that flip so each tries to get back into the game, but only succeed in turning around at the exact same time with their noses in their faces. Advantage = Klarinette? Well it seems that way. Klarinette again gets under, and starts to lift while pushing, but due to the angle, Lian can't get full mileage out of the push and Redemption Denied's flipper falls off rather early, leaving Klarinette open. Hurriedly Josh tries to press his opportunity, but Klarinette's incrementally better torque means she's able to scurry away before Redemption Denied can get a meaningful flip, and eventually the lifter is reset. Guess where we are again? With not much of a lead in the match besides a trip to the floor flipper, Klarinette feels that what she needs in the match is a bit more aggression, and decides to turn up the heat, so to speak. Not bothering to angle in this time, Klarinette crashes full force into the front of Redemption Denied, and Josh is getting frustrated at how easily the lifter seems to be defeating his robot's flipper. This time the angle is much more favourable for Lian, as it was during the first collision, and off they go to one of the corners. Lian sees the flame jets as a nice boon; Josh doesn't, but with Klarinette pretty much sandwiching herself between Redemption Denied's wheelpods, there's naught the first successor of Truth or Consequences can do about it and soon the silver bot is getting roasted by the flame jet, held securely in place by Klarinette. However, Lian, if you thought the flames were going to do more than superficial damage, I'm afraid I've got some BAD NEWS!!! I've got even worse news, however. Josh has other means of escaping, at least, when pinned in a corner. The flipper pops, and this shunts Redemption Denied aside a little, just enough so that one of the wheelpods is touching the ground. While only the pod itself is on the ground and the actual wheel isn't, it's still freed Josh from the flame jet's "abuse". Seeing this happen, Lian adjusts Klarinette a little to try and force Redemption Denied back in the corner, with a little lift from the scoop to aid, but this proves to be a mistake; the lift tilts Redemption Denied's body away enough so that it actually allows the wheel to touch the ground; the flipping bot arcs into the side of Klarinette, flipper suspended in the air, while the other pod comes around. With that Redemption Denied scoots backwards, into the wall, and then right back at Klarinette! Klarinette tries to use her better traction to turn quickly enough to counteract this, but Redemption Denied is way too close and we get Team Blood Gulch's first true aggression of the match with a gnarly flip that sends Klarinette flying onto her back! And... what's more, the flip casually landed Klarinette a one-way ticket onto a floor flipper herself! Whoosh. Planted squarely on the hazard, Klarinette gets the full-force of the toss and goes bouncing end over end across the arena, finally coming to rest on her back. Tracking her movement, Redemption Denied is on the case. With no conveyors to turn to, Lian backs Klarinette away from the incoming Redemption Denied. Josh is trying as best he can, but Klarinette is already rotating her lifter back all the way and by the time Klarinette's (nice and shapely) rear is on the edge of a conveyor, she's back to having a pressing wedge again. Undetered, Redemption Denied persists being the angler. At this point, perhaps he could catch a fish sooner than he could catch a break under Klarinette's body. Whoops, my sarcasm came out again. I tried, okay? :V The second wind that Josh got from the flippings Klarinette received seems to have been taken out of his sails as Klarinette again proves the lower bot and slides under Redemption Denied for what seems to be about the fourth or fifth time this match. Josh gets the memo and immediately backs off, but there's no lifting in the British camp this time; Klarinette just keeps pressing onwards, pun marginally intended. More finagling and twitching about in close quarters for Redemption Denied, but just like the first time Klarinette is able to track Redemption Denied relatively well, and bully him towards a corner again. This time, Josh can't seem to get control of the situation, and there his bot is again under the flame jet. Klarinette adjusts the hold she has on Redemption Denied, so that the American bot can't even use its flipper to juggle itself away. And Klarinette eats up the clock until the buzzer finally goes off, signalling the end of the match. ...I can't believe I spewed all that fucking verbiage for a fight where literally nothing happened. Aggression: 8-7 Klarinette Damage: 8-7 Redemption Denied Strategy: 8-7 Klarinette Klarinette wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Golden Blaze vs. Nyam Nyam Nya Nyam Nyam Nya charges Golden Blaze, but it doesn't get there in time to stop GB's blade from getting up to a decent speed. It's not going fast enough to damage NNN, but does catch the crusher and knock the two spinning apart. NNN goes back in, but now GB's spinner is going much faster, and it manages to catch a glancing blow on one of NNN's side pontoons and tear a hole in it. NNN continues to dash against itself against Golden Blaze's mighty spinner, but it's unable to stop it and is finally incapacitated by a heavy blow to the same pontoon, which disables the drive on that side of Nyam Nyam Nya. NNN spins itself in place, but it's still counted out. Golden Blaze wins by K.O. Meanstreak vs. Death Metal Death Metal wants to take the center of the arena, but Meanstreak is all like “nah bruh” and box rushes Not Tombstone into the floor flipper behind her starting square. First exchange is clearly in Meanstreak’s favor, but once Death Metal gets spinning up it gets more even. Death Metal’s raw damage takes its toll on Meanstreak as he isn’t really able to cleanly flank such a large weapon, and while to impacts themselves generally work out in Meanstreak’s favor, the knockback they both experience doesn’t give Meanstreak much opportunity for follow-up hits. Finally, with about a minute left, Death Metal starts having issues reaching full weapon speed, and Meanstreak, though now with a very badly dented drum, is able to capitalize, and the final 45 seconds or so is all Meanstreak. Both bots are very badly beaten up at the buzzer, and I, as the writer, am legitimately surprised this didn’t end in a KO. Funny how that happens. Aggression: 10-5 Meanstreak Damage: 9-6 Death Metal Strategy: 9-6 Meanstreak Meanstreak wins by a 25-20 judge’s decision ---- SUPERHEAVYWEIGHTS CARNAGE CONFERENCE Fenrir vs. Froral Fury Two separate threads and fury’s creator misspells the name of his own bot :V . well wep/arm ratios are the same, but as froral fury is hit for the first time, the expected problem come up, in that Fenrir’s able to get recovered and up to speed well before the flail melty. That being said, but the time they interact again, froral fury is still able to get back up to speed, and this time gets a lucky smack on part of Fenrir that doesn’t have a weapon, caving in the right side support of the drum, and leaving the weapon limply hanging. It somehow works, and the drivetrain is still there sporadically, so I guess it’s still technically in it. the drum lasts another hit, which is the same amount of time that Froral fury’s hinged attachment thing does. With the weight imbalance, the melty can’t quite stay balanced when spinning, to entertaining effects. Meanwhile, I think that Fenrir’s completely stopped working... nope! It twitched. It moved for a bit. So yeah the two bots do a lot of flailing about and don’t really connect in a meaningful fashion for the rest of the match so let’s just skip that part Aggression: 9-6 Fenrir Damage: 9-6 froral fury Strategy: 8-7 froral fury Your winner, in a 23-22 decision, is froral fury! Scrunglebot vs. Tax Cutter It would be easier if I could just these guys just exploded or some shit, but eh. Basically what makes the difference here is that GIANT SAW isn't able to react with the saw in time to Tax Cutter smacking the shit out of him. And with that obscenely powerful weapon it's really only a matter of time before GIANT SAW is GIANT KO. Tax Cutter wins by KO in 1:02 Death Turret 2000 vs. Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo Oh, what's this? Lifter's going ass first? How rude! DT2K remains mostly static as the starting buzzer goes, whilst Lifter gets going to try to angle under the wedge. Unfortunately, DT2K turns to catch the wedge, Lifter getting caught on the wedge, but not for long, as they speed off of it, and J-hook around to try another angle. There's not much else going on, just Lifter working on dodging the wedge. After about a minute or so, Hii does it, and DT2K finally leaves its starting square, without consent, as it gets rammedinto a one-two lifter combo between Lifter's, well, lifter, and the floor flipper. The remainder of the fight is more or less just Lifter bullying DT2K around the arena, it not really getting a chance to right itself. Aggression: 15-0 Lifter 2 Damage: 15-0 Lifter 2 Strategy: 11-4 Lifter 2 Lifter 2 wins 41-4. Lethal Injection vs. Needles 2.0 All right well, Alex (the one with all the wedges, not the one with the obnoxious walkers) is showing off what Lethal Injection is capable of, doing gymnastics moves in his starting square while waiting for the starting buzzer. I'm not sure this is necessary, though: Jamie is stuck in the mile-long line for delicious fried chicken from our very generous sponsor, WTC (What The Cluck?) and Needles 2.0 is being guest-driven by the bad boy of GTM, Avalanche from Ironside Industries. The match starts, and Lethal Injection comes out with lethal intent. It tries to do a funky handstand maneuver on its central prong to block the hammer of Needles, which would be an excellent strategy if Needles didn't miss completely. Alex shrugs, lowers his bot to the floor again, and slides the center prong under Needles, and lifts it over onto its rear as well as slamming it into the arena sidewall, which makes it end up on its back. Needles self-rights, only to get bumped onto a floor flipper again by Lethal Injection. Needles lands on its wheels, comes in again, and this time hits dead-center with the hammer... as in, the center of LI which is empty space for the lifting spikes to rotate. Let's zoom in on the drivers' booths, where you can see the regret creeping across Ava's face as he realizes that it's not that Jamie's a bad driver, Needles 2.0 is just one of those robots. You know what, let's just blast Yakety Sax over the PA system. Needles finally gets a hit, but does absolutely nothing but a little pinprick dent. Lethal Injection proceeds to grab its wedge and drag it over to the conveyor belt, and let it get fed into the floor flipper. Needles barrel rolls onto the belt again, gets fed back into the floor flipper as it retracts, and gets stuck under it. And yeah... enjoy two more minutes of Needles On Ice, a joint presentation by Cirque De Soleil and The Three Stooges. Judges' Decision: Damage: Lethal Injection 3 8, Needles 2.0 7 Aggression: Lethal Injection 3 10, Needles 2.0 5 Strategy: Lethal Injection 3 14, Needles 2.0 1 Your winner, by a 662-6.13 Judges' Decision (if you're going to put a number in your robot's name, use Roman Numerals, people), is Lethal Injection 3! Danger Noodle vs. Cyclone Danger Noodle's tornado insurance is proven redundant as he wins by FF Hartmann's Youkai Bot vs. Ikea's Guard Dog Ikea box rushes. For Sweden or some shit. Who gives a fuck? HYB has the lifter pointed at Ikea and then at the last possible second tries to turn around, since that's when he finally got up to speed. Whoops. Ikea gets under. Lift? Nope, HYB's own lifter falls off the wedge. Guess you forgot how steep your own lifter is, Riley. Well he's stuck on HYB's lifter, but HYB isn't lifting. Strange. He wants to turn again, but HYB is finding it a little hard to turn while being pushed across the arena by Ikea, who just wants to get him to a hazard. Conveyor time? Conveyor time. Except when HYB hits the wall. Ping! HYB goes flying. Ikea chases like the Guard Dog it is. HYB keeps pointing the lifter at Ikea for some reason. Ikea gets under but every time he starts to lift, HYB's own lifter falls back down. And this goes on and on with neither of them really able to do much of anything to the other. Oh there we are. The booing has commenced. Because the match ended. Convenient. :V Aggression: 15-0 Ikea's Guard Dog Damage: 8-7 Ikea's Guard Dog Strategy: 8-7 Hartmann's Youkai Bot Ikea's Guard Dog wins by a 30-15 judges' decision. Count Bleck vs. Parasoul Parasoul basically does this. Yeah, the cleaners are going to have fun with this one. Aggression: 15-0 Parasoul Damage: 15-0 Count Bleck Strategy: 8-7 Parasoul Parasoul wins 23-22. AFTERMATH CONFERENCE Jack Frost vs. Howler III Alex goes into his sideways-presenting pattern to protect his wheels. Josh tries to get around for a bit, before admitting that his robot has 4 speed and just going for it. The disc on Jack Frost slips under the spinning bar on the Howler and rips a ton of hardware off a track pod in a tremendous explosion that sends both robots flying. Frost’s weapon was ruined by the impact with Howler’s, but Howler’s not in a good state of affairs, rolling around in circles. The weapon can’t spin without touching the floor due to the damaged pod, so Frost just pushes it around until it gets stuck in a corner and counted out. Jack Frost wins by KO in 1:21 Chemical Explosion vs. BeEf KiNg Whatever man, this fight is just one big KABOOM. That first hit more or less demolishes CE's weapon and BK's isn't looking too good either, but still kinda functional. Another hit pretty much finishes off CE. Beef King wins by KO in 0:49 Triple 6 vs. Xonotic Ok so why is Mystic so nerveous about this one and shaba so confident? It like, should be the reverse :V cuz yeah Triple six is just out-wedged and out-drivetrained here, even with Xonotic being rather long. For her credit Shaba’s doing the best with what she has, able to capitalize when she does get under, but by and large they go head-on, which means that by and large Xonotic wins the engagements. Aggression: 8-7 Xonotic Damage: 8-7 Xonotic Control: 9-6 Xonotic Your winner, in a 25-20 decision, is Xonotic! Space Cadet vs. Ravex So Gulden actually has a good point here: Space Cadet’s wedges have no indication of being hinged. It doesn’t matter too much, though, because Syl’s strategy is so cautious it’s almost like they knew this would be a problem. Ravex is able to fend Space Cadet off with his lifter for a while before going on the offensive himself, and this fight quickly turns into a positioning battle. Space Cadet’s speed is able to win out most of the exchanges, but whenever Ravex got under… boy oh boy did he take advantage of the situation. Space Cadet takes a few trips to the arena flamethrowers over the course of the match. The buzzer rings, and there’s no clear winner. Man, I’d hate to be a judge for this one Aggression: 8-7 Space Cadet Damage: 8-7 Ravex Strategy: 8-7 Ravex And after a few minutes of nailbiting from the audience, the roboteers, and even one of the judges, a 23-22 decision comes in for… Ravex! Krakatoa vs. Khnum Gosh darn it ya guys you're supposed to tell me what configs you're using. I'm assuming you're both using your forks and not your plows. Khnum launches itself at MAXIMUM SPEED at Krakatoa, which also moves out, but at an angle to try to get at Khnum's side. This results in the two robots colliding corner-to-corner. Krakatoa's fork gets underneath Khnum's hinged wedge and Khnum ramps off of Krakatoa, flying a few feet through the air before skidding to a halt. The two reset and Khnum charges in again. This time the two meet head to head, and the forks interlock. A pushing match ensues, and then both try lifting the other only to find they're stuck together. The match is stopped so our resident prybar monkey can jimmy them apart again. After the fight resumes, Khnum's wild driving finally gives Krakatoa an opportunity to get underneath and grab its opponent. Khnum is raised up in the air a bit and then flops back down as Krakatoa tilts forward, but it takes it a while to escape. Krakatoa's flamethrower engulfs it in flame, causing the audience to cheer. Khnum's Tokyo drifting around the arena does give it a few good slams into Krakatoa, but Krakatoa gets another couple clamps in by the end of the match. The judges' verdict: Damage: 9-6 Krakatoa Strategy: 10-5 Krakatoa Aggression: 8-7 Khnum Krakatoa wins 26-19. Speed Bison vs. Phantasmic Slammer Aaugh I can't stand it! Well this fight is pretty back and forth with them alternating who get's under who at different points. Slammer tries a few flips, but never quite gets Speed Bison flipped over. Speed Bison for his part concentrates more on slamming and trying to eat up clock with Slammer pinned in a corner which he manages a couple times, other times having to slam him into the wall and not maintaining fully control over him very long. Pretty dull overall. Aggression: 9-6 Speed Bison Damage: 8-7 Phantasmic Slammer Strategy: 8-7 Speed Bison Speed Bison wins 24-21 Panzer Strike Mk. II vs. Metal Heck Yep, that weapon certainly does protect you from hammer blows, Nick. Except when it's not spinning. :V Thus, Panzer is eventually able to get a blow that pretty much kills Metal Heck. ... Or that's what I would say if Metal Heck didn't actually have a better drivetrain. So, what actually happened is that Metal Heck is pretty much able to eat the plow away over the course of the match while being protected from the hammer. The few swings Ava attempts result in a mangled weapon. But he did make it to the end of the match so that's something. Aggression: 8-7 Metal Heck Damage: 15-0 Metal Heck Strategy: 10-5 Metal Heck Metal Heck wins by a 33-12 judges' decision.
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Apr 17 2018, 11:41 AM Post #11
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 6 LIGHTWEIGHTS DEFIANCE CONFERENCE Tidal Wave II vs. Nervous Wedge Boy You know in sports when that one timorous person suddenly snaps and goes ballistic on everyone? That basically happens here, NWB is so terrified of being hit by Tidal Wave's fearsome drum that it manages to bulldoze and slam it all about the arena in a shocking display of pure aggression. Hammers, spinners, bumpers, slams into the wall, Tidal Wave gets a little bit of everything until it eventually fizzles to a mildly smoking halt. Nervous Wedge Boy wins by KO in 1:56 La Valette vs. GREEN BRICK GREEN BRICK IS A RACECAR VRRRRRRRRRRRRRR whoa look at that he actually hit La Valette. La Valette goes flying BUT SO DOES GREEN BRICK LIKE IT CRASHED INTO ANOTHER CAR SPINSPINSPINSPINSPIN WHEEEEEEEEE. And from there he seems to be having major driving problems! LIKE SOMEONE COVERED HIS WHEELS IN OIL. DRIFT. WHEEEEEEEEEE. Now La Valette isn't the most controlled bot himself but he seems to have all the grace and dexterity of a professional ice skater compared to GREEN FUCKING RACECAR ERRRRRRRRRRRRR OUCH. GREEN BRICK DROVE INTO THE PADDLES. WHICH SEND HIM TUMBLING OVER AND OVER. And... he's on his side. Alex looks on bemusedly as Noah keeps making NASCAR sound effects. Perhaps he'll be a professional beatboxer someday. La Valette wins by a knockout in 1:44. Bluebot vs Eat Me Too spins up quickly, whilst Bluebot moves to get in close, and... stops, inches from that deadly spinning blade. And waits. And continues waiting... Just imagine the Jeopardy theme playing here. Eventually, starts spinning down a bit to reposition, as this is clearly getting too dull for everyone. Bluebot takes the opportunity, and pushes into the wall, smashing up their body significantly with the drum as they get thrown into the wall. doesn't look like it's doing too hot at all, but manages to speed off and spin up again. Bluebot tries the same strategy, but gets just a little too close and takes a huge hit, the entire front of the machine almost completely torn off. Bluebot isn't moving any more, whilst does a victory spin. Eat Me Too wins by KO in 1:42. Sir Morphsalot vs. Witness Me! We're really doing the RP word quota wonders, aren't we boys? Well whatever. Witness Me!'s massive drivetrain advantage pretty much pays dividends and allows him to throw Sir Morphsalot around the arena. He didn't say anything about hazards but I'm going to assume that Riley had them in mind at least, and one pulverizer trip pretty much cripples Morphsalot to the point where he's easily sent back in again. And again. And then blunt force trauma. And then death. Witness Me! wins by a knockout in 1:55. Ayame vs. Mushroom Cloud You know what happens when you RP late? HUH? YOU JUST MADE THE LIST! Eh whatever. No ones doing much interesting so a write up isn’t going to be much more effort. Something something wedge wedge. Maybe some hazards right? Back and forth, etc etc. Aggression: 8-7 Mushroom Cloud Damage: 8-7 Ayame Strategy: 8-7 Ayame Ayame wins 23-22 The Servant's Assistant 4 vs. Flash Flood It’s one of those fights, huh. Well I guess to start they both angle in but TSA is pressing so he gets under. Whee. Dylan tries to back off but it’s just a 1 point speed advantage and TSA’s already moving in the direction that you’re trying to escape in so yeah no CLAMP. Dylan eventually gets free after being shoved up against the wall for a bit (turns out hammers don’t make the best of clamps against flippers), and this time gets under the side of TSA and shoves underneath it. he manages to get all the way under eventually and pins TSA sideways against the wall, though lian’s able to free himself with the axe and land upright. They face off, charge at each other, and miss. Lul. They go again, and FF gets under again, Lian not quite able to press in time. This time it’s into the spinner we go, and TSA gets smacked away, a small gash apparent in the back of the bot. There’s a lot more kind of inconclusive engagements, of which TSA seems to be winning about 2/3 before something important happens again, with FF getting underneath and flipping TSA into a wall again, this time getting about 20 seconds of pin time in. of course then lian’s able to get a decent clamp onto Flash flood that sees him end up under the hammer for a few shots, fucking up FF’s left side top spike things. They reset, and this time Dylan goes for a bit of a feint – looks like he’s gonna angle in from TSA’s right, but then just goes straight in, seemingly used to Lian trying the exact same tactic for the entire match. With TSA pressing, lian’s not able to swing around his front in time to react to the head-on attack, and he gets flipped into the spinning bumper with 5 seconds left to play. Aggression: 8-7 Flash Flood Damage: 8-7 Flash Flood Strategy: 8-7 TSA Total: 23-22 Your winner, in a spit decision, is Flash Flood! Blitz Mk. III vs. Hoarfrost I'd make this a fun result but I'm running on a timer here, as in I have to type this before going to work. :V So what ends up happening is that Hoarfrost gets under Blitz, and slams him into the wall, crumpling him up like an accordion. Okay that isn't exactly what happened, but you get the point. Hoarfrost wins by a knockout in 0:45. VENGEANCE CONFERENCE Anti-Virus vs. Exotherm We got a couple of speed demons here, huh? Both look ready for some NASCAR (next race when Badnik pls BibleThump) race kinda schtick, and the match itself reflects that. Anti-Virus is poking around and looking for an opening. Then goes for a pelvic thrust! Whoo! WHOOOOO! Stop on your right foot DON'T FORGET IT! Meanwhile Exotherm decided (whether BEES wanted to or not) to take a more Initial D approach to this race, taking it around town by sliding all over the arena. 3 speed:traction disparity is some smarts innit? But yeah this is basically longspeak for "Exotherm eventually fucks up and Anti-Virus gets under the side". All in a matter of 25 seconds! Good job Anti-Virus. And bad luck to Exotherm who gets one side of it's forks torn off by the bumper-spinner. Ouch! Then Anti-Virus is able to just shove Exotherm's own half-ripped wedge into the weapon Final Destiny-style to make it a fully-ripped off wedge. Exotherm's spinner hits Anti-Virus' plow. Oh no! Except not really since that plow is 12 armor against 13 weapon. Anti-Virus gets Exotherm over to the pulverizer and the match ends then and there. Anti-Virus wins by KO in 1:04. Nick's Fuzzy Rules vs. Yellow Buzzard Nick’s Fuzzy Rules wins by a very hard-fought and hard-written FF Cream vs. The Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins Oh boy. Flailing intensifies. Joon starts to spin up clockwise, and Cream copies it. But that split second it spent watching which way its opponent was spinning delays its own spinup for a crucial split second. Shion probably still wouldn’t have been able to box rush it if Cream had done anything to avoid it, but instead Cream decides to go straight forward, and the starting squares in this arena are fairly close together. Long story short, Shion charges into the deadly circle of chains, and BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG Shion manages to reach Cream’s body thanks to its wedge deflecting the flails away. In the meantime Cream has been reduced to about half speed. Cream’s trackballs allow it to not get high-centered. Unfortunately Shion’s wedge acts as a ramp, and Cream jumps several feet in the air and flies sideways at moderate speed, wobbling all over the place. Cream bounces down and gets back up to speed. It heads for Joon again, but Shion intercepts it again. However, this time Cream’s flails catch the side of Shion and knock it away… sort of, a little bit. Fun fact: flails are light. They may have plenty of energy, but not that much momentum, which means Shion isn’t launched far enough that it can’t intercept Cream again before it reaches Joon. The two melties do make contact, but Cream is slowed enough that neither does any real damage. Things continue like this for pretty much the whole match. Cream can’t damage Shion and it can’t hit Joon at full speed, but Shion can’t stop Cream spinning and let Joon get to its body. At some point Joon loses half of one if its chains, but it keeps wobbling around the arena. Shion’s wedge and right side have had the paint pretty much sandblasted off them and the bot’s covered in scrapes and dents, but it’s still fully functional, as is Cream. And it goes to the judges like that, with no real clash of the spinners. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Cream 10, Despicable twins 5 Aggression: Cream 7, Despicable Twins 8 Strategy: Cream 4, Despicable Twins 11 Your winner, by a 24-21 Split Decision, is The Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins! Dr. Robotnik vs. Electric Agression “I'm pretty sure 5 points still gives his weapon a boost even though it's a split stat.” I’M AFRAID I’VE GOT SOME – actually this is probably good news because that is not how that works :V . Anywho Robotnik has something approaching a reasonable control ratio and only 1 less speed than EA so this flanking plan goes about as well as you might – CRASH – yup, that’s the sound of EA’s jaw setup getting knocked almost entirely off in a single hit. This amazingly doesn’t really affect his drive, however, apart from a bit of a list to one side. Tbr also seems to have figured out that maybe flanking a robot with about the same speed as him is a poor plan and just goes straight at him with the well armored rear wedge. This turns it into a much better fight and EA actually almost goes the distance until he oversteers (probably from the previous damage), and opens up his side to robotnik. NWOWWE doesn’t get a great hit in either (also oversteers!), but he at least gets a decent slap at one of the wheels that somehow cuts out power to that whole side of the drive – damn that spinner’s packing power. Anywho a few more hits finish things now that EA can’t easily protect itself. Your winner, by KO in 2:44, is Dr. Robotnik! Experiment 626 vs. White Lightning Here we go again. What to do with this here? Well again this is one of those fights where it kinda goes back and forth as we go along. The main difference is when White Lightning gets pushed into a hazard it hurts more. With all the stuff going on, there isn’t much cause for slots to run, but I guess them’s the breaks. So yeah. Aggression: 9-6 White Lightning Damage: 11-4 Experiment 626 Strategy: 8-7 Experiment 626 Experiment 626 wins 25-20 Ramshock vs. The Thieving Magpie Actually Danielle you don't have the better wedge (all the time, at least) because Pat can still press his lifter and you merely have the flipper which acts like a massive hinged wedge. Which somehow almost doesn't make a difference because Pat decides to try and go after Magpie's sides at first. What? Magpie just barrels in like a rocket and Pat just barely has enough time to get the lifter pointed at Magpie, but can't press in time. Magpie gets under. Hoo boy. Flip. Ramshock gets launched. Magpie does it again and starts chaining flips until Ramshock can get away. From there Pat gets a little smarter and starts using the lifter to press, meaning he starts getting under Magpie more and more. After some predatory stalking with the lifter constantly getting under, Ramshock is able to herd Magpie to the bumper and it tears a small gash in the armour, but nothing too serious. Magpie keeps coming on like a freight train though, but can't regain the advantage it had earlier and keeps getting gotten under, but at least is able to stay away from the hazards for the duration. Aggression: 11-4 The Thieving Magpie Damage: 9-6 Ramshock Strategy: 9-6 Ramshock The Thieving Magpie breaks Ramshock's win streak at last with a 23-22 split judges' decision. HIRricaine vs. Pinstripe Pinstripe... WITH THE FORFEIT WIN. ---- MIDDLEWEIGHTS ANNIHILATION CONFERENCE Kid A vs. G.B.J. Oh boy, I love multi config bots that make me have to pull up the main thread for a picture instead of just being able to use the handy one page guide! Welp, Kid A mostly manages to avoid getting fully scooped up in the dustpan for a good chunk of the fight, but only gets G.B.J. to the hazards late in the fight. I suppose it’s pretty even as there was a nice saw attack from G.B.J. about 20 seconds before the fight ends. Aggression: 9-6 Kid A Damage: 8-7 Kid A Strategy: 8-7 G.B.J. Kid A wins 24-21 Stingray vs. Eye of n00t Eye of n00t has elected to start sideways, and as the match starts and Stingray rushes in, it dodges to the side. However, Stringray doesn't go right for its opponent, instead curving around as it drives to get around behind it. Eye of n00t tries to turn around to face it, but it's too late: Stingray punches it from behind. EoN's drum wasn't fully up to speed, but it's still going fast enough to launch itself several feet into the air as it smashes into the top of the puncher. The puncher is now missing its top tooth, but it still retracts properly as Stingray goes to flank EoN again. EoN knows it needs to get up to speed and runs away from Stingray while it does so. Unfortunately for it, Stingray is twice as fast and quickly catches up and punches it in the back again. Eye of n00t goes flying once more, and the puncher is starting to look really dented up. The same routine continues a few more times until the punching bar finally gets bent enough that it's unable to retract. This prompts Laz to finally give up on running away and just go in for a hit. Stingray continues to circle around, trying to get at its rear side, and as EoN turns to face it, the gyro forces from that huge drum raise one side of it way up into the air. This causes the teeth on the side drumette to come into contact with the ground and start digging a trench in the floor and spinning Eye of n00t further out of control. Stingray takes its chances and goes in anyway, poking its ramming bar at EoN's wheel. It's a good hit, but unfortunately for Stingray, n00t's drum catches the side of the bar and tears it off completely, sending both bots spinning away and the bar flying into the lexan. Whoa! The buzzer sounds, and the audience seems a bit relieved. The judges deliberate, and rank the two thusly: Damage: 10-5 Eye of n00t Aggression: 11-4 Stingray Strategy: 8-7 Stingray Stingray wins 24-21! The Maw vs. Harbinger Well, both bots immediately charge at each other, meeting wedge to wedge. The Maw actually gets underneath Harbinger, but its upper set of teeth catches Harbinger’s wedge and the hinge has enough range that Harbinger’s wheels stay on the ground. The impact knocks The Maw back a little, and then the tracks start to slide as Harbinger’s powerful drivetrain slowly forces it backwards! The Maw fires its ram though, sending both bots skidding apart, and it gets away. The two go after each other again, and this time they hit at an angle where Harbinger actually gets underneath. The Maw tries to drive over its opponent, but kind of gets stuck on top of it, gets thrown forward again by Harbinger’s wheels, and ends up getting slammed into the wall. Harbinger wasn’t able to get it into a hazard, though, and they’re away again, pretty much just shoving each other around. Eventually The Maw gets under the side of Harbinger and pushes it under the hammer, but the hammer ends up missing due to the thwackbot’s odd shape. And in the meantime The Maw has taken a couple of shots from the flippers and springs. Meanwhile, in the course of the battle each robot has driven over its opponent’s starting square once, then twice. Harbinger rolls Sonic, Tails, Sonic. The Maw rolls Tails… Tails… could this be it? Eggman. Nope, never mind. The Maw rolls Eggman… Eggman… Sonic. And Harbinger rolls Tails… Tails… Tails! This fight’s gonna get interesting now! Wait a minute… seven seconds left, are you kidding me? Quickly Harbinger, push The Maw into the bumper! Go, go, go, gotta go fast - AAAAND The Maw jostles itself free with its ramming thingy, resulting in time running out. So we go to the judges. It definitely seemed like Harbinger was doing a lot more pushing, but it also got its thwacking pole bent a little the one time it got pushed into the bumper. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Harbinger 6, The Maw 9 Aggression: Harbinger 9, The Maw 6 Strategy: Harbinger 10, The Maw 5 Your winner, by a 25-20 Judges’ Decision, is Harbinger! Instigator vs. Magica Instigator wins by a forfeit. Biological Warfare vs. Magnolia Pico Magnolia wins by FF. I guess BW was too busy running from someone actually trying to enforce the Geneva convention for once Lulver vs. Harpy Right. Lulver spins up and pretty much aims solely for the ends of Harpy's plow, hoping to smack the wheels with its overcutting blade. Well it would have been more successful if Harpy didn't have a better drivetrain in all aspects. :V Nonetheless it does actually do some, if negligible, damage to the upper part of Harpy's plow, but that's nothing compared to what the hazards do to Lulver when Harpy shoves him into them. After a second trip to the hammer, Harpy pretty much serves up some Lulver hotcakes. Get 'em while they're hot! Harpy wins by a knockout in 1:34. Sundancer vs. Diablo Genesis Sundancer's tricky driving allows it to avoid a head-to-head with the dustpan of DG, but the raised "flamp" weapon type thing does prevent the hammer from getting proper hits, being at the right angle for Sundancer to kick itself up a little mid-swing and allow DG to slip underneath. The mecanum machine is edged backward towards the hazards a few times, but manages to slip free in the early going and land a couple of sidelong strikes on the supporting bars in the middle of DG's flamp, bending them slightly and forcing the weapon back down. However, once DG manages to escape, it snaps the weapon back open again. Another head-to-head sees DG ease Sundancer backwards into a spinning bumper, and quite a lot of the rollers on one wheel are removed. With its mobility impaired, Sundancer has a much trickier time of it, DG more reliably getting the hammerbot under its control, and with an extended trip to the arena mallets, Sundancer is put down for the count. Diablo Genesis wins by KO in 2:05 REVOLUTION CONFERENCE Metal 2 vs. Marauder Pat is a true trailblazer. He knows what to do. He wants to avoid the front of Marauder. And the walls. This guy knows what he wants. Well, unfortunately, you don't always get what you want, especially against a robot with enough armour to withstand your spinner for the match and a drivetrain that knocks you out of the park. So Marauder pretty much has his way with the cardboard bot, but at least Pat manages to survive to the buzzer with the shell spinner's weapon armour. Aggression: 13-2 Marauder Damage: 9-6 Metal 2 Strategy: 9-6 Marauder Marauder wins by a 28-17 judges' decision. The Magpie Effect vs. Clown Recluse Hilariously, we got TWO results within seconds with the same decision! Here are both of them. (Kody's version) Right. Clown reverses to the wall and lays there like a slug. Magpie (not the thieving kind, mind you) tries to bait him into a game of "I dare you to step across this line". HFL is all like "lolnope" so we get one hell of a standoff with the crowd booing and the refs telling HFL he'd better move his bot or he'll be counted out. So Clown moves, Magpie rushes in towards an exposed area... only for Clown's weapon to catch the wedge and... jesus christ. I don't think I've seen a wedge torn into that many pieces before. But don't quote me on that. Well Magpie certainly isn't getting under anyone now so we're resigned to a multitude of weapon-to-weapon hits that do some nasty damage to Magpie's drum but send Clown flying across the arena. Magpie does finally catch Clown before he can bring the spinner in again, but the drum's not nearly working as well as he'd like it to and it only causes a big dent in Clown's armour. We get more weapon-to-weapon from there, although we could kind of say it's more like "Clown Recluse proceeds to perform a dissection of what's inside a robot's drum". Magpie survives to the buzzer, thanking its lucky stars. Aggression: 10-5 The Magpie Effect Damage: 12-3 Clown Recluse Strategy: 8-7 Clown Recluse Clown Recluse wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. (Laz's version) The fight begins with a Mexican standoff, but there aren't any Mexicans (at least not that I know of) - just Jamie and HFL staring each other down, each taunting and trying to goad the other into making the first move. Jamie eventually just says "fuck it" and goes for a flanking move to get to Clown Recluse's wheels. This, uh, fails, and they back off and reset. It becomes a really cagey match really quickly, until HFL realizes that his opponent isn't going to be flanking him while he's in horizontal mode. Clown Recluse manages to catch Jamie going for the flank again, and this time it basically obliterates The Magpie Effect's wedge. There's a horrible grinding noise and a shower of pretty sparks as the peeled back piece of metal interferes with the massive drum that it was formerly in service of. The match quickly goes south for the Edgy Robotics entry, and Clown Recluse scores a few more hits while TME is left mostly defenseless. Late in the match, the shredded remains of the wedge are torn completely free and TME scores some decent hits, kicking Clown Recluse backwards and managing to warp one of its weapon supports. Clown Recluse finishes the match struggling to spin up, but TME is in the same boat, and sans wedge to boot. The judges get their scorecards out. Aggression: 8-7 The Magpie Effect Damage: 9-6 Clown Recluse Strategy: 9-6 Clown Recluse Clown Recluse wins a 25-20 judges' decision Lupi vs. Killing Intent This match is just a kind of hilarious back and forth of robots flying across the arena. Usually it’s KI getting under, so Lupi’s rear tooth hits the ground and the bot goes flying off into walls, hazards (especially funny is when it hits the flippers, though it did hit the spinner at least once), but Lupi does get under once in the beginning and somewhere towards the middle of the match when KI’s wedge hits a floor seam and pops up before impact. KI isn’t really doing the best job of actually controlling his opponent, but it’s also taken exactly no damage in a 3 minute fight against a very powerful spinner, so there’s that. Aggression: 9-6 Killing Intent Damage: 8-7 Killing Intent Strategy: 9-6 Lupi Your winner, in a 23-22 decision, is Killing Intent! WhipCoil vs. Raus Mk. IV Okay, after clarifying with other staff members I think I’m good to go for writing this one. Dylan thanks his lucky stars that he’s faster since that prevents Raus from simply murdering him straight away. That said Raus still doesn’t make it easy for Whipcoil and it takes a bit of time for Whipcoil to find a relatively safe opening to wedge. He pins Raus against the wall since Raus was pretty near it anyway. He isn’t very successful at getting him to hazards though. After separating, we’re back where we started. The next time Whipcoil makes a big move, the drum catches the upper jaw and nearly rips it off. At least he’s still got the bottom jaw so he can still wedge Raus, and this time he manages to push him to the bumper, which knocks Raus away with a heavy tear. Drum is still okay and time is wasting. With a little over 30 seconds left Raus lands a big shot on Whipcoil that seems to have done the trick. Raus Mk. IV wins by KO in 2:52 Patchouli vs. Glitch Patchouli appears to be approaching ass-first toward its opponent, does it want to get smashed up? Although its weapon power is making it veer toward one side. Glitch seems to have a tasty looking shot lined up for its wheels already, and in it comes wait Patchouli is spinning around watch out for the blade-POW! Patchouli comes down heavily near the south paddles after the hit, obviously rattled but still moving around. Glitch, meanwhile, ends up just by one of the spinning bumpers, underneath a hammer, and strewn along one wall. Unfortunately, none of the several different pieces of Glitch appear to be functioning. Patchouli wins by KO in 0:27 Heaven Jaws 3 vs. Remi IV Getting real tired of your shit Bob. Remi IV wins by a forfeit. Plata O Plomo vs. Mole Butcher Both bots start out rushing each other, trying to angle in enough. PoP wins out and lobs Mole Butcher skyward. Mole lands with a crash on its side, wiggling violently as it begins to self-right, but gets launched by PoP again. Two more flips later, and Mole is left on its side again, under the hammer. It just about manages to get up, but only because one of its forks got bent up by the hammer enough to be able to push it over. Once back on its wheels, Mole goes for another rush, and gets tipped over again, and this time, it's left there to be counted out. Plata O Plomo wins by KO in 1:57.
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Apr 17 2018, 11:41 AM Post #12
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 6 (continued) HEAVYWEIGHTS REDEMPTION CONFERENCE Hazardous Waste Removal vs. Flandre Scarlett Well I guess Zach kinda gave up on this one. Flandre half-heartedly stumbles out of its square as Heavy Weapons Robot lopes out even more slowly. IT COSTS $400,000 TO SPIN THIS WEAPON... FOR 12 SECONDS. And in that 12 seconds, we get a fantastical collision which sees one of Flandre's hammers get nearly torn right off, hanging on by just a piece of bent metal. CRY SOME MORE. HWR is pretty much fine, though one of the teeth has a tiny chip in it. Flandre is pretty much unstable now so Zach quickly throws in the towel to spare his robot any further damage while Gabe takes a bite out of his Sandvich. DON'T RUN, IT'S JUST HAM. Hazardous Waste Removal wins by a technical knockout (NIESCH) in 0:42. Neglected Waterbug vs. Chad the Inhaler Fitting I’d get one of these fights. Eh, we’ll just say Chad eventually runs into one of the bumpers which knocks him around the arena and into the hammer after more bouncing around. Not much for NW to do really. Neglected Waterbug wins by KO in 1:11 Wedgelord vs. America Offline Wedgelord rockets out of their starting box, slamming AOL into the far wall, and setting off the slots. Sonic... Sonic... Tails. Boo. Since neither's weapons can damage the other, it's an intense bout of pure driving skill, and Wedgelord has the drivetrain to make this easy, dominating AOL on its tour of the arena hazards. Syl manages to slip off of the wedge a few times and pushes back, though to less effect than their opponent. Both take strikes from the hammer after getting pushed into them by the other. Eventually, the fight is concluded by the bell, both bots having left a good coating of rubber all over the floor. Hopefully the Egg Pawns have some powerful cleaning modules. Aggression: 12-3 Wedgelord Damage: 9-6 America Offline Strategy: 9-6 America Offline Wedgelord wins 24-21. Lunatic Udonge vs. Narsiccistic Hot-Shot Lunatic Udonge wins by a forfeit. Flashback vs. Duck King Well, Duck King’s patented combination of PTFE wheels and using relays for its drivetrain immediately comes into play, and it starts sliding all over the place. And not in a Tokyo Drift way either, we’re talking “Southern California Driver Moves to Michigan” here. Flashback, meanwhile, attempts to chase its opponent down and gets to its side, but doesn’t have much success because nobody knows where the hell Duck King is going. Eventually it catches it when Duck King bangs into the wall, though, and Flashback’s disc tosses it onto its back. This leaves Duck King high-centered and unable to self-right. Your winner, by knockout in 1:22, is Flashback! Cutthroat vs. Sinmill Try not to die? Well throwing yourself facefirst into a big spinner with reckless abandon isn’t the greatest start to that plan. Welp that first shot hurt a fair amount. Things kinda go downhill from there. Cutthroat simply can’t effectively bully Sinmill around and it doesn’t take too long for the damage to really pile up. Sinmill wins by KO in 1:43 Dysprosinator vs. Devil's Verdict Uhhh... DV gets under more often but rarely gets anything done due to the molasses clamps, Dysprosinator gets under somewhat frequently, and is usually able to boss around DV pretty well, but DV has like, 9 armor so occasional hazard visits aren’t really gonna put it down. Aggression: 8-7 Dysprosinator Damage: 8-7 Dysprosinator Control: 8-7 Devil’s Verdict Your winner, in a 23-22 decision, is Dysprosinator! RECKONING CONFERENCE Malacoda vs. Infrared Mkay, so let's take into account what Spatch is saying here. A cumulative bonus makes Malacoda's front wedge bonus illegal... then every single spinner that has a wedge with an armour bonus is also illegal. Does that make sense? Regardless, Malacoda tanks the first hit from Infrared on the forks, but there's already a few gashes. Malacoda makes contact with Infrared's drum and flings him backward. I guess the angle didn't work, Spatch. However, the next hit actually catches one of the tears in the forks Infrared already made and warps the fork a little, as well as sending Malacoda backwards this time. From there Infrared slowly begins to chew up Malacoda's front forks, with Malacoda getting in an occasional retaliating blow while not doing much damage with it. At the end Malacoda's forks are almost a distant memory, while Infrared's drum has a lot of dents in the teeth. Aggression: 9-6 Malacoda Damage: 11-4 Infrared Strategy: 8-7 Infrared Infrared wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. Nyam Nyam Nya vs. Meanstreak Well, actually Jamie, apparently you do need points for a srimech, but since you actually have some dedicated weapon power, I'll spare you. Not that it mattered in the long run. Meanstreak pretty much batters Nyam around with its underpowered drum and eventually gets it stuck upside-down underneath the hammer, where it tries to self-right but the hammer comes down so hard it damages the srimech and leaves Nyam with no way to actually right itself, so unfortunately it suffers a KO. Meanstreak wins by a knockout in 1:28. Micro Cuts vs. Golden Blaze Micro Cuts wins by FF Mr. Bight Sky vs. Coup de Grâce Okay so W0lf is trying to angle in (and fails spectacularly due to being slower, and as a shuffler no less). Meanwhile Mr. Bight Sky just drives directly at the opponent, skidding around a couple degrees in the process. I'm pretty sure Pat would have just tried the ol' "bot rush" no matter the situation, but it's working well here. Like, really well. He goofs up trying to look for an OOTA zone in an arena without any, but otherwise does an excellent job of sliding under CdG's wedge. W0lf is looking for opportunities to strike back if Pat misfires, but there's no misfiring to be seen when your chassis is the size of a damn school bus. I don't know whether it's the fact that Bight Sky is able to interrupt any angling attempts or the fact that CdG has nothing but flimsy hinged wedges to try and get under with, but this ends up being a clownstomp in Pat's favor. CdG gets punted around the arena a whole lot but doesn't get KO'd by any of the hazards by the time the match is over. Judge's Decision: Aggression: 9-6 Mr. Bight Sky Damage: 8-7 Mr. Bight Sky Strategy: 10-5 Mr. Bight Sky bot rush: 42069-0 Mr. Bight Sky Mr. Bight Sky wins by a pretty lopsided judge's decision. Dreadnought Mk 3 vs. Charybdis Char gets up to thwacking speed and tries some fancy moves to fake out Dreadnought, too bad his movement speed is no real match for the British flipper bot. Dreadnought barrels into him and sends him pinballing away. It does hurt Dreadnought to be sure, but Char ends up bounding right into the spinner himself. Dreadnought speeds off to hunt down the thwackbot. He ends up eating another shot to knock him back to the hazards and the front of Dreadnought has seen better days In fact, other than Alex himself after a pub crawl, it may be the ugliest thing you’ll see all week. The definitive moment comes on the next big hit that seems to have put down Dreadnought but Charybdis seems to get put down by the spinner himself. Double KO folks! Aggression: 14-1 Dreadnought Damage: 10-5 Charybdis Strategy: 8-7 Charybdis Dreadnought wins 26-19 Death Metal vs. Klarinette Cat-and-mouse with these two, Death Metal playing the role of the vicious Scandanavian Battle Mouse with a few solid impacts in the early going. The spinning bar dents up Klarinette's lifter quite nicely, even leaving a nice gash in the sturdy weapon. Klarinette does get under and lift the spinnerbot a couple of times, but Death Metal manages to squirrel away before the hazards come into play. That is, until an errant recoil sends it skittering into one of the spinning arena bumpers, slightly skewing a wheel. From here on out, Klarinette takes the advantage, managing to keep a hold of Death Metal for long enough to press it up against the arena wall. The pair slide along the perimeter, with Death Metal sustaining a couple of meaty hammer blows before being released. It seems the weapon is having trouble powering up now, and Klarinette pounces underneath once again, with a heavier slam into the north flippers separating the pair, but it seems as though Death Metal's weapon is now out of commission. Klarinette chases the spinner down, gets another good lift in, but the buzzer sounds before it can be taken anywhere. Aggression: 9-6 Klarinette Damage: 8-7 Klarinette Strategy: 8-7 Death Metal Klarinette wins a 24-21 Judges' Decision Redemption Denied vs. Magnolia Grande Magnolia spins up and wanders to the center. Redemption Denied looks to find a way to its sides, testing that drivetrain on Magnolia, but always wary of the pretty much instant death awaiting it on the front. More maneuvering, Magnolia is super recalcitrant about making sure it’s a frontal hit first and Redemption Denied absolutely refuses to touch the front no matter what, and it’s true that nothing is ever forcing it to…. since its opponent is practically a dinky little tonka truck with a bucket wheel excavator being dragged around on the front. I need to mention something: this continues forever, as Redemption Denied continues looking for a side pass and Magnolia simply turns and backs up—while it would get flanked if its weapon weren’t so retarded, the arc that it can cover physically compensates for its horrendous drive. Gradually Magnolia is forced into a corner, and Josh is eventually forced to back off, since his creed is to avoid corner stuff. This becomes the most boring stalemate ever as RD continues looking for an option that is just barely fleeting and Magnolia is barely able to keep something with weapon points in view. At the 1:40 point the crowd starts booing. The refs begin urging both teams to do something more aggressive. 2:00 the booing intensifies, tomatoes start to be thrown. 2:10 Redemption Denied finally gets a shot at Magnolia’s hind end and flings it into its weapon. However, the gyroscopic forces on the weapon do weird stuff that I can’t fully figure out and it also ends up taking a big piece out of RD as it flops around like a drunk seal. RD, smoking takes it to the wall to try and calm it down, the weapon smacks Magnolia off the wall and the two reset in the center. A last minute smash before the buzzer rings and the judges begin drinking heavily. Aggression – 8-7 Magnolia Grande Damage – 8-7 Magnolia Grande Strategy – 9-6 Redemption Denied Redemption Denied wins a 23-22 decision, and the crowd isn’t happy from where I’m sitting… I’m off! ---- SUPERHEAVYWEIGHTS CARNAGE CONFERENCE Tax Cutter vs. Death Turret 2000 Death Turret 2000 goes for the old ‘bot rush,’ which honestly isn’t that bad an idea because you do NOT want to let Tax Cutter get up to speed. Tax Cutter tries to back out sideways and hit the side of DT2000’s wedge, but DT2000 rotates its turret to catch it right in the center, giving it the best possible chance of deflecting the blade. Unfortunately, the lifting plate still gets a huge gash torn in it, and both bots are send spinning away. Tax Cutter is up on its back gyrodancing, though. It comes down and starts to move, but it’s too late; Death Turret 2000 slides in under its back and clamps down! …uh, I’m not sure whether Pat forgot that Tax Cutter is upside down, so most of its top surface is covered by the disc, or whether he thought Kody would be putting the brakes on his spinner to get back under control, but either way Tax Cutter is actually at full speed. As a result, when DT2000 lowers its clamp arm right into the disc, it gets ripped almost clean off and is only attached to the bot by one twisted mounting plate! The clamp arm, I mean, not the disc. Anyway, DT2000 also lifts and pushes, causing Tax Cutter’s disc to hit the ground and launch it across the arena into the flippers. TC ends up gyro dancing on its side, and DT2000 charges it again while it’s stuck there. Amazingly it actually catches Tax Cutter with the disc at a near standstill, and is able to lift it up and high-center it, and slowly push it into the bumper. That’s a nasty hit, and there’s a gash in the front of Tax Cutter’s right wheel pod. It would be the left, but it’s been upside-down the entire fight. Anyway, Tax Cutter is knocked free again, and this time manages to get its blade pretty much up to speed, and swivels it into DT2000’s wedge. And that’s when the front falls off. Another hit rips the side of Death Turret 2000 open and sends a wheel and half a sprocket bouncing across the arena. Death Turret 2000 is counted out, then gets towed outside the environment into the void sometimes referred to as the pit area. Your winner, by knockout in 0:46, is Tax Cutter! Ikea's Guard Dog vs. Count Bleck Nyoom, clang. Both bots look like IKEA products now, well, ones fresh out the box. Have fun again, cleaners. Aggression: 15-0 Ikea's Guard Dog Damage: 15-0 Count Bleck Strategy: 8-7 Ikea's Guard Dog Ikea's Guard Dog wins 23-22. Froral Fury vs. Hartmann's Youkai Bot Okay so um... Froral Fury doesn't get an armour bonus so it both dies in five hits, and Hartmann can potentially OHKO it. Tri for some reason decides to try and plow it. Umm... this does not work out well at all and the plow gets trashed, as well as sending both bots away. Froral Fury seems fine... for now. Okay, so now that the plow's mostly gone, HYB decides to just come at Froral Fury with the spinner. This might seem like the best idea, but actually that doesn't go so well for him either because Froral Fury outranges him and the hit tears into HYB's shell causing a gash and a noticeable warp in the shell, while HYB manages to miss Froral Fury entirely with his smaller teeth. The same thing happens the next time they meet, and now HYB can no longer spin up. He tries to use the remains of the plow as fodder, but the last hit is giving him drive problems. Froral Fury isn't the most controlled bot though so Tri just barely manages to get the hit where he wanted it... which tears off the rest of the plow. However, Froral Fury has started to spout smoke... both bots are barely moving. Nonetheless Fury gets back up to speed and the bots collide again... of course. They're both dead. Why am I not surprised. :V Judges? Aggression: 9-6 Hartmann's Youkai Bot Damage: 12-3 Froral Fury Strategy: 8-7 Hartmann's Youkai Bot Froral Fury wins by a 25-20 judges' decision. Needles 2.0 vs. Fenrir Both bots get going quickly, meeting in the middle. Fenrir getting a solid smack on Needles' wedge, throwing it up. Needles fires off a strike just as it's hit, but the blade only clips the top of one of Fenrir's wheels as it gets thrown back. Needles recovers, though that huge gash on the front of the bot makes it all too easy for Fenrir to slip in again and get the kill shot. Fenrir wins by KO in 0:46. Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo vs. Lethal Injection So I’m assuming LI’s jaws move independently due to the images of them closed despite the lack of stats towards them and the fact that you’d really struggle to power that inner jaw the way the bot’s shaped. The whole “front hinged flipper” setup doesn’t work that great for LI in terms of actually flipping his opponent, since he can’t really get far enough underneath his opponent to make good use of them, but he does manage to start shoving around Lifter 2 after a short stint on L2’s wedge at the beginning of the match. Hii can’t really escape, but the hazards are also doing jack because LUL13armor. This works for a while until GF tries his handstand thing and accomplishes nothing other than landing on top of lifter 2 and getting flipped for his troubles. I guess it looked cool, but Hii’s able to turn around and get front facing again, though it is a just thing. Most of the match continues in this way – LI just able to get more done even if things aren’t going quite to the specifications GF wanted. Even when Lifter 2 gets under, LI just drives off, or up and over, or drives inverted. It’s a wily beast. Also the backflip thing does work the third time GF tries it, as Hii isn’t quite able to react in time, and he therefore ends the match pinned up against the wall. Aggression: 8-7 Lethal Injection Damage: 8-7 Lethal Injection Control: 12-3 Lethal Injection Your winner, in a 28-17 decision, is Lethal Injection! Parasoul vs. Danger Noodle I can only look at the RP submitted time from Lian and shake my head in annoyance. Though since I was so backlogged writing stuff this week I guess I can't complain TOO much. Okay anyway, Danger Noodle braces itself sideways for a box rush that never comes. Parasoul is just kinda sitting there. DN approaches cautiously. Is it a trick? Doesn't seem to be. Eventually DN closes in and smacks the wedge of Parasoul. That seems to have woken Lian up, though I'm not sure what he was waiting for. Now caution from DN is more justified, and he keeps Parasoul from totally bullying him around for at least little while. Eventually Parasoul is able to use recoil to bounce DN into the spring which launches the big drum across the arena. Well at least that gave Danger Noodle some separation. It gives him time for another decent shot on Parasoul's wedge which is looking pretty rough now. It's still useful enough for a ramming tool at present to bounce him into a corner. The corner with the spinner in fact. CRUNCH! Spinner meets spinner! Times's winding down fast. Danger Noodle gets one last decent hit in that rips off the wedge of Parasoul completely. Aggression: 10-5 Parasoul Damage: 11-4 Danger Noodle Strategy: 9-6 Danger Noodle Danger Noodle wins 25-20 Cyclone vs. Scrunglebot Pyro is still missing, so we're bringing back one of our resident monkey drivers. Er, trying to, anyway? It seems she's unhappy about how many bananas she's been receiving, and has gone on strike. She and her pit monkey colleagues are marching around the arena carrying signs and making a huge racket. Sorry about this, folks, we're going to have to call the match while we get our negotiators in here. Scrunglebot wins by FF. AFTERMATH CONFERENCE BEEF KING vs. Triple 6 BEEF KING starts off sideways, but it quickly turns to face Triple 6 as the latter comes charging in on the sound of the buzzer. The spinning blade slams into the front plow of Triple 6, but it isn't going fast enough yet to damage the heavy armor and just bounces off. Triple 6 is slowed by the impact, but presses forward into BEEF KING and manages to stop the blade entirely. The flipper fires, sending BEEF KING's front end into the air. It comes back down on top of Triple 6 and begins to spin up again as it tries to escape. Triple 6 is slowly pushing it toward the bumper hazard, and flips again, sending BEEF KING into the air. The gyro forces keep it from flipping over, so its rear end is what gets hit by the bumper's spinning blade. BEEF KING is knocked away and there's now a big gash in its rear panel, but it's finally been able to get itself up to speed in this time and is producing a menacing death hum. It avoids hitting the wall with its spinner and turns to face Triple 6. With its back to the wall, Triple 6 has no chance of flanking it, and so Shaba decides to try to lure it back over to the bumper by backing away to the bumper's other side. BEEF KING follows, and Triple 6 angles around it to line up another shove into that deadly spinning hazard. Triple 6 charges in and takes a huge blow from the spinner, which basically shreds the bottom of its flipping panel. BEEF KING is knocked spinning backwards into the bumper and hits it with its spinner as well before getting flung away once more, this time into the wall. Triple 6 follows up, slams into it from behind, and attempts to flip again. However, with the bottom of its wedge missing, Triple 6 can't get any leverage on BEEF KING and the flip whiffs. Shaba settles for pinning BEEF KING in place as long as she can, but eventually Triple 6 has to let it go and back away. Triple 6 comes back in, but BEEF KING has gotten up to a decent speed and knocks it away. Triple 6 tries flanking, but BEEF KING is able to keep facing it as it comes back up to terrifying full speed. Another hit further shreds the front of Triple 6 and seems to have jammed one of its front wheels. BEEF KING slowly comes in for the kill, and Triple 6 isn't able to evade it forever. The screen fades to black and attackfrog finally stops typing holy shit why did I spend so much time on this match but you're welcome I guess hope somebody reads this giant wall of text besides me Shaba and V900 but anyways... Your winner by KO: BEEF KING! Phantasmic Slammer vs. Panzer Strike Mk. II Panzer needs potentially one good hit. Can he get it? Well it's tricky given that Slammer is doing pretty much everything in his power to avoid Panzer's front, and when you're a 3 speed bot trying to keep facing an 8 speed with similar control, you're gonna have a rough time. It also doesn't help matters that Panzer's body armour is mediocre, and when Slammer eventually gets him to the bumper, it tears a giant chunk out of Panzer's armour and seriously cripples his driving. From there it's pretty obvious where the fight goes. Slammer finishes Panzer under the hammer to close out the match. Phantasmic Slammer wins by a knockout in 1:46. Howler III vs. Speed Bison Howler spins up, but can't really damage Speed Bison, which proceeds to smash it around the arena for a minute or two until it's cornered under the hammer and starts taking damage. Alex throws in the towel and walks away. Speed Bison wins by TKO at 1:37 Ravex vs. Jack Frost So, most of this fight consists of Ravex getting smacked around by Jack Frost while taking a lot of little gouges and big dents. It looks pretty beat up by the end of the fight but just doesn't have the speed to really shut down and smother the big spinner like it wants to. It does manage to get one good lift in, and Jack Frost takes a mean hit from the hammer that leaves a large dent in its topside armour. That's the lone light in the darkness however, and when the buzzer sounds, the judges take out their scorecards. Aggression: 8-7 Ravex Damage: 9-6 Jack Frost Strategy: 10-5 Jack Frost Jack Frost wins a 26-19 judges' decision Xonotic vs. Space Cadet You may have gotten lucky with Kody, or Gabe, but Josh does NOT FORGIVE late RPs! Flip 1 - Heads Flip 2 - Tails Flip 3 - Take that, Luigi! Space Cadet wins by CT Metal Heck vs. Krakatoa Spat’s plan fails on 2 fronts: he can’t drive over the plow super effectively at first because of his blade – first knocking him away, and secondly when he gets stranded on the end of the blade and his wedge. And then when he does start to try to monster truck and angle his blade downwards onto Krakatoa, Laz just flips him with his much faster lifter to avoid such malarkey. It’s still quite a good fight, with Krakatoa’s plow showing the tell-tale large dents inherent in standing up to a spinner for 3 minutes straight, but metal Heck spends a lot of time trying to adjust the blade and in Krakatoa’s control, and is beginning to show some damage from hazards by the time the match ends. Aggression: 9-6 Krakatoa Damage: 9-6 Metal Heck Strategy: 8-7 Krakatoa Your winner, in a 23-22 decision, is Krakatoa! Khnum vs. Chemical Explosion Khnum comes out of the starting square like a rocket but a far slower and controlled one than usual. ChemExp, meanwhile, veers off to one side while spinning up, getting clipped on the back corner by the approaching Khnum...who keeps going for some reason. But wait, he pauses and turns to point in vaguely the direction of where ChemExp is now. In comes Khnum, ChemExp spins to get the bar into play, and manages to catch Khnum on the front corner, but Khnum still manages to scoop its way underneath and WOAH ITS FOUND THE AFTERBURNER KHNUM GOES FULL 11 SPEED INTO THE WALL AND BAM CHEMEXP GETS A PROPER RATTLING THERE. Khnum leaps half a foot into the air from the impact, ChemExp getting thrown a little bit further but comes down still looking in one piece. ChemExp continues chipping away at the rammer while it struggles to line up a charge properly, the damage steadily accumulating and warping the wedge over the match. But when Khnum does get underneath, ChemExp receives a one-way trip to whatever is directly in front of Khnum, usually the wall. A wedge-to-wedge confrontation sees Khnum slip underneath and bulldoze ChemExp bar-first into the spinning bumper, sliding forward and taking a hit itself. ChemExp's weapon appears to be in trouble now, though, smoke is starting to emerge from the tracked machine, but it manages to land another couple of hits, then the buzzer saves it from further Khnumming. Aggression: 9-6 Khnum Damage: 8-7 Khnum Strategy: 10-5 Chemical Explosion Chemical Explosion squeaks a 23-22 Judges' Decision
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Apr 30 2018, 10:29 PM Post #13
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 7 LIGHTWEIGHTS DEFIANCE CONFERENCE The Servant's Assistant 4 vs. La Valette La Valette braces himself, anticipating a box rush I suppose, but it doesn’t really come. Eventually SA makes his way towards LV and let’s see what happens. 8 power over SA’s armor? That’s obviously no damage and La Valette explodes! Don’t worry, just kidding. SA’s plow is almost completely obliterated, and it taking the hit is the only reason SA is still alive. That doesn’t last forever and the next shot is the end of the line for Servant’s Assistant. La Valette wins by KO in 1:09 Nervous Wedge Boy vs. Blitz Mk. III Honestly, I think that if Ava tried, he actually could have taken this, but apparently he decided to give up. I feel no sympathy, no pity. So no, you don't get the meme result you wanted! :V So "Jamie" (looking suspiciously like someone from Washington State... come on, you can tell them from a mile away. Yes, of course you can. I'm not crazy, that's what they want you to think!! 8V) drives out and wedges the hapless Blitz. SMASH. Into the wall. There's a dent in the rear. Blitz wants to attack, but it doesn't seem like its heart is in it. Well of course not, it doesn't HAVE a heart. It's a machine, what did you expect? The Spanish Inquisition? Well NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION... to not show up. And they didn't. Nor did they (who're "they", anyway? :V) expect Blitz to take ramming damage. But he does. More dents in the rear from more rams. Eventually Blitz is conveniently lined up with a hazard to where the suspiciously Washington driver drives him straight towards. Hammer? KER-SPLAT. Blitz crepes. Nervous Wedge Boy wins by a knockout in 1:24. Mushroom Cloud vs. Tidal Wave II Tidal Wave II wastes no time spinning up its drum, and comes out of its starting square whirring menacingly. Mushroom Cloud is undaunted, though, and comes in and tries to get to the side of Tidal Wave. Tidal Wave manages to get facing it though. Its feeder wedge gets underneath Mushroom Cloud, but the drum doesn’t bite in very well, and Mushroom Cloud just gets popped up in the air a little. TW pushes under it and gets a few sparks off its baseplate, but Mushroom Cloud reverses away. Another exchange results in Mushroom Cloud getting under Tidal Wave as it gyrodances a little, and immediately flips! Tidal Wave does a… I think that’s a 540, might have been a 900 though. Either way it ends up inverted. It can gyrodance back upright in theory, but Mushroom Cloud doesn’t seem interested in letting that happen, and charges in. The flipper’s only partly retracted, but Tidal Wave’s drum love-taps it the rest of the way down, producing more sparks. Tidal Wave eventually gets back on its wheels, but not before being pushed against the wall by Mushroom Cloud. Both machines continue driving around, trying to get the upper hand over each other. Tidal Wave gets a couple of good hits, tossing Mushroom Cloud in the air, but they can’t do much damage to the big, floppy flipper plate. Meanwhile, Mushroom Cloud has been getting flips, and while it isn’t doing damage either, it is getting aggression and control points. Unless Mushroom Cloud can get TW into the hazards, it looks like this will go to the judges… or will it? Tidal Wave has stopped! The drum is still spinning, and it looks like the wheels are spinning. It twitches, and then gyros onto its back and is moving freely again! Looks like it had a very close call with a floor seam, but it compensates for the embarrassment by tossing Mushroom Cloud into the lexan! Mushroom Cloud is still moving, though. It gets underneath TW and shoves it onto the killsaws… actually, it shoves both bots onto the killsaws, and both go flying in a shower of sparks and end up inverted. TW self-rights with the flipper, TW… uh oh, there’s a belt lying on the floor. The drum isn’t spinning, and their wedges are useless inverted. Mushroom Cloud is able to have their way with TW for the rest of the fight, and almost strands it on its face against the wall, but doesn’t quite pull it off. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Mushroom Cloud 11, Tidal Wave II 4 Aggression: Mushroom Cloud 9, Tidal Wave II 6 Strategy: Mushroom Cloud 10, Tidal Wave II 5 Your winner, by a 30-15 Judges’ Decision, is Mushroom Cloud! Witness Me! vs. Ayame Okay, so Alex V has 57 different flavours of strategy to get under Witness Me and some good contingency plans. Riley has the better wedge and the better control and his bot can’t be high-centered. But that Alex is a tricky one. He’s aggressive too. He turns at the last second and is able to JUST get under Witness Me’s wedge. The former Monsterworks bot goes onto its back and immediately self rights…onto Ayame’s flipper. Over again, and self-righting again, though it landed at a bit of an angle and is able to escape. Alex V pull something new from his bag of tricks and Ayame goes for a corner but is countered quickly, and this time it’s the Ice Cubed entry that gets flipped. Witness me presses its advantage, chaining a second and third flip as Ayame tries to self-right. It’s better protected but not quite as slippery as its Northwest Sheds opponent. That helps it out when it takes a glancing blow from one of the hammers. Little damage is done and it’s back on its wheels and on the move before long. Alex V tries a feint for one of the corners next. Riley bites. Riley gets partially countered, but his bot is pretty quick too, and the flip doesn’t get enough bite to put Witness Me on its back. The Ice Cubed Robotics bot tries to follow up, but actually oversteers a tiny bit – a rare occurrence. It finds itself on the wrong end of another flip and eats a follow-up too before managing to self-right and use the angle it lands at to gain the advantage and chuck Riley’s bot onto its back. Alex chains a second flip, and a third, right into one of the hammers, which comes down hard on…the only thickly armoured part of Witness Me: its flipper, leaving a dent. The Northwest sheds entry self-rights and jets out of there, despite Alex’s attempts to keep it pinned. There’s a battle for position and Witness Me comes out on top. More flipping happens. A trip to the killsaws happens. The killsaws don’t do much to Ayame. Ayame gets away. Alex pulls out another dirty trick to beat Witness Me’s better wedge and chains a couple more flips, managing to get his opponent into the wall and keep him there for a little bit this time. Altogether, it’s a very even fight, with neither bot really gaining a consistent upper hand. We reach the three minute mark, and the judges has a real task ahead of them. Aggression: 8-7 Witness Me Damage: 8-7 Witness Me Strategy: 10-5 Ayame Ayame wins a 24-21 decision! Eat Me Too vs. Sir Morphsalot EMT spins up quickly, almost hitting maximum velocity as Morphsalot reaches it. CLANG! Both are thrown across the arena in opposite directions, Morphsalot's right eye pretty much entirely demolished. It's barely mobile, and the spinner's busted, but it's not immobilised, at least. It moves up a bit, then comes to a stop. The stalemate goes on for a little bit, before EMT begins to slow to readjust. Morphsalot closes in to try to capitalise, but takes enough of a hit on their existing gash to pop something inside. Looks like a Lipo got smacked, not fun at all. Morphsalot drives about for a bit before conking out, spitting clouds like it's the National Vaping Championships, which is coincidentally going on next door. Eat Me Too wins by KO on 1:49. GREEN BRICK vs Bluebot Bluebot spins up and smacks GREEN BRICK so hard that it knocks the yellow out of it. There are now two Bluebots in the arena. Fun. Bluebot wins by mitosis in 0:15. Flash Flood vs. Hoarfrost This is just one of those matches man. There’s a lot of getting under, a lot of going over each other, a lot of close pass-byes, one or two good slams by Hoarfrost, and a flip by FF around the 1:30 mark that leaves Hoarfrost upside-down for the rest of the match. However, overall Hoarfrost just has the wedge advantage, which means that he definitely has the slight edge throughout the match, as Dylan only gets things started when he gets a lucky angle on Hoarfrost. Aggression: 8-7 Hoarfrost Damage: 8-7 Flash Flood ~~Control (Kody was here)~~ Strategy :V : 8-7 Hoarfrost Your winner, in a 23-22 split decision, is Hoarfrost! VENGEANCE CONFERENCE Ramshock vs. Nick's Fuzzy Rules There isn't really anything Ramshock can do in this fight. The two meet head-to-head several times, and each time NFR is able to get under and do what it wants to Ramshock. Pat tries to reverse away from these approaches, but the equal speed makes it hard to get away and the POLISHING WHEEL OF DOOM is able to do some polishing. Ramshock does finally get something late in the match but it doesn't amount to anything as NFR is still able to push back and slowly push Ramshock into the wall, where the buzzer sounds. Aggression: Nick's Fuzzy Rules 9-6 Damage: Nick's Fuzzy Rules 15-0 Strategy: Nick's Fuzzy Rules 11-4 Nick's Fuzzy Rules wins 35-10 Exotherm vs. HIRricaine Exotherm wins by FF White Lightning vs. Anti-Virus First off, Wolf, please tell me what attachments you're using in your RP. I gather from Kody's that you're not using any attachment, and as that is all I have to go on I'm going with that assumption. Now, the fight: Both drivers seem to expect the other to angle in on them, even as they drive straight at the front of the other. They're both so concentrated on this that they hit perfectly head on and the forks of Anti-Virus slide right between White Lightning's forks and wedge there. AV begins to push WL towards the corner. WL, finding itself in a tight spot, tries to reverse off but finds the two are stuck together. Its attempt just makes it easier for AV to get it over to the corner and under the hammer, where WL takes a few hits. The monkey referee eventually stops the match for an unstick, but White Lightning is now severely dented on top and smoking slightly. The match resumes and both robots get back to trying to wedge the other, but White Lightning seems to be limping a bit, letting Anti-Virus get under it from the side and shove it under the hammer again. White Lightning takes a couple more hits, and when Anti-Virus releases it, is unable to move and gets counted out. Anti-Virus wins by K.O. Electric Agression vs. Experiment 626 Ok so as far as I can tell from the approximate English of TBR’s RP, he’s going for the sides of a robot faster than his. So yeah I’ll give HFL a free wedging of EA for that :V . EA’s rear wedge prevents it from escaping easily when wedged, but eventually is released from the pin. The two face off again and end up locked in a bit of a locked wedge dance, EA trying to angle in, 626 trying to press and get under. This favors the robot with a better drivetrain, but really neither is getting much of anywhere. Eventually EA actually starts to get under, and E626 slips away before the jaws close. A lot of nothing happens for a bit before HFL’s able to get under his opponent again, and gives him a good slam into the wall, followed up with another! TBR’s able to regain some control though, and gets underneath from the side of 626, clamping down on a wheel before its spinner hits 626 and frees the alien-themed bot from its grasp. There’s some more inconclusive back and forth before before 626 gets under EA as TBR tries to angle in again, shoving him under a hammer for a bit before the impact lets TBR escape. More inconclusive wedge back and forth ends the fight. Aggression: 8-7 Experiment 626 Damage: 8-7 Experiment 626 Control: 8-7 Experiment 626 Your winner, in a 24-21 decision, is Experiment 626! The Most Despicable and Disastrous Twins vs. Dr. Robotnik The twins send out the wedge portion first and try to eat a few hits from Robotnik's rapidly accelerating blade. This... fails spectacularly. The wedge is sent flying across the arena on the first hit, with little damage but with its pride wounded immensely. Before it can recover fully, Robotnik has met the melty-brain head on. The flails do leave some scars on the front of Robotnik but they do nothing to stop the spinner, which delivers a brutal hit to the side of the meltybrain. It's dead, Jim. The wedge valiantly tries to battle on but with more than half of its mass gone the pair quickly gets counted out. Dr. Robotnik wins by KO at 1:24 Yellow Buzzard vs. Cream Yellow Buzzard darts across the arena while Cream… apparently has decided to sidestep and slam itself into a wall. While it begins spinning shortly after this, it does little to stop the yellow doorstop from lining up a slam and smashing it into the wall once again. The flails fly over the wedge but leave marks on the fin on top. Another slam and Cream finds itself boxed in near a corner. Wiggling loose it takes a Pulverizer hit as it arcs around attempting to get out, only to drive on the encroaching wedge of YB once more. It gets held under the hammer for a while and then the match resets with Cream flinging itself out to the center and re-spinning. Now with a full speed spin going YB takes a big shot to the face as it rams in, but it keeps moving. Cream is flung a ways but continues spinning. Another big collision and sparks fly off YB’s plow which takes a fist-size hole to the side, but Cream is temporarily stopped again and pushed once more to the wall. A big hold here, YB lets go and chases Cream as it tries to use its linear speed to dart off to spin up once more. YB gets in in time for another slam to the wall, but this ejects Cream far enough to give it a good spin time. One more collision and big damage to YB’s front corner from this ensues as the buzzer sounds. Aggression – 10-5 Yellow Buzzard Damage – 10-5 Cream Strategy – 14-1 Yellow Buzzard Yellow Buzzard wins a 29-16 decision The Thieving Magpie vs. Pinstripe I really don't know if Jack is really being honest about two mecanum wheels working that way, or if he's making a masterpiece of BSery. :V Since I don't really have a reason to mistrust him, however, I'll be nice and listen to him, since after a few attempts, Thieving Magpie does get underneath Pinstripe and flip him. :V It really doesn't make much of a difference however because Danielle keeps up with Magpie (the Thieving kind) flipping Pinstripe until Pinstripe actually manages to get in a decent hit. Now it's Pinstripe who begins chaining hits, although his chain is less lengthy as Magpie manages to get knocked right side up again and scoot away. From there Pinstripe has the same problems his did at the beginning, with him struggling to get the wedge underneath his opponent as Magpie flips him places, although the match ends with a few more hits from Pinstripe that send Magpie over the killsaws. Decent effort from both parties, but whose effort bore more fruit? Aggression: 10-5 The Thieving Magpie Damage: 11-4 Pinstripe Strategy: 9-6 The Thieving Magpie The Thieving Magpie wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. ---- MIDDLEWEIGHTS ANNIHILATION CONFERENCE Lulver vs. Stingray It's a DPS race folks. Who can spin the hardest?! Lulver has some trouble approaching Stingray because of the spinner's gyro effects, but not like Stingray's gonna chase it down to begin with. They both finally make contact, aaand this is looking pretty bad for Stingray already. I guess someone forgot about weapon armor bonus. At least Lulver gets popped up into the air a little, even if it's at the cost of Stingray's bar getting sheared to the side significantly. Lulver hits it baby one more time to the result of Stingray's entire thwack tail coming off. BEES tries to push the bar forward to keep thwacking with the front part of the bar, but that bent-up thing isn't gonna fit through the slot. The Stingmobile lost a wheel and Lulver got away. Lulver wins by KO in 0:56. G.B.J. vs. Sundancer Sundancer leads the tango for most of this fight, its mecanum drivetrain allowing it to glide gracefully out of the target range of its opponents dustpan, while the hammer - despite not being able to get to the vitals of its opponent - still comes down with some force on the dustpan itself. A fortunate coming together sees G.B.J. scoop Sundancer straight up, but as the saw arm is raised overhead, Sundancer begins flailing away like a challenged South Carolina gun enthusiast. All that jostling sees a wheel leap over the dustpan wall, and with its decent ground clearance, Sundancer manages to back itself out enough to escape from its foe with a fairly noticeable slice in the chassis topside. G.B.J. attempts to line up another attack, but the twitchy controls are making it tricky for him, while Sundancer comes back in and swoops straight underneath the dustpan! All that pounding must have warped it enough that G.B.J. now has very few cards in its hand for the match, as Sundancer continues to get underneath and hammer away, although can't string too many together before G.B.J. manages to zip away each time. The sawbot, however, can't seem to get anything going with its warped wedge, and Sundancer resumes the lead role for the remainder of the fight. Aggression: 9-6 Sundancer Damage: 11-4 Sundancer Strategy: 11-4 Sundancer Sundancer wins a 31-14 Judges' Decision Magnolia Pico vs. Kid A Dear god you know I make a lot of multi-config bots but this is just ridiculous. The fundamental issue of this fight for Alex is that yes, you can press. But you also lift your body when you walk, and it’s a lot harder for you to effectively press when he’s at your side. This lets mole often get under and around Magnolia’s clamp, though he doesn’t really get to slam the walker much of anywhere with 2 torque against a walker. Magnolia does get under twice, and when it does it’s incredibly effective, and Kid A has some dented armor from hammer strikes. Most of the fight though is Kid A ineffectively trying to boss MP around. Aggression: 9-6 Kid A Damage: 9-6 Magnolia Pico Control: 8-7 Kid A Your winner, in a 23-22 decision, is Kid A! Magica vs. Biological Warfare You know the drill. Magica - heads Biological Warfare - tails Tails! Tails! Heads, but it doesn't matter. None of that matters anymore. BANG Biological Warfare wins by a coin toss. Harbinger vs. Instigator Wedge Fight? Wedge Fight. But this is actually looking interesting so far, as both bots are just FLYING across the arena. Both can go well over 20 miles an hour I think. Instigator actually gets the upper hand in the war of wedges, and slams Harbinger into the wall. Harbinger bounces right off and goes on the attack though, managing to get underneath the corner of Instigator and pushing it into the pulverizer. It’s the blunt one though, so nothing happens. The two exchange a few more blows. Harbinger gets pinned and carefully overturned by Instigator’s lifter at one point, but eventually self-rights by ramp-jumping off of Instigator’s wedge. Eventually, though, Harbinger slams Instigator into the wall so hard that Instigator bounces off and skids onto its back. Now, according to its builder, Instigator can self-right, but we’ve never seen this in action. And… Nothing. Instigator’s lifter raises, but it’s nowhere near enough to actually tip the bot over. It retracts, lowering it back to the floor. Its wheels spin helplessly in the air, and it repeatedly moves the lifter up and down, trying to kick itself back onto its wheels, but the lifter just doesn’t move fast enough. It is sort of inching backwards across the arena, but while that may be translation it can’t be called controlled. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Your winner, by knockout in 1:35, is Harbinger! Eye of n00t vs. The Maw Eye of N00t starts spinning... and spinning... faster and faster, the entire robot is a blur now... and...! It's disappeared. What? Huh. Guess that's what happens when you shift into Maximum Overspin. Where it is now is probably out of the arena, so it's a KO. The Maw wins by TKO in 0:14. Harpy vs. Diablo Genesis Oh hey, you have your config in this one Wolf, thanks. Diablo Genesis comes right at Harpy, opening its lifter to chomp down on its opponent. Harpy charges in as well, but notices this in time to angle to the side before the two collide. Diablo G clamps down, but only gets the front left wheel of Harpy in its grasp. It tries to push Harpy over toward the saws, but Harpy still has two wheels on the ground and a powerful drivetrain, so the two drive around in a big circle instead. Harpy eventually escapes, and the two begin the wedge dance, each trying to get under the other. Harpy's faster, but it's avoiding a head-on collision while Diablo G is being more direct. This results in several more interactions like the previous one, a lucky out-wedging by Harpy which gets one of Diablo G's wheels off the ground and lets Harpy shove it almost under a hammer, and a couple cases where Diablo G manages to drag Harpy over the killsaws, which scrape the bottom of its chassis a bit and take a small chunk out of one of its wheels. The fight ends without a satisfying conclusion for either party, so we go to the judges. Damage: 10-5 Diablo Genesis Strategy: 9-6 Diablo Genesis Aggression: 8-7 Diablo Genesis Diablo Genesis wins 27-18. REVOLUTION CONFERENCE Heaven Jaws 3 vs. The Magpie Effect The Magpie Effect wins by FF… I think… why is Gabe RPing for it? I missed that memo but whatever. (Kody's note: Jamie was busy iirc) Marauder vs. Plata O Plomo Before the fight begins, Alex is taken aside and beaten by hired goons for not being reasonable in disclosing configurations to his opponents. His arms still work okay so he’s good to drive. On to the fight… Kody comes out and waits to see if he can get in aggressively before Marauder can press the lefter down. Hmm, well I do declare! Either Alex is the master of practicing obfuscating stupidity until just the perfect moment, or there’s something REALLY fishy going on here... well whatever. Marauder comes out pressing and basically begins controlling the fight. He gets PoP into the hazards a few times with a good trip to one of the hammers. In the middle of the fight, PoP fights back getting in some good flips, but only gets Marauder flipped onto the saws before losing control of the situation. Marauder goes back to being the aggressor, but at you can say that PoP keeps trying his best all the way to the end buzzer. Aggression: 8-7 Marauder Damage: 10-5 Marauder Strategy: 8-7 Plata o Plomo Marauder wins 25-20, but he still smells like fish. Glitch vs. Metal 2 Both bots get spinning, Metal just about dodging Glitch's rush. Metal attempts to capitalise on this, but Glitch is able to spin enough to cause both to hit on the other's weapon. Both bots are launched across the arena, hitting the far walls. Glitch's arm manages to tip it back upright, but unfortunately Metal doesn't have the premium of a srimech. It wobbles around in circles on its side until it eventually gets counted out. Glitch wins by KO in 0:19. Raus Mk. IV vs. Patchouli Both teams are trying something unconventional for this one. Noah starting sideways, while Avalanche doesn't seem to be spinning the weapon at all. Avalanche is able to succeed in flanking the uncontrollable spinner bot, ducking the blade. Ava turns on the spinner here and succeeds in landing a low-power hit that throws Patchouli up and over and leaving a big scar on its side. However Patchy is fully mobile still so Raus backs away and goes for another flank. This time it isn't so lucky and Patchouli is able to rotate in for a nasty blow right as Raus begins to spin the drum. Raus is opened like a tuna can, with armor and electronics flying everywhere. That's all she wrote. Patchouli wins by KO at 1:16 Killing Intent vs. WhipCoil Two aggressive wedgy bricks going aggressive-wedgy-brick-y on each other gives us plenty of fast-paced action for this one. KI manages to slip underneath the Ignition machine a few times and tap away with its weapon stick, but WC's clearance allows it to scoot away before any proper hazard action can happen. On the other hand, WC's jaws give it a good hold of its opponent when it wins the wedge war, allowing its slightly better drivetrain to show. KI gets a dose of hazardization for its troubles, although with that level of Armour, nothing appears to be happening to it aside from paint being scratched off. At least the audience get to see both bots going full beans for the whole three minutes. Aggression: 8-7 Killing Intent Damage: 8-7 WhipCoil Strategy: 10-5 WhipCoil WhipCoil takes a 25-20 decision Clown Recluse vs. Lupi Both bots spin up and hit each other a lot, but one seems to be putting a much more whole-hearted effort into the deal and it shows. Lupi gets chunks torn out of it by Clown Recluse and eventually the ring stops spinning. Smelling blood, HFL rotates the blade into the vertical spinner position and pops the poor hockey-puck around the arena until something vital breaks and it dies in the middle of the arena. Clown Recluse wins by KO at 1:53 Remi IV vs. Mole Butcher Actually Zach, Mole Butcher technically has three weapons (two separate clamps and the flamethrower) so his weapon stat gets split three ways. However you slice it, the clamp parts are below 4 weapon power so he doesn't get the bonus. No 11 weapon armour here. What does this mean? It means the first hit from Remi pretty much destroys one of the forks on Mole Butcher's clamp, warping it in a way where there's no chance in hell Remi is gonna fit in there at all. It also flips Mole Butcher, so by the time he's done self-righting, Remi is back in his face. SMASH. There goes the other fork. Then the rest of the lower mechanism. Then the front of the body... ah hell you get the point. Remi IV wins by a knockout in 1:33.
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Apr 30 2018, 10:30 PM Post #14
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	WEEK 7 (continued) HEAVYWEIGHTS REDEMPTION CONFERENCE Cutthroat vs. Neglected Waterbug Cutthroat tries to outflank first while Waterbug just goes straight forward. Waterbug gets under and gives a fling. Cutthroat takes only a small fling though—the drum on Waterbug isn’t really a power hitter after all. As a result it’s in good position to get under itself after some maneuvering and it pushes Waterbug into a killsaw pit. Some more positioning, Waterbug once again getting under with a slight toss, and Cutthroat is flipped over. We get to see how the self-righting works for this. Ah shit… I guess I have to figure out how that works and right it. Well, it slowly begins to and Waterbug knocks it the rest of the way over. There’s some more positioning (thrills and spills), and Cutthroat now gets under Waterbug and rams it into a Pulverizer corner. Waterbug takes hits until the match ends. Aggression – 9-6 Cutthroat Damage – 9-6 Neglected Waterbug Strategy – 9-6 Neglected Waterbug Neglected Waterbug takes a 24-21 decision Flandre Scarlet vs. Dysprosinator Non-invertible power spinner meets heavily armoured lifting wedge. Non-invertible power spinner is inverted by heavily armoured lifting wedge. wait a second this is exactly the same film :v Dysprosinator wins by KO in 0:51 Duck King vs. Hazardous Waste Removal Both bots approach each other, with Duck King eventually losing traction on one side and skidding in a wholly different direction. HWR patiently gets its disc up to speed and moves over to Duck King, who is trying to position itself wedge-first. Miraculously, it does manage this and HWR is deflected upwards as it moves in for a hit. There's a large gash on the corner of Duck King's wedge where it hit, but otherwise it seems unfazed. HWR comes in for another hit, and this time Duck King isn't able to position properly. HWR gets a nice clean hit on the side, shearing wheels off and throwing Duck King into the wall. Now with even more traction issues, Duck King continues bravely onwards, but HWR isn't done, landing a solid corner hit that rips the wedge off its mounting on one side. A second follow-up tears chunks out of the chassis, killing the poor duck entirely. Hazardous Waste Removal wins by KO at 1:46 Narsiccistic Hot-Shot vs. Flashback Flashback wins by FF. America Offline vs. Lunatic Udonge The inherent problem for syl here is that their plan for flanking involves a speed advantage they don’t really have – sure it AO gets to the side like, once, but for the most part Tri’s able to get LU facing wherever he wants thanks to the mecanum advantage, and he often gets under. Can’t really do much most of the time since Syl’s able to quickly back off and lul pushing with 1 torque and mecanum, but he gets in enough flips to definitely be on the advantage going into the JD Aggression: 8-7 America Offline Damage: 8-7 Lunatic Udong Control: 8-7 Lunatic Udong [placeholder for some Udong thing winning a 23-22 split judges' decision since I didn't get a message from Gabe saying so, yes I am that pedantic :V] Chad the Inhaler vs. Wedgelord Chad box rushes Wedgelord, ramping up it, going flying into the air. Clean through the Battlebox, it just keeps going, onwards and upwards... Where's it going? Who knows. Probably wherever Eye of N00t is. Wedgelord wins by KO in 0:03. Sinmill vs. Devil's Verdict Sinmill spins up whilst DV rushes them down. One rather nasty sounding impact later, DV has more or less had its entire side torn off, whilst Sinmill wobbles about inverted. Kode tries another rush, ending in Sinmill striking it once again in almost the same spot, leaving DV's electronics exposed and one of its grippers having limp and flaccid. Sinmill wins by KO in 0:42. RECKONING CONFERENCE Death Metal vs. Nyam Nyam Nya Death Metal spins up quickly, and moves to near the centre of the arena. NNN rushes to nab the back, but Death Metal spins enough to tear off the rear corner of the machine. NNN's spinning on the spot, but isn't doing enough to count as full mobility. In an act of good taste, Shaba just spins down and lets the countdown take the victory. Death Metal wins by KO in 0:26. Infrared vs. Redemption Denied Wait, I have to decide this? THERE'S NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD. And Alex is probably going to be salty and judge me depending on how RD does. Not that I didn't think Magnolia Grande somehow losing was hilarious in a way, but it was honestly pretty damn weird losing to RD in particular. Oh shit. Now both Josh and Nick are going to be judging me based on that. I CAN'T WIN. :V Therefore, since I can't win, neither of you idiots should win either. Mwahahahaha! Anyway, now that you have written my bots getting thoroughly thrashed, let's cut the crap and get this over with. :V [/salt] Nick seems to think corner damage actually matters in this fight. Well it does, but not here. RD can't really out flank him, but nor is Infrared able to really catch RD and fling him due to the shallow angle of the wedge. He plants the beginnings of it at first, with a small tear that bends some metal up, but that allows RD to move in and... oh, right. The drum bit is hinged. Infrared almost goes over but not quite. This allows RD to move further in though and uhh... yeah. Flip. Now Infrared is flipped. Oh wait, the drum can spin both ways. Of course, this inhibits Infrared's wedging ability so no mixing it up for you! Oh wait. More flips. Cool. Infrared can't seem to shake RD away until a particularly nasty flip sends Infrared over the saws, which separate the bots. Infrared is still inverted, so he still can't mix it up, but instead brings the drum back around. Remember how I said Nick planted the beginnings of corner damage mattering? Well he catches the previous part of RD's flipper that get torn, and this time tears quite a bit of metal up, which makes it harder for RD to wedge and flip him successfully now. Not that Josh wants to flip him while he's inverted... but Nick can still hit him like that. So uh... whatever. Josh keeps flipping, or tries to. Infrared gets another hit which now tears that bit of metal off, but makes it easier again for RD to wedge him. Flip! Flip! WIN! Not really. Infrared gets away. Now we get a real big hit that sends RD away and... oh boy. Part of the other side of RD's flipper (the underside) got bent up. This is monstrously not good. Nonetheless, RD is able to push against the drum and stop it. Infrared can't shake him and is thrown over the saws again. There's some rubber from Infrared's wheels on the floor, but it doesn't seem to make his drive any worse. Infrared gets another hit in the dying seconds that bends a large portion of RD's flipper up. Aggression: 10-5 Redemption Denied Damage: 13-2 Infrared Strategy: 9-6 Infrared Infrared wins by a salty 27-18 judges' decision and fuck you I won't do what you tell me. :V Charybdis vs. Malacoda The crocs are locked the blights are on it's crackpot fighting time. Malacoda does the typical "vrrrrrrrrrr"ing of the disc that's gotten it this far, while Charybdis is doing some spinning of it's own, while moving out of the square. Slowly. Meanwhile Badnik's bot is flooring it as best it can, but 5 speed isn't quite enough to zerg rush CBD before it's able to get up to speed. The first hit just kinda boinks Char up into the air, and it lands back on it's wheels. Still spinning in place, it scores another hit against the mindlessly-charing MC and pretty much blows the wedge off. I'm talking upward of 25% of the total bot gone in an instant. With half it's front gone, Malacoda's now having some real trouble driving forward. Needless to say, another smack leaves the vertical spinner incapacitated. Charybdis wins by KO in 0:36. Coup de Grâce vs. Dreadnought Mk 3 Both bots come out of their starting squares and face off. Dreadnought is wary of Coup de Grace’s hammer, and keeps trying to dodge around Coup’s side, but Coup’s legged drivetrain is very agile. Fortunately Coup De Grace decides to fire the hammer when Dreadnought is nowhere near it, and Dreadnought slips underneath it as it retracts, then overturns it with the flipper. Coup De Grace self-rights, and… that’s another missed hammer blow, and another flip from Dreadnought! Let’s count how many times Coup De Grace misses with its hammer. 3… 4… 5… And time eventually runs out, with fourteen missed hammer blows from Coup De Grace, and one glancing blow. Meanwhile, Dreadnought has flipped it all over the arena. Judges’ Decision: Damage: No. Aggression: Dreadnought 15, Coup De Grace also 15 for effort. Strattegy: Dreadnought 15, Coup De Grace 0 Your winner, by a 30-15 Judges’ Decision, is Dreadnought MK3! Golden Blaze vs. Mr. Bight Sky Golden Blaze manages to score some decent hits on the front of Mr. Bight Sky throughout the fight, or on the side or the corner or something, I honestly have no idea. The flipperbot is nothing if not resilient, though, and keeps on coming, but the steeply angled front means it has trouble getting underneath its opponent effectively. Sparse hazards give the Bight bot little to aim its opponent towards, but GB does ricochet off the wall a couple of times. While it does start lacking oomph towards the end, GB deals out plenty of hits over the match, but can't finish off its opponent before the buzzer. Aggression: 10-5 Mr. Bight Sky Damage: 13-2 Golden Blaze Strategy: 10-5 Golden Blaze A 28-17 Judge's Decision, in favour of Golden Blaze Meanstreak vs. Micro Cuts Please tell me what config you're using, Mole. It makes a difference in this match, and as you never apparently declared it anywhere I'm literally flipping a coin. It was tails, so you're using the plow. Hope that's what you wanted. And now, the fight: Mole scans the arena for a hazard-free corner, but they've all got hammers in them. The starting square seems like the next best option, so Micro Cuts just stays there and waits for Meanstreak to come to it, which it does with gusto. Its spikes get under the front of Micro Cuts, which gets hit by the drum and knocked back into the wall. Micro Cuts's saw bangs into the wall, but it then brings it down onto Meanstreak's drum. There's a whole lot of sparks, and the drum comes out looking a little the worse for wear but still perfectly functional. Meanstreak backs off and comes at Micro Cuts from the side, hoping to push it under one of the hammers. Micro Cuts turns to face it with its saw ready, and reverses at the last second to put some extra weight on its wedge. It's not enough, however, as Meanstreak gets under again and hits Micro Cuts once, twice with that leisurely drum. Micro Cuts is knocked backwards onto its saw and ends up under the hammer, taking a couple hits before it's able to escape. It returns to wait at a nearby wall, but this happens a couple times more without Micro Cuts being able to get any real contact on Meanstreak's body with its saw. By the end of the match, Micro Cuts's left wheel is wobbling and its top is severely dented and punctured in one place, but it's still driving. It goes to the judges. Damage: 11-4 Meanstreak Aggression: 12-3 Meanstreak Strategy: 12-3 Meanstreak Meanstreak wins 35-10. Klarinette vs. Magnolia Grande Well this is kind of a sticky situation, Klarinette has the same speed as RD and is going with a fairly similar plan. However that fight was controversial at best, and possibly insane delusion of some sorry fool from North Carolina. What do? Well I guess I’ll meet SOMEWHERE in the middle and say that Klarinette does manage a fair job of avoiding going head on into the meat grinder. However, I do think that Alex is wise to go overcutter since Kalrinette wedging him doesn’t end up being as disastrous as when he got flipped. Magnolia gets in that shot eventually and pretty well demolishes the lifter. After that Klarinette doubles down on the caution and literally nothing else of excitement ends up happening. Aggression: 8-7 Klarinette Damage: 14-1 Magnolia Grande Strategy: 9-6 Magnolia Grande Magnolia Grande wins 30-15 ---- SUPERHEAVYWEIGHTS CARNAGE CONFERENCE Parasoul vs. Ikea's Guard Dog Two generic bricks with equal drive stats and the laziest RPs possible! Joy! Let's have some fun with this one, since neither of the drivers want to. I'm using the powers of "suspension of disbelief" to transform these bots into Square Wave and Eurypterus, that way no matter who wins, Siphai loses. That dude needs to be taken down a peg anyway. So basically Square Wave tries to press and get under but forgets that this hampers his driving, which lets Eurypterus angle in, get under and shove him around a lot. Square Wave also gets some good slams on Eurypterus, but not as many, so it loses. But since this was a wedge vs wedge fight, no one really wins, do they? Aggression: Parasoul 8-7 Damage: Parasoul 8-7 Strategy: Parasoul 8-7 Parasoul wins 24-21. Death Turret 2000 vs. Cyclone Cyclone falls over as it spins up and turns at the same time, throwing itself into the far wall before DT2K even gets close. Oof. Death Turret 2000 wins by KO in 0:04. Lethal Injection vs. Tax Cutter The next chapter in the saga of Spinner vs. Brick is upon us like yet another superhero movie, and LI seems eager to get prevent TC's terrifying tribar from getting up to speed. TC, though, seems just as eager to get toward its foe, and rams the blade straight into its face...pow! Even though it hadn't gotten its weapon up to full speed, TC still caught the inner edge of LI's front shielding, sending both machines skittering apart. LI quickly spins back toward the Covenant machine, which again swings the bar around at the onrushing clamp. LI skews its approach angle slightly, and TC moves in itself-POW! Having gotten the tribar up to full speed, a second shot to that inner edge tears one of the shields clean off, leaving a significant gash in the other as LI soars through the air, coming down right-side up, but significant worse for wear. TC finds itself by the edge of the arena, but LI appears to be veering to one side slightly rather than driving straight. A third charge by both machines sees the tribar ripping the second shield from its mountings and the side armour from the chassis, leaving the clamp's gruesome demise almost inevitable. Tax Cutter wins by KO in 1:16 Fenrir vs. Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo I always questioned how Touro or any of its derivates never wheelied, since its wheels are in the middle. Then I quickly remembered it has a great fecking drum on the front that serves a lot of the weight of the robot. :V I suspect the same is true of Fenrir, and it quickly gains the advantage when it actually gets underneath Lifter 2 and smacks it so hard the entire bot ends up inverted. But wait! Lifter 2 has the back-up rear wedge, so is the joke on Fenrir? Nope. Fenrir gets under that too. SMACK. Oh, he knocked Lifter back over. He gets under yet again, but the drum is now slow enough to where the next hit doesn't do much. Lifter plows into him, and stuffs him into the wall. Okay, box rush plan of Zach's RP has been followed. Now he tries to get to Fenrir's sides. He actually has a far greater issue with this than he thought, since Fenrir is actually only one point slower than him. Nonetheless, Lifter takes advantage of his greater control and his plan actually succeeds... for a moment, until Fenrir actually pulls away. Lifter gives chase, but in doing so plays right into the wolf's hands and we get another big hit that inverts Lifter, forcing him to use the rear (now front) wedge again. From here we get a lot of hits on Lifter, as Fenrir consistently gets under more and more due to Lifter's wedges being compromised just enough, but Fenrir does slip up a fair amount due to control issues and Lifter manages to stuff him into hazards sometimes. That is pretty much how she goes, lads. Aggression: 9-6 Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo Damage: 8-7 Lifter 2: Electric Boogaloo Strategy: 11-4 Fenrir Fenrir wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. Hartmann's Youkai Bot vs. Needles 2.0 Okay, apparently doing results right before bed is a bad idea because I didn't really notice that the link was to an RP posted earlier. Anyway, exactly why Hartmann is "twisted to the side" is anyone's guess. It makes Needles job of avoiding the spinner easier. That said, it still takes a little while before Needles finds a safe enough opening to where he's confident enough to move in. Hartmann gets slammed with a big CRASH. The whole approach of Hartmann keeps gimping their offensive chances, but near the end of the fight a big hit that pretty much knocks off a big chunk of Needles. Needles still manages to limp along just well enough to avoid getting counted out (and avoid a final killing blow). Aggression: 13-2 Needles Damage: 12-3 Hartmann's Youkai Bot Strategy: 10-5 Needles Needles wins 26-19 Count Bleck vs Froral Fury Another Count Bleck fight, another explosion gif analogy. Enjoy. Aggression: 15-0 Froral Fury Damage: 15-0 Count Bleck Strategy: 8-7 Froral Fury Froral Fury wins 23-22. Danger Noodle vs. Scrunglebot Yeah no you don’t get to saw his wheels :V Danger Noodle wins by KO in 0:39 AFTERMATH CONFERENCE Metal Heck vs. Phantasmic Slammer Metal Heck goes in wedge first, and Phantasmic Slammer responds by angling around to get at MH's side. It manages to get under MH's corner and fires its launcher, sending MH flying sideways. The gyro effect keeps MH upright and it lands on its wheels. They go wedge to wedge again with the same results, but on the third time MH gets under PS. PS j-hooks off as Metal Heck spins around, bringing its weapon into the side of Phantasmic Slammer. PS takes a huge hit and is now sporting a long gash. Its right front wheel also seems to have been jammed up against the mangled side panel and can no longer spin. PS is still mobile, but it's got some difficulty driving now. It's able to get in a couple more flips, but although MH's spinner slams into the floor after one of them, MH still seems mostly unfazed. Metal Heck is finally able to get another hit on Phantasmic Slammer thanks to the latter's hampered movement, taking out the rear right wheel this time. Phantasmic Slammer is reduced to driving around in circles, and is counted out. Metal Heck wins by K.O. Triple 6 vs. Khnum Triple 6 wanders out, waiting to see what Khnum does. Khnum bolts out of its square like lightning and flings itself across the arena straight at Triple 6, but ends up slamming very hard into the wall right next to it, and immediately takes a flip. Another flip ensues, but Khnum gets away fast with that speed right after. The two bots eye each other up. Khnum starts edging in more slowly this time, and Triple 6 now springs to action, driving off to the side and repositioning. Khnum turns and drives forward, but Triple 6 dodges before blows come to pass. Some more posturing but Khnum lines up another slam and goes for it, Triple 6 tries to evade bit gets caught this time, getting bowled over swiftly and smashed into the wall. A push over the killsaws ensues before it rights itself, and the match continues. Khnum backs into the righted Triple 6 who slides off, turns round, and Triple 6 catches the corner of Khnum as it tries to turn and overcompensates, revealing merely its opposite corner to the hungry flipper, who lays in another flip. Khnum drives off to right itself, Triple 6 follows quickly, Khnum gets itself over and goes back into the action, Triple 6 tries to sidestep once more, getting caught on the skirts briefly, but getting off. Khnum overcooks yet another turn and Triple 6 gets a final flip to close out the fight. Aggression – 9-6 Triple 6 Damage – 9-6 Triple 6 Strategy – 9-6 Triple 6 (heh) Triple 6 wins by a 27-18 decision Space Cadet vs. BEEF KING From the moment that this match starts, it becomes apparent that the two drivers’ strategies are two ships passing in the night. Beef King wants to aggressively go for a head-to-head, trying to warp its opponent’s wedge and destroy its flipper. Space Cadet wants none of that shit, and tries to flank. Syl finds out that it’s more difficult than they anticipated, especially with Beef King’s optimized wheel angle and placement, and the spinner wards off flanking maneuvers effectively for a while by turning on the spot. Eventually, however, after about forty seconds of cat and mouse that sees Beef King try to charge in a few times and the audience grow restless, poor control and a genuinely miserable drivetrain rears its head, and Space Cadet is able to slip behind the range of its opponent’s weapon. It starts to shove its opponent, going for a big slam, but the End of the Line LLC entry is already turning to deliver a hit, so Syl “hot potatoes” its ass outta there by flipping it. Thanks to gyroscopic stability, Beef King actually doesn’t go over, but it gyrodances a little bit and goes skidding away, allowing Syl to reposition and get under the spinner’s rear. This time, the weapon goes into the floor and Beef King goes crazy.(edited) What follows is roughly a minute and a half of typical brick vs spinner action until Space Cadet pins Beef King in a corner for a bit too long. It takes some nasty hits from the pulverizer and seems a bit worse for wear, but it comes out spinning when the referees order Syl to release it and back off, and it catches Space Cadet right in the middle of its wedge on its lifter this time as Syl tries to maneuver around a bit too close to the corner. WHOA!!! THAT WAS A WHOPPER OF A HIT! The lifter is torn clean off and the sheer violence of the hit leaves Space Cadet’s entire frame warped. Beef King slams hard into the wall and takes a while to recover. Space Cadet...isn't moving. Wow. Whoa. That was unexpected (as in, I determined that Noah had a 20% chance of a OHKO and literally rolled a five sided dice on it in the RPG discord which came up a natural five). Something inside must've been jarred loose. With very little time left on the clock, it runs out before another attack can be made or the lifeless Space Cadet can be counted out. We're uh...going to the judges. Aggression: 10-5 Space Cadet Damage: 13-2 BEEF KING Strategy: 9-6 Space Cadet BEEF KING wins a 24-21 judges' decision Jack Frost vs. Xonotic smacks Bob upside the head Jack Frost wins by a forfeit. Speed Bison vs. Ravex Speed Bison has the advantage from the beginning, using its speed advantage to avoid Ravex's massive lifter and shove it around. Ravex is just too slow and unwieldy to keep up, and after 3 minutes it's looking much more battered and bruised than when it started. Just truly out-classed in this one. Aggression: Speed Bison 12-3 Damage: Speed Bison 15-0 Strategy: Speed Bison 11-4 Speed Bison wins 38-7. Panzer Strike Mk. II vs. Howler III Seems both sides are indredibly pessimistic about their chances in their RPs. How odd. Howler starts the fight sideways, reaching death hum speeds swiftly. Panzer Strike approaches and fires tha hammer, but Howler's side blade is in the way... CLANG! There goes the hammer. This is distinctly not good for Ava, who makes a tactical retreat, whilst Howler spins up once more, shuffling a little more out of the box. After a moment to reposition, they rush for the side, but take another hit, getting thrown skyward, the plow shorn completely off of the front of the bot. Luckily, it lands on its wheels, but something's gone wrong inside Panzer Strike, as it's not moving any more. Howler III wins by KO on 0:49. Krakatoa vs. Chemical Explosion Here we go, battle of the tracked spinner against the tracked brick. Chemical Explosion veers off at an angle, but both machines go on the attack early on, ChemEx timing the hit perfectly with its bar reaching full speed. Nevertheless it glances off the very sturdy plow of Krakatoa and goes skidding away. Krakatoa gives chase, and rams into ChemEx again. Chemical Explosion’s bar is near a standstill, and it just barely slips away from getting caught again and potentially pinned. Krakatoa wedges it from behind, but Chemex turns sideways, getting another glancing blow with its bar. Eventually Krakatoa knocks ChemEx into the wall, stopping the bar, and intercepts it as it drives away. It pushes it against the wall and up goes the lifter. Chemical Explosion goes up on its side, and Krakatoa just holds it there until the pin timer expires. Chemical Explosion slides down off the wall and starts to spin again. Krakatoa comes after it, but it pivots in place and nearly gets around Krakatoa’s plow and to the tracks. It catches the side of the plow, but isn’t going fast enough to do any damage. And Krakatoa is quick to retaliate with another slam into the walls, overturning Chemical Explosion again and shoving it towards the pulverizers. Chemical Explosion takes a couple hammer blows before it can get free, and the sharp hammer has noticeably dented the top panel. There are definitely some good hits being dished out by Chemical Explosion, but it’s only scratching the paint on Krakatoa’s plow, and the lifter is in steady control of the match. Towards the end Chemical Explosion lets out a bit of smoke too, and the weapon is noticeably more sluggish than before, but it’s still working, and the match goes to the judges. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Krakatoa 8, Chemical Explosion 7 Aggression: Krakatoa 10, Chemical Explosion 5 Strategy: Krakatoa 10, Chemical Explosion 5 Your winner, by a 28-17 Judges’ Decision, is Krakatoa!
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Jun 12 2018, 10:00 AM Post #15
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	TIE-BREAK WEEK Nick's Fuzzy Rules vs Experiment 626 Both bots rush at eachother, NFR managing to win the wedge war, catching 626 with the POLISHING WHEEL OF DOOM as they take them under the Pulveriser, which dents up Stitch's eye after a few hits. Ouch. After managin to escape, 626 mounts an assault, catching the side of NFR and shoving them back a bit, before NFR manages to twist and retaliate, shoving 626 back into the wall. The fight progresses in more or less the same way for the rest of the match, with NFR remaining on top for most of it. Doesn't get a KO before the buzzer ends the match, but still a fairly dominant display throughout. Aggression: 8-7 Experiment 626 Damage: 9-6 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Strategy: 9-6 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Your winner, by a 25-20 judge's decision, is Nick's Fuzzy Rules! Klarinette vs. Charybdis Not short, not sweet. Klarinette rams, Charybdis pinballs. The first hit does some major damage to Klarinette's scoop, but Charybdis struggles to get to full speed after that because Klarinette just keeps coming at it. We do get some very nearly full speed hits and even a couple more full speed ones, but Klarinette refuses to be knocked out and just keeps coming. Eventually Charybdis bounces into an area it can't escape from and Klarinette manages to pin it under the hammer for an extended period of time. Which is 15 seconds until the end of the match. Aggression: 15-0 Klarinette Damage: 14-1 Charybdis Strategy: 9-6 Charybdis Charybdis wins by a 23-22 split judges' decision. Lulver vs. Diablo Genesis FIGHT ROBOTS FIGHT! Lulver revs up while Diablo Genesis floors it ASAP. Lulver's looking to smack those support bars off, but DG's coming at it like a bat out of hell, and he's not gonna take it! He then proceeds to do this novelty strategy of drive in -> angle in -> tip lifter up a bit -> imitate that flipagram roast laugh as Lulver gets gyro'd away. You know the one. Lulver gets bounced around the arena a lot, but w0lf's aware that he can't risk getting the body hit. Oddly enough, Lulver never ends up under the pulverizer like it's opponent had wanted, but the constant rattling gives it a bit of shaken baby syndrome. Diablo Genesis seems to have mostly come out fine too, with it's strategy working out well. Well, except for that one time where it didn't work out too well and a couple of the bars get torn off like cardboard tubes, along with the lifter starting to wobble with each movement. But... the remaining 45 seconds prove to be too short for Lulver to really take advantage of it, nor is DG's drivetrain majorly affected. Let's go to the judges! Aggression: 9-6 Diablo Genesis Damage: 9-6 Lulver Strategy: 9-6 Diablo Sega Genesis Diablo Genesis wins by a 24-21 judge's decision. Killing Intent vs. Patchouli Short RPs? Short result. Patchouli is able to prevent KI's flanking attempts with strafing, landing a couple of decent drum hits. KI self-rights with its attack stick, and this times bullrushes the drum, but Patchouli is able to outwedge it and send Patchouli head over heels. Again the axebot self-rights, and continues its charge, but can't find a way past Patchouli's drum, and takes a lot of hits throughout the three minutes without being able to give much in return. Aggression: 9-6 Killing Intent Damage: 14-1 Patchouli Strategy: 11-4 Patchouli Patchouli wins 31-14 Magnolia Grande vs. Meanstreak All right, well Meanstreak II has come into the arena already looking a bit worse for wear: apparently Laz decided to make some last second modifications and mount some blunt skids that stick out less to avoid Magnolia Grande’s undercutting blades, but due to the robot not actually having a set of blunt skids he just took an angle grinder to the ones already on the bot, then got kicked out of the grinding area due to taking the guard off. As a result Meanstreak II now has one skid with the end ground off, one that’s blunted and like halfway cut through, and two intact skids on top. Anyway, the match begins and Magnolia Grande’s engine roars as it starts to spin up, but Meanstreak is already zooming across the arena. It rams into Magnolia Grande’s right bar. Both robots are knocked sideways by the impact and MG’s other side throws a few sparks off the floor, but the weapons are still spinning and it gets out into the middle of the arena and has time for the engine to get into its optimal power band. Meanstreak’s still after it, though, and there’s another big hit! Something flies across the arena – I think it may be a chunk of tooth from Meanstreak’s drum! Again Magnolia Grande is knocked away, and hits the floor again, slowing its weaponry a bit further, but it skids away far enough that by the time Meanstreak gets to it it’s spinning at dangerous speed again. There’s another couple of glancing blows. Magnolia Grande clips the partially cut-off skid on the left side of Meanstreak, but this just shears the already weakened tip off entirely and bounces it off the lexan. Meanstreak doesn’t seem to care at all, and finally gets a big hit that throws Magnolia Grande into the wall! The bars stop, and that’s Meanstreak’s chance to come in for the, uhh, not really kill. It pops it up on its rear and gets under it, but Magnolia’s weapon support framework stops Meanstreak’s drum without taking any real damage. Meanstreak’s got Magnolia pinned, and pushes it under the pulverizer, but the pulverizer head is missing Magnolia’s spindly chassis, and eventually it has to release it. Magnolia unceremoniously runs away, taking a shot on the treads in the process, but manages to get spun up and still doesn’t appear to be damaged. Meanstreak, on the other hand, gets its teeth torn up even more by subsequent blows, and eventually takes a big shot that spins it violently enough to flip it over. This throws Magnolia Grande into the wall again, though, and Meanstreak hits it before it can reach full speed, the impact flipping Meanstreak back over. And yet again Magnolia gets back up to speed after a glancing hit, but takes a shot from the killsaws. One of its exhaust pipes is torn off – will that affect the engine’s operation, or just make it even louder? Front rows get complimentary earplugs, by the way! Meanstreak charges into Magnolia Grande again! Magnolia tries to turn away, and that’s a massive hit! Both bots are sent flying halfway across the arena! Magnolia’s sent not exactly gyrodancing since the bars cancel each other out, but bouncing off the floor. Meanstreak recovers first, but it’s drum isn’t spinning! There’s a gash in one of the end caps, and it’s hard to tell but it looks like it might be bent so it contacts the frame! But there’s smoke coming from Magnolia Grande’s engine area! The engine revs, and it sounds normal, but the bars are responding a lot slower than they were before. Despite a nice dodge it can’t reach full speed before Meanstreak rams it again. Grande gets a couple more big hits, but it’s having real trouble getting the weapon up to speed now (boiz), and Meanstreak is as aggressive as ever even without its own weapon. It pins Magnolia again, and this time gets the bar spinner to take a couple of pulverizer shots that bend the weapon support frame on the right side downward a bit. Eventually time runs out. Meanstreak’s drum is really looking battered, and there’s not many teeth left, but it’s still done some damage of its own, cooking its opponent’s clutch. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Magnolia Grande 11, Meanstreak II 4 Aggression: Magnolia Grande 4, Meanstreak II 11 Strategy: Magnolia Grande 6, Meanstreak II 9 Your winner, by a 24-21 Judges’ Decision, is… Meanstreak II! Khnum vs. Metal Heck Khnum wins by a forfeit.
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


That Kode Guy	Jul 1 2018, 05:20 PM Post #16
Ruiner of All Posts: 9,053 Group: Admin Member #33 Joined: December 1, 2006	QUARTER-FINALS LIGHTWEIGHTS Hoarfrost vs. Flash Flood Two wedgebois with near identical setups get three minutes to out-underneath-get the other with some clever driving on both sides. When Flash Flood wins the wedge war, it manages to kick Hoarfrost into the air, which occasionally spends a moment or two spinning around on one wheel before settling back down. When Hoarfrost wins the wedge war, however, Flash Flood takes some aggressive slams into the wall. We see more slams than flips throughout the fight, but with no hazards, this was always going to go the full three minutes. Aggression: 9-6 Hoarfrost Damage: 8-7 Hoarfrost Strategy: 9-6 Hoarfrost Hoarfrost takes a 26-19 Judges' Decision La Valette vs. Ayame La Valette’s starting sideways, and it appears that Ayame didn’t plan for this. Forcing the first impact the way Alex V wants is going to be tricky from this angle, and in a desperate attempt to stop that deadly bar from reaching top speed, Ayame opts to drive into the part sticking out of the back. The not-quite-full speed hit makes a big gash in Ayame’s face and bounces LV into the back wall, slowing its weapon further. LV continues spinning and backing off whilst Ayame recovers from the robot equivalent of a concussion. When the two come face-to-face again, LV’s spinning quite fast and Ayame, the brave little green cheese wedge it is, takes another quite unpleasant hit as it dives in to slow that blade down. This time, though, the impact spins it perfectly to face LV, and it jumps in again, mangled panels and all, and gets under the now-much-slower-moving weapon and starts popping the flipper. One flip, two flip, red flip, blue flip, LV’s all over the place until it bounces off a wall at a weird angle and manages to escape the chain-flipping madness. The retreat-and-spin approach works its magic one more time, and a second hit to the gash in Ayame’s face as it rushes LV down puts an end to its drive motors. The flipper, surprisingly, still works, but bouncing around like that doesn’t quite constitute controlled movement. La Valette wins by KO in 1:32. Nick's Fuzzy Rules vs. Dr. Robotnik Robotnik spins up, and NFR goes in for the slam! Wham! There's now a decent chunk missing from the bottom of its wedge, and Robotnik is spinning away. It spins up again, turning to face NFR, but NFR is already on top of it, and it takes a much weaker blow to the wedge. The hole in the plow is a bit larger now, but NFR is pushing Robotnik toward the wall. Bonk! There's the wall. NFR backs off a bit to lower its lifter to get a lift on Robotnik, but Robotnik sees its chance and drives off, its spinner speeding up once more. NFR chases after it, poking its lifter under Robotnik's rear (lewd) but Robotnik spins around and clips the corner of NFR's now increasingly mangled plow, sending both of them careening away. Robotnik now takes this chance to get its disc up to full speed, and then begins its advance on NFR. NFR's looking beat up, but it aims the most intact part of its plow at the disc and charges in. Bam! The plow is gone, and Robotnik is spinning off again! NFR is not deterred and continues its advance, getting behind Robotnik this time and shoving it into a corner, which stops the disc. NFR's able to get the lifter under Robotnik this time, but isn't quite able to get the strand. NFR settles for keeping Robotnik trapped in the corner for the remaining 30 seconds of the match. It's smoking and missing a plow, but still going! That's got to impress the judges, right? Let's see. Aggression: 11-4 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Damage: 12-3 Dr. Robotnik Strategy: 9-6 Nick's Fuzzy Rules Nick's Fuzzy Rules wins an incredibly close 23-22 split decision! Experiment 626 vs. Anti-Virus I'unno, two bricks trying to slam each other about the box for 180 seconds. 626's lifter helps slightly with controlling its opponent, but AV's drivetrain advantage means its attacks have a little more urgency. Sometimes they run each other into the walls, but since the hazards are disabled, it's basically every other brick fight ever. :v Aggression: Anti-Virus 8-7 Damage: Anti-Virus 8-7 Strategy: Experiment 626 8-7 Anti-Virus squeaks into the next round with a 23-22 decision MIDDLEWEIGHTS Harbinger vs. Diablo Genesis Note to Drew. If a wedge is hinged, and it's not flush with the rest of the robot, well... gravity will fix that. :V Anyway this goes pear-shaped for Diablo Genesis pretty quickly. Initially Harbinger finds he's having trouble getting around Diablo... so he thwacks. Now, Drew says he's going to try and clamp if Harbinger thwacks. The problem? He's got an exposed side to deal with. So he gets thwacked aside. Harbinger immediately takes advantage, gets under the side, and slams Diablo into the wall before Drew can regain any composure. With no real counter to this, Diablo is forced to take thwack after thwack and eats a lot of wall. There is one moment where Diablo is able to turn JUST fast enough to get the thwack tail to slide up the front inside of hitting the side, but Harbinger's just too fast and escapes before a clamp comes. From there, Harbinger ASSUMES DIRECT CONTROL of the match. Aggression: 10-5 Harbinger Damage: 10-5 Harbinger Strategy: 11-4 Harbinger Harbinger wins by a 31-14 judges' decision. Magnolia Pico vs. Sundancer The Mantella Bros' rivalry comes to blows again! This was supposed to be a battle of the strafing hammers, but Laz wussed out and Sundancer is using its flipper attachment. Lets' see how well that plays out. Sundancer cruises across the arena, and strafes sideways, dodging Magnolia Pico's first hammer blow. Its teeth let its wedge slide right under its opponent, and over goes Magnolia! The flip's not that impressive because of Magnolia's weight, and the geometry of Sundancer's flipper making anything it tries to flip slip off partway through the stroke, but it still forces the walker to self-right. And Sundancer is on it again, but this time just gets a small bite of Magnolia's side and doesn't get it all the way over. The bots separate again. Sundancer strafes to try to dodge Pico's hammer. Alex tries to use his own strafing to match it "step for step," which fails miserably because reaction time exists. Magnolia Pico gets flipped again, and to add insult to injury lands on the conveyor and goes onto the floor flipper. This rights it and it goes for another hammer blow, but its weapon sparks harmlessly off Sundancer's very sturdy shock-mounted flipping plow. So far, Magnolia Pico is eating a dick, and shows no sign of stopping. Aside from stopping completely stationary for five seconds while Alex messes with something on the transmitter, and nearly getting counted out. Is there something wrong with that unique walking drivetrain? Wait... who's that standing up in the bleachers. By Gawd it's Mr. AS, and he's got a boom box! Is that... is that Eurobeat? Nani? Yeah... if your bot has the control algorithm to move its legs in an arbitrary direction at an arbitrary speed, and is capable of the differential throttling required to turn while driving normally by moving the legs on one side faster... it's not that much more complicated to also be able to move the back legs sideways faster than the front legs. Whic means... DÉJÀ VU I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE As Sundancer confidently moves in for a flip, Magnolia Pico circle-strafes out of the way. HIGHER ON THE STREET AND I KNOW IT'S MY TIME TO GO Sundancer tries to strafe away to safety, but Magnolia's chasing it, and down comes the hammer! CALLING YOU AND THE SEARCH IS A MYSTERY Sundancer is impaled on Magnolia Pico's axe head! The hammer slowly retracts, and the entire robot is lifter into the air, nearly overbalancing the walker in the process. At the apex of its arc, Magnolia Pico slams it back into the arena floor with enough force that it bounces a few inches into the air again, and rollers tumble across the arena. This also frees Magnolia Pico's hammer, and it continues to circle-strafe around Sundancer as smoke pours from the hole in its chassis and it gets counted out. Your winner, by extreme drifting knockout in 1:38, is Magnolia Pico! Marauder vs. Patchouli Patchouli starts sideways. Beautiful. I guess she wants to get to that corner or something, but that awful control disparity is making it tricky. Marauder is looking to cram that scoop into Patchouli's mouth, and it does happen... at the expense of a hugely torn up scoop. It's lost almost the entire top half, and some flayed parts at the bottom, while being partially torn out of the back, hanging on by one side. On the other hand, Patchouli has almost virtually no control after the hit. It does its best Rooster Teeth impression and pinballs all over the arena. In fact, it does this so well that Marauder has a very hard time tracking it. However, with its perfect control it does manage to line up correctly just before Patchouli lands in a stable fashion, and rockets into it. It takes a minor hit that creates some sparks but little else, but even this proves to knock Patchouli away since the knockback on this thing is atrocious. Marauder continues to hunt Patchouli around, unable to really get a good hold on Patchouli before taking some minor hits. Finally, Patchouli lands in a way where Marauder is able to get to the back of it and slam it against a wall... which knocks Patchouli away yet again. This time, however, it's a far enough distance where Patchouli is able to spin back up before Marauder can get to it. The second full-power hit pretty much eliminates the scoop entirely, so Marauder is forced to go with the wedge. This does provide Marauder another bit of relief, however, as Patchouli is displaying some fantastic gymnastics again. Someone get her on a Summer Olympics team, pronto. Anyhoo, Marauder resumes with the bullying but takes some near full-power hits that do some small dents before managing to finally get Patchouli into a wall again. This time he's able to hold Patchy there for the full 30-second duration. Excelsior! When he does have to let go, there's a minute left in the match, so Patchouli has to hurry if she wants the knockout. Likewise, Marauder has to hold on if he wants to survive. :V Too bad a third full-power hit just demolishes that front wedge, leaving the main body on Marauder without almost no remaining protection. More gymnastics from Patchouli... 8.9, 9.1, 8.2. Decent. Marauder's bullying just isn't as effective without a wedge now and Patchouli, despite taking a little longer to spin up now, gets a final hit that defaces Marauder in a gruesome display of parts. It also immobilizes him, but the clock says 0:02. Sorry, to the judges we go. Aggression: 13-2 Marauder Damage: 14-1 Patchouli Strategy: 9-6 Marauder Marauder holds on to defeat Patchouli in a 23-22 split judges' decision. Glitch vs Clown Recluse Looks like they both want to go weapon-to-weapon, and the impact of vertical drum/disc/thing on horizontal bar has immediate effects on both bots: Glitch’s weapon support is all mashed up on one side, and CR’s entire weapon assembly has been forcibly rotated a few degrees thanks to the off-center impact. Glitch definitely came out of this worse damage-wise, but it also recovers more quickly and throws itself into CR again immediately. The state of Glitch’s weapon support makes the impact less-than-optimal, actually quite underwhelming if I’m being honest, the thing barely spins anymore. Nevertheless, pushing CR into the wall ain’t a bad idea. CR finally escapes after a long date with the arena’s lexan (hooray?) and gets its weapon assembly properly horizontal again, but finds itself getting flanked hard almost immediately and up against the wall some more. After getting out of the second pin, CR opts to try only spinning up partially, and would you look at that, I think it’s paying off! Although Glitch maintains its offensive dominance, CR’s able to turn a little better now and fend him off properly. They mostly bounce off each other’s weapons, but CR manages to shear a wheel off of Glitch right before the buzzer. Aggression: 10-5 Glitch Damage: 13-2 Clown Recluse Strategy: 9-6 Clown Recluse Clown Recluse wins by a 27-18 judge’s decision. HEAVYWEIGHTS Wedgelord vs. Hazardous Waste Removal Ooh, are we playing cat-and-mouse? Are we? Are we are we are we? Actually, no. HWR isn't really content with sitting around and decides to take the fight to Wedgelord immediately. Wedgelord has different ideas. He starts gunning for the sides of HWR. Well, HWR makes this difficult by turning with him, and eventually Wedgelord has to make a risky aggressive manoeuvre. That's when HWR manages to clip the corner of Wedgelord and tear a small piece of the plow off. However, with that, Wedgelord is able to come in and wedge HWR properly from the side, eventually pinning it against the wall. 30 seconds pass... okay, let him go. The same thing happens again, with Wedgelord having to aggressively cut off HWR's turning, while HWR catches enough of the wedge to tear more of it off. Then Wedgelord gets him. Oh. HWR almost managed to slip away there, but Wedgelord stays with him and we get another half-minute of wall pin. And... fuck it, I'm not re-typing the same thing two more times. You get the idea. Aggression: 12-3 Wedgelord Damage: 11-4 Hazardous Waste Removal Strategy: 8-7 Wedgelord Wedgelord wins by a 24-21 judges' decision. Dysprosinator vs. Neglected Waterbug Why did I procrastinate on writing so long? Fights like this. For Dys, it’s dedication to defensive tactics pay off early on as Waterbug has a tough time outwedging the pressing lifter. The downside is that Dys doesn’t have enough of a speed advantage (both in terms of driving speed and weapon speed) to really wedge and lift NW before it can back off. Eventually persistence pays off for Waterbug as it’s able to take advantage of Dys’s handicapped drive while pressing the lifter and immediately looks to overturn his opponent. It’s not quite so easy as the flipper lacks the great thrust of most other flippers, but the action of the drum does help compensate a bit. All the same, Dys is doing it’s best to complicate the situation and it finally manages to get free and clear without getting flipped over. NW’s more aggressive approach ends up favoring it more often than not and shortly after the 2 minute mark, it finally succeeds in flipping over Dys. Dys is desperately looking to self right, but without any wedge protection, it’s much easier for Waterbug to smother it against the wall and keep it from doing anything. That’s more or less where we leave things when the buzzer sounds. Aggression: 11-4 Neglected Waterbug Damage: 10-5 Neglected Waterbug Strategy: 10-5 Neglected Waterbug Neglected Waterbug wins 31-14 Charybdis vs. Meanstreak Their first match ended in a rather one-sided victory for Meanstreak. Although it's rather funny that Josh mixed up the speed rules there, because Meanstreak is actually 2.5 times faster, not 4 times. :V Not that it helps much. Meanstreak is so quick off the mark that Charybdis can't even get up to full speed before a 5-power drum crashes into him and sends him away. For his part Charybdis does manage to get to full speed a few times and do some nasty damage to the drum, but it keeps spinning and knocking Charybdis around like a fucking frisbee. How often do you see frisbees "knocked around", not tossed? Meanstreak's always inventing new ways to beat around things. By the end of it, Charybdis hasn't really taken much damage at all except for several paint scratches around the edges. Meanstreak's drum looks pretty bad but it's stayed in one piece. Judges? Aggression: 15-0 Meanstreak Damage: 13-2 Charybdis Strategy: 10-5 Meanstreak Meanstreak wins by a 27-18 judges' decision. Klarinette vs. Infrared Wow, even with the benefit of like being 2 weeks late writing Lian didn’t RP at all or, to judge by the thread view count at time of writing, even look at the thread! So much for any dreams of adding to the absurd championship collection. Infrared wins by FF. SUPERHEAVYWEIGHTS Tax Cutter vs. Lethal Injection Under other circumstances things might be different, but the grim reality is that Lethal Injection just doesn’t have the armor to stave off death forever against Tax Cutters crazy weapon. Lethal Injection puts up a valiant effort and keeps things (relatively) together for a bit longer than you might think, but its own weapon is completely mangled at the first hit and that was the most sacrificial bit of his bot he could offer up. It’s worth noting that Tax Cutter’s low drive stats do allow LI to kind of trap it against the wall, but without any kind of functioning lifter/clamp any more there isn’t much useful LI is able to do with this opportunity otherwise. A couple more hits cause enough damage to the drive system of Lethal Injection to lead to it getting counted out. Tax Cutter wins by KO in 1:47 Danger Noodle vs. Fenrir Big vertical spinning drum vs. even bigger vertical spinning drum. The Noodler moves straight out, whilst Fenrir elects to tackle an imaginary slalom to reach its opponent. Its detour gives both machines ample time to get their weapons going at full chat, and Noods is simply waiting there. Fenrir rushes in, but wait! He veers left, and that's quite a bit of gyro-POW! Fenrir catches one wheel on Noodlydoodly, sending it flying into the lexan. The smaller machine, though, gets launched through the air with a few pieces flying loose. A whole panel has been torn off the side, a chunk taken out of a second, and the top wheel has been knocked out of its bearings. A second assault on those tasty-looking star wheels yields less fruitful results, however, Fenrir getting knocked over onto his head and some more chunks being torn out. With one busted wheel, Fenrir struggles to recover as Warning Spaghetti moves in for the killing blow. Danger Noodle wins by KO in 1:47 Krakatoa vs. Khnum "I shouldn't have to write out to you exactly what I'm doing since you're an intelligent writer." Boy, Gabe couldn’t have been more wrong about that one because this fight sure as hell stumps me. Honestly there’s not much to really say about fights like this. It’s heavily based around ramming each other head-on (more or less) and both have success (and failures) at different points. The main variances are the occasional appearance of a flame jet from Krakatoa (which of course means fuck all to Khnum’s armor) and the differences in clamping vs. straight up lifting. Khnum obviously proves more slippery, allowing him to back away from a couple bad looking situations, but overall things stay pretty even honestly. This is one match where the absence of hazards are really felt, as even though it’s close, without any hazard action it doesn’t lead to much excitement. Aggression: 9-6 Khnum Damage: 9-6 Krakatoa Strategy: Khnum Khnum wins 23-22 BEEF KING vs. Speed Bison Question: Can Big Bastard Beeflord get his Big Bastard Bar up to speed before Big Bastard Bison smothers him with SpeeeEEEeeeEEEeed? Answer: Yes but also No. Initially, HRH Beef manages to land a solid looking hit, knocking Speed Bison for a loop, the follow-up shot appearing to knock the plow from its mountings on one side. However, Our Esteemed Overlord of Meat has trouble recovering after each hit, and is already up against the wall, allowing S. Bison to charge in and slam it into the corner. Sorry, frog, NO HAZARD FOR YOU. Bison eventually backs out to allow Beef Pope to show some movement, but the second that bar starts moving again, Bison is straight back in there, bulldozing the Beefed Burger all around the arena. The unusual wheel setup doesn't help Beefer, and the rest of the fight is basically a whole buncha pushing. Aggression: 11-4 Speed Bison Damage: 12-3 BEEF KING Strategy: 10-5 Speed Bison Speed Bison takes a 24-21 decision to advance
	Team Covenant stuff Team Covenant Ruination: The Upheaval Anti-Virus = 7-0 (overall = 26-12) ~~Plata O Plomo = 4-3~~ ~~Devil's Verdict = 0-7~~ Tax Cutter = 7-0 (overall = 24-10) TOTAL = 18-10 ARC CAREER = 516-237 Pressure Drop Tellu = 9-0 (CHAMPION!!!)


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