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| Bot-O-Rama 2016: Results | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 29 2016, 12:37 AM (493 Views) | |
| Hooray For Lexan | Feb 29 2016, 12:37 AM Post #1 |
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Heavyweight
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Okay, here are the first week's matches! We've already gotten some good hits, some very close fights, and some not so close fights! Week 1 Results: Pro vs Sirocco Alrighty. New season of robotic combat, with a bunch of new competitors, and a rather unique event. With new rules. That I actually haven’t read yet. And since I’m secretly all three judges, I should probably know what I’m talking about here before stuff gets down to business. This match doesn’t start too soon, right? Ok, good. Oh I don’t think they’re actually that different. Just less numbers . I’ll also clarify this here, both for those reading and for the other writers, because I don’t know if we all saw this, but it was discussed by a bunch of in Skype that Sirocco’s non-rotational speed is weapon divided by traction, so 6.5. I will be operating under this assumption, and you all should to for consistency’s sake ![]() Alright, I think the crowd is getting angry by the wait even though you guys SAID I had time. So let’s get this match underway! The match starts up and Sirocco gets its blade spinning. Remember folks, he can’t move without it. Pro immediately charges his opponent, and misses completely. Sirocco swings around and advances on the rear of his opponent, but Pro escapes before Sirocco can get to him, and swings around to the side of his opponent, getting in a quick FLIP! that sends Sirocco (whose name I’m having issues spelling ) flying. He lands on his side, but after bouncing about for a bit, gets upright and is back in it. Pro is staying on him pretty well, trying to get to his side again. But then he over-steers, right into the path of Sirocco’s blade, which catches onto the side of pro, causing a huge deformation of its top plate. None of the internals are damaged somehow, but they are quite exposed. Doggedly pressing onward, Pro manages to get to the side of Sirocco once more, but can’t get a proper flip in, since its top plate has ended up obstructing the flipper arm. Pro attempts to wedge Sirocco anyways, but there just isn’t anything to wedge. Badnik swings the propeller back around and causes absolute carnage. He’s actually ended up with wiring from Pro stuck in his propeller blade. Pro is counted as the first one immobilized, soYour winner, by knockout in 1:22, is Sirocco! Annoying Wasp vs. Blood Blister The two bots circle, sizing each other up. Suddenly, both robots go in and crash against each other. Annoying Wasp’s about to go in for another blow when Blood Blister’s blade lifts it off the ground! It keeps going, higher and higher, until it goes to space! Annoying Wasp, not one to be outdone, goes up into space also! But, since they’re not in orbit, the competitors begin to fall back to Earth. Blood Blister, since it went up first, falls down first, and burns up in the atmosphere. Annoying Wasp does as well, but due to a technicality about “international law” and “various space agencies being concerned” Blood Blister is kicked out of the tournament. Winner: Annoying Wasp by Re-entry in 2:21 EDITOR'S NOTE BY HOTDEALSINTEXAS: BLOOD BLISTER FORFEITS. Panda vs. Havoc Pigeon All right, let’s get this event started! In the red square we have Panda, a very fast 2WD wedge/rammer, and in the blue square we have Havoc Pigeon, an overhead spinner with an interesting offset drivetrain. The moment the buzzer sounds, Panda charges across the arena, taking barely over a second to reach the other side. Havoc Pigeon starts to spin up and tries to strafe out of the way, but that long heavy bar is a little sluggish to start from a standstill, and Panda is just too fast, ramming into HP before it can leave its starting square. It strikes a glancing blow, and Havoc Pigeon’s bar catches the side of the wedge, sending Panda into the wall. However, there’s no visible damage, and HP’s bar nearly comes to a stop again. Havoc Pigeon retreats, and spins up again. Panda makes another glancing charge, but this time the bots are knocked farther apart, and now Havoc Pigeon’s bar really seems to be going at full speed. The weapon is almost invisible except for the yellow-orange blur of the teeth. But Panda is undeterred, only taking a second to line up a shot before charging into Havoc Pigeon again. This time it hits dead-center, and orange sparks fly as S7 meets AR400. Both bots are sent flying, Panda doing several somersaults while Havoc Pigeon spins wildly, and bounces off the wall. Panda lands upside-down, but just keeps attacking. Havoc Pigeon decided to stand still in the near-left arena corner for some reason, and is rammed into the arena wall, stopping the bar. Panda quickly follows up, getting around the side of HP and pushing it to the other side of the arena, then pinning it against the wall until the judges call for a release. Havoc Pigeon spins back up, and dodges away from Panda to take the center of the arena. Panda rushes it again, but this time the bar catches the left corner of Panda’s plow, sending both bots flying with a loud CRASH! A small piece of metal flies across the arena, and it looks like a chunk has been taken out of the side of the pushybot’s wedge, and part of the front plate has been peeled back! The battle continues like this for a while, with Panda’s quick and powerful drivetrain allowing it to do most of the aggressive work, and Havoc Pigeon just trying to keep up. But as the match timer reaches one minute, Panda misses with a charge completely, giving HP time to get up to full speed. Fearless as ever, Panda turns right around and goes in for another attack on the side of Havoc Pigeon, but the bar spinner accelerates backward at the last moment. The hit sends Panda tumbling again, and it looks like it’s in multiple pieces, but Havoc Pigeon is spinning out of control, the bar scraping the floor on one side and then the other. Now too far off balance to recover, the robot catches a floor seam and pops itself a couple feet into the air, tumbling end over end and landing on its back! Meanwhile, Panda comes to a stop. The wedge has been peeled back further, but even worse, the left tire has been ripped off the wheel! The other drive motor is still going strong though, and it slowly flails its way across the arena. Havoc Pigeon turns its weapon back on, and begins to bounce and wobble as the bar and body start spinning in opposite directions. It bumps into the wall, glances off, and the robot does an acrobatic flip around the long axis of its bar and lands on its wheels again! Panda does its best to keep attacking, but with a wheel missing it can’t really pursue Havoc Pigeon and keep it from spinning up. HP tries to maneuver around the sides and go for the other wheel, but Panda is still fast enough to keep it front facing it opponent and Havoc Pigeon has to settle for taking more chunks out of the wedge. It seems to be attacking fairly cautiously, possibly not wanting to flip itself over again. Finally, in the last ten seconds, Panda gives its good drive motor full throttle, spinning around like a thwackbot. Havoc Pigeon moves in, and there’s one last big collision before time runs out. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Panda 1, Havoc Pigeon 4 Aggression: Panda 4, Havoc Pigeon 1 Strategy: Panda 3, Havoc Pigeon 2 Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges Decision, is Panda! Sister Sledge vs Bolt Thrower Now, Sister Sledge has an un-specified number of wheels here. I’m assuming 4 WD, as that is pretty standard. Ya’ll shoulda specified if you wanted different Anywho, the match starts and both robots move out. Bolt thrower attempts to angle into the side of SS, who attempts to counter this, turning to face BT and swinging the hammer. And promptly tipping over due to the combined effects of turning and swinging its massive hammer. Bolt thrower immediately wedges his opponent, and the drum delivers a devastating blow to the underside of Sister Sledge, although it also puts her back on her wheels. SS charges BT, but this just results in her riding up the wedge and taking another hit to her underside. Sister Sledge rights itself with its axe again, with only its rear wheels still working by the looks of it. With most of his opponent’s mobility gone, Bolt thrower is easily able to finish off Sister Sledge with another hit or two of the drum.Your winner, by knockout in 1:36, is Bolt Thrower! Blaze vs. Hikage Blaze comes streaking across the arena like a rocket, and before Hikage can even think about spinning up, it… misses completely and slams into the wall. That’s poor driving, and will likely count against them in the strategy department. But it may not matter, because Blaze hit the wall with such force that it somersaulted into its side, and unlike some robots it has no standoffs to avoid being trapped there. Its wheels spin helplessly, but it isn’t going anywhere. Hikage, now up to speed, creeps towards Blaze in reverse, contemplating freeing it with its rear wedge. But then it turns away, drives to the center of the arena, and performs a victory spin as the crowd laughs and Blaze is counted out. Your winner, by hilarious knockout in 0:19 without doing anything, is Hikage! EDITOR'S NOTE: BLAZE FORFEITS Feathergo vs. Oh Geeze Green light to engage! Feathergo rushes in, eager to attack. It rams straight into Oh Geeze, but it seems to do nothing more than knock Feathergo around. Oh Geeze, quickly rebounding, responds by flipping Feathergo, knocking it on its side. Feathergo gets back up – and just gets flipped again! The durable bot, though, is able to weather the attacks, and it spins up its blade just in time to be dealt another blow. The axe does nothing more than bounce off Oh Geeze's armor, but what else can it do? Oh Geeze rams straight into Feathergo before flipping it again–and what's this? Feathergo seems to be stuck against the wall of the dead zone? It appears unable to free itself! Oh Geeze adds insult to injury and rolls over! It flips Feathergo again, sending it over the edge and out of the arena! Feathergo can't take it anymore! It's smoking! Can it move? It appears not! Winner: Oh Geeze by KO in 1:32 Sportsman: Hundred Dollar Dustpan vs Loud Love The match starts and both robots rush at one another. Funnily enough, Kody was right, and Loud Love cannot fit in the dustpan. Of course, that means he can’t hit HDD with his hammers either. So LL eventually gets stuck on the bit HDD’s flipper that sticks up, and gets rammed into the wall. He tried to escape, but, being slower, can’t. Toxic flips Loud Love, which does absolutely nothing. Loud Love has been flailing with his hammers this whole time, although the effect of this has been almost entirely naught so far, only 1 or 2 glancing blows. Now knocked free, he’s able to get to the side of HDD and get in a few shots before ending up sideways in the dustpan. With a golden opportunity, Hundred Dollar Dustpan drives LL towards the ring out area, but Loud Love is eventually able to get himself out of the dustpan. The match continues in this such fashion, with HDD as the obvious aggressor simply due to his speed advantage. He ends up quite dented by the end due to the continuous whacking of Loud Love. Aggression: 4-1 Hundred Dollar Dustpan Damage: 4-1 Loud Love Strategy: 3-2 Loud Love Your Winner, in a split decision, is Loud Love! Tormentor vs. Vice The bots charge straight for each other as the much begins. Tormentor initially bumps into the corner of Vice’s jaws and misses with the hammer, nearly flipping itself over, but quickly recovers and approaches again, trying to get around the side of Vice. Vice manages to keep its jaws pointed at Tormentor for the most part, and Tormentor drives up onto the tip of one of the lower jaws. But before Vice can close its jaws, Tormentor fires its hammer, slamming into the top of Vice with a crash that causes dust on the arena floor to leap a few inches into the air. The impact knocks Tormentor free of Vice’s jaws, and it retreats about a foot, adjusts its aim, and brings the hammer down right on top of Vice’s right-side shuffling pads! Vice, meanwhile, has done absolutely nothing to try to avoid the attack. The top plate has a huge gash in it, and appears to have been caved in – and now thick, white smoke is pouring from Vice! Tormentor retreats to its starting square as flame shoots from the hole in Vice’s armor, and the “end of match” buzzer sounds. The event marshal scrambles into the arena with a fire extinguisher. Your winner, by spectacular knockout in 0:21, is Tormentor! EDITOR'S NOTE: VICE FORFEITS Sling Shot vs. Ahlspiess Green light to engage! Ahlspeiss tentatively goes in, but then gets bolder and rams into the still Sling Shot. Sling Shot reels, with its armor pierced but no sign of further damage, but quickly regains its composure and flips Ahlspeiss! Unfortunately, though, it lands on its feet. It gets up just in time to be flipped again! This time, though, it lands on its back–or at least it would it it didn’t land on Sling Shot! It gets knocked to the side and lands on its front, ready for another blow. It manages to shoot its spike just in time for another crushing blow. Sling Shot’s armor is dented, but it doesn’t matter–Ahlspeiss is stuck upside down! Luckily, though, it can still move. It pierces Sling Shot's armor, but it gets flipped anyway. This goes on and on–Ahlspeiss getting flipped, maybe damaging Sling Shot's armor in the process but not enough. Both bots are injured, like champions: Ahlspeiss has a dented spike and wheel guards, preventing it from moving in addition to just being knocked around a lot. On the other hand, Sling Shot seems fine apart from a slightly dented and pierced arm. Ahlspiess is about to get destroyed from the constant abuse when the buzzer rings. The judges are deciding. The winner is... Sling Shot! Sling Shot–Damage: 4 Aggression: 2 Strategy: 3 Total: 9 Ahlspeiss– Damage: 1 Aggression: 3 Strategy: 2 Total: 6 Edited by Hooray For Lexan, Mar 1 2016, 02:20 AM.
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | Mar 7 2016, 04:27 AM Post #2 |
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Heavyweight
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Week 2 Results All right, the second week is done, which really means the first round of combat. Buzzkill vs. Caldera Buzzkill immediately box rushes Caldera, getting in before the shell can reach full speed. The wedge slides under it, the disc pops it a few inches in the air, and then it lands on the disc again and is tossed backwards. Caldera doesn’t seem too affected though, and is now close to full speed. Buzzkill charges in again, and the weapons collide full-force. Caldera goes flying halfway to the arena ceiling, but the gyroscopic forces of its weapon keep it upright. Buzzkill is knocked sideways, and the wedge appears to be bent. Another attack from Buzzkill, and Caldera goes flying again, slamming into the arena wall halfway up. It bounces down at an angle, and despite its wide base it remains tilted, precessing like a top. Looks like with the shell resting on the ground in the wheels in the air, the shell remains stationary and the body spins! Caldera’s driver turns the weapon off and it returns to the ground, but it’s now vulnerable with the weapon not spinning! Buzzkill senses weakness, and comes flying in! Before Caldera can get up to speed, Buzzkill slams into it, first pushing it into the wall and stopping what little momentum the shell had, then hitting it with the weapon. Caldera somersaults into the air, flipping over several times and coming to rest on its back. The robot’s body spins madly and it rolls around on its conical top, even lifting briefly onto its rim, but it’s no use. It keeps spinning around and trying to self-right to the bitter end, but is counted out. Your winner, by knockout in 0:47, is Buzzkill! Radio Hit vs Do Not Open The match starts and Do Not Open rushes Radio Hit, who was unable to get out of the way, smashing him into the wall. But then Radio hit’s drum catches on the upper corner of Do Not Open’s wedge and flips him over. Un-phased, Do Not Open attacks once more, and this time the drum flips him back to the correct inversion. Do Not Open Once again charges the front of Radio Hit, and about the same thing comes of it. He keeps doing this for about a minute, and eventually the two ends of the wedge start to show a bit of damage – they’re certainly not flush with the ground any more. Do Not Open gets in another strong wall slam, and this must’ve caused the belt of Radio Hit’s drum slip, because the drum is slowing down, so Playzooki turns around and starts using the back wedge. Unfortunately, due to the weight of the drum behind the wheels, it’s not really the best of wedges, but he does manage to get underneath DNO a few times – but even then, DNO could usually just drive off. No, the last minute and a half of the match are mostly just Do Not Open wedging Radio hit into various walls after maneuvering around to his side. Aggression: 5-0 Do Not Open Damage: 3-2 Radio Hit Strategy: 3-2 Radio Hit Total: 9-6 Do Not Open wins! Bunx vs. Bonk! Green light to engage! Bonk! rushes in, making a satisfying clanging sound as the weapons collide. Bunx flits to the side, chewing up a wheel before Bonk! gets thrown back. it regains its composure, though, and manages to turn its drum in time for another hit. Both bots go flying, with Bunx landing upright and Bonk! upside down. Luckily, though, Bonk! is invertible, and the fight continues. Bonk! goes on the attack, repeatedly slamming its drum into Bunx’s shell which is now starting to warp. After a particularly strong hit, Bonk! is momentarily stunned – and Bunx uses that chance to flit to the sides and chew up one of Bonk!’s wheels. Bonk!, partially immobilized, can’t turn fast enough to dodge a devastating hit at the rear that dents its armor. Bonk! gets thrown and lands with its drum facing Bunx. Both bots collide as the bell rings. “The winner is… Bonk!” Bunx–Strategy: 2 Aggression: 1 Damage: 3 Total: 6 Bonk!–Strategy: 3 Aggression: 4 Damage: 2 Total: 9 Winner: Bonk!, by Judge’s Decision Redneck Alimony Payment vs. Hopscotch Pilgrim Both bots take their time spinning up, Redneck Alimony payment moving to the middle of the arena while Hopscotch Pilgrim waits a couple seconds before drifting out of its starting square. HP seems to be trying to circle around and go for RAP’s wheels, but with its slow speed it just isn’t happening. Weapon-to-weapon contact is inevitable… and it happens with a loud “Clunk!” Both robots are sent spinning away, but they’re both still at close to full speed. RAP comes in for another attack, knocking both robots into the wall. RAP’s weapon is nearly stopped, but it quickly spins up again. HP hockey-pucks around the arena, slamming into two more walls before regaining control near its starting square. Both bots are still spinning, though! They approach each other for another hit, and this time a small chuck of metal flies across the arena and Hopscotch Pilgrim starts to vibrate! Was one of its teeth damaged, or did RAP manage to hit the main body and take a chunk out of its armor? It’s hard to tell, Hopscotch Pilgrim is still spinning like mad! RAP attacks again, but this hit is different. There are no sparks like you’d expect from steel-on-steel contact, and Hopscotch Pilgrim is vibrating even worse now, bouncing out of control and sailing across the arena into the wall! Redneck Alimony Payment still seems unaffected, and seems to be waiting to see what its opponent will do next. And now it looks like a little smoke is coming from Hopscotch Pilgrim! The vibration has stopped, but it looks like the center of its rotation has changed! Redneck Alimony payment cautiously moves in – it seems to have sensed something here! It strikes Hopscotch Pilgrim one last time. RAP knocks itself into the wall, but Hopscotch Pilgrim becomes airborne and flies halfway across the arena, bouncing off the wall two more times, and coming to a complete stop! The power and direction lights are on, but there’s no movement! The baseplate and the lower part of the sidewall have been peeled downward, and smoke is coming from one of its motors! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! And Hopscotch Pilgrim ends the countdown prematurely by tapping out! Your winner, by knockout in 1:43, is Redneck Alimony Payment! NOTE: So this fight needs a little explanation. Toxic, you couldn’t really go for the wheels since HP is a melty and it doesn’t matter what angle you attack from – and RAP is way too fast and well-controlled for HP to be able to outflank it. So, what happened is that on the fourth hit, Redneck Alimony Payment got its bar underneath HP’s ground clearance because HP was bouncing up and down a little after having a chunk taken out of its tooth, and took off a large part of one of HP’s wheels. The unbalanced wheel made HP bounce around for a while, but it also demanded a huge amount of torque from the motor. Being a melty, HP would have a low gear ratio to get a high tip speed, so after a while that motor burned out. Rebellious Activity vs Vorpal Bunny I am rather annoyed that you just included your own stats, and not those of Rebellious Activity HDIT . but anyway, the match is starting. I really like the cleverness in using the spin-up torque of your bar to move out of the way of the box rush. It works great. Well, except for the fact that RA wasn’t rushing. Instead, Badnik is carefully lining up for the perfect ram, while Vorpal Bunny is lurching around like a drunk sailor on dry land for the first time in a year. Confused, Badnik rushes VB as soon as his attack is well lined up, and with a large THWACK the bar hits RA, knocking away both robots. VB hockey-pucks into a wall, so RA quickly goes back on the offensive, ramming VB into the wall once… twice… thrice… and a fourth time, then pinning him for a bit so he can’t escape. Upon release, VB immediately starts spinning the bar back up, but that torque that helped him move out of the way of the box rush now works against him, as he ends up with his rear exposed to RA again, who simply rams him right back into that wall, stalling the blade. More wall slams, more time wasted. RA is forced to release VB, who this time just runs away to the middle of the arena, then spins up his blade, with RA in hot pursuit. With the blade nearly at full speed (it’s spinning up quite a bit slower now), VB tries to lurch around and get a hit at the side of RA, but that’s just not going to happen with that speed. Still, he hits the center of RA’s plow again – in a different spot, but that’s still a helluva dent there. Both robots are kicked away, but RA charges in once more and rams Vorpal Bunny into the wall. Realizing that there’s only 10 seconds left, RA pins VB for the remainder of the match.Aggression: 5-0 Rebellious Activity Damage: 4-1 Vorpal Bun Strategy: 3-2 Vorpal Bunny Total: 8-7 Your winner, in a split decision, is Rebellious activity! Database vs. Papercuts Green light to engage! Database rushes in as Papercuts spins up its blade. The two blades crash together as Papercuts is knocked away and. Papercuts follows it up by rushing into Database, causing it to get knocked to the side! But Database lands upright, and flits away before Papercuts can get another hit in. Database circles Papercuts, looking to get a shot in – but it seems unable to get past Papercuts’ blade. It goes in, finally able to get a hit in, and knocks Papercuts upside down! Papercuts jumps into the air, landing upside down. Despite spinning its blade, it’s unable to get up! Papercuts is counted out as Database wins the match. Winner: Database, by KO(immobilization) in 2:23 The Horney one vs Neon The amount of innuendos I could make about the Horney One. But I won’t. At least, I won’t this time… mostly because this match went remarkably quickly. Upon the start, Neon splits up. THO goes straight for green, lifting it remarkably quickly. But then Blue comes in from the side and tips THO over. THO is unable to self-right, and is counted out. Your winner, by KO in 0:24, is Neon! Wyvern vs. DnB Green light to engage! DnB activates his hammer, rushing at Wyvern as Wyvern rushes to the side, narrowly avoiding a hit. DnB goes in for another hit, but gets thwacked and knocked to the side. Wyvern goes in and flips DnB, who then readies himself for another hit. DnB gets his hammer ready for another flip, but Wyvern quickly changes into a thwack and knocks DnB around. DnB gets flipped again, just as it gets back up. Luckily, this time, it’s able to at least tear open a bit of Wyvern’s armor in the process. But what’s this? Its left wheel appears to be stuck! It can still move – somewhat – and continues fighting. DnB decides to stay in the center of the arena, getting one hit for every two dealt to it. DnB can’t take this much longer – its hammer seems to stop working after a particularly intense hit. A few more flips, and DnB stops working completely. Winner: Wyvern, by KO(dismantlement) in 2:44 Nurse Killjoy vs. Answering Chord: Both robots leave their starting squares quickly. Answering Chord’s chainsaw spins up with a menacing whir, and Nurse Killjoy shoots a small burst of fire as it ignites its flamethrower. They circle for a bit, trying to get around each other’s sides. Finally, Nurse Killjoy comes in for an attack, its low front wedge scooping under the front of Answering Chord. AC can’t reach any part of NK with its saw, but Nurse Killjoy’s beak seems to have been stopped by Answering Chord’s tall top wedgelets. The wedgelets bend, but they prevent NK from putting its beak through the top armor of Answering Chord. It settles for pushing AC into the wall, but then releases it. The robots circle each other again, and this time Answering Chord gets the upper hand, getting around the side and getting its wedgelets underneath it. The chainsaw slices into Nurse Killjoy’s titanium side panel in a shower of white sparks, and AC is able to push it into the wall and hold it until the pin timer runs out. Again the robots release each other and reset. There’s a big gash in Nurse Killjoy’s side, but the damage appears to be cosmetic, and its gets underneath the side of Answering Chord! The beak finally comes into play, first scraping against AC’s top plate, then puncturing and warping it slightly. But Nurse Killjoy’s beak has a fat tip to accommodate the flamethrower nozzle, and it can’t get it deep enough into AC’s armor to get the flamethrower under the robot’s skin. It settles for lightly roasting it, but AC doesn’t seem to have been affected too badly. As soon as Nurse Killjoy releases it, it swerves around, getting under Nurse Kiljoy’s right side again. But this time, Nurse Killjoy’s side is lifted upward and the robot is flipped over! Answering Chord must have reversed the direction of its saw! And it isn’t done yet; it pushes Nurse Killjoy and gets under it again, shoving the saw, now spinning downwards like before, into the exposed baseplate! Nurse Killjoy can’t self-right with Answering Chord holding it up against the wall like this, and AC slowly cuts through the baseplate! It backs away, letting NK self-right, but the damage is obvious; a huge gash in Nurse Killjoy’s underbelly. Nurse Killjoy is still moving though, and it rushes across the arena like a shiny silver rocket, getting under AC’s side again! It sinks its beak into the top plate, and parades its opponent around the arena for the judges while shooting bursts of flame into the small hole in its armor. But Answering Chord is still operational! Yet again the bots circle for positioning, and again Answering Chord manages to flip NK with its saw and slice into the baseplate! NK self-right again, but it isn’t pursuing AC – it looks like it’s lost the left side of its drive! This could be crucial! AC tried to go in for the kill, but NK still has plenty of maneuverability. The small hook on the front of its beak actually gets into AC’s side rollbars, and Nurse Killjoy is able to lift the sawbot into the air and spin it around! Eventually it releases it. AC backs away and goes for another attack. The robots collide perfectly face-to-face, and Nurse Killjoy’s beak actually goes straight into the gap between Answering Chord’s frame and it’s saw! Both robots grind to a halt, trying to push each other around. The pin clock runs out, and the judges call for NK to release AC… uh oh. Well, it looks like we’re going to have a time-out since the robots are stuck together. This might be a good time to grab some more popcorn. As the robots are pried apart, Answering Chord’s chain falls to the floor, useless, but the tip of Nurse Killjoy’s beak has been bent and chewed up. Neither robot is going to do much damage. There’s thirty seconds left. The robots keep circling around for position. Nurse Killjoy manages to clamp onto AC and roast it again, but can’t push very effectively with the damage to its drivetrain, and time runs out without anything decisive happening. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Nurse Killjoy 2, Answering Chord 3 Aggression: Nurse Killjoy 2, Answering Chord 3 Strategy: Nurse Killjoy 3, Answering Chord 2 Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges Decision, is Answering Chord! |
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | Mar 7 2016, 04:42 AM Post #3 |
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Heavyweight
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Also, here's how the builders did in the first round: HotDealsInTexas: 1-2 The_Angry_Goat: 3-0 Hiicantpk: 1-2 Cha0sFerret: 2-1 Toxic: 2-1 BrianTheAmerican: 1-2 NoiseyGiraffe: 1-2 Britespark: 0-3 (ayy lmao) scorpion1m: 0-3 Kodebreaker: 2-1 Badnik96: 3-0 playzooki: 2-1 |
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | Mar 22 2016, 09:27 PM Post #4 |
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Heavyweight
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Week 3 Results Hey guys, sorry these were so late! Annoying Wasp vs Sirocco The match begins, and both robots move towards one another. Sirocco begins to circle AW, seeming more like a dangerous bug than its opponent. Unfortunately, this doesn’t do much for him, as AW is able to keep the front facing him, and eventually dives in, seeing an opening. AW’s blade strikes the supports of Sirocco’s blade, taking a glancing blow from the weapon as well. This knocks AW away and around, and Sirocco quickly charges his opponent. Annoying Wasp attempts to turn to face his opponent, but only gets about halfway there, exposing his side to sirocco’s blade. And just like last week, he rips a huge chunk of his opponent’s top up, but not quite off. Both robots go flying, Sirocco landing on its side. But a quick bumpitybumpbumpTHUNK and he’s back upright. Or upside down. I’m really not sure. AW cautiously moves in for another hit as Sirocco keeps trying to circle him. Eventually AW moves in again and his a support. Which is promptly flung against the arena wall. So Sirocco did land right side up, then. Now listing to one side, hitting its blade against the arena floor every so often, Sirocco attempts to continue circling. AW darts in again, trying to hit the other support, but gets nothing but blade. Another try, and this time a hit. Sirocco and AW both go flying, the force of the impact flipping Sirocco upside down. It’s a new fight for Sirocco, with its weapon actually supported. The same strange dance starts once more, with AW as the aggressor again, whacking Sirocco’s support, but this time getting a whole lot of his blade too. Both robots are flipped from this impact. But oh! What’s this? Annoying Wasp is stuck on the bent piece of its top – it can’t move! But, with only 7 seconds left in the match, we’ll have to wait and see what the judges think. Aggression: 4-1 Annoying Wasp Damage: 3-2 Sirocco Strategy: 3-2 Sirocco Total: 8-7 Your winner, in a split decision, is Annoying Wasp! Bloodblister vs. Pro Green light to engage! Just before the bots get ready to fight, Blood Blister starts smoking – and what’s this? It’s growing legs! The legs are too big! They’re going through the roof! Blood Blister keeps growing – but its legs are shaking! The legs crack and break! Blood Blister hits the ground at a quarter of a kilometer per second, causing an interesting ending to what was sure to be a boring, boring match. Winner: Pro, by forfeit Buzzkill vs. Havoc Pigeon: Buzzkill zips out of its starting square and starts circling around the back of Havoc Pigeon. HP advances at its normal sedate pace, and… uh oh. The bar turns a couple revolutions and then stops, then starts to spin up vvveeeeeerrryyyy ssssllllooooowwwlllyyy. Cogging, the nemesis of brushless-powered weapons, strikes again! Buzzkill also strikes, driving into the back corner of Havoc Pigeon with the weapon going full speed. It rips a wheel off along with what looks like a gearbox, and sends Havoc Pigeon flying. It lands on its back and the body turns sluggishly, then stops. It’s designed in such a way that when upside-down one or two wheels touch the ground when the bar isn’t spinning, but it can’t do anything but flop around helplessly while it’s counted out. Your winner, by knockout in 0:21, is Buzzkill! NOTE: Cogging is a real thing. If you look at real fights, spinners will sometimes have their weapon spin a little bit, then stop, and take a few tries to spin up for real. Ordinarily I wouldn’t write a spinner losing this way, but Havoc Pigeon forfeited. Sister Sledge vs Hopscotch pilgrim Sister Sledge wins by FF Hikage vs. Feathergo Green light to engage! Both bots plow into each other as they spin up their weapons. Feathergo knocks Hikage backwards, causing it to land upright. It spins up its disc just in time for another hit, denting its armor. But Feathergo turns to face Hikage for another hit and wobbles a little – Hikage takes that chance to ram into Feathergo, blades at full, cracking its armor and sending Feathergo reeling. Feathergo turns to take another hit and the blades crash into each other – sending Hikage flying! It lands stuck on the side of the arena, and it seems unable to get up! It’s counted out as Feathergo wins! Winner: Feathergo, by KO(immobilization) in 1:55 Oh Geeze vs. Blaze 3... 2... 1... Go! ...I said GO! GO! Well, Blaze doesn't move at all. Oh Geeze approaches cautiously, flips it, and retreats to let it be counted out. Your winner, by knockout in 0:15, is Oh Geeze! NOTE: Blaze forfeits Loud Love vs Ahlspiess Guess what? I’m gonna call your robot Al . The match starts and Al walks down the street charges at LL. Noticing this, Loud Love comes right back at Al. both are rather slow, so their idea of a charge is quite comedic. At any rate, they meet and Al immediately shoots his pokey thing. It does naught more than scratch the paint on the underside of Loud Love. Meanwhile, LL’s hammers are whack whack whacking at the top of Ahlspiess, causing some warping of the side guards after a few hits. Looking for his shot at redemption, Al backs off and tries to get around to LL’s side, but Kody’s having none of that, and keeps his front facing Al, getting another hit or two in as he continues to flail the hammers around. Frustrated from his original goal, Al rams back into the front of LL, firing the spike again. Once again, nothing. Loud Love’s flailing finally does something useful for it, as a hammer warps the rear right wheel of Al out of place, causing the chain on that side to loosen, and Al to lose drive on that side. Loud Love continues pounding away, and dents are definitely forming as Al squirms around. Ahlspiess fires the spike again, and oh! He’s caught a wheel! But, unfortunately, that just means that Loud Love is rather lopsided now; the wheel can still mostly drive the robot around, just not quite as accurately . LL proceeds to flop to the side of Al, whacking away at the other side of Ahlspiess, knocking both wheels off at the same time. It sits there, wheel-less, contemplating its meaning in the universe as the ref counts it out.Your winner, by KO in 2:00, is Loud Love! Sling Shot vs. Hundred Dollar Dustpan Green light to engage! Both bots go in at the start of the match. At the last minute HDD goes to the side and gets Sling Shot in its dustpan and flips him, sending Sling Shot flying. Sling Shot regains its wits quickly, and HDD goes in for another hit. It reverses once it sees Sling Shot’s up, but Sling Shot, the faster robot, manages to flip Dustpan. HDD flips itself back, but Sling Shot flips it again – and again after that – causing it to bounce. Its dustpan appears to be dented, but it’s otherwise okay – or it would be if Sling Shot hadn’t flipped it yet again! This time, its wheel is jammed against the armor, and it’s having trouble moving! Sling Shot flips it yet again, and it’s stuck against the wall. It can’t move! Winner: Sling Shot, by KO(immobilization) in 1:22 The Horney One vs. Tormentor: Both robots start out aggressive, heading straight out of their starting squares. The Horney One tries to get around the side of Tormentor, but Tormentor is having none of it, turning in place and keeping its axe pointed at THO. The bots collide head on, THO’s front forks sliding right under Tormentor’s chassis. Tormentor fires its axe, but not quickly enough, and is sent flying onto its back! The Horney One may be a lifter and not a flipper, but the weapon arm moves so fast it can toss robots into the air anyway! Tormentor quickly self-rights using the axe, but THO is right in position to get under its side and effortlessly flip it back over. It tries to shove its opponent into the wall, but Tormentor gets back on its wheels and spins out of the way, retreating for a moment to get its bearings. It charges back in, going straight for the front of THO – will it get the axe into play this time? It does, but The Horney One’s driver was more cautious this time, and raised the lifter partway. Tormentor’s axe slams into the lifting fork, bending it, but the axe head is hooked onto the lifter, and the force of the impact has caused Tormentor to tip backwards, lifting its wheels off the ground! THO seizes the advantage, picking Tormentor up, then driving backwards as the lifting arm rotates past 90 degrees, and slamming Tormentor into the wall with a crash that makes the Lexan ripple. THO drives away and lowers its lifter. Tormentor has landed partially hung up on the wall, but quickly frees itself by firing its axe. The bots size each other up. Tormentor has already used five shots of its axe early in the fight, and who knows how much gas it carries, but one side of The Horney One’s fork is bent downwards, stopping the other side from touching the ground. Tormentor has a low ground clearance – will THO still be able to get under it? Tormentor makes the next move, rushing forward and going for the damaged side of THO. The lifter doesn’t get underneath it, and Tormentor fires its axe, but the damaged fork ends up keeping one of Tormentor’s corners farther from THO than the other and making the axe miss completely. It backs away, narrowly avoiding being flipped over again. The bots circle for a while longer, Tormentor missing a couple times with the axe and THO managing to flip it over one more time. But finally luck is on Tormentor’s side. It charges for the undamaged side of THO’s lifter this time, and finally gets the jump on it. WHAM! The axe head buries itself completely in the flimsy top cover of The Horney One. THO tries a retaliatory lift; the arm raises Tormentor a few degrees, but as Tormentor retracts its axe a jet of liquid shoots from the hole in THO’s armor and splatters against the arena ceiling! That’s the end of The Horney One’s weapon! It’s stuck partially raised, but is it high enough to block Tormentor’s axe? No it isn’t! Tormentor fishtails in for another attack, slipping on the spilled hydraulic fluid, and brings its weapon down again. It backs away, and The Horney One doesn’t pursue, or retreat, or do anything else but sit there and get counted out. Your winner, by knockout in 1:24, is Tormentor! |
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | Mar 27 2016, 10:46 PM Post #5 |
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Heavyweight
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Week 4 Results: Bonk! Vs Do Not Open Why are the two pictures of Bonk! different . The match starts and both robots are out on the aggressive, Bonk! going straight for the front of DNO, who nopes out of that and circles around Bonk!. Bonk! tries to keep up, but just cant, and DNO is able to get his rear wedged, charging him into a wall. Bonk! SLAMS into the wall, and then DNO pins him for as long as he is allowed to pin him. Upon release, Bonk! is right back on the aggressive, but it really isn’t doing much for him as DNO out-maneuvers him once again, getting to his rear, driving him into a wall, and pinning him again. Bonk! is released once more and turns to face DNO. This time he’s in a corner so DNO cant get to his rear. But he can get to Bonk!’s side, so he pins Bonk! again. A man in the crowd boos. This time when Bonk! is released, he’s able to quickly swing around the front and get a glancing blows to the side of DNO’s wedge, which does absolutely nothing. Once again, Bonk! charges DNO, misses completely, and can’t swing around his weapon before DNO is able to get to his side and slam him into a wall, pinning him for the remainder of the match.Aggression: 3-2 Bonk! Damage: 3-2 Do Not Open Strategy: 5-0 Do Not Open Total: 10-5 Your winner is Do Not Open! Caldera vs. Toxic: Panda immediately charges across the arena, slamming into Caldera before it can spin up and slamming it into the wall. It follows up by shoving Caldera into the corner and holding it until the pin limit. Eventually though, it has to retreat, and Caldera wastes no time in driving out of the corner and spinning up. Again, Panda tries to knock Caldera into the wall before it can spin up, but this time Panda’s overenthusiastic drivetrain causes it to do a wheelie, and it glances off Caldera’s sloped sides. Caldera moves into the arena center, and is now at its full, terrifying speed. But, well, there’s really only one thing a wedge can do against a shell spinner. Panda lines up its shot and rams straight into Caldera again with a massive crash! Both bots are flung sideways and Caldera hockey pucks off the wall, but it keeps spinning, and there’s a big gash in Panda’s front plow! But it keeps attacking, ramming into Caldera again and again and finally stopping the shell and taking Caldera on a guided tour of the arena. But the plow is gradually getting more and more battered. The gash is bigger, and the steel has been peeled back. Caldera spins back up, Panda lines itself up for another charge, and WHAM! This time, Caldera moves out of the way at the last moment, catching the corner of Panda’s plow! Three objects fly across the arena: Caldera, a dazed looking Panda, and a mangled plow. Caldera slams into the wall and tips almost on its side, rolling on its rim like a coin, but luckily falls back onto its wheels. Meanwhile… Panda doesn’t seem to know what to do without a weapon. It drives into the corner, bumps into the plow… oh no, it’s pushing the plow out of the corner, and seems to be lining up another charge. Caldera is back up to speed, and is waiting in the center of the arena. Is Panda actually going to use the remains of its plow as a battering ram even though it’s no longer attached to the robot? Yes it is! It accelerates straight and to Caldera, and oh no! Stop the match, stop the match! Well folks, Panda’s strategy of pushing its own detached plow into Caldera’s shell did not pay off. Both bots are still moving, but the match is over because the plow got flung into the arena wall hard enough to crack one of the Lexan panels. Don’t worry, no debris left the arena, but the panel will have to be replaced before we continue with matches. The match will be decided by the judges up until the point when the match was stopped. Judges Decision: Damage: Caldera 5, Panda 0 Aggression: Caldera 1, Panda 4 Strategy: Caldera 3, Panda 2 (The trick with the wedge was creative, but spectacularly ineffective) Your winner, by a 9-6 Judges Decision in 2:29, is Caldera! Radio Hit vs. Bunx: Green light to engage! Both bots spin up before racing towards each other. Bunx flits to the side and knocks Radio Hit a bit, but aside from a dent no major damage can be seen. Radio hit responds by turning and rushing forwards, causing Bunx to spin around the arena. Just as it gets its bearings together, Radio Hit rushes in again and slams into Bunx, causing it to hit the walls again. This time, Bunx doesn’t land upright. It can’t move, and is counted out. Winner: Radio Hit, by KO(immobilization) in 0:48 Vorpal Bunny vs Database The doors are locked, right? Good. Let’s get this underway! Vorpal Bunny starts out cautiously, while Database appears to be trying to charge VB. That is a slow ass charge, but it kinda works. Both robots go weapon-to-weapon on the first hit, and both are launched in separate directions. Database is tossed across the arena, while VB flies backwards and onto his rear, gyro-dancing there for a bit, eventually coming down right-side up. Database’s weapon is spinning a good deal slower now, and appears to be unbalanced. It’s possible it might just be running on one of its motors now. Both robots meet up again, but this time VB is able to get a lucky hit on the side of Database, ripping off a huge chunk of his corner – a wheel going with it – and leaving Database immobile. Your winner, by KO in 0:55, is Vorpal Bunny! Papercuts vs. Rebellious Activity: Rebellious Activity, as usual for wedgebots, accelerates out of its square very quickly, but Papercuts isn’t spinning up for some reason. RA swerves around Papercuts, going for its non-wedgey side. Papercuts tries to turn, but just isn’t fast enough! RA easily gets under it and slams Papercuts into the arena corner. The momentum of the collision is enough to make it bounce off, but it lands back on its wheels. It still doesn’t spin up, but this time is able to get its wedge pointed toward Rebellious Activity, and actually gets underneath the lifter! Unfortunately, RA’s back wheels are still touching the ground, and it backs away before Papercuts can exploit its advantage. Papercuts pursues, but RA drives around it again, and again pushes it into the wall. This time it uses the four-bar lifter, and the combination of the lift and the speed of the charge send Papercuts flying onto its back! With Papercuts not spinning, this could all be over! No, wait – NOW the bar starts spinning, and after a few seconds Papercuts gets back on its wheels. The weapon stays at full speed – either Papercuts was having trouble with the weapon and that impact got it working, or the driver was trying to use the front wedge but was too slow to pull it off. Either way, Rebellious Activity is undeterred, and literally drives a ring around Papercuts before ramming into its side. RA is knocked sideways, and Papercuts is sent at least two feet in the air, but lands back on its wheels. The rest of the fight goes pretty much like this, with Rebellious Activity making excellent use of its speed and maneuverability. Papercuts keeps the bar spinning, and tears a couple chunks out of RA’s lifter, but the damage doesn’t seem to have affected its function. At one point, RA manages to slow Papercuts down enough to flip it, and brings the lifter down on top of Papercuts and holds it in the corner, stopping it from self-righting until the pin timer runs out. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Papercuts 3, Rebellious Activity 2 Aggression: Papercuts 1, Rebellious Activity 4 Strategy: Papercuts 1, Rebellious Activity 4 Your winner, by a 10-5 Judges Decision, is Rebellious Activity! Redneck Alimony Payment vs. Bolt Thrower: The two bots crash into each other as the bell rings. Bolt Thrower gets thrown backwards as RAP’s blade hits it, a large dent appearing on the wedge. RAP follows it up with another hit, opening Bolt Thrower’s wedge and rendering it ineffective. Bolt Thrower gets back up and rams into RAP. The blade crashes into the drum, sending RAP flying but knocks Bolt Thrower’s drum off entirely! Bolt Thrower rushes in, trying to nudge RAP around a bit more – but only succeeds in getting its front wedge torn off entirely. Another few hits disable Bolt Thrower permanently. Winner: Redneck Alimony Payment, by KO(dismantlement) in 1:44 Neon vs Vice :/ this coulda been a fun one… Neon wins by FF Nurse Killjoy vs. DnB: Green light to engage! DnB rushes Nurse Killjoy as he dodges to the side, attempting to crush DnB. It wriggles out of the way but not before denting a wheel guard. DnB responds by slamming the spikes down on Nurse Killjoy’s wedge, dealing an equal amount of damage to him. DnB crashes into Killjoy for another hit, but only gets its front left wheel crushed by Killjoy’s blade. A quick burst of flame renders it permanently damaged. It tries to move back, but the broken wheel forces it to just spin in circles. Killjoy goes in but gets knocked away by the drum – at least that seems to work. However, Killjoy seems the only bot able to move! Another few hits and DnB can’t block them all, causing its wheels to get crushed and its hopes of winning to be dashed. Winner: Nurse Killjoy, by KO(dismantlement) in 2:40 Wyvern vs. Answering Chord: The bots charge towards each either, and Wyvern immediately gets underneath the front forks of Answering Chord, flinging it into the air! It bounces off the arena wall almost halfway to the ceiling with a crash that ripples the lexan. It lands upside-down, but seems unaffected, and goes in for another attack. This time it gets underneath Wyvern’s flipping prongs, and the saw hits one of them creating a few orange sparks. It starts pushing Wyvern towards the judge’s table, but Wyvern backs away and spins around to get underneath the side of AC and toss it into the air again. And again. And again. Wyvern just keeps the pressure up, flipping AC over and over without letting it get its bearings. Finally Answering Chord manages to get around the side of Wyvern and dig its saw into the right wheel guard, but Wyvern quickly dances away, and the cut appears to be superficial. The bots circle each other and come in for another attack. Wyvern gets under the front of Answering Chord, and they’re dangerously close to the dead zone! Wyvern fires its flipper, launching AC upward and forward, and it bounces off the arena wall right next to the judges-side dead zone and a well above the gate! Just a few inches to the left and it would have been Wyvern’s match! As it is, Answering Chord is still fighting an uphill battle. It manages to get under Wyvern, and this time Wyvern flips thin air! The robot tilts backwards, and AC is able to push forward and get the saw into Wyvern’s chassis, pinning it against the arena sidewall! After a couple attempts though, Wyvern frees itself with the flipper, and it seems to still be moving just fine! Wyvern gets in a few more flips, and Answering Chord manages to get to the side of Wyvern and take a chunk out of its tire before the match goes to the judges. Judges Decision: Damage: Answering Chord 3, Wyvern 2 Aggression: Answering Chord 1, Wyvern 4 Strategy: Answering Chord 1, Wyvern 4 Your winner, by a 10-5 Judges Decision, is Wyvern! Edited by Hooray For Lexan, Mar 28 2016, 02:54 PM.
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | Apr 5 2016, 12:58 PM Post #6 |
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Heavyweight
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Week 5 Results: Pro vs. Annoying Wasp Pro immediately box rushes Annoying Wasp as Annoying Wasp spins up, but Annoying Wasp, which started the match facing sideways for some reason, turns out of the way and smacks Pro in the side. The titanium-on-titanium hit produces a brilliant shower of sparks, and Pro’s momentum carries it into the wall, but it quickly backs away and turns to face Annoying Wasp again, apparently unharmed. AW is now at full speed but Pro charges straight in. It looks like Annoying Wasp tries another swerve, but it doesn’t work: Pro’s shallow wedge gently deflects Annoying Wasp’s blade upward without knocking the robot away, and it slides far enough underneath it to fire the flipper. There’s another shower of sparks, and Annoying Wasp goes flying! It bounces off the wall halfway to the ceiling, hits the floor with its blade, and lands upside down. The bar of AW is slowed by the impact with the floor, but it quickly gets back up to speed. Pro keeps up the pressure, and tries to get around the side of AW. AW turns, in time, but it doesn’t matter: with the robot upside-down the blade is now a couple inches off the floor! It hits the front of Pro’s wedge, but the impact spins AW around and lets Pro get under Annoying Wasp’s rear. Another massive flip sends Annoying Wasp sailing through the air. It comes down on the top right edge of Pro blade-first, and the impact tosses it sideways across the arena. There’s a big gash in Pro’s armor, but it just turns right around and drives in for another attack. Annoying Wasp is upside-down again, but this time its bar hits Pro’s wedge hard enough to knock the spinner out of the way of a flip – and even better, Annoying Wasp hits the floor again and bounces back right-side-up! Sensing an advantage, it goes on the attack for the first time and manages to get slightly around the side of Pro. The impact throws the bots apart, and the damage looks superficial, but the leading edge of Pro’s front right corner has been peeled upward slightly; this could make it hard for it to get under Annoying Wasp. The bots clash again, and Annoying Wasp puts a small hole in Pro’s side panel. On the next hit, it bounces harmlessly off Pro’s wedge, but then it swerves out of Pro’s path again, sideswiping the flipper! A chunk of something flies across the arena, and Pro appears to be bouncing up and down slightly as it drives. Its wheels are normally protected by armor, but Annoying Wasp’s bar reached right underneath the chassis and took a chunk out of one of them! Pro still isn’t backing down though! It turns its undamaged left corner into Annoying Wasp and launches it into the air again! AW lands upright, but Pro’s flipper retracts before AW can spin back up, and it moves in and gets another flip in. It isn’t as powerful since Pro’s accumulator hasn’t had time to fully refill, but it’s still enough to put AW on its back! AW charges, trying to hit Pro’s flipping arm while it’s extended, but Pro spins around and gets a gash put in its rear instead. Now Pro retreats. Annoying Wasp gives chase, but Pro turns at the last moment, and slides under Annoying Wasp’s chassis. This time, instead of immediately flipping, it pushes Annoying Wasp across the arena, turning slightly. Annoying Wasp tries to drive off, but only manages to turn itself around. Pro gives pushes forward again, fires the flipper, and ANNOYING WASP IS OUT! It’s gone flying straight over the wall the dead zone! Pro takes a victory spin, and fires the flipper one more time in celebration, accidentally overturning itself in the process. With the robot’s underside visible, it’s clear that half of its right front wheel has been snapped off, but it doesn’t matter. Good driving by both machines, but Annoying Wasp just didn’t have the power to strike a decisive blow, and in the end Pro’s speed, power, and relentless aggression were just too much for it. Your winner, by OOTA in 1:34, is Pro! Sirocco vs blood blister Sirocco wins by FF Caldera vs. Havoc Pigeon Green light to engage! Both bots slowly accelerate into each other. They bounce off each other with a clang, causing the robots to get shot back. Caldera hits the wall and goes flying – right into Havoc Pigeon. Havoc Pigeon gets lifted off the ground too, and the bot tilts, letting the blade hit the ground before righting. Caldera follows this up with another shot, popping off one of Havoc Pigeon’s wheels! Another blow pops off the other wheel, forcing Havoc Pigeon to maneuver using just the front. However, this makes Havoc Pigeon’s blade tilt backwards, only allowing it to hit the top of Caldera. But Caldera flits around it, and a few more hits knock Havoc Pigeon upside down. Winner: Caldera, by KO(immobilization) in 1:40 Oh Geeze vs. Hikage Hikage spins up, and Oh Geeze, rather than going for the box rush like wedge-ey robots normally do against spinners, advances partway across the arena and sits there. Hikage also sits in its starting square, both robots apparently waiting for the other to make the first move. A long, awkward silence ensues. The crowd starts boo-ing. Drivers, can you do something please? That’s better: Oh Geeze rushes in, going for Hikage’s corner, but Hikage turns, and actually manages to catch Oh Geeze with the disc. Oh Geeze isn’t affected much though. Hikage throws itself backwards a few feet, but isn’t flipped, which honestly is going to have to be its main priority. Oh Geeze sees an opportunity, and rushes Hikage again, getting under it, shoving it into the corner, and flipping. Hikage tumbles end over end, landing upside-down. The disc hits the floor, but propels Hikage into the wall – the disc proceeds to hit the wall as well, and Hikage does at least a 720 degree somersault before landing back on its wheels. Oh Geeze attacks again, ramming Hikage before it can get out of the way, but it’s strong drivetrain makes the flipper pop a wheely and it winds up on top of Hikage’s rear wedge. Hikage tries to take advantage of this by shoving Oh Geeze backwards into the wall, but Oh Geeze easily reverses off the wedge. It tried to approach again. Hikage turns around in time, but gyroscopic forces lift its left wheel in the air and Oh Geeze easily slides underneath it before firing the flipper. Hikage is tossed into the air, but does a full 720 and lands back on its wheels. It tries to come in and hit Oh Geeze’s flipping arm before it can retract it, but Oh Geeze turns slightly and the disc glances harmlessly off the steel wedge. Its flipper now fully retracted, Oh Geeze turns, gets under Hikage, and flips it again. Hikage is tossed onto its back. The disc hits the floor and it goes skidding across the arena, slamming into the wall wedge-first. The disc has enough momentum to make it bounce and skitter a little, but eventually Hikage comes to a stop on its back, unable to move. Oh Geeze approaches, but does nothing to free it, and Hikage is counted out. Your winner, by knockout in 0:53, is Oh Geeze I'm Terribly Sorry I didn't mean to Flip Your Robot Over! Redneck Alimony Payment vs Sister Sledge The match starts and Sister Sledge is on the offensive, aiming to get at the wheels of RAP. He can’t. RAP is able to keep his blade facing him, and eventually SS oversteers and exposes his side to RAP, who moves in, catching one of Sister Sledge’s many corners, causing a good deal of damage. Sister Sledge continues to aim for the wheels of RAP, and continues to not be able to. RAP slowly chips away at Sister sledge, simply waiting for SS to mess up, then moving in and dealing quite a lot of damage. eventually, RAP hits sister sledge, and sister sledge no longer moves. Your winner, by KO in 1:08, is Redneck Alimony Payment! Blaze vs. Feathergo 3… 2… 1… GO! Blaze starts it off by – what’s that? It’s smoking! And growing arms! And legs! Blaze forms a giant sword out of its hands and tries to slash Feathergo in half! It dodges and rams straight into Blaze! Blaze suddenly disassembles into its core atoms, turning into a fine dust. Police subsequently raid the arena for “stealing government tech” and “costing the government trillions of dollars”, and both drivers are called in for questioning. Winner: Feathergo, by forfeit in -921:103 Loud Love vs Slingshot Both robots come out aggressively. Slingshot gets under and flips immediately. LL goes FLYING! And that’s about it. He might be upside down? I dunno. He advances. And is flipped again. And advances. But this time a hammer comes down. Right on a wheel. The aforementioned wheel no longer works. Slingshot fights on with a lame side, getting another flip in. but things continue to go more and more sour for him as Loud Love keeps sneaking in hits despite being flipped repeatedly. Another hammer comes down, and this time Slingshot stops moving entirely. It really looks like he’s not going to move again, so he get counted out Your winner, in 1:25, is Loud Love! Ahlspeiss vs. Hundred Dollar Dustpan Green light to engage! Ahlspeiss rushes in, quickly disabling HDD’s weapon. HDD’s flipper seems fine, so it goes in for more devastating hits. Dustpan, seemingly unmoving, is counted out after Ahlspeiss realizes that HDD can’t move. This was a boring match. Winner: Ahlspeiss, by forfeit in 0:21 Neon vs. Tormentor The blue half of Neon immediately leaves its square and races towards Tormentor in a curved path. Tormentor also drives out of its square and circles around, going for Blue – but turning its back on Green, which has left its square more cautiously. Blue darts out of Tormentor’s path while Green attacks its rear and tosses Tormentor onto its back. It self-rights, but Green has already run off. Blue approaches, and Tormentor starts driving towards it again. But this time, Blue slips under the front left corner of Tormentor, easily dodging a hammer blow, and flips it back over. Tormentor self-rights again, more slowly since the hammer is retracting, by which point Blue is long gone. Green is hovering close by, but Tormentor turns its back on it again and starts chasing Blue! It seems to be exclusively targeting one half of the multibot, and quickly pays the price when Green gets under its side, shoves it into the wall, and flips it. Tormentor appears to propped up on its side against the wall, but firing the axe frees it and the recovery stroke rights it. The bots stare each other down. Tormentor is a few feet from the blue square where it started, while both halves of Neon are waiting on either side of the red square. Tormentor heads for Blue again, but Neon splits up, both halves driving around. The bots chase each other for a little longer before Tormentor misses another hammer blow on Blue. Green gets under it and begins to push Tormentor towards the arena wall. It fires the hammer frantically, trying to free itself, but the small robot stays in position, Tormentor’s low ground clearance leaves it high-centered on Green’s wedge. Another hammer blow frees Tormentor, but Blue is immediately underneath it, and pushes it close to the dead zone. Green comes streaking in. It gets underneath Tormentor, and both parts of the multibot fire their flippers in unison. Tormentor is popped up in the air, lands inverted on top of the dead zone gate, and then slips off and out of the arena! It’s all over! Brilliant teamwork by Neon! Your winner, by joint OOTA in 0:47, is Neon! NOTE: Focusing on one half of Neon and chasing it around was a very bad strategy since they’re faster than you, and it essentially left you open to the other’s attacks. Also, each half of Neon has a weapon power of 2, so either one can toss an opponent a foot in the air plus a few inches from the flipper’s stroke. However, with two flippers firing in unison you’d double the energy transferred to the opponent. In an ideal case that energy becomes gravitational potential energy when the opponent is at its maximum height, so, when working together, Neon’s components can flip an opponent 2 feet in the air and get it over the wall. |
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | Apr 10 2016, 04:18 PM Post #7 |
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Heavyweight
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Week 6: Buzzkill vs. Panda Buzzkill spins up and slowly advances. Panda moves in a bit faster, and immediately gets the plow in underneath Buzzkill’s wedge and slams it into the wall before holding it there until the pin timer runs out. It backs away, and Buzzkill charges. Panda stops its reversing motion abruptly and goes into a slight wheelie, allowing Buzzkill to drive in underneath it and toss it into the air with its disc. Panda lands back on its wheels, and comes in for another attack, but drives harmlessly over Buzzkill’s shallow wedge, missing the disc entirely. This happens again, with Panda driving partway up Buzzkill’s sloped side skirt before managing to back away. Buzzkill approaches, but Panda drives away sideways, forcing Buzzkill to turn and lift its right wheel off the ground, and gets underneath its front again, slamming Buzzkill into the wall. It bounces away, but Panda keeps up the pressure, getting under the hinged skirts and pushing Buzzkill around a bit more before it manages to twist away and catch Panda’s wheel with its disc. Panda goes tumbling across the arena, but no real damage is caused. It lands upside-down though, and the blunter top edge of the plow rides right up on top of Buzzkill’s wedge and it gets launched again. It lands on its side against the wall, but the big, grippy wheels easily free it. It rushes Buzzkill, but oversteers slightly, giving Buzzkill a shot at the side of the plow, which it follows up with a hit to the back of Panda. Panda lands right-side-up again, and after a couple more unsuccessful attempts rams Buzzkill into the wall again… and again… and again. It seems to be driving more cautiously now and avoiding wheelies, and Buzzkill doesn’t seem to be able to get under it. In fact, it looks like the tip of Buzzkill’s wedge has actually been curled back! That thin armor survived Caldera and Havoc Pigeon, but now it’s coming back to bite Buzzkill against a pushybot! Another ram, and Buzzkill bounces onto its back, but is righted by its disc hitting the floor. It turns to face Panda, which gets a little too aggressive, does another wheelie, and gets launched into the air again, nearly going out of the arena! Buzzkill keeps up the pressure, getting another hit on one of Panda’s wheels as it tries to drive away, but it doesn’t do much damage. The bots circle each other for a little, and Panda gets under the side of Buzzkill and shoves it into the wall again! And the hinged skirt has been deflected downwards, and Buzzkill is propped up on it. Can it move? Yes it can, it just barely manages to spin itself free of the wall, but Panda gets under the front and pins it again. It backs up for another charge, but Buzzkill swerves away and Panda misses entirely, letting Buzzkill smack it in the plow again. This pattern continues until the time runs out, with both bots getting good attacks in, but neither really able to finish each other off. A great tactical battle, very close! Judges’ Decision: Damage: Buzzkill 3, Panda 2 Aggression: Panda 3, Buzzkill 2 Strategy: Panda 3, Buzzkill 2 Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Panda! Bonk! vs Radio Hit Both robots advance upon one another. Radio hit goes straight in, while Bonk! tries to come in at an angle. Radio Hit therefore hits the side of Bonk! instead of its drummette, giving Bonk! a good thwack with his drum that sends him in a 360 spin, head over tail. And just that one hit has left a horrific gash upon the side of Bonk!, although nothing seems broken quite yet. Both weapons meet in the next hit, and Bonk! seems to gain a slight advantage that lets him flip Radio hit onto his back, and then get another hit on his now exposed side as he desperately tries to turn himself back around. This causes Radio Hit to completely lose drive on the left side. He limps lamely onwards, but with all the time in the world to line up his hit, Bonk! makes sure that it’s a good one. Your winner, by KO in 1:20, is Bonk!! Bunx vs. Do Not Open Green light to engage! Both bots rush in at the beginning of the match. Bunx gets knocked back and rammed straight into the wall, but quickly flits to the side. Do Not Open turns just in time to get a hit on its wedge rather than its side, and rams Bunx again. This time, Bunx’s armor is warped. It spins up again, but quickly goes unstable. It flies into the air and lands upside down – it’s counted out! Winner: Do Not Open, by KO(immobilization) in 0:58 Bolt Thrower vs. Hopscotch Pilgrim Bolt Thrower gets up to speed and advances on Hopscotch Pilgrim, which is spinning up a bit more slowly. It catches HP before it can get up to speed and tosses it high into the air. Hopscotch Pilgrim bounces down on its side, and – oh no, flops onto the arena wall! It’s propped up there with both of its wheels off the ground, and can’t seem to move at all! Will Bolt thrower free it? It approaches slowly, cautiously, then seems to think better of it and backs off before taking a victory spin. Your winner, by knockout in 0:18, is Bolt Thrower! NOTE: HEY BRIAN, NICE RP Vorpal bunny vs Papercuts Alright the box is locked, the lights are green, let’s hope this arena can hold these two in 3…2…1! The match has begun and both robots advance towards each other rather cautiously – something to be expected when both robots are packing that much heat and OH! There’s the first hit! Vorpal Bunny got Papercuts right in the center of his wedge, knocking VB’s bar up and into the path of the bar of Papercuts. Both robots are knocked back. Papercuts stays more or less on its wheels, but Vorpal bunny is currently gyro-dancing on his back… might he be stuck there? He starts to wibble…and wobble…but then in comes papercuts with a massive blow to the main body of Vorpal Bunny! A good chunk of VB’s body goes flying, as do both robots; Papercuts into the wall, stopping his blade. Vorpal bunny ends up on both wheels, but… is he smoking? He might just be (that’s bad for your health, kids ). The weapon begins to spin back up to terrifying speed, a bit wobbly, but seemingly OK. Vorpal Bunny moves towards Papercuts, who’s getting his own weapon back up to speed now, also a tad bit wobbly. VB also appears to be trailing some entrails. They fence for a while, neither wanting to take a hit without giving something back – and there goes Papercuts’s wedge! Vorpal Bunny has ripped the whole thing off! But what’s this? look at Vorpal bunny’s weapon support! It’s gone all wonky, and the whole robot is bouncing. Thadunkittydunkthwumpbumpthumpwhumpbump…. The blade slows down, and stops. Vorpal bunny does not move. Neither does Papercuts. Get ready for a judges decision, folks, because it’s a double KO!Alright, our well-trained shaved monkeys over there have hooted at each other for a bit, and then they handed me this piece of paper. Aggression: 3-2 Vorpal Bunny Damage: 3-2 Vorpal Bunny Strategy: 3-2 Vorpal Bunny Total: 9-6 Your winner, by TKO or something probably, is Vorpal Bunny! Database vs. Rebellious Activity Green light to engage! Rebellious Activity comes rushing in, getting a hit on Database early and causing it to spin wildly. Rebellious Activity goes in for another hit, getting its lifter dented but nearly causing Database to flip. Database returns the fire with a gash on Rebellious Activity’s side. The lifter turns to narrowly avoid another hit, and flips Database over! Database tries to get up, but it’s unable to spin fast enough into the wall to right itself. It’s counted out just before the bell. Winner: Rebellious Activity, by KO(immobilization) in 2:51 Answering Chord vs. DnB Ready, set, go! DnB rushes in as Answering Chord’s blade spins up. The jammer hits the blade, sending shards of blade everywhere. DnB rushes to the side and jams the spikes into the side, pulling out wiring. The match ends quickly. Winner: DnB, by forfeit in 0:40 Vice vs the Horny one ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) … uh, I mean, THO wins by FF Wyvern vs. Nurse Killjoy Here we go! Wyvern is fighting for an undefeated run, Nurse Killjoy for a guaranteed finals spot! Both robots rush towards each other, and Nurse Killjoy does actually get under Wyvern, but with two very fast robots the momentum of the collision carries them apart. They circle around, jockeying for position, and Nurse Killjoy sees its chance! It drives in with its beak mostly lowered, and manages to catch Wyvern by one of its tires! It tried to bite down, but the tire mostly just turns out of the way instead of being crushed, and NK settles for blasting the tire with its flamethrower and getting a little bit of smoke. Meanwhile, Wyvern’s other tire is still on the ground, and dragging NK in circles. Eventually it releases Wyvern. Wyvern retreats away, and appears to unwisely turn its back on Nurse Killjoy. NK moves in for another attack, but Wyvern rapidly makes a full 360 spin and catches Nurse Killjoy with its tail! The hammer bounces off NK’s sloped side panel without doing any obvious damage, but it knocks Nurse Killjoy sideways, and before it can turn to face Wyvern again Wyvern comes in, gets under its side, and flips! Nurse Killjoy is launched into the air and bounces down, landing on its back. The beak opens, and the cable-connected wings deploy to right it, but Wyvern has moved into position behind Nurse Killjoy, and as soon as NK self-rights it flips it again! Again Nurse Killjoy is forced to self-right, but this time it just manages to drive away for a third attack! It turns to face Wyvern, and Wyvern drives straight up onto the front wedge and high-centers itself with its own tail! Nurse Killjoy brings the claw down, but Wyvern’s short, wide body means the beak actually closes an inch behind the rear of its chassis. Nurse Killjoy still rams Wyvern into the wall a couple times, but has to release it again. Wyvern immediately goes back on the attack, but can’t get under NK’s side panels and ends up missing with the flipper, but drives away before Nurse Killjoy can grab it again. It comes back swinging, first with another hammer blow to NK’s side, then with another flip! NK self-rights, but yet again Wyvern is waiting for that. Luckily, this time NK bounces back onto its wheels after the second flip. The bots circle for position a bit more, with a couple other failed charges – Wyvern is fast and its big wheels easily let it drive off NK’s wedge, but it tends to do wheelies with the thwacking tail installed and has trouble getting under NK. But finally, Wyvern goes for a thwack, its tail hits the wall, and Nurse Killjoy comes in and bites down right on the top of Wyvern, right between the flipping prongs! Wyvern desperately fires the flipper in an attempt to free itself, but the beak sinks straight through the top armor and deep into the chassis! Nurse Killjoy lifts Wyvern into the air, and parades it around the arena before banging it against the wall a couple times to get it unstuck from the beak, but we didn’t see any fire – did Wyvern’s flip damage the flamethrower? It may not matter, because Wyvern’s flipper isn’t retracting! It’s a spring-powered weapon, it relies on a winch to retract, and that winch mechanism may have been crushed! Wyvern still has its speed though, and puts it to good use, spinning madly and managing to repel several of Nurse Killjoy’s attacks with the tail or even push it around. But finally Nurse Killjoy catches it again, and sinks the beak deep into the armor over Wyvern’s right wheel. When it raises it, Wyvern is only driving with its left side. But it still flails madly around the arena, and time runs out before Nurse Killjoy can finish the job. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Wyvern 0, Nurse Killjoy 5 Aggression: Wyvern 3, Nurse Killjoy 2 Strategy: Wyvern 4, Nurse Killjoy 1 Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Nurse Killjoy! (NK did some nasty damage and Wyvern didn’t really do much visible. Wyvern was a little more aggressive. Wyvern also controlled the match for most of the time, had good tactics with using the hammer defensively and anticipating NK’s self-righting, and was in general the better-controlled robot). Edited by Hooray For Lexan, Apr 10 2016, 10:37 PM.
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | Apr 18 2016, 07:17 PM Post #8 |
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Heavyweight
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Week 7: Quarter Finals Annoying Wasp vs. Panda Green light to engage! Panda rushes in, ready for a strike. Annoying Wasp rushes out of the way and slashes Panda’s wheels, slashing one open early. The wheel still works, though, and Panda slams Annoying Wasp into the wall and shaking its blade. Annoying Wasp opens up a can of whoop-ass on Panda by severely denting its wedge. Wasp repeats the action, but this time it gets knocked back in the process. Panda takes this opening to slam Wasp into a wall again, and again, and again. After a few hits, Wasp rushes to the side and tries to slice up a wheel, but Panda turns to face its wedge to the blade. Panda slams Annoying Wasp into the wall, back-first, and Annoying Wasp starts smoking. Panda is about to go in for another hit when the match ends. Damage: Panda 3, Annoying Wasp 2 Aggression: Panda 4, Annoying Wasp 1 Strategy: Panda 2, Annoying Wasp 3 Your winner, by a 9-6 Judges' Decision, is Panda! Bonk! vs Sirocco Alright I think I’m finally managing to spell Sirocco correctly, so let’s get this started! The match begins and both robots are on the defensive here, waiting for their opponent to make a mistake. Sirocco begins circling Bonk!, looking for an opening. Bonk circles right back, keeping his front facing Sirocco. But he’s having some trouble keeping up – the gyroscopic effects of his weapon is lifting his wheels off the ground! Sirocco comes in and the blade bites into the underbelly of Bonk!, a nasty hit that flips him upside down and leaves quite a gash in his side, but doesn’t seem to affect his functionality at all. Bonk! immediately charges at Sirocco from his weaker side, taking off one of the weapon supports before Badnik can react. Thwumpitythwackwhackthunkwhunktwackticticthwump! And Sirocco’s back on two supports! He goes back to circling Bonk!, who once again is having issues keeping up – And there goes a wheel! Well, technically two wheels because each side has double-layered wheels, but you get the point. Sirocco’s driver has really taken advantage of the Bonk!’s weaknesses. And now he’s lining up another shot on the rear of Bonk!, who proceeds to cease movement. Your winner, advancing to the Semi-Finals by KO (1:12), is Sirocco! Caldera vs Do Not Open The box is definitely locked because that robot is definitely dangerous. 3-2-1 fight robots fight! Do Not Open rushes Caldera, but he’s a bit slow to accelerate, and Caldera just gets up to full spin by the time DNO crashes into him. THUNK DNO is flung straight backwards, coming to a stop near the wall. Caldera pinballs into a corner, and starts moving again, getting free and getting the weapon back up to spe – but DNO is right back in his face, this time not having to take the full brunt of the hit. He pins Caldera. He releases Caldera. Caldera attempts to escape. He cannot move fast enough to get more than a glancing blow on DNO before he is pinned again. A good minute of this passes before Caldera finally manages to free itself. DNO still gets back up to him before he gets up to full spin, but DNO seems to be having some issues shoving around his opponent. Eventually Caldera wiggles free, but still can’t get spinning again before DNO is in his way. Those wheels of his are spinning like mad, but he just can’t get a good grip on the arena floor, it seems. thunk Caldera is rammed into a wall by DNO. DNO pins him, releasing him when the time is up. You know, even the comparatively small hits from Caldera have been leaving some nasty gashes in DNO’s now pockmarked wedge. He pins Caldera once more as time expires. Aggression: 5-0 Do Not Open Damage: 4-1 Caldera Strategy: 3-2 Do Not Open Total: 9-6 Advancing to the Semi-Finals, your winner is Do Not Open! Pro vs. Buzzkill: Pro starts out aggressive, not box-rushing but still approaching at a decent clip, while Buzzkill just waits in its starting square and spins up. Pro goes for a frontal attack, and strangely Buzzkill actually reverses, driving itself into the wall. It ends up getting underneath Pro, but Pro’s attack is off-center and it misses Buzzkill’s disc, instead getting stuck on the wedge. Buzzkill turns and pushes forward, and gets a glancing blow on Pro’s side as it drives off. Buzzkill moves into the middle of the arena, and Pro follows. The robots circle for a bit, and there’s glancing contact, but Buzzkill is having trouble getting enough bite with that wedge to hit Pro with its disc, and Pro doesn’t seem to be able to get under Buzzkill’s front end. Both robots are driving aggressively, but cautiously, neither wanting to make a reckless mistake that gives their opponent the upper hand. Who will strike first? Well, apparently it’s Pro! It manages to sneak its wedge in under the front corner of Buzzkill and fires the flipper before Buzzkill can escape. Buzzkill goes flying, but the force of the flip sends Pro onto its back as well, and Buzzkill bounces down right-side up with the weapon still at full speed! Pro retracts its flipper, but it’s too late; before it can self-right Buzzkill smacks into its side and tosses it into the arena wall. It comes down on its wheels, but Buzzkill is in pursuit. Pro manages to turn in time, but Buzzkill gets under its wedge anyway. The disc pops Pro into the air a few inches, then the bot comes down on top of it again and gets knocked back behind Buzzkill. Both bots are still moving, but the tip of Pro’s flipper has been bent. The bots jockey for position again, and Buzzkill gets another hit on Pro, this time catching its front right corner and peeling part of the top cover on either side of the flipper upwards. Pro is sent spinning sideways, but stays on its wheels and comes back for another attack, only to get hit again! Now the left side of the wedge is curled upward. A bit more circling, but this time Pro takes advantage of Buzzkill’s wheel lift to get the flipper underneath it, pushes it a bit, and flips. Buzzkill hits the arena wall and it comes down inverted. The disc kicks it upright, but it’s now significantly slowed down. Pro charges in, trying to get a followup flip, but the flipper isn’t retracted yet, and while part of its wedge gets under Buzzkill the flipper and the damaged right-side top plate are stuck on top of it. Pro manages to push Buzzkill around a little, but the spinner wiggles free – only to expose its rear end to Pro and get flipped again. But Pro gets a little too aggressive – it charges towards Buzzkill, and Buzzkill dances out of the way leaving Pro to skid into the wall, and that gives Buzzkill the chance it needs to smack Pro in the side again. It gets tossed into the air and lands on its back, and now there’s a big gash in the side panel near the back. Pro fires the flipper to self-right, but does a full 720 and ends up overturned again. Buzzkill comes in on the back this time, and gets another massive hit! Pro is overturned again. It self-rights and manages to drive away from Buzzkill, but it seems to be limping around the arena, unable to quite move in a straight line. It tries to move towards Buzzkill anyway, but oversteers to the right, and Buzzkill slams into its left side, opening up another huge gash. Pro lands on its wheels and starts driving away – but leaves something behind on the arena floor, it looks like a broken timing belt. Incredibly though, Pro is still moving, albeit sluggishly. It tries to get around the side of Buzzkill, but just isn’t quick enough. Buzzkill swings around and catches it in the right side again. Pro is flung into the wall and bounces down on its back. It will have to use another flip to self-right… or will it? It isn’t firing the flipper. Has the weapon been disabled? Can Pro move at all? The judges don’t think so! Three! Two! One! Your winner, by a knockout in 2:26, is Buzzkill! Feathergo vs Bolt thrower Both robots advance on one another. Bolt thrower attempts to angle in, but Feathergo gets under, his weapon flipping Bolt thrower. Unable to self right, Bolt Thrower is counted out. Your winner, by KO on 0:13, and advancing to the Semi-Finals, is Feathergo! Database vs. Oh Geeze 3, 2, 1, go! Oh Geeze rushes in as Database migrates away. Oh Geeze catches it, though sending it sprawling into the wall. Database turns to hit Oh Geeze, but Oh Geeze lifts Database’s side up before it can and tips it over. Winner; Oh Geeze, by KO(immobilization) in 0:29 Rebellious Activity vs. Hikage: Rebellious Activity rockets across the arena, easily getting under Hikage and slamming it into the wall. The impact tilts the spinner backwards, and the drum smacks into the wall. RA lifts, and Hikage topples off the wedge. For a moment, it’s propped up with one corner on the ground and one corner on top of Rebellious Activity, but a slight left turn from RA flicks it onto its back. The disc hits the ground and shoots Hikage across the arena and into the corner, where it lies motionless until it’s counted out. Your winner, by a knockout in 0:17, is Rebellious Activity! Vorpal Bunny vs. Redneck Alimony Payment Green light to engage! Both bots wait a second before spinning up. They cautiously approach before crashing blades, which knocks RAP to the ground and makes it go gyro. They lock blades again just as RAP gets up, causing it to slam into the wall. The next time they clash, RAP goes to the side of Vorpal Bunny and manages to get past the blade before Vorpal Bunny turns and opens up a hole in the side of RAP. A few more hits disable the lawnmower for good. Winner: Vorpal Bunny, by KO(dismantlement) in 1:43 Ahlspiess vs Tormentor Two of our boxiest and highest weapon-ed sportsmans, facing off here. The match begins, and Ahlspiess… box rushes? Maybe? He’s a bit slow, but there’s definitely a reckless charge going on there. He slams into the front of tormentor and THUNK goes the spear into tormentor. Meanwhile, tormentor starts whacking Ahlspiess with his hammer. Ahlspiess attempts to back off, but his spike is stuck! He squirms around desperately, but he can’t seem to get free. Tormentor keeps hitting Ahlspiess, whose driver is now desperately calling for an unstick. It is granted. Both robots are separated, and the match is started once more. Tormentor’s smoking a bit, and his left side drive appears to be completely non-functional. Ahlspiess is attempting to retract its spike. Well, I’d assume it’s trying to. The spike certainly isn’t retracting. Looks like all that whacking by Tormentor did some damage to the retraction mechanism. So now we have a robot with a useless 6 inch spike, and another robot with a useless left side drive. I’m sure the rest of this match will be exciting. Ahlspiess eventually gets to the side of tormentor and begins shoving him towards a wall, but he eventually squirms away, firing and missing with the hammer. It kinda continues like this for a while, but oh! Tormentor gets a lucky hit in, knocking off the chain powering the front left wheel of Ahlspeiss. Oh, and the entire wheel. Ow. Well, both robots are just kinda flailing around in the arena at this point – neither is able to do anything of consequence to its opponent by the time the 3 minutes is up, although both can technically move. Aggression: 4-1 Ahlspiess Damage: 3-2 Tormentor Strategy: 4-1 Tormentor Total: 8-7 Your winner, advancing to the Semi-finals in a split decision, is Tormentor! Nurse Killjoy vs. Loud Love Green light to engage! Nurse Killjoy rushes in, and Loud Love goes to the side and gets an early hit on Nurse Killjoy. It does extreme damage to Killjoy, shredding its left wing off completely and causing Killjoy to smoke. One of the commentators makes a comment about how Nurse Killjoy will need a nurse after this. Nurse Killjoy tries to crush Loud Love, and Loud Love bats at the crusher and dents it, sending the bot flying. Nurse Killjoy follows up by ramming into Loud Love, slamming it into the wall. Loud Love turns and crashes down on Killjoy, but Killjoy darts out of the way before crashing into Loud Love again. The next time Nurse Killjoy tries this, though Loud Love is able to get a hit on Nurse Killjoy, denting its wedge. It’s about to get another hit when the three minutes run out. Judges' Decision: Damage: Nurse Killjoy 1, Loud Love 4 Aggression: Nurse Killjoy 3, Loud Love 2 Strategy: Nurse Killjoy 3, Loud Love 2 Your winner, by a 9-6 Judges' Decision, is Loud Love! The Horney One vs. Wyvern: Well, this fight’s a rematch: no bot faces another from its group in the first round of playoffs, but the builders just fought each other with Pro and Buzzkill. Anyway, just like in their last fight both drivers approach very cautiously, waiting for the other to make a move. Wyvern eventually takes the arena center, and after a bit of jockeying for position tries to get around the side of The Horney One, but THO gets the upper hand – its long front forks aren’t the lowest in the competition, but the right-hand one sneaks past Wyvern’s narrow flipping prongs and gets under the chassis. THO lifts, but without its tail Wyvern is so short it just does a 360 and ends up on its wheels again. With THO’s lifter raised, Wyvern is free to attack, and does so – but THO backs away, giving it enough time to lower its weapon and get the forks under Wyvern again, carrying the other robot through the lifter’s entire extremely long arc and suplexing it backwards into the wall. Wyvern bounces down on its wheels though, and this time even The Horney One isn’t quick enough. Wyvern gets under its side and sends it tumbling across the arena. THO lands on its wheels. Wyvern is now approaching more cautiously, wary of the fact that THO’s narrow spatula-like forks can actually get past its weapon. It tries for a side attack, but gets lifted again, this time getting flicked onto its back. Wyvern is invertable though, and before self-righting it wisely drives away, stopping THO from getting a followup attack. This pattern repeats a couple more times before Wyvern manages to get around the side of The Horney One and flip it once, twice, then three times, with THO landing on its back the third time and having to self-right. Wyvern tries another side attack, but THO reverses into Wyvern’s side and starts shoving it across the arena before Wyvern can turn away. Wyvern seems to have figured out how to deal with THO’s prongs now though, and is putting its quick, agile drivetrain and fast-retracting spring-powered flipper to good use, flipping The Horney One over and over without letting it get an attack in edgewise. Finally THO picks up Wyvern and tries to body slam it into the wall. Wyvern fires its flipper to knock itself free, and bounces down onto its enormous wheels as usual, but THO interestingly enough attacks with its lifter raised slightly, and actually jams one of its forks in between Wyvern’s prongs, picks it up, and spins it around, tossing Wyvern across the arena! I’ve only ever seen clampbots perform that maneuver before! Wyvern regains the momentum, and spends most of the rest of the match repeatedly flipping THO, although THO also gets in a couple of good flips. Then, with fifteen seconds left, The Horney One strays dangerously close to the far-side dead zone. Wyvern rushes in, ready to take advantage, and… OH NO, WYVERN’S OUT! The Horney One managed to turn just in time, and Wyvvern drove right onto its lifting forks. Then the length of THO’s lever arm and its sheer speed was decisive. Wyvern’s charge drove it back against the dead zone gate, but the lifter, almost as tall as the gate itself, picked Wyvern up like a toy, slammed into the gate at vertical, and Wyvern’s momentum sent it toppling over. Your winner, by OOTA in 2:51, is The Horney One! Neon vs. Sling Shot: Neon tries the same strategy it did against Tormentor, with Blue taking the lead and trying to distract Sling Shot while Green comes in to flank. Sling Shot waits in its corner and starts to go for Blue, but Green gets underneath and flips it. SS self-rights, and starts moves into the arena center. Green attacks, and again SS reacts by turning, only to get flipped by Blue. But Sling Shot is much faster than Tormentor, and is driving defensively, trying to keep both twins on the same side of it. They circle, trying to get an advantage. At one point it almost gets its flipper pointed at Green, but because Neon’s flipper is powered by a vertical flywheel and it turns so fast, its wheel lifts slightly off the ground just like a vertical spinner, and Green gets underneath its front and shoves it into the wall. For a while, Neon’s flanking tactics are paying off – as fast as Sling Shot is, it can’t concentrate on one half of Neon without the other half flipping it. Neon gets a few more flips in, but Sling Shot is too quick to self-right for them to have a decent shot at an OOTA like they did against Tormentor. And then Sling Shot literally backs itself into a corner. Now it will be hard for Neon to flank it like it normally does. Blue approaches cautiously, swiveling from side to side like it’s trying to bait Sling Shot into oversteering and letting it get under the side. Then Blue comes slightly too close, and Sling Shot suddenly lunges forward, getting the tip of its flipper under the smaller robot’s side as it tries to turn to run away, and flips! Sling Shot can ordinarily throw a 30 lb opponent 4-5 feet in the air, but each half of Neon only weighs fifteen pounds, and Blue is flung upward with such speed it actually hits the arena ceiling. It comes crashing down, bounces, and the shock loads are too much for that thin armor. The sheet metal gut retainer tears away, and a battery flops out of the bottom of Blue like robotic entrails. It still tries to drive, but only one wheel seems to be working, and it just flops around, and… the non-working wheel falls off and gets left on the arena floor. Green doesn’t seem to know what to do without its twin, but Sling Shot gives chase as soon as its driver can stop laughing. Green runs away, and tries to circle around Sling Shot’s side or back, but on its own it just isn’t quick enough, and it’s not risking a frontal assault with that flywheel-powered flipper waiting for it. After a lot of circling, Green finally gets under Sling Shot and flips it. SS immediately self-rights, but Green shoves it into the wall and pins it. After it’s released, SS heads for the arena center. The bots circle each other a little longer, and Sling Shot finally gets a flip in on Green, bouncing it off the wall six feet in the air. It crashes down on its back. Green fires its flipper to self-right… but doesn’t go anywhere. The wheels aren’t turning. It fires its flipper again, and again, but you need controlled translational movement to count as mobile. The countdown starts, but Sling Shot has other ideas. It carefully lines up – fifty yard field goal attempt here folks – and sends Green flying into the dead zone! Blue is still twitching and showing signs of life though, and since Green is the lighter half by five grams Neon is still technically in this fight. But it can’t really escape Sling Shot’s wrath. It spins its flywheel back up, starts approaching Blue, and – Time is up! The match goes to the judges, believe it or not! Judges’ Decision: Damage: Neon 0, Sling Shot 5 Aggression: Neon 2, Sling Shot 3 Strategy: Neon 2, Sling Shot 3 Your winner, by an 11-4 Judges’ Decision, is Sling Shot! Edited by Hooray For Lexan, Apr 18 2016, 08:16 PM.
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | Apr 25 2016, 12:43 PM Post #9 |
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Heavyweight
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Week 8: Semifinals Sirocco vs Do Not Open: The box is locked, someone’s yelling at me to start the match, so I think it’s time to start the match! The match starts and Do Not Open is rushing. So is Sirocco, although it took him a bit longer to get going since he had to spin up that propeller. Both robots collide, Sirocco turning sideways a bit from the impact… or did he do that on purpose? At any rate, he’s trying to get free and get the weapon up to speed, flopping around with his rear wheel in the process. DNO tries to shove Sirocco into a wall, but he slips free in the process, and starts to spin up once more. He starts moving towards DNO, swerving to the side, hitting his wedge and causing pretty much no damage at all. DNO quickly rams back into the blade, stopping it entirely. DNO pushes Sirocco into the wall. He rams into him a few more times, but the rams feel almost half-hearted – he’s not quite getting up to speed before ramming into him. Sirocco eventually is freed. Unfortunately he’s rammed right back into the wall. This time DNO just pins him there for a bit. This time when he’s freed, Sirocco is able to swerve out of the way of DNO as he spins up his weapon. DNO rams into Sirocco once more – but oh! Sirocco’s blade ramped up DNO’s wedge this time, catching the lip and flipping him! Is this a new fight? Will Sirocco come back? Oh, nope, the next hit flips DNO back over. They collide once more, with time expiring before anything else of consequence occurs. Aggression: 4-1 Do Not Open Damage: 3-2 Sirocco Strategy: 3-2 Do Not Open Total: 9-6 Advancing to the Finals on a Judge’s Decision, it’s Do Not Open! Buzzkill vs. Panda: This fight’s a rematch: Panda and Buzzkill fought in the group stage. Panda won, but it was close – will Buzzkill be able to turn things around this time? Panda immediately rushes across the arena. Buzzkill backs away, but instead of going for the straight box rush Panda turns and tries to go for the rear of Buzzkill. Buzzkill turns and gets its front towards Panda in time, and as Panda accelerates forward it wheelies straight up Buzzkill’s wedge and into the disc, getting tossed into the red judges-side corner. Buzzkill moves out into the arena center, and Panda gives chase, trying to get around the back of Buzzkill again. Buzzkill manages to turn around in time, but suffers from wheel lift, and Panda gets under its front end and slams it into the arena wall. Buzzkill is knocked away by the momentum of the charge, but stays on its wheels and comes back in on the attack, moving in on Panda as it backs away from the wall. It gets under Panda and flips it again, and is able to get a followup attack that takes a small chunk of rubber out of Panda’s left tire. As in the previous match, the bots circle each other. Panda really wants to get around to Buzzkill’s rear, but it keeps skidding and oversteering, and Buzzkill, which by the sound of its weapon seems to have throttled down a bit to avoid wheel lift, isn’t giving it a clear shot. Panda eventually gets under Buzzkill’s side skirt and starts a shove, but Buzzkill twists out of the way. Panda spins to face it and starts coming in for another attack, but rides up Buzzkill’s wedge and uses it like a ramp to jump away. Panda lands upside-down though, and Buzzkill quickly comes in and tosses it into the arena corner. As Panda gets down off the wall, Buzzkill charges it. Panda veers sideways to avoid an attack, but Buzzkill is fast enough to clip its right wheel and send it tumbling across the arena. Things keep going like this. Panda manages to pin Buzzkill against the wall at one point, but overall it’s having trouble getting underneath the spinner’s shallow wedge. Panda’s own plow is holding up quite well to Buzzkill’s attacks, but it’s slowly losing chunks of tire, and one hit bends the left shaft slightly, causing Panda to start wobbling slightly as it drives. Panda stays aggressive, but it seems to have lost control of the match. Buzzkill isn’t actually getting that many hits, but Panda is having a little difficulty driving in a straight line, and keeps riding up on top of Buzzkill, and Buzzkill is keeping up the slow and steady pursuit. Near the end of the match, it even launches Panda into a corner again and rushes in to pin it there, although Panda manages to escape the pin at the cost of driving itself into Buzzkill’s disc and getting launched backwards. Judges’ Decision: Damage: Buzzkill 3, Panda 2 Aggression: Buzzkill 2, Panda 3 Strategy: Buzzkill 3, Panda 2 Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges’ Decision, is Buzzkill! Rebellious Activity vs Feathergo: Hey guess what Badnik? I’m writing both of your fights . The match begins and both robots are out on the aggressive. Feathergo seems to be trying to get to the side of RA, but that just isn’t happening. The good news for him is that RA decided to go straight for his front, so Feathergo ends up wedging underneath RA anyway. RA realizes his mistake about .23 seconds too late, as Feathergo’s weapon has already flipped him. Feathergo gets another hit or two in on the rear of RA before he gets away from his opponent. He tries to right himself, but can’t quite seem to do so without the prong on top. Smelling blood, Feathergo advances upon RA, forcing RA to face him and lower the lifter. Unfortunately for Feathergo, he can’t damage this part of RA, but he can wedge it. THWACK! RA does a full 360, landing on his back once more. He tries self righting again, raising the lifter as he whacks himself into a wall. It doesn’t quite work, so he dashes across the arena and rams into another wall, and this time he gets back on the correct side. Feathergo’s still putting on the pressure, but Rebellious Activity’s playing it a bit smarter now, going for the sides of Feathergo. Feathergo tries to correct his line of attack, but just succeeds in lifting his wheels off the ground. RA proceed to ram the shit out of Feathergo for the next 30 seconds, before FG finally gets free. Oh, wait, RA got to his side again. More ramming and pinning as the clock counts down.Aggression: 3-2 Feathergo Damage: 3-2 Rebellious Activity Strategy: 3-2 Rebellious Activity Total: 8-7 Barely winning a tough split decision and advancing to the Finals is Rebellious Activity! Oh Geeze vs. Vorpal Bunny: Green light to engage! Vorpal Bunny turns just in time to get a hit on Oh Geeze’s corner as they rush towards each other. Oh Geeze gets knocked to the side, as does Vorpal Bunny. Vorpal Bunny turns to narrowly avoid a flip, and instead just gets pushed. Oh Geeze tries to flip again, but Vorpal Bunny goes in and rips off a piece of Oh Geeze’s wedge. Oh Geeze nudges Vorpal Bunny into a corner and gets ready to attack again. Vorpal Bunny gets flipped and pinned quickly. It spins up its blade that’s facing the wall, causing it bounce around and hit the right side of Oh Geeze, denting the side armor. Oh Geeze backs up and tries to get Vorpal Bunny stuck, but only receives another hit, opening up the side of Oh Geeze. Oh Geeze begins smoking, and another hit by Vorpal Bunny knocks it out of the tournament. Winner: Vorpal Bunny, by KO(dismantlement) in 1:30 Tormentor vs. Loud Love: 3, 2, 1, go! Both bots crash against each other at the start of the match. Loud Love thumps Tormentor with its hammers twice, denting its front greatly. Tormentor brings its hammer down, but Loud Love’s just lightly tickled with the arm. Tormentor moves back, and Loud Love turns and flits away before the arm can hit. Loud Love clamps onto the front of Tormentor again, and the rat-a-tat-a-tat of the hammers eventually disable Tormentor entirely. Winner: Loud Love, by KO(dismantlement) in 1:18 The Horney One vs. Sling Shot: All right, it’s the absurdly fast hydraulic lifter vs. the flywheel flipper… and thing start off pretty slowly. The Horney One is advancing very slowly, apparently waiting for Sling Shot to make the first move. Slingshot’s advance is slow as well, but it has the excuse that it takes a couple seconds to spin the flywheel up. And now Sling Shot darts forward, trying to go around the left side of THO. THO spins to face it, but due to its length its turning slides one of its forks sideways onto Sling Shot’s front end. SS flips, and THO is launched sideways, spinning around and landing on its wheels in the red judges-side corner. It tries to drive away, but Sling Shot comes in almost immediately with another flip under THO’s side. This is less powerful since SS hasn’t had time to spin up all the way, but it still makes THO do a 540 and land on its back. It self-rights very quickly, but SS gets in behind it. Before it can flip again though, The Horney One turns away and smacks SS with the forks, but doesn’t manage to get under it. Sling Shot circles The Horney One, but THO manages to back away from an attack and get one fork just barely under the side of Sling Shot. It raises the lifter and overturns Sling Shot, but SS instantly self-rights with the flipper and drives away before THO can get under it. It circles around again, spinning back up, and the bots meet front to front. THO’s forks ride up on top of the exposed lip of SS’s wedge, and – what’s this, The Horney One is pushing Sling Shot backwards! But Slingshot fires the flipper, and THO goes flying halfway across the arena, lands on its back, and skids the rest of the way into the wall. It self-rights, but Sling Shot is already in position. THO’s long body ends up partially on top of Sling Shot. Its drive wheels are off the ground, and now Sling Shot pushes it towards the judges’ side of the arena. THO flails with its lifter, but can’t free itself. SS is trying to maneuver into positon for an OOTA it looks like. It flips! And doesn’t quite get it, THO hits the wall two feet away from the dead zone and crashes to the floor, but that’s still helping Sling Shot’s strategy score with the judges. THO lands on its back. It self-rights, and… parks in front of the dead zone with its weapon facing away from the wall. Is it trying to go for the reverse OOTA again? I thought it was an accident the first time, but maybe not. Sling Shot isn’t taking the bait though; the driver clearly watched the fight with Wyvern and just sits in the middle of the arena, and turns slightly back and forth as if shaking its head. “No, it ain’t happening.” The Horney One gives up on trying to bait Sling Shot and moves away from the dead zone, but still isn’t going on the attack. Sling Shot is driving cautiously, but THO just isn’t willing to take the initiative, and that could cost it if this goes to the judges. Sling Shot tries to drive in at an angle. THO turns to face it, and the forks ride up on top of the sides of Sling Shot, but not the flipper part. Neither can really use their weapon. THO pushes, but Sling Shot just uses its superior speed to back away and try to get around the side of THO. But Sling Shot turns just a little too fast, and lifts one wheel in the air. Another wild pirouette from The Horney One gets its lifter underneath Sling Shot, and it picks it up into the air. It maneuvers, slowly carrying Sling Shot towards the wall, and turns, trying to get the alignment right to ram it into the dead zone, but before it can try Sling Shot fires the flipper to knock itself loose. It lands on its wheels and drives away to spin its flywheel back up before THO can attack. The bots circle for a little more. Sling Shot actually misses with a flip and gets punished for it with THO getting underneath and tossing Sling Shot over its back. But Sling Shot lands on its wheels and quickly moves in to get under the side of THO. It flips, sending the lifter flying onto its back again. THO self-rights, but Sling Shot is waiting for it, and gets in another flip, slamming THO into the wall. It lands propped up on the arena kick plate, and is stuck with its wheels off the ground, but after some made thrashing with the lifter it knocks itself down before it can be counted out. The Horney One still isn’t going on the attack though. It tries to drive around the side of Sling Shot, then gives up and waits with its weapon pointed toward SS. Sling Shot moves in, but THO gets the tip of one fork under the side of its wedge. The bots are close to the dead zone – THO isn’t in position for a reverse OOTA but if it picks Sling Shot up this could still be dangerous. But Sling Shot reverses away at the last moment. The Horney One lifts thin air, and leaves itself vulnerable. Sling Shot darts in again, getting underneath THO’s lifter as it lowers it. For a moment, the long robot is propped up on top of Sling Shot and can’t drive away. It fixes its mistake by raising the lifter again, but Sling Shot has already steered the bots sideways, pointing towards the dead zone. THO tries to back way, but Sling Shot keeps pushing in, too fast for THO to escape. He shoots… AND HE SCORES! The Horney One goes flying out of the arena, and Sling Shot goes through to the final! Your winner, by OOTA in 1:57, is Sling Shot! Hobbyweight Rumble 1: Caldera vs. Do Not Open vs. Bonk! vs. Buzzkill vs. Blood Blister vs. Sirocco Green light to engage! Do Not Open goes to ram into Caldera as Sirocco and Buzzkill square off. Bonk hides in the corner as Blood Blister disappears in a flash of smoke. Caldera dents Do Not Open’s wedge as it gets nudged into the wall. Do Not Open turns to face Bonk!. Caldera tries to follow, but it’s too slow to follow and gets distracted by Sirocco and Buzzkill. Sirocco and Buzzkill are fighting each other on the other side of the arena. Buzzkill tries to get past Sirocco, but the spinner rushes in and nearly hits it every time it moves. Caldera rushes in just as Sirocco hits Buzzkill, sending Buzzkill into Caldera’s blades. Buzzkill is quickly turned to a shell of metal, the first knockout of the match, and Sirocco retreats towards the center with Caldera slowly following. Meanwhile, Bonk! and Do Not Open are fighting. Bonk! is cornered, with no other choice but attack. It rushes at Do Not Open, who similarly rushes in. The bots collide with a bonk, sending Bonk! flying into the wall. Do Not Open rushes into Bonk! again, causing it to smoke. Another hit finishes off Bonk!. Caldera and Sirocco tough it out in the center of the arena. The two crash together for the umpteenth time, sending Sirocco flying. Sirocco’s wheel has its tire ripped off, and Caldera has a dented blade. Caldera rushes in, ready for another hit. Just before Sirocco’s about to be destroyed, Do Not Open hits Caldera and knocks it upside down. Now the only two bots left, Do Not Open and Sirocco, are circling each other. Do Not Open charges at Sirocco, ready for a hit. Sirocco bounces off Do Not Open, denting its blade. Sirocco charges, but it quickly goes off balance due to the dented blade. Do Not Open hits Sirocco again, getting it stuck on top of Caldera. Do Not Open wins! Winner: Do Not Open 2nd place: Sirocco 3rd: Caldera 4th: Bonk! 5th: Buzzkill 6th: Blood Blister Featherweight Rumble 1: Oh Geeze vs. Database vs. Redneck Alimony Payment vs. Hopscotch Pilgrim vs. Blaze vs. Rebellious Activity: All right, time for the first Featherweight Rumble! Rebellious Activity and Oh Geeze start off in the red and blue squares respectively, while Database and Redneck Alimony Payment are on the far side, halfway between the corner and the dead zone, and Hopscotch Pilgrim and Blaze are in the same configuration on the Judges’ side. The buzzer sounds, and the insanity begins! All three spinners start to spin up, and all the wedge-ey bots try to stop them. Database heads for the nearest corner, turning its back on Redneck Alimony Payment, which starts to go for it, but gets rammed by Rebellious Activity and bounces off the wall. Blaze recklessly charges for Database as well, and takes a flip from Oh Geeze that sends it careening into Rebellious Activity instead. Meanwhile, Hopscotch Pilgrim just sort of spins up and heads for the arena center. RAP decides to move in on it, but Oh Geeze gets there first, and HP bounces off its wedge and hockey pucks into the wall. RAP settles for scratching the pain on Oh Geeze’s wedge. Meanwhile – OH! Flying Robots! Somehow Rebellious Activity fed Blaze into Database’s weapon, and it went flying across the arena! Blaze lands upside- down and makes a wild charge at Hopscotch Pilgrim, but is off-center and gets walloped by the melty’s teeth. It gets slammed into the wall with its wedge peeled back. Database is getting hounded by RA and finally tries to leave its corner, RA flips it from the side, but DB’s weapon hits the floor and it self-rights. RA considers going after it again, but has to turn around to keep Redneck Alimony Payment for hitting it from behind. Blaze attacks Database again, but since it’s upside-down it gets launched into the air again. And at this point it’s total nonsense. RA knocks RAP away, and Oh Geeze gets behind RAP and flips it into its back. Hopscotch Pilgrim and Blaze are flying around the arena totally uncontrolled. Finally Oh Geeze and RA actually attack each other, which leaves the undercutter (now an overcutter since it’s upside-down) an opening to attack Database, ripping a big hole in its weapon support. Blaze somehow gets back on its wheels, and careens into RAP. The bots bounce apart, and Rebellious Activity gets tired of Blaze’s bad driving and stuffs it into the wall on its side. Meanwhile, Hopscotch Pilgrim comes drifting towards Database. There’s a massive hit. HP goes flying across the arena, ricocheting off two walls, but Database is eviscerated! The shattered remains of a drive motor and its front frame rail are sprayed across the arena, and it’s sent spinning into the wall. Gyroscopic forces take over, flipping it onto its back, and with the weapon apparently stopped it stays there. Meanwhile, RA shoves Oh Geeze into RAP, and RAP bounces into Blaze, knocking it free again. The other two wedgebots have had enough of its antics though, and they gang up on it. Rebellious Activity rams it into the wall, propped up on its wedges, and Oh Geeze heaves it into the dead zone. Two down. Redneck alimony Payment smacks into Hopscotch Pilgrim, tossing both bots across the arena. Oh Geeze flips HP while it’s spinning back up, but HP is invertible and drifts away again. There’s robots shoving each other around all over the place. RA knocks RAP into the wall and lifts it up onto its side, confident that Oh Geeze is going after the other spinner… but Hopscotch Pilgrim bounces off Oh Geeze’s wedge again, then off the wall, and careens into the vulnerable rear of Rebellious Activity! The rear right corner of the frame is peeled back, and a wheel is ripped off! What a hit! But Rebellious Activity is still running. It releases Redneck Alimony Payment, which flops off the wall and ends up right-side-up again, and goes after Hopscotch Pilgrim for revenge. The mayhem continues, and RAP goes after Hopscotch Pilgrim as well. With the robot’s blade actually working as an undercutter it’s much more dangerous, slipping underneath HP’s chassis. A chunk of wheel goes flying across the arena and HP starts bouncing. RA finishes it off by propping it against the wall on its side, leaving only three robots still functional. After that, Oh Geeze and Rebellious Activity spend the rest of the match flipping and pushing each other around. Redneck Alimony Payment tries to take potshots at them, but can’t do much to Oh Geeze and RA doesn’t let it get another hit to the back. Judges’ Decision: Erm… how the heck do you even call this? All three surviving robots helped get at least one KO. I guess Rebellious Activity sustained the most damage, and RAP caused the most, but wasn’t really controlling the match. Let’s just give this to the crowd. And the crowd goes for… Oh Geeze I’m Terribly Sorry I Didn’t Mean to Flip Your Robot Over! Sportsman Rumble 1: Answering Chord vs. Sling Shot vs. Vice vs. Tormentor vs. Ahlspiess vs. Neon: I really hope everyone who’s in this Rumble RPed, because I’m too lazy to check the fight card to see if that’s not the case ![]() HDiT listed vice and Answering Chord in his RP, so I guess they’re in this? well, if they weren’t they are now! TIME FOR A RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE Slingshot immediately wanders into a corner like a little wimp. Ahlspiess is hell-bent on attacking Tormentor, but much to his misfortune he started next to Neon. Blue comes in from the side and flips him near Slingshot’s corner, so slingshot then flips Ahlspiess. Meanwhile Green and Tormentor are in a stand-off. Tormentor fires his axe but oh! It’s a bit early, and Green manages to flip him. Meanwhile, Answering Chord and Vice are squaring off in a matchup that is extremely lopsided in favor of AC, seeing that Vice can’t even get a good grip on him. Vice is flipped once, then twice, then thrice by the chainsaw as AC pins him and eviscerates his internals. Then blue comes out of nowhere and flips AC up against the wall. His chainsaw kicks him free, and he pursues that half of the cluster, which proceeds to get blindsided by Slingshot, who I guess thinks he’s a house robot now? Answering Chord manages to wedge underneath Slingshot after slingshot flips Blue and grind quite a long gash into his flipping spatula before having to let him go – as soon as he turns away, Slingshot moves out and flips him. Dick move bro. Dick move Meanwhile, Ahlspiess goes back to moving towards the self-righting Tormentor, and once again gets blindsided by part of Neon. It looked like green? He finally reaches tormentor’s side right as Answering chord decides to attack him from the rear. This does jack shit for AC, actually stalling the chainsaw motor, but tormentor has escaped and is pursuing Blue now. Realizing what slingshot is doing, Blue lures Tormentor into his Huh. Didn’t see that coming. Ahlspiess has finally shaken himself off the side of the wall after firing the spike thrice. Slingshot is having trouble moving in a straight line, but time just expired, so he’s still in I guess. Uh, I guess the judges went on break. Crowd vote time! AHLSPIESS! *somewhat loud screaming* NEON! *loud screaming* SLINGSHOT! *less loud screaming* Ok then! NEON IS YOUR WINNER! Edited by Hooray For Lexan, Apr 25 2016, 12:58 PM.
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"you can give a fuck, just don't give too much of a fuck. there's an optimal level of fuckiness, and if you exceed your fuck quota you'll burn out." - BEES Trihunter on V900's New Undercutter: Spoiler: click to toggle
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| Hooray For Lexan | May 1 2016, 06:59 PM Post #10 |
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Heavyweight
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Week 9: Finals All right folks, it's the day you've all been waiting for! The Grand Finals! Hobbyweight Final: Buzzkill vs. Do Not Open Green lights to engage! Both bots rush in at the start of the match, bouncing off each other. Do Not Open rams Buzzkill into the wall, but it doesn’t do much. Buzzkill’s drum hits the wedge, causing it to bounce back. Buzzkill follows this up by ramming Do Not Open into the wall. Do Not Open is fine, though, and gets under Buzzkill’s side. It lifts Buzzkill up, sending it into the wall and slightly denting the wedge. They clash wedges again, and they bounce off instead of one getting under the other. Buzzkill hits Do Not Open with its disc, and Do Not Open rams Buzzkill. This continues for a bit before Do Not Open gets knocked back. It starts to retaliate, but before it can the match ends. Judges' Decision: Damage: Do Not Open 2, Buzzkill 3 Aggression: Do Not Open 3, Buzzkill 2 Strategy: Do Not Open 2, Buzzkill 3 Your winner, by an 8-7 Judges' Decision, and the Bot-O-Rama 2016 Lightweight Champion, is BUZZKILL! Hobbyweight Third Place Playoff: Sirocco vs. Panda Both robots come out with cautious aggression. Sirocco makes a move towards Panda’s wheels, but he turns to protect them, then charges into Sirocco’s blade, ramming him into the wall and pinning him there for however long it is you’re allowed to pin here. He freed, Badnik dashes off and begins to circle Panda once more, waiting for him to make a mistake. But he doesn’t. Of course, he also doesn’t charge Sirocco. After 15 or so seconds of circling one another, Panda finally gets an opening, charging Sirocco into a wall, pinning him again. This time after the pinning, Sirocco manages to sneak in a shot at Panda’s wheel, ripping off some of the foam. Now flopping about a bit, Panda is otherwise fine and continues to prevent Sirocco from getting at his wheels, ramming him once or twice more into walls before Sirocco manages another hit on the same wheel, removing it completely as time expires. Aggression: 3-2 Sirocco Damage: 3-2 Sirocco Strategy: 3-2 Panda Your winner by an 8-7 Judges' Decision, and Bot-O-Rama 2016 Hobbyweight Third Place Winner, is Sirocco! Hobbyweight Rumble 2: Panda vs. Havoc Pigeon vs. Annoying Wasp vs. Bunx vs. Radio Hit vs. Pro: Second Hobbyweight rumble, let’s go! Annoying Wasp starts in the red square, Radio Hit in the blue square, Havoc Pigeon and Panda on the judges’ side, and Pro and Bunx on the far side. As soon as the match starts, all four spinners start spinning up. Pro immediately charges across the arena at Havoc Pigeon, narrowly avoiding Radio Hit’s drum. It slides under the overhead spinner and sends it flying with the flipper almost simultaneously, but Havoc Pigeon tears huge gashes in its top and side in the process. Havoc Pigeon landed on its back though, so that’s one bot down after what, three seconds? Meanwhile, the other four bots go for the arena center and end up in kind of a mess. Annoying Wasp seems to try to back away at the last second, and narrowly avoids having its back ripped open by Bunx. Instead their weapons collide with a shower of white sparks. Panda stuffs Radio Hit into the wall, but quickly releases it and charges into Bunx. Pro goes for Annoying Wasp, which has taken the arena center, but gets blindsided by Radio Hit, which rips off the entire right side of its top cover and flings it into the arena ceiling, where it gets tangled in the lights. Pro itself is tossed across the arena, while Annoying Wasp and Radio Hit go weapon-to-weapon. Pro seems to have lost the right side of its drive, and is limping around the arena. Panda, which had previously pinned Bunx, tried to come in and attack it, but drives right onto Pro’s wedge and gets a tire wedged into the gaping hole where Pro’s top cover used to be. They flail around like this for a while (sorry boys, no unsticks in the rumble!) before Pro finally gets Panda into position, and fires the flipper with enough force to toss Panda into the judge’s side dead zone. Two down. Meanwhile, the spinners have been fighting each other. Radio Hit puts its back wedge to good use, shoving Bunx into the wall and making it hockey puck away and flip itself, but Annoying Wasp’s undercutter tears some nasty gashes first in the metal, then in RH’s side. Bunx finally self-rights, and puts Pro out of its misery with a hit to the rear corner. As soon as it’s back up to speed it charges Annoying Wasp. AW is more concerned with Radio Hit, so Bunx smashes into its back with enough force that its right wheel breaks in half. The undercutter’s bar hits the floor, and it begins spinning and flailing around the arena. Radio Hit takes advantage of this with a hit that sends Annoying Wasp flying through the air. It bounces to the ground still upright, but with its bar bent upwards and lodged in a new gash in its own baseplate. Bunx comes in and smacks the side of Radio Hit, ripping a huge gash in the side panel and sending the drumbot spinning across the arena and flipping itself with its own gyroscopic forces, but RH uses those same forces to self-right. It goes straight for Bunx, and they finally go weapon-to-weapon with an enormous crash. Bunx flies through the air – no, TWO Bunxes fly through the air! The shell clatters to the ground, while the main bot skids upside-down into the corner where Havoc Pigeon has been resting for most of the match. Four down. Unfortunately, Radio Hit has started smoking, and seems to have lost drive on the side Bunx hit. It and Annoying Wasp slowly wobble and circle their way towards each other… slowly… inexorably… don’t leave your seats people, the hit will happen eventually… there it is! The two surviving robots finally meet, and Radio Hit’s drum rips the entire top off of Annoying Wasp and flips it over! Its battery seems to have fallen out, and although the intact wheel is still feebly spinning the robot isn’t moving. It’s counted out, and Radio Hit takes as much of a victory spin as it can with only one working drive motor. How about that, a rumble ended in a KO? Your winner, by knockout in 2:17, is Radio Hit! Featherweight Final: Vorpal Bunny vs. Rebellious Activity Green lights to engage! Rebellious Activity charges Vorpal Bunny as it spins up. Vorpal Bunny spins up just in time to hit Rebellious Activity, who gets knocked back. Vorpal Bunny lifts off the ground and goes gyro, but rights in time to crash against Rebellious Activity again, catching the corner and denting the wedge and lifter. Rebellious Activity pushes Vorpal Bunny into the wall before its blade can get up to speed, but Vorpal Bunny rotates and hits Rebellious Activity’s side, opening up the entire left of the robot. Another rotation pulls out Rebellious Activity’s side, and this match comes to a quick end. Your winner, by knockout in 1:06 and Bot-O-Rama 2016 Featherweight Champion, is Vorpal Bunny! Featherweight Third Place Playoff: Oh Geeze vs. Feathergo All right, this match is for third place in the featherweight division! Oh Geeze immediately goes on the attack, crossing the arena as Feathergo spins up, and going straight for the front. Feathergo’s extremely low and shallow front wedge gets under it though, and Oh Geeze ends up driving straight into the spinning axe! It gets tossed back to the middle of the arena, but lands on its wheels with no visible damage. Feathergo takes advantage of the opportunity to move to the arena center as well. The bots circle, trying to get definitive contact, and after a couple near missed Oh Geeze manages to get under the side of Feathergo. It’s pushing, but not really getting all the way under, and Feathergo’s traction is making it difficult to shove it sideways. Oh Geeze fixes this problem by firing its flipper and scooting underneath Feathergo as it lands, slamming it into the wall on its side. The momentum knocks Feathergo away, and it tumbles back upright. Feathergo drives back away from the wall, but Oh Geeze keeps up the pursuit, and gets its wedge under the front corner of Feathergo. The flipper isn’t quite in place though – Oh Geeze tries to wiggle into position, but that gives Feathergo just enough traction to back away with the wheel that’s touching the ground, and it gets its on wedge under the side of Oh Geeze, and grazes it with the axe, but its weapon glances harmlessly off the sloped armor without even flipping Oh Geeze, which quickly drives itself off the wedge. A bit more circling occurs. Oh Geeze tries to get around the side of Feathergo. Feathergo scrambles to turn in time, and does so, but in the process its right wheel, and the right corner of its wedge, are lifted into the air. Oh Geeze drives right underneath, drives Feathergo straight across the arena into the wall, and flips it. Feathergo lands on the tip of its wedge and actually topples over onto its front. The weapon hits the floor, popping it into the air and back onto its wheels. But now Feathergo is in a bad position: its weapon used up most of its KE hitting the floor, and it looks like it’s upside-down. The weapon starts rapidly spinning down – the driver apparently reversing its direction – but that leaves Feathergo vulnerable. Oh Geeze slips around its side again, getting underneath Feathergo. Once more it pushes Feathergo straight towards the wall, and actually towards the dead zone. Oh Geeze managed to throw Feathergo out back in the group stage – will it happen again? No it won’t. Oh Geeze flips right before reaching the wall, but the angle isn’t quite right. Feathergo hits the wall, lands on its side, and slowly – impeded by the gyroscopic forces of its weapon – starts to roll back onto its wheels. Oh Geeze decides to accelerate the process, getting under Feathergo, pushing it along the wall, and flipping again. And now, Feathergo is on its side in the arena corner, and it doesn’t look like it can move. Its rollbar is on the floor, part of its baseplate is propped up on the arena kickplate, but neither wheel is touching a solid surface. The coefficient of friction of rubber and air is rather low, so Feathergo is stuck! Oh Geeze backs away, not planning on freeing it, and the countdown starts. Feathergo spins its weapon down and reverses it, trying to knock itself free with the reaction torque, but it’s no use. Your winner by knockout in 1:19, and the Bot-O-Rama 2016 Featherweight Third Place Champion, is Oh Geeze I’m Terribly Sorry I Didn’t Mean to Flip Your Robot Over! Featherweight rumble 2: Papercuts vs. Vorpal Bunny vs. Feathergo vs. Hikage vs. Sister Sledge vs. Bolt Thrower Look at all these spinners, my goodness. This is why I entered a brick in this division ![]() The match starts, and Sister sledge immediately rushes the slowest robot. After a quick check of the stats, that means he’s attacking Papercuts. Well he does that, swinging the hammer at the top of Papercuts, and promptly getting it ripped off by papercut’s blade. Meanwhile, multiple robots are running away to hide in corners like pansies. C’mon guys, it’s a rumble! You’re supposed to get destroyed! Meanwhile, Bolt thrower is too busy avoiding things that aren’t there to notice Feathergo sneaking up behind him. The impact takes off a side panel and causes Bolt thrower to do a 360 straight into Papercuts, who eagerly rips some more holes in him until he stops moving. Sister sledge, now sans hammer, is actually quite a bit more agile, not nearly as top-heavy. She goes and attacks the next slowest robot, which could be two different robots. Hikage is a bit closer to her, so we’ll go with that, who is apparently hiding from flippers (I guess he’s afraid that one will just like, materialize in the middle of the arena or something? ).Meanwhile, a dolphin just did materialize from nowhere next to the announcer’s booth. Uh. Ok… I guess maybe Hikage’s fears have some merit to them? Ok back to the action. Looks like sister sledge charged Hikage, pinning it into the wall for a bit, taking some cosmetic scratches to the wedge, but nothing more. Feathergo has decided it’s a good idea to attack Vorpal bunny, ramming into him. THWACK Feathergo is in at least 3 parts across that side of the arena, but Vorpal Bunny has been trapped up on the yellow bumper thing, currently stuck. His driver is trying to use the torque of the blade to free himself… meahwhile, Papercuts has snuck up on the rear end of Sister Sledge as she pins Hikage, knocking away SS. Facing Hikage now, Papercuts charges, whacking into the long flat front of Hikage with the blade before getting knocked up and over by Hikage’s disc, which is now slowing down. So we have an upside down Papercuts and a slightly useless Hikage. Vorpal bunny finally gets free and decides to stop being a little wimp so that the crowd might actually like him when the rumble ends. Sister sledge charges him but over-steers, exposing his side. Vorpal Bunny’s driver appreciates it when his job is made easy, and he rams VB’s blade into the side of Sister sledge, knocking her onto her side as well as taking out quite a large armor chunk. Now it’s down to Hikage and Vorpal Bunny. Without his disc, Hikage approaches VB with the rear shell. Vorpal bunny tries to get around it but can’t, and has to settle for a hit on the shell that unfortunately only causes minimal damage, actually deflecting the blade of VB upwards, forcing him into a gyro-dance. Hikage moves towards VB, trying to pin him against the wall. He does so for a few seconds before time expires. Alright crowd: HIKAGE! a smattering of applause VORPAL BUNNY Louder cheering and a lot of applause Your winner, by crowd vote, is VORPAL BUNNY! Sportsman Final: Loud Love vs. Sling Shot Okay, this one’s for the sportsman championship, and we have yet another rematch! Loud Love immediately charges out from the red square – not particularly quickly though, with its sedate top speed. Sling Shot darts away at an angle and tries to drive around the side of Loud Love. Loud Love though, can actually turn decently well despite its lack of speed since all its weight is on its drive wheels. Sling Shot can’t get the angle it wants. It keeps approaching, then backing away before LL can get a hammer blow in. It seems wary of Loud Love’s hammers, and with good reason since Loud Love beat the stuffing out of it in the group stage. Finally it manages to get around LL’s side, but Loud Love just turns the other way and points its back – which is the same as the front- towards Sling Shot. The robots collide with a loud crash. Both machines fire their weapons, and Loud Love is tossed backwards across the arena, while Sling Shot gets the protruding top edge of its right-side shield bent downwards by a hammer blow. Both machines are still mobile though, and the battle continues. Both are moving cautiously. Sling Shot really wants to avoid Loud Love’s hammers, but Loud Love is staying near the wall on the red square side of the arena, and making it difficult to get behind it. The robots advance and retreat, looking for a weakness. Sling Shot apparently finds one, and rushes in, but Loud Love brings the hammers down, glancing off one of SS’s sloped side shields but still putting a big dent in it. A few seconds later, Sling Shot comes in again and manages to toss it into the corner. LL retreats to the blue side of the arena, and they circle each other again. A couple times LL misses with a hammer blow. Another attempt succeeds, the hammer slamming directly into Sling Shot’s flipper, but it’s undeterred and manages to catch Loud Love right in the wheel assembly, sending it flying into the corner. It lands on its side with enough force to slightly dent one of those domes, but a little flailing brings it down on its wheels again. It’s taken some damage though: the tire on that side has been pushed partway off the rim in that spot, and a little bit of green foam is hanging out. Sling Shot’s top has been dented. Now, from the sound of it it’s still spinning up fine, but they have to be careful; another hit to that spot could warp the top plate until it rubs against the flywheel, and that could cause SS to burn out its weapon motor or even jam the mechanism altogether. Right now both robots are still moving though, and keep up their cautious strategy. Sling Shot gets another flip in, but Loud Love, apparently getting annoyed with the lack of damage done so far, comes right back in and slams the hammer down right on top of Sling Shot’s left side with a sickening crunch. Slingshot retaliates by flipping it away, but it has suffered major damage! Loud Love’s hammer has punched a huge hole straight through the thin garolite top cover, and it looks like there’s smoke coming out of the hole. Loud Love approaches again, looking for the kill, but Sling Shot is still moving. It darts away from the wall. The driver circles once more, and the smoke gets thicker. I think that might be a battery fire! Sling Shot’s driver throws caution to the wind and charges straight into Loud Love, getting under its immense ground clearance. The hammers fall over and over, but Sling Shot’s chassis is short and narrow in the rear, and only the arms are hitting it, the legs pounding harmlessly against the floor. Sling Shot pushes. Loud Love’s huge wheels spin helplessly against the arena floor. They’re dead center of the arena. Sling Shot has Loud Love pointed towards the far side dead zone, but surely it’s too far away. The bots start to move faster, but flames are now coming out of Sling Shot! Any moment the match will be stopped and Loud Love declared the winner – but Sling Shot fires its weapon one last time, and OH MY GOD WHAT A FLIP! Loud Love flies backwards like a dead-center 50 yard field goal kick and soars over the gate from almost halfway across the arena, hitting the back wall of the dead zone with a crash that makes the lexan ripple! Safety marshals and roboteers are scrambling into the arena to extinguish Sling Shot’s burning battery, but it doesn’t matter because it got that last flip in before the match could be stopped! And that means… Your winner by OOTA in 1:39, and BOT-O-RAMA 2016 FEATHERWEIGHT CHAMPION, IS SLING SHOT! Sportsman Third Place Playoff: The Horny One vs Tormentor The match starts and both robots charge towards one another. Tormentor fires the axe but it’s a bit late, the shaft of the weapon hitting THO’s lifter. THO attempts to push Tormentor into hazards as he lifts him. THO’s driver is subsequently confused when he realizes that there are no hazards in the arena. As he stops to re-consider his strategy for a moment, Tormentor escapes. Both robots face off once more, and THO begins to charge Tormentor once more. This time, Playzooki times his swing with the hammer correctly, slamming it down of the front left wheel-pod looking thing, taking out part of The Horny One’s drive. THO gamely continues, managing to limp over and get underneath Tormentor once more as he retracts the hammer, lifting him up and over before he can react. THO tries to get his arm down on top of Tormentor to restrict his self righting – a brilliant idea – but he can’t drive over to Tormentor before he rights himself with another swing of the hammer. THO tries to lift Tormentor again, but doesn’t quite get underneath, lifting air. He tries to face Tormentor as he lowers the lifter, but swinging around that much weight at that high of a speed causes him to over-balance, opening up his side to a swing of the hammer, which tormentor takes with glee. The Horny one is no longer moving. Your winner, by KO in 1:42, is Tormentor! Sportsman Rumble 2: Wyvern vs. Loud Love vs. Hundred Dollar Dustpan vs. DnB vs. Nurse Killjoy vs. The Horney One 3, 2, 1, go! The Horney One and Wyvern ram into each other, ready to claim the title. DnB goes for Nurse Killjoy, but Loud Love intercepts DnB and starts attacking, Nurse Killjoy cowers in the corner. Hundred Dollar Dustpan is not showing up for this tournament; the controller didn’t show up. Wyvern flips The Horney One just as they touch. The Horney One lands on its feet and flips Wyvern, who gets knocked back. Wyvern turns to thwack the Horney One, sending it sprawling. The Horney One gets back up and pushes Wyvern into a corner. Both bots flip at the same time, and Wyvern lands first. It gets under The Horney One, who gets flipped and lands upside down. But it can self-right, and they lock horns again. At the same time, DnB is getting hammered by Loud Love. Loud Love is on the side of DnB, so DnB is struggling to turn. Loud Love gets a few hits on DnB before it turns, sending its hammer into Loud Love and knocking it back. Loud Love follows it up with a hit on DnB’s hammer handle, causing it to dent. DnB prepares for another hit, and… its hammer gets stuck! Loud Love presses this advantage and hammers DnB again, causing it to stop moving and smoke instead. DnB is the first robot out of the rumble. Loud Love, ready for more blood, prepares for another kill – Nurse Killjoy. Like last time, it gets right up against Nurse Killjoy and starts thumping against Nurse Killjoy’s armor. Luckily, Nurse Killjoy manages to get away after two hits(although its wedge is definitely unusable now). Meanwhile, The Horney One and Wyvern are both battle-scarred. Wyvern has a dented thwack tail, and The Horney One has lost its entire left side armor and wheels. Wyvern goes in for one more hit, and The Horney One can’t take it anymore. Wyvern turns to use its tail, and pulls out a section of The Horney One’s electronics. The Horney One stops moving, and it’s counted out. Wyvern rushes towards Nurse Killjoy, with Loud Love converging on the two. Folks, Nurse Killjoy is stuck between a rock and a hard place, where both of the two obstacles can kill a human. Both bots hit Nurse Killjoy at the same time, and it just sort of shatters. Nurse Killjoy gets turned into a broken pile of junk that is also being flipped. Now Wyvern and Loud Love, the only two remaining bots, get ready to kill. Loud Love thumps Wyvern just before getting flipped, denting Wyvern’s flipped and sending Loud Love flying. It lands just in time to get nudged by the thwack tail, and hits it, causing it to dent beyond use. Wyvern flips Loud Love twice, causing one wheel to stop working. Loud Love turns to avoid a thwack, but gets nudged around. A few more thwacks disable the other wheel. 1st place: Wyvern 2nd place: Loud Love 3rd place: Nurse Killjoy 4th place: The Horney One 5th place: DnB 6th place: Hundred Dollar Dustpan |
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9:24 AM Jul 11
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. I’ll also clarify this here, both for those reading and for the other writers, because I don’t know if we all saw this, but it was discussed by a bunch of in Skype that Sirocco’s non-rotational speed is weapon divided by traction, so 6.5. I will be operating under this assumption, and you all should to for consistency’s sake 




9:24 AM Jul 11