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Blonde jokes!; No offence intended
Topic Started: May 13 2009, 08:21 PM (742 Views)
GirlzRule
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"Randomness is my middle name" "I thought it was Cornelius?" "Whatever."
We've all heard a blonde joke at least once, right? Post em here! I'll start us out!

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.
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kitty4761
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I don't need zest. I need you out of my lampshade.

A blonde heard on the news that two Brazilian men were killed. she was very upset by this and asked through her tears, "how many millions is a Brazilian?"
Violence is never the answer. The correct answer was seven.
If you see something you like on my scroll that I can breed for you, just ask!! :D
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Posted ImageLUNA
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in ur kitchen, eating ur cookies

omg you've probably all heard this one before, but it made me laugh so much when I heard it XD


A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."
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GirlzRule
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"Randomness is my middle name" "I thought it was Cornelius?" "Whatever."
Once, three girls decided to escape from jail. They were a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. The brunette opened the gate and they all ran for it. The redhead heard the cops coming and shouted

"Hide in the barn!"
So they did. The cops were getting closer, so they all jumped into potato sacks and hid. The cops came and kicked the first potato sack.
"Meow!" said the redhead.
"It's just a damn cat," the officer said, and kicked the next one.
"Woof!" said the brunette.
"Just a damn dog," he said, and kicked the third sack.
Slowly, the blonde said "Po-ta-toes."

There's another version where the redhead hides in a pack of dogs and the brunette hides in a pack of cats and the blonde hides in a cabbage field and says "photosynthesis" but I don't believe blondes even know what means.
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REVENGE!
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I WONDER if you ever lie awake in bed and THINK about the THINGS you SAID~Staind

LOLZ
Here we go...*thinking*

A blond, brunette, and redhead are stuck on an island.
The redhead swims a quarter, gets tired, and swims back.
The brunette swims a third, gets tired, and swims back.
The blond swims halfway, gets tired, and swims back.

It's not funny...but, the blond could have swam the rest of the way. XD
Edited by REVENGE!, May 15 2009, 08:54 PM.
This is still Moonlit Fang.
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GirlzRule
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"Randomness is my middle name" "I thought it was Cornelius?" "Whatever."
oooh I have another version of that.

Three best friends were stuck on a desert island. They were a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. One day the brunette finds a magic lamp. She rubs it and a genie comes out.
"I will grant you each one wish"
"I wish I was home" said the brunette
"I wish I was home" said the redhead
"I'm lonely now. I wish my friends were back" says the blonde.
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REVENGE!
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I WONDER if you ever lie awake in bed and THINK about the THINGS you SAID~Staind

XD
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This is still Moonlit Fang.
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GirlzRule
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"Randomness is my middle name" "I thought it was Cornelius?" "Whatever."
coolblondejokes.com
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newfood
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An invention to save food resources, it is called... "Newfood"
I gotz one! But i actually do know a blonde who is the smartest person in my class, why she has to be stereotype breaker... Awell, here it is...

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."
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REVENGE!
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I WONDER if you ever lie awake in bed and THINK about the THINGS you SAID~Staind

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"





There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
Edited by REVENGE!, May 25 2009, 06:21 PM.
This is still Moonlit Fang.
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