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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 10 2009, 05:17 AM (121 Views) | |
| KaigenHenshi | Jan 10 2009, 05:17 AM Post #1 |
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super duper
Edited by KaigenHenshi, Apr 9 2009, 11:42 AM.
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Heroic Genesis Jackie Estacado Bleach: Dark Revenant Dyo Kagoshima- Halibel's Fraccion Ganryu Kuchiki- Leader of the Dark Ones Bleach: Dawn to Dusk Dyo Kagoshima- la Primera Espada Kaigen Henshi- Eighth Division Lieutenant Eragon: The Rise of Darkness Xael Lilthanon/Namias- Elf Elder Dragon Rider Bleach: Apocalypse Aizen Sosuke Inuyasha: The Feudal Era Sesshomaru | |
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| TFE Magnus | Jan 10 2009, 03:59 PM Post #2 |
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Negro please.
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A pretty nice profile. It's nitpicking, but I'd prefer if "and condenses it far beyond that of any cero" was toned down to something like "and condenses it to a blast stronger than most ceros" or something. Just something less definite and godly, Dyo's not even an Espada, I'm sure any Espada's cero or gran ray cero especially would be stronger. ![]() Also HeirroGuryu is far too powerful. So his natural speed makes him unimaginably able to dodge all attacks with little conflict and his armor means that even if they'd hit he's impenetrable. I'd expect the con of reduced speed for such major armor, but apparently he gains godly speed and protection. Yay. Try to keep your abilities more I'm a Fraccion and less I'm the 1st Espada, the current dilemma being that they're too far skewed towards the latter at the moment. |
| [RPGData:30|1|30|30|15|15|27|11|Fire Sword|Warrior Armor|Necromancer|0|None|None|0|0|0|0|None|1|None|The Klu Klux Klan] | |
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| KaigenHenshi | Jan 10 2009, 05:15 PM Post #3 |
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Woo! Well I expected those concerns to come up. This profile was really just a shot in the dark. Dyo is actually a base character idea I've had for a while so I figured a little refining would be in order. Thank you for the constructive criticism. Looking at the profile now I can understand the issues, I really didn't explain his Guryu properly in regards to the speed. I should have described it more as a flat out speed in terms of "Oh you're two hundred yards infront of me....*poof* not anymore! :insert cliche evil arrancar laugh here:" and it not be something practical like, "Oh you attack me with a series of complexed attacks and I dodge them all!" But that was my tid bit of mistake. That is the purpose of admin approval and criticism after all. ![]() Now that I've adressed the Goryu a bit better in terms of speed there's something more to the weakness of the armor itself so I'll explain it. I described the armor as chitin plating. As everyone knows chitin armor is great. Its solid, has jointed armor plating for less constricted movement and its typically lighter than solid plate. However its weakness is its strength. Given a simple adjustment of one's attack strategy you could simply shift your blade and pierce at an upward angle BENEATH the plating and skewer him inside his armor. So in terms of Espada level Heirro its not even nearly at their level if you look at it properly. His armor is great when he's fighting someone who just wants to hack and slash, but get someone smart enough to stab in a complexed series of movement, taking advantage of his still constricted movement then in theory its an easy win. As for his Enjouryu that one was my bad too. I used the wrong descriptive terms. Of course when I was writing it out I was on about two hours of sleep and up at 4am. My fault still but I ask ya bare with me here.The basic function of Enjouryu is the condensing and fusion of cero with a highly combustable natural chemical that creates something similiar to a napalm effect. So think of it like a cero with spread shot and a few second burn to it afterwards. Like I said, I used wrong descriptive terms so I apologize. Bleh, I hate over powered characters I really do so I hope you don't think I'm one of those noobie "I'm gonna make the most uber powerfull guy ever!" Now if after this proper description you'd still like to see his direct speed toned down that's no big deal.
Edited by KaigenHenshi, Jan 10 2009, 05:23 PM.
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Heroic Genesis Jackie Estacado Bleach: Dark Revenant Dyo Kagoshima- Halibel's Fraccion Ganryu Kuchiki- Leader of the Dark Ones Bleach: Dawn to Dusk Dyo Kagoshima- la Primera Espada Kaigen Henshi- Eighth Division Lieutenant Eragon: The Rise of Darkness Xael Lilthanon/Namias- Elf Elder Dragon Rider Bleach: Apocalypse Aizen Sosuke Inuyasha: The Feudal Era Sesshomaru | |
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| TFE Magnus | Jan 10 2009, 05:21 PM Post #4 |
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Negro please.
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I understand, I don't mind it giving an increase in speed as long as you tone down your words, you can say it gives an increase in speed but not "natural speed and strength rise to an unimaginable level, making nearly any passing attack easily dodged or deflected with little conflict". You get what I mean by how you describe it? I don't mind simple increases in speed and strength, but the way you describe things is far too overpowered, talking about how he can easily dodge or deflect anything and how it's "unimaginable". Same with his chitin armor, if you can explain it to me, put in the explanation of that weakness in its structure and form. Same with Enjouryu, I don't mind it either, as long as you also fix your description and qualify what it really is rather than saying it's stronger than any cero ever which wouldn't be true. My essential point is your descriptions are overpowered but not the potential powers themselves. Fundamentally do I have problems with a chitin armor that increases speed and strength and an attack that condenses and spread shots? Not at all, but I have a problem with the way you've described them as unimaginably powerful and this and that exaggeration.
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| [RPGData:30|1|30|30|15|15|27|11|Fire Sword|Warrior Armor|Necromancer|0|None|None|0|0|0|0|None|1|None|The Klu Klux Klan] | |
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| KaigenHenshi | Jan 10 2009, 05:25 PM Post #5 |
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I got ya bud. Just give me a few and I'll edit the descriptions for his abilities and all that jazz. (Yeah I know, I talk funny) I think my creative descriptive skills started going down the drain when I did his bio.
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Heroic Genesis Jackie Estacado Bleach: Dark Revenant Dyo Kagoshima- Halibel's Fraccion Ganryu Kuchiki- Leader of the Dark Ones Bleach: Dawn to Dusk Dyo Kagoshima- la Primera Espada Kaigen Henshi- Eighth Division Lieutenant Eragon: The Rise of Darkness Xael Lilthanon/Namias- Elf Elder Dragon Rider Bleach: Apocalypse Aizen Sosuke Inuyasha: The Feudal Era Sesshomaru | |
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| TFE Magnus | Jan 10 2009, 05:27 PM Post #6 |
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Negro please.
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Cool, and like I said, otherwise this profile looks great. Once you're done, just reply to this thread saying so so I know to stop by and approve.
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| [RPGData:30|1|30|30|15|15|27|11|Fire Sword|Warrior Armor|Necromancer|0|None|None|0|0|0|0|None|1|None|The Klu Klux Klan] | |
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| KaigenHenshi | Jan 10 2009, 05:33 PM Post #7 |
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Alright I think we're good to go. I realized that the GuryuHeirro you were talking about was actually a typo on my part. I must have accidentally forgotten to remove that bit from my primary draft when I posted the first time.
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Heroic Genesis Jackie Estacado Bleach: Dark Revenant Dyo Kagoshima- Halibel's Fraccion Ganryu Kuchiki- Leader of the Dark Ones Bleach: Dawn to Dusk Dyo Kagoshima- la Primera Espada Kaigen Henshi- Eighth Division Lieutenant Eragon: The Rise of Darkness Xael Lilthanon/Namias- Elf Elder Dragon Rider Bleach: Apocalypse Aizen Sosuke Inuyasha: The Feudal Era Sesshomaru | |
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| TFE Magnus | Jan 10 2009, 05:41 PM Post #8 |
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Negro please.
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Approved, keep in mind guys and gals, you may have three characters in total, with a limit of two canon characters out of that and a limit of one MAJOR canon character. So if you already took one major canon character your next character has to be an original or a minor canon character. I'll be the judge of what canons are major and minor, but common sense makes it obvious. Captains, major characters, faction leaders, Espada, etc., are all major canons. Do check out the Canon List and consider some stuff before the good characters are taken.
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| [RPGData:30|1|30|30|15|15|27|11|Fire Sword|Warrior Armor|Necromancer|0|None|None|0|0|0|0|None|1|None|The Klu Klux Klan] | |
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My fault still but I ask ya bare with me here.

6:01 AM Jul 11
