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Catholic Marriage to a Protestant?; Is it legitimate in the Catholic Church?
Topic Started: Wednesday, 2. May 2012, 21:48 (993 Views)
pentinent

Hi, I have a question regarding my marriage. Years ago, I was married to my wife in her church which was Protestant.
I am a Catholic. Then I went to speak to the priest where I usually attended Mass regaring a Catholic wedding.He
said wait 6 months and come back and if my wife attended RCIA classes, he would perform a simple ceremony w/ our 2 witnesses.Six months later we did that.He performed a Catholic ceremony.
My question is: Are we really married in the eyes of the Church? We have had 2 children which were raised Catholic. My wife never converted to Catholicism. Prior to the "second" marriage another priest was asked but refused saying we would be living in adultry.
Pleaseanswer my question as I'm not certain where i stand.
Thanks. Pentinent
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Home in Rome
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pentinent
Wednesday, 2. May 2012, 21:48
Hi, I have a question regarding my marriage. Years ago, I was married to my wife in her church which was Protestant.
I am a Catholic. Then I went to speak to the priest where I usually attended Mass regaring a Catholic wedding.He
said wait 6 months and come back and if my wife attended RCIA classes, he would perform a simple ceremony w/ our 2 witnesses.Six months later we did that.He performed a Catholic ceremony.
My question is: Are we really married in the eyes of the Church? We have had 2 children which were raised Catholic. My wife never converted to Catholicism. Prior to the "second" marriage another priest was asked but refused saying we would be living in adultry.
Pleaseanswer my question as I'm not certain where i stand.
Thanks. Pentinent
While your first marriage wasn't regarded as sacramental in the eyes of the Catholic Church, now that your priest has 'convalidated' your marriage, yes, your marriage is sacramental and is fully valid in the Catholic Church.
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Emee
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pentinent

I am a Catholic. My husband is non practicising CofE.

Canon Law advises that while we do recognise Anglican weddings as perfectly valid for Anglicans (yes we really do recognise the Baptism and the Marriage Rites in the CofE), a Catholic marrying an Anglican or someone of any other Christian denomination in their own church does not - as Rome bound correctly states - have a Sacramental marriage.

I was in this situation - to be fair no one in my own Church had explained this to me and although I was a Christian at the time I wasn't a full practicising Catholic - only going now and again and also attending other churches. I thought as long as one married in a Christian church there was no issue.

It was only years later when I returned to the full practice of my faith that someone explained that though I was married in the eyes of the State / the law I wasn't sacramentally married, so I underwent a "Sanatio" which was basically the process of getting my marriage convalidated in the eyes of the Catholic Church. There wasn't really anything to it; just a bit of form filling in really. But it did leave me feeling a bit cheated, especially as my husband can't really see the difference between the two Churches and didn't really see the point of it all. In his eyes he has been validly married since the marriage in his CofE church 25 years ago this October. And why should he think any otherwise? That is his church.

I think for a Priest to refuse to marry you and say you would be living in adultery and not try to give you any solution whatsoever is absolutely terrible. So he would rather have left you in a state of half-marriage? I really feel that is not good enough and he shouldn't be saying such things. If he had validly married you after you asked of course you wouldn't be living in adultery - so he could so easily have rectified any question about your marital status in the eyes of God, but didn't! I think that's terrible to be honest, unless of course he wasn't fully understanding the situation and thought you were asking him if it was ok if you married in a Christian church of another denomination. Then his answer might make a sense of sorts.

Rome bound is absolutely right in that your second marriage is fully valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church. There are instances where even Catholic marriages have been found to be null and void and an annulment has been granted, but given that you two were so keen to rectify an uncertainty, and therefore seem fully commited to each other, I would say that criteria certainly doesn't apply to your marriage! ;)
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Rose of York
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pentinent
Wednesday, 2. May 2012, 21:48
Hi, I have a question regarding my marriage. Years ago, I was married to my wife in her church which was Protestant.
I am a Catholic. Then I went to speak to the priest where I usually attended Mass regaring a Catholic wedding.He
said wait 6 months and come back and if my wife attended RCIA classes, he would perform a simple ceremony w/ our 2 witnesses.Six months later we did that.He performed a Catholic ceremony.
It is not essential for a protestant marrying a Catholic, to attend RCIA. It may have been that your priest thought it would be a good idea for her to attend, so she would deepen her understanding of your faith, whilst continuing to practise her own. Are you sure it was RCIA and not the Marriage Preparation Course?
Keep the Faith!

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Deleted User
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Rome Bound and Emee give the formal official position very accurately but in practice no one bothers about this sort of thing any more and marriages wherever conducted are in effect recognised by Catholics if the state regards the couple as married. Another instance where the people have moved while the rules have failed to keep pace.

John
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Deacon Robert
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John, you contradict yourself. It is not Catholics only, it is the church recognizes any valid marriage whether secular or religious. Maybe your perception of church teaching needs to move forward.
The burden of life is from ourselves, its lightness from the grace of Christ and the love of God. - William Bernard Ullanthorne

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Rose of York
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John Sweeney
Wednesday, 2. May 2012, 23:21
Rome Bound and Emee give the formal official position very accurately but in practice no one bothers about this sort of thing any more and marriages wherever conducted are in effect recognised by Catholics if the state regards the couple as married. Another instance where the people have moved while the rules have failed to keep pace.

John
John you are in no position to say "no one" bothers with "this sort of thing" any more. I hope you do not include me. Sacramental marriage, witnessed by a Catholic priest, is essential for a Catholic. I will not be included in your inaccurate generalisation. I bother with this sort of thing.

Christ instituted the Sacrament of Matrimony. The Sacrament is no concern of the State. The State oversees marriage purely for civil purposes, to comply with State legislation.

If I sound angry, it is because I am. Please do not degrade the importance of the SACRAMENT my husband I administered to each other, making solemn vows, nearly half a century ago.

Penitent came on here seeking advice about the official Church position.

There is no reason why the Church founded and given authority by God the Son should keep pace with the opinions and practices of the multitude. If we go down that route, it could lead to an attitude of "society approves of abortion, so it must be morally acceptable, it is time the Church caught up with the opinions of a large number of people. The teachings of Christ's Church are dictated to by God, not Joe Blogs and his friends and family.

The Catholic Church acknowledges that a marriage conducted between two persons, neither of whom is a Catholic, as valid provided both are free to marry. In most cases that means that neither is still, in the eyes of the Church, still married to a person still alive from whom they have been divorced, both parties are of or above the required minimum age, and they are not close family members of God parent and God child.

Rose
CATHOLIC AND PROUD OF IT.
Keep the Faith!

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Gerard

pentinent
Wednesday, 2. May 2012, 21:48
Six months later we did that.He performed a Catholic ceremony.
My question is: Are we really married in the eyes of the Church?

Pentinent
YES

Gerry
"The institutional and charismatic aspects are quasi coessential to the Church's constitution" (Pope John Paul II, 1998).
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Gerard

All,

Is it the case that pentinent was married in the eyes of the catholic church already even before the catholic ceremony?

Gerry
"The institutional and charismatic aspects are quasi coessential to the Church's constitution" (Pope John Paul II, 1998).
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valleyboy

New poster here, hello everyone. I recently returned to the church after decades away, attend mass regularly and receive communion and confession. In my time away I married a non-Catholic, was married in a CofE church and lead a secular life, raising two children, neither of whom were baptised (remember I wasn't a member of the church) who now have their own opinions on such things.
My wife is a bright woman (a senior academic) who supports my return to the church while insisting it is not her church and is well versed in catholic and protestant apologetics. Discussions end with polite disagreement and I'm certainly not going down the route of coercion and psychological pressure my mother subjected me to and which shaped my view of the church for so long. Does this outlook make me a bad catholic?
Liberal, ecumenical, universal and it's my church too.
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Gerard

It makes you a good catholic.

Quote:
 
1 Peter 3:1
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,


Applies equally to husbands.

Gerry
"The institutional and charismatic aspects are quasi coessential to the Church's constitution" (Pope John Paul II, 1998).
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valleyboy

Nice quote Gerry, much appreciated.
Liberal, ecumenical, universal and it's my church too.
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Angus Toanimo
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Gerard
Thursday, 3. May 2012, 09:50
All,

Is it the case that pentinent was married in the eyes of the catholic church already even before the catholic ceremony?

Gerry
I'm not sure, after reading this....
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Rose of York
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valleyboy
Thursday, 3. May 2012, 10:21
My wife is a bright woman (a senior academic) who supports my return to the church while insisting it is not her church and is well versed in catholic and protestant apologetics. Discussions end with polite disagreement and I'm certainly not going down the route of coercion and psychological pressure my mother subjected me to and which shaped my view of the church for so long. Does this outlook make me a bad catholic?
If you were a Catholic who pressured his wife into formally adopting his religion even if she does not believe in it, that would be wrong. You acknowledge her right to use her own brain and make her decision. You respect her, that is good.
Keep the Faith!

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Gerard

Angus Toanimo
Thursday, 3. May 2012, 12:45
Gerard
Thursday, 3. May 2012, 09:50
All,

Is it the case that pentinent was married in the eyes of the catholic church already even before the catholic ceremony?

Gerry
I'm not sure, after reading this....
That is not relevant.
I asked were they "married in the eyes of the church"
Since spouses marry each other my suspicion is that they are married but I do not know what the ultra fine detail of catholic rules say.

Gerry
"The institutional and charismatic aspects are quasi coessential to the Church's constitution" (Pope John Paul II, 1998).
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