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Lonely Catholics
Topic Started: Wednesday, 8. October 2008, 12:56 (570 Views)
Rose of York
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Em.
Thursday, 28. May 2009, 13:48
Then there are those who can do with company of others. Then the church herself can organise fora small fee make a mini bus available to take old people on a short outing on a Sunday afternon.
Why have an outing for OLD people? All that does is perpetuate the image of age and dependance automatically going hand in hand, and no young people lonely or depressed. It is more natural for the generations to mix together.

I wouldn't thank anybody for an invitation to "outing and tea for the old people". On the other hand, if there was a parish social event for all, I would be there. In my youth I accepted lifts when we had no car.

It is noteworthy that old peoples' outings are always tea, salad and cakes, not five course meal with wine, and fully licensed bar.
:exclaim:

When it comes to paying for events, the young families are, in general, the poorest in our parishes, because from their higher gross income they pay for mortgages and raise children, often on one wage.
Keep the Faith!

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Em.

Rose

Generations will neer mix together and I don't understand why not. Old people have the tendency of 1) patronising the young, by saying "we have done it before" or "it is an old hat" "We have fought the war for you." and young people get fed up of that attitude.

Having said that, it came to light that the same neglect is in America, England and France.

How sad!
Divine Mercy
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Rose of York
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Two topics were muddled on here.

I've split it. This one is for a very important subject, our lonely Catholics.

The postings about a web based Outreach to Isolated Catholics (whether or not they are lonely) is here:

http://s10.zetaboards.com/Catholic_CyberForum/topic/7139975/4/#new
Keep the Faith!

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Rose of York
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Em.
Thursday, 28. May 2009, 13:48
Allow me to go back in time, when I first arrived and happily sold my soul to this country. People used to talk to each other over the garden fence, and when one was ill there was always someone to pop in with a "cuppa." Now, she fence has been replaced with one 8ft high, your neighbour talks in a different tongue, your church calls on you once a year to collect whatver you care to donate.

Does this make sense to you? If it does not, then you are a young person and if you agree you will be nodding like that dog in the back window of a car.


Em, your post has been bugging me. Do you really think all young people are callous, and all old people are sweet and gracious? It is not uncommon to see a young man or woman offering to lift heavy objects for old, or for young sick or disabled people. I know pensioners who won't say Good Morning to anybody! The sixties football hooligans are now pensioners. Did they all turn sweet and gentle the day they retired? Considerate youngsters tend to get kinder and gentler with the years. It may be that the nasty person gets nastier as the years go by.

Age is no barrier to any form of behaviour, desirable or undesirable, or to debilitating ill health or loneliness. The young person going to work in the city may look ok, but could be desperately lonely.

Two reason people tend not to know their neighbours are the changes in transport and retail. People used to move house and meet their new neighours at the bus stop, or queueing in the local shop, and sometimes, by walking to work, or sports events. Now, the residents of a row of houses all leave at different times, and get into their cars, they may never have an opportunity to meet. It is the same in a parish, the days have gone when parishioners met up walking home after Mass.

I don't think many people opt out of caring for others, it is just that the neighbourhood is no longer the obvious place for forming friendships.
Keep the Faith!

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Derekap
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Very well expressed Rose and very true.

Em. In some cases the the garden fence has been replaced by an ever- growing Leylandii hedge up to probably 4 metres high.



Edited by Derekap, Monday, 1. June 2009, 20:06.
Derekap
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PJD

It's a good job Derek hasn't got a wind turbine in front of him!

Two reason people tend not to know their neighbours are the changes in transport

Some improvement for OAP's since free bus travel. You get chatting to the locals travelling local. As a rule I find the young very polite - and their fares even at half price are enormous. Older groups generally tend to fall into two categories; the selfish and the good.

As for Church - the powers that be seem to think we all have cars.

PJD
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Rose of York
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PJD
Monday, 1. June 2009, 22:05
As for Church - the powers that be seem to think we all have cars.
A Vicar General, addressing parishioners with a veiled thread of church closure and resultant necessity to travel a long way to Mass, had the cheek to say "Everybody has a car" and "you all go to Tesco" (fifteen miles away). He got his answers, that many elderly widows never learned to drive, some have given up driving, few teenagers still at school can afford cars, a few people do not want to drive cars, and Tesco online is popular. The wise Very Reverend Father asked "What is Tesco Online". The parish priest said if the nearest Mass was fifty miles away he would be there. Answer from the back of the room "If you were 88 and couldn't drive any more and had one bus a week, you'd need to set off one Wednesday and come back the next".
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Rose of York
Monday, 1. June 2009, 22:21
The parish priest said if the nearest Mass was fifty miles away he would be there.

With an answer like that I suspect many of his parshioners wished he was fifty miles away. :rofl: The question I would ask him is why not stay still and say mass where you are.
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Rose of York
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Someone did ask him why, if he was here, the nearest Mass would be somewhere else. Another person told him, HE does not need to travel to where a priest is.
Keep the Faith!

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Bob Crowley

Getting off the topic a bit, I was wandering through the local shopping centre the other day, and my eye fell on a fairly overweight bloke, not very old (30's maybe) sitting at a food kiosk table by himself. He looked lonely. I didn't say anything to him at the time (a bit hypocritical maybe, although he was probably twenty yards away), but it made me think there must be a lot of lonely people out there, who are probably not associated with a church.

It set me to wondering what the church could do as an outreach. It's one thing to visit people in their homes (usually the elderly and shut-ins), but there must be some way of getting these people involved with the church also, without shoving religion down their throat. We have a "Care and Concern" outreach, but it seems more to do with the elderly as a rule. I was thinking along the lines of a more social, active group.
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Rose of York
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Bob Crowley
Tuesday, 2. June 2009, 12:55
It set me to wondering what the church could do as an outreach. It's one thing to visit people in their homes (usually the elderly and shut-ins), but there must be some way of getting these people involved with the church also, without shoving religion down their throat. We have a "Care and Concern" outreach, but it seems more to do with the elderly as a rule. I was thinking along the lines of a more social, active group.
Eight Methodist churches within a few miles of our home were struggling financially. They sold all eight, and used the proceeds for a brand new one, and a couple of mini buses.

Once a week, they open up their hall for coffee and chat. Once a month they have an evening dinner, with simple menu, to keep it affordable. The mini buses collect people who have no transport. The few who are unable to get onto the mini buses are collected by car. Church attendance has shot up.
Keep the Faith!

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Josephine
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You might like to add to your list for consideration, those who care for the elderly, or shut-ins as you call them.

These "carers" are often quite lonely themselves even though they get out for shopping, etc.

Providing companionship for the person they care for, just for a few hours, would free the "carer" to do something that person would like to do but usually would be prevented from by their duties/nature of their responsibilities.

Those few hours of respite may mean they could visit an exhibition, theatre, stately home, concert, local park, country walk or their own friends freely.

Two people helped in kind act.


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Rose of York
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Josephine
Wednesday, 3. June 2009, 15:54
Providing companionship for the person they care for, just for a few hours, would free the "carer" to do something that person would like to do but usually would be prevented from by their duties/nature of their responsibilities.

Those few hours of respite may mean they could visit an exhibition, theatre, stately home, concert, local park, country walk or their own friends freely.

Two people helped in kind act.


Carers tend to be forgotten, Jpsephine. May I expand upon your suggestion?

Some carers are able to get out from time to time, but other people assume they cannot, so give up including them. It could be a kindness to phone and invite them, perhaps saying "would you like a trip out? Where shall we go"?

For a carer who cannot leave the loved one unattended, one person could take over the watching responsibility in the home and another could go out with the carer.
Keep the Faith!

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