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Lonely Catholics
Topic Started: Wednesday, 8. October 2008, 12:56 (573 Views)
pat
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patients are asked their religion on admission, but are not often asked if they would like to see their particular minister of religion - it largely depends on the nurse booking them in. I am part of a small team of Legion of Mary members who visit a hospital with a large number of elderly patients who are in for a long time. Sometimes the relatives request a visit, or a sympathetic nurse will do so. It seems to be easier for Anglican patients to get a visit because the C of E vicar is frequently on the premises (there is no on-site chapel).
We have to be invited to visit a named person, and often go to find out that person has been in hospital for weeks already. It is very sad to see someone so grateful for a visit from a complete stranger, their own visitors being so infrequent. We have built up a good rapport with the people we see, and a friendly Catholic nurse sometimes tips us off when she gets a Catholic patient in her ward.
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Rose of York
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I suggest, that when seeing a lone Catholic in church, or in a parish hall, it is helpful to make eye contact, smile, make some form of greeting, "isn't it freezing cold today" is non threatening. That gives the person an opportunity to choose, whether to make a brief reply, or to get into conversation.

The last thing I want is a booted and suited Lady of the Guild of the Green Cardigan barging up to me and following set procedures as demonstrated on some "Welcomers Information Video Presentation". Just a friendly gesture is sufficient, it can lead to a lifelone friendship, or at the very least, to the lone Catholic meeting one person, and through that person, meeting others, and eventually being actively involved if that is what they require.
Keep the Faith!

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Em.

In responce th Joseph Dylong, I ought to make it clear that hospitals know in advance what your relifious inclination is, but it is upto you to request him to come to your bed, Iknow this first hand.
Divine Mercy
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Phil_sfo

An in-law's cousin was fairly recently admitted to hospital with pancreatic cancer on a Thursday afternoon. He has since died. RIP, but I heard on the Saturday that he hadn't seen a priest despite asking for one. I looked up the Western Calendar (Scotland) and emailed the priest in the church nearest to the hospital in question and asked that he contact the chaplain or visit himself. He did both.
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Deleted User
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I suppose I'm in the category you describe Rose although I had never before thought of myself in that light. When I go to Mass I am perfectly happy if the whole visit to Church is marked by only the occasional nod or smile to acquaintances. The quiet and solitude are welcome. However, if I do meet people and a longer conversation develops I am quite happy with that too.

John
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Rose of York
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John Sweeney
Friday, 10. October 2008, 13:10
I suppose I'm in the category you describe Rose although I had never before thought of myself in that light. When I go to Mass I am perfectly happy if the whole visit to Church is marked by only the occasional nod or smile to acquaintances. The quiet and solitude are welcome. However, if I do meet people and a longer conversation develops I am quite happy with that too.

John
John, I feel the same way, in a church where I am known. The last thing I want is yap, yap, yap immediately before, during or immediately after Mass. That can wait until I join others for coffee. It is the house movers I am concerned about. A new person moves into a parish. That person may want to restrict activity to attending Mass, may be unable to be actively involved. Another person could feel the need to make Catholic friends, may have talents and experience to offer, or might just like to join in with a group of other people, making coffee, painting the fence, to have a sense of belonging. If we don't get to know them we could be condemning them to loneliness.
Keep the Faith!

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Rose of York
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Universalis is a useful site for Catholics who feel cut off, particurly those who are unable to get out at all, people whose commitments prevent them getting to church mid week, or those like me, whose local chapels of ease open only on Sundays.

Universalis

By clicking on that link you are automatically taken to Prayer of the Church (Daily Office) for the calendar date.

http://www.universalis.com/England.Westminster/liturgy-index.htm explains how to use the daily liturgy.

An excellent resource! If you cannot get to church, you can at least unite yourself with the whole Church, worldwide, in reciting the Prayer of the Church.
Keep the Faith!

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Paduan
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Am I right in saying that one is only expected to travel up to 7 miles to get to Mass?

If I am, then that makes Mass beyond the range of people living in large parts of the country, especially Scotland (including one of my favourite areas in the West).

I've often wondered what faithful Catholics do when thinking about moving to such areas. Do they feel obliged NOT to move because they'd be beyond any normal parish life? It seems to me that there's a lot of need out there.

Perhaps a different form of 'parish' would be a good idea - i.e. an extra-regional parish for those outside the normal ideas of parish...

Thinking about sacraments, maybe there could be some way in which the Sacrament could be reserved in sufficient quantities in specially designated Catholic homes for those who can't really travel but would welcome a lay-led Service of the Word and Holy Communion? Perhaps preaching and homilies could be delivered over the Internet?

Thinking along the lines of those distant from Church, here's a question: how do long distance mariners manage? We've obviously got an Apostleship of the Sea. Perhaps there should be an Apostleship of the Rural-Remote?

This is all stream-of-thought stuff, by the way, in case anyone thinks I've dropped any liturgical clangers.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.
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Paduan
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It occurs to me that calling something an 'Apostolate' would mean it would need at least a chaplain, and possibly even as far as a Bishop being involved.

Perhaps there's a retired one who'd like to be patron somewhere?
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.
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Rose of York
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I could start it off right now, with forum software, there is nothing in Canon Law to prevent me gathering a group of like minded Catholics to share:

Information
Prayer
Companionship

but if we had canonical approval, we could have information sent to all parishes, we could ask for a chaplain (perhaps a retired priest), we could explain to the bishops what WE consider to be the most appropriate spiritual and practical support for isolated Catholics, whatever the cause of the isolation.

We might even squeeze some cash from their Lordships, for a publicity campaign! :rofl:

Would the bishops trust the laity to set this up with their approval?
Keep the Faith!

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Derekap
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Paduan wrote:

"Am I right in saying that one is only expected to travel up to 7 miles to get to Mass"

I'v never heard of a specific distance though I wouldn't put it passed anyone giving such a personal opinion.

The ability of the person, availability of public and private transport and weather all outweigh any distance. A person ten miles from church may well be more able to attend than a person a mile away.

*******************

PjD wrote:

"Mass only takes about half an hour; with travelling time added of course."

The Holy Mass we attend on Sundays takes about an hour. I once asked a doorkeeper how many were in the congregation - adults and children about 230 and our small church is full. The Celebrant and Deacon (or in his absence an EMHC) distribute the Hosts and two EMsHC distribute from The Chalice.. There wouldn't be any room for more distributors. And there is no interminable singing from the Choir - just the usual hymns at the beginning and end, during the collection and the distribution of Holy Communion , the Alleluia, Holy Holy Holy, and sometimes Shalom.


Derekap
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PJD


"The Holy Mass we attend on Sundays takes about an hour"

Derek: I was in fact referring to Mass during the week.

Rose: Your list is well put but cannot be fully thought about in 5 mins.(smile)

PJD
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Derekap
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PJD:

"So in my opinion you carry on Derek - the hardest part by the way is to do it kindly - and that is hard!"

Fortunately I usually hve a sense of humour which helps.

Rose:
Do you mean the one man and his twelve friends were isolated, and in the same boat as isolated parishioners"

I think His twelve fiends were in a number of boats when they arrived at the shore very laden with fish.

Rose (again)

"Do you mean it would only take a small number could set up an Association of Isolated Catholics?"

In setting up any organisation church or secular there is a danger of not attracting followers-on and it dies when they do. I have known small secular societies close because of the difficulty in gaining new leaders.

***************

Since Rose's challenge I am not yet wiser. However, it did occur to me that the SVP and Legion of Mary sometimes visit lonely people and couples. In fairness they have their own family and work commitments so their opportunities are naturally very limited.

A few years ago for a few months two older girls from the local 11+ Catholic School visited my lone elderly aunt about five times. Unfortunately because of the decades of years difference neither side was on the same wavelength and I think it was an embarrassment on both sides. Such visits ceased.
Derekap
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Rose of York
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Derekap
Saturday, 11. April 2009, 15:00
Since Rose's challenge I am not yet wiser. However, it did occur to me that the SVP and Legion of Mary sometimes visit lonely people and couples. In fairness they have their own family and work commitments so their opportunities are naturally very limited.
In some cases loneliness can be cured, by letting people know they are wanted and needed. There are people who get to Mass every week, yet are lonely. Inviting them to take an active part in something, in association with other people, can help them make their own friends, then the need for the visit might come to an end. The trick is, to let it be known that (for example) a person running a stall at a fete could, instead of saying "I have enough helpers, but thanks for offering" could say "Come and give us a hand, please".
Keep the Faith!

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Rose of York
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Mairtin, the £30 is paid to the crematoriam in Scunthorpe. If Churches offered this service, one would hope there would be no set fee. What about the technology? Would it be out of the question, for financial reasons?
Keep the Faith!

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