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Special Needs
Topic Started: Thursday, 12. February 2009, 21:18 (268 Views)
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This came into my inbox today sent by a member of a credit union I am involved with. A bit saccharine perhaps but it did make me think. Apologies for the length of it but you are spared the huge red font it came to me in.

Quote:
 
Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. after extolling the school and its
dedicated staff, he offered a Question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning... I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to First!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to Second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way
Shay' Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day' , said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.' So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:
1. Delete
2. Forward

May your day, be a Shay Day.


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Rose of York
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John, thanks for that, it is beautiful. The moral of the story is:

There are times when we adults can learn from the youngsters.
Keep the Faith!

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Rose of York
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I have taken John's posting out of Miscellaneous Catholic Chat, because I feel the matter of how we treat adults and children with special needs (physical, mental or emotional), is worth exploring.

Do we aim to give them the help they know is best for them? (they are individuals)
Are we on the alert, recognising they have something to offer?
Do we take the attitude the adults and children who have problems are a nuisance and should not be allowed to disrupt OUR prayers?

In the story of Shay, the boy who appeared to have little to offer, children silently "ganged up", giving him his pride and a sense of achievement. Who gained the most, Shay or the other boys (or Shay's Dad)?

Quote:
 
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
Keep the Faith!

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Clare
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Lovely. :thanks: John.
S.A.G.

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JRJ

I received this email, too. In the US - it has really made the rounds. The 11 February episode of EWTN Live focused on special needs ranging from deafness to veterans of combat and all sorts of challenges in between. There are groups that volunteer the necessary medical and practical support needed to help persons with special needs make a pilgrimage to Lourdes.
Jennifer
hubby's dinosaur blog
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Mairtin
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It would be a nice story if it were actually true, which seems unlikely.
http://www.snopes.com/glurge/chush.asp

A good rule of thumb is that if an email asks you to forward it to other people then it's almost certainly some kind of hoax - virus "warnings" are notorious for this.

Getting back to the story, I agree with Barbara Mikkelson on the snopes site - who seems to know first hand what she is talking about - when she says:
Quote:
 
What to make of an incitement to bestow upon the disabled a pat on the head instead of granting them acceptance for who they are, even when that means accepting the limitations placed upon them by their infirmities?

... Can a disabled child hit a baseball as well as a perfectly-abled one? No. But can that same child learn to work within his disabilities to the point of achieving real accomplishments he can take honest pride in?

Absolutely. And that beats all the pity-driven home runs in the world.

Said the father in the story, "I believe that when God brings a child like this into the world the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child." This story counsels that "perfection" be one of pity and dismissal of the actual person. And that can't be right.

Barbara "killed with kindness" Mikkelson


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Whether that particular story is true I know not, but I can vouch for this one.
Many years ago, when my sons were in primary school,there was a very popular little girl affected by Down's Syndrome. At the school sports day prior to her leaving for secondary school, every one of the children, from nursery to J4 (as it was then) cheered and chanted her name as she ran in the final obstacle race. All the runners found something to "slow them down" and she won. The playground erupted with cheers.
There had been no suggestion that this should happen, no parent or teacher had made any comment, the entire episode was the spontaneous idea of her classmates

KatyA
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Rose of York
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Mairtin
Saturday, 21. February 2009, 16:11
http://www.snopes.com/glurge/chush.asp

Quote:
 
What to make of an incitement to bestow upon the disabled a pat on the head instead of granting them acceptance for who they are, even when that means accepting the limitations placed upon them by their infirmities?

For two weeks I walked with a stick, all because of a little sore on the underside of my foot. The stick enabled me to prevent pressure from bits of gravel on rough ground.

The parish lady who must be obeyed signalled to me when it was time to get up to go and receive Holy Communion. As I got into the aisle, she put her hand under my elbow and gently turned me in the right direction. Looking back it was so ridiculous, I can laugh. It was not funny at the time. I reckon she assumed a stick indicated a little sore on the brain.
:rofl:
Keep the Faith!

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Clare
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Mairtin
Saturday, 21. February 2009, 16:11
It would be a nice story if it were actually true, which seems unlikely.
Come on Mairtin! It's a nice story regardless of whether or not it's true! :grin:
Edited by Clare, Saturday, 21. February 2009, 16:56.
S.A.G.

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Rose of York
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Mairtin
Saturday, 21. February 2009, 16:11
It would be a nice story if it were actually true, which seems unlikely.
http://www.snopes.com/glurge/chush.asp

A good rule of thumb is that if an email asks you to forward it to other people then it's almost certainly some kind of hoax - virus "warnings" are notorious for this.

Getting back to the story, I agree with Barbara Mikkelson on the snopes site - who seems to know first hand what she is talking about - when she says:
Quote:
 
What to make of an incitement to bestow upon the disabled a pat on the head instead of granting them acceptance for who they are, even when that means accepting the limitations placed upon them by their infirmities?

... Can a disabled child hit a baseball as well as a perfectly-abled one? No. But can that same child learn to work within his disabilities to the point of achieving real accomplishments he can take honest pride in?

Absolutely. And that beats all the pity-driven home runs in the world.

Said the father in the story, "I believe that when God brings a child like this into the world the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child." This story counsels that "perfection" be one of pity and dismissal of the actual person. And that can't be right.

Barbara "killed with kindness" Mikkelson


The father said "Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do."

Shay thought he had played well. Shay came out of it happy and proud. His parents were happy for him.

It would be different if a child with a physical disability was presumed not to be as intelligent as his peers.

I do not see this as a story of pity-driven home runs or killing with kindness. The other boys did not tell Shay they would go easy on him. They showed a deep understanding of the need to belong and to achieve.
Keep the Faith!

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Rose of York
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Food for thought
Father Terry Tastard
Independent Catholic News
The story of the paralytic lowered through the roof always fascinates children. They love the element of naughtiness that goes with the story. They imagine the shock and disbelief as the men smash a hole in the roof, showering everybody with debris. Perhaps children have it right, because this story (Mk. 2.1-12) is full of surprises.

The drama of the roof is the first surprise. The second comes with the words of Jesus. The man wants to be healed from a terrible paralysis. Yet Jesus offers him forgiveness of sins. We find ourselves taken aback, and perhaps a little shocked at this. Why should Jesus offer forgiveness when healing was requested? Perhaps the man’s paralysis was the result of some terrible physical illness. Or perhaps it came from neurosis, for example from depression or guilt, for these things can literally paralyse a person. Either way, the forgiveness that Jesus offered gave the man what he needed. In our own day we are aware how body, mind and spirit interact. The man needed a word of hope, something that would cut through his misery and give him something to cling to. Jesus spoke a freeing word. Not only in the forgiveness, but in the challenge to take his bedding and go. This challenge tells the man that Jesus believes he has the inner resources to do this. Jesus believes that the paralytic can summon the energy that is necessary, banish doubts, and stand up in front of all these skeptical people. Jesus gives a challenge, and the man rises to it. The affirmation offered by Jesus has set him free.

Affirmation is one of the most wonderful things in life. Parents regularly encourage their children, giving them self-confidence to believe that they can succeed. The best teachers are experts at affirmation, encouraging their students. In the work place, too, affirmation can be crucial: being helped to discover your capabilities is so important. And here in the gospel we have Jesus as the supreme affirmation from God. Jesus tells us that God believes in us, loves us, is for us, and will forgive our sins so that a fresh start is possible. And so this paralytic man hears Jesus not only set him free from sin, but tell him literally to pick himself up. No wonder St Paul wrote the lyrical words we hear today from 2 Corinthians 1.18-22: 'The Son of God … was never Yes and No: with him was always Yes.' There is no affirmation greater than this: God is with us, and has set his healing power among us, in and through Christ.

The religious experts responded to the healing by citing the law. Their instincts were surely correct and they acted from good intent. Only God can forgive sins. This startling event pointed to the true nature of Jesus. It was difficult for the scribes to see what God was doing in front of their very eyes. Before we criticise them for this, perhaps we should wonder how many times God has shown himself in our midst and we have failed to notice.


http://www.indcatholicnews.com/chaplain.html
Keep the Faith!

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Rose of York
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I am going to be controversial now.

Whenever there are threads on people with special needs of any sort, there are few responses. Why? The general attitude is "Communion at home" whether or not the person is able to get to Mass and take part in parish activities.

Children with syndromes that make them over excitabe, attract complaints from people who do not want them in the church, that excludes the child and the parents.

A person who asked for a minor adjustment (a soft chair) posted on this forum, he was reduced to taking court action. The cry had been "do something for you, other people will make demands".

I am in a mood, experience has taught me that we marginalise our parishioners who have special needs, emotional, mental or physical. Parishes get the ramp, the loop system and the large print books, they think that is all that is required of them.

We could do with a good debate on here. Anybody care to respond to my rant?
Keep the Faith!

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JRJ

Rose of York
Wednesday, 24. June 2009, 14:49
I am going to be controversial now.

Whenever there are threads on people with special needs of any sort, there are few responses. Why? The general attitude is "Communion at home" whether or not the person is able to get to Mass and take part in parish activities.

Children with syndromes that make them over excitabe, attract complaints from people who do not want them in the church, that excludes the child and the parents.

A person who asked for a minor adjustment (a soft chair) posted on this forum, he was reduced to taking court action. The cry had been "do something for you, other people will make demands".

I am in a mood, experience has taught me that we marginalise our parishioners who have special needs, emotional, mental or physical. Parishes get the ramp, the loop system and the large print books, they think that is all that is required of them.

We could do with a good debate on here. Anybody care to respond to my rant?
Our Parish (US) has a large number of persons with special needs. Our "other" Parish - we visit about every 6 weeks - has a large number of elderly and military, who can be seen as having special needs, too.

The special needs present in our Parish: many deaf or hard of hearing, mostly children (we are close to a school for the deaf), a few confined to wheelchairs with various diseases/congenital conditions that limit the ability to communicate to some extent, and various other special circumstances. For example, we sat behind a father with a young son who was experiencing something like Tourette Syndrome (uncontrollable tics/vocalizations). The father was so patient and kind - we were impressed - and handled the situation by himself, coaching/correcting his boy as necessary, firmly and with clear purpose to help him grow to his potential.

The Parish seems naturally to incorporate assistance for these faithful. There are ramps for wheelchairs and signers for the deaf (usually from among the families of the hard of hearing). Parishioners look out for those in need of a door held open, a push up the wheelchair ramp, patience with babies and other noisy family members, etc. This among a VERY mixed group including most races, at least four languages and lots of immigrants. Maybe that is part of why the "different" aren't seen or treated as a "problem" in the Parish? We also have a large contingent of Permanent Deacons (five) and two of the men speak languages of the main non-Anglo ethnic groups - this must help Father with communication, problem-solving and generally being helpful to the people.

Also, in the US, what we used to call handicapped children are frequently incorporated into mainstream classrooms in school, so it is unusual for citizens not to have at least some experience of those with physical or other challenges. What is the status of the treatment of people with special needs/requests for some accommodation in UK society in general?
Jennifer
hubby's dinosaur blog
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pete

I thought it was a lovely story John and so was KatyA’s .
You all know that I am a proud dad of a Downs son, and he just loves serving on the Alter with his friend another Downs-syndrome young man. Whilst my son needs prompting, his friend is on the ball, he knows exactly what to do and when to do it. Thanks to his knowledge and serious commitment as a server, he has helped Keith my son so much and constantly keeps him under his watchful eye. When Keith does something wrong, seeing his friend shaking his head in disapproval brings smiles to all our faces. For instance three weeks ago as the priest was giving the congregation his final blessing, Keith decided to copy the priest and bless the congregation as well; it’s just as well we have a priest with a good sense of humour who saw the funny side of it, as did the congregation.

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Rose of York
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JRJ
Wednesday, 24. June 2009, 19:27
What is the status of the treatment of people with special needs/requests for some accommodation in UK society in general?
Premises that are open to the public (that includes places of worship) must comply with an Act of Parliament. The premises must be as accessible as is reasonable. The test of reasonableness could be used by a tiny little independent country chapel that has, say, twenty attendees, little money and no "umbrella organisation" such as a diocese, that could help out with funds. Such a chapel would not be expected to provide the same high standard as a large church, mosque, synagogue or Cathedral. The Service Providers Guide to the Disability Discrimination Act gives excellent advice about attitudes towards persons with special needs. The little shop in our village has steps, no ramp, no reasonable person would expect them to spend so much it would put them out of business.

Flouting of the Act is widespread in churches and in the secular field, but is not a criminal offence, so it is up to the person suffering discrimination, to take civil action,which few would want to do, it would be expensive and stressful.

In Catholic premises some parish priests have made a tremendous effort and achieved much, some have done little or nothing. Few people know that initially the responsibility lies with the parish priest, and ultimately it lies with the diocese because it owns the buildings.

My own experience, as the wife of a person with physical problems, is that the young people are more empathatic than the older ones!

Some large parishes have arrangements for catechesis for what we call "special needs children" (eg those with syndromes that lead to disruptive behaviour. Some have signers for deaf people, some do not.

Judging by your posting, Jennifer, your parish has high standards, but judging by the large number of clergy you have a large congregation therefore, I should think, higher income than a typical British parish. Money helps, but where funds are low, it is still nice to find a healthy attitude.
Keep the Faith!

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