Cat escapades

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Cat escapades
Topic Started: Monday, 27. October 2008, 16:43 (42 Views)
Rose of York	Monday, 27. October 2008, 16:43 Post #1
Administrator Posts: 14,517 Group: Admin Member #2 Joined: September 25, 2006	Two fire engines and eight firefighters from Lothian and Borders Fire and Rescue Service turned out after the disappearance at midnight on June 8, of a six week old kitten. It was found - stuck down a drain. First they used a vibrascope camera, normally used for locating people trapped in earthquakes, to pinpoint the wee kitten's location, then they attached a sock to the nozzle of a vacuum cleaner and the kitten was gently sucked out of the pipe at about 2am.. The incident came just a few hours after the mother cat crawled under some floorboards and gave birth to a litter of four. The householder heard whining coming from beneath the dishwasher. Four kittens had been born, she could only find three. She said "We tried various ways to get it out and I could almost get my arm down the hole but the kitten had become trapped too far down and round the bend. "The fire brigade suggested tearing out the units and ripping up the floorboards. "I said to them there must be an easier way to get the kitten out than destroying my kitchen so we decided to get the Hoover out and see if we could suck it out the hole. We put a sock over the end of the Hoover, stuck it down the hole and out it popped." The morals of this story are: 1 If you can afford a dishwasher you can afford to fix the hole in the floor. 2 If you haven't gor around to fixing the floor, keep an eye on the cat. 3 When you're in a hole, shout for a woman, not a fireman. Women are good at improvising, and their methods are cheap. 4 If your wife, husband or mother in law is stuck down a hole, dial 999, tell them the cat's gone missing, you'll get two fire engines and eight firemen. Tell the truth, you might be told there is nobody available until a week on Monday. The story is on video, click this link http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/7445896.stm[redit][/redit]
	$Posted Image$ Catholic and proud of it! Talk to God before Mass. Talk to each other afterwards


Derekap	Monday, 27. October 2008, 19:53 Post #2
Posts: 3,408 Group: Members Member #14 Joined: September 26, 2006	Some years ago at our previous house a neighbour was doing some electrical wiring. He lifted a floorboard or part at one end and did the same at the other. He then tied a loose string or rope or the wire round the cat and put it down one of the holes. He then almost closed the hole and waited until the cat found the still open hole. Success, but he did say the cat must have gone a long way round. Don't contact the RSPCA the culprit is no longer with us.
	Derekap


Bob Crowley	Wednesday, 5. November 2008, 11:07 Post #3
Posts: 535 Group: Members Member #127 Joined: December 21, 2007	We used to have a magazine called "The Bulletin" in Australia, but sadly it's gone the way of the Tasmanian Tiger. Anyway they once had an edition based on the biggest flops. It seems back in pre-Thatcherite times, when strikes were going on all around the place, the Army was called out to rescue a cat from a tree, usually the preserve of firemen. After some effort they rescued the uncooperative cat, and were treated to tea and scones by the little old lady who owned the cat. They then departed, and as they left, ran over the cat in their army truck.



ANGLO-CATH	Wednesday, 19. November 2008, 13:30 Post #4
Posts: 23 Group: Members Member #32 Joined: October 5, 2006	I love our cat, but, just like his owners, he is becoming more eccentric as he gets older. Last week, he decided to "help" the man painting our living room. He ended up with a big splodge of paint on his back (matt not gloss fortunately!) Last night he decided to help himself to our butter (again!), so it was cornflakes rather than toast for breakfast.



Powerofone	Wednesday, 19. November 2008, 21:25 Post #5
Posts: 759 Group: Members Member #210 Joined: October 2, 2008	As this was getting rather dull, I thought that I'd inject some spice by combining it with the "Jokes" thread. Especially for cat lovers. How to Give a Cat a Tablet Pick the cat up and cradle in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into it, allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind the sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call partner in from garden. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get partner to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from the foil wrap. Make note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered 'Dolton' figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Wrap cat in large towel and get partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. Check label to make sure pills not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply plaster to partners forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbours shed and get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon and flick pill down throat with elastic band. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road and apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid the cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed and pry cat's mouth open with a small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour a pint of water down throat to wash down pill. Get partner to drive you to the Emergency Room and sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table. Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat. Ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. Edited by Powerofone, Wednesday, 19. November 2008, 21:48.



Fortunatus	Wednesday, 19. November 2008, 22:39 Post #6
Posts: 720 Group: Members Member #98 Joined: September 3, 2007	Thankyou for that Po1. It is winging its way to family and friends e'en as I speak. Perhaps the owner's mistake was to tell the cat beforehand that it was being given a Tablet. Enough to make any self-respecting feline throw up, perhaps?



Bob Crowley	Thursday, 20. November 2008, 12:03 Post #7
Posts: 535 Group: Members Member #127 Joined: December 21, 2007	I'm thinking of getting a cat flap for our screen door. I'm sick and tired of a very determined cat yowling at the door when she wants to go in or out (which can be no more than five minutes either way). She just doesn't shut up till she gets what she wants. Likewise if we get a bit sick of cuddling her, we put her on the floor. A minute later there'll be the slight thump as she lands back on the sofa. A few seconds after that a very delicate paw touch is felt as she tests the water. If we don't kick her off again, there'll be another delicate paw touch, until she thinks we don't know she's there. Then she'll very quietly snuggle up again. But then she makes the mistake of putting her claws right into our armpit. Off she goes.



Karin	Monday, 24. November 2008, 13:21 Post #8
Karin Posts: 825 Group: Members Member #9 Joined: September 26, 2006	These cat escapades make me miss my moggies even more. I hope we will be able to find a couple of little cuties when we get home. I'm thinking about checking out the RSPCA when we get there to see what they have. I know there is a darling little fellow in Wales, but it will probably have used up his nine lives by the time we get home! So, I'll just keep looking at the RSPCA web site and dream!
	Karin Hvaljen Isus i Marija. Kraljica Mira, moli za nas. "Praised be Jesus and Mary. Queen of Peace, Pray for Us."


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