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Passing On Your Faith; to your own children
Topic Started: Tuesday, 13. November 2007, 01:40 (1,456 Views)
Timothy
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When a Catholic has children, and get them baptised, they aim to bring their child up in the Catholic faith, they may send their child to a Catholic Primary and Secondary school, they may buy them bibles, prayer books, take them to sites of pilgrimage, they may take them to Mass every Sunday, and so on and so forth.

However it comes a time when the Child becomes an Adult, and many Adults, perhaps on in there mid to late teens decide to leave the Church, or "just stop going to Church."

I find that the most under represented demographic in many Parishes is that of 15-30 year olds. It is a sad and depressing thought that after so many years of religious instruction people in the most important and intense periods of their lives, (their education, their entry to the work force, getting into relationships, getting married etc.) is undertaken when they are not practising their Faith.

Many parents of these young adults worry intensely and pray for their children, however I find a great many of these parents who at least seem not to worry, believing that when their child is older and has children of his or her own they will return to the Church.

What must be done about this, how should a Parent prepare the child, and encourage them to remain in the Church? What can other Catholics do to ensure more young people remain in the Church? Is this as serious an issue as I have made out it to be?
"An adult faith does not follow the waves of fashion and the latest novelty."
"Having a clear faith, according to the credo of the church, is often labelled as fundamentalism."
Pope Benedict XVI
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Rose of York
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Yes, it is as serious as you say, Timothy. There have always been people who say that the ones who leave young come back. They do not. If they did our congregations would be at least double what they are now, and our parishes would not have such a high proportion of people aged over 50, with the most represented age group being (at least, where I am) over 60.

I wish I knew what we could do about it.

It used to be considered normal to remain in the parents' home until one's wedding day, that helped us keep to the Catholic way of life. Now, an 18 year old might move away, and share a house with others who never go to church. The Catholic who continues attending Mass will have to opt out of some Sunday activities with friends, like breakfast in McDonalds. Their parish peer group is replaced by the work and house share peer group.

Even on Christmas Day, I see middle aged and old people in the church, their families are spending a few days with them, they will all go out with their parents, but few accompany them to Mass.
Keep the Faith!

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Emee
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I believe this is so Timothy because the world bombards the young people with information and so many different alternatives, and, as a result, the young people just don't see the relevance of their religion to life - especially if it's good old solid Roman Catholicism. New Age / Ancient British religions - yes; Eastern religions - quite possibly. But not Catholicism - and the reason why is that some of the generation before have, at times, been ashamed of their faith - or at the very least, just not promoted it as crucial to daily life. Nature abhors a vacuum and the young people will look somewhere else to fulfill their need for spirituality.

Many of our young people are spiritually lost, and it is their materialistic "never had it so good" parents who are sadly partly the cause. Still the parents were revelling in their new found access to plenty after the sparcity of the war years so who could blame them really? Only now are people realising the need to live more simply, through choice, rather than out of wartime necessity.
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Deleted User
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The basic point is certainly true ,and worse still ,some of the drift back that Timothy mentions is because the young people have children of their own and quite fancy getting them into a Catholic school.

To some extent, I think it healthy that young people drop away from the Church as they reach teenagery. Who wants a generation of obedient, faithful non-thinkers and doubters? The real question we "stayers" need to ask ourselves is not whether modern life is seducing people away but whether some of our doctrines are plain wrong and drivng people away.

John
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Alan
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What a massive and fair question you have touched on Timothy.

One must start from the premise that the Revealed truths of 2000 years ago are as relevant today as they were then.

I personally remember being asked by a seafarer in the early 1960's "how was it a sin to eat meat on Fridays when I went away 12months ago and now its no longer a sin?

Many drift away from weekly Mass attendance because as has been stated "Peer Pressure".

Well I remember when a Sunday Evening Mass was introduced by our Bishop at one city centre church. He advised the faithful that this Mass would not fulfill the Sunday obligation for those who were able to attend morning Mass. He claimed that the Mass in the evening would only fulfill the obligation of those who, because of work, were unable to attend morning Mass. He appeared to be out of step with the Bishops of other Dioceses.

Now we have Vigil Masses which fulfills the obligation.

So it is with the relaxation of hard and fast regulations that we we experience the drift away from Mass attendance.

It is said that we now have in our churches those who desire to be there.

Then we come to the question. How welcome do we make our young people? Are they posibly being made to feel inadequate because more mature members of the parish do not encourage there more active participation. "The Green cardigan syndrome"

Like others here I have no idea how we encourage them back, but I do know it is not by deviating from revealed truth. For all Catholics there is great difficulty in living by the "Revealed Truths". But we keep trying.





God Bless all who visit this forum,

Alan.

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Gerard

Yes its a big question.

Here is another:

Why are the two new churches in my town bursting at the seems with young people ? Teens, children and young parents !

And lest anyone starts suggesting they are liberal may I say they are Evangelical and interpret the Bible strictly - no divorce, no sex outwith marriage, no abortion etc.

They are also pentecostal/charismatic and sing loud modern songs.

Gerry
"The institutional and charismatic aspects are quasi coessential to the Church's constitution" (Pope John Paul II, 1998).
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Gerard

All,

Quote:
 
So it is with the relaxation of hard and fast regulations that we we experience the drift away from Mass attendance.


Christianity is not about regulations. And this is one thing I consider we get wrong. Christianity is about a relationship with Jesus Christ. If you look at Emee's post she talks about spirituality. This is what the young are looking for and not finding in us. They find doctrines, regulations, rules, practices, ceremonies and habits but not the relationship.

Gerry
"The institutional and charismatic aspects are quasi coessential to the Church's constitution" (Pope John Paul II, 1998).
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Emee
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My daughter's friend's Baptist Church which we attended a while ago for her Baptism was teeming with teenagers. I was well-impressed with the sincerity of their faith, and their basic decency towards each other. A few of them had formed a Christian rock band and played at the service. Their delight in their worship was a joy to behold, and I was left feeling just a little sad that Catholics do not always seem to be as happy in their faith...

It IS Good News!!!
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Rose of York
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I wish to pass on a little tip about our attitude to young parishioners. One day I suddenly realised I had been engrossed in conversation with another parishioner, and I had behaved as though her children were not there. Since then I have made a point of getting acquainted with the children of friends and acquaintances at church, addressing them by name, and including them in conversations. The signs are that they appreciate it.

It can be helpful if we pick up our coffee and get into conversation with the young people, instead of making a bee line for the same people, week after week.
Keep the Faith!

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Deleted User
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I don't find it surprising that some denominations have a ready supply of young people. A certaain type of young person--and many a lot older who should know better--are attracted by stern certainty and rigid doctrine. However, that is usually a shallow faith and means that the fall-off from those Churches takes place at a later age range.

Our task is much harder--to engage with those young people who reject rigid dogma and the old certainties and who do so for the most part while living outward-going good and fulfilling lives as very useful members of society. I don't have the answer, you will have guessed by now but one thing I do know is that we have to approach the problem in a spirit of humility rather than simply insisting our Faith has all the answers.

John
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Clare
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Putting the "Fun Dame" into Fundamentalist
John Sweeney
Nov 13 2007, 09:57 AM
To some extent, I think it healthy that young people drop away from the Church as they reach teenagery. Who wants a generation of obedient, faithful non-thinkers and doubters?

I think God would rather like an obedient generation of faithful non-doubters!

But being one of those does not make one "unthinking".

Isn't it more likely the ones whose mates aren't interested in religion, and who stop practising the faith, that are the unthinking ones.

"It's not cool, none of my mates are into it" is hardly "thinking" for oneself!

Clare.
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Deleted User
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Possibly Clare but it's not my experience. Those who give up have usually taken a long hard look at the Church and decided that it is not for them. We Catholics like to think that this is an unthinking drift from the truth but alas it is usually a considered decision.

And in my personal view the last thing God needs is unthinking obedience!

John
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Gerard

John Sweeney
Nov 13 2007, 09:43 PM
Possibly Clare but it's not my experience. Those who give up have usually taken a long hard look at the Church and decided that it is not for them.
John



John,

Agreed. And who can blame them. The real problem is that when they reject the Church they don't turn to Jesus.

Gerry
"The institutional and charismatic aspects are quasi coessential to the Church's constitution" (Pope John Paul II, 1998).
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Timothy
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Quote:
 
I believe this is so Timothy because the world bombards the young people with information and so many different alternatives, and, as a result, the young people just don't see the relevance of their religion to life - especially if it's good old solid Roman Catholicism.


I think this is a very valid point, there is a proliferation of competing denominations, religion, morality, and that clearly confuses many! However shouldn't the parents of these children (given they have the best access to their children) be the ones to instill Catholic values and ideas. The parents have the head start, and it seems very few of them make any use of it. That is the failure.

I think that any suggestion of changing Catholic doctrine to "attract" young people, would be foolish, and it would drive existing Catholics away. The Church has stood for 2000 years, and it doesn't require change to doctrine, perhaps reform in practise, but nothing to alter the doctrine.

One thing that I admire about evangelical churches, is that Sunday becomes a "day at Church" it is not one hour for example. Now aside from suggestions that people's lives are so busy that all they can give to God is one hour; shouldn't we promote Sunday as a day of worship, Mass, teaching, debate etc.

I think it would be great if after Mass on a Sunday rather than having tea and coffee with people talking about anything BUT religion, shouldn't there be debate about it (obviously not proposing changing Catholic doctrine) shouldn't there teaching, and lectures given perhaps by the Clergy or educated members of the Parish on various topics.

I think the greatest sin in the Church today is Ignorance, ignorance of the Catholic Faith, ignorance of it's teachings, it's history, it's role in society; and it makes many Catholics look naive and stupid, and how can young people (or anyone) be attracted to a faith which many people practise without a great knowledge of it!
"An adult faith does not follow the waves of fashion and the latest novelty."
"Having a clear faith, according to the credo of the church, is often labelled as fundamentalism."
Pope Benedict XVI
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Rose of York
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Mixed marriages have some bearing on the problem. One parent wants the family to do something at church. The other parent does not want to go, but resents having to spend most of Sunday at home alone, without husband/wife and the children. That leads to a bit of give and take, so the Catholic may opt for the minimum, ie fulfilling the Sunday obligation and leaving it at that.

There can be tension when in-laws hope the Catholic parent will not "fill the childrens' heads with rubbish" or "ram religion down the kids' throats".
Keep the Faith!

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