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The Story Of A Parish; An everyday story about parish folk
Topic Started: Thursday, 1. February 2007, 22:56 (4,322 Views)
Rose of York
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Sister Monica asked, gently "Good morning Madam. And you are?"

The formidable woman's voice boomed "I am Mrs Wilde. Everyone knows who I am. I take it you are one of the supposedly homeless people who come here to beg for money for drink. What is your name, woman?"

The reply, soft, sweet and gentle, was "I am Sister Monica, the parish pastoral assistant and sacristan. I am delighted to meet you at last, Mrs Wilde. Would you care to step inside?"
Keep the Faith!

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Emee
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Yes the name of "that Wilde woman" (as referred to by Father Cardew) was indeed legendary across the entire diocese. Wherever she went she cast a very large shadow in her wake.

"Would you care to join me in a cup of tea and a Cornish pasty?" Sister Monica asked in her best polite voice, while mopping her skirt with kitchen roll.

"Cornish pasty?! Cornish pasty?!" Mrs Wilde expostulated and grew rather purple, "How can you talk of Cornish pasties at a time like this?"

"I'm sorry Mrs Wilde...?" Sister Monica began.

"Where are we going to perform 'The Gondoliers' now?"

"'The Gondoliers' Mrs Wilde?"

"You know, you know (Mrs Wilde had a habit of often repeating herself). The story of the King of Barataria."

"I can't say I do Mrs Wilde," Sister Monica shook her head.

The microwave had pinged. Sister Monica was acutely aware her Cornish pasty was ready to eat.

"Oh come now! EVERYONE knows 'The Gondoliers' - Gilbert and Sullivan 1889."

"I remember 'I'm a Writer Not a Fighter'," Sister Monica piped up.

"Are you trying to be obstructive my dear? That was Gilbert O'Sullivan! I am speaking of the two great late 19th Century opera writers - do you know they wrote 14 in 25 years?"

"I'm afraid my taste in music is more 20th Century," Sister Monica winced at her mistake (her parents had only moved to England from Jamaica in the 1950's and her historical knowledge of British history and culture was not too refined).

She winced again - the pasty would be starting to cool off.

"Anyway, after the OUTSTANDING success we had last year with 'Ruddigore', we are now half way through rehearsals for 'The Gondoliers'. Trevor Donnelly is delighted to be playing the part of Marco and he has just finished learning the song: 'Take a Pair of Sparkling Eyes'..."

Mrs Wilde's own eyes went all misty at this point and for a moment she was transfixed elsewhere.

"Anyway! she rapidly recalled herself. Sister Monica jumped - Mrs Wilde's booming voice tended to have this effect on people.

"As a result of the forthcoming merger of our two parishes, our hall is to be closed imminently and the land sold off for housing - goodness knows how a housing estate can be fitted into that space...!"

"Modern houses," Sister Monica agreed (it would have been so lovely with just a squirt of tomato ketchup on it...).

"Your parish hall," Mrs Wilde went on, "is fully booked during the period which we will need it for (I have checked with Miss Murphy your Parish Secretary) and so I need Father Meldrew, sorry, Cardew to relocate some of your parish events to the primary school hall so we have a venue."

"I'm sorry I can't arrange that," Sister Monica's stomach rumbled a little.

Mrs Wilde chose to ignore her.

"And in return, I am prepared to offer Father Cardew the role of The Grand Inquisitor," she nodded benevolently, "Patrick Lambert who was originally playing Don Alhambra has had to pull out because he has ripped a muscle in his back skiing in Whistler, and I know Father Cardew has an excellent singing voice..."

"I'm sure Father would be delighted to hear you say that but..."

Sister Monica never got to complete her sentence.

"Excellent! Excellent my dear! Now where's that Cornish pasty...?!"
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James
James
Later in the day Father returned in an exhuberant mood and rubbing his hands happened to mention that he ran into George and called into in The Bull Hotel to discuss church business. As usual, Father Cardew had drunk coffee and bought George a pint.
"Any callers when I was out, sister," he enquired.
"Any callers ? father, Any callers ?" " did you know about this before you went out ?"
"About what ? sister ?" Why? was there a problem ?
"I'll say there was a problem. the Wilde woman was here and demanded the hall for her rehearsals from next week"
"Well she can't have it " said father Cardew " the effects of the pub atmosphere beginning to kick in. Sister Monica worried about Father's visits to the pub, with him having stayed off alcohol for many years, but he had assured her, he still liked the company and it was a good place to avoid certain parish ladies. The Good Lord helped him stay sober.
"Well I did mention there might be a problem just before she left and she became very angry again."
"She said she is going to phone Dickie Johns (Bishop Richard Johns) when she gets back and mentioned he was never any good even when he was a curate but she would shake him up a bit with a few home truths she knows about him"
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Rose of York
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"That, Sister Monica, is good news indeed", said Father Cardew. "She's played into our hands, the Bishop himself can deal with her. That will save me the trouble. Bishop Johns is an old hand at dealing with the Wilde woman. No doubt he'll tell her, if she's threatening to murky the waters, every Catholic in the Diocese knows her reputation for spreading unfounded tales of fishy business in his See."
Keep the Faith!

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James
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Next morning after mass, sister Monica told Father he had to ring Bishop's House urgently before he has breakfast.
Upon enquiry he was told that Bishop Johns wants to speak with him personally and to hold on.
Seconds later a jovial voice announced "AH! Tony, Richard Johns here, How are you old boy?"
(Tony? Richard Johns? Old Boy? - what's going on thought father)
"Oh very well your grace and you, how are you?" he replied.
"No need for the the formalities Tony, just call me Richard"
Oh alright, Richard, what can I do for you?" he said aloud.
"Well actually your name cropped up last week and I meant to ring you earlier,
A position of canon in charge of diocean schools education has cropped up and you are just the man for the job. Not a lot to do really, just attend a few meetings each month and keep an eye on Mother Church's interests. Most of the stuff going on will not be of much interest to church so you will not have a lot to worry about. State looks after all that side of it. Expenses paid of course and a lunch or dinner at the Hotel before you return to the parish. You will have a secretary funded by my office. Be disappointed if you refuse, Tony".
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Emee
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Over at the rather ostentatious Bracknell Hall Mrs Wilde was on the telephone to St Isidore's Parish Secretary.

"Hello Miss Murphy, Mrs Wilde here."

The thin bespectacled Pauline Murphy shuddered audibly.

"Beg pardon my dear?" Mrs Wilde frowned.

"Oh hello Mrs Wilde," Pauline Murphy gathered herself, "Can I help you?"

"You most certainly can my dear. I want you to book the CCODS into St Isidore's Parish Hall for each evening for the next seven weeks!"

"CCODS Mrs Wilde?"

"The Corpus Christi Operatic and Dramatic Society of course!" Mrs Wilde rolled her eyes - so did Pauline Murphy. "That's six weeks for rehearsals and one week of performance."

"Mrs Wilde, as I explained to you the other day I can't do that. The hall is fully booked."

"Ah that's where you're wrong my dear," Mrs Wilde announced triumphantly, "It has been arranged that all bookings for the hall for that period of time will now transfer to St Isidore's primary school hall."

"Are you sure?" Pauline Murphy had heard nothing from the school secretary to that effect.

"If I remember rightly," Mrs Wilde went on, "The very words Sister Monica used were: 'Father would be delighted to'..."

"Oh well in that case then... I suppose I'd better ring the school tomorrow so's they can arrange for the caretaker to open and lock up in the evenings. Once again Mrs Wilde are you sure about this? I understand the school has several lettings itself, including after 50's 'Keep Fit' on Tuesdays and the Music Group on Thursdays."

"Then they will just have to move to a classroom won't they? As I understand it Father Cardew is due to be imminently more involved in matters of education and I'm sure he would be very disappointed indeed to see the school not supporting Church bookings and events. I have every confidence Miss Murphy that the matter will be resolved very swiftly and amicably so yes, would you please inform the school and present hirers of St Isidore's Parish Hall as soon as possible."

There were seven weeks' worth of bookings to renegotiate. Pauline Murphy put the phone down and stared into space for a long time, wondering to what on earth she had just agreed...
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Rose of York
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Father Cardew was being got at. VIPs, Very Important Parishioners, were coming at him in a pincer movement. Calmly, he took his breviary from the side table in his private sitting room, and went into the church. He genuflected, knelt, prayed Morning Prayer, then had his usual morning conversation with his Maker, and finally said the Rosary.

Under no circumstances would the good Father Cardew allow factions or administrative matters to interfere with his prayer routine. He was, first and foremost, a priest of Holy Mother Church, and a pastor of souls.
Keep the Faith!

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James
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Mrs Violet Henrietta Wilde ( nee Montague) sat quietly at her fireside.
She was of Norfolk stock and still lived in the old Montague homestead.
Her husband Joseph, O'flattery ,Wills ,Wilde being dead many years.
She was of good Catholic stock and missed her husband very much.
She was a very vunerable woman but put up a great aggressive front to drive away her fears of other people. She was a very lonely woman with only her memories to give her comfort.
She sat with a photograph album, a glass of whiskey and childhood music and remembered.
She investigated her past and although she found nothing in the Montagues, she took great comfort in the fact that her husband was a great, great, nephew of the infamous or famous "Oscar Wilde".
She decided, in memory of her late husband and Oscar, to dedicate her life to poetry and the arts and the production of great plays and has vowed never to waver from this great undertaking.
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James
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"Are you alright Father" said sister Monica.
"Oh fine, yes fine, thank you Sister"
But his mind was in turmoil.!
"What is going on" I was expecting this man, after his informal introductions, to come out with some sort of Bishop Casey admissions and instead he has offered me the position of Canon, with responsibility for the education of all the children in the diocese. I know he made it sound easy but it is not so. Is God at work here - there is no way I would have been offered a position of this kind.
I must pray and hope I have the strength to accept this honour and fulfill it to the best of my ability.
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Rose of York
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The bishop said, coolly, to the Vicar General "Monsignor, your criticism of Anthony Cardew is unfounded. If you had let me finish I would have told you, any mess, as I put it, is due to the proposal, advised by you, to close Corpus Christi without due consultation and at such short notice, also to transfer Tridentine Mass to another church. No priest in the Diocese has such high liturgical standards as Father Cardew. As for laity running the parish, that may be true of Corpus Christi but not St Isidores. Monsignor, Mrs Wildewill not control St Isidores. I assure you Father Cardew is quite adept at dealing with such parishioners. The truth is, Mrs Wilde is a lonely woman who used to wallow in her husband's position. She is insecure and feels the need to use the parish community to reassure herself that she has a particular role to play. It is indeed unfortunate, but she is not the Squire of Corpus Christi or St Isidores.

The only help I require from you, is to find an assistant priest for Father Cardew. He is an old man now, and it is not fair to overburden him. Also, I am willing to make a loan to St Isidores to assist with the long awaited restoration of their parish hall, and make it a truly fitting venue for one of the finest drama groups in the country. Who knows, with good marketing, the income from the drama productions might well produce sufficient income to pay off the parish debt, and of course the Diocese will get a percentage, hopefully for many years.

Keep the Faith!

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James
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"Father Cardew, are you there" , shouted sister MOnica.
"Yes, sister, yes, I'm here, What is it "? he replied.
"Bishops Office on the phone for you"
"Hello father Cardew, my name is Father Martin and Bishop Johns asked me to speak with you as he was called to a meeting, I'm his private secretary.
"Oh yes" said Father Cardew.
"He is wondering if you thought any more about his conversation with you"?
"I have indeed thought and prayed over it a lot" replied Fr Cardew, " and I am honoured to say I will accept".
"Bishop Johns will be delighted with your decision and I am instructed to go ahead and make arrangements for your inception as canon attached to the Cathedral - and may I be the first to congratulate you on your new appointment "Canon"Cardew."
"It will all take several weeks to organise but rest assured I will keep you informed at every stage so it does not conflict with any arrangemants you may have yourself."
"But consider yourself as part of the cathedral from now."
"Thank you very much indeed" replied Father(canon) "I don't know what to say".
Bishop has also asked me to see if you could possibly act on his behalf on a little local matter regarding the merger of the two halls between Corpus Christie and your own parish. He suggests something in the line of bringing both hall users together and look at all the bookings for both halls and see what can be done to accommodate everyone. If there is any local accommodation such as a club or hotel hall also available and convenient to either hall, please act on his behalf and hire it as well and charge to Cathedral until everything settles in. "
"Again canon, hope to see you when you visit us and, welcome on board "
Thank you again Father Martin and tell Bishop Johns I will see what can be done"
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James
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Ah! Pauline.
Yes Father ?
Could you arrange something for me please ?
Certainly, what is it ?
"Could you arrange for Mrs.Wilde, George and possibly Moira or Frances or both to have a little meeting with me regarding the halls. Be careful to tell Mrs Wilde that I need her help on the matter and ask her if there is anybody else with an interest in corpus christie hall to let you know and invite them as well, and arrange a taxi for the corpus christie people both ways."
"Of course, father I'll try and arrange it as soon as possible when everyone may be available together."
"Oh on second thoughts Pauline, I think it might be better if I got to know Mrs Wilde a bit better so could I meet her say half an hour or so before the others arrive."
"See what I can do father "
Thank you Pauline and I'll have to have you there as well.
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Rose of York
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The meeting was arranged for seven o'clock on Friday evening, and Mrs Wilde graciously agreed to Pauline's request that she herself have a private meeting with Father Cardew half an hour before the lesser mortals were due.

Mrs Wilde took care to dress in a manner befitting her status as the leading, most influential parishioner. She wore the outfit she had purchased for the visit of herself and her late husband, to the Buckingham Palace Garden Party. Mrs Wilde wore clothing of the highest quality. After all, that would be expected of her, as she was a lady of quality.

Immediately on arrival, Mrs Wilde commenced the interview.

"Father Cardew, I am very pleased to have this opportunity to tell you how we at Corpus Christi do things. The bishop is relying upon me to ensure that the Corpus Christi parishioners maintain their own, unique identity. That is of vital importance, because the culture of our part of town is vastly different from that of the district where St Isidores parishioners reside. I am sure you are aware we are noted for our fine musical tradition, and our drama group is the finest in the County. Indeed, it will be a great asset to you. It is just what your people need. From now onwards the people of St Isidores will be able to aim for better things than they have experienced in the past.
Keep the Faith!

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Emee
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With "Old Spice" music still ringing in her ears, Judith Baxter, one of the Bishop's Secretaries (not his Private one - that was Father Martin) phoned a friend.

"Bernie, trouble's afoot I just know it. The Monsignor's just left looking for all the world like he was some sort of immortal Highlander. I think this means he's finally got what he wanted all these years. Beware at St Isidore's and warn George."

"Thanks Judith. Not what we wanted to 'ear but 'eck it was bound to 'appen weren't it? Ok I'll let 'em know."

"On another subject Bern, has George finally asked Pauline out? It's St Valentine's Day tomorrow for goodness sake."

George, actually at heart a very shy man and all bluff, had held a long standing affection for St Isidore's Parish Secretary. Everyone else had noticed - except, of course, Pauline...
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James
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Father Cardew was not to be sidetracked.
Of course, of course, Mrs Wilde but that is all for the meeting.
Why I asked you to come along first was to get to know you as you will soon be with us and I already know the others.
"Now would you like some tea first and perhaps something with it ?"
"Well yes Father and perhaps try one your famous cornish pasties"
"Ah You've heard about them then " "Hot or cold".
"Medium Father -if you don't mind"
"Now tell me about yourself Mrs Wilde, its an unusual name for this neck of the woods" Oh and I hope you do not take offence if I ask you what you are called in your own parish as it's usually first names here and some find it strange with other ways.
"Over there it was usually "The Wilde woman " or "That woman " behind my back but to my face never addressed at all really "
"Didn't like me you see - thought I was too pushy "
"Last time anybody used my first name was when my husband was alive and he always called me "Violet".
"What a lovely first name - do you mind if I used it."
"Taken somewhat aback Mrs Wilde replied - well no of course not father"
"But You father , surely you are not called by you first name as well"
"Well no Violet I,m either father or father Cardew - but with you - you can call me Fr Tony if you wish"
Well no father if you don.t mind I'd just prefer "Father ""
"As you wish.and now Violet tell me all about yourself whilst we have our tea and pastie.
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