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  • [WIP] The Chain of Change, by phylanix
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[WIP] The Chain of Change, by phylanix
Tweet Topic Started: May 11 2010, 08:39 AM (538 Views)
Dilla May 11 2010, 08:39 AM Post #1
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Status: Work in Progress
Title: The Chain of Change
Author: phylanix
Rating: [Fanfiction rating i.e M]
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: None as of now
Summary: AU Naruto is called back to his village by the Yondaime, but relations between them are frigid. Yet father and son will have to learn to get along if Konoha is to survive the next great war. Features semi-super! Naruto. No foreseeable pairings.
Link: Right Here

I really wanted to hold out and wait for a couple updates to cement this as recommendations worthy, but this forum is so fucking dead that I felt compelled to just throw it out here now.

The beginning is rather sub-part, honestly. There are too many page breaks for the length of the chapters, and Naruto's wangst is strong.

However, as it progresses the chapter length increases, Naruto's wangst is tone down, and the relationship between Naruto and his father actually gains relevance beyond one-sided hate. The page breaks still suck though.

3.51/5 --->4/5
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Lutris May 13 2010, 09:46 PM Post #2
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I'm reading it now, will edit this post later with my review.

Fucking overworking architecture course is fucking overworking :(
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li.u May 14 2010, 09:22 AM Post #3
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Shut up and build me more houses, bitch! >_<

(I'll give it a try tomorrow. Will edit then.)
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Dilla May 14 2010, 05:19 PM Post #4
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I would rather you get back at me on that Geass fic I sent to you a couple weeks ago first, brodie. :ninja
Edited by Dilla, May 14 2010, 05:24 PM.
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mortalone May 20 2010, 02:57 AM Post #5
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I've had this in my favorites for a while on FFnet, but I want to see where it goes before I give a final verdict. It's a very original story, but there are a lot of loose ends that need tying together.
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li.u May 20 2010, 10:55 PM Post #6
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Ah shit. I had totally forgotten about that. Anyway, I read some of the chapters, but lost interest rather soon. Not because it was so awfully bad that I couldn't take it anymore, no. It just got way too generic and mediocre after a while.

The AU element of estranged son Naruto with daddy issues, while not 100% perfectly executed, was still an interesting prospect. Then the story just lost all the innovation after Team 7 made it to Suna. The battle against Gaara was pretty much ripped from canon with few, very minor tweaks. Same goes for the Akatsuki attack. To be honest, I had hoped that they wouldn't make an appearance in this AU until much later. Instead they make the same entrance as in canon without even giving a rat's ass about any AU changes.

The most annoying thing to me, however, was that Naruto's skill set got imported 1:1 from the manga. Rasenshuriken, Sage Mode, it's all there. I'm not saying that would've been impossible for this Naruto to learn all that stuff in his alternate world, but again. That's just not what I look for in an AU.

Not a terribly bad story per se, but it has nothing to make it stand out in any way.

2.5/5
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